CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Cursed

~Erisu~

"How's our ward?" Kakashi asked as Erisu made her way to the campfire at last.

"He's sleeping," she reported, "I thought he'd never settle down, poor fellow, he was terrified."

"I think he was more keen to keep you at his side," Neji said coldly, "you do realize he's a fully qualified shinobi, right?"

Erisu felt her face warm with embarrassment as she knelt on her sleeping bag next to her sensei. "Yes," she answered guardedly, "but he's also seriously dehydrated, sunburnt, half starved, and showing symptoms of heatstroke. Another day in the wilderness and he'd have died of exposure."

"He wasn't in the wilderness," Neji pointed out, "he was at a festival."

Erisu shut down and plucked at her bandages dejectedly.

"Leave her alone Neji," Lee spoke up, "she's only doing her duty as medic."

"Lee's right Neji," Gai said sharply, "now get some sleep, all of you. The ninken are on guard and we need to be fully rested if more rogues attack on the road tomorrow."

The boys accepted their sensei's ruling and settled down for the night.

"Good night, Erisu-san," Lee said pleasantly as he burrowed into his bag.

"Sweet dreams," she answered softly as Team Gai all closed their eyes.

Kakashi brushed his fingers over Erisu's hand to catch her attention.

"How's your back?" He asked, "did you treat it after your bath?"

"Oh-um," she seized up as he moved closer to take a look, "yeah, but I'm not sure how well I did. It's hard to reach," She shouldered out of her kimono and slipped her mail over her head to reveal the vicious jagged tear in her shoulder blade. His hand gently removed the gauze and traced the stitches. He repositioned her between his knees so he could clean the injury, then she felt the warm hum of chakra on her pink and irritated flesh. She closed her eyes as he healed her, feeling his spiritual energy mingling with her cells.

She'd never been on the receiving end of medical ninjutsu before, except when she'd treated herself, but the feeling was wondrous. She let her body relax as her tingling tissue mended slowly beneath her sensei's warm hands. When he finally stopped she found she'd nearly fallen asleep in his arms.

"How's that?" He asked in a whisper so as to not wake the others.

"Perfect," she murmured over her bare shoulder. She gazed into his dark eye and realized, in that moment, just how happy she was. They were bathed, fed, rested, and had enjoyed a sweet, simple evening together at the festival. She'd had pocky and candy, he'd even bought her a plushie for no particular reason. Beautiful fireworks were still fresh in her mind. Their mission was so far a success, in some part thanks to her, and now they were safe together in the warmth of the campfire.

Erisu dropped her eyes to the smiling Kappa on her bedroll and sighed. A long, deep sigh of complete contentment.

"It was absolutely perfect."

"Risu," Kakashi began, he sounded odd, breathless.

She looked up at him curiously, his hair golden in the firelight.

"O-sama?"

"I..." His words seemed to be caught in his throat as he gazed at her with that dark grey eye, then he looked away. "I think you handled yourself marvellously on this mission, Risu, and my report to the Hokage will reflect that." Despite his praise she felt strangely disappointed.

"Thank you, Kakashi," she murmured, sliding back into her kimono, their legs still touching.

"I'm also going to recommend you for the Anbu," he said unexpectedly.

"What?!" She exclaimed, "seriously? But I'm only a-"

"Genin, I know," he finished for her, "rank is irrelevant for appointment to Anbu. You'll excel in the Black Ops."

"But Yuma-senpai said I wasn't qualified-"

He cut her off again, more sharply, "Yuma is mistaken. The Anbu is where you'll thrive."

She cocked her head and regarded him carefully. He seemed rather irritated. "Kakashi..?" She caught his eye and his expression softened, professionalism dropping.

"I think you'll be of most help there," he told her quietly, "at first I'd pegged you as an interrogator but you'd do better in the field. The Anbu is always in need of clever individuals with a knack for deception. Especially those who don't have an ego to get in the way of anonymity. That was Yuma-san's problem: too interested in personal glory to remain faceless."

"You knew him in the Anbu?" She asked, intrigued.

"We were partnered briefly," Kakashi admitted, "and although I don't like to speak ill of my comrades I feel I should inform you that he almost cost us a mission because of his arrogance. Respect him as your superior of course, but don't put too much stock in his claims just because of his rank. He tends to exaggerate." Erisu was sure Sota's statement about bad blood between Yuma and Kakashi was right but decided not to pry. Something in the nervous way his eye darted away from hers caused her to suddenly speak recklessly.

