"Watch it!"

Tonks watched in silent horror as the potion she had just finished making tipped over and splashed Justin Rowle, who was unlucky enough to be sharing a table with her. Immediately large boils started popping up all over his skin.

"You stupid Cow!" he hissed as his friend tried desperately to wipe the potion off of him with her robes.

"Now, now Rowle. It was an accident." Slughorn tutted as he came over and accessed the situation. "Ms. Habershine could you please escort Rowle to the hospital wing?"

The girl wrapped her arm around Justin and glared viciously at Tonks before leading him away. The rest of the class, who had been watching avidly, abruptly went back to bottling their potions.

Slughorn sighed and glanced at her cauldron. "Looks like you have just enough left in there, hurry up and get it bottled my dear, class is almost over." He moved on then to one of his better students.

Tonks sighed and bottled the potion then cleaned up her mess. Slughorn didn't even bother to admonish her for her clumsiness any more. What a bloody perfect day this has been she thought as she followed Cally out of the class. First I accidentally set professor Flitwick on fire and now I've got Ravinclaw's out to get me for a potions accident.

"Tonks?"

They had reached the great hall and Cally was looking at her worriedly. "What's the matter? You've been off all day."

Tonks sighed and shook her head as she dished potatoes on to her plate. She appreciated Cally's concern but how could she tell her? She couldn't tell anyone.

That morning she had received an owl from Lily. The note had been short but it had frozen her blood. Remus was hurt. They didn't know what was going to happen, but she would keep her informed.

Keep her informed. Tonks felt like punching someone. She was Remus's girlfriend, she should be there. Instead she was stuck at school and he could be dying. She could guess what happened; Lily's note hadn't said and that was clue enough. He had ended up in a fight with death eaters doing something for the Order.

"I'm fine Cal. I just got some bad news this morning is all."

Cally eyes her shrewdly. "Is it your Mum? No? Your dad? Remus?"

Tonks almost nodded but caught herself in time. Still it was enough confirmation for Cally. "What happened?"

Tonks was staring at her plate, pushing her food around. "Don't know, all I know is that there was an accident and he's at St. Mungos ." she lied.

Cally reached out and took the hand that was pushing the fork around. "It'll be ok Tonks. He's going to be fine." She soothed. "The healers are the best."

Tonks nodded and squeezed her hand back before standing. "Thanks. I think I'm just going to go to the common room, I'm not hungry."

On the way out of the Great hall she got the feeling that someone was watching her and looked up. Dumbledore was sat at the head table and his eyes followed her gravely over his half moon spectacles. This more then anything made her feel like crying. If Dumbledore thought it was bad…

She hurried out of the hall and walked quickly toward the Hufflepuff common room. If she could only know that he was going to be ok, everything would be all right.

By the time Cally entered the dormitory Tonks had cried herself to sleep and didn't feel her friends gentle hand wipe her tears off hr cheek before pulling the covers over her.

It took two days for word to finally come that Remus was ok. As it was it came in the form of a very harassed looking Sirius Black. That morning another letter had arrived, this time from James who simply said that Remus was alive and that She was to meet Sirius in the Hogs head that night to find out the rest.

At 9pm Tonks entered the pub and sat at a table in the corner. Professor Kettleborn had almost caught her on the way to the secret passage that would take her out of the school. Remus had shown it to her, although she suspected it was only one of many he knew about.

Tonks had disguised herself, morphing to look like a haughty black haired woman with a mole on her cheek. She looked like enough of a black that Sirius would recognize her immediately, but not enough that anyone else would.

Five minutes after she had arrived Sirius entered. The first thing she noticed, as he went to the bar and ordered a bottle of Firewhisky, was that he looked worn out. There was a pinched look to his face and his eyes, which usually held a mischievous sparkle, showed the strain he was obviously feeling.

As she thought he would Sirius recognized who she was right away and casually strode over to join her.

"How is he?" she asked in an undertone as soon as he sat down.

He offered her the bottle and she took it in a pretense of looking like they were only having a casual conversation.

Sirius sighed and pushed his long black hair back. "Doing alright now. It looked bad for a while I won't lie to you." He sounded bitter and immediately Tonks knew there was something else going on.

