You Must Love Me

Chapter Twenty-Six

Brady had known he was in for it the moment Greta came through the door.  The look on her face had told him she was in no mood to take prisoners.  And he had been right.  He had barely had time to say hello when she accosted him with, "What the hell is your problem?"

"Nice to see you too, Princess," he returned coolly.  "How's your day been?  Mine was fine until some crazy woman barged into my office and started yelling at me for no apparent reason."

Greta gave him a withering stare worthy of her royal status as she sank into one of the plush chairs in front of his desk.  "You're not nearly as amusing as you think you are, Brady," she returned.  "And don't even think you're going to worm your way out of this conversation with your smooth talk and that gorgeous grin.  I'm practically a big sister to you, and I refuse to be charmed."

Brady released a frustrated sigh.  "Well, then, sis, would you mind telling me why you're upset with me at least?  Because I'm drawing a blank.  What exactly have I done?"

"It's not what you've done.  It's what you haven't done," Greta returned testily.  "I had a rather enlightening conversation with Meghan today.  She told me that in the three months Chloe has been living with you, she's never seen you so much as kiss her.  No 'I love you'.  No gestures designed to sweep her off her feet.  Nothing.  I know that there's such a thing as being a gentleman, Brady.  But trust me, that time has been and gone.  It's time for you to take action."

"Are you finished yet?" Brady asked dryly, taking in her flushed face and the excited gleam in her eyes.  Once Greta was on a mission, it was almost impossible to get her sidetracked. 

"For the moment," she answered curtly.  Greta hadn't needed Meghan's account today to know that Brady and Chloe's relationship was at a standstill.  It had been frustrating the hell out of her for weeks now.  She had been watching their relationship for too long not to be personally invested in it.  And they deserved the fairy tale ending they'd been waiting so long for.

"Okay.  Then would you mind letting me talk for a moment?" Brady gritted through clenched teeth as he tried to remain calm, forcing himself to remember that Greta was a dear friend who was only trying to help.  "What goes on between Chloe and me is no one's business but ours.  Not yours.  Not even Meghan's.  And I'd really appreciate it if you didn't interfere."

"Too bad," Greta trilled brightly, with a mischievous smile.  "Obviously, you lack sufficient courage to make the first move.  I suggest you either find it, or expect us to take the initiative."  Seeing the mutinous look on his face at her playful threat, Greta softened her manner.  "What is it, Brady?  Why won't you just take the next step with Chloe?"

Brady leaned forward, rubbing his temples compulsively.  He could already feel the headache coming on.  "It's not that simple, Greta."

"Has anything with you and Chloe ever been simple?" Greta drawled.  "Look, you relationship has always been complex and difficult.  I get that.  But where exactly is the harm in just talking to her, finding out where she is on the issue?"  She was almost certain that Chloe was just waiting for Brady to let her know he still felt the same way.  The girl was practically pining away for him.

"The harm is that I offered her a place to stay, with no strings attached," Brady explained, with waning patience.  "I specifically said it wasn't with the intention of getting her back.  And it wasn't.  So if I go to her now, it makes me a liar, a hypocrite, a manipulator.  And I would never do such a thing to her.  She went through so much, Greta; and she finally feels happy and safe and content.  I won't be the one to rob her of that."

Greta felt her heart constrict.  He really was perfect.  Why couldn't there be more like him?  "So you're just going to let things stay this way?" she asked sadly.  "How can you stand it?  I know how much you love her, Brady.  This must be killing you."

Brady smiled softly, shaking his head.  "It's the happiest I've ever been, Greta.  For five years, I got used to coming home to an empty apartment every night.  I got used to loneliness and the meaninglessness of life.  Now, every night I come home, and my daughter rushes into my arms to give me a hug, just because.  And Chloe's there, smiling, asking me about my day, telling me about hers.  Everything is beautiful, almost perfect.  We're a family, Greta.  An unconventional one, I know; but a family all the same."

