AN: Yeye, I made my deadline. Was hoping to have this done by tonight. I hope its okay. I dont usually do a chapter that is almost pure dialogue so I hope I dont bore you or drag things too far. But as you can see, these two have ALOT to talk about, lol. So hopefully this helps to resolve some things. My only wish is that it leaves you satisfied by the end.
BTW, I couldnt resist making a comment about the fuckery that is Bill and Sookie on True Blood, LOL. WTF was that? Who saw that last scene coming? Is it wrong that seeing Eric with Talbot, makes me want E even more now? Maybe Sookie will have to move over soon, cause she is beating a dead horse with her masochist bf, lol. Anyhow cant wait for next week. I think good things are still in store for ES. ;)
Sorry, dont mean to offend any fans of BS, but Im assuming since you are reading this story that you prefer ES. They are the best of course! :D So now I promise Ill stop rambling. I hope you enjoy this chapter and thanks again to each and every one of you for reading and the reviews! xoxo
Chapter 26- Before Sunrise
SPOV
"Don't look at me like that, if you think for one second this takes the blame off you for what you did in there, think again!"
Eric actually smiled, which threw me off guard and then he flicked the check back at me and got out of the car cursing to himself in Swedish.
"You can't pin this on me Eric!" I proclaimed getting out of the car and chasing after him on the dirt gravel road outside Merlottes and he just glared at me and kept walking, which only made me angrier and then I exclaimed in an attempt to stop him…
"ERIC NORTHMAN look at me when I'm talking to you!"
He spat back angrily…
"So now you're taking money from him too?"
Well it was progress, at least he wasn't still giving me the silent treatment, but that accusatory tone had to go.
"I'm not taking money from him!" I argued.
"Oh yes, that's exactly why a CHECK from him dropped out of your GLOVE COMPARTMENT!"
"Eric don't be so dense!"
"I should have killed that fucker when I had the chance maybe then Id actually have some fucking peace around here!"
"You make your own trouble Eric! You charged Bill down in the bar, in front of everyone, you pulverized him. I saw you, and you started it. You are so lucky Sam didn't call the police just now!"
I think I actually heard him growl. He clenched his fists, looked back at me with a glare and he stepped over to me his huge body hovering over me, face in mine, and he spat back angrily…
"What wont you do for this man? You are so obviously hell bent on giving him every possible consolation after the fucker RAPED YOU! You won't even press charges, he almost sent me to prison for life, your accepting money from him, and you even console him and take a fucking apology letter from him after the fact. Get a fucking clue Sookie!"
Ooh if looks could kill…he made my blood boil. He had some nerve telling me how to act around Bill when he was the one who was stirring up trouble. My fists clenched and then it clicked for me. Wait a minute? How did he know about that apology letter?
My eyes widened in realization and I growled back, "You were spying on me?"
I looked back at him in outrage. Trying to rapidly piece together the puzzle in my head because I couldn't believe he had stooped to that level of distrust in me.
"I wasn't spying, I have better things to do with my time!"
I gasped and felt a heat burn below the surface of my face, and not a good, attracted heat, a who the fuck do you think you are heat, that burned inside me like a churning inferno and I suddenly wondered how was he any better than Bill for what he did?
"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO GET A FUCKING CLUE ERIC!"
I shot him a dark glare and then I spun on my heel and turned back towards the parking lot.
"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING?" He called after me angrily.
"HOME!" I spat back knowing if I stopped now I would be tempted to slug him and I didn't want to stoop to his level.
"You are just going to leave things like this? So unresolved?" He asked.
I rolled my eyes and was in my car in a matter of seconds, I started it up as he approached, and rolled down the window, finally replying…
"Figure the end out for your self, you seem to be good at jumping to conclusions!"
And with that, I hit my gas, kicked up some dirt and sped off leaving him to eat my dust.
Serves him right, I thought trying to keep a lid on the burning anger raging inside me while I was on the road. At the moment I didn't really care if one of those damn wolves actually did attack him.
This was exactly why I didn't think we were ready to move in together. If he wouldn't hear me out or trust me, then how could we survive as a couple?
EPOV
I coughed and waved away the dust cloud that Sookie left in her wake and I cursed again in Swedish. I half wondered if it wouldn't serve me better to get this problem with Bill settled now. Don't get your panties in a bunch, I wasn't going to kill him, as appetizing as that fantasy was at the moment, but we had a problem, and you can bet your eye teeth that I wasn't about to let things just go without some understanding.
I realized however, that I needed to deal with Sookie first. So I rubbed the dirt from my face and followed the road to Sookie's house.
By the time I got there the lights were out. It was my fault for the delay; I had taken a wrong turn somewhere and wound up on the other side of the lake. I half contemplated swimming, but wasn't sure if Sookie would see me and I didn't want to walk around with wet clothes if I was going to be stranded here. I was pretty sure Bon Temps did not have a taxi service. I would be lucky if I could get a room at the local motel at this hour on a Sunday night.
I sighed frustrated and looked up at Sookie's window. Nothing like putting all my eggs in one basket, I thought. Sometimes she really acted like a 12 year old. Seriously? Stranding me in the Merlottes parking lot after I found a check from Bill to her? Yeah she wasn't as innocent as she looked. In fact most hypocrites would laugh at the hilarious example she made of both of us. But I had to put all my anger behind me. We needed to sit down and have a serious talk, and I wasn't going to stop until she listened, which meant I definitely had my work cut out for me.
