A/N: 27/28 Weeks Pregnant
Their last day in District 7 is cut short due to the announcement of another attack, this one in District 1. Benny seems to be completely distracted by this announcement and Gale can't seem to figure out why. Benny doesn't have family there, Gale's not even sure Benny's ever been there unless it was for a work related matter. No other attack has stressed him out as much as he looks stressed out now.
Delta calls them back in to HQ and they're forced to pack quickly. Johanna drives them to the hovercraft port in a sort of heavy silence after a boatload of hugs from everyone and Annie telling Madge multiple times to call her if she ever has any questions ("Or just in general, because I like to talk."). Even once they say goodbye, thank Johanna for hosting them, and climb onto the hovercraft, Benny still seems distracted. Thankfully Madge notices it too. She leans toward him, reaching out.
"Are you okay?" she asks Benny, her voice unsure and curious. "Is there someone in 1 that you're worried about?"
"Sorry," Benny says, shaking his head. "No. I'm fine." Madge's eyes flicker in Gale's direction as though looking for quiet confirmation that Benny's acting weird. Gale shrugs one of his shoulders. "Sometimes I forget, is all," Benny says. "That there're terrorists out there."
"We'll get them," Gale tells him, and Benny nods.
The rest of the ride is mostly silent thought. Thankfully the trip from 7 to 2 is short, especially via hovercraft. Gale helps Madge with her bags, still shooting her questioning looks as though they can figure out why Benny's acting strange. But she looks just as lost as he does. They climb from the hovercraft and start off for where Gale parked his car.
"I'll just drop Madge off at—home? You want to go home? Or into your office?"
"We're closed on Sundays," Madge tells him. "Home works."
"Alright." Gale turns back to Benny. "I'll drop Madge off at home and meet you at work, yeah?" Before Benny can answer Gale a car zooms up to the three of them with a screech. Out of instinct Gale steps in front of Madge, his arm coming out by her chest to block her from getting any closer. But then Sal pops out of the car with a sheepish smile and Gale lowers his arm. Gale shoots Benny a look, and then looks back to Madge. "Sal?" he asks, turning to the man at the car.
"Get in," he says to the three of them.
Benny doesn't hesitate, climbing into the passenger seat at once. "My car's just over there," Gale says.
"Get in," Sal says again, a little more force to his voice. Again Gale looks at Madge, and again she looks just as lost as he does. But she starts for the car and Gale follows after her. Confusion is rolling through Gale in waves, wondering why Sal could possibly be here. After buckling their seatbelts Sal speeds away from the hovercraft port. Gale spots his car through the window with a frown.
"What the hell is going on?" Gale asks, his voice tighter than he expects it to be. All at once a feeling he doesn't like has washed over him. He doesn't like not knowing things. "Why is Sal here?" he asks, his question directed to Benny. Madge must notice the hitch of panic in his voice because she reaches out for his hand, lacing their fingers together quickly and squeezing. Again he looks to her, still finding her just as confused. "Benny," Gale snaps.
"Just give us a minute," Sal says dismissively. They parking lot fades behind them and they turn onto the road, taking a direction away from HQ, away from Gale's apartment. There's a lump in his throat. Something is wrong. Something is wrong and Sal and Benny know what it is. Gale's mind jumps to the darkest thought without any warning, that the two of them are in on this shit show of terrorism, that they're double agents. He feels like he's going to be sick. But in the rearview mirror he sees that both Benny and Sal look… worried. Stressed. Not malicious. Gale reminds himself to breathe, and so does Madge as she squeezes his hand another time. "Almost there."
"Almost where?" Madge asked, and Gale's relieved to hear that there's no panic in her voice. She's calm, despite her wide eyes.
Sal holds up his hand as to say just a minute again and Gale lets out a short breath.
Finally they're in a parking lot outside of an abandoned factory. Sal reaches for something on the dashboard, a switch it looks like, and flicks it. And then he kills the engine. He turns around to face the two in the back and Gale feels his heart racing. "Madge," Sal says.
"Sal," she echoes, looking confused.
"Remember when I came to Gale's apartment a few weeks ago?" he asks. Madge nods. "And you fell asleep?"
Madge nods again. "Yes," she says. "Why?"
"You let me use your tablet before you fell asleep," Sal says. "Remember?" Again, she nods. Sal takes a quick glance at Benny who nods once, and then looks back at the two sitting close. "I don't actually work as part of an agricultural program," he says. "I work for Paylor. In Intelligence."