"I want to thank you, Kakashi, again, for everything you've done for me," she said rather quickly, "you didn't need to talk to Tsunade-sama, or mentor me, but you did and I'll always be grateful." He blinked slowly but didn't reply so she continued in the same hasty manner, "but the truth is I'm terrified. Terrified that I'll disappoint you. When I met you I felt everything change." Everything she'd been containing came flowing forth on her trembling breath. "I'm so fond of you and if I lost you because of some stupid blunder on my part I'd never forgive myself. Even though we don't know each other very well and I'm not a member of your team, or one of your close friends, I still hope that we'll be able to spend time together once I'm no longer your student. Cause if I lost you - erm - not that i mean you're mine or anything - cause that's ridiculous! I-I only mean that I really care about you," her face was growing redder and redder as the words tumbled out uncontrollably, "quite apart from my admiration for you as my sensei.. You've become very important in my life and I-I'm sorry, O-sama, I only mean that-"

He caught her face in his hands and her words halted instantly. She realized how close she'd come to making the confession and her heart was hammering violently. His eye had grown quite round as he stared at her in silence, fingers in her hair.

"Risu-chan..." He whispered.

"S-sensei..?" She answered feebly.

"I'm not going anywhere." He said it so firmly and honestly that it stole her breath away. As she gaped at him, lips parted, she found herself overwhelmed by the inexplicable desire to kiss him. Kiss him.

The thought was solidifying in her mind by the second. Time slowed around them and the forest slipped away. His hands were warm, shaking slightly, as he ran them through her thick, silky hair. Fingers caressed the back of her neck, cool on her exposed skin, his other hand glided down her spine. Holding her waist he pulled her into an embrace, her face buried in his chest. He was so warm, so strong, the only constant in her chaotic life. She pressed herself hard against him, feeling his heart pounding against her chest, his shaky breath in her hair.

But then it occurred to her how selfish she was being. She'd nearly expressed her love but that would've been the cruelest thing she could do to him. How dare she care for someone again after what she'd done last time? She suddenly recalled how she'd held Miwa against her in those last moments...

His face was against her neck now, she could feel the shape of his lips through his mask and found herself trembling uncontrollably. Blood stung her eyes as she was assaulted with a wave of loneliness. Kakashi's loneliness.

She couldn't do this to him.

Miwa's mother's voice came back to her: "you used her! Twisted her, made her love you, and then you left her!"

What are you doing Erisu?

Erisu abruptly pulled away. Kakashi looked at her in confusion but made no move to stop her. She turned away from him, glimpsing hurt in his eye, and adjusted her sleeping bag.

"Forgive me," she said thickly, through barely suppressed tears, "we should probably get some rest."

"Risu, wait.." He turned her back to him and her heart palpated madly. "Do you really care for me that deeply?"

She hesitated. He was expecting her kokuhaku... The words were there, screaming in her mind but she couldn't speak them. She couldn't make the same mistake twice, destroying everything she touched. But as he gazed into her eyes she realized he could see her answer on her face. His bittersweet bliss whispered to her senses and she gasped as her eyes turned pink.

She glimpsed the figure of a girl with her back facing teenaged Kakashi. Her shoulder length hair rippling in the breeze.

"Kakashi-kun.." The girl whispered and Erisu saw, through Kakashi's eyes, his hand crackling with brilliant blue chidori. His hand plunged through flesh and bone, blood bursting forth alongside the chittering electricity as he killed her. Her eyes widened in astonished agony as she whispered his name for the last time...

"Kakashi-kun..!" Erisu gasped, gripping her chest in horror. For a moment she was certain he'd just run her through with his lightning blade. She stared at him in shock. Blood was trickling from her eyes, droplets clinging to her lashes.

Comprehension crashed down on her. She recalled with sudden clarity the photograph of Kakashi's childhood team, the gentle, smiling girl, and the name carved into grave he spent so much time at...

"Risu," he gripped her in concern, "what is it?"

"Rin..." she whispered before she could stop herself. No words could describe the look in his eyes as he registered what she'd said. He released her immediately and rose suddenly to his feet.

"You..." His voice shook slightly, "...you know about her...? Did you-did you steal that from my eyes?"

"Kakashi I didn't mean to-" she rose clumsily in her distress, "I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to..." but he couldn't seem to hear her as he ran his hands rapidly through his hair, staring around wildly. She'd never seen him this worked up.

Without another word, Kakashi turned on heel and strode into the night leaving Erisu standing alone in the firelight.

"Good morning!" Lee said through a huge yawn as he sat up, glossy black hair standing on end, "how was your sleep, Erisu-san?"