I stood on the ground for a moment looking at the steep climb remembering the last time I did this when Sookie hurt herself. A dark wave passed over me as I remembered that night and the fear I had felt when I thought I could lose Sookie. I was running on adrenaline then, this time I hoped luck would help me out and my weight wouldn't cause the frail wood siding to shatter and cause me greater injury. But at this point, I didn't have much to lose.
I got on the porch, pulled myself up to the railing, climbed on the bottom part of the roof covering the porch, and then I jumped to the trellis.
I cursed to myself when I felt the wooden structure wobble and knew I had to reach Sookie's window before it fell to the ground. I put my foot on the side of the house to brace myself just incase it fell apart from under me and then, I made the jump to Sookie's window.
Of course knowing my luck, the trellis snapped in two after I took the leap and it fell down to the foliage below me, which left me propped against the house with no foothold. I was wedged in a corner and holding onto Sookie's window ledge with most of my weight.
I tried to pull myself up to get a look inside, and that's when her light turned on. I was sure she must have heard the noise I had just made. I closed my eyes hoping that I hadn't woken up her Grandmother as well, and then as if on cue the windows opened above me.
"Sookie?"
I looked up hoping it was her, and it was, her face a mixed contortion of confusion, sleepiness, anger, and fear.
"Eric! What are you doing?" She gasped and I risked inching my hand up inside the window…
"Can you give me a hand?"
I asked, feeling the heaviness of my weight sink down into my shoes like lead. My grip was slipping.
"Oh for crying out loud." She exclaimed, and shook her head in disbelief.
"I'm not kidding, I wish I was." I replied with clenched jaw as my foot skidded down another inch.
"Okay, give me your hand, but try to be quiet, I don't want to wake my Gran."
I nodded, and gave her my hand. I didn't think someone as small as Sookie could lift me, so I tried to position my body in a manner that would take the most weight off her.
"I can't believe you would climb up to my window, you know normal people just call on the phone or ring the doorbell." She hissed, my forearm in her grip and I replied…
"Would you have answered?"
She snorted lightly and glared at me, shaking her head…
"No you stupid stubborn ass hole."
"Well then that's why." I replied and she just glared at me while pulling hard. I could tell she was putting all her might into it. I was a few inches from being able to hold onto the inside of the window where I could pull myself in, but Sookie was now grabbing my waist. I was about to assure her that I was far enough in now to push on my own when she gave me one last hard tug succeeding in getting me where I needed to be only, I missed my chance to grab hold of the frame and then gravity took over.
Sookie shrieked as she fell back, it all happened so fast, I couldn't stop it and before I knew it, I had landed with a thump on top of her. We both groaned automatically looked at the door to make sure we hadn't woken her grandmother and then as I got my bearings back, I glanced at her to measure the gage of her anger, and realized our noses were just mere centimeters apart. My gaze met hers for a moment as she looked back at me obviously stunned into silence, and I felt that familiar stirring in my loins. We were so close I could feel her warm breath on my skin. I wanted to kiss her so badly at the moment, but I knew we had to talk first.
Yet somehow I couldn't pry myself away as her chest heaved against mine, and the room suddenly felt very hot. I knew then I was in serious trouble.
"Sookie is everything okay?"
We both heard Adele ask from the other side of Sookie's door, like a bucket of cold ice water dumped over our heads. I winced and pushed myself off her as she frantically pulled herself together, sitting up she replied breathless…
"Yes Gran, I'm fine! Thanks for checking!"
Moments later we both heard the footsteps move away.
I knew the spell had been broken when Sookie glared at me, pushed me away and she hissed…
"What do you want Eric?"
"I need to talk to you."
She huffed and shook her head and she replied trying to keep her voice down…
"I think we've talked enough haven't we? I mean what more can say before we start kicking and punching?"
"Sookie, I really need to talk to you." I met her gaze earnestly, resting my elbow on her bed and Sookie shook her head and stood up…
"No…I'm done talking for tonight, if you want to talk we can do it in the morning, but right now I just want to go to bed and be done with this ridiculous day! I can't handle any more disappointment right now!"
I couldn't pretend her words didn't sting, and possibly in a way I had deserved them because I hadn't exactly acted rationally tonight either, but I needed the chance to explain. I wanted to get everything out on the table, no more games.
"Sookie, I came here to talk to you about something important, and I need you to hear me out, and if you are willing, I would like to take you back to my house tonight."
She scoffed and shook her head. I knew this wasn't good and then she walked over to me as I stood up to face her, her watery eyes burning holes into my irises, and she replied sadly…
"I waited all day for tonight, I had been looking forward to spending time with you all week, and then you had to go piss all over it and ruin it. I'm sorry if you can't see it that way, but I do and I'm tired. You can use my car, Ill get you the keys, I'm exhausted and I don't want to fight any more."
"Sookie..." I protested, but before I could say anything she took my hand and pulled me out of her room.
"Just go home Eric!" She hissed.
I shook my head in protest, but she had made up her mind.
Unfortunately I didn't have much of a choice at the moment, I didn't want to make a scene and risk bringing Adele out again. I was contemplating once Sookie handed me her car keys, just heaving her body over my shoulders and making a run for it, whether she continued to protest or not. But I knew her; she couldn't be forced into anything.
