Time Long Past
She looked at her hands in the mirror. Lumpy, rough scar tissue. Discolored red and yellow flesh as if the first layer of skin had been stripped away and never replaced. The same sight she had known for a decade. Gingerly, Kirigiri slid her glove back over unfeeling flesh. She wouldn't call herself a vain person, but she was well-aware of society's customs. Thus, as she looked at her dress in the mirror and the thick gloves that accompanied, she could only think about how strange she looked. In ordinary days, she would have taken off the dress and simply stayed in. However, apparently Hope's Peak had made this school dance mandatory. She doubted that was the norm. No, this was just another mechanism by that man to get under her skin.
Quick, enthusiastic knocking came at the door. That would have to be Naegi or Asahina. As it opened, it was revealed to be the former student in his rented tuxedo alongside his best friend.
"Wow, you look amazing, Kirigiri-san!" Naegi said, eyes glowing with all the light of someone meeting their greatest hero.
Maizono clapped her hands in joy. "I knew that dress would look great on you."
"Once again, your psychic powers saved the day," Kirigiri said dryly. "Thank you, both. You two look great, as well."
"Thank you." Maizono tilted her head slightly to the side. "You're going to wear your gloves?"
She didn't answer. If anything, she was a little surprised that Maizono had pointed that out. By now, they should have realized that she never took them off. She wasn't going to change that for something as insignificant as this.
"Sayaka. . ." Naegi whined. He turned to Kirigiri. "We thought you were going to."
. . . No, of course they wouldn't. Naegi at least noticed habits like that.
Maizono nudged Naegi, startling him into speech. "Uh, yeah, we thought you would want gloves, so. . . I brought you something."
That last bit was said in such a hurried whisper that the sound of him pulling something out of his pocket nearly muffled it. Though he refused to look at her, he thrust the object at her fiercely. Kirigiri picked the chain up by two fingers and let it dangle.
"It goes with your dress and gloves!" Naegi said enthusiastically. "I knew you would look great in whatever you wore, but I thought you might have trouble finding something that went with them. But the gems on that necklace match the studs on your gloves."
"This is surprisingly high-quality," she said. Certainly, more than Naegi could afford. She doubted he could talk Ludenberg into giving up one of her trinkets, so its former owner must have been the princess from the other class.
"Heh, don't worry about it. Think of it as a thank-you."
"For what?"
"For that time Hagakure-kun tried to sell my organs," Naegi said. "And the time I walked into rival gang territory while wearing that Crazy Diamond sweater Owada-kun gave me. . . And for noticing when the bus left me behind on the school trip. . . And when I got trapped in that room with that killer robot Fujisaki-kun was working on. . ."
With each step into the past, Naegi became more and more dejected until Maizono could no longer resist the urge to ruffle his hair.
Naegi shot back up. "You've done a ton for me, so I thought I should get you some kind of thank-you present."
Maizono giggled. "You don't want to know what he did to get that for you."
Was that so? It probably was related to the reason she saw him walking in dress pants and a white shirt the other week.
"This wasn't necessary, but thank you, Naegi-kun," she said. "This was extremely thoughtful of you."
He beamed. "That's what best friends do. Here, pull your hair up for a second."
Naegi stepped forward and grabbed the necklace. He undid the clasp and then slid the chain into position around her neck, where he fastened it again. The necklace had a weight to it, but it was a small, comforting one that sat on her chest.
"Hmm . . ." Maizono reached forward and adjusted it. "Perfect. If you're ready, we should all go to the gym together."
"Alright. Give me a moment to grab my purse."
Kirigiri stepped back into her room and grabbed the purse waiting on the dressing table. She paused for a moment to examine her reflection.
She had assumed this dance would be another chore she had to get through, but maybe she was wrong. Maybe she could enjoy this after all.
"Hey, Kirigiri-san, what's next on the agenda?" Asahina asked, snapping Kirigiri out of her hazy memories.
"Kamukura-kun didn't suggest anything, and we have basic supplies," Kirigiri mused. "I suppose there are no pressing tasks."
"So, what you're saying is that this is free time."
"You could interpret it that way."
Asahina's eyes slowly lit up. "Party on the beach time?"
"It will take some time for Hanamura-kun and the others to prepare the food."
"So, we could totally have a party on the beach right now!"
"Yes," Kirigiri agreed.
