(Hello Everyone! How are you doing? Thank you all for reading and reviewing, something I appreciate immensely! You probably know the abbreviations by now, but there's a few new ones! So, I'LL JUST INCLUDE THEM ALL! JS-Jane Seymour, AB-Anne Boleyn, MB-Mary Boleyn, HT8-Henry Tudor the Eighth, DON-Duke of Norfolk, CB-Charles Brandon. Hope you enjoy!)
Disclaimer-I do not own the Tudors. Never have. Never will. Full credit goes to Showtime, Michael Hirst and all the others who work to make the Tudors such a great show, and of course, the Tudors themselves for being so amazingly interesting!
Oh, and Anne fans and anyone really should check out the . It really is a great website, go see for yourself:) And I was not paid to advertise ANYTHING. Haha. (You'll get what I'm saying when you read on) :D Oh, and I also have nothing against Philippa Gregory. I have read most of her books! :D
JS-AAAAGH! *Throws a laptop that magically appeared from nowhere down in frustration*
Me-What is it Jane?
JS-There's a whole website dedicated to the lady Anne. ANOTHER. BLASTED. WEBSITE! Why does she get all of the adoring fans? WHY DON'T I GET ANY?
Me-Don't be silly. There's tons of websites devoted to you!
JS-THOSE ARE FOR THE ACTRESS WITH MY NAME!
AB-Oh my. Another website for me? I'm so happy! *Says with extreme modesty* I'm not deserving of such an honor!
JS-Oh quit trying to act modest Nan, you've probably visited the website about a thousand times already haven't you?
AB-You know me FAR too well Jane!
Me-What website is this anyway?
AB-*Smiles* THE ANNE BOLEYN FILES!
Me-OMG I LOVE THAT WEBSITE!
JS-WELL AREN'T YOU TWO GREAT LITTLE SALESPEOPLE? I bet the web mistress paid you a pretty penny to advertise her website!
HT8-Janey, I'm not used to hearing you shout so!
JS-Women aren't meant to be just PRETTY ARM CANDY DEAR! THEY HAVE BRAINS, AND HEARTS, JUST LIKE MEN!
AB-They also do not let what lies beneath their codpieces rule their heads!
Me-YEAH! YOU TELL HIM ANNE!
HT8-There's far too much FEMINISM IN THE ROOM!
Me-Guess what Henry! We can VOTE now too!
CB-How dare you besmirch my best friend's head with lies!
HT8-BRANDON! I've missed you!
CB-Sorry Henry. I've been trying to audition for The Tudors.
JS-For the role of Charles Brandon?
CB-Don't be ridiculous. I've already been there and DONE THAT! I auditioned for the role of Henry Tudor the Eighth!
Me-You know all of the roles have been cast…a while back now right?
CB-I'm well aware of it. CURSE YOU JONATHAN RHYS MEYERS!
JS-If only I could have been married to him…..
AB-If only I could've been married to him and been as stunning as Natalie Dormer!
HT8-You were stunning in your own way!
AB-Pardon?
Me-I think Hen just complimented Nan!
HT8-I meant in a horrendous way. THAT'S WHAT I MEANT!
Me-Sureeeee…..
CB-Even I'm not convinced Henry….
HT8-Aren't you supposed to be…my best FRIEND?
CB-Of course. Aren't friends supposed to tell each other the truth?
HT8-No, they're supposed to lie to make the other feel better, lest the more powerful friend feels tempted to have the other made a head shorter!
CB-Seeing as you have no authority to do that anymore, I propose you just de-friend me on Facebook.
AB-Oooh how…. ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING!
Me-It makes being beheaded by the Sword of Calais pale in comparison, right Anne?
AB-You know what was terrifying?
HT8-I swear, if you make one more crack about being married to me… I'm going to go mad!
CB-Too late for that friend!
AB-No, I grow rather bored of insulting you. I think I'm going to move on to insulting Wolsey, or my uncle, the duke of Norfolk. Such a difficult choice!
MB-Oooh sister may I join you?
AB-Of course Mary. *Grins*
DON-Do I have a say in this plan ladies?