I curse myself again; yes I was doing a lot of cursing tonight, because she could be so fucking frustrating sometimes. As we reached the base of the stairs and she dug around in her purse for her car keys and I met her gaze...
"Whether you want to hear me out or not, we have to talk Sookie, Pam's right about..."
But before I could continue my plea, another voice spoke out from the dark.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you two. Eric I didn't hear you come in, would you both care for some tea?"
Adele offered brightly. I noticed Sookie's body had stiffened as we both realized we weren't alone. I certainly wasn't prepared for that wondering how much her grandmother had just heard.
I looked back at Sookie who was shooting daggers at me, but realized I had just been given a window of opportunity here, figuring it was one way to avoid being thrown out. I thanked Adele silently for the invitation, playing along for my own bemusement, and I nodded in acceptance and replied with a polite smile...
"Yes Adele, that would be lovely, thank you."
I dared to sneak a glance back at Sookie to once again gage her anger level, and realized that... Yes, she still definitely wanted to kill me.
Adele smiled sweetly and then took my arm. Sookie had no other choice to follow us.
"So what brings you here at this hour?" Adele asked me handing me a plate of freshly made blueberry scones. They looked like little bites of heaven. I watched Sookie who was biting her lip and I knew I had to tread carefully, for my own personal safety and I replied honestly...
"I was just passing through, I thought I would ask Sookie if she wanted to have a late dinner with me."
"At this hour? You must have been working late!" Adele remarked. I didn't say anything other than…
"I was delayed."
"Yes, and it's such a shame that I already ate." Sookie replied, with mock empathy and she took a bite of one of the scones to ruffle my feathers.
"Well looks like you're still hungry there Sugar plum." Adele countered.
Sookie stopped mid chew and set down the scone and then swallowed what was left trying to get rid of her evidence. I tried to contain my smirk as Sookie explained...
"I can never refuse one of your scones Gran, you know that."
Adele smiled and she replied...
"That's true, but I don't remember seeing you eat anything before you headed upstairs to your room, you know when you've got a bun in the oven you're eating for two."
Sookie looked conflicted and torn. She met my glance for a moment as if she had forgotten the little fact that she was pregnant and then she finally lowered her guard and nodded her head…
"Yes, I suppose you're right."
I wanted to comfort her because I knew how her mind worked, at this very moment her right brain was arguing with her left brain about what her next move should be. I wasn't sure my support would be welcomed right now however, so I changed the subject and asked Adele while she poured the tea…
"So did Jason happen to stop by this afternoon?"
She paused for a moment as if in thought putting her finger on the kettle and then she looked at me and she remarked as if in amazement…
"As a matter of fact he did, and he went straight to work sanding the foyer walls, said he would be back tomorrow to paint."
My lips twitched in satisfaction. She looked back at me in question and I nodded my head proclaiming…
"He had mentioned that he might be dropping by earlier today…If he doesn't get to painting, I would be happy to help."
Adele smirked back at me, and for a moment I wondered if she had suspected anything, but she kept her poker face on and nodded her head…
"You are a sweet boy, I'm sure if your mother was still alive she would be very proud."
My smile faltered because one look at Sookie and I wasn't so sure about that. I wasn't so sure about a lot of things lately, which is why I wanted to talk to her. I took a sip of my tea and glanced back at Sookie once more. She appeared as if she was deep in thought.
"Well after you finish your tea, you best get going, I heard there is going to be a dense fog alert tonight, unless of course you want to stay here?"
Adele asked me brightly.
I forced a smile back at her having a feeling I wouldn't be as welcome as she thought. I was about to give up and replied, with one final glance back at Sookie…
"I appreciate the invitation, but I should get back home."
Adele's smile shrunk just a little but then she nodded her head in acceptance. Just when I thought I would have to surrender my quest for the night and try again later, Sookie finally spoke…
"I think Ill go with him."
Both Adele and I looked at Sookie in question, no scratch that, my reaction was more like shock, and Sookie explained…
"Just to make sure he doesn't get stuck in that fog with my car…if that's okay with you?" She turned to her grandmother and asked to my dismay.
"Of course child, you know I'm just right as rain here, I don't need a babysitter as old as I am. Besides y'all haven't seen each other all week I'm sure you have catchin up to do."
Sookie's cool gaze flashed with mine for a moment before she looked back to her grandmother. For a brief moment, I wondered if Sookie did just want to protect her car, maybe she wanted to appease me like she appeased Bill? It was hard to say.
"Ill go pack some of my things." Sookie finally replied and Adele smiled and nodded as she left…
"Go on then, Ill have some scones for you two to go."
I smiled politely at Adele and then I told her about the party I was planning on throwing at my bar. That seemed to make her very happy. As we heard Sookie at the top of the stairs, awaiting her, Adele leaned into me and replied…
"Just give it a little time, everything will fall into place soon."
I met Adele's gaze in question unsure if she was talking about Sookie or my life or maybe both, but either way, I hoped she was right and I thanked her.
Then as if on cue Sookie came down the stairs clunking a huge suitcase on the wood as she tried to carry it down.
"Ill help you." I replied rushing to assist her. Surprised she had decided to pack such a large suitcase this time and not just an over night bag.