They may or may not have covered their ears as Asahina whooped and then ran at Hagakure for a high-five. That said, Asahina's proposed party didn't start immediately. Most of them were carrying supplies so they didn't have to walk all the way back to First Island every time they were hungry. Even after they deposited the food, not as many people were as willing to join Asahina in the water as she had hoped.
"But there's bombs out there!" Hagakure had protested.
"Have you seen them? They're too big to be this close to shore."
"How do you know there aren't little bombs, too?"
"Well, then they'd just make little explosions, so it's no big deal."
That was patently wrong, but Asahina was correct that there would be no mines when the water was this shallow.
"You just want to show off," Fukawa muttered. "You know I can't swim like you. You want them to laugh at me."
"I don't just swim for competitions. I practice recreational swimming, too. So stop complaining and start having fun, everyone!"
Kirigiri said, "Asahina-san, just because there are no pressing tasks doesn't mean I don't have any responsibilities."
"Aw, come on! You worked all the time on the boat and now that we're on a beach, you're going to keep working?"
Despite Asahina's arguments, the only person she was able to talk into wading into the water was Komaru. Naegi – possibly remembering his last encounter with the ocean – lingered nearby on shore, letting waves tickle his toe. That meant Komaru didn't stay long, so Asahina's Swimming Party turned into a Sunbathing Party instead.
"Are you always this pale?" Asahina asked Kirigiri, who was sitting under a palm tree. "It's like you spent your entire life in a library."
Knowing Asahina wasn't trying to insult her allowed Kirigiri to brush off the comment. It did, however, remind her of something important.
"Naegi-kun." Despite clearly addressing the male one, both siblings looked at her. "Come here."
He approached and she told him to crouch in front of her. She leaned forward. Sweaty. But they all were after walking so long in the hot sun. Breathing a little quick but that could have been from being too close to the water for comfort. What she was more concerned about was the red flush spreading out from the bridge of his nose.
"The sunscreen's worn off. You're developing a minor burn," she concluded. It was surprising that she – no, that Kamukura – had overlooked this. "Asahina-san, do you have sunscreen?"
"Back in my room," she answered. "Hang tight. I'll be right back."
The implied order was that Naegi was to remain in the shade, which he did. It meant, Kirigiri realized, that the two of them were face-to-face. Close. Within arm's reach. Within a weapon's reach. And although she knew he was unarmed, it still bothered her. In the past, she could have worked through this discomfort by talking with him. But now? With this strange, foreign Naegi who cloaked himself in lies, where did you start?
"Hi!" Naegi said energetically.
Apparently, that was where. That was the second time he'd done this in the past day: said hi and nothing else. Succinct conversation wasn't the norm with him; too much talking was usually the problem.
Given the events of the previous week, she could read Naegi more accurately than before. Or so she hypothesized. That oddly focused, smile-too-wide stare he gave was indeed a sizing up, as she had earlier assumed. It was a diluted version of her own searching stare, an attempt to ferret out secrets and desires before they left one's lips. Like an overeager pet desperate to please. Like a child walking on eggshells around an abusive parent.
And yet, she couldn't afford to disregard his threat completely. Naegi wasn't stupid. He had never been stupid, but he was demonstrating a newfound ability to turn that intelligence to dangerous ends. She knew, as Kamukura had pressed upon her, that he didn't mean to cause trouble, but Naegi's understanding of reasonable actions had been smashed upon the pavement and then run over with a few trucks.
Hmm. Kamukura had mentioned in passing that the best way to maintain order until things settled down was to keep the potential threats occupied. It occurred to her that he could have been talking about more than Ultimate Despair.
Naegi was still sitting there. Watching her every move. Waiting for a command.
"That was stupid," she told him. "I told you not to get involved."
"He was going to hit Ishimaru-kun, and everyone but him saw it coming."
"And you decided to block the punch with your face?"
"It's not like I wanted to," Naegi said. He touched his swollen cheek and winced. "But he swung and. . . I know that you knew Ishimaru-kun knew how to fight, but I didn't know that. Even if I did, I can't leave him high and dry."
"If Oogami-san got into a fight, would you also attempt to intervene?"
His eyes burned with fire. "Of course, I would!"
She shook her head. "You're incorrigible. Fighting is a very serious thing and it's easy for an untrained person to get hurt like you did. Leave the fighting to those who can handle it."
He laughed cheerfully. "Sorry, Kirigri-san, but I can't do that. If I see my friends in trouble and there's something I can do to help, I'm going to do it."
