All That Remains

by Emisha

Alice has a vision of Bella being tortured by Victoria. Edward and his family race to Bella’s side in Forks not knowing if they will make it in time. Warning:Story has many lemony scenes and some violence. E&B. Chapters are from different character POV's

26. Chapter 26

OLD VERSION OF ATR – PLEASE READ CHAPTER ONE NOTES FOR THE EXPLANATION ON WHY.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters; they all belong to Stephenie Meyer. I am simply borrowing them for my own amusement and hopefully yours as well.

A/N: This is the final chapter for All That Remains and it is like a double episode worth of what I normally do. So make a cuppa, grab some food, close the door to the outside world and get comfy. Don't forget the tissues for those who enjoy a bit of a teary moment or two.

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All That Remains

Chapter Twenty Six – My Edward's

I can't believe how strange I am feeling, it is like I have been asleep for the longest time and I am stuck in the moment when you are leaving a dream and waking up. That is impossible, vampires don't dream. I reminded myself. I don't know what has happened to me. The last thing I remember was seeing Edward looking at me weirdly after I threatened David to never touch me again after he grabbed my arm.

There is something missing, I can't place my finger on it... Wake up already Bella! I demanded of myself. Why am I not surprised that didn't work, I have no idea I thought sarcastically. Okay, think... Was there something else going on when I held David, was there another vampire or something that attacked me? I searched my memories retracing my steps to account for why I was seemingly locked in some sort of transition of consciousness.

I have felt like this before... it was coming back to me. When Victoria attacked me and I was coming out of my near death experience I was like this, the feeling of being in limbo, it was just before I felt the burning. My mind winced remembering the excruciating pain of being turned into a vampire. So why would I be here now, stuck like before? My thoughts went immediately to Edward – I can only imagine how he will be freaking out. I am bordering on that myself!

"Come back to me Bella, please don't give up" Edward's sobbed words came through to my mind. To hear Edward like this broke my heart. I have no idea what I have done that has caused me to be in this state but hearing him like that, to hear the desperation and pain in his voice was killing me inside. Everything in me wanted to hold him but I had no feeling in my arms or any other part of my body. Why, why would I be like this, why after all this time would I be... On fire...!

The searing agony of burning hit me like no other as the festering flames consumed my every thought. I wanted to scream my lungs out, to rip my mind from my body, to end this torture that I couldn't endure again. I tried to bury myself into the deepest part of my mind to escape this nightmare but I couldn't find any relief from this. There should be tears streaming down my face from the crying in my mind, no I'm not crying I am sobbing.

I knew from last time that I had to think around this, that no amount of screaming or crying will make this any better. But to be here again in this pain, in this torturous, insidious agony – it was like hell itself was using me as target practice. I wanted to scream, to holler. I wanted to make the universe break in two as it was doing to me; I wanted the heavens to hear my tortured cries it hurt so much.

I tried to move my thoughts onto other things, anything but acknowledging the relentless lashings of flames searing me from the inside out. This was not something you can get up from and walk off, it was not something that eased in time – it is a never ending hell induced burning death created from the bowels of all that is cruel and vicious. My thoughts flashed to my family, to Edward – I knew exactly the pain he would be in now in seeing me like this. He would be torturing himself unimaginably as only Edward would do. Thinking of him like this fanned the flames inside me into an unimaginable agony, how could I do this to him to know what this would do to him and Tala. Yes Tala! Another part of me broke inside of what this would be doing to her, how both of them would be feeling so helpless and tormented. And what of my beautiful baby girl who was without her mother right now. I wanted so badly to hold her in my arms, to gaze upon this heaven sent infant that Edward and I made together, to love her, cherish her, and kiss her sweet cheeks. Who is caring for my little Renesmee... WAIT!

My mind spun violently with memories crashing into each other. The memories of my baby, my gorgeous Renesmee flooded my mind of her beautiful wide eyes looking at me for the first time. I remember carrying her as she grew inside of me, how Edward touched my belly as he communicated with our little girl. Other memories, not of Renesmee washed over these images in my mind, they were memories of Tala, my sweet beautiful sister. I love her with all my heart, she was everything to Edward and I, we had spent the last wonderful nearly eighteen years watching her grow. But there is Renesmee and Edward as well... Each memory was loved and cherished of my separate lives; I frantically tried to pull my memories into me, to hold onto them protectively.

Neither existence could I live without but it was like trying to desperately hold on to air with your hands, each slipping through my fingers helplessly as my mind was engorged with memories, feelings... the full collective of my emotions for each seemingly two complete and different lives. I was coming apart at the seams being in this surreal nightmare. It was like being in a train wreck while in motion, knowing the whole time there wasn't anything you can do to stop it as the impending finality of what must be charged at you brutally.

Then it hit me – the mother lode of all that is heartless and sadistic pain. Which Edward have I lost, lost forever?

The sudden realisation of this shattered my soul so completely, so without hope of surviving. It was like a glass vase had dropped from the sky and pulverised into dust as it came to rest with ground below and then to have the wind sweep up the dust of my soul in its fury as it scattered itself into the world and universe searching for my lost love. Neither Edward could I bear to live without – I couldn't even contemplate the outcome of being without either of them, it is beyond anything I can bear let alone live through. I heard the heart wrenching screams inside me rage louder than the burning flames – it was more than screams within me bellowing out the insanity of my despair. It was the purest form of pain I had ever felt that had unearthed the destruction of my soul without mercy.

Nothing compared to this, to the reverberating screams in me. It is louder than the cries of inconsolable angels weeping in the heavens with their tears raining down on earth in pity. TAKE ME NOW, TAKE ME, YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE LIKE THIS! I screamed and begged in my mind for release, to be taken from this one single moment it felt like I was being granted my wish.

"DON'T LEAVE ME BELLA, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE" Edward cried out to me with all the desperation and fear of losing me in his heartbroken voice.

I couldn't go, I couldn't leave him. To be without one of my Edward's would be unbearable enough on its own, but the thought of being without both had my mind imploding in on itself.

As if my heart heard his pleas it lurched into life thumping at an incredible speed as if it was racing to flee from the scorching flames eager to consume it.

"Yes! Bella yes stay with me." Edward's sobs flowed out of him but now from relief. I could feel his arms wrap around me through the flames. The touch of his skin cooled mine where it met soothing the seared flesh. His chest heaved hard as he spoke again

"I love you so much, if you only knew how much my love" His lips lovingly touched mine then my forehead.

I would give anything to respond to say out loud how much I loved him, to be held in his embrace as I sunk into his chest.

I love you to I said in my head instead hoping somehow I could reach him.

Having Edward so close, it eased my pain and offered me some ability to think things through. I am so confused right now. How is it possible to have two sets of memories, with both as real to me as the other. Neither which I would want to be imaginary which made this even harder to fathom. My existence with Tala had spanned over eighteen years. I had watched her grow, Edward and I were like second parents to her, and she was like my own daughter in many ways. Yet Renesmee was my daughter, I had fought for her to the point it nearly killed me, I love her more than my own life as I do Edward. A thought occurred to me as another flame fanned itself like a solar flare through my being.

Did I die? I contemplated this – that would make some sense for Edward being so upset. But which reality did I die in if I did? How can I know which was real, how will I cope if there was no Renesmee. My heart thundered uncontrollably thinking this as being a possibility. Edward has heard her thoughts, my little girl who loves and is loved unmeasurably, my baby, our baby... She has to be real – It truly felt I was being ripped to shreds, flayed – my heart ripped from my chest and offered to the beast of hell. I was in a freefall of losing my sanity; I just couldn't accept Renesmee not being my life. I won't!

But Tala – my little sister. This too is a reality I can't live without. I can't endure. She has my heart in every way possible. Everything about her is as precious to me as Renesmee. How Tala has the fire in her for life. How she is Jacob's mate in the future; they love each other so much. The imprinting... What we went through to stay close to her, to be with her. How she and Tehya had brought so much joy to Charlie and the Cullen family...

DON'T DO THIS – YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I cried out in my mind to the heavens above with anger and despair, maybe even hatred as my heart bled out the essence of my undying love for each reality.

I was trapped... caught in between my two worlds and yet not in either.

For the longest time – I had no gauge to measure it by, but it could have trapped here for hours, days, weeks, even years as I tumbled in this fiery pit of hell. Not knowing the fate of my two realities. Time itself could stop but it won't change the heartbreaking conclusion of what will be the equivalent to a death for me. One of my realities I will have to let go off. How do I do that? How do you say goodbye to a life? It isn't one person you lose, it is all of them. I feel so numb, even through the searing agony of the burning, I felt numb.

I had been over every aspect possible of working out which reality I was in. Nothing Edward has said so far offered any clues to work from; he was so focused on what was happening to me. Not that it mattered, losing either one was going to be as unbearable as the other. I had tried to come to terms with this, with losing either one. My mind was leaning towards Renesmee being my true life as my heart was beating. Though, it was also plausible, however unlikely, that something weird had happened to me in Tala's reality, that maybe my heart somehow found life again. Okay it wasn't very plausible at all but I won't let go of Tala being in my life.

"Carlisle, her heart" Edward said this as my heart took on a new rhythm that defied possibilities. I could hear his torment.

If nothing else, I could end this Edward's pain. When this hell was all over, he will have me in his arms again, he will find peace. But what of my other Edward, what would he be going through now... I had to shut that thought down, knowing exactly what he would do. Echo's of screaming, my screams of heartbreak and despair from that reality haunted me. It will shadow my existence for the rest of time.

It felt like I had burned for years, just like before. And had that been real, it felt real? I don't know. How could it be so but then how would I know how this burning felt like from before? It had to be real but seemed impossible that it could be. Although I it had been the most amazing life with Edward and my family. The first few weeks or so was filled with pain and so much sorrow, I could feel it all, and how everyone reacted. It was like I was in their heads, their thoughts... Bella there is your answer I said as my heart truly broke. I had seen it all, everything that was in there mind.

TALA! EDWARD! I mourned the loss my sister, I grieved for Edward. As that reality became untethered from me, I lost it... I lost me.

The combined pain of the flames reaching a sun going supernova and my heart racing to unbelievable speed that it sounded more like one constant noise instead of individual beats and finally realising that I must have dreamt my life with Tala and that Edward... It was too much, I wanted to die. My despair had found its limit. Even though if it had been Renesmee that didn't exist I would have died without hesitation it didn't make this better. How does one choose, it is impossible and can't be done. One was my daughter one was like my daughter in every way that mattered – I love them both with all that I am.

It was so real, how can it not be real... My minds torment was endless. If Edward's arms were not holding me, if he was not with me whispering his love for me right now while I burned, I would surely have died, I would be certain of it. I would command my heart to stop beating, I would command my breath to end – I would cease to be.

And yet I am still here, I still exist and I will not find peace ever again.

In all this time, I had not allowed my body to move one inch, I had locked down all my muscles as I had done in my dream state. I hated calling it that but I don't know what else to call it, my other life maybe?

I had choked back the sobs inside me, burying my grief to only exist inside so Edward would not know the pain I am in. I could not do that to him, no matter what I am going through, I will not surrender a moment of this... this... I don't even want to name it; to name it would give it validation and right now I couldn't give it more than it had already had. It consumed me as it is. Dream state or not, I know how Edward will react to it. Is it not enough that one of us is living in a hell that could never find an ending that will make all this right?

