Growing Up Potter

by Birchwood29

The famous question: What is it like to be Harry Potter's daughter?

26. Chapter 26

A/N alert: I am going to be doing a series of flashbacks for the rest of the story. It is Roe's actual thoughts from whatever time it is in her flashback. I hope this isn't too confusing. They center on Roe and Cole's relationship prior to chapter one, and Roe's relationship with her family prior to chapter 1. I want as much back story into this before I finish it. I hope no one minds. :) This chapter is mostly Roe and Cole's relationship.

I'm walking down the hall on my way to Potions when he calls out my name. I had to make a quick bathroom break before class and told Demi I'd meet her in class.

He calls my name again. By the time his voice reaches my ears I am blushing. My hands clench on the books in my hands and clutch it to my chest further. How is it that all he has to do is say my name before I am hot all over? How is it all it takes from him is one look and I'm suddenly more horny than I've ever been in my entire life? How is it all I want to do is very naughty things to him, yet I can barely work up the courage to even speak to him, let alone spit out nasty retorts? As of late they've been coming out very, very lame.

"Hey! Wait up!" he cries. "You walk fast for such a small person."

"What do you want?" I ask, quickening my pace. Did he just compliment me? "I don't have time to talk. I'm going to be late to class."

"So we'll be late together."

"As comforting as that is, no thanks," I say, rounding the corner. Oh, Merlin I would love to be late with him. I would love to skip class with him and go up to my room (or his room, it really doesn't matter) and slowly undress each other as—

"You've got quite the attitude for a girl whose skirt is tucked into her knickers."

I let out a yelp and drop my books, my hands going to the back of my skirt where I see that he's right. I blush even deeper as I yank it out and right my skirt again.

"You let me walk down the hall like that?" I snarl at him, avoiding his eye as I pick up my books and my bag.

"I couldn't resist," he says and then smirks at me.

I start up again. I guess it's true when people say you can't die of embarrassment, because I should surely be dead by now, what with Cole Malfoy seeing my knickers and all. And they weren't even nice knickers! They were the stupid, plain white ones. Granny panties, as Demi calls them. If I could go back in time I'd put on nice, silk ones…A thong maybe…Wait…wouldn't that have been worse?

What the bloody hell am I saying? I need to get away from him.

"You're an arse," I snap as we get down to the dungeons.

"Quite possibly," he says, "but can you blame me?"

"Yes, and I will!"

"Okay, okay…I'm sorry. Alright? I'm sorry." My anger falters as I see that he is telling the truth, he is sorry.

I don't say anything; I simply sniff indignantly at him as the final bell rings. I slide into my stool just as Professor Slughorn turns around to begin class.

"Did you have to run?"

"Huh?" I ask, turning to Demi.

"Did you have to run?" she repeats.

"No, why?"

"You're red and sweaty."

"I'm sweaty?" I ask in horror. I wonder if Cole noticed…?

No! Who cares if Cole saw you? You don't like him! You do not like Cole Malfoy.

No, I'm in love with Cole Malfoy.

Shit.

"Okay…" Demi says as we begin the lesson. "Go grab the bottle that looks exactly like this bottle and take out three squiggly things."

I roll my eyes at the way Demi is speaking to me, but slide of the stool to fetch them for her anyways. I am at the cabinet when he comes and stands next to me again. I try and fight the urge to turn around. All my self control is going into taking three green squiggly things from the foggy bottle.

"Do you need help?"

"No," I snap, holding my breath as I search for the bottle.

"What are you looking for?" I am silent. "Maybe I can help."

"No thank you," I say calmly. "I've got it under control."

Our hands touch as we both reach for the tall bottle in the back of the shelf. It is like a jolt of electricity shot from my fingertips all the way down to my knickers. For the briefest of seconds I think of snatching it back, but his skin is so smooth and gentle that my hand stays exactly where it is.

I suck in a deep breath and look up at him, seeing him look down at me with what I can only assume was an identical expression.

"Roe…" he says.

"Hey! Roe! Hurry up!" Demi snaps. I instantly feel her presence to my left and we snatch our hands away from each other. She glowers at Cole as I shake three green squiggly things into her hand. "Hurry up. Malfoy." She acknowledges Cole as though he were a piece of chewed gum on the bottom of her shoe after she stepped in dog poo.