I wondered if just maybe the tide was finally turning.
xxxxxx
SPOV
I wasn't sure how much I should bring to Eric's place, but having him tell my Gran he would still be willing to help with housework, and hearing the defeat in his voice when he announced he would leave for the night made me want to reach out to him and stop him.
I knew we had a lot of work cut out for us, but I had to at least try. I still couldn't pretend that his earlier remarks didn't hurt. Maybe I had been too lenient with Bill, but he didn't even let me explain. It made me furious. He was acting just like Bill. Controlling, aggressive, it scared me because I really wanted this to work for us.
My Gran was right, the fog was starting to come in about the time we left. I told Eric to keep his brights off so the light wouldn't reflect back into his eyes and he navigated the side roads carefully. Despite our lovers quarrel, I did feel safe with him, glad he was driving right now instead of me.
"Do you want to listen to the radio?" Eric asked me calmly, but truthfully I didn't really care and replied…
"It doesn't matter"
I looked out the window and there was a moment of silence as I thought about leaving my Grandmothers house, and how I would cope if I were to leave it for good. The thought made me sad. Eric flipped the radio on and after a moment of silence he spoke again…
"Would you like to grab a bite somewhere or just get take out?" He asked.
"Whatever you want." I answered looking out the window again, feeling as if I were miles away from here.
"Sookie?" Eric replied and I knew he was going to ask me what was wrong, but luckily my phone rang saving me from his interrogation.
I wasn't ready to talk to him yet. I wished so badly that I could have a drink right now, but I knew that was out of the question. I saw on the caller ID that it was Pam. Normally I would avoid her calls like the plague but for once I thought she actually might be able to help buy me some time.
"Sorry." I explained looking down at my caller ID, and then I answered my cell tiredly…
"Hey Pam."
"Try to control your excitement darling, did I catch you at work?" Pam asked. I looked over at my boyfriend beside me, and I could tell that he was curious but also was attempting to give me my space by pretending to concentrate on the road and I replied casually…
"No I'm with Eric."
"You certainly don't sound like you are with Eric, what's going on with you two? Are you still giving him crap about not moving in, because honey it's only going to get harder for you once that bump gets bigger."
"I don't really want to talk about it right now Pam, is there something I can help you with?" I asked hoping to change the subject. It was awkward enough with Eric sitting right here but Pam was too keen, and she replied sharply…
"Well I'm afraid you don't have much choice Darling unless you want me to third wheel you two, tie you up together, and spout out psychobabble shrink bullshit all night long. And don't think I won't do it."
"Pam, its fine, things are great between us, I even packed my suitcase, you don't need to tie up anyone."
Eric couldn't help but look back at me with one brow rose in question obviously wondering what on earth we were talking about and I smirked at him knowing if anyone else understood Pam's abrasiveness it was Eric.
Pam laughed and she replied…"Either you think they took the word naïve out of the dictionary or you think I was born yesterday."
"No that's not true." I answered.
"Out with it, put me on speaker phone, I want to talk to your boyfriend too."
I sighed and looked back at Eric who muttered in concern…
"What does she want?"
Apparently my phone had excellent reception and Pam heard Eric replying…
"I want to know what's wrong. (I clicked the speakerphone because I knew arguing was useless and Pam continued her rant) I can feel the tension between you two all the way from my house, so what gives? Did your brother banish you because he just found out that being preggers means you are no longer a virgin?"
I rolled my eyes and spat back…"No."
"Eric, talk to me, why does she sound so gloomy?"
Eric sighed. He took one look at me, shaking his head I knew he didn't want to do this, reluctant to speak he finally confessed…
"Because I got in a fight with her ex tonight, in front of the whole town, while she was still at work."
I thought I heard Pam smile on the other end as she replied smugly…
"My my, you have been busy haven't you?"
I rolled my eyes and Eric replied…
"I can't stand him, every time I look at that asshole I see the devil."
I looked back at Eric strangely wondering where this sudden hate for Bill came from. I mean I knew he always disliked him but I thought Eric had put everything that had happened behind him, like I was trying to do. It disheartened me to think that it would always be like this for us, that Eric couldn't drop a grudge. What kind of an example would his attitude set for our baby? I didn't want to dismiss Eric's behavior and pretend like it was okay to act this way, because it wasn't.
There was a moment of silence and finally I replied thinking, hoping maybe Pam could help because I didn't want to see Eric like this any more than he did…
"Eric followed me after work last night…"
"I didn't follow you."
"Well, you saw me with Bill and I can only gather from your earlier statement that you wouldn't mind seeing him dead, and that scares me."
Eric looked back at me hard and he shook his head…
"I'm not that stupid."
"Oh really, what were you doing out on Old Parish Road last night then? It wasn't a detour was it?"
Eric glared back at me like I had just sold his hide to the lowest bidder.
"I don't have to tell you what I was doing, in fact it's not really any of your business." He snapped.
Okay now that did it, he was starting to piss me off again, and I decided to let him have it, clenching my fists in my lap I spat back...
"Um yeah, I think it is my goddamn business, if you are off on some revenge kick and you get arrested again. What will I do then? I'm not about to give up my savings to bail you out, not with a baby on the way, not with OUR BABY ON THE WAY! Everything you do is my business now BUSTER!"
"BUSTER? You're calling me BUSTER NOW?"
