Rated "M" for nudity and brief Lime sequences
With "Tommy" all finished and everything said and done, I can now relax in my New York apartment. I had breakfast at this coffee shop that Kramer's been telling me about called "Monk's". It was a few stops on the 1 train from 79th to 110th. I enjoyed it very much, and I'm officially using it as a hangout.
My new priority is to write some original songs to perform down at deviantART records. I also agreed to produce my friends' acts as well, and make regular appearances on Wayne's World with the Thomas Fay Orchestra as their house band. Their next taping's on Friday, so I wrote it down to be there.
In the meantime, I gathered my songs and flew downtown to the studio. I'm getting tired of flying. The subway is a lot faster.
I saw MilkCan waiting in the booth when I walked in. A guy was sitting in the corner with a pencil, sketching.
"Who's that?" I asked.
"That's Rodney Alan Greenblat," explained Katy, "He flew from Rodneytown to do caricatures for our next album, 'Make it Sweet'."
Rodney looked up and waved, then looked back down at his sketchpad.
"Isn't he supposed to be Rodneytown's mayor?"
"Well, yeah..."
"MAMAMAMAMAMA," said Ma-San (If it's all right with you, I'm gonna produce this one)
"MAMAM" I said (That's okay) then in English, "I'm gonna be down the hall working on some originals."
U-1, Wayne, Garth, Danny, and Dani were in the next studio over.
"The girls are doing a project of their own," I explained, "They'll be over in a while."
We went down and I played a bit of an original, "Guitar Pick". After they got the idea, we turned on the recorder and played the song. Garth's drumming, Dani's harmonica bits, and Wayne's guitar solos were all improvised, and we all got it nailed in one take.
Back at home, I sat down at my couch with Egg-yolk, attempting to co-write a song. Kramer dropped in again with a peach in his hand.
"Wanna bite? They're Mackinaw Peaches from Oregon. They're only ripe for two weeks a year!"
"Na thanks, hon," said Egg-yolk, "We're already feelin' ripe."
I shuttered, then picked up the paper we were writing on.
"How about this: 'Hold the hose real tight/Prepare for a real fight'. How does that sound?"
"Maybe change the 'prepare' to a 'get ready' and you're gold," she said.
Kramer bit his peach and left.
All throughout the day, we've been getting itches and what feels like bites whenever we're in the apartment. At one point, Egg-yolk got so furious she attempted to zap them with her antennae, but it was no use. I finally came to the conclusion: FLEAS. So I picked up the phone and called the exterminator.
When he came, we waited outside for a few minutes, then the exterminator came out.
"You're right," he confirmed, "You got fleas. I'm gonna have to fumigate the place to get rid of them. It'll take about two days."
We gulped.
"You might have to move in with someone else for a while, so take some of your pajamas, toothbrushes, and stuff."
I went back in and packed some bags, then head out while the guy shut the door to commence the fumigation.
Now the only question that was currently on my mind was: Where was I going to sleep for two nights? I held a gathering with the others over at Monk's.
"We only have one bed that sleeps three, and it's all used up," said Lammy.
"I share mine with Dani," said Danny.
"I only one bed," said U-1, "So you can go unless you don't want to sleep on the floor."
"Nah," I said, "It's too hard. I want a bed that's smooth and has lots of space."
Egg-yolk raised her hand, "I have a king-size bed that can fit both of us."
"Okay, you win."
Egg-yolk stood up to go to the bathroom. Once she was out of sight, I quickly changed the subject.
"I noticed that all she wears is that purple dress."
"I guess that's the only thing she wears," said Danny.
"Well, what if somebody spills wine on it? What does she do?"
"Maybe it's stain-proof," said U-1, "You might want to check that out when you head inside."
"I'd like to know if she even wears that thing to sleep!"
So that night, I showed up with my bags at Egg-yolk's apartment, down by Grand Central. By a staggering coincidense, this was the same apartment that my aunt used to live in. I knocked on the door and she let me in.
"I see you made it, hon," she said, "Make yourself at home. I'll call down from something Mexican."
Oooooooooooooooooo. Mexican. I haven't had that in a while!
After that filling burrito, I sat down on the couch next to her to watch TV. Then I head into her bedroom to get changed.
"Go ahead. I'll join you in a minute!" she said.
I started to take off my shirt when I remembered to check her closet for anything else she wears. There was nothing but underwear and her swimsuit which looks a lot like her dress. I finished changing, and called her in.
I was about to leave for the living room for her to get change, but she said that wasn't necessary. So I went back to the bed.
Egg-yolk took off her dress, and her undies. That was it. All that was left was her green, nude body.