Greta felt envy surge through her.  What right did she have to sit in judgment of Brady when he had found something she'd never had and might never find?  There was something beautiful in that kind of self-denying love.  "I'm sorry, Brady," she apologized softly.  "You're right.  I don't have any right to interfere.  Especially now, knowing how happy you all are."

Brady saw the direction his friend's thoughts had taken.  He immediately got up and came around to her, pulling her into a comforting embrace.  "It's all right, Greta.  You'll find someone.  Somewhere there's a man perfect enough even for my best friend."

Greta pulled away, smiling weakly.  "Well, if you see him, would you mind giving him directions to my place.  I'm afraid he might get lost on the way."

Brady laughed.  "I promise.  I'm sorry, Greta; but I have to cut this short.  I have a meeting now.  But would you like to join us for dinner?"

Greta shook her head.  "No, that's all right.  Hope and I are having a girl's night out tonight.  Besides, I'm not so sure I'd be able to handle a whole meal with you and Chloe without screaming at you to kiss already.  And I would hate to disrupt your perfect family that way."  She wrinkled her nose at the absurdity of it all.

Brady chuckled.  "You'd be in good company at least.  I doubt there's anything you could say or do that Meghan hasn't already tried.  You should have seen the place on Valentine's Day.  Red roses everywhere.  She must have been saving up her allowance for weeks."

Greta said nothing.  She didn't think Brady would appreciate knowing that Meghan had been working with a co-conspirator.  Especially as the whole plan had backfired.  Meghan had suffered a severe allergy attack from all the pollen and had to be rushed to the hospital, killing any chance for a romantic evening for Brady and Chloe.  "Well, I'd better be going then.  Bye, Brady."

"Bye, Greta," Brady returned as he saw her out.  He watched her go, feeling that growing sense of discontent.  He had meant every word he said to Greta.  These past few months had been heaven, even with Chloe's occasional bouts of depression.  Those had been coming less and less often though lately.  She hadn't had one all month actually.  She was getting decidedly better.  She could hear Philip's name now without cringing or bursting into tears.  Just the other night, they had actually had a rational conversation about him where Chloe had admitted that she was starting to accept the fact that Philip's death wasn't her fault.

With such positive signs, Brady should have been on cloud nine.  But he wasn't.  And much as he hated to admit it, he knew why.  He wanted more.  In the beginning, it had been enough just to have her there, just to be able to see her beloved face every morning and hear her beautiful voice every night.  He had been able to take care of her, to help her through, to make her smile.  He had told himself that it was enough; and at first, he had believed himself.  But not anymore.  Brady tried his damnedest to push his hopes and dreams of more aside, knowing there was no point to them.  He had to forget about them.  He had made his bed when he had promised her a refuge.  And now he had to sleep in it.  Alone.

~~*~~

Belle studied her friend's face with concern.  She had long ago gotten over her anger and doubts about Chloe and joined the growing camp of people who were anxiously awaiting the day when Brady and Chloe would finally get together.  Even Mimi had asked about them the other day.  Dr. Wesley and Marlena had actually started a secret pool to name the day they announced they were an item.  Belle's day was fast approaching.

"Isn't this a beautiful day?" she began innocently, looking around the park and watching Meghan, JT, and Isaac play.  "You know what it reminds me of?  That day in high school when the four of us came here on a picnic.  Do you remember that day, Chloe?  It was early spring just like now, and Shawn and I—"

"Oh, why don't you just come out and say it?" Chloe snapped, interrupting Belle's exasperatingly long way of getting to the point.  "It was the first day Brady and I said 'I love you' to each other.  You know damn well I haven't forgotten."

Belle forced back her laughter at Chloe's highly volatile reaction.  She didn't think it was exactly the best way into Chloe's confidence.  "Sorry," she said meekly.  "I was just suddenly reminded."

"No, you weren't," Chloe returned curtly.  "You were just trying to take the backdoor in.  So why don't you just ask me what you want to ask me and get it over with already?"  She was tired of all the games people were playing, all the ways they skirted around the issue.  It only aggravated her growing impatience with the situation.