"What is it?" she leaned forward a bit and stared at him in earnest.

"The healers is what. None of them wanted to go near him!" he laughed without humor. "Seemed to think they could catch his problem, if you know what I mean. Bloody idiots." He shook his head and took a long swig straight from the bottle.

Tonks felt anger bubbling up. Remus was one of the most caring gentle people she had ever met and would probably ever meet, despite his fears he would never hurt anyone and here were these people treating him like a pariah while he was dieing."Hypocrites more like. Aren't they supposed to take some kind of oath or something? To treat everyone in an unbiased way or something?"

Sirius nodded. "You've hit it on the head there coz. That's exactly what Lily said to them. Finally some young thing took pity and started working on him but even she was shaking like a leaf the whole time. I told James not to say anything about Remus's condition but it's required before they'll treat you. Would've found out any way I suppose."

She nodded, but her anger still hadn't subsided. Instead of letting it take over she asked calmly, "So what happened? I mean, who attacked him?"

Sirius raised a brow and she rolled her eyes. "I know everything ok. He told me, granted he didn't want to but I really didn't give him much choice. I would've thought he told you lot."

Sirius nodded and leaned closer. The hag at the table next to them seemed to be trying to listen in.

"Oh he did, it was Gibbon and Doloholv. You've heard of them yes?"

She nodded slightly and pretended to be drawing on the table with her finger as if they were talking about what they each had for tea that day and not about her boyfriend almost being killed while on a mission for a secret Organization.

"I was there when it happened, they hit him at the same time with some spell, don't know what it was. There was this girl with us; she had just joined a few weeks ago. Anyway we were holding our own until Remus saw she was in trouble. Being a bloody noble git he ran to help her, they got them both. He saw Gibbon but not Doloholv, there was no chance. I couldn't even get to them in time."

He smiled grimly. "Got a good hit in on Gibbon though before he dissaperated."

"What happened to the girl?" Tonks asked softly, not sure if she really wanted to know and sure she could figure it out already.

Sirius simply shook his head. "She didn't even make it to st. Mungos ."

They lapsed into silence and finally she stood. "I should go." He nodded and stood too and they left the pub for the cold night air. It had just begun to snow coating the houses and shops and making them look like a scene out of a Muggle Christmas card. Christmas would be coming soon. The air was crisp and Tonks pulled the hood of her cloak up causing her face to fall into shadow.

"Give Remus my love?"

Sirius smirked "Do I have to kiss him too?" he asked in a pho sappy voice.

She hit him lightly, smiling for the first time in what felt like years. "Knock yourself out, although if you did he might do it for you. Besides I didn't know you swung that way." She was only joking but Sirius shrugged and said, "Well I like to keep things a mystery don't I? If I couldn't surprise you what good would life be?"

Tonks raised one pink brow and stared agape at him. "You're not serious."

He just laughed. "I'm always Sirius love." Ignoring her pained look at the use of the pun he started to walk away whistling tonelessly.

"Don't you dare kiss him!" she yelled after him into the dark street. Her only answer was a bark like laugh before a pop sounded and he was gone.

+
"How you feeling today?" Peter had just entered Remus's hospital room looking nervous, but Remus was barely curious as to the cause of it. He was used to Peter acting strange.

"Better," Remus answered as Sirius said at the same time "He's bloody brilliant Wormtail, how do you think you'd feel after almost dieing." He sounded a bit impatient and James who was leaning against the wall beside him chuffed him on the back of the head. "He's only showing concern Padfoot, at least he didn't try to kiss Moony."

Sirius smirked, "I told you, Tonks gave me permission. She wanted me to give him her love."

Remus rolled his eyes, although even that action made him wince in pain. He had only woken up the day before and his body was one big ache. It even hurt to breath. "Yes well I hardly think she meant for you to try and make out with me. Although," he added in a moment of Marauder like cheekiness, "it must be said that you are a rather good kisser."

They all laughed, even Peter who was looking less nervous and seemed to have ignored Sirius's jibe, and Sirius gave a little bow. "Anything to please. You don't think those girls come back for nothing do you?"