"It's time" Alice spoke; I only just became aware of her in the room. "Should I get the baby?"

"No, it will be safer to keep her away" Edward instructed.

What was he saying? She is probably the one thing that could ease my grief even if it was in the slightest degree I need my little girl. I need her and this Edward to tether me to this world. To ground me before all is lost in my mind.

My heart raced so fast, it lifted my body off the bed as if it was trying to escape from my chest. Edward's gasps and cries of horror startled me enough to pull my head out of its grief as the last beats of my heart fought a losing battle to beat down the flames burning me to a crisp. The audible sound of my heart stuttering signalled the end of its life. All I could think of was Edward, his arms were around me again as he gently lowered my upper body back down to the bed again.

"I have got you, Oh Bella I am so sorry" If he knew the true pain I was in I wondered what he would do, what could he do?

With the last moments of my heart thudding to a dead silence that will last for eternity, I was freed from the searing flames as it left my body and was replaced by a sweeping cool sensation all over me. I could open my eyes now but I wasn't ready just yet, will I ever be truly ready to begin my new life with no Tala and Tehya in it – without my other Edward?

"Please open your eyes for me Bella" Edward pleaded. I wanted to do his bidding to put him out of his torment, but I was afraid of my emotions, I need more time to compose myself.

"Carlisle?" I could hear the fear in his voice. I was torturing him, it wasn't fair. I hated being so selfish but what could I do?

"I don't know?" Carlisle replied anxiously.

"She is very troubled Edward, no, it is much more than that." I heard his breath hitch "Something has happened..." his breath caught again as his ability allowed him to feel my emotions. "Alice?" Jasper said fearfully.

"Bella can hear us, but there is something that has..." Alice's tone told me she was just as distraught "She looks heartbroken, like someone has died." Her voice trembled describing what she could see. My future except it was also my present.

I did feel some irritation though. I had wanted to spare Edward from my pain and anguish, but my family's abilities prevent this ever being a possibility. It is amazing really that it took them this long to pick up on what I am going through. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes for the first time, in this reality at least.

I instantly noticed that my vision was actually better than before. I am not talking about my human form; I mean the vampire memories I have. For a moment the particles of dust floating in the air caught my undivided attention, the way the light caught the particles and sparkled, it was actually quite soothing to look at. I chuckled in my mind. I just realised I will have to go through the annoying newborn stage again at being distracted by the slightest thing.

As I focused I realised my sense of smell was more acute as well as my hearing. I did not feel alarmed from the clarity I was sensing, it wasn't so over the top of what I had in my other life that I couldn't get a handle of it. If anything it was easier to appreciate what I had now.

Edward squeezed my hand gently startling me, I had momentarily forgotten he was there but my reaction had already occurred and I was already across the room in my hunting crouch. I surveyed the area out of instinct looking for danger. Of course nothing was out of order; it was just me being overly sensitive in my newborn stage. I straightened up at the speed of thought.

"Bella?" Edward said looking concerned at me. He approached me cautiously. He placed his hand on my cheek. To see his eyes, his face, to feel his touch, to breathe in his scent... that is all it took for my now silent heart to break. The tearless sobs I had contained inside of me all this time spilled out uncontrollably as my face pressed into his hand in comfort.

His arms were around me instantly pulling me in close to him.

"I am so sorry Bella, so sorry." I knew he would have thought I was upset about becoming a vampire. But I didn't have it in me to tell him what really caused me to cry so.

"I love you, I'll help you through this, I promise." He declared distraught over seeing me like this.

He had no idea of my grief, how could he. I sunk into him letting his love wrap around my pain. Edward held me till I was silent before lifting my chin so our eyes could meet.

"I had wanted to spare you this, but it is over now, the worst is over my love." He said kissing my forehead.

"Edward" It was the first time he had heard my vampire voice and I saw the joy it brought him. It was no different to how I remembered it from before, in my dream. But to him, to hear the melodious sound of my voice was like hearing an angel speak. I couldn't tell him what was troubling me, not now I won't take this happiness away from him. I tried to suppress my sorrow. It is a time for celebration for Edward, for them. For me to be one of them had been everyone's greatest wish, even Edward's. But on the other hand he didn't want this for me as he felt it was the most selfish thing he could ever do to me. He can be so mixed up sometimes. Either way, I will not ruin the happiness for any of them.

"Whatever it is Bella, you don't need to hide it from us" Jasper instantly picked up on what I was doing.

Oi! I didn't have to; they could manage to ruin it all on their little lonesome without any help from me. I thought sarcastically.

"Not now Jasper, I'm not ready" I tried to explain it to him gently. He nodded his reply but the look on his face and that of my family did not ease.

"I'm fine, really." I tried to ease their worries but I knew it was in vane.

"No you're not but I won't press you if you don't want to talk about it." Edward said softly.

"I need to see Renesmee" I tried to locate her myself. There were two heartbeats downstairs. One was Jacob's, I would recognise it anywhere. And the other would have to be my daughter. It was a little faster than a human heart which concerned me a little.

"Love I am not sure that is the best thing just yet. You must be thirsty." Edward tried to dissuade me.

"Not that much" I wasn't lying, I had felt worse.

"Anyway, Alice is dying to show me what I look like." I said without thinking. I heard gasps from both her and Edward.

"Can you read minds Bella?" Alice asked shocked that I had picked up on her intention.

"No of course not, I just know you" It seemed like a reasonable answer and it was the truth.

"It's more than that Bella" Jasper said with his eyebrows furrowing.

"You are reading more into it than need be Jasper" I tried to make light of his comment.

Alice went and got the mirror as expected and I saw myself dressed in a dusty pink silk floor length dress.

"Honestly Alice, how am I supposed to hunt in this?" I teased trying to lighten the mood. I looked exactly as I had before, my face, my hair and my eyes of course. I was model looking just like them. This seriously confused me though, with my theory of my other life being a dream. How could I have known what I was going to look like? Dreams don't work that way.

"Are you disappointed Bella?" Alice asked. I turned and looked at Edward.

"No, I know Edward is more than happy." I realised I said that flatly unintentionally.

"Bella what is it, what has you so sad?" He pleaded for me to tell him.

"Not now Edward, please I can't." I said lowering my head.

"You are scaring me" Edward's words shot a bit of a wake up to how I was behaving. I was trying to hide my pain but obviously I am not good at that. But I never have been.

"If I hunt with you now, will you let me see Renesmee? I have to see her Edward; you don't know how much I need this." I begged him.

"Yes of course, we can leave straight away." He replied.

I didn't give him a moment to think about anything else, nor did I want to be under any more scrutiny of the family. Even after all these years I still preferred to not be in the limelight. These years... I inwardly scoffed at myself. There is only so much I can take right now. The glass door was open and beckoned me to use it. I left the house surprising them all with how at ease I was to use my vampire abilities.

I stepped off, landing gracefully. Whispers from my family flooded the room I just left with speculations over what has happened to me. I was glad to be out of there, to be alone with Edward as we made our way down to the river's edge. He was about to tell me how to leap across but I distracted him as I leant down tearing the sides of the dress to accommodate the stride I need to take to make the fifty foot jump. Alice gasped her disapproval and I took the shoes off for good measure of her disappointment. What was she thinking putting me in this?

"Bella, do you want me to go first?" Edward asked gently.

"Not needed" I said taking a few steps back before retracing them and stepping off at the edge of the bank landing comfortably on the other side. He joined me seconds later.

"How did you do that? You are behaving like you have always been a vampire." Doing this had not eased his concern for me. Wait till he sees me hunt.

"I don't mean to upset you Edward, really I don't and I promise to explain everything but just not yet. Please be patient with me." My eyes could not meet his; I was barely holding it together. Being here were just reminders of Tala and Tehya, with Edward... wonderful memories that were only but a dream. I felt the burn in my eyes.

"Let's just hunt, maybe I will feel better with my thirst eased." I smiled weakly as I forced my face to not give away the heartbreak I felt inside.

"We can find some elk nearby; they would be easy to start off with." He offered.

"Whatever is out there, I am not concerned with what type of prey we find." I said again without thinking.

Edward stared at me in shock. He was about to talk to me again, to question. I would do the same if I was in his position but that didn't help me work this out now. All I know is that I was losing my mind and I wanted to hold Renesmee, to engrave her scent into me. To feel that she is real; I had to have that if nothing else.

"Don't... Please don't" I could feel the tearless sobs coming back. I had to move, to focus on something other than my grief.

"Let's go" I said taking off deeper into the forest without giving Edward the opportunity to discuss it. The look in his eyes, I was hurting him, I didn't want to but I was. How can I make him understand what I don't comprehend myself? This isn't some foolish dream of a human, it was more than that but how do I explain it.

It wasn't long before I caught the scent of some elk. I automatically fell into my hunting crouch and ghosted my way to them. Edward was close behind me, I could sense it but we have hunted together for so long and it was comforting to have him there.

No Bella! I chastised myself, we haven't I only think we have. The searing burn in my throat tried to take my thoughts out of the confusion consuming my mind, but it wasn't enough. How could I know how to hunt if I haven't done this before, to be able to do this as if I have hunted for years? As I approached the elk I tried to focus on soothing my thirst, I was so close when another scent distracted me.

It was faint but definitely human. Like a child, I let my hopes fill me that it might be someone I knew, I allowed myself to follow the scent. In my heart I wanted desperately for it to be Tehya though I knew this was impossible, I knew her scent and what I was following was not hers. I stayed on course though; I had to be sure it wasn't her before I broke off my pursuit. I was not hunting these humans; I was no danger to them at all and was able to easily suppress my thirst while I fed my curiosity instead. Edward called out for me to stop but I didn't. He was close to catching me but I flew harder, as the trees and shrubs blurred into oblivion. I had to see who it was out here with us.

After the years I had spent with alongside humans... What am I saying... Years? It was a dream... just a crazy mixed up dream. Bella get a grip please. I begged myself. But I couldn't stop; I had to know for sure it wasn't Tehya or even Tala, however unlikely that could be the thought of the slightest possibility of it being Tala warmed my heart. I got close enough to see them and felt my heart hit the ground with an almighty thud. Of course I knew this but I didn't want to believe it. The human couple before me in the distance was not anybody I have met before.

I let out an audible sob as I crumbled to the ground.

"It's not her" Without thinking I pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them as my head nestled on top while my tearless sobs engulfed me.

"What is it? I don't understand, how can you... Bella please talk to me I beg of you" Edward was kneeling in front of me. He was frightened, confused and in shock.

"Who did you think it was?" His arms wrapped around me as he moved to be next to me.

In between my sobs I spoke her name "Tala" my voice broke. "It's not her and can never be her" I cried sinking my aching body into his loving arms.

"I don't understand, who is Tala?" he held me tighter. When I heard him say her name, I trembled as it cut deeper into my soul.

"You will never believe me, oh Edward I don't believe it myself but it hurts, like she died and I will never see her again" I sobbed.

"Of course I will believe you, tell me – let me help you" he begged.