Gale startles at this information. The knots in his stomach seem to dissolve at once. "You're Security and Defense?" he asks.
"In a way, but not the same as what you two work with," Sal tells him. "I have mostly free range but lately Paylor's been asking our unit to get our claws into Security and Defense. It was a secret operation because we think someone in your branch is corrupted." Gale feels his face fall slack. That's impossible. Everyone who works for Security and Defense is highly trained, goes through rigorous tests to get to where they are. "But it could be someone at POP," he adds, looking to Madge.
Sal says POP the same way Madge does, pronouncing every letter.
"I don't—I'm confused," Madge admits. "What does this have to do with my tablet?"
"I installed a program while I was there," Sal says. "It changed all of the information you had about your trip to District 7 and instead listed it as District 1. The only person who still saw the original work was you." Madge's face lights up with recognition. She sees where this is going, and so does Gale. "So someone else who has access to your files, POP or S&D, is working with the terrorists."
Madge shakes her head at once. "It can't be anyone at POP," Madge says. "The only people who have access to the same files as me are my three bosses, and I get notifications when they check in. And all of them are saints!"
"Well I could say the same thing about Security," Gale murmurs. He doesn't even know who he'd begin to suspect. But still, Madge is shaking her head. "Could someone have hacked in?" Gale asks. "From outside of either of the programs?"
"It's highly unlikely," Benny chimes in. "There would've been some sort of trigger set off and we would've known."
"Wait a minute," Madge stops them. "Are we—are we the only ones that know about this?" Madge asks. Sal hesitates. "That's why you've kidnapped us, because we're the only ones who know."
"We didn't kidnap—"
"No," Madge cuts him off sharply. Her voice is shaking. Her voice is finally shaking. The calmness she had just a moment ago has disappeared completely. "No," she says again. "I didn't—I didn't sign up for this!" And again, at once, Gale understands. The four people in this car are some of the only people to know that there's a mole. His heart plummets into his chest. "I'm not hunting down a terrorist organization, Sal! Absolutely not!"
Benny jumps in at once, "We're not asking you to."
"Benny," Gale murmurs, also shaking his head. He feels like he's in pain. Too many thoughts are running through his head. "You can't do this me," he nearly croaks. Madge is squeezing his hand so tightly it's the only thing keeping him grounded. Benny's eyes flicker over to Gale, and then back to Sal. "Please."
"It's not—we're not hunting anyone down," Benny tries again. "Paylor knows, and select units and people know—that's how they caught the group in 1 so fast. But outside of the people in this car, when it comes to our programs…"
"We just want you both to keep an eye out," Sal tells them. "For anything suspicious. That's all, we swear. It's just better to have more eyes open." Gale sighs, forcing his gaze outside. "I wish we could've warned you both but until we were sure…" Gale feels like he's going to be sick.
He yanks his hand from Madge's and jerks the door handle open before stumbling outside, listening to the calls from Madge that ring out for him. He doesn't go far. He just shuts the door and rests against the side of the car, breathing in and out slowly. The air is chilly today, it's refreshing. He isn't sure how long he's standing there, breathing in and out, before the door opens again and out climbs Benny. Gale shoots him one look before shaking his head another time and clenching his teeth to keep from saying anything.
"Gale," he starts, but Gale stops him at once.
"I can't believe you'd do this to me," he rasps. "You know I want as little as possible to do with those people. You know that!"
"This is different," Benny insists. There's a sadness and a desperation to his voice so strong that it causes Gale to pause. "You know I'd never ask you to be directly involved in this, Gale. And I'm not. Neither is Sal—that's not what we want."
"Then what do you want?"
"Like Sal said," Benny says. "Just to keep an eye out. Let us know if you see anything. We're this much closer. And you don't have to be involved in the actual process of it. We're not asking you to go into the field." Gale wants to say something else but he can't. God, he feels like he's going to be sick. But Benny notices the hesitation. "What is it?"
"You're with Intelligence too," Gale says. "Aren't you?" Benny doesn't respond. "You've been with Intelligence this whole time." Gale steps away from Benny before whipping back around to face him with guilt on his face. "I don't even know what to say to you," Gale rasps, extending his hand to point at him. "You lied to me?"
"It's different," Benny tries, but Gale shakes his head. This was a lie. This was a lie. "Nothing I've done has been a lie! I just have a different unit to report back to sometimes!"