She blinked up at him and lied pleasantly through a perfect fake smile, "blissful, how bout you?"

"Rejuvenating!" He declared, bouncing to his feet energetically, "we should run the rest of the way!"

"That would be splendid Lee," beamed Gai in his deep hearty voice, "but first, how's our companion doing, my dear Erisu-chan?"

"Still asleep," she reported as she took the eggs she'd been frying off the fire, "I treated his burns again upon awakening and he seems to be mostly recovered from his heatstroke." It wasn't completely true, however, because Erisu hadn't slept. After Kakashi's disappearance she'd lain awake in guilty turmoil.

Neji was awake now as well, "where's Kakashi-sensei?"

"Patrolling," she answered cheerily as she divided the massive omelet into five equal portions, placing bowls over two to keep them warm. She handed breakfast to Team Gai with what she hoped was a carefree smile.

"Thank you!" Lee bowed and began shovelling the omelette into his mouth.

"It's delicious!" Praised Gai.

"Where's yours?" Asked Neji.

"I already ate," she lied sweetly, swallowing a foodpill, "I made tea." She was filling the tin camping cups when Kakashi returned. She poured scalding tea on her hand, cursing vehemently.

Lee was thunderstruck, "I didn't know you could swear."

"Good morning," Kakashi greeted them casually, "sleep well?" He crouched next to the fire and warmed his hands.

Heart pounding, Erisu mutely handed out the tea with trembling hands, then rose to check on their informant. Her fist was instinctively clenched in pain from her burns but she barely noticed as she gently prodded the old man awake.

"My apologies, Ojiisan," she murmured gently as he opened his bloodshot eyes, "but breakfast is ready and we'll soon be getting under way."

"Thank you," he coughed, sitting up. He still looked rather weak. "Did you say breakfast?"

Once they were all fed and packed, (Kakashi politely thanked Erisu for cooking but wouldn't meet her eye), the troupe headed off at a brisk pace. Gai was trying to convince the old man to ride on his back so they could move faster but their ward flat out refused. Neji was in a particularly foul mood as they continued through the shady woods and kept making snide remarks about Lee's over excited behaviour. Erisu brought up the rear to avoid Kakashi, under the pretence of keeping an eye on the mole, who was incredibly pleased by the company.

"You're too pretty to be a ninja," he told her as they passed through a patch of sunlight, "you should be a model or an actress!"

"Thank you, Ojiisan," she replied absently, "but I don't see how that would help the people."

"A beautiful woman like you could bring joy to every man just by letting them look at her!" He said rather imperiously, "you've got a very pretty face and a perfect figure but why is your hair so short? A real lady should keep her hair long to show her health. A man doesn't want a wife with hair like a boy! And you want to land a wealthy husband right?"

She nodded without really listening, her eyes on Kakashi's back up ahead.

"...Talking about wives, you remind me of my third. Amazing cook, practically lived in the kitchen, only way I'd have her!" He laughed at his sexist joke but no one else seemed to hear him. "Incredibly pretty but poor constitution. She died in a bout of flu one winter while I was stationed up north. My fourth wife though was a ninja like you..."

Erisu's heart was starting to accelerate as she stared fixedly at the red spiral on Kakashi's flak jacket. It seemed to be spinning, passing in and out of the shade was playing tricks on her.

"...I've always said a woman's place is in the home. They just can't handle the battlefield like a man. She completely cracked under the pressure during the war, it was a shame too cause she was a firebrand in the sheets..."

The forest was growing steadily colder and Erisu started to shiver, her face draining of warmth.

"...when they brought me in to identify her body I knew it was her right away, her eyes were so green you see. Still wide open as though death had surprised her..."

The red spiral was spinning so fast it was making Erisu dizzy.

"...the medical ninja doing the autopsy became my fifth wife, foxy little thing. You might not believe me but I was devilishly handsome in my youth. I could've charmed even Tsunade-hime out of her pants had I the chance. Her highborn blood would've been ideal for child bearing but she was seeing someone at the time..."

Erisu's leg was tremulous as she tried to maintain her composure despite the strange fluttering behind her sternum. Her blood flared agonizingly and a tiny whimper escaped her in spite of herself. Kakashi looked over his shoulder and into Erisu's eyes. Her stomach flipped over and her legs gave out. She dropped instantly into blackness.

"Erisu-san! Please wake up!"

"I knew she was lying when she'd said she'd already eaten. That's what she gets for starving herself."

"Poor constitution just like my third wife. She keeled over like that too, poor thing."

"Kakashi, has this ever happened before?"

"She's anaemic but she said she had it under control..."