"What's going on with you and Brady?" Belle blurted out, all attempts at tact forgotten.  "I mean, I know it's not exactly my business.  But he's my brother, and you're my best friend, so you've got to admit I at least have the right to be curious."  She smiled sweetly, confident in her abilities to worm her way into even the hardest of hearts.  "Besides, I've got to know whether or not I should be telling the little one about his Aunt Chloe or just plain Chloe Lane."

Chloe rolled her eyes at Belle's blatant attempt at manipulation.  "Belle, you're all of four months pregnant.  I really don't think what you call me is going to be an issue for a long time.  You've just got Shawn so wrapped around your little finger now that he's going to be a daddy that you think you can use the same bribery with everyone else," she teased.  She really had every intention of telling Belle the truth of the matter—boring as it was—but she'd make her suffer a little more first.  It made it so much more entertaining.

"Oh, please, Chloe," Belle whined, resorting to abject begging in the face of Chloe's first denial.  She yanked on her friend's arm childishly and pouted her baby lips.  "Come on.  You know I live vicariously through the lives of others.  You've just got to tell me."

Chloe sighed, finally relenting.  "Oh, all right.  If you must know…"  She paused dramatically, enjoying the look of anticipation in Belle's bright blue eyes.  "Nothing.  There's nothing going on between us."

Belle groaned in frustration, pulling away, her shoulders slumping.  "I go to all that trouble and this is what you give me?  'Nothing.'  You're living together, Chloe.  You're raising a child together.  I wouldn't exactly call that nothing."

Chloe continued to watch Meghan play with the younger boys.  Meghan laughed suddenly, the sweet sound causing Chloe to smile softly.  It was moments like these that were doing more than anything to heal her heart.  Belle was right.  It wasn't nothing.  It was everything.  She had the family she'd spent her whole life dreaming of. 

When she'd first come to live with Brady, he had been her crying shoulder.  He had been there every time she had broken down, and that had been often.  But then time—and therapy—had started doing its job.  She started coping better, started being able to find joy in the daily presence of Meghan and Brady.  Now, she felt whole again somehow.  Philip's memory seized to haunt her.  She finally had come to understand that Philip was accountable for his own actions, just as she was accountable for hers.  She certainly wasn't proud of all the things she had done, but she had reached a place of acceptance.

"I don't know what to say, Belle," Chloe admitted finally.  "We're at a good place right now.  It's…comfortable.  Meghan's happy.  Brady's happy.  Miracle of miracles, I'm happy.  Why should we jeopardize what we have now?"

Belle rolled her eyes.  "Hmmm.  Let me think," she said with fake thoughtfulness.  "Oh yeah, because you love each other!  Chloe, I know you've been through a lot.  So has Brady.  But can you honestly tell me that you want to spend the rest of your life as Brady's friend?  Can you look me in the eye and say that there isn't part of you that wants more?"

Chloe exhaled in defeat.  Belle was going to pry it out of her no matter how long it took.  "There's a big part of me that wants more, okay?  And it's growing larger by the day.  I look at him sometimes, Belle, and I forget to breathe.  I see him kidding around with Meghan or tucking her in at night, and I know I'll never love anyone the way I love him.  Every time he touches me—even if it's no more than a brush of the hand—my pulse goes through the roof.  He makes me weak, Belle.  He always has, and he always will."  By the time she finished her confession, her face was bright red.  It was the truth, but a truth she'd been keeping inside for so long that it sounded strange even to her own ears.

Belle smiled.  Now they were getting somewhere.  "So what's the problem, Chloe?  You love him.  I know he loves you.  Why don't you do something about it?"

Chloe shook her head dejectedly.  "Don't you think I want to, Belle?  I've waited so long to be with Brady.  I wanted to feel like I was complete in myself before I reunited with my soulmate.  And now, I finally do.  But I don't think Brady realizes it.  He treats me like a friend; and while I'm grateful that he respects me so much, I don't know what to do to make it clear to him that I still love him, that I'm ready to commit myself to him for the rest of my life."