"Guys, reel it in." Pam advised from the speaker.
"She had a check from him in her glove compartment, it was for $20,000. What am I supposed to say to that?"
I looked back at Eric with disappointment, but the glint in his eyes mirrored mine and I could see that same distress reflecting back at me.
"How am I supposed to react when the man I love doesn't trust me? He was spying on Bill and me for Pete's sake! What do we have if we don't have trust?"
I creased my brows feeling sad and depressed all of the sudden. There was a moment of silence and then Pam finally replied…
"Eric are you driving?"
"Yes."
"Pull over."
"What?"
"Pull over you idiot!"
Eric did as Pam asked begrudgingly, pulling the car over to the side of the highway; luckily no one was behind us.
"You both have gotten yourself into quite the pickle." Pam replied. I sighed thinking we were hopeless. And then she asked me…
"Sookie, can you tell Eric how what he did makes you feel?"
I paused for a moment looked back at Eric thinking this felt weird but again, we needed help, so desperately, thinking Pam could be our last resort I nodded…
"I feel like he doesn't trust me, I know he's said he does before, but what am I supposed to think when he's sneaking around behind my back, beating people up, and jumping down my throat about a stupid check?"
"I do trust you, I just don't understand how…"
"Eric, this is not your turn to respond. Tell Sookie how finding that check makes you feel, tell her why you reacted the way you did..."
Eric swallowed, closed his eyes for a moment and then looked back at me, shaking his head, there was another long pause and Pam encouraged him…
"Eric, I'm trying to help. You need to think about that baby now, not just your stubborn wounded pride."
He looked tortured and for a moment I felt bad for him. He glanced down at his hands in his lap and then he finally replied as if in surrender…
"It hurt me…it hurt me that she can so easily forgive him, after what he put us through, what he put her through, what he put me through, I almost lost my life, I spent too damn long defending myself, by the end I almost believed I was guilty because of him, and I don't want any part of his redemption, I don't care how sorry he is."
There was another pause and I looked at Eric, for a moment thinking as wise and more experienced as he was, he was still like a lost little boy inside. He tugged at my heartstrings and I reached over to take his hand, as he looked at me in question…
"Right now I want you to forget about Bill, both of you. He has nothing to do with how you both feel about each other does he?"
There was another long pause and then Pam proclaimed…
"He better not or Ill go bust his knee caps for you."
"No he doesn't." I replied looking back at Eric, Pam asked him…
"Eric?"
Eric looked at me begrudgingly and finally answered to my relief.
"No."
"Eric, I want you to pick up the phone and take it off speaker for a second."
I glanced back at Eric in question and he met my gaze hesitantly…
"Go ahead, it won't bite. I do but I'm not there so you are in the clear."
Eric rolled his eyes and then he took the phone.
I couldn't help but wonder what they were talking about as Eric nodded his head and answered sadly in one words increments like "yes" "I know" "fine". He looked out the window and put his hand on his forehead and I knew whatever she was telling him he was struggling with.
It both scared and worried me because Eric was a man who was always in control. But lately he hadn't quite been himself and I couldn't help but wonder if that was because of this baby news. I didn't want him to stay with me if he was having second thoughts. I felt a stab of pain in my chest as my heart raked over with worry. It, it was just so hard. Finally he set the phone back down his shoulders sunken in and pressed the speaker key again. Eric looked back at me, took a deep breath attempting to pull himself together from whatever Pam had told him and he explained…
"Sookie, I want you to stay with me, but only if you are willing and in your own time."
I looked back at Eric in question more confused now than ever because I wondered if Pam had force-fed him these words or did he really mean them? I hated feeling like this, and I creased my brows in confusion and I nodded my head finally accepting his words, although I wasn't quite sure what to do with them.
"Go ahead Sookie, tell Eric what you want from him too." Pam's voice echoed through the speaker and I looked back at him and replied with a swallow…
"You once told me that I needed to stop jumping to conclusions about Eric…Well I want him to stop jumping to conclusions with me, I need him to respect my boundaries, give me my space, I know he wants to try to do what is best."
"Speak to him Sookie, Look at him..." Pam encouraged.
I creased my brows and met his blue gaze with bravery…
"I have told you time and time again that I can take care of myself, and I'm not going anywhere, I love you. But you can't control me and I don't want you to."
And, I didn't want him to stay with me if he didn't want to, but I couldn't get the words out, and then Pam spoke.
"Eric I think she has a point."
"I thought you weren't supposed to take sides?" Eric replied stiffening up again.
"I'm not, but she's committed herself to you, now you need to let go of that anger and give yourself to her. It can only work if you both do it together."
"I know you wont do it here in front of me, but sometime very soon I think you should tell Sookie how you really feel, deep down inside, she loves you. Right Sookie?"
"Yes." I looked back at Eric still wondering what he really thought about all of this because he was a master at the poker face and finally he nodded his head...
"Fine, are you finished?"
Eric was looking at the phone waiting for Pam to speak and she confessed...
"You know, you two could put your therapist in therapy."
"You're not our therapist Pam." Eric replied plainly looking back at me once more.
"See what I mean?" Pam retorted.
She paused for a moment and she explained...
"I was bluffing earlier when I said I could be your third wheel, I actually have company tonight and he is making me dessert. I just wanted to call Sookie to check on the plans for the party. I would be willing to cut my date short for you two lunatics. But if you think you can handle each other without blood shed or fleeing the country, Ill let you off the hook."