"Not here" I choked on my words trying to speak "I can't look at them, it only hurts more" I said burying my face into his chest. I don't want to feel this, it isn't fair. Edward stood up slowly. Moments later, he picked me up, cradling me in his arms as he carried me away from the humans. He wasn't running at full speed but fast enough to put much needed distance between us and them.

His head rested on mine the entire time, sheltering me protectively. Eventually he came to a stop but kept me in his warm safe embrace.

"There scent is gone" he said kissing my head.

"Bella, my love, please I beg of you, tell me what has made you this way. I want to help" his hold on me tightened as I felt his own pain take hold.

"It's killing me to see you like this" His face buried into my hair as he tried to hide the anguish he felt.

I felt wretched, this would be torment to him, the cruellest kind and I had to stop this now.

"Put me down Edward" I said trying to gather my wits. To explain what I have experienced will take time and the elks were close by, my thirst burned brighter than the sun. I had to make a choice.

He set me on my feet carefully; ready to take me in his arms again at the slightest hint of me losing it again. I cupped his face in my hands as I looked deep into his sad eyes. I put that look on his face, it's my fault that he was so torn up inside. He has been through the worst possible hell for me so I could give birth to our daughter and nearly dying in the process and this is what I give him when I finally am able to be everything he has ever wanted. I felt the shame wash over me, making me wince at my selfishness.

"I am so sorry Edward, you don't know how sorry I am for hurting you like this. I never wanted to..." I didn't get another word out, his lips wrapped around mine with urgency not of passion but of love. If we were in the other reality I would have opened my mind to him and soothed any pain he was feeling, I would fill him with the passion of our love that is matched by none. I would... Or could I? The thought strayed into my mind, could I open my mind to him? It would make explaining what I believe happened to me a lot easier. I had to find out, but I didn't want to overwhelm him.

Edward I said in my head hoping he could hear me. I felt foolish for testing this, how could a dream be real, how could I know what to do if it was a dream. Edward's lips froze and his eyes flew open.

"You heard me didn't you?" I said cautiously.

"How?" he gasped. I could see the mixed emotions of happiness and turmoil written across his face.

"Please don't be alarmed" I tried to smooth the creases of his brow.

"I love you" I love you more than my own life. I ended the last part in my thoughts for him. His eyes closed feeling the impact of what we can share sink in. I wasn't sure what I should be feeling myself. It can't be coincidence that I knew how to open my mind to Edward, to let him hear my thoughts. I feel relieved that I can, more than that I could break into laughter I felt so happy that I could do this still but at the same time this only made my confusion worse. Did I live in the other reality as well, was it real? In the other reality it took practice to master this control but here it is as easy as it had been in the other place.

I wanted to share my thoughts with him so much but I didn't want to overdo it with him either. It wasn't hard for me to open and close the link. At least this way I could do this in stages for him, let him adjust to me being inside his head.

"Edward?" I said softly as I held his face in my hands. There was no response. I couldn't help questioning myself over what I had done, he must be overwhelmed. "Please Edward, I didn't mean to upset you" His eyes flew open but they were filled with love.

"Do it again for me, please" I felt my heart melting seeing him like this. He wasn't overwhelmed as I feared. The look in his eyes...

Kiss me you fool I spoke in my mind opening the connection between us briefly. He smiled that crooked smile I love so much just before his lips brushed over my parted ones as he claimed my mouth passionately. The fire burned deep within me for his love as I wrapped myself around him. I let slip my control as an errand thought from the other reality of us together broke through in my mind. Edward gasped feeling the full impact of the passion but froze. I broke the link instantly regretting my lack of control. He would have no memory of us together like that; it came from my other life. I can only imagine how this would make him feel.

"I'm sorry, oh Edward I'm so sorry" I said biting my bottom lip fearing the pain I may have caused him. His eyes flicked to mine as I saw him struggling to comprehend what he had just seen. The confusion could not be half as great as mine but I still didn't want him to feel this way. I tried to step away, to give him space to collect his thoughts. But he had a tight hold of me securing me to him.

"Don't move please" he said quietly.

"I'm sorry, please forgive me" If I could take back what I did I would. I felt self loathing swell inside me. How could I do that to him, I have better control than that, or at least in my other life I did.

"Forgive, what do you need forgiveness for?" He asked but his tone was flat. Not cold just not animated.

"For showing you something you weren't ready for." I explained.

"Don't say that Bella, don't say you regret sharing your mind with me." His breath hitched

"It is the greatest gift you could give me" he said pulling me into him.

"I just don't understand the thought you have of us together. Don't get me wrong it was wonderful, beyond wonderful but I don't understand where it came from. The imagination is not that clear." He looked down to see my face

"What was that Bella?"

"I can explain some of it and I want to tell you what I know as I am so confused right now." My voice sounded how I felt, uncertain on what is real. For all I knew I could be in a dream right now and what I remember from my other life was real. But then I wouldn't have Renesmee. Again, I can't live without either reality. My eyes flickered as the flames in my throat burned excruciatingly with the elk so nearby. Would I be able to concentrate with my thirst teetering on the extreme? I have done it before but not here. My hand flew to my throat instinctively as I tried to quell the need to feed.

"Bella your thirst, I'm sorry... You need to hunt." He said covering my hand around my throat gently.

"I think so to, I can't think like this very well." I agreed. He released my hand. It felt strange how my body wanted to just follow his hand, to just keep it close to me, touching me. He smiled at my reaction to this.

"I could keep my mind open to you while I hunt but would that be too much for you Edward?" I thought if I could show him my memories of things I have done it may make it easier for him to understand what I would tell him.

"That way you can hunt at the same time and you will see some things that I need to explain later." I added.

"So you are saying you know how to hunt and feel at ease doing so alone?" Edward questioned me. I could see the surprise in his expression at my independence.

"I am never alone when you have my thoughts, am I?" I said as a matter of fact then realised that he would never have seen it that way between us before.

"No, but..." His frown was back

"Keep your thoughts open if you don't mind but I would prefer to keep watch if that is okay." He said hesitantly.

I understood though, of course he would have no knowledge of what I knew and it is reasonable for him to be protective.

Of course I don't mind I said opening my mind. It made sense for him to need time to adjust and I will try my hardest to keep my thoughts to the wonderful times we have... that I have shared with him in my other life. I corrected myself.

I kissed him on the lips as I brought my feelings for him to my mind but kept the thoughts... tame. At least I thought I had until he scooped me up in his arms increasing the passion of our kiss.

I laughed in my mind. I won't be able to hunt with you doing that to me I teased.

A little growl escaped his chest from desire "It's your own fault for having such thoughts" he said cheekily.

"I could easily get use to this!" His lips found mine again and for a brief moment I showed him the tiniest of a hint more.

''Bella..." he gasped drawing out my name as he said it. I found myself hard against a tree suddenly with his body pressed into mine. I wanted him so much; only his touch could soothe my pain away.

My Edward. I said in my mind.

"Stop doing that or you will never satisfy your thirst" he chuckled but not releasing his hold of me.

My thirst for you would be I gave him a wicked smile before I took possession of his lips once more. I refrained from showing him more of my memories; I wasn't sure how much he could take at one time with him being so new to hearing me in his mind. But I had other memories of us together, from this reality, softer gentler ones of us not being intimate.

I could feel myself losing my focus as the flames in my throat eased, banished from his touch. Just like on our honeymoon, I could last a long time without hunting so long as I had Edward holding me, loving me. It was he that broke the spell I was under when he pulled away from me. My groan of displeasure amused him greatly.

"Did I dazzle you my love" he asked with his soft chuckles.

Even after all these years, yes you can still dazzle me like it was the first time I sighed.

"Years?" he questioned. I knew I had said too much again. This is going to be harder than I thought with my mind open to him. I closed it to avoid further mistakes.

"No, Oh Bella no, please don't shut me out." His face looked tortured as he pleaded with me to keep my mind open. I knew what it did to him in my other life, why should it be any different here.

"I would but until I explain what has happened I am worried what it might do to you in the mean time. Let me hunt then we need to talk, even before I see our daughter." I hoped this would ease the emotional pain he suffers being parted from my mind. Though I was surprised how quickly he was affected to not hear me.

"Okay, I do want to hear what has got you behaving so strangely, I won't deny Bella I am worried." He said easing the features on his angelic face to smooth out.

"I know, I won't take long hunting I promise." It was an easy promise to make, in my head I had only hunted last night I didn't feel the need to feed on more than two elks.

"Please hunt yourself, your eyes... Edward, please feed you are in more dire need than I."

"I'm fine Bella, don't worry." He said firmly but without aggression.

"It goes both ways Edward – It is impossible for me to not worry when I see you like this. Hunt with me or this is going to take a long time." I pressed.

"Not on the first one at least, not until I know you are alright." He cupped my chin making his point clear. When he did this he was unmovable in his thoughts and I knew better than to fight him on this so I agreed by nodding.

I turned a let the scent of the nearby elk fill my senses and went into my hunting crouch, ghosting towards my prey. I took the nearest animal with ease and hardly disturbing the rest of the herd with my discretion. I could hear Edward gasp at the expertise of how I hunted. It was then I opened my mind to speak with him as I drank deep my prey's blood.

You see now I am able to hunt without problems. Please take your turn Edward, hunt with me. I pleaded with him.

"How are you doing all this, breaking off from hunting humans, hunting like this that takes years of practice? How Bella?" he was bewildered and that worried me.

I will tell you everything after you have hunted, I promise. This was not the time to get into discussions, not until he has fed.

"You are not going to budge on this are you?" he knew the answer to that already but I gave him my reply anyway.

Not an inch I smiled as I pushed the drained animal away from me. You take the next one, please.

That frown on his forehead would have usually suggested he wouldn't back down but on this occasion he relented. Falling into his crouch he made for his prey. I followed closely behind him. Like we... No, not we, like I had done with him in my other life on many occasions; I hunted a fleeing elk stray he was not after. Doing this we were able to stay within close proximity of each other. He saw how close I was to him when he was feeding of his prey and looked shocked, he went to talk but I interrupted him.

I'll explain after remember. Just feed Edward, I will always be near you I promise. I reassured him.

Edward did as I asked but I could see his mind ticking over trying to make sense of all of this. When he finished his prey he came over to where I was as I finished off the one I had. He reached his hand for mine to help me stand. I loved these little gestures of his, he is such a gentleman.

"I am starting to wonder how long we will need for me to understand all of this." He half smiled but it was confusion that consumed him.

"That could be forever, when you hear it all I have to say and I am not sure you will believe me. I don't even know myself of what to believe." I said nervously again.

"Anything you tell me Bella I will believe." He said cupping my face in his warm hand. There was a slight rose to his cheeks after feeding that I loved to see, that and his butterscotch eyes but he will need at least another two bucks to achieve that.

We went deeper in again to where on occasion we would find mountain lions. Edward's favourite. I picked up on the scent of a grizzle though, the next best thing to lion for Edward.

It's all yours Edward I offered.

"No, I want to see how you handle a grizzly" he said curious on my abilities.

I am happy to capture it for you but I don't have enough room in me to feed on it alone. I stated.

"Sharing works for me" he smiled.

The grizzly was a large male and I could sense Edward tensing up when I didn't hesitate tackling the animal as it tried to lash out. I remembered the first one I had tried to take on in my other life, how my clothes were torn from its sharp claws. But not anymore, it wasn't able to land one swipe on me before I sunk my teeth in and had the animal to the ground. Edward joined me instantly but the look of amazement was clear.