Belle laughed, blue eyes twinkling with delight.  "Chloe, my brother is crazy, desperately, head-over-heels in love with you and always has been.  And as wonderful as that is, it makes him kind of an idiot where you're concerned.  He'd do anything, deprive himself of everything, before he'd risk pushing you away.  So spell it out for him.  Let him know exactly where you stand.  Believe me, he won't disappoint you."

Chloe bit her lip as she considered Belle's advice.  Could she really put herself forward that way?  Could she really take the risk of messing up their blissful lives, even for the chance of an unbelievable lifetime of love with Brady?  It would mean holding her heart out to him to accept or shatter as he chose.  She didn't really doubt his love for her.  He had proved it again and again over the years.  But she still feared her own inadequacy.  She feared she would do something to screw it up like she always did.

But then again, this could be the time for her to make it all right.  Brady had done everything for her, and yet he had been rejected by her time and time again.  It wasn't fair of her to expect him to make that leap of faith again.  It was her turn.  Her turn to risk it all.

~~*~~

"Evening, ladies," Brady greeted his family as he entered the penthouse apartment that night and found them seated at Meghan's piano.

Two smiling faces instantly turned towards him in welcome.  "Hey, Brady," Meghan said brightly as he dropped his jacket and briefcase and came to give her a hug hello.  Chloe smiled nervously at him, getting those awful butterflies in her stomach again.  She always seemed to when he entered the room lately.  She knew it was in expectation of something yet to come, something she was both dreading and longing for.

Brady pulled away from Meghan and grinned at Chloe.  "Hey, Diva."  He winked flirtatiously at her, pleasantly surprised when she blushed.  Maybe she was starting to feel it too, the return of that old love and desire.  He pushed the thought away.  There was no use even considering the possibilities.  He had made Chloe a promise, and he intended to keep it.  "So, what are you two up to?" he asked, surveying the sheet music and CDs scattered haphazardly around them.

"Working on the song list for the next benefit concert," Chloe commented, turning her attention back to the stack of papers in her hand in an effort to avoid having to look at Brady anymore.  Thinking became impossible when she was confronted with those eyes of immeasurable depth. 

"Oh really?  Come up with any good ideas yet?" he asked with unfeigned interest.  Chloe loved that about him.  He was concerned about everything in her life.  He rarely liked to talk about work the way Philip had.  Instead, family conversations revolved around Meghan and Chloe's activities.  He seemed to encourage them in everything they did.

"Chloe wants to do a Rodgers and Hammerstein theme," Meghan said, her excitement practically bubbling out of her.  "You know, like 'Getting to Know You' and 'Whistle a Happy Tune' from The King and I.  And practically every song from The Sound of Music.  We might end up doing a medley of those since there are so many.  And 'Dites-Moi' from South Pacific and stuff from Oklahoma and Carousel and everything.  It's going to be so awesome!"

Brady grinned.  "I'm sure it will be, Meghan.  I've always been a huge fan of theirs, at any rate."  He shot Chloe a look to see if she remembered too.  If the color creeping into her cheeks was any indication, she did.  "So how long have you been at this?"

Chloe glanced at her watch, her eyes immediately flying open.  "It's seven o'clock!" she exclaimed.  "I can't believe I let time get away from me like this.  What are we going to do for dinner?"  She started to jump up. 

Brady gently grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back down.  "Relax, Chloe.  I'll make something.  You girls keep working.  How does spaghetti sound?"

"Not as good as pizza," Meghan hinted broadly, flashing him her most adorable smile.  "Please, Brady?  It's Friday.  Can't we have pizza tonight?  Puh-leeze?"

Brady laughed at her unnecessary begging.  "Fine by me.  Diva?"  Chloe nodded, smiling as Meghan indulged in a small happy dance.  "What kind would you like?"  They figured out an order that would satisfy all of them, and Brady placed the call.  

In no time at all, the pizza arrived, and the three of them—Brady had joined in the task—left the piano, their song list almost complete.  "So how was school today, Meghan?" Brady asked.

Meghan rolled her eyes, swallowing down a bite of steaming hot cheese pizza.  "Fine, I guess.  We had a math test.  Yuck.  Oh, tryouts for soccer are next week.  Can I go?"