"Oh how magnanimous of you!" Eric retorted with sarcasm and added…
"I'm sure your colleagues would be thrilled to know you call your clients lunatics."
"I only call it like I see it, you'll thank me some day sweetie."
"Thank you Pam." I finally replied and Eric looked at me, and Pam replied...
"You're welcome Darling, but before I go I want both of you to promise me that you will talk before you react when it comes to anything that may affect the other, you are acting for 3 now, not just one."
I looked back at Eric studying his reaction carefully. His gaze flashed with mine and then he finally nodded...
"Yeah don't worry." Eric said.
"We'll work on it Pam." I replied after him, hoping he really meant it, and Pam answered after a gasp...
"I'm not quite sure what to say, I think I could cry."
"Don't ruin your makeup Pam, I'll call you tomorrow." Eric answered.
"Yes, I have to look hot for my date after all."
"Who's the lucky guy?" Eric asked.
But Pam only chuckled and then concluded…
"Goodnight you two, don't let the bed bugs bite, I'll see you tomorrow Eric."
"Yeah." Eric answered casually.
"Goodnight Pam." I replied, and then she hung up on her end and looked back at Eric and I asked him curiously wondering what Pam meant…
"What's tomorrow?"
He looked at me through the sides of his eyes and then back down at his lap as if he was trying to hide something from me. I began to grow worried, until Eric replied…
"Godric is going to be buried tomorrow morning, the police department finally released his body from the morgue."
Well that explained part of why Eric had behaved the way he had, I thought. He was still grieving for his best friend. It both saddened and frustrated me. He met my gaze with a small flinch and I could see the pain in his eyes for a brief moment which of course made my heard melt. He looked out at the road ahead and then he asked me as he started up the car…
"Would you go with me?"
I felt his pain roll off him in waves. I knew he was trying to be strong so I wasn't about to cave here. I wish he had told me about this sooner. We definitely had to work on this communication thing I thought, instead of jumping down my throat about the check, but then I figured we didn't have much time earlier, and I realized Pam made a good point, it was time to let things go and I replied…
"Of course I will."
He nodded his head in acceptance. Since we were on the subject of tomorrow, I explained...
"I…I have my first appointment with Pam's OBGYN friend tomorrow afternoon…Do you have time to go with me?"
I asked him testing the waters as my eyes rose to meet his, still wondering if he was genuinely into all this baby stuff.
"I want to be at every appointment with you."
I smiled at him faintly, feeling relief by his words. Okay so maybe he wasn't having second thoughts.
"Good." I replied softly and he offered me a small smile.
I took one look at Eric who glanced back at me and he then turned back onto the highway. He was very good at keeping his feelings at bay but I knew he had to be hurting over this whole Godric thing and then he suggested.
"How about we eat in?"
I had to admit, after getting that out, it felt weird. I wasn't really prepared to tell Eric all that I had. I mean we had talked before but not really like that. I hoped he didn't take what I said offensively, but at the same time, maybe it was good that I did tell him. Strangely, it didn't go as badly as I thought it would. Despite my boyfriend's clear melancholy over his best friend, which was understandable, we didn't rip each other to shreds. Maybe it was because Pam was there. I had to think about that the next time we pissed each other off, which would probably be in 5 minutes.
Nevertheless, it was nice to hear what Eric was feeling for once. It would be nicer if he would share those thoughts with me more often but I supposed with Eric, it was just best to appreciate what he did say, he generally had our best interest at heart and I knew it was late, not to mention, I wasn't really in the mood to go out anymore, and I was sure Eric wasn't either so I nodded my head and answered…
"Yeah, sure."
xxxxx
EPOV
About 20 minutes later we had pulled up outside my town home. I had to admit the conversation with Pam and Sookie in the car just now had been draining on me. I wasn't used to talking about my feelings. For the most part, I didn't really think I had many, but apparently I did.
When Pam asked to speak to me privately I was dreading her words, ready to tell her to back the fuck off and mind her own business, she had no right meddling in ours, but what she said, broke me down…
"Let go of him Eric, you can't blame Bill, you can't blame anyone else, he is gone now, and he wants you to find your peace."
My knuckles gripped the steering wheel as Pam's words echoed through my head. I was torn between holding in the pain and allowing the tears to take over, which I didn't really want to do while driving, or in front of Sookie. I was relieved when she turned the on the radio and some loud obnoxious song helped me to put my thoughts on the shelf for the moment.
When we got inside, I set down Sookie's suitcase and she asked me what she could do to help with dinner.
I was thankful that she was such a thoughtful, kind, compassionate, and practical person.
So many of the other girls I had been with, pretty much all nameless at this point, only cared about themselves. Maybe that's why I was with them, because I didn't want the commitment. But Sookie was special. She had this energy and this light that projected out from within. I knew with her, I would be hopelessly drawn in, like a moth to a flame. I had so much I wanted to tell her, but wasn't sure how to begin and I feared if I started I might not be able to stop.
So instead, I nodded my head and went to the fridge.
xxxxx
"My brother seems to think you and Pam have unfinished business romantically."
Sookie replied with a smirk while chopping the mangoes and cabbage.
I looked over at her with intrigue and asked her…
"And why would he think something like that?"
