A/N: Chapter 26 as threatened. I really like this chapter… I kinda took a break halfway through, that's probably why the second half delves into insanity. But, haha, more fun for meee! Everyone give a warm welcome to our good friend, Principal Snyder.

To Anon: Glad you liked it! Hope you like this one. I always keep a weedwhacker by my bed for that purpose—chainsaws don't make as fun noises. Shirtless Edward=pure, flabby fail. But Angel and Spike pwn.

Random comment- umm… everytime I misspell a word, my spelling suggestion is Metempsychosis. Depending on how badly I misspell a word, there are also variations of that, including Metempsychoses, Metempsychoses', and Metempsychosis'. There is a vast collection of combinations of these which I assume are designed to let me know how badly I failed. Has anyone else had this problem or am I LOSING MY MIND?

EDIT: I originally typed this chapter with the help of strikethroughs, but as it turns out they don't show up. So I have replaced the strikethroughs with I MEAN. Wish I could have used it bu *shrugs* you kinda get what you get.

YOU HAVE BEEN EXPELLED!

Edward and Bella spun in slow circles to the music, his hand on her waist and hers on his shoulder. They looked hungrily into eachother's eyes. It was the prom, and Bella had never felt so in tune with her partner. She wanted for them to stay this way forever. But just as she thought this, Edward pulled away.

"Bella, I must tell you something."

She felt her heart plummet in fear. "What is it, my dearest?"

"I'm moving to a city called Sunnydale."

The horror! She felt she might die. "What, when? Why? It's not me, is it? Of course it's not me…"

His face was grave, the sneer for once absent. "It is everything about you. My presence endangers you, and I cannot let that happen. I hope you can manage to save yourself from the rapists and the cracks in the concrete you so often trip over."

"But… when?"

His face suddenly lit up. "Right now! BYE BYE!" he said, and darted away, sniggering.

Bella felt her heart had been ripped in two. She fell gracefully I MEAN clumsily, but with strange gracefulness, to the glossy gym floor and sobbed.

The next day, Principal Snyder was walking I MEAN striding through the teeming halls of Sunnydale, plotting. What was he plotting? Generally his plan for world domination/destruction as usual, but a major thing on his mind was how to get rid of that Buffy girl for good. He knew she was the slayer, he could get her about something like that, maybe…

He was lost in thought, and did not see the fluffy haired pretty boy vampire speeding through the halls utilizing his skillz. Well, he did not see him until he crashed into him, spilling the principal's coffee all down his shirt. The vampire did not notice and kept going.

Great, thought Snyder, now I have to plot his expulsion too. So he walked I MEAN strode back into his office to look at some paperwork. After a while, he found Edward's despicable creature I MEAN student interest survey that all despicable creatures I MEAN students had to take before transferring. He read through it, and a smile broke across his face…

Edward Cullen did not know what to expect as he entered the principal's office. He expected that the man wanted to lick his boots welcome him to the school like everybody else.

"Hello Edward Cullen, I am your principal. Please sit down."

The Cullen was thrown off by the brusque greeting, but decided to grace the poor man with his presence. He pitied him, what with his lack of sparkles I MEAN balding head and coffee all down his shirt.

"First of all, are you aware that you spilled coffee on my shirt?"

Edward smiled. "Oh you're welcome- Uh, I mean, sorry."

"That's okay. Now, on your student interest survey you said that you were a vampire." Principal Snyder said in his Principal Snyder voice.

"Yeah. I didn't want to hide anymore."

Now Snyder smiles. "Yes, it must be very tiring deleting all your records."

"Yes, yes, that takes forever, hacking into computer databases and-" He stopped short, because Snyder had picked up a stapler and stabled his arm to the chair. "Ow!" Snyder stapled his other arm and other body parts too.

"That's not very nice! Did you really have to staple Edward Junior to the chair too?"

"You named your…?"

"Yeah… and Junior's mad at you now."

"Oh, I'm terrified. This may hurt, by the way." Principal Snyder picked up a ruler and adjusted his grip. "You have been expelled!" (that was his catchphrase for moments like this) And he took the ruler and jammed it into Edward's heart. He hadn't expected the jamming, he had always imagined it as more of a plunging motion. He had never stabbed anyone with a ruler, see. His weapon of choice was usually a pineapple, or maybe a garden gnome—those were always fun. But he had thought that the ruler would be more like a knife than either of those.

The ruler was slippery with blood before he finally reached the heart and Edward Cullen melted into sparkly dust. That was new. The great thing about killing vampires was that all their bodily evidence went with them. So no messy cleanups like with the despicable creatures I MEAN students. They screamed like little girls, unfortunately, but nothing soundproof walls couldn't fix. He snapped himself out of the reverie and called Buffy Summers to his office.

When Buffy walked into his office, she knew exactly what to expect. Unlike Edward, she had a good sense of anticipation. And she had been anticipating.

"Why hello Buffy, please don't bother sitting down, this won't take too long."

Buffy looked at the seat. It had lots of staples that outlined a figure almost human. The worn leather was completely covered in sparkles, and there was a large ruler sticking out of exactly where the heart would have been.

"Having fun?" she asked drily.

"Yes, In fact I am, thank you for asking. Buffy Su-"

"You know this office is right up against the girl's bathroom?"

"Yes, I do, thank you. Now-"

"There is this certain spot in the handicapped stall where you forgot to install soundproofing."

"Um… I guess I will fix that," he said, thrown by this comment. It was impossible to have left out the soundproofing… except for… ah.

"Please do."

"Buffy Summers, I know that you are the Slayer-"

"And I've read your diary-"

"you have ki-"

"Water balloons won't help you in your quest to take over the world-"

"-lled a fellow student-"

"-and world domination will never make Justin Beiber love you-"

"SHUT UP! I am trying to deliver my catchphrase!" he shouted. Buffy shut up and smirked at him.

"Buffy summers, you have been EXPELLED! MWEEHEEHEEE!"

A couple minutes ticked by, and Buffy said nothing. Then:

"Well, that took you long enough."

Snyder was, once again, perplexed. "Huh?"

"I was only staying in school because I didn't want to lose The Bet!"

"What bet?"

"SO LONG, SUCKAS, I'M FREEEE!" Her voice echoed down the hallway and several doors slammed. She took off cackling loudly, and even more doors slammed.

A/N2: Yays! I'm happy with myself, I finished earlier. The Mweeheehee is something of an inside joke with me, Gerby, and our good friend M. And of course theworldwaitsforNobody, who actually said it.

Nobody: I should be evil. I have the evil laugh (MWAHAHA!) the evil giggle (MWEEHEEHEE!) and even the evil sneeze. (MWACHOO!)

Yeah, we know each other from like… school.

Anyway, next chappie on Sun. beware, it may be a little short because of previous plans.

C YALL!