Witch's thoughts: the time indicated at the beggining of each part means 'after the accidents from previous chapter'. just to make sure nobody will get confused:)
comments are love :)
Two weeks later
Report of activity:
Adi Gallia's state has stabilized. According to the information I received from the Healer's Ward, after they finish their anti-shock treatment she will be released to her quarters immediately. She agreed to talk with the officers responsible for the investigation of Padawan Siri Tachi's death as the only witness of the girl's last moments, as well as the person directly involved in the case. Depending on what the officers retrieve from her memory, the Council will decide for her to be accused of being responsible for her Padawan's death or not.
After the end of my mission with Master Kouri, Master Rym, Knight Alberona, Knight Raksion and Knight Uruger, we were summoned before the Council to report the results of our investigation. Not having the most optimistic information to share, we came to a conclusion that the incident that resulted with Padawan Tachi's death was not a one-time accident. Collected data about attacks on Jedi and their missions provided us with a suggestion that the activity alone could be a part of bigger plan, but what for and what it is all about, we are not yet sure. Enough to say that from the teams that were sent on missions after Gallia-Tachi incident, out of four, one came back unaffected, one was attacked but managed to find shelter and two went missing. Right now, we are still looking for Koukin-Mikk and Zath-Chun teams, but we haven't found any traces yet.
Master Qui-Gon Jinn
Qui-Gon's private notes:
I'm worried. I'm seriously worried. Up until now I thought I managed Obi-Wan's education quite well, however, lately I've been thinking about that more and more doubtfully. After we came back from Shairaan, he seemed distant and deep in thought, which wouldn't be strange at all considering that one of his childhood friends had just died. But, that was not it, or at least not only it.
Obi-Wan wasn't behaving like himself and when I noticed some similarities with Quella's behaviour, I immediately went to her, it did not matter if she was sick or not. I've known her too long and too well not to be aware that if she didn't like Obi-Wan as I was afraid she did, she wouldn't hesitate to mess up his mind, given the chance. But it turned out that neither of them, neither Quella nor Obi-Wan, wanted to blame the other. Quella was defending herself, claiming that she did not take a liking in him, but didn't care about him anymore, while Obi-Wan swears that she didn't do anything to him against his will. And that was what I thought of as suspicious.
Suddenly, all the missions that they went alone on popped up in my mind. Then, it seemed natural, all in all Obi-Wan and Quella are both more battle-orientated Jedi and even if I tried to make a diplomat out of the boy, he still managed to keep the collected attitude of a fighter.
Being left with calmer and more pacifistic Shakti, who above all was interested in botany, hadn't been a great burden. She was sweet; even worrying for my apprentice was more bearable with her by my side. If that was a romance novel, I should have said that she was like a little Quella, when I first noticed I loved her; that she brought me relief. But that's not true. Quella has never brought me relief. She herself was full of chaotic, violent urges, emotions and needs. From the moment we met, our relationship was full of dangerous and unpleasant events, turns and even near-death situations. Yet, we are alive.
There was one mission of theirs… I don't remember the name of the planet, but from what I've gathered, it was rather peaceful. Yet, Obi-Wan returned badly wounded. When sitting with him in Healer's Ward, I tried to get to know what had happened. Neither of them wanted to tell me the truth, saying that it was an accident. However, I knew they lied. Why? I didn't ask. What for? I didn't ask.
When we returned from our recent mission, Obi-Wan and Quella didn't talk. They were passing each other as if they didn't exist. Just like that. Again, I didn't notice a significance of that, moreover, I was quite pleased as it turned out, because since the usual talk between them ended up as an argument, this way it was better. Quella has a terrible character and everybody knows about it; yet her quarrels with Obi-Wan became even more disturbing.
I tried to talk with him. I thought I knew my apprentice. But here, I felt as if someone was laughing at me.
After Siri Tachi's death, I had to have a proper talk with my Padawan about grieving, but more importantly, about revenge and killing. Faint hints of what was going on in his soul suggested that he was far more affected by the Shairaani's way of thinking that I've ever imagined he would be. As much as I respected Quella's and Shakti's beliefs, I couldn't allow my own, human, Jedi Padawan to get taken over by his emotions because I didn't train him enough to choose what is best for him. I tried to explain, to persuade him, but the only answer I got was his calm and understanding smile. He said he knows all that and not to worry about him anymore.