She shook her head in exasperation. "Don't you ever listen?"
"Nope!" he said cheerfully. "I know you don't like it, but I'm not going to change that about myself. Otherwise I wouldn't be me."
She handed him a glass of water from the nightstand beside his infirmary bed. "No you wouldn't."
"How do you like the island?" she asked.
"It's very bright," he said. A strange statement to make, until one considered that his eyes must have been accustomed to the florescent lights of the indoors. "Kind of hot, too. Not that I'm complaining. I never needed to worry about sunscreen before."
"The temperature was mild where you were," Kirigiri agreed. "I found the weather there also tended to be cloudy."
"Sure. I guess it was."
There were many clues to be drawn from his words. So many little pieces that came together in an unpleasant whole. She chose not to dwell on them. What use would it be? These conclusions were things she already knew, things that would only sow rage amongst their classmates.
"What about your room? Is it suitable?"
"It's perfect!" he gushed. "You went all out for me, huh?"
She saw the problem. It was a new one, obviously, because he had admitted to her before that he had preferred the meals he received under Ultimate Despair. However, before he also hadn't huddled into Pekoyama's side while looking at them all with fear.
"I think someone's stalking me."
Kirigiri said nothing and instantly began staking out all possible routes of escape and entry. It was her room, so she knew it was secure. Still, as she continued the conversation with Naegi, she began picking through her dressers, looking for any bugs.
"Are you sure it isn't Ikusaba-san?"
"Positive. She felt it, too, when she was with me."
"But she didn't find anyone," she finished. Troubling. At least they had a warning this time before the latest calamity befell him.
"I can feel someone watching me," he said. "And. . . and there's weird things happening. Like I'll be walking in the hallway and there'll suddenly be a banana peel and I swear there wasn't one there before and sometimes my stuff goes missing and. . . I don't think the principal believed me, but I walked into something that – it didn't go off, but I swear – it was some kind of crazy death trap!"
"Death trap, you say?" She stopped looking for bugs. "Interesting. Does that scare you?"
"Well, it makes me nervous and yeah, maybe it scares me, but I'm not going to give into fear," he said. "That would be letting them win."
She nodded. "I have some theories so if you give me some time. . ."
"Already? Wow. You really are the Ultimate Detective." He beamed.
She waited until Naegi left. Then she pulled out her phone and searched through her contacts.
"Nanami-san? We need to discuss that friend of yours. . ."
Alright. Naegi was unwilling to admit he was dissatisfied, so she would have to meet him halfway and demonstrate it was okay.
"I think your room could use improvement," she said. "What do you think the most pressing need is?"
"It's a bit bare," Naegi said easily. "There's not a lot of stuff for how big it is. Can I have more things?"
She chose her words carefully. "It's your room. Do with it as you will."
"Does that mean. . .?" He seemed to struggle with his words. "Can I keep things in it?"
She narrowed onto that word. "What exactly are you referring to?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. Things."
There were many, many things that could be used to fill in that blank. Was he scheming again already? Naturally, Kamukura just had to stay behind with Ultimate Despair so she couldn't bring this to his attention.
"Can I?" Naegi pleaded.
Stop. Listen to him, to what he was saying. See this question through his eyes. Naegi, stolen away from his home with nothing but the clothes on his back, thrust into a world where he had no say over his accommodations, no relief except which Ultimate Despair decided to grant him. Naegi would have had no say over his belongings. His decorations would be those that Ultimate Despair gave him, that which they had explicitly deemed okay. Through that perspective, his question made much more sense. Naegi's answer was vague because he didn't know what he wanted to keep. He simply wanted to know if keeping things, if choosing his own possessions, was allowed.
"As I said, it's your room."
His excitement would have been cute, if it wasn't for the horrific story behind it.
"I'm back!" Asahina declared. "You hanging in there, Naegi-kun?"
He nodded happily. He glanced at Kirigiri, and then addressed Asahina. "C-can you get my back?"
She giggled. "I always have your back."
The shade wasn't large, so Kirigiri had to shuffle to the side to give Asahina room. Naegi had already turned his back to them and she found herself automatically searching his back, looking for a scar like that on his forehead, or marks that may have suggested an experience with chains or being dragged. He seemed alright, however, barring the general paleness. Judging by the ease in which the two had settled into their roles, this wasn't the first time Asahina had done this.