"Lupin," he replies, his voice sounds as though it contains a smirk, which I also think Demi figured, for she left in a huff. I can't tell. I've buried my head in the cupboard to hide my blush. "She's like a harpy."

"Hey!" I say, coming out and defending Demi. It's a knee-jerk reaction. "She's just moody."

"Harpies are moody, too."

"So are girls on their periods." I smile as he cringes.

I am begin walk away back to my seat when Cole says, "Just for the record, you have very nice knickers." I pause and, with my back to Cole, close my eyes in embarrassment, before continuing back to my seat.

As I sit down Demi says, "What were you and Malfoy doing up there?"

"Just…talking," I answer honestly. Bordering on flirting, but still only talking.

"Oh. Talking," she replies.

Her tone causes me to turn to her and watch her carefully. I can not decide if she means it just as she said, Oh, talking, or if she meant it in a sarcastic, suggestive way.

"Yes," I say.

"Hand me that oily stuff," she goes on. "Thank you." She never takes her eyes off the potion and she doesn't mention Cole for the rest of class.

I am sitting in my seat waiting for the bell to ring when I resort to my all time favorite hobby: staring at Cole. I couldn't help it at first. My eyes immediately snapped to where he sat. Maybe one day I could work up the courage to say something that wasn't awful when he says something nice to me. Maybe someday I could make myself want better. But, for now, I shall simply stare at him longingly.

"You're drooling," Demi snaps. "What are you thinking of?"

"Something sweet," I half whisper.

OoOoOo

Month One.

"It's positive," I say to Cole.

"Let me see it." I hand it to him and he stares down at it, a frown on his features. He turns his eyes up to me and I see he is thinking.

"But last time it was a bust, so I'll make an appointment with a Mediwitch."

"Okay. Good." He places the little vial back on the bathroom sink and lets out a deep breath. "Okay, then. I'm hungry. Do you want something?"

"Um, no, but Cole—"

"How about some chicken?"

"No!" I snap, the mere thought of a chicken causing my stomach to churn. If I had my way then chickens would disappear off the face of the earth. "Let's talk about this," I say.

"Oh. Alright." Cole hesitates. "Let's talk."

"This is scary."

"Yes it is."

"But we're okay, right?"

"We're okay," he confirms.

I smile widely at him and he timidly returns my smile. I go to him and rest my cheek against his chest. And, like always, his arms wrap around me and he drops a kiss on my head. I smile into his chest, feeling as though I may just burst from excitement.

"Let me take another test," I say, breaking away from his embrace after a second. "I want to make sure. Because this time I know there is no stomach flu going around!"

I prance back into the bathroom, Cole close behind me. He still seems rather odd about the entire thing, but I do not question it. He has told me repeatedly that this is what he wants. Granted, most of the time he just happened to be inside of me when I was asking, but still. His words still counted.

I push Cole out of the bathroom so I can pee in peace. I dump my urine into the little vile with the waiting potion. I suck in my breath and exhale excitedly when it instantly turns a bright, vibrant blue.

I open the door again.

"Two out of two," I say, twisting my hands a bit. "I think we may be pregnant. I feel as though we're pregnant."

"I'm just…waiting," Cole responds.

"For what?"

"The official answer." He stuffs his hands in his pocket. "I don't want to get our hopes up again, that's all."

"Well, we'll go tomorrow and see for sure. It's going to be a positive, Cole. I can really feel it this time."

OoOoOo

Month Four.

"Huh," I say.

"What?" Cole asks, poking his head around the corner. He is standing in the adjacent bathroom from our new bedroom.

Let me just say how much I am in love with this house. It has three bedrooms, three bathrooms, a living room, a dining room, an office, a porch and kitchen…and that's it. It is so cozy and homey that I hate to leave it even for a couple of minutes.

Cole and I chose the biggest bedroom for our room. It is upstairs along with the other two bedrooms and one bathroom. It was certainly one of the reasons why I wanted this house.

In the soft light from our two lamps the room just has such a romantic feeling that I am always at ease, especially when Cole is close by.

"What?" Cole repeats. He is standing in the door way looking at me curiously.

"I can't zip my pants!" I say in a horrified tone. "They won't…zip!" I grunt.