Force, how I did not believe him!
We ended up quarrelling. Me, a Master with him, a person I love more than my life. How did it happen? It's simple. Talking about the right to kill, he raised the subject of Quella being the murderer. And what's more, he said that so serenely, so dispassionately, that if it wasn't for a trembling of his hands, I'd have been fooled.
Oh apprentice of mine, did I hurt you so much?
To be completely honest, I didn't know what to do. All of my diplomatic training and experience told me was to ignore him and let all his teenage moods swings to cease and wait for him to come to me and apologize, like an exemplary Padawan should. However, I soon realized, I was simply not able to do that. I felt every one of his tensed thoughts, every move of a face muscle, when he tried to remain indifferent. And I couldn't contain myself anymore.
What I've done was probably the most stupid thing in my whole life of a diplomat and I knew I was going to regret it soon. But then, when I touched his face, the expression of unlimited surprise and a sudden suspicion appearing one after another… and emotions, finally his real emotions seeping through the shields. When he closed his eyes, slowly as if afraid to scare me, I felt… peaceful. Just right. Wishing to stay like that.
He left soon after I took away my hand and apologized.
Half a standard year later
Report of activity:
The number of missing teams is increasing drastically. With two in the beginning, we now are looking for more than fourteen double teams Master-Padawan and Knight-Knight. The Council has decided to order all teams to return to their respective Temples until we clear the situation. Those who cannot leave now, being in the middle of an important diplomatic missions, from rank C to A have to accept the reinforcements, as it was decided that they should move in groups with minimum of four members with a rank above Padawan.
As we are not yet aware of what directly caused that sudden increase in 'hunting down' Jedi, the Council has decided to take far-reaching precautions. All Padawans are to be trained in groups focusing on their battle abilities, with Senior Padawans as their teachers. We have no other choice since that all Jedi with rank of a Knight and above, are involved in looking for the missing and kidnapped teams. Some suitable candidates will be taken in to practice in the Healers' Ward. Healer K'ma Dravi with Padawan Bant Eerin will take care of the arrangements. Knight Visul Uruger with Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi will take care of battle training.
The Council declined the Senate's offer to assign an armed squadron of guardians for the Order, by a majority of the votes. As much as the situation has turned serious, I still want to believe that we are able to handle it ourselves.
Councillor Depa Bilaba
Handwritten: Jedi Master Ororo Zath was found dead on Xizssi I, her Padawan, Bruck Chun, is nowhere to be found.
Qui-Gon's personal notes:
I saw Obi-Wan with a girl. A blushing girl.
And no matter what I say to my mind, I can't stop being a jealous old man.
When I caught up with him later, careful not to mention the incident I was a witness of, I initiated a talk about bonds and relationships in a young man's life, trying to be as discrete as I could. However, either my talents are failing me at such age or I simply can't hide anything from him anymore, as it only made him laugh, embarrassed that his old Master is meddling into issues of his Padawan's life he shouldn't even be aware of. It saddens me, even if he denied such an attitude.
More importantly, I talked with him about another thing, one that I think slightly surprised him when I chose to voice it then. However, such thought was bothering me quite for a while and I'm positive that Quella was also wondering what to do if such situation was to occur. There was nothing we could do directly, though. The situation forced us to watch passively, seeing how the events would develop and neither of us liked it any tiny little bit.
The point is: we were worried that Obi-Wan had fallen in love with Shakti.
From the objective point of view it may seem ridiculous, but the truth is simply terrifying; after the return from Shairaan, the girl started to mature rapidly, developing mental and physical attributes of an adult Shairaani even faster than we assumed she would. Now, we can assess her age to be around seventeenth standard year of a human and at this rate, with her thirteenth year, she will reach mental state of a twenty year old human woman. What's more, judging from the amount of time the two Padawans of ours are spending together, I can say that our worries are quite justified.
