Chapter 26- Feelings

Author's Note- HI EVERYONE I AM SO SORRY. READ THIS AND I'LL EXPLAIN AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS CHAPTER.

As Pam walked down Roy's street, she searched her mind for any ideas on where Jim might be. After figuring that he wouldn't be anywhere public, she figured that he'd probably be at home alone. She pictured the heartbroken boy sitting around on his own and she felt her heart break for him once more. Pam couldn't have been more stupid tonight and she knew it. She looked up at the street sign and sighed; one more block until Jim's house. Pam wondered if his parents were home and if they were –did they know? She certainly hoped not and she was pretty sure that –knowing Jim- he wouldn't have said anything about this to them.

The cool air was whipping around and Pam was now reaching Jim's driveway. She took a deep breath as she walked up the path and tried to gather some confidence. Pam walked up the steps to his door and rang the doorbell once, before hearing the clamor of footsteps on the other side; running to answer the door. The door knob was turning on the other end and Pam was hoping that Jim would be the face to greet hers.

It wasn't Jim, but instead, it was his mother. "Hey honey," Mrs. Halpert greeted, a bit surprised to see the familiar face before her.

"Hi Mrs. Halpert," Pam replied, looking over the woman's shoulder, trying to nonchalantly search for Jim. He wasn't in her view yet. "Is Jim home?"

"I'm afraid he isn't," Jim's mom sighed. "I thought he was going to the same party that you were going to."

"Yeah, he was," Pam uttered, glancing down at her feet.

"Did he not show up?" Mrs. Halpert had always known that her son wasn't ever really one for parties, he'd much rather hang out with Mark and play videogames or shoot around in the backyard.

"No, he did," Pam said. "I just…I kinda thought he'd left by now." Well, she kinda hoped that he'd left by now.

"Well, I haven't seen him but if I do, I'll let you know," Mrs. Halpert offered, kindly.

"Okay, well, thanks," Pam told her. "Sorry to bother you."

"Oh, you're not bothering me at all!" Mrs. Halpert cried. "It's so nice to see you around again."

Pam smiled a bit, more at the ground than at Mrs. Halpert. "Same goes for you."

"See you soon," Mrs. Halpert called, as Pam walked back down the pathway.

Pam waved over her shoulder before realizing that she still had to find Jim. She was sure that Mrs. Halpert wouldn't lie if he was home. She would tell her where he was right away, without a doubt. So, he obviously wasn't home right now and he wasn't at the party either. Pam didn't think there was many other places that he would wander to. He might be hungry all the time but he wouldn't go for food and he wouldn't go to any other public place right now either. Pam thought he might be at a park and started walking in the direction of the nearest one, knowing it was her best bet.

As she took a few more steps, she felt a single tear slide down her face and then another and another and soon she was full-on crying. Pam stopped walking and covered her face, wiping away the tears with the pad of her hand. He wasn't there. She missed her chance with him. She messed things up with him too badly this time. Everything was coming back to her in flashbacks and she couldn't stop them this time. It was all catching up to her and she felt suffocated by it all. She needed to find him and she needed to tell him that she loved him. That she loved him and that she was sorry.

Pam hoped it wasn't too late as she steadied her breathing and wiped away the last of the tears. She closed her eyes tightly and saw Jim and her in his treehouse for the first time, when they were five. The treehouse. It was a place only the two of them knew and he had to be there, she knew it.

She craned her neck and spotted their treehouse in his backyard, like it had always been. Pam took a few deep breaths, gathering herself together, before walking around the Halpert's parked car in their driveway and along the side of their fence. She didn't want to be too loud; Mrs. Halpert was still inside and Jim could very well be in the treehouse.

Pam was shuffling along the bushes, doing a half run half walk. Even if Jim did turn around and hear her, what would he say? Go away? I hate you, Pam? Pam would still be able to get her words out and possibly change his mind, if he was thinking that way, that was.

She was now standing at the bottom of the treehouse's ladder, and she looked up with hopeful eyes to see a very Jim-like silouhette sitting in the treehouse. Pam smiled a bit to herself as she started up the ladder.

On the last step, she heaved herself over and up onto the platform. Pam dusted off her jeans and looked up, smiling at a very confused Jim.

"Pam...what the heck are you doing here?" Jim demanded, angrily. He folded his arms over his chest and furrowed his brow at her.

So it wasn't the reaction Pam was expecting but it was a reaction nonetheless, which was good enough for her. "Jim, I need to talk to you, okay," Pam admitted, trying to scoot closer to him.

"Really?" Jim shot back. "Really?"

"Yeah, really...why is that so hard to believe?" Pam was starting to realize that this was going to be a lot harder than she thought it'd be. Jim was obviously still in a lot of pain from what happened earlier, but she really couldn't blame him. Pam acted like a selfish jerk and she knew that now but she was just trying to tell him what was going on and apologize. If he'd let her, that was.

"Because you've spent the last couple months being a complete jerk to me!" Jim said, angrily. "And then you would come back and say how sorry you were and how it wouldn't happen again but then guess what? It happened again!"

"I…" Pam was trying to choose her next few words very carefully but she couldn't manage to think of anything to say that would convey how sorry she was.

"Exactly," Jim grumbled, turning his head away.

Pam reached over and placed her fingers under Jim's chin, tilting his head to face hers. She was suddenly aware of how close their faces were and she smiled apologetically. Pam leaned in slowly and closed the gap between them, kissing him slowly and sweetly. He was shocked at first before he smiled under her kiss, and returned it.

Pam pulled away first. "I love you, okay?" she told him.

Jim narrowed his eyes, a small smile and flush still left on his face. "Do you?"

"I didn't want to say it back then or ever," Pam started, looking away. "You have to understand that I was scared. I was scared because I was falling in love with my best friend. You're the guy I'm supposed to turn to when someone else breaks my heart and you're the guy who I've known since I was five. We're friends and friends aren't supposed to fall in love with each other."

"But I fell in love with you a long time ago," Jim interrupted.

"I know," Pam replied. "We messed up, Jim. I messed up big time by dating Roy and you messed up by letting me. And I know that there were many times when I should've listened to you and I didn't. I was so caught up in the fact that someone as popular as Roy might love me that I was ignoring the fact that the someone who had loved me all along was standing right there. I'm so sorry, Jim."

"It's okay," Jim relented, offering a half-smile.

"No, it's not," Pam told him. "I was so scared of feeling something for you that I opted to feel nothing at all. I had so many feelings for you and it was weird, I hadn't ever felt something like that for someone. When I was with Roy, I felt nothing and nothing felt safer. So I stayed with him. You made me feel, Jim."

Jim leaned into Pam, kissing her cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too," Pam replied, finally saying it back. Maybe they could make it work, she decided. Maybe being in love with your best friend would have its perks.

THE END. I decided to end the story here because I wasn't sure where I would take it after this so I figured ending it in the tree house could be ok. Hopefully, you guys liked it. I couldn't have written this story without all the support from you guys that I get in the reviews and follows and favorites. I really appreciate all of my readers and I hope that all of you liked this story. I'm really sorry for the horrible job of updating throughout the story though.

I'm aware that it took me forever to get this chapter out and I'm so incredibly sorry about that. I just started high school and am still getting used to the whole concept of actually having to do homework. Plus, I had cross country season going on too and that was really time consuming after school and on the weekend. I want to continue writing a few one-shots for The Office after this, if you guys think that's a good idea. So please let me know if you would like that in the reviews.

Thanks again to all of you for hanging in there during this story! I love you all and thanks for all the reviews! Please leave one for this chapter and let me know what you thought of this story!

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