My brow was raised as I looked back at her and she smiled and replied…
"Well he can't quite understand why Pam isn't interested in him."
I chuckled, knowing exactly why Pam wasn't interested in him, but I decided to keep my thoughts to myself because they would serve no purpose here.
"I'm sure it's only because she prefers tall handsome blondes from Sweden." I joked and Sookie bumped into me with her hip in jest.
"Do you agree with him?" I finally asked curiously and she looked at me thoughtfully as I flipped over the fish.
"Well, you are very close to her."
She remarked in thought biting her lip, and I wondered if it was possible she could still be jealous. I hoped she wasn't, she had no reason and then finally she shook her head and concluded…
"No, I know you two have been through a lot together, I actually think its sweet that you have been able to maintain a friendship and that you can support each other the way you do."
I glanced back at her as she tucked a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear. She seemed to be toying with something, I felt a "but" coming and I helped her along…
"But?"
She bit her lip and looked back at me and she replied…
"Well that's the hard part for me, I guess, I can't understand why you have this healthy friendship with Pam, but you won't let me make peace with Bill."
My brows furrowed and I looked down at the fish instantly feeling the urge to stab it. Feeling that it was no coincidence that she used almost the same words Pam had and I muttered…
"That's different."
"How is it different…I just want to move on."
"He hurt you." I felt my hands begin to shake and I wanted so desperately to let go like Pam had suggested but it was virtually impossible to forget my hate for him. I didn't know how Sookie did it.
"He did hurt me, but when I talked to him the other day, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Forgiving him gave me peace."
I looked back at her struggling to see things from her point of view. I could only hear Sookie's screams, I could only see his spineless face as he came the next day to ask for her forgiveness, I could only see Godric lying there in a pool of his own blood on the floor.
"Eric, that check you found. Bill gave it to me via Tara the day he discovered by mistake that I was pregnant. You see I was in the drug store shopping for a pregnancy test when I bumped into Bill. I told him they were for Tara, but he didn't believe me. I guess Tara ran into him shortly after at the grocery store and when he confronted her, she had no idea what he was talking about, which confirmed his suspicions. He caught her when she was leaving and gave her a bag filled with gifts, and apparently a $20,000 check to me."
There were tears in her eyes and she took a deep breath as if she was struggling to go on…
"You had been released on bail, but I didn't know, I didn't know if I would be forced to raise this baby alone, I didn't know how I could survive financially, I didn't know if you would be locked up for good or not, so when I saw the check…I…I put it aside, just incase."
She blinked and one tear came rolling down her cheek.
I looked down at my hands holding the knife, knowing I still hated the fucker, but I couldn't bear to see Sookie in pain.
I set down the knife carefully and reached over to pull her to me.
She wrapped her arms around my body and it felt so amazingly good. Sookie had no idea what she did to me. It was as if one small embrace could bring me home.
"It's okay."
I finally replied after a few moments pause, not sure I could believe the words that had just come out of my mouth, but I knew I meant them.
She looked up at me with those doe eyes and I knew I could never hurt her the way he did.
"I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions about that check."
She nodded her head and replied…
"I'm sorry for not explaining the Bill thing to you."
I looked down at the food below us, and after a moment of holding her, I took her hand and replied…
"Come on, I have something I want to show you, the food will keep."
She glanced down at our colorful dinner not yet assembled and nodded in agreement.
I took her hand and led her back upstairs. I could tell Sookie was anxious and a little nervous, as was I.
I realized stopping outside my old office for the first time that we hadn't really discussed any of this, I just did it because I wanted to surprise her. I didn't know if that was a good or bad thing, but I hoped it was good. But more than that, I hoped what I was about to show Sookie wouldn't make her freak out.
"In here."
I replied stepping ahead of her, opening the office door and flicking on the switch revealing an empty room, with the exception of a dark brown sleigh shaped crib with a plush pillow topped mattress and white fluffy bedding standing in the corner.
Sookie let out a breath I didn't know she was holding. I studied her reaction to this and I explained…
"I thought the baby could have a place to stay as well, when you're here. (I added to be safe) We could even decorate the room together."
She was silent, too silent and I began to grow worried offering…
"If you don't like it, I can take it back."
And then the tears returned, and she actually sniffled and looked back at me. Here it comes, I thought. She would accuse me of pushing too hard and trying to control her life. I tensed up prepared for the verbal blow, when she shook her head and exclaimed…
"I love it. (She walked over to the crib and ran her hand along the dark wood frame and she remarked with admiration…) It's beautiful."
I smiled in relief approaching the crib cautiously just incase she had second thoughts and then she hugged me tight, washing all the tension away. It felt so right, having her here in my arms. I wanted to tell her she had nothing to fear, that I was in this for the long haul, and that I would take care of her and our baby. I inhaled her sweet intoxicating scent and pulled her closer to me.
"I…I wasn't sure you wanted this…I know you wanted me, but the whole baby part…" Her voice trailed off and she shook her head…
"You thought I didn't want the baby?" I creased my brows and looked into her eyes in question.
"I didn't mean it like that, I just knew it came as a shock to you too, and I don't, just forget I said anything…"
But I couldn't forget, her words only made me want to convince her more.