I began sharing my mind with him with other times I have hunted as he neared finishing off the bear. I was full, so full I was bloated. I didn't like feeling this way much but it was more important that Edward be at ease with me hunting confidently.

Are you full or near? I asked. He looked up and I saw the butterscotch colour in his eyes that I love. He would be alright if we stopped now so he didn't really need to answer me.

"I am content" It was clear he didn't want to waste time in hearing my explanation.

I got up and went to the nice bit of grass that was nearby then sank down to my knees waiting for him to join me. It didn't take long as he was right behind me. He faced me and I took his hand in mine.

Where to start... I said in my head.

"The beginning is usual." He smiled.

That is just it; I don't know where the beginning is Edward. This is going to be very confusing for you to understand as it is for me to understand my two realities. I tried to explain.

"Realities?" he questioned.

Yes, I have two sets of memories and both are very real to me. I have this one with you and Renesmee but then I have another life that is just as real where I don't have Renesmee but I have a sister called Tala and a step mother called Tehya. Edward, we are... I sighed correcting myself, we were like second parents to Tala, and she became our world. I took a deep breath as I felt my heart breaking thinking of her. We have had nearly eighteen years with her in my other reality – that was before I was torn away from her.

"I don't understand how you can have spent eighteen years of your life with this child Tala and ..." His eyes were wide with trying to understand how and what could have made me believe this, I could tell by the look in his eyes that he thought it was all a dream or something.

Let me show you Tala, with us together. Tell me if I overwhelm you though. He nodded his reply.

I closed my mind and slowly went through the years of her life with us from birth to that moment in the cafeteria where I left. I didn't hold back the emotions we felt for her either. I put in all the highlights of our wonderful life that we shared.

Edward was frozen watching the images in my mind. I wish I could know what he was thinking, what he thought seeing all this. What he thinks of our precious Tala. Seeing her in my mind made the ache I feel for her loss even harder to bear. It was a long time before Edward spoke when I showed him the last moment of us together in my other life.

"She is beautiful" he said quietly as his head hung low. "It wasn't a dream from when you were human, I have seen other human dreams Bella and that wasn't one." He took a deep breath in to settle his mind.

"I thought so as well but I don't understand how I can have two separate lives. It's killing me inside Edward, I can't live without either life and yet I have lost that one with Tala." I tried to explain my grief. I didn't tell him how losing the other Edward was excruciatingly painful. They were the same people but different lives, different experiences.

"What is the first thing you remember from that other life?" He asked trying to help.

"Victoria, she was... It was with her that started everything, which feels real at least." I didn't want to tell him what she did to me. There are some things he didn't need to know.

"What has Victoria got to do with all of this?" Of course he wanted to hear this but how could I explain it to him without going into detail.

"She had found me at the meadow instead of Laurent. Actually, in my other life Laurent is a friend of the family but in this one he is... Irina!, what she must be feeling, they loved each other so much." I could feel the sobs surfacing remembering them as a loving couple, another part of my other life I have lost.

"Bella he tried to kill you, how can you mourn him?" I showed Edward how, with the wonderful memories of the times we shared with the Denali family.

When it was done I said "That's how"

"It is very strange to see him like that; it doesn't seem real that he stayed with them so long." Edward was confused at that reality.

"But what happened with Victoria?" he asked.

She died; Jacob and his pack killed her. Not thinking, a moment of what she did to me filtered into my thoughts. As soon as I saw it I closed the door but it was too late. Edward was on his feet mortified at what she had done to me.

"I'm sorry!" I nearly yelled pulling him into arms. I knew how it would hurt him to see that. I was angry with myself for being so stupid in allowing those thoughts to enter my mind. I had learnt to have better control than that, what was wrong with me?

"You... You survived that?" he choked back his emotions his face expressing his horror.

"You saved me, you changed me from human to vampire" I showed him our time together, but made sure it was only the happy memories this time and none of the first few weeks or so together where we struggled to find our way.

"You really are my protector, in both lives you have saved me from certain death." I buried my face into his chest as his arms wrapped around me. I showed Edward our wedding.

"You look stunning" he said with his breath catching.

That is nothing compared to the honeymoon I said as I brought up a snippet of the images with us making love while drinking the human blood. His mouth was on mine claiming me passionately as we fell from the force he took me by. My back pressed against the grass as his growls rumbled through his chest above me. It wouldn't be long before I knew he wouldn't be able to resist taking our desires further. I just wanted him to have a taste of our love in that reality, how incredible it was. I closed my thoughts of this.

"No, don't Oh Bella..." his breathing ragged from feeling the most amazing love making any vampire could dream of and that was just from a hint from a memory. To feel it was something else.

If I showed you more we would never leave this spot I giggled.

"Who says I would want to leave" he teased.

"Renesmee" I reminded him. I still had to see my daughter.

"Of course" he frowned but kissed my lips softly trying to pull me back under his spell.

Edward... I sighed softly in my mind opening it up to him again, I couldn't resist. His touch alone is enough to distract me from anything. But the vastly different emotional swing I was feeling was enough for me to lose my mind. I couldn't separate myself from my other life, it is too real and the pain of losing it is overwhelming, but to be in his arms here and the thought of seeing my daughter very soon brought me the greatest happiness.

My mind drifted to Tala and Jacob and their love. For so long we waited for their relationship to change from best friends to lovers as it had done for other imprinted couples but for some reason Jacob's affection never changed like it should have. Tala wasn't upset about it as such but she had craved the love and affection of a relationship. That should have been enough for the imprinting to follow its natural course. I will never see it happen; I will never see my little sister get married to my best friend. I will never see my father happy as he had been with Tehya. He adored her and I had a suspicion he would change his mind about becoming a vampire so he could stay with her. But I will never know this now.

"Jacob and Tala are imprinted?" Edward sounded shocked at this news.

"Yes, he was devoted to her but never committed at the end which we could never understand." I explained. "Why?" I asked.

"It isn't something I can talk about now but there are a few differences in your 'realities' it seems." Edward was obviously deep in thought.

Do you have any idea what has happened to me, how I can have two separate lives? If he had a theory I wanted to hear it.

"Not really but it wasn't there before Renesmee was born." Edward breath hitched and his eyes opened wide.

"What?"

"I don't want to frighten you but..." he hesitated telling me his thoughts.

"Edward, don't hold back I have to know if you have an idea, a thought, anything that may explain all this." I begged.

"I know Bella, it's just... You died" His face twisted from pain saying this. "After Renesmee was born your heart stopped and you were gone for sometime before I got you back." Edward choked on his words. "I was so frightened that I had lost you Bella, it almost killed me when that happened." He pulled me in hard into his embrace.

I felt numb... "I died?"

"Yes my love" I felt his kisses on my head. "I'm sorry" he apologized.

"Why are you sorry?" I said as I tried to wrap my head around that I had died.

"For letting you get so far from me. I can never go through that again." his voice was so sad, heartbreakingly so.

"I am not going anywhere Edward; I am here with you for life." I promised holding him tight.

"But you did leave Bella and somehow you had another life with us together but not here, not with me here. It is the only explanation of how you know so much, of how to be a vampire and how everything is like second nature to you." He explained.

"I didn't mean to leave" I felt like I had betrayed Edward in having this other life. Guilt swept through me like the fire did when I transformed into a vampire.

"Oh Bella no, that is not what I mean" he looked mortified

"I was just saying that it is a possible explanation to how you have this second life." He pulled away from me so he could look into my eyes.

"Where you were I do not know, but I do believe you have been separated from this reality somehow." He said keen to explain himself.

I couldn't conceal my pain; the thought of ever leaving him was more than I could bear. We had been together the entire eighteen years sharing our lives, our love, but that was my other life not this one. Here I am back in my infancy of being a vampire, not the easiest thing to do. But the memories were still a part of me and I could not separate them from my life now.

"The self control you have, the way you were able to break off your hunt of the humans" he shook his head in amazement of what he has seen.

"I wasn't hunting them Edward, I just wanted to see if it was someone I may have known from my other life... Tehya or Tala to be exact which is crazy I know but you don't know how upsetting this is to me to not have them in my life, our lives." I paused as I tried to hold back the tearless sobs in me.

"I knew it wasn't them, their scent is much different but I had to look, the need in me is overwhelming to find Tehya." I said almost beseechingly.

"We are not going to find her here, we should head back." He suggested.

"Yes, I really need to hold Renesmee in my arms. She is like a dream to me still." I said sadly. "I have to hold her before she will seem real to me I think."

"She is a dream Bella, she is magical. I can hardly find words to tell you about her, there are not enough of them to capture how wonderful our daughter is." Edward said so proudly.

"Tell me about her, what does she look like?" I asked as we made our way back to the house.

"She has your looks but my colour hair. Bella Renesmee is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen apart from you of course." He chuckled "And she has a way of communicating that is surprising. I won't tell you how as it is hard to describe but Bella she is so precious and has everyone wrapped around her tiny little fingers." The love he felt for her was overwhelming, I felt a pang of jealousy for the connection they already shared.

"I can't wait to see her" I ran faster and leapt over the river with ease only to be headed off by Jacob. Edward held me close to him.

"What is wrong?" I looked at him for his hold on me. I breathed in deeply trying to see if there was any danger. I picked up on two other scents, it was Seth and Leah but I still didn't see any cause for alarm. "Edward?"

"Jacob wants to see how you react to him before you get closer to Renesmee." Edward said annoyed. "It isn't necessary Jacob" he said.

"Jake, what is wrong? Are you frightened of me?" I thought maybe the eyes would be throwing him a bit.

"You are pretty freaky looking?" he laughed.

"Watch yourself mongrel" Edward hissed.

"No it's fine Edward. I know what you mean Jake; it's the eyes that are distracting huh." I laughed.

"There is a lot about you that is different Bella, but damn you are something else to look at." He laughed.

"I'll take that as a compliment." I couldn't help grinning at him.

"Well let's get this show on the road shall we?" he said becoming a little more serious and at the same time Seth and Leah came out of hiding. They were in wolf form.

"Seth! Leah!" I was so happy to see them. It was obvious they were confused with how I was reacting but if they only knew how we had become such close friends. They were family after all through Tehya. I went to hug them but Jacob blocked my path.

"Jake?" I questioned.

"Me first Bella, not them" He said seriously.

"Aww Jake, I didn't know you wanted a hug so bad." I laughed and wrapped my arms around him without hesitation. He shivered. I realised what I was doing wrong, they didn't know me this way and were not ready for me to be quite so affectionate towards them in this reality. I couldn't help the disappointment surfacing. "I'm sorry Jake; I don't mean to frighten you."

I kept my distance from Seth and Leah but in my heart I was leaping for joy seeing them. It occurred to me ask them something important to me.

"Seth, have you seen Tehya recently?" I hoped like crazy that they had a cousin called that but the nervousness in my voice was obvious for the possibility she may not exist.

"How do you know about my cousin, she is like my second or third cousin removed, how could you possibly know about her?" Edward replied for him.

"It is hard to explain" I nearly squealed my delight. "And does she visit often?" I pressed.

"She has been a lot since my father died." Leah snorted but Seth gave her a little growl. I wondered what that was about.