I don't have anything against the girl. Shakti is a lovely, smart, gentle girl who anyone would like to have as their acquaintance. And she becomes more and more beautiful with each day passing. That's true she is still a child; but not for a long time soon. As much as I hate to say that, the possibility of them falling in love, the emotion that we are taught and convinced to let go of, is frighteningly high.
Even though, Obi-Wan denied any sort of allusion to such situation. When faced directly with the problem, he calmly explained that even though he does love Shakti, he still has someone he loves more than her. One's Master shouldn't inquire more then, letting his Padawan to have some privacy, knowing that life will change his views soon enough. So why in all Sith Hells do I feel like I'm… suffocating? It's ridiculous for my age. Am I turning into love-struck teenager? And is it really love? Maybe I'm just being possessive…
Shakti was assigned as a healer's apprentice, as she can't and doesn't want to fight. Quella doesn't even try to force her to go through battle training, saying that if she didn't get it on Shairaan, when more people than ever wanted to kill her, she won't get it at all. No matter who tried to convince first Master and then Padawan, both of them refused to change their minds. Not that I expected otherwise, but sometimes Quella's character features in that girl terrify me. That is, she even managed to talk back to Obi-Wan, to who she used to not to say anything more than her agreement. She isn't shy anymore and I have a strange impression that Obi-Wan likes her more this way. He stays with her in healer's ward if he isn't on duty or doesn't have classes with other Padawans or Younglings. They spend so much time together that it's weird that they haven't become siblings yet…
… I hope I'm just possessive…
Standard year later:
Report of activity:
The situation is growing worse.
Taking into account that members of Jedi Order are being attacked even on their 'home' planet Coruscant, the Council has decided to declare a Code Yellow to be put into action until further notice. What's more, the Council decided as follow these precautions:
1. All Jedi Sentinels including Watchmen and Shadows, as well as all Jedi Guardians that are not currently stationing on Coruscant are to return to their Temples or to safety.
2. The order to move in groups no smaller than four Jedi with rank above Padawan is still in force.
3. All Padawans not yet battle trained are prohibited from leaving the Temple's grounds without their Masters. Younglings are on no account allowed to leave the Temple's grounds.
4. Jedi Investigators and Jedi Consulars are being formed into teams that are obligated to move as a unit.
5. All missions with risk factor above C+ are cancelled until further notice.
In addition to the regulations mentioned above, due to severe lack of the personnel, the Council decided to speed up the process of knighting for some of the Senior Padawans. The ones chosen to be knighted soon are: Padawan Garen Muln, Padawan Roxo Irrik, Padawan Sorakkm Ono, Padawan Rickettsia Akari, Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padawan Ri O'rkof and Padawan Bant Eerin.
Healer's trainees chosen to take trials in healing duty are: Padawan Ameraxella Aurrum, Padawan Sofia Terra, Padawan Maaya Sakamoto, Padawan Rikk Narusiv, Padawan Shakti Aumeros and Padawan Tatiana Kotova.
The police forces haven't succeed, so far, in retrieving any information about what might be the cause of the increased attacks on the members of Jedi Order. From what our sources have managed to gather, it seems as if all hunters form the whole Universe stated that Jedi hunting is the most economical way of gaining money, forming in packs just to get one Master or Knight, dead or alive. However who is it that has decided to pay for all these whole underhand dealings, is still unknown.
The Senate, with leading role of Senator Palpatine, has designed and created an armed forces, called Jedi Assistance Forces (JAF), that are to be incorporated into Jedi ranks in order to help us defend ourselves. As much as we would like to decline the offer yet again, I'm afraid we are in no position to do that anymore.
Councillor Mace Windu
Qui-Gon's personal notes:
I have never thought that after all this years of training how to contain my anger and negative emotions, being old and experienced as I am, I'd nearly burst out with a series of invectives. I haven't thought that just one person could have so much influence on what I feel or think. And my Padawan proved that yes, such a person exists: in him.