"Oh Gai-sensei, is she going to be okay?!"

"Calm down Lee, it's her own fault."

"Risu, wake up."

Erisu blinked open her eyes and gazed groggily up at humanoid shadows. Someone helped her sit up.

Kakashi was peering at her analytically with his mismatched eyes, supporting her in his arms. Lee was hovering around her looking worried with Gai frowning at his side.

"I'm so so sorry," she scrambled to her feet, bowing as deep as she could, face hot with shame. Her leg was screaming, her veins full of acid. She squeezed her eyes shut, desperately wanting to disappear. Everyone's fiercely curious eyes were boring into her, their questions foaming in her mind. Questions that she couldn't answer...

"Are you alright?" Lee asked fretfully.

"I'm fine, it won't happen again," she said desperately, "what time is it? How long was I out? We need to keep going!"

"My thoughts exactly," drawled Neji, "we're wasting time standing around."

Erisu looked around for their valuable informant and spotted him eyeing her as though she'd just sprouted another head.

"Ojiisan, are you alright?" She asked, looking around madly for foes that she was certain would be dropping from the trees any second.

"Forget about me girl!" Barked the old man, "worry about yourself you look like the living dead!"

Erisu tried to dismiss this but everyone remained motionless, staring at her as though they were expecting her to faint again.

"I-I'm alright," she forced a laugh, trying to make them seem like the preposterous ones, "shall we carry on?"

"What's wrong with your leg?" Neji asked suddenly and Erisu looked down to see it shaking as though she had a tremor.

"J-just nerves," she stammered, "I'm itching to get going." Still no one moved.

"Erisu," Kakashi began quietly, "what's going on with you?"

A hoarse cry sounded from behind her and Erisu leapt out of her skin, spinning around to spot a crow perched in a berry bush, eyeing her curiously. Deciding that standing around was pointless, Erisu took the old man's hand and started off down the trail, realized she was going the wrong way and promptly turned and continued in the other direction. After a moment, the other shinobi followed.

After nearly an hour of tense silence they finally accepted that Erisu was alright and returned to relative normal. But Erisu was far from alright... She hadn't been in this much pain since the day the curse was first placed on her and it was taking all of her willpower to not curl up sobbing.

She couldn't understand why it was happening now..

~Kakashi~

Travel back to Konoha was slow but they were ahead of schedule and hadn't encountered any trouble on the road. Kakashi had been doing his best to keep his and Erisu's conversation the night before out of his mind. For a moment he'd thought she was going to confess her love to him. She'd rejected his own kokuhaku so if she had confessed how would he have responded? He hadn't the faintest and quite frankly no longer cared after what she'd stolen from him.

He couldn't bare to think of Rin, but it was even worse imagining that Erisu knew what he'd done.

But now he had another thing to worry about: she'd fainted again. She'd dropped to the ground without warning and remained unconscious for nearly ten minutes. Now she was trying to act as though nothing was wrong which made it all the more clear that something must be wrong indeed. Someone in perfect health wouldn't brush off fainting, only someone accustomed to fainting regularly would act as though it wasn't a big deal.

Erisu was ill and determined to keep it secret.

At long last they'd reached the wide dirt road that lead to the village's main gates. Lee and the informant were debating about martial art forms while Gai and Neji discussed battle tactics. Erisu had fallen behind. Kakashi slowed his pace to let her catch up but she'd stopped to lean against a tree. He paused to watch her, scrutinizing her stooped posture and pale skin. She wasn't just pale, she was pallid, and the mistiness of her eyes he now realized was caused by barely suppressed tears not dreaminess.

Erisu's left leg seemed to be vibrating as she leaned against the tree for support. Kakashi narrowed his eyes suspiciously but said nothing as he watched her massage her temple as though she was suffering from a migraine. She bowed her head, face hidden by a curtain of pale, ash blonde hair, and stifled a sob.

"Erisu," Kakashi called back to her, "we're nearly at the gates, are you coming?"

"Yeh, o'course," she gasped in a tight voice, "I'll be righ' there!"

Gai and the others were nearly out of sight now but still Kakashi hesitated. Something didn't feel quite right. Her voice had sounded off, almost slurred. He was certain her illness was something more than common lightheadedness. The last person he'd seen acting that way was Sasuke during the chūnin exams. Kakashi's eyes snapped up to Erisu. She couldn't be cursed?

Erisu was gripping her bandaged leg, knuckles white, torso rigid. Her whole body was visibly trembling now and she seemed to be depending on the tree for balance. He doubled back for her, the pallor of her skin was eerily white with more than a simple fatigue.