"I think she is keen on your dad Bella" Edward said the most heavenly words for Seth. I spun round looking at Edward as my heart burst with joy. I was laughing and crying at the same time hearing this news. Edward took me in his arms.

Edward, she is here I haven't lost her or Tala, they just haven't arrived in this reality yet. I let my happiness flow out of me as cried so hard in his arms. He waited for me to settle before he spoke.

Seth whimpered seeing me break down like this.

"Bella?" Jacob was just as worried about me.

"I'll explain later to you both." Edward said to them, keeping me tight in his arms.

"It's wonderful Bella, we will have to ask Alice what she sees for them" He said affectionately. Edward's warm arms wrapped me in his cocoon of love where I found my sanctuary.

Seth trotted over to me, nuzzling me out of concern.

"I'm fine, don't worry." I said turning a little so I could stroke the fur on his neck.

"You need to see our daughter." Edward said warmly to me.

"Are you sure she is safe" Jacob questioned.

"Perfectly, she is no danger to Renesmee whatsoever." He replied firmly.

"Maybe she needs more time." Jacob was being stubborn; it didn't make sense for him to be so protective of her.

"You've had your test, she is fine." Edward hissed.

Test? All this was his test of Jacob's? I didn't understand Jacob at all, this wasn't' like him. He paused for a moment before running into the house. His behaviour was very odd.

"Come on, let's get you and Renesmee reacquainted" Edward said cheerfully and I liked the sound of that. He led the way to the moment I have been waiting for, for a long time.

When we got upstairs where the family were waiting I could see the worried looks on their faces.

Edward, they are making me nervous I said in my mind.

"I know, I can feel you tense up" He said gently putting his arm around my waist.

What are they worried about, surely they don't think I would hurt my own daughter? I asked.

"They are here just in case, not one of them want any harm to come to our little girl." He replied.

"You are reading her mind?" Alice said shocked.

"Yes, I can hear her thoughts" Edward grinned

"Since when?" Emmett's shock was as evident as Alice's.

"Much will be revealed later about Bella but please be calm she is... Perfect!" I thought that was an odd thing for him to say but it was said lovingly.

"Perfect?" I teased. It was then that Rosalie brought Renesmee into the room. I had to look hard, this was not an infant in her arms – she looked more like a child of... much older than a few days, more like months. She could support her own weight not needing any help at all.

"How long was I out for?" I questioned.

"Bella she grows rapidly but she is less than a week old." Carlisle explained.

This sent me reeling back a little. "How rapidly?"

I saw the concern in Carlisle's face. My eyes flicked to Edward's and he was just as worried.

"Don't be alarmed Bella, she is perfectly healthy. Renesmee just grows very quickly." Carlisle said with a very reassuring tone that did not match his facial concern.

The child raised her hand to Rosalie's face. "Yes that is her" she said to her.

"Renesmee?" I was trying to wrap my head around seeing this much older child. She quickly responded to me smiling brightly, I could see she had teeth already making me gasp with shock.

I turned to Edward confused. "I know love but she is ours" I looked back at her.

I could see a lot of Edward in her, especially the hair colour. There was a little of me in there as well. The eyes especially, the deep brown eyes that hold many secrets are exactly what mine were like and the same as my fathers. Within moments everything clicked inside me that accepted she was my baby girl.

"Renesmee" I said again but this time with my hands out ready to hold my little girl. But my family blocked the path to her.

"What's wrong?" I questioned annoyed.

"Let her through, Bella has this." Edward defended me.

"It's too soon, she is a newborn Edward." Jasper said but I saw the confusion in his eyes.

"No it isn't, truly she has complete control over herself. If you could have seen her will we were out hunting, she didn't even attempt to hunt the humans that were out there. Bella only went after them to see if she recognized anyone." Gasps were heard throughout the room.

"Oh poor Bella, we should have gone with you" Esme declared.

"No seriously, she didn't need anyone's help; she was in complete control the entire time." He said kissing my head he was so proud and I almost chuckled at this reaction. If only they knew how easy it was for me to be around humans. "Let her through, she is no danger to our daughter."

Jasper held fast

"Search her emotions Jasper; do you sense anything aggressive about her?" Edward questioned.

"No but..." he went to say more but Edward interrupted him placing his hand on Jasper's shoulder to indicate for him to move. He did but was not happy about it.

Jacob took Renesmee from Rosalie. "It's too soon!" he said possessively of her. His behaviour was really starting to annoy me.

"Please let me hold her" I said. I felt like I was going to burst if I didn't have her in my arms soon.

Jacob hesitated.

"Now" Edward said threateningly.

Jacob didn't like it but handed me Renesmee but kept hold of her still. Her scent was delicious but not in the food kind way but heavenly so. We looked into each other's eyes smiling. Her hand touched my face and my mind was sent reeling with flashes of images flooding my mind. Jacob took her from me breaking the connection.

"What was... that?" It was overwhelming seeing all those images in my head.

"I know what you mean; she is pretty special isn't she. That is how she communicates with us" Edward cooed taking her from Jacob's arms into his.

"Yes, so perfect." I couldn't believe she was so advanced and had a gift like Edward as well. I felt the love between us flow through me. There was no doubt in my mind of who she was, she is my baby girl. Edward handed her back to me.

"No!" Jacob almost yelled.

"What is your problem?" I looked at him and saw the way he looked at her. I have seen him like that before when...

"NO!" He took her back again and I didn't stop him. The family closed ranks around her as Edward's arms wrapped around me like a cobra snake.

A red haze formed over my eyes.

"Rosalie – take Renesmee" I instructed. Jacob didn't put up a fight.

"How could you, my daughter!" I hissed at him

"Edward, I don't want to hurt you so please release me." He hesitated.

"Stand with Renesmee." He let go of me to be with our daughter but his eyes never left me.

"Bella it wasn't something I planned and you said yourself that we were to be family." He backed away from me.

"With Tala you fool not my daughter!" My anger was coming through. I felt Jasper's warm and fuzzies ability flood me. My eyes flicked to him and hissed. He backed off the amount he was using on me.

"Who is Tala?" Jacob asked anxiously.

"My sister... at least one day she will be" I felt the confusion cloud my thoughts.

"So you can see the future?" Alice said a little put out.

"No, but I know about her and Tehya" my jaw was tight.

"Bella love, they have no possible way of knowing about Tala or Tehya" Edward tried to calm me.

"But she will exist; he belongs with her and certainly not with Renesmee to become our son-in-law!"

"Yes but as you said Tala and Jacob didn't make the final connection did they, maybe that is why, they weren't really destined to be together." I couldn't believe Edward was defending this dog.

"I have no idea what you are talking about but Nessie likes me. You must see that Bella" Jacob interjected.

"What did you call her?" I roared and he backed away more.

Leah growled at me warningly. I snarled back at her.

"Back off Leah" Jacob commanded. She snorted in reply.

"Oh come on Bells, you have to admit that name you picked out doesn't roll off the tongue easily." He defended himself.

"So you thought I would be okay to you nicknaming her after the Loch Ness Monster?" My voice shrilled from the anger burning brightly in me and to add insult to injury that he would do this that he would imprint on Renesmee instead of Tala. He belonged with Tala! He was messing with destiny, how could he do this to Tala? I couldn't help myself I lunged for him I was so furious I saw red. Seth jumped into between us taking the brunt of my attack.

His yelping tore me away from my fury. I hurt him... Edward had me wrapped in his arms tightly but all I could do was see my friend, my family... doubled over in pain from what I had done to him. I was mortified at my actions. I felt wretched, I felt sick, how could I hurt Seth, the gentlest wolf and friend I have ever known.

Let me go to him please, Edward please I have to go to him I cried out in my mind to him. He let go of me but stayed close.

"Seth, I am so sorry, let me help you" I begged as his whimpers tore away at my heart.

"Carlisle, help him please" My eyes flicked to him pleading my need for action.

"Of course" Carlisle said gently.

My hand stroked the fur of Seth's neck "Forgive me, oh Seth I am so sorry" my breath hitched as my sobs came flowing out of me.

"Can you help him?" I searched Carlisle eyes for reassurance.

"I am not use to treating their kind in wolf form. Seth you need to become human for me please." Carlisle asked him.

"What do you mean; you have done it a thousand times? What's wrong with him?" I panicked, for Carlisle to not treat immediately something must be seriously wrong.

"Bella you are thinking of your other life, it's not from here love." Edward's arms tightened around me as his words brought my realities crashing in together again.

"No! He can..." UGH! I cried out as my mind swam with memories. They stacked on top of each other trying to merge, they were the same, they were different, the images flashed so violently in my mind trying to find a place in this reality.

"Jasper help her!" Edward yelled out, he could see my mind folding in on itself. His hands cupped my face but all I saw were the frantic flickering of images.

"I would if I could get a hold on her emotions; she is all over the place. What the hell has happened to her?" His voice full of fear could only begin to scratch the service of what I was feeling right now.

"Bella focus on me, I am here, focus on ME!" I tried to look at Edward but my eyes kept flicking to the different spots in the room where memories collided with each other. The echo's of my other life from my head fought for rite of passage here in this reality. I couldn't make sense of any of it, what I know, what is what was... My legs gave way under me; I was losing a battle I didn't know I had to fight.

"BELLA!" Edward yelled as he lowered me to the ground.

"Help me!" I cried out weakly in desperation. My mind was in an overload freefall. Jasper was feeding off my emotions sending them back to me in a whiplashing reaction; he was caught in this nightmare. Everything I was feeling with each fleeting emotion was being magnified back onto me with dire consequences. My eyes rolled back as the last parts of my sanity was preparing to surrender under the pressure.

"STOP IT BELLA!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HIM STOP IT NOW!" Alice begged.

Edward lips were on mine as he kissed me hard. "FOCUS ON ME BELLA, ON THIS" he said urgently.

His hands held my face to his as he plunged his tongue deep inside me overwhelming my senses with his scent, his touch. My need for Edward had always ruled my head, it had always taken precedence. Inch by inch I felt the crazed frenzy of my mind surrender to Edward's touch. I could see the images screech though my mind but Edward was in there with me now as well. As if doing a double take the images braked to feel the power of his love that was swimming inside of me, lapping up the sensuality of his kisses.

"That's right, come back to me Bella, feel me here." He whispered in my ear. He nuzzled my throat as he had seen in my memories knowing how I loved that as he worked his lips up to mine again. My mind calmed as my body took control of it with my desire for Edward.

"What the hell just happened?" Emmett said bewildered.

"Later" Edward replied as he kept his focus on me. He picked me up in his arms and took me to our room. He laid me down on our bed keeping his eyes firmly fixed on me.

The moment his touch left me my mind began to spiral again. His hand cupped my face slowing the flickering memories down.

"I won't let you go; I will hold you for as long as you want me to." He said as he lay next to me wrapping his arms around me.

My mind recalled our love making from my other life. "No fair Bella" He groaned as his body immediately reacted to this.

I don't want fair, I want you. I need you! I made it clear how I wanted him. I knew making love with him would keep my mind on him solely. Nothing else could enter my mind when we were together that way. I intensified my memories, I hoped he wouldn't be able to resist.

"Bella!" His body pressed into mine as he was losing his ability to resist.