I am well aware that the Council's permission for Obi-Wan to take his trials is only due to the emergency situation we are presently facing. Otherwise, he would have to wait another few years, for such a chance. I thought he would be happy at the possibility of becoming a Knight, an equal for me: maybe if it was not so unexpected or so soon. Not many have taken their trials while being only twenty-two.
But oh no, after hearing the announcement that he has to report to be assigned the date of his trials, he went to the required office, only to say that he resigns from the privilege, as he doesn't feel ready for such responsibility yet. Imagine my face then. After we returned to our quarters, I couldn't take it anymore. As it turned out, he couldn't as well. My cold, calm question: why he did refuse, completely set him off.
I wonder what could have happened if Quella hadn't burst into my apartment. But even if she was used to rough treating, hearing us shouting at each other made her stop in her tracks. Maybe she even had to make me unclench my hands from Obi-Wan's shoulders, I don't remember even placing there. To be honest I don't remember much from that encounter. The only thing I know for sure, though, is that I've said a lot of things I shouldn't have. Who knows what could have been said if it was not for Quella. Oh sweet Force!
I know that she came to me with an important matter. Some of the missing ones were found in a critical condition, with their lives hanging in the balance. I was needed immediately, and needed with clear mind. To do that, I had to temporarily forget what I'd heard mere minutes ago, to focus on more pressing matters and even if I didn't like it, that was the way it had to be. Obi-Wan understood that as well. Despite all that fire he had in his eyes, he just bowed indifferently, saying that he had to go back because he had some lessons to lead for Padawans and Younglings. We parted in icy silence.
The meeting was upsetting. I've seen a lot in my life, but examples of raw and unexplained cruelty still disturb me, even more when seen on the ones we know and love. One thing was certain, those who will manage to survive will not be the same people I once knew. Some were terribly wounded, but the majority had mental scarring. Who would have done such awful thing?
Trying not to think about the suffering of these poor Jedi after I've returned to my quarters, my mind turned again to the matter that was previously pushed aside. What to do with my STILL Padawan?
It's not that I want to push him into knighthood. I don't mind him being with me. The point is, if Obi-Wan was to become a Knight, he would be finally equal to me. Finally… we would be allowed to… I don't know myself. Allowed what? Certainly something, if it was about my feelings only, but because if it's about his, I'm not so sure anymore. I promised Quella I'd deal with my emotions until Obi-Wan is knighted and after that – I'm going to confess, or at least, tell him. What I feel. Yes. I'll do that.
But why does the mere thought of such a moment hurts so much now? Is it a premonition of refusal? I hope not. I may be old and 'experienced' from definition, but I'm not a masochist. I don't want to get hurt. But, it will most likely end like that, with me getting hurt and him becoming embarrassed that I got that entire teenage crush wrong.
I must have sighed while writing it, as Shakti came to me and asked if everything is alright. I can't believe that some time ago she was that scared, shy little girl, brought from Shairaan to the Temple. Now, even though if still short, she is a totally different person. Her abilities in healing were discovered by healer Dravi and Shakti was assigned to be a part-time healer as well. I don't know if it's a correct definition, but I've heard that they say that, under her hands, the tissues are regenerating much faster and healthier. Important, I think.
The point is, Obi-Wan noticed the changes in Shakti as well. He still denies falling for her, but observing him, I know he focuses much on how she looks and what she wears. And they spend so much time together, given that majority of Temple personnel are assigned to the field work and all Senior Padawans are the ones who give lessons. No, Shakti isn't a Senior, but after Dravi's discovery, she was promoted to a healer instructor. Not having as much experience as she has, without Masters and Knights, she may be the one who could provide the young healers-to-be some examples of what the battlefield is like…
Force, who am I trying to deceive? I can't think about anything other than him. I can't throw it out of my memory. Obi-Wan's face, when he talks to her, is lit with small, warm smile. Turning into my direction, it tenses, his features harden.
In such moments, I have a sudden and violent urge to swear.
A standard year and a half later
Report of activity:
As a result of long the awaited success of the JAF and the Jedi's investigation teams, some of the missing and kidnapped teams have been retrieved. The massive group of hunters responsible for the kidnappings and assaults was arrested, even if it didn't result in gathering information about who financed that awful and reprehensible underhand dealings and what it was for. However, we all hope that it's only a matter of time now, as nothing so terrible can be left without a suitable response. Let the Force be with all, involved in the investigations.