"Hey," he said but she seemed unable to hear him, her eyes were unfocused and she looked as though she might pass out again. "Hey," he repeated louder, she couldn't see him, "Erisu!"

She looked up and through him, her blue eyes creamy with a deathly fog. Her eyelids drooped as though she was barely awake and her jaw was slack, face blank. Alarmed, he grasped her shoulders to steady her as a shadow crossed her face. Her eyes rolled back in her head, the whites vibrating in her skull, her muscles had become completely stiff and she fell forward against him in a sort of semiconsciousness. Then her head involuntarily jerked back and she was suddenly convulsing and spasming in his arms. Her mouth fell open in a silent scream, an expression of sheer terror, then a disembodied moan rose from her gaping mouth and she went completely limp. Kakashi held her in silent shock as she crumpled against him. Her body was frightfully hot to the touch but her skin was absent of even the slightest trace of sweat. Horrified, he scooped her into his arms and took off for the village at a run. The colour in her face was draining rapidly, her skin translucent and nearly grey, dark spidery veins were visible in her throat and temples. She wasn't breathing. He accelerated into a full out sprint, passing Team Gai and vanishing through the gates.

"Help!" He burst into the hospital, "she needs help!"

A nurse raced to his side, another close behind with a stretcher, "what happened?"

"She's not breathing," he explained rapidly, "she was shaking, I don't think she could hear or see me. She was completely disoriented and then she just collapsed. I think she had a seizure."

"Lay her here," ordered the nurse and Kakashi lowered Erisu gently onto the stretcher, "she seems to be breathing now."

He stepped back as the other nurse rapidly connected Erisu to check her vitals.

"What's her name, is she your pupil?" Asked the first nurse, opening a chart to fill out her information.

"Ah, more or less," Kakashi replied, tearing his wide eye from the frail girl's body, "she's Hakuchō Erisu, genin, nineteen years old,"

"Ninja Registration Number?"

But before he could reply, the other nurse interjected, his face urgent, "BP 60/50, BPM 118, Temp 42.9 C, 47 mm Hg!"

"Oxygen!" Shouted the female nurse and they started wheeling Erisu away at top speed, Kakashi in pursuit.

"Get an IV started," barked the second, as he broke away from them at a fork in the corridor, "I'll get the fluid replacement."

"She isn't dehydrated," Kakashi assured the nurse as the medic vanished around the corner, "she got lethargic and fainted."

"Well how hard were you working her?" Demanded the nurse, accusation ringing in each word, "she probably dropped from fatigue. I've seen it before: ninja training till they pass out. It's suicidal the way you all behave!"

His blood ran cold, "is she going to be alright?" His voice came out weaker than he'd intended.

The nurse didn't reply and pushed Erisu into an emergency operating room. Kakashi followed, despite knowing he wasn't permitted. More medics appeared, masked and gloved, and started stripping off her clothes. An IV was quickly filling her with saline and the monitors were started up.

"You can't be in here," someone told him, but he didn't hear them. The bandages had been cut off and Kakashi saw Erisu's left leg for the first time. A horrible black symbol had been seared into her thigh by some incomprehensible technique:

犠牲:

Sacrifice.

Spreading from the cursed symbols were blackened veins, as though tar ran through her blood, and the entire limb was discoloured and misshapen. Her skin was a mottled mauve, laced with purplish veins and bruises.

"Her organs are failing! Type her, we need blood!"

He wasn't aware of the shocked shouts from the medics, or the yells that she needed an emergency transfusion.

"I can't find a pulse in her foot! DVT left leg, I need a catheter!"

He glimpsed blood as they inserted a tube into her leg and began feeding it into her artery. Somewhere someone was issuing the summons for the Hokage. But Kakashi was deaf, ears ringing, as he stared at Erisu's motionless, half naked body on the operating table. He hadn't realized she was so lily white, or that her arms looked as delicate as a doll's. He hadn't noticed that her bones protruded from her fragile body or quite how innocent her face looked even in an oxygen mask...

He was being ushered from the room, Tsunade sweeping past him while barking orders, and the door slammed shut with a finality that echoed through his bones. He stared through the wired glass window at a flatlining monitor. Tsunade mutely shouting as she sent her chakra into the thin, motionless girl.

"Get out of the way!" Someone knocked him sideways as they raced into the room with several bags of blood.

Kakashi swayed on his feet, unseeing, and slumped against the wall. His mother, his father, Obito, Rin, Minato, Kushina... Even Sasuke, and now Erisu... Was he going to lose everyone?