MB, AB-No!
Me-Oh my, it's the famous Duke of Norfolk!
DON-Nice to know someone appreciates my…presence.
AB-Forgive me uncle, I think Claire meant INFAMOUS.
DON-You are kind as usual niece. I suppose you haven't lost your wits….or your head….
AB-You were quite lucky not to lose your head Uncle. *Turns to Henry* You just had to DIE the day before Uncle was executed didn't you?
HT8-Trust me madam, I did not plan it that way. I was not looking forward to reuniting with you again.
AB-Ah. So you admit that you think I didn't get sent to hell I suppose?
MB-Silly Henry.
Me-Crazy Henry.
HT8-HEY WAIT A MINUTE!
*Norfolk tries to sneak away*
HT8-*Pulls Norfolk back*-Oh no you don't! I was starting to enjoy not being picked on. Don't spoil it for me!
DON-Fine.
Me-Wow, you must still feel a sense of duty towards your king don't you?
DON-Don't be ridiculous. I work only to achieve ends that would benefit myself.
Me-WOW! A TUDOR CHARACTER PHILLIPA GREGORY ACTUALLY GOT RIGHT!
AB-Why don't we call… HER….. She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?
MB-I'm sure she's a wonderful lady!
JS-AT LEAST SHE WROTE A BOOK WITH YOU AS A PIVOTAL CHARACTER ANNE! Did Lady Phillipa write a book with me as a pivotal character? Noooo….
Me-Wow Jane. You've got some unresolved anger issues don't you?
JS-YOU BET I DO!
DON-Oh dear, that was sooo….threatening.
Me-I must say Norfolk, you're a master at sarcasm.
AB-He's also the master of getting his nieces heads cut off…
DON-That was your fault Anne. You failed to provide the king with a son, something your sister ACTUALLY prevailed in.
MB-What do you mean by ACTUALLY uncle?
DON-Being the king's mistress was the ONLY thing you were useful for.
(Everyone else protests in outrage)
AB-Don't listen to him Mary, you're useful for a lot of things! And you're a wonderful sister!
HT8-For once I agree with what She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named said!
Me-Congratulations Norfolk. You got Anne and Henry to agree with each other!
DON-Wonderful. Where's my reward?
Me-Erm…do you want a trophy or something?
MB-Knowing uncle, probably a title.
DON-Wrong again Mary. I want a crown.
HT8-Fine. I'll get you one of those cheap plastic ones from Wallmart. Will that make you happy?
DON-Will you get the one with the green and white jewels? They make my eyes look more regal. *Starts to get excited*
HT8-Sure, and I'll get you a matching coronation outfit as well. Would you like a THRONE TOO?
DON-Seeing as I don't have to worry about losing my head anymore…YES!
AB-Is that your FINAL answer Uncle?
HT8-Yeah, is that your FINAL answer?
Me-What is this, Who Wants to be a Millionare?
HT8-No, this is who WANTS TO BE WORSE THAN DEAD?
MB-That sounds like a pleasant show!
AB-Oh Mary, so positive!
Me-Oh HEY HEY EVERYONE!
Everyone else-WHAT?
Me-The Tudors is almost over!
HT8-No. We're right here!
AB-The SHOW with the incredibly attractive actors and actresses is ending. NOT US!
HT8-No more Jonathan Rhys Meyers?
MB-NO MORE HENRY CAVILL?
CB-NOO! CAVILL MADE ME POPULAR!
JS-Whatever. I got whacked in season three!
MB-Jane, I think you're mixing up the Tudors with the Sopranos!
JS-Is there really any difference?
Me-No, just Italian accents!
HT8-Like that show that's replacing us!
AB-DAMNED BORGIAS!
HT8-LETS CUT OFF ALL THEIR HEADS!
Me-HENRY THEY'RE ALL DEAD ALREADY!
HT8-Since when has something as petty as DEATH stopped me?
Me-Well, that's another round of Tudor Talk! Until next time readers!
HT8-HEY I WASN'T FIN-
(Anne stifles him with a clenched fist)
AB-*Smiles*-Until next time dear readers!
HT8-OOMMPH!