The question comes so swiftly Gale's surprised he even gets it out. "Are you reporting on me?" Gale asks.
Benny freezes. His eyebrows come together. "Excuse me?"
"Are you sending Paylor updates about me?" Gale asks again.
"How could you even think that I would do that?" Benny tosses back, anger creeping into his voice. "I didn't tell you I'm in Intelligence because I wasn't allowed—but Jesus Gale are you fucking serious? You think—after everything we've been through! You think I would do that to you?"
Gale's voice is thick. "I need you to say it."
Benny stares at him for a long moment before standing up, squaring his shoulders. "I'm not reporting on you," he says clearly. That anger is still there. That disbelief that Gale would even assume. "And if someone is, I wouldn't know about it." Gale lets out a shuddering breath before turning his back on his friend again. He commands himself to swallow. To breathe. To think for a minute. "We have to get to HQ," Benny finally says after some time. Gale lets out another breath. "I didn't like keeping that from you, Gale. You're my partner."
"You're my best friend," Gale forces out, turning back to look at him.
Benny's entire face is contorted with sadness. "And you're mine," he finally says back. Finally Benny looks away, his eyes to the ground. "We have to go," he says again, and Gale nods.
It takes a minute but soon he's back in the car, sitting next to Madge who's asking so many questions with her eyes. "So we're all good here?" Sal asks as he starts the engine.
Madge reaches out for Gale but he leans away from her. "I'm not making any promises," Gale grunts. "But I'll keep my eyes open."
After dropping Madge off at their apartment Gale has to head back to HQ. There are knots of anxiety in his shoulders, every move he makes feels wrong. Someone here is one of them , he thinks, his eyes constantly scanning. Someone here is dangerous. But thankfully the morning moves fast and then Delta sends them all home after a short debriefing.
"A total of ten subjects have been apprehended from District 1," she says to them. "Most of them are middle aged but there were two teenagers. They're being moved to an interrogation facility soon."
Interrogation facility. Gale knows what that means, and he wants no part of it.
When he's allowed to leave he does so quickly, without even a goodbye to Benny. It's too hard for him to swallow and his brain feels heavy, like his thoughts way too much. When Gale gets back to the apartment he finds Madge sitting on the couch with her tablet in her hands, scanning the District 7 notes with puckered lips.
He just watches her for a moment.
She knows he's there. Her eyes flickered over to him briefly when he first entered and she offered him a quick smile, but she went right back to work. God, sometimes he can't believe that she's real. Madge is everything he's not. Calm, beautiful inside and out, just a light in general. What he wouldn't give to pull her to him. What Gale wouldn't give to kiss her, a kiss just for them instead of for someone else. What he wouldn't give to love her. The way she deserves to be loved.
She deserves so much better than him.
"You just gonna stare at me all day?" Madge asks suddenly, pulling him from his thoughts. He sighs and debates internally for a moment before crossing the living room and sitting down next to her. "I tried going through the file again," Madge says. "Looking at the access records. But they're all coded and I'm not a code person. I'm going to give it to Sal to look at." Madge sighs too. Gale stretches his arm out around her shoulder and she leans into him. He focuses on her body pressed to his. "I know you don't want to talk about it."
"I don't," Gale confirms.
"But I just—I think that…" she trails off, lowering the tablet and scooting a little closer to him. "If this is what we can do to help, then we owe it to them." She hesitates. "We owe it to Pearl."
Gale clenches his teeth. "I know," Gale forces out. Because he does. He knows that feeding what information they can to Intelligence will help everyone in the long run, will help his child live in a safer tomorrow. "I just don't have that fight in me anymore, Madge." She looked up at him, waiting for him to elaborate. "I'm not…" he starts, and stops, wondering how to word it. "I've done my fighting," Gale says. "Hand to hand stuff, being in the field… it's hard for me." It takes him somewhere dark. Somewhere he doesn't want to be. "So I'll feed them information, if that's what they want, but that's all I can do."
"And that's enough," Madge tells him. She looks away so she can bury herself closer against him. Gale closes his eyes for a brief moment, allowing himself to be selfish. To think he could have a life like this. A life with Madge. A life where there aren't terrorists. A life where he can tease the ends of her hair like he is now without there being repercussions. "Are we mad at them?" she asks softly.
"What?" Gale asks.
"Sal and Benny," Madge says. "Are we mad at them?"
