It had been nearly twenty minutes since she'd stepped out of the car and walked up the cobblestone path to the front door. Had it not been for the freezing winter weather, she wasn't sure how long she would have stood there—staring, waiting for courage, for strength, for peace…for something.

Her hands trembled as she reached into her jacket pocket, grasping the keys and unlocking the door. Taking a deep breath, she stepped inside, closing the door behind her softly. It was dark, silent—so unlike the way it had been when they were together—when they were young and happy and in love.

She reached up for the light, finding the switch without any problem. Everything here was so familiar. She'd walked these rooms ten thousand times, but never alone..never like this..never knowing that one element of this house would be forever missing.

The light blanketed the room in an instant. Her eyes fell on the fireplace, the pictures—his face. She felt the tears begin to burn in her eyes as she reached out and took the frame in her hands.

Carefully, she brushed away the dust that had settled on the glass. It had been too long since she'd been here.

"Kel, I know how much I hurt you…not trusting you..not believing you when you said that Aubrey was conning me." Joey took a step closer, reaching out to her.

She shook her head, pulling away. "Just stop," she whispered. "I can't do this again. I can't let myself go here again. I begged you to listen to me. I begged you to trust me and you accused me of not wanting you to be happy…of being so jealous that I would intentionally sabotage your relationship. Do you have any idea how much that hurt me?"

"That's what I'm trying to tell you, Kel. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry that I hurt you. I don't know what I was thinking. I was so stupid. It was so stupid of me to believe Aubrey…especially over you…you of all people. You've always been the one person that I could count on above everyone else."

"I thought that too," she whispered, "but you didn't trust me….You didn't trust me enough."

"It's not about that though. I made a mistake. I did something stupid and I hurt you. I never wanted to do that. That's why I'm here. That's why I asked you to meet me here. I wanted to apologize and I wanted you to remember the way it was between us…the way it can be again."

She stared back at him. His eyes were honest and sincere and she didn't doubt his words for a second. "I wish that were true, Joey. I really do."

"It is," he said softly.

Shaking her head, she felt the tears begin to fall down her face. "I can't…not this time. I can't be your second choice…I won't be that..not for you..not for anybody…not anymore."

"That's not what this is…this isn't a rebound, Kel. I love you…I always have. We've always had that connection." He took her hand in his for a moment, pulling her closer to him. "Please…"

She smiled. "I love you too," she whispered. "And if this is really what you want…you'll still want this later…but right now it's too soon…and I can't jump into this with you." Pulling her hand from his, she opened her mouth to speak, but stopped.

"Kelly, wait…" He watched helplessly as she turned towards the door.

"You take care of yourself," she whispered as she walked out the door.

The sight of her tears falling on the glass brought her thoughts back to the present. Even now, she could remember how proud she'd been of herself for lasting a respectable forty-eight hours before she'd regretted walking away from him.

She'd called his cell and left message after message, telling herself he was busy with work or that his phone was malfunctioning, or that he was in an area that had poor service. She never imagined the truth…

Her fingertips traced his face through the glass. "Joey," she whispered. "I don't know how to do this."

Turning around the room, her breath caught in her throat. There were so many memories here. The chair in the corner—the one they'd curled up in watching movies and eating pizza. The stairs where they'd laughed, and kissed, and fought, The window that they'd danced in front of so many nights, and the couch—She ran her fingertips over the soft fabric remembering the many nights she spent lying there, all wrapped up in his arms.

Tomorrow she was supposed to be at a church, prepared to say goodbye to the man she'd loved most of her life…and tonight she was standing in a house where days ago she'd thrown away her last chance with him.

"You know what the hardest thing is," she cried, the tears still streaming down her face? "I need you now more than ever. I need you to help me get through this. You've always been the one that I turned to when my life was falling apart and now my life has completely been blown to bits and you're gone."

She stared at the picture, feeling the hurt and anger well up inside her. "How the hell am I supposed to do this?" she screamed, hurling the picture at the mantle, cringing as she heard the glass shatter against the brick.

Her legs seemed to give out beneath her as she slumped to the floor, reaching out to grab the pieces of jagged glass.

"Hey, careful…be careful with that." The voice behind her startled her, and she turned her head quickly. "Kevin," she sighed, suddenly aware of what a mess she must be.

"Here," he said, reaching out and grabbing her hands, helping her to her feet. He walked with her over to the sofa, sitting down and waiting as she finally sat down next to him. He turned towards her, his eyes soft and filled with concern, "What are you doing here?"

She took a breath, grasping the broken frame and fighting for control of her voice. "I'm guessing probably the same thing you are. I think part of me maybe hoped I'd show up here and find him sitting here…Maybe this whole damn thing was some sort of cruel joke or a horrible mistake."

He nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean. It just doesn't seem possible. It doesn't seem possible that he's gone."

"The last time that I saw him, I walked away from him. He told me he loved me. He wanted us to try again and I turned him down. I turned my back on him. How do I live with that. How do I go on knowing that the last time I saw him I hurt him that badly?"

"At least you know what you said." Kevin stared at the floor. "I can't even remember the last time we talked. I've been so preoccupied with BE lately that I haven't had time to do anything. I haven't called…I haven't written…I haven't visited and the last time he called me, I cut the call short because of some stupid business meeting."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I know he was your brother. I know you're hurting too….I'm sorry."

He reached out, putting his arm around her shoulder and allowing her to rest her head against his. "Yeah," he sighed. "He was my brother and he was the love of your life."

She turned her head, looking up at him, her eyes wide and still filled with tears. "And tomorrow we have to say goodbye to him."

"Tomorrow we say goodbye…Tonight," he reached out, taking the picture from her hand and sitting it up on the coffee table in front of the sofa. "Tonight, we just remember."

The End