Brady and Chloe interchanged looks, communicating in the silent parental language they had already learned.  Chloe nodded.  "Sure, honey," Brady gave their joint permission.  "Just get the details for us, and one of us will get you there.  Any homework?"

Meghan nodded.  "Yeah, but it's fun.  I have to write a paragraph about something I want, and why I want it."  She smiled inwardly, already picturing what their reactions would be when they heard her topic.

"Do you know what you're going to write about, sweetheart?" Chloe asked.  She already knew that Meghan wouldn't have an ordinary wish, like a new video game or a trip to Disneyland.  Meghan was not your average child, and she never failed to surprise them.

Meghan nodded again, doing her best to fight back the sudden urge to giggle.  "Yes, but I'm not going to tell you until it's written.  Then, I'll read the whole thing to you."

Brady eyed his daughter warily.  He knew that look on her face.  She was undoubtedly up to something, and he doubted he would be pleased with the results.  Still, he couldn't help but smile.  He didn't know what he would do without the little imp.  She already owned his heart completely.  He looked across the table to his other priceless angel.  "What about you, Chloe?  How did your classes go?"

Chloe beamed.  "Great.  I got an A on that test in music appreciation."  She still hadn't gotten over the thrill of being back in school.  She was only enrolled in a few classes in order to work around her therapy sessions, her volunteer work at the Children's Center, and Meghan's school schedule; but she found an amazing sense of accomplishment from them.  So Salem University wasn't Julliard.  So she probably would never open at the Metropolitan.  But she was going to become a music teacher; and maybe someday, if she was lucky, she would have the satisfaction of seeing one of her students in that hallowed place.

"Was there any doubt you wouldn't?" Brady teased.  He was even prouder of her than she was of herself.  She had made the decision to go back to school all on her own.  This was something she was determined to do for her own feeling of worthiness.  She paid for it out of the inheritance she had received from Philip's will.  Everything beyond the cost of her education she had given to one of Greta's charities.

And rather than selling the Kiriakis mansion, she had ordered it demolished, her reasoning being that nothing good could ever come out of that house of evil.  But something good had come out of the land it stood on.  Chloe had deed the property over to University Hospital for the construction of a home for the mentally ill.  Thanks to large donations from Basic Black, the project was already under construction.

Chloe laughed.  "I don't know.  But I still love seeing those nice red A's at the top of my papers.  Of course, now she's assigned us a huge report that's due next class, so I'm going to be working non-stop all weekend."

"Well then, Meghan, it looks like you'll have some company while you work," Brady said lightly.  "Why don't you both get to work after dinner?"

"Yes, Father," Chloe said in a syrupy sweet voice while she rolled her eyes at Meghan.  Meghan giggled.  But surprisingly, they both obeyed him.  Immediately after dinner, Meghan got a notebook and pencil and went to work.  Brady and Chloe both gaped at her in surprise.  Meghan never did her homework without at least an hour of procrastination and excuses. 

Shrugging, Chloe followed her example, sitting down at the computer to begin her research.  Brady smiled, surveying the quiet hominess of the scene before he too went to work.  Only his was clean up.  He did the dishes and tided up the music and CDs, being careful to work as quietly and unobtrusively as possible.  But Chloe couldn't help watching him.  How in the world had she gotten so lucky?  Brady did things like this without drawing attention to it in any way.  And he did it often, almost making her take it for granted.  Almost.

"Okay, I'm done," Meghan announced triumphantly, holding up a sheet of notebook paper and waving it dramatically in the air.  "Are you two ready to hear it?"

"Always," Brady said with a grin as he sank onto the couch.  Chloe left her computer screen to sit beside him, giving Meghan exactly the audience and the setting she wanted.  "We're listening."

Meghan cleared her throat before standing and facing them, her face buried behind the paper.  She wanted them to hear this, but she wasn't sure she wanted to see their faces while they did.  "Please hold all comments until after I have finished reading."  Brady and Chloe exchanged fond smiles.  Leave it to Meghan to find the drama in any situation.