He forces his eyes open so he can look down at her. "We?" he asks.
"We," Madge echoes. "You and me."
He pulls back slightly and she turns to look up at him. "What do you…" he starts, and stops, surprised at the smile that's finding his face. "What do you mean?" he asks.
"Well they're your people," Madge says. "If you're mad at them because they lied to us, I'll be mad at them too. Because they're yours."
Gale lets out a breathy laugh. "You can make your own decision about that, Madge."
But she shakes her head. "They kept something from us, and clearly it upset you." Gale's eyes shift somewhere else, away from the brightness of Madge. "And you're my person. So if you're mad at them, I'll be mad at them too." Gale's breath catches in his throat. You're my person. "So are we mad at them?"
It takes Gale a second to respond. "No." Madge leans back into his arms. He wants this. Moments like this. So many moments like this. His chest feels infinitely tight. "How much did you hear?" he asks, thinking back to the car.
"Bits and pieces," she responds softly. Gale nods. "Why would Paylor want someone to report on you, Gale?" Madge asks. Again, it takes him a second to respond. And before he can even get out a word she asks, "Because of that job before Security and Defense?"
He lets out a shaky breath. "Yeah."
Again they fall quiet. He wonders if she'll push the subject. But instead she says, "Sal took us to that abandoned factory because apparently there are blocks there." Gale resumes toying with the ends of her hair. "Like, static in the air, or something. So people couldn't eavesdrop with wiretaps or something. I think he—I think Sal's pretty high up."
"I wouldn't know," Gale tells her.
After another moment of silence Madge asks, "How dangerous is it? Working for Intelligence?"
Gale shrugs. "About the same as working for Security and Defense," he says. "It depends on the assignment. Why?"
Madge hesitates. "I was thinking. About… about asking them to be Pearl's godparents." Madge peels back then, slightly out of his grasp so she can look up at him. "What do you think?" Gale opens his mouth to respond but no words are coming. He doesn't know. He isn't sure. "But if…" Madge leans back further, a hint of regret crossing her face. "If that's not—if you don't think that's a good idea—"
"No," Gale cuts her off. "No. I mean—yeah, it—I don't—I don't even know if they want kids," Gale says. "But if Intelligence is dangerous, I mean. I don't know. I really don't know." Madge nods, looking down. "Did you—did you have anyone else in mind?" he asks.
"Well, yeah," she says with a little nod. "But I wasn't—I didn't know how you'd feel about it." He makes a sort of gesture as to say go on, and Madge looks back up. "Thom and Delly," she tells him. "I—I don't know how often you talk to Thom but Delly and I write letters. And I don't know if we—you and me—would be staying in 2 or I don't—that's a different conversation. But Thom and Delly are home, and then Pearl would get a chance to be with our parents too, you know?" Gale sits on the idea for a second. "And it's—it's not like I'm expecting anything to happen to us. But they're both—they're both parts of us, I guess, is how I was thinking. And Delly's the kindest person I've ever met, and Thom's always been kind too. And they're—I mean they just moved in together and I feel like they're going to make it, you know? Get married. And—it's just an idea."
Listening to Madge ramble, Gale's entire body feels warm. She's so… she's just everything. Madge is everything. He can't fight the smile on his face.
"Well who do you want?" he asks. "Sal and Benny? Or Thom and Delly?"
Her eyes find his and then a nervous sort of smile takes her face. "I want your advice," she tells him.
"I want whoever'll make you happiest," he returns. The way her eyes lit up take his breath away.
Does she know? How he feels? He wondered, in times like this. With her looking at him as though he was the ocean, impossible and fascinating and endless. And was it possible, he also wondered, that she felt the same? His fingers itched with need but the voice in his head was crying out again. Don't do it. Don't ruin this. He can't give himself to her, not yet. Maybe not ever. But God, Gale wants her.
"I guess we sit on it then," Madge finally says.
What's stopping him? He searches his mind for something, some sort of reason for keeping Madge at an arm's length when it comes to his feelings for her. But it keeps getting harder and harder to find that reason.
"I guess so," Gale murmurs back.
A/N: This chapter was really only two scenes, but two scenes I think are pretty important. I hope I'm accurately portraying the confliction in Gale, how he wants to be with Madge but still isn't sure if he deserves it. Oh Sal and Benny, coming in with their secret missions. Give Gale and Madge a break, dang it!
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