"No, not yet" he said through his ragged breathing.

"I have to say Love that other life you have had it's..." Edward couldn't resist pressing into me again as his lips found mine. But he didn't lose his focus to my disappointment and frustration.

I shouldn't be surprised; he always took care of me first before his own needs. It was then that I realised my mind had calmed considerably. I laughed softly; he had this unique ability to soothe my troubles... Okay that was more than troubles it was a meltdown of the supernova kind but being in his arms alone was what I needed and he knew this instinctively.

Being this calm allowed me to think clearer on what I wanted to focus on to sort through... "RENESMEE!" My mind flicked to my daughter.

"She's fine – you will see her again soon Bella don't worry. Let's just make sure you are okay first please." He said planting another soft kiss on my forehead.

"What happened down there Bella? Your mind... I couldn't keep up with what it was showing me." He asked quietly, like he didn't want to frighten me.

"I don't know how it happened, I just had a flood of emotions hit me at once and then my mind went into that..." I breathed in deeply to keep calm

"I couldn't stop the memories from both lives Edward; it was like they waged war on each other or something." My eyes flickered as the memory of that happening threatening to overwhelm me again.

"Stop! Look at me Bella, don't let it rule you." He said seeing how easily my mind could fall back into what happened before. I tried to focus on his voice; it was hard though with how my mind had its own opinion on how to deal with my situation.

"It's not easy" I said as I joined in on the battlefront of my memories in my effort to quell both. I tried to find pockets of my mind to shove the conflicting memories I have into them, none too gently I might add. It was like separating fighting kids and giving them a timeout. I mused.

"I like that analogy and its working Bella." Edward encouraged listening in to my thoughts. It was easier to do this up here with his arms around me and alone. Though it was taking me longer than I would have liked to bring my mind under control, it was frustrating, I wanted to be with my daughter to be with Edward, to find Tehya and make that part of my life right so Tala can be here with me, with us the way it should be.

"The world isn't going anywhere my love; you take care of yourself first, that is what is important now." His arms tightened around me reassuringly.

As I placed the last of my warring memories into the holding cell so to speak, I breathed deeply relieved to be free of the conflict.

Edward nuzzled my throat again which I loved. But that was from my other life.

"It is from this one as well now" he explained my confusion.

"You will be able to merge the two lives eventually Bella, I am positive of that." He said kissing my throat, my cheek, each one slowly, softly before his lips rested on mine.

"I just need to keep your mind here while we do this together, you're not alone – I will help you through it." He smiled. His butterscotch eyes melted my heart as it always did; he was my own personal brand of heroin.

"Hey that's my line!" he teased.

"And as your wife I have creative control" I laughed.

"That you do my love" he chuckled. "I can see those eighteen years we spent together in your other life has given you a lot of happiness and to think, you get to do it all over again."

I groaned jokingly. His kiss muffled his own laughter.

I think I am ready to go back downstairs, I really want to be with Renesmee. I said stressing out how much I needed my little girl.

"Agreed I think you are as well." He said. Edward got up and as the gentleman he is, held out his hand to me. I gladly put mine in his as we made our way down stairs.

Alice met us on the stairs. "Bella, I can't see what has been. But your...."

"Not now Alice" Edward interrupted her abruptly. The look in his eyes concerned me.

"What is it?" the calmness I felt a moment ago was inching away from me. I felt like I had to run, run away with Edward and Renesmee.

"It is nothing for you to be worried about Bella" he turned me to face him knowing the anxiety I was feeling.

Alice stood there biting her lip, her eyes wide seeing me like this. "I'm sorry Bella, I just didn't understand."

"What?" if my heart could beat it would be thundering along right now. Everything seems so uncertain to me, like it wasn't real and any moment I would be pulled away from my family like I had before. I couldn't let that happen, I would lose Renesmee.

"Bella! You are not going anywhere, you are right here, with me" His hand had a firm grip of my chin.

"What Alice is seeing in my opinion is the confusion in your mind Love. You know your future depends on your decisions. Yes?" he wanted me to reply.

"Yes"

"But right now you have two lives that are colliding with each other in your mind, pulling you in a million different directions and distorting your future in the process. You have a future here with me and our daughter Bella, don't allow yourself to believe anything else." He said kissing my forehead again.

"In time your mind will process the two lives and when they merge you will find the inner peace you need." His understanding of what I need amazed me and brought the much needed reassurance with it.

Alice put her hand on my back. "I'm so sorry Bella"

"It's okay" I said smiling at her gently. I knew she didn't mean to upset me. I would have hugged her but Edward wasn't to going to release me any time soon.

I saw Jasper next and felt awful for what I did to him earlier.

"Are you alright?" I asked nervously.

"Yes Bella, but when you are ready I would like to know what has happened to you. I am worried." He said as Alice joined him and he wrapped his arms around her.

"I am not sure what to tell you, I think Edward has a better handle of what happened than I do." I said honestly.

"Maybe – maybe not, I only have theories Bella, but it is a start." He confessed.

"It's more than what I have." I tried to joke with him but I didn't feel in a laughing mood.

I could see Carlisle was working on Seth's arm; Esme had her hand on him offering comfort. How could I hurt Seth, he is so gentle, so loving. It always grieved me in my other life that he didn't find that special lady in his life. He just hung around with Jacob and Tala mostly when he wasn't running with the pack on patrols. I remember how sad he was when Tala went off to the private school; he lost his best friends as Jacob came with us as well. I always felt bad about that part of putting Tala in a private school, but she wanted to be with us as we did her for those last years of high school.

"So, you're going to live? I smiled at him. "How many times have I told you to never leap out in front of me like that? One day I just may accidently kill you... Or is that your intent, you want to see me punished for my bad temper?" I laughed but he just sat there with his mouth gaped open.

"What are you talking about Bella?" he questioned and it was then that I realised everyone was staring at me.

"What?" I recalled everything I just said in case I accidently insulted him but nothing I could recall would suggest that. I looked at Edward confused.

"Your other life" he answered smiling. "It's okay; I'll explain it to them."

Apart from feeling like a complete idiot I didn't feel okay. It was getting harder and harder to separate the two lives.

"Maybe you shouldn't try Bella." He suggested. "Once they understand what you have been through, it will be easier for them to follow you." His hand placed on my cheek calmed me a little but I still felt like an idiot.

"You are far from that. I would guess that if they were in your position they would not fair so well" His frown told me of what he thought of my opinion.

"Where is Renesmee?" I asked desperate to hold her in my arms.

"With Rosalie and Jacob." Esme replied.

Rosalie heard me and came into the room with my daughter.

"Is it safe Bella, will you harm her?" I could see the fear in her for my daughter.

"I could never harm her but feel free to stay with me if you like" I knew she didn't mean anything unkind by her words, I had learnt Rosalie's ways and we had become very close over the years.

"Jacob to if it helps" I added making him smile with relief.

Rosalie handed me my daughter. Renesmee reached out for me wanting to be as close to me as I needed her as well. She placed her hand on me recalling the events she had seen with perfect clarity. Without words she made it clear her feelings for Jacob, she was very possessive about him and had staked her claim over him.

"Of course he's yours." In my heart though I pinned and grieved for Tala's loss. I found it hard to imagine Jacob with anyone but her but as I looked at it more, he never took that final step, something stopped him. Maybe they were kindred spirits instead of imprinted soul mates.

"That makes sense Bella, he didn't have Renesmee in that world nor could he ever so he connected to the nearest thing to it." Edward's thoughts on this fitted as a good explanation of Jacob's reluctance. So who would be Tala's soul mate, I wondered and will I ever find out? Not if I don't get my father and Tehya together.

"Seth, you said earlier that your cousin Tehya is keen on my father?" I asked for confirmation.

"Yes, but your dad is a bit slow on the uptake." Seth laughed.

"Alice I need your help, they are destined to be together, how can I bring this about." I asked.

"How do you know they belong together?" Alice questioned.

"I'll explain after Alice, just go with her on this for now please." Edward intervened.

"Sure. What do you need from me Bella?" she asked curiously.

"With us helping set them up as a couple, how can we bring about them getting married?" I made myself as clear as I could of my intent.

"Oh!" Alice's eyes unfocused looking into Charlie's future. "OH!" she said again.

"That is too easy." Edward laughed out loud.

"What?" I asked impatiently "You do know this mind sharing thing only works one way don't you?" I ticked him for not explaining to me quicker what he saw.

"Okay" he laughed more, hardly being able to contain himself. I closed off my mind to him. A little childish in my reaction but I knew it would get his attention.

"Bella!" as I anticipated he stopped laughing instantly.

"You'll have it back as soon as you tell me what to do" I said annoyed.

"Woah!" Emmett laughed "You're ruthless Bella, who are you and what have you done with the old Bella" He laughed but only made Edward hiss at him.

"That isn't funny Emmett!" Edward said defensively of my condition.

"It is from my point of view, I like this new Bella!" he replied but quietened his laughter.

I didn't feel offended by Emmett's remark. Edward and I have been together a long time and I knew how to get to him if I had to when he overreacted on the odd occasion.

"Just tell me Edward or Alice, either one of you just please tell me how to get my father back together with Tehya?" I opened my mind again to Edward; I know how it makes him suffer when I close it.

"Thank you" he said quietly.

"Back together?" Seth questioned.

Renesmee placed her hand on my cheek grabbing my attention. She showed me what just happened and smiled seeing how funny Emmett looked.

"He is funny isn't he" My eyes locked on my daughter I waited for someone to answer my question.

"What else do you want to show me?" I picked up her hand and placed it back on my cheek. She liked this and smiled her toothy smile. It was so cute. Renesmee went through her day and got to the part of her drinking human blood. I felt my throat burn and Edward had her out of my arms immediately.

"What are you doing?" I questioned annoyed.

"She was showing you her drinking, human blood" Edward's eyes were wide.

"And?" I didn't understand his problem.

Edward stared at me for a moment and saw that I did not have any signs of being overwhelmed by Renesmee's thoughts of human blood.

"And nothing it seems, I over reacted" he smiled.

Again I said in my mind.

"Yes 'again'" he laughed as he handed Renesmee back to me.

"What are we going to do about your Daddy?" I said joking with her.

"I like the sound of that" Edward wrapped his arms around us both. Our first family group hug I mused. He chuckled.

"Don't think I have forgotten about Charlie and Tehya, how can we get them together?" I reminded him.

"It is so simple really, we get them together here. Seth will be responsible for bringing Tehya over and we will have Charlie come visit." He finally said. I liked the idea.

"I would like to discuss Bella and her situation. Is there something we should be doing for her – that I should be doing for her?" Carlisle interrupted my thoughts.

"Yes of course you would all be curious. I should explain to you what has happened to her. Maybe then you will stop asking me questions in my head." He laughed.

Everyone settle round keen to hear my story. I kept hold of my little girl and enjoyed the images she gave me. I didn't take my eyes off of her.

"My theory may seem a bit unorthodox but it is the only plausible thing I can come up with for what has happened to Bella." He explained.

"Were listening." Esme said sweetly.

"As you know, Bella died after giving birth to Renesmee." I could hear the pain in his tone recalling this.

"Her heart took a long time to recover itself into beating again after it stopped." He paused again. I would look up to him but knew if I did I would be lost in his grieving eyes recalling the moment.