Due to the severity of injures of some of the retrieved Jedi and a lack of available personnel, the Head of the Healer's Ward Sen'ra Allu and the Head of the Soul Healer's Ward Ozani Khak decided to allow the trainees to take the care of separate patients upon themselves. According to their decisions, Padawan Maaya Sakamoto and Padawan Ameraxella Aurrum will become the healing instructors. Knight Eerin and Padawan Aumeros will take care of the whole trainees' ward without supervision. Padawan Aumeros is to be promoted to a full-time healer in appreciation of her abilities and as a reward for her devotion.
What's more, all battle orientated Senior Padawans are assigned to be promoted to temporary Knights and be sent into field as a back-up for already fighting Jedi.
Summary of casualties:
Out of forty teams, thirteen are unable to go into field, ten are odd, two remain in the Coruscant Temple while the rest being fifteen, are scattered all over the Universe.
In recent missions injuries received: Master Aagard, Master Chadi, Master Allie, Master Jinn, Knight Muln and Knight Rumin.
The teams of Master Aagard and Master Chadi are to be transformed into one team. Knight Raksion will replace Master Allie in the assault team, Temporary Knight Kenobi will replace Master Jinn and join Knight Alberona in the investigation team. Knights Muln and Rumin will be treated in Healer's Ward and join their respective teams after having their injuries tended.
Councillor Luminara Unduli
Qui-Gon's personal notes:
I hate being hospitalized. I know it's stupid to say so, having a lot of deep cuts and several broken bones, but even so, this stay in Healers' Ward is a torture. It's not that I wouldn't stay in my quarters and obediently take my medicines…
Okay, whom am I trying to kid? Of course I wouldn't. Not with the situation that enrages out there with every day, every hour even. What a bad luck to be bedridden at a time like this.
Bant told me that Obi-Wan was designated to replace me in the investigation team. I guess neither he nor Quella were happy about such choice… on the other hand, lately they have developed some strange relationship. I mean, when previously they did not noticing each other, now Obi-Wan has become strangely obedient towards Quella… all his fire and fierceness towards her disappeared along the way, but so imperceptibly that I'd only noticed that when she yelled at him in rude manner to leave the room and he just bowed and did just that! Usually he would have told her something or just stood up to her. Now, no. Nothing in return, just silent obedience. What had happened between them, for Force's sake?
I know we haven't had time for each other lately with me being a diplomat and an officer and him being a teacher for other Padawans and Younglings. It was only because of the constant threat that is kept over our heads, was I able to withstand the separation. Again, I know it's stupid, but I see no point in denying it now: I need him. I need him so much it hurts. I may be a disgrace to the whole Order and what it represents, but right now, I couldn't care less. I need him; a sight of him brings my soul peace. How could I cope without it? I need his hands, oh Force when he was touching me, when I was brought into the Healers' Ward, feeling to find any of my injuries… by the way, I wonder how come he knew right away I was there. Maybe the answer is in Shakti being the supervisor of the ward I was brought in? That should be it.
Obi-Wan, my dear Obi-Wan, how much I miss you. Are you coping with Quella? Are you pleased or upset by the choice of the group you were forced into? I know he would like to replace Stass Allie in assault team more, but thank Force that Knight Raksion was chosen there instead. They are said to be in first line when it comes to a battle and I can't imagine Obi-Wan getting hurt. My fists clench on their own when I even think about that and considering that I still have such reaction even with broken finger bones, well, I guess that means something.
When did I start feeling like this? If somebody asked me that, I'd say: always. But the question is, when did I realized my feelings. Well, I don't know. Maybe it was after he fainted when he was eighteen, when he was panicked and desperate to get my attention? No, it was much earlier; this is what I'm sure about. Was it on Gyrnal, when I was faced with possibility of him being killed? Maybe? I don't remember; does it really matter?