"The thing I want most in the world is for Brady, my adopted father, to marry Chloe Lane," Meghan read.  She went on quickly, ignoring the sputtered gasps from the adults on the couch.  "Chloe lives with us and helps take care of me, like a mom; but she's not.  Having Chloe as my mom is only one very small reason why I want them to get married.  The main reason is because they love each other and always have, and I love them and want them to be happy.  They have been apart for years because of some very bad stuff another man did to them, but they still love each other.  I know.  I see it every time my dad looks at her.  I hear it in the way she says his name.  So my wish is for them to be together forever.  Why?  Because they love each other, and they both deserve to be as happy as they have made me."

There was dead silence for a moment after Meghan finished reading.  Gathering her courage, she lowered the paper to judge their reactions.  Brady was simply staring at her, stunned speechless and afraid to look over at Chloe and see her expression.  Chloe was watching Meghan fondly, torn between amusement and embarrassment.  "So what do you think?" Meghan asked nervously, breaking the tense silence.

"Well, it…it was well-written, sweetheart," Chloe stammered, studiously keeping her eyes averted from Brady's.  "But it might be a little…personal for this assignment.  I'll tell you what.  Why don't you go brush you teeth and get ready for bed?  We'll talk about this then, okay?  Brady and I need to talk about it together first."

Meghan nodded, biting her lip as she turned to face her still-silent father.  "Brady?" she asked timidly.  "Are you mad at me?"

Brady finally managed to pull himself out of it.  When he saw her worried expression, he forced a smile.  "No, Imp, I'm not mad.  Now, listen to your mo—Chloe."  Meghan's face lit up at his slip of the tongue while Chloe flushed with embarrassed pleasure. 

"Yes, Brady," Meghan said obediently, her eyes sparkling with mischief.  She knew this would work.  "Yes, my mo—Chloe."  With one more incorrigible grin at both of them, she wisely removed her presence.  

The silence reigned again as soon as she had gone, and Chloe was beginning to regret sending her away when Brady turned to her and made it all better by smiling and saying, "She'll never learn, will she?"

Chloe laughed, feeling the tension dissipate.  "No, I don't think she will.  And you do have to give her points for inventiveness.  We're lucky she's not a twin, or we'd be in the middle of The Parent Trap in no time."

Brady's rich laughter filled the room, making Chloe feel warmth surge through her.  Personally, she agreed with everything Meghan had said.  She just didn't have the courage to say it.  "So do you want to talk to her about it or should I?" she asked with a returning sobriety.

"I'll do it," Brady said firmly.  "As adorable as she is, she has to know that this behavior can't continue.  I'll explain the situation to her.  Again.  And this time, we'll hope she listens."

Chloe nodded, though inwardly she regretted that Meghan's plan had gotten no results.  Of course, it was in her power to change that.  He was sitting right across from her.  All she had to do was tell him she was ready.  Her heart began to pound at the thought.  This could all be settled now.  Tonight.  Taking a deep breath, she summoned all her courage.  "Brady, I—"

The door to the bathroom swung open, and Meghan bounced out.  "Okay, I'm ready," she declared.  "Let's talk."

Brady cast a curious glance at Chloe.  What had she been about to say?  Chloe just shook her head, indicating he should go to Meghan.  Sighing, he reluctantly got up and approached his freshly-scrubbed, pajama-clad daughter.  "Come on, Meghan," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder and leading her to her room.  "It's time we had a little discussion about the difference between parents and children."

Chloe watched them go, feeling mingled disappointment and relief that Meghan had stopped her from admitting the truth to Brady.  She knew her words would have been inadequate.  How could she possibly tell Brady how much he meant to her?  There weren't enough words in the world.  She went to her room, deciding to take a break from her paper for a few minutes.  She wouldn't be able to concentrate until she got this sorted out anyway.

She flopped down on her bed, passing over scenario after scenario for way to pour out her heart to Brady.  Nothing seemed right.  Nothing…until…Chloe smiled slightly, reaching for the phone and pressing one of the speed dial buttons.  "Hello, Greta.  It's me.  Listen, could you do me a favor?..."