"Go on" Jasper encouraged.

"When Bella came out of her transformation she had a new set of memories of another life with us all – one without Renesmee. But not only memories, she has the experience of eighteen years living with us. This is how Bella has had such an unimaginable control over herself now; she has had all those years to fall back on."

"Like a human dream?" Rosalie questioned.

"That is what I thought it was at first as well but then Bella was able to open her mind to me so easily. I have seen a lot of her other life and it isn't a dream state memory. I have seen other human's and their dreams and they weren't even close to the clarity of her memories. The only thing that I could relate this to in the form of a dream was that she could see us from different points of view, like she was in our heads. But other than that no, it was not a dream in way shape or form."

"That is incredible" Alice said fascinated. "And Tala is your sister?" she asked.

"Yes, the daughter of my father and Tehya and in that life Jacob had imprinted on Tala but as Edward has pointed out to me, Jacob never fully committed to her. And considering he has imprinted with Renesmee in this reality, it makes sense of what happened in the other reality."

"So that is why you want your Dad and Tehya to meet up, so they will give you your sister?" Emmett asked.

"Yes, she is incredible; you will love her so much." I said proudly.

"Is she human or wolf?" Seth asked.

"Human but Tehya becomes a wolf so it is possible with a big enough threat Tala may transform as well." I answered.

"How did your father handle this?" Alice asked concerned.

"Not that well at first but he came round and accepted it. Then in some ways he was a little jealous of her ability to become a wolf. He loved to see her run especially." I explained but the feelings and emotions from my memories were becoming a little overwhelming.

"Jacob, take her" I said handing him Renesmee. He didn't hesitate but I could see he was a little confused on why I had suddenly become so willingly handed her to him.

"Because I have seen you with Tala, you will not harm Renesmee. I know that you love her as her best friend, her protector." I explained without him asking me. But my mind was racing.

"Thanks Bells" he said smiling brightly at my acceptance.

Edward lifted my chin so he could see my eyes or more importantly I see his. I could feel the anxiety build in me of possibly losing my mind again.

"No it won't happen. Keep your eyes on me, don't look around. Focus on me, my scent." He said kissing my lips softly. I felt Jasper's ability to calm, cover me like a blanket. My thoughts and memories went back into place in my head where they belonged.

"What are you experiencing right now Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"I have two sets of memories that want to be like the lead, the winner of my thoughts. The two realities are at odds as to what is real or not." I tried to explain but it seemed hopeless to express what my thoughts are doing adequately enough.

"I am trying to help her merge them so they don't disrupt her mind so aggressively like it did before." Edward explained.

"Very good, I would have suggested the same thing. It is a matter of time Bella; you will have control over both." It was reassuring to hear that from him.

"In my other reality you work on the reservation as a doctor there and Esme designed and built and extension of their medical facilities. We were able to stay here because most people on the reservation don't know you Carlisle and the ones that do are wolves and willingly have you as their doctor fixing their injuries up." I thought he would be curious to know what it he was doing in my other life.

"That is a fantastic idea Bella, I know my father would support that" Jacob offered. Any excuse to keep us here I knew would please Jake.

"What were we doing?" Rosalie asked.

"You all helped raise Tala and I imagine that it will be the same when she is born here but you will have your hands full with two children running about." I laughed but saw how Esme and Rosalie's eyes lit up. They were happy in my other reality but they will be ecstatic in this one with two children to help raise.

"What, Tehya is okay with us being close to her child?" Jasper questioned.

"Yes, she knows all about us" I answered.

"After you or someone tells her about us?" Alice asked "I don't see you doing that though"

"She is very involved with the Quileute Tribe and knows of all the tribal stories including the ones about us. The rest she learned herself. Tehya will be very comfortable being with us after her first visit here." I said.

"Careful, you don't want to replace Alice being the predictor in the family" Emmett laughed.

"No chance of that happening." I smiled at her.

"I don't know Bella, I quite like the sound of your future" her eyes were sparkling with delight seeing my future finally.

"It was just a matter of time Alice" Edward said a little smugly as he grinned at her.

"So when do you invite the over?" Esme was just as keen to make this happen.

"I can ask Charlie to come round tomorrow and Alice had a nice stash of contact lenses for my eyes so I don't spook him too much." I grinned at her as her mouth dropped open.

"Amazing!" Carlisle was completely thrilled with what has happened. "I don't know where you went for this other life Bella but it certainly will have a significant impact here."

"She is an exceptional creature!" Edward said so proudly.

"Seth, do you think you can come up with an excuse for Tehya to come here tomorrow?" I asked quickly.

"I just have to say the word Charlie and she will be here" he laughed.

"So we are going to be related Bella?" Seth was out of the chair and only took two strides to be in reach so he could wrap his uninjured arm around me.

"Yes we are" I laughed back at his enthusiasm.

"Before you make all happy families Bella, you need to make a call" Alice said handing me her phone.

I looked at her questioningly.

"Charlie" she prompted laughing.

"Of course" I rolled my eyes at my dimwittedness.

I made the call to my father. He was very pleased to hear I had recovered enough from my mystery quarantined illness the Carlisle had come up with to stop him from coming over sooner. He agreed happily to come over tomorrow. Seth made his call to Tehya and the plan was in motion. I couldn't wait for the beginning of my new life to start.

"I see her Bella, I see your sister!" Alice squealed her delight.

"And isn't she wonderful Alice?" I said so happily.

"Completely!" She hugged me as she watched our new destiny fall into place.

"You're going to meet your granddad tomorrow" I beamed at Renesmee taking her from Jacob.

"You're not hesitant in the slightest are you?" Jasper asked.

"No, the scents are the same in this reality as the other one. I am not disturbed by any human scent at all, especially family. Renesmee is the only one I am unfamiliar with and even if I did not have the advantage of my other life to fall back on I could never hurt her, she is so precious." I said giving her a little squeeze.

She nestled into me with my hair covering her, I liked the way it concealed her, like an added protection as it did for Tala. As the day passed into night Renesmee fell asleep in my arms. I lifted her hand to my cheek to see if I could see her dream. I could, it was magical with colours and faces. Mine was probably the most she had in her mind closely followed by Jacob then Edward. She was happy as was I.

"Finally" Edward turned and joined Renesmee and I.

"She will sleep till morning" he said with a glint in his eyes. "Try and act surprised about the cottage, they don't know you have already been there in your other reality." He said quietly but not quietly enough.

"She knows?" Alice said loudly followed by a chorus of hushes from everyone for her to be quieter.

"You know Bella?" she said apologetically for being loud.

"Yes, it was in my other world as well but that doesn't mean I don't love it any less Alice. Esme, well you all did a fantastic job of it. And it is Edward's and my home there as it will be here but one exception of this little addition to add to it." I said looking down at my daughter happily.

"No fair!" Alice complained "But I can't be upset with you, as it isn't your fault we are playing catch up to your other life." She giggled. "You like it which is all I needed to know."

"I don't like it I love it Alice." I corrected her.

"And the walls are still standing?" Emmett laughed quietly.

"Oh no... Not this again." I laughed knowing full well what he was referring to. An idea suddenly came to mind which Edward saw. He chuckled at me.

"Go for it!" he encouraged.

"Jacob – could you take Renesmee out of the room. Out of the house would be better if you don't mind. Just for a short time. There is something I want to do but she can't be around for this."

"Sure Bells but you will have to tell me later what you're up to." He grinned.

"I promise, take Seth with you as well" he took her from my arms. "Oh, Esme, Carlisle you may want to join him." I suggested.

"No I am curious Bella on what you are up to." Esme said smiling.

"Um, I think you will want to do as she suggested, I will tell you after." Edward winked at Carlisle.

"Come on my dear, I don't think we want to be involved with this part." He said smiling at Esme as they left arm in arm.

As soon as they were out of the house I faced Jasper. "Pick up on my emotions and share it with all of them." I grinned indicating everyone in the room. Edward could hardly contain his laughter but he himself didn't know the full effect of our love... yet. This is going to be funny to see.

I wrapped myself around Edward and closed my eyes allowing the most precious memory I will ever have of Edward and I together. I knew I had to show some control but how much will depend on Edward's reaction. In my mind I showed Edward Isle Esme, drinking human blood and to be free of human restraints and love as vampires can, as we have in my other life.

I hadn't even got to the good part and already Emmett and Rosalie were in each other's arms being quite passionate. Their growls were nothing more than kitten sounding to what Edward and I can share and will later when we are in our own home. The longing moans coming from them all including Edward was enough for me to break the connection with Jasper.

When Emmett recovered he replied as he had in the past... "NO WAY!" he said pulling Rosalie in closer. "Oh man!"

"Yes way! So there will be no teasing of Edward's and my private life. Do I make myself perfectly clear Emmett?" I laughed.

"Yes Mam!" he chuckled.

"Really?" Alice came up to me still a bit breathless. "It is really like that with human blood?"

"Yes but Jasper... he couldn't..." I felt bad for letting her down like this.

"No it's fine, of course not... we have what you just shared, it will be..." her face said it all without words. They will have fun with what they just shared from my memories.

"I think it is time we went home Bella" Edward was pretty keen to see the rest of that memory. He is a little distracted.

As we made our way to the house we passed Jacob holding Renesmee.

"And?" he questioned.

"I just put a stopper in Emmett's attempts to tease Edward and I about our... relationship" I said lightly hoping he would pick up on my meaning.

"Glad I missed that one" He chuckled pulling a face. I grinned back at him.

I leant over to kiss my girl goodnight. My heart told me to stay with her, to care for her.

"Bella she won't wake till morning. Jacob's got this." Edward said gently. I knew Jacob did but I couldn't help the need to be with her. But I wanted to be with Edward as well. Alone.

"Take care of my girl won't you." I said to Jacob as I kissed her one more time on the cheek. Edward and I needed time together without the others around, I needed it. To feel the warmth of his arm around me, holding me, I need him loving me, to make me feel whole.

"You know I will" Jacob said proudly.

Edward was without words until we got to our cottage. He picked me up as he had before and in full tradition kissed me as he stepped over the threshold. Not that he would say so but he is a true romantic at heart and I loved that about him.

I could see him scan the room. "Don't even think about giving me a tour" I said with a twinkle in my eye. He set me on my feet smiling at me with that crooked smile I love so much. Without hesitation, I began to remove his clothing, albeit a little aggressively from his body. It wasn't exactly hard work for him either to remove mine.

Skin on skin, touch on touch, I recalled the full affect of drinking human blood in my mind from my other life for Edward. His groans and gasps of pleasure rumbled through his body as his potent kisses flamed my desires into a crazed state. Of course we had made love before in this reality but not anything like this. I have only been in human form here when we made love and Edward had to use an incredible amount of restraint with his touch. But now he was free to love me as we were intended to as vampires and was far beyond any desires he could have ever want for.

His expression told me everything I needed to know. That look he has, of ultimate saturation of being at one with the love of your live, as you feel with every fibre of your being the unimaginable and passionate sensations that most would find too perilous to venture in experiencing, but not us, definitely not us. I knew the structure of this home of ours well and where I could ghost to with him in my arms and not knock the walls down in the process.