"And here I thought it was you're wonderful personality." Came a voice from they door way. It was Lily, her long red hair looking disheveled as if she had been running her hands through it frequently during the day.

"I got off work early." She supplied when they all looked at her questioningly. "The healer says you're feeling better today, I just ran into him in the hall." She frowned as she came over and kissed him chastely on the cheek. "They want you gone soon he says, probably in the next few days. He says you unnerve the staff and other guests."

She rolled her eyes and went to lean against James. "As if this is some resort and not a hospital."

"At least it got him his own room," James said smiling slightly. "He could have been stuck with the bird with the recurring fungus growing out of her nose."

"It was purple this time," Peter piped in. "Saw them pushing her down the hall."

"It was her boyfriend. Poor sod thought she was cheating." Sirius shook his head in mock derision.

"Oh she probably was," Lily said surprising everyone. "I caught her eying up James's arse yesterday."

They all laughed except Lily who looked deadly serious and James kissed her forehead. "Don't worry Love, my arse and the rest of me won't be going anywhere."

Lily seemed appeased after this and Remus found himself looking at the ring that had recently appeared on her finger. She and James would be getting married in the summer and she had never seemed happier to him.

He sighed and closed his eyes, closing out his friend's chatter and the harsh light of the ward. He was glad that his friends would be happy, that they were secure in each other, but part of him was a little Jealous. Yes he had Dora, and Merlin knew he loved her so much it scared him but they would never be able to stand up in front of their family and friends and declare that they belonged to each other. Her parents, despite their obvious like for him, would never accept it he knew. They would have to tell them he was a werewolf after all and he felt sure that despite their kind natures, Ted and Andromeda would not be alight with it. He didn't blame them really; he had a hard time accepting himself. But still, he thought opening his eyes and watching as Lily looked affronted at something Sirius had said and James and Peter laughed at her expression, it would be wonder full to always be together. Maybe at least that would be enough.

"What are you thinking bout Moony?" Sirius asked coming over to sit by his bed.

"Nothing Padfoot, nothing really."

"Hmm. You looked introspective." Sirius looked at him perceptively. Sometimes it surprised Remus how perceptive his friend could be, how he could just look through you sometimes. James, for all his quirks, was usually the more perceptive one, but he never looked at you as if he could see everything you were thinking.

"You know, Tonks was really worried, she looked like shit honestly, even when she was morphed." He frowned. "Of course she did look kind of like my mum when she was younger so that might be why…"

Remus laughed softly and shook his head. "I knew she would be, would have been more so if I hadn't told her about the Order."

Sirius nodded. "She's a strong kid, woman I guess really. But she has her fragile moments like all of us." He looked at him significantly. "I know you love her, it' s plain to all of us, but do me a favour mate?"

Remus nodded almost hesitantly.

"Don't jerk her around yeah? I've known you for half our lives almost and I know that you have you're insecurities and that you don't think you deserve a good life and all that. I was there when you're Dad spouted some of his bullshit don't forget. And yes it was Bullshit," he added seeing Remus's look. He was speaking softly so the others wouldn't here what he was saying.

"So all I'm saying I guess is that I don't want to have to see you hurt her because she gets her hopes up. And I don't want to see you hurt either. I don't ever want to see the look I saw in her eyes the other night again."

"Was it that bad?"

"Moony, she looked like someone was ripping her soul out until I told her you were ok. Then she just looked murderous when I told her how the healers were treating you. " He added more lightly. "Probably would've come up here and ripped them a new one if she could've."

Remus tried not to laugh. He could just see her storming in and calling the healers all sorts of incompetent.

He sighed tiredly and looked at Sirius in earnest. "Sirius, I promise I will never do anything to hurt her. And I won't, jerk her around was it? I love her too much to do that. I'd break things off before I did anything like that."

Sirius nodded and grasped Remus's shoulder for a moment. "I know. But I had to say something. If you're going to break things off, you should do it soon Moony. Before you get in as deep as those two." He jerked his head over at James and Lily then stood and declared that he had to leave.

I'm already in that deep, Remus thought sadly. If only you knew Sirius. I was stuck the first time she smiled at me.