"Sookie, I want you, I want this baby, I'm sorry if I ever gave you any doubt…"
"You didn't…"
I put my hand on her cheek wanting to proclaim the truth but I could tell she wasn't done, so I waited patiently for her, my eyes never leaving her angelic face and finally she looked at me and explained…
"It was me. (She paused for a moment, let out a little sigh and then met my gaze with pain filled eyes.) Incase you couldn't tell, Bill did a number on me…After him I wasn't sure I could ever love anyone again, let alone trust them…And then you came along and you felt too good to be true, but you weren't and I was afraid I could lose you…I think I was worried if I thought we could be happy together and if I just kept my distance I could spare myself more pain."
I met her gaze with questioning blue eyes and she concluded…
"You make me look outside myself and sometimes that's not so easy to do…(she stared down at the floor and muttered…) Anyway… I'm happy I was wrong."
Her bravery is what I found most attractive about her, I realized in that moment. She blinked and looked up at me offering me a small smile and I assured her…
"I don't want you to ever doubt me again…We're family now, you are my family, the only family I have so you can rest assured I will not fuck it up...(I rethought that last line knowing I was destined to fuck it up at some point and I added with a smirk…) At least not too badly."
Sookie smiled back and before I knew it our lips had joined and I was breathing her in as if my life depended on it. I clenched the back of her tank top and she ran her hands through my hair, igniting that everlasting flame that burned between us.
This felt so good, it felt so right. I couldn't believe I had been so angry before, not when I had this waiting for me at home.
I dragged her tongue out with mine and our mouths danced like long time lovers reunited. I couldn't let go of her, my hands dropping down to her ass, and she kissed me back deeper.
Her hand was on my neck and somehow her fingers had found my artery stroking the sensitive spot, making me even hotter for her, I thought momentarily about how long it would take us to get to the bedroom, and then Sookie's stomach made this massive growl.
We stopped kissing and I looked back at her in disbelief. She smiled up at me sheepishly and I asked her kidding…
"Was that Bigfoot?"
She swatted the side of my arm and shook her head replying…
"No Sweetheart, that was your child, and I think it's hungry."
I smirked and raised a brow asking her…
"Well child or not, it certainly didn't inherit that voice from me."
"I beg to differ."
I shook my head and looked her up and down as if she were an anomaly to me, which in a way she was and I knew then I was going to have fun trying out this new body of hers too. My eyes connected with her's wickedly and she shook her head refusing to back down.
"Oh beg all you want lover, but that doesn't mean I will back down."
Somehow, she saw right through me and as I grabbed her hand, she bumped her hip into me on purpose and teased as we left the room…
"You big stubborn Viking."
I smirked and surprised Sookie by picking her up in my arms and squeezing her ass. She squealed to my delight, and I had to do all I could from not ravishing her here right on the spot.
But Sookie's bladder saved us from any more sexual exploration to my dismay.
Sookie went to use my bathroom, and I went back down to finish our fish tacos with mango salsa and cabbage slaw salad. When Sookie got back I set down a heaping plate in front of her with a side of her grandmother's famous blueberry scones, and we dug in. I was right, they still tasted fresh. In fact the salsa had even more flavor after it had been allowed to ferment for a bit. Sookie had about 3 helpings, so by the time we were both done, we could no longer move.
As I was doing the dishes I realized Sookie was tired after she narrowly missed falling into her bowl of ice cream by mere inches. It was at that point; I knew we were most likely ready to turn in for the night. I dumped her half eaten bowl out and then swept her up in my arms and carried her back upstairs.
Despite our earlier attempts at foreplay, my body was ready to collapse after I had gotten Sookie settled and in bed. I pulled my shirt off, the last wavering thoughts of having sex falling by the wayside with the rest of my exhausted body. I know, if it hadn't been dead tired, it wasn't 3am and we hadn't spent the last 3 hours talking about feelings and shit, and not to forget the fight, my little hitch hike adventure, scaffolding walls, sneaking into girls bedrooms, getting caught by their grandmothers, and being ambushed by my shrink ex girlfriend, I may have found the energy to make a case for persuading the sleeping Sookie, but by the time I hit the sheets, I was out like a light. I didn't even get all my clothes off, I was dead to the world.
Just before dawn, I groggily found myself face to face with Sookie. She nuzzled her forehead into my neck and her warm breath coated my skin. I felt my insides churn in blissful delight pulling her closer to me as I pressed my cheek into her temple. I closed my eyes and inhaled her sweet scent, allowing the warm enchanting thoughts to carry me back off to dreamland when I was interrupted by her voice...
"Eric?"
I looked down at her tiredly and her dark eyes met mine, but she was clear and alert, and I wasn't expecting that.
"Yeah?"
I asked curiously wondering if something was wrong and I turned my body so I could get a better look at her.
She simply blinked and nodded her head as if she was answering something I had just asked, but I didn't recall asking her anything and finally she concluded...
"I'm ready to move in with you."
I raised my brows in disbelief. I couldn't believe my ears, wondering if I was still dreaming.
"Are you sure?" I heard myself ask her waiting on baited breath for her response and she nodded her head to my relief...
"Yes."
She bit her lip, and put her hand on my cheek and declared with a certainty that shook me to my very core…
"I don't want to spend another night away from you."
My pulse began to pump more blood into my rapidly beating heart and I paused for a moment and finally answered assuring her with a very happy grin.
"Then you won't."
And she smiled right back at me.