That first time, ghosting into the wall with him inside me, how it is like an injection of a pure euphoria climatic release... had Edward gasping as he buried himself deeper inside of me. It's addictive in every which way imaginable. His thunderous roars of pleasure broke through his chest feeling the true and full nature of a vampire's ability to love another and be free of human restrictions. I didn't conceal a moment of the heights we can reach. His cries calling out my name with ecstasy as his love filled my warmth and unconditionally fuelled the nova of my burning star. My tigress roars sung out my siren song to him as the passion overtook me sending him reeling into the Utopian heavens where he has never been before.

All night, Edward loved me as only he could – healing the pain in me of my lost love from my other reality that I will never see again. I showed him how he could love me without fear as we had in my other life, and he did. Edward wrapped his hand round the small of my back, securing me to him, holding me in place as we became untethered from this world from his deep heavenly penetrating thrusts, claiming my world – my existence – we became one and the same. I gave myself over to him surrendering all that I am as he cocooned me around his love that has no limit, no boundaries – no end.

The intoxicating and addictive euphoria of our love brought our climatic waves crashing in onto each other. To feel him inside me, every mind altering thrust, every sensual kiss, every burning touch – would have me weep if I could shed a tear. So potent is our love-making it was heavenly, beyond heaven, beyond enlightenment. The angels themselves were parting the heavens for our arrival as we rode the cresting waves into the realms graced only by immortals with the blessing of all that is divine. In that moment of all that is and can be, we released the synergy-filled tsunami of our love into time and space as we entered the empyrean sanctuary of our bond.

The first rays of light shone like a beacon on this new dawn of our forever. Edward nuzzled me breathing in deep my scent as he lovingly stretched out my body against his. Our fingers interlocked as his rhythmic gentle thrusts kept us floating in the world of our own making. My two Edward's were merging into one, my soul finding peace. The Edward I thought I had lost from my other life was never gone, not really. He has been with me all this time, never leaving me, whispering softly his love, his presence – his existence inside of me. He cradled my broken heart in his embrace, holding me together as I wept for him. I can see him in my mind now, stand there smiling that crooked smile that I love so much. There he will remain, staying with me throughout time loving me as I do him.

Edward had seen my thoughts and cupped my cheek gently.

"I feel your pain, I wish I could give him back to you" his compassion had no boundaries.

"But then I would break from not having you." I said as a tearless sob escaped my lips. "It is an impossible situation"

"I have thought many times if it were reversed, if I had two lives, two Bella's" he sighed deeply as if he was steadying himself from grief. "It is impossible as you say; there is no resolve to be found that can make this right for you." He lifted my chin so he could look into my eyes.

"But Bella, I can see him in your mind, I see the memories you share with him. I can recall them with you now with the same clarity as if I were he. I can give you this, to bring you as close to him as I am physically capable of – I will give you this and more." Edward rolled to his side pulling me into his embrace as I sobbed uncontrollably. Right there, right then with his words my two Edward's became one.

If I thought my heart could not find life again, it did in that moment. If I thought my soul could never be whole again, it did in that moment. If I thought I could never love Edward more than I do now, I did in that moment.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Nearly a whole year has passed for me where my life separated into two. Even now it is hard to let go of all that I knew from my other life, the wonderful memories, the experiences, the love shared. It has been especially hard to be without my sister Tala, she was so much a part of me that can never be again. I miss her laughter, her zest for life; I miss her, simply purely her. My other Edward and I were like her second parents, we were with her for nearly eighteen years before I was torn from that life. That is not something you can get over easily. The one blessing I have had in this ordeal is Edward and his ability to be both Edward's for me. My memories are his memories now in the sense he can recall them as if they were his own from my mind. It has also been confusing to see Jacob with Nessie. I had relented and called her by her nickname as well now. But the imprinting between them is much stronger than what was between him and Tala. He dotes on Nessie something fierce and it is hard for him to be parted from her for any length of time.

I should not be surprised at this; my daughter has captured the heart of all who comes into contact with her. Edward and I have to literally fight to have time alone with her. And no evenings don't count when she is asleep. Although, we have spent many nights watching her dreams, for Edward in his usual reading of the mind and for me when I hold her hand to my cheek.

There was a time when our attention was bordering on obsession for our daughter. This was before we found out through a young man called Nahuel, that Nessie's rapid growth rate is normal for a hybrid of human and vampire. And like Nahuel's half sister's, Nessie does not have the ability to turn a human into a vampire. I will never be able to thank Alice and Jasper enough for the search they went on to find Nahuel, to bring us the information that changed our lives from dread of Nessies future, from the onset it appeared to be short lived, to the wonderful news that she will live as long as any vampire can live to – eternity.

What has been interesting is to see is how my two lives have similar paths, this one is many years behind of course but the journey has many key facts to help me connect the dots of my other life to this one. It was the union of my father Charlie with Tehya that I was most interested in becoming a reality, my family and I pulled out all the stops to ensure Charlie's shy ways did not ruin any chances of Tehya becoming his wife and soon mother of my little sister Tala.

Tehya has the same wonderful personality as she did in my other life and has embraced the vampires and werewolves way of life without hesitation. Nessie can be herself completely around Tehya without concern of upsetting her. My father is much more open that he was in my other reality; he had to with the growth rate of Nessie being quite obvious. He struggled with it at first but now goes with the flow of what strikes him as not being normal. It is quite an achievement for him.

My Cullen family have accepted Tehya whole heartedly into the family, enjoying her relaxed nature to who they are. More importantly, as soon as Tehya found out that female vampires could never have children she set about that my family be involved with her pregnancy as much as possible sharing every aspect of this wonderful event. Esme and Rosalie especially are thriving on this and have been very supportive for Tehya. Carlisle is of course her Doctor and also works at the Quileute Reservation as he had in my other reality. In that respect everything is exactly the same.

I did warn Jacob and my family about Tehya becoming a werewolf in my other reality. It was agreed by all that she should be kept far away from any danger of wandering vampires or anything that could turn her while she was pregnant with Tala, this was accomplished with extra patrols on both sides. Rosalie and Esme have been wonderful keeping a close eye on her. The close friendship they have built with her is wonderful to see, especially for Rosalie. I never thought it possible for her to have a bond with a human but it is there. Plans have been made after the birth for Tala to be involved with us as much as Charlie can endure. Tehya is very excited in sharing the raising of Tala with us, believing that her daughter will have nothing but a rich full life having all the supernatural family around her, werewolves and vampire's alike.

It is clear my relationship with Tala won't be exactly the same as what I had before but I didn't have Nessie with me in the other reality either, so I do not see that I shall be losing anything. If anything I think Tala and I will be even closer and be able to share what we truly are – sisters. Seth has been stoked knowing that he is related to the vampires in a small way through Tehya when she married Charlie and that Tala will be his third cousin. It really is more relation by association but I wasn't going to burst his bubble. Seth doesn't want to be at home too much these days, not since Billy and his mom have become an 'item'. He said it makes him feel weird seeing Jacob's dad with his mom. I personally think it is just his excuse to hang out with us which I don't mind at all. I love Seth as if he were my brother; there is a kindness in him that I am drawn to. Even Edward likes him a lot.

Edward and I are inseparable we don't go anywhere without each other. Even on the odd occasion when I am with my sisters, Nessie, Esme and Tehya on shopping trips, I know Edward is around but keeping his distance. My family think this is just another one of his 'overreactions' but I know differently. When we are not together there is this hollow feeling inside of us, like our soul has left to find our missing partner. We are happiest together in each other's embrace, and more so when we are with Nessie as well as a family. She is such a big part of the entire family that we don't always get enough time with her but at the same time we do have till the end of time together, especially with Jacob as her future partner.

Tonight is a very special night for us all, on why we are all here together in the Cullen family home. The house is literally buzzing, not one friend or family is missing to join in on the celebrations. Tonight Tala is coming into the world and like how she was in my other life she is in a hurry to be born. I have told Tehya and my family that she will live her life to the fullest and won't be happy unless she is going Mac three with her hair on fire. A running joke from my other life as it will be here as well.

Tehya's labour is going well without too much wincing from Edward and Jasper who are helping Tehya as much as they can but from another room of course. I recalled back to when Tala born last time, how we had our fun. Edward looked at me seeing the twinkle in my eye for some mischief. He chuckled and nodded his approval.

I went up to Jasper and told him to feed out my and Edward's emotions to everyone but Nessie and Jacob. He raised his eyebrow in suspicion but agreed to do this. I joined Edward again and snuggled into him as I closed my eyes recalling Edward's and my intimate moments; I didn't let them get out of hand but enough to dazzle the family.

"OH MAN! Not again!" Emmett groaned jokingly. He took Rosalie in his arms kissing her passionately, never letting a chance go by.

They had become accustom to my little joke on them all but the words I wanted to hear tonight to had to come from the head of the household. He didn't disappoint.

"That isn't helping Jasper!" Carlisle yelled out. Everyone broke out laughing. My memory is now complete of this moment.

Thirty four minutes later Tala announced herself to the family and friends with of her arrival. To hear her baby cries again brought a flood of memories for me. Edward wrapped his secure arms around me as we took yet another step in the healing process.

It wasn't long after that when we got meet baby Tala all over again. The ocean of tears my father shed in joy mirrored my own tearless cries. She is so beautiful in every way.

"Nessie, do you want to hold your Aunt?" Tehya joked. It was odd to hear that but it was true, my daughter is older than her Aunt Tala.

Nessie took Tala in her arms; she placed her hand on Tala's cheek and introduced herself as only Nessie can do. I sank into Edward's chest, overwhelmed with happiness seeing my favourite and precious girls together at last. There was nothing more in this life that I could have wished for. I had everything.

Not long after Seth and Jacob joined us in the room. Jacob held Tala and I felt a twinge of sadness that Tala will never have the love she did in my other life. I hoped she would find someone truly as wonderful as Jacob to love and cherish her.

"Seth she is a little cutie isn't she" Jacob cooed. Seth's lack of response had all of us look in his direction wondering why.

It was then that I saw it. I watched in awe and delight as the strings of Seth's reality snap releasing him from all other ties of this world. It was at that moment that his life had changed forever. He was memorized, captivated and totally, totally imprinting on my sister Tala. I thought I could not have wished for anything more but this... to have Seth be Tala's partner. My breath hitched as I burst at the seams with my tearless sobs of overwhelming happiness. To know my sweet, sweet beautiful Tala will indeed have the perfect partner in life with Seth, he is everything I could have ever wanted for her and more.

"See how everything has worked out so well in the end." Edward said as he nuzzled into me holding me close.

"Yes, perfectly so" I smiled feeling so content inside.

It had been a long day and Nessie was so tired. Edward and I tucked her into bed but protested at our usual reading of a book.

"Not tonight Mama" she said determined as if she had something to say. Edward sat behind me with his arm wrapped around my waist. Suddenly his hold got tighter as his breath hitched. I was going to ask him why but Nessie spoke first.

"Mama, I think you did die when I was born and I think you were given that other life you had by somebody special." She said as a matter of fact. I listened surprised at what she was saying.

"It was so you would come back to Daddy and me... so you wouldn't give up while the venom did its thing. But do you know who I think it was that gave it to you?"

"Who Nessie, who gave me that other life" I asked my precious insightful little girl.

"Daddy's real Mama." She said smiling brightly.

THE END