I wish I could go on duty soon. Having so much time while lying here, being left with my mind and thoughts as the only companions is surely going to make me insane in no time. My head feels as if it's spinning; a mess of emotions I'm not able to release into Force is too disturbing to leave it alone even for a second. I wish Quella was with me. She could always find the real problem in that chaotic mass, pull it out and away… even if not always painless. I need her now. Maybe she would be able to pull out Obi-Wan from my head…
There is one thing that without fail makes me forget my inappropriate thoughts about my Padawan. Mace and Master Yoda have just stopped by just to remind me of it.
The situation grows worse and worse. I wonder when the time will come that we will be attacked in the Temple? The Jedi Hunters, as they called themselves, are getting bolder and bolder, and even if the police and the JAF are tightening the defences, they are still unable to pull through. The teams are being attacked even in large groups. Jedi assaulted or kidnapped are most likely not to be found alive, and if so, sometimes their state makes you wonder if it wouldn't be better if they were dead. What is left for someone out of duty like me, is to pray for my loved ones to be safe and for them to securely survive the whole campaign.
… I wish I could go on duty soon.
Two standard years later
Dear Diary,
It took quite some time for me to write to you again. It's not my fault though; I've just come back from Sylernia, the planet that was established as a temporary base for the JAF and Jedi assault teams. Along with some of my healing squad, I've been assigned there as a main healer! It's a great honour; as I'm the highest in the hierarchy of new healers, I take all the responsibility for healing the injured ones.
But it feels so good to be home.
I met Obi-Wan and Shakti yesterday. They were preparing to take off, as both of them were assigned to take part in the same mission. From what they've told me, it's something about trade blockade of some planet by some Trade Corporation. It seems strange though. I've heard that Obi-Wan was given the opportunity again to take the trials and as he finally accepted it, we all thought that the knighting ceremony will be held soon. Yet, he has to go on that mission.
When I told Garen about it, he was as bewildered as I was. Surprised that Garen is on Coruscant? He was injured in a battle with slavers and is now taking his rest in Healers' Ward under my care. As he and I have already been Knights for some time, we both think that it's high time for Obi-Wan to become one as well. I wonder, why he didn't want to accept the promotion earlier, I know he dreamed about it. Does the promise Knight Alberona forced him to make, influenced that? He told me that she had done so, and then I noticed that he distanced himself from his Master, but… well. Not my business, not my problem. I just hope he won't get hurt again. It would be really too much.
When I met them, Obi-Wan was going to the Archives to gather some information on the planet they were going to (Nabou? Naboo? Something like that). Shakti said she was going to get her things from the Ward but I knew she had just been back from it. Strange? Not really. She takes part in various healing processes on various wards. Her things could have been scattered and they surely were.
We started to talk, and when the topic became concentrated about the missing ones, Shakti slouched and I could see that she was tired. No wonder why. She takes care of nearly hopeless patients, the ones with mental damage rather than with physical one. It must exhaust her mentally as well, as she is one of the few who can heal them – her abilities have such a crazy range, that when we initially thought she is just a speed-healer (forces tissues to heal faster), it turned out that she is a psychological healer as well. But I guess the responsibility is too much, even for her. Still, I can't believe she is just thirteen years old; she acts so mature! Knight Alberona says that it's due to her origins; Shakti's ancestors had to adapt quickly to changes in environment and that's why they matured faster. Interesting, isn't it.
Coming back to topic, we were talking about the victims and then Obi-Wan said that looking at these mentally damaged, he wouldn't wish for such a fate even for a hated enemy. We both knew who he was thinking about, because it was no secret that he was foes with Bruck, but after Bruck had gone missing, he stopped himself from voicing such opinions. But then, I had a cold feeling travelling my spine and when I looked at Shakti, I could see that she observed Obi-Wan, her eyes suddenly calm and angry at the same time. It flashed and disappeared so fast that I don't know now if I haven't just imagined it, she was tired after all. Or maybe it was the light. Then, she said she has to check on her patients in the out-patients department and walked away, but I stayed with Obi-Wan and we spent some more time talking. We haven't seen each other for so long, there was so much to talk about.
It's good to be home.
Bant