"Since when do you sleep like that?"
"Always," she said.
I shivered in fear. She got in on her side on the bed, and turned off the light. I tried to forget about what I saw as I slept. Actually, I could barely sleep because she had her butt against my leg for most of the night. It was hard to pretend she wasn't there.
I got up the next morning to her alarm clock. Egg-yolk was already up, still naked.
"I'm gonna go take a shower, hon."
"I'll see you later then," I said.
She closed the bathroom door while I got changed. I left my stuff here because I know that I had to stay here for another night.
I flew uptown to the old pad to see how things are going. I saw a new sign on my apartment door:
HAZARDOUS
ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK
Kramer just came out, unaware of the sign.
"Hey, uh... How's it goin'?"
"Kramer, that place is fumigated with GAS! Didn't you see the sign?"
He turned around, shook in surprise, and went to his room across the hall.
I caught up with Lammy, Danny, and U-1 on the subway. I told them what happened last night while on the 1 train.
"She sleeps naked," I said, "in a nonsexual context."
"Ewwww!" said Lammy, "Nothing on at all?"
"NOTHING on at all!"
"What about the dress?" asked U-1.
"It was just that purple dress she wears, and one swimsuit, too."
We got off at Times Square to transfer for the shuttle.
"I guess it's normal for bugs to wear nothing," suggested Lammy.
"Maybe there's more to Egg-yolk than meets the eye..."
"Since when did you start calling her Egg-yolk?"
"Amity Park. Embarrassing, maybe, but she approved."
Then downstairs to an uptown 6 train to 51st street.
At the studio, I entered MilkCan's booth, showed them the song I wrote with Egg-yolk yesterday. Sure enough, they went in and cut the song for the album.
"By the way, how's the old apartment?" asked Lammy
"It'll be done by tomorrow. Kramer just went in there though."
"EEK!" she said, her ears shot upward, "You know what could happen to him?"
"I don't know."
"Me neither."
Egg-yolk showed up and went to her own booth. I followed right behind her. I sat down with her at the console.
"Were you uncomfortable sleeping last night, hon?" she asked.
I knew if I didn't fess up right away, she's zap me.
So I said "Sorta. I'm not used so sleeping with someone naked when we don't plan to make out."
"I'm sorry about that, hon. You only got one more day before they de fumigate the apartment. Think you can survive one more night?"
"All right. If we can make out, I'll be fine."
"Deal."
Then I crossed my fingers, "But if this ever happens again, promise to me that you get yourself a nightgown."
"Again, deal."
Whew.
Back at the apartment, I saw some candy wrappers in front of my door. They were there since the day of the fleas, and no one bothered to pick it up. So I looked. They looked like Chunky bar wrappers...
NEWMAN!
He was over at Kramer's apartment. I walked in, in the middle of a conversation.
"Newman, I lost my ability to taste, and I'll never to finish my Mackinaw peaches in time!" said Kramer.
"How 'bout you give them to ME?" said Newman.
Kramer fessed up and handed Newman the last crate, then they turned to me.
"Can you explain THESE?" I asked, holding up the Chunky wrappers.
"They're Chunkys!"
"And these CHUNKYS are givin' me FLEAS!"
I tossed the wrappers at the tubby man, and his face started to itch from the little fleas on it. The peaches were not affected. Newman ran out of the apartment, with the crate still in hand.
"Hey, buddy, thanks," said Kramer, "What're you going to do tonight?"
"I'm sleeping with Egg-yolk for one more night."
"Now 'Egg-yolk' is...?"
"Teriyaki Yoko."
"Oh, yeah. Yeah. Right. Uh, tell her I said hi, and... give her this."
He held up another pasta statue which he calls 'Tortellini Yoko'. I took it and proceeded to leave the room.
"Thanks, Kramer. Hope your tongue feels better!"
So that night, I prepared for what was to come. I arrived with the pasta statue in hand and gave it to Egg-yolk. We had dinner, watched TV, then we went into the bedroom, took out clothes off, and got in the bed. Egg-yolk put a sponge in, and we started. Eventually, I got warm and it "went in". After experiencing that, I could finally get some sleep.
Morning came. I gathered my clothes and toothpaste, and made my way back uptown. The exterminator was taking down the sign when I arrived.
"It's all clear now," he said.
I paid the bill and he left. At the same time, Kramer burst out of his door, down the hall, and over to Newman's.
"Listen, Newman, I can TASTE AGAIN! Gimmie back those peaches!"
"Sorry, Kramer!" he snickered, eating the last peach.
I rolled my eyes and head inside.