Positioned as she was, she couldn't see Naegi's face. She still saw enough. She saw muscles tighten across his shoulders the moment Asahina's hands made contact. The ribs heaved as he took a deliberate breath and unknotted his tense back. His weight shifted, moving back into each of her strokes, spine flexing. If she hadn't known Naegi before, hadn't known that simple flirting was enough to send him running for cover, she would have thought he was tricking Asahina into doing something inappropriate.
"Come on, Naegi-kun. Don't just sit there. The longer you take to put sunscreen on your face, the worse it's going to get," Asahina chided.
"S-sorry!" He scrambled to obey but Kirigiri could tell by the jerky movements that he wasn't paying close attention.
"All done!" Asahina announced after a time. "You should still try to stay out of the sun, but at least you shouldn't end up looking like a lobster."
Naegi was just about to get up when Kirigiri said, "Makoto, come here."
As Naegi hobbled over, she wordlessly held her hand out and requested the sunscreen from Asahina. She made up the excuse of wanting to doublecheck Naegi's work, and carefully squeezed some into her palm. Naegi caught on quickly, at least to the part where she intended to start where Asahina had left off. He settled neatly in front of her, legs bent under him and hands on his thighs like she was about to guide him through yoga.
It was an odd thing, to watch someone shudder under your touch. She could only imagine how it felt, for between the gloves and the scars, she was numb. Naegi closed his eyes and she could feel him pressing into her palm like a cat receiving pets. Had it been back during their school days, she would have found his behavior odd, but not too concerning. If she were completely honest with herself, just a few days ago she would have found his behavior frightening. That part of her was still there, buried deep beneath her core where it flitted in and out of reach like a shadow. As it always did. But it was getting easier to brush aside, to take off those goggles and view Naegi through the ones of. . . well, pity. He wasn't the first to demonstrate this kind of behavior. She'd seen it in dogs who had been waiting home alone for their dead masters to return.
What have they done to you? she wondered. She had always been determined not to see Naegi as helpless as Komaru and Asahina had, but now she understood the temptation.
"Hey, Kirigiri-san, do you have to deal with a lot of people who have split personalities."
"No. Contrary to what pop culture suggests, it's an extremely rare disorder. Most cases are misdiagnosed schizophrenia. Why do you ask?"
"Genocider Syo is a split personality," Naegi said. "And. . . I read somewhere that split personalities are caused by trauma."
So, they were. She had been afraid that Naegi's abnormally optimistic view of the world had been caused by a sheltered upbringing. And of course, it would fall upon her to break that.
"Not everyone had a pleasant childhood like you did," Kirigiri told him.
"I know. If I've picked up the hints, I'm sure you did a long time ago. I keep wanting to think she's exaggerating, or there's some reason why they treated her the way they did, but there isn't. They hated her for existing." Naegi shook his head sadly. "It's a special kind of crime to abuse someone who's completely dependent on you. I don't know if there's a way to forgive people like that."
"Alright. We're done here."
Naegi didn't do much of anything at first, other than slyly glance around. He was hoping that someone else was going to jump in and continue her work, she realized. When that didn't happen, he looked over to the sunny beach he was supposed to avoid where Komaru was trying to play catch with an unimpressed Fukawa. Then he shuffled back and leaned against the palm tree with her. He wasn't quite next to her; there was a generous space. But his body was turned towards her and it was obvious he wanted to be touching. She considered it, but something churned in her gut and she accepted that she wasn't ready for that.
The sun was still high when Kamukura came for them. Naegi wasn't the first to spot him, but he was the first to go running over and it puzzled her. How did you bond that strongly with a man who felt no love for anything else and wasn't shy about admitting it? Then again, she could ask how a computer program managed to integrate itself so intimately into their circle of friends.
The walk to Hotel Mirai was leisurely and quiet. She had to admit: while Class 77 did have the better accommodations, there was something to say for the knowledge that they were contained behind walls and gates. The designers of the hotel obviously hadn't wanted to make their security look ominous, but as she examined the fence's spires and thought back to prisons, they were mildly threatening. Not enough though for her to feel any trepidation when Kamukura opened the gate.
In a rare moment of sympathy, or perhaps plain pragmatism, Kamukura told them, "Enter when you are ready."
And as Naegi lit up and prepared to dash ahead into the arms of her tormentor, Kirigiri's thoughts were a chaotic storm.
We were friends once. In that ancient life I only half remember. But now. . .
Now I don't know you at all.