"Let me see." Cole comes to me and takes a hold of the zipper. With strength I certainly don't have, he manages to pull the zipper up as far as it would go and then, with a grunt of his own, pulled the button through the small hole.

I instantly couldn't breathe, but I didn't want Cole to think his efforts had gone wasted. I gave him a tense smile and tried to waddle towards me closet.

"Maybe I'll wear a dress," I said with some difficulty. I hurry into the closet and attempt to unbutton my pants. It takes me a minute before I can get the button out of the small hole. It then looks as though I explode out of my pants and the zipper instantly rips open and my itty bitty stomach bump pops out.

Demi was dead jealous that I started showing already. It isn't even really that much. If you didn't know I was pregnant you wouldn't even be able to tell. And what I mean by showing is that my boobs have gotten huge, my pants have gotten tighter and it looks as though I've eaten way too many sweets.

Mum predicts that I'm going to simply pop. She says it can occasionally happen at this time. I really hope I don't pop much more. I can no longer fit into my jeans, which sucks. Also, I'm not very large to begin with and it is already starting to take its toll. I have stretch marks in the oddest of places, like behind my knees for example, and it is getting harder and harder to work up the courage to be naked in front of Cole anymore.

He, for the most part, is absolutely in love with my body at the moment. He says he enjoys me being "fuller" which Demi helpfully translated and means he likes my big boobs. I had deduced as much, as he was always suggesting lower cut tops or no tops whenever we went out together.

"Wear this dress," Cole says, handing one to me. "I like that dress."

I glance at it and then put it back on the rack in my closet. "Cole!" I give him an outraged look. "That dress is only for you for private."

"Then let's stay in private," he suggests. He comes behind me and nuzzles my neck enticingly, but I refuse to be swayed. He has gotten into an awful habit of sexually swaying all my thoughts and keeping me in bed with him for far too long.

"No," I say and swat him away from me. "I haven't been out with my friends in ages! You can't keep me cooped up in here like your sexual prisoner," I say.

"You aren't much of a sexual prisoner," Cole says with a pout. "You're pretty enthusiastic about almost everything."

"Hmph," I say. "Almost being the operative word."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm still a bit disturbed about the one role I was asked to play a week ago," I remind him with a slight smirk.

He instantly turns red and points an accusatory finger at me. "I thought we agreed that that never, ever left the bedroom!"

"We're in the bedroom!" I say.

"No, we're in the closet."

"In the bedroom."

"Just don't mention it, Roe," Cole snaps and stalks out of the closet, all thoughts of my cleavage gone from his mind. He is so easy to distract sometimes. Really, all you have to do is embarrass him and he immediately wants to be out of your sight for a while.

I survey my clothes in slight panic. I don't know what I'm going to do if I can't find anything appropriate to wear. Maybe I will have to wear that dress I bought for myself for Cole.

"Does this make me look—" I stop when I realize Cole is no longer in the bedroom. I sigh angrily and yank the stretchy skirt up my legs. I have to let it rest below my belly button. Now, for a top…

I choose another stretchy material which is really the only forgiving things I own. Anything with buttons or tight material is no longer an option. I'm going to have to go shopping. I don't need maternity clothes yet, as I don't really have much of a bump yet. Mum says most women don't start showing until at least five months, but that I've shown a bit earlier and not to worry. Again, I shudder at the thought of popping.

I step out of the closet and over to the full length mirror I made Cole buy me. First and foremost it is to track the progression of this so-called popping. It also comes in very handy when I need to see how fat or gross I look in a certain outfit.

I survey myself with critical eyes. I am wearing all black because it helps to hide the fact that I am pregnant. I am wearing a black stretchy skirt that falls below my knees. I have a black tank top on as well. I turn to the side before turning back to face the mirror. I frown in thought and then go to my dresser. I take off a necklace that was gifted to me from Cole when our pregnancy was confirmed. It seems to take some of the attention away from my boobs, which don't fit in anything now.

I sigh and muss my hair up a bit before giving an angry growl and running a brush through it once more. It lays flat against my head against and flows lazily down my back.

Once it does I turn to the side again to examine my stomach. Right now I just look rather disproportionate. I grab my boobs and realize with wide eyes that they are larger than a handful. I drop them mournfully.

"You know you look beautiful, don't you?"

I let out a strangled cry and turn wildly to glare at Cole.

"How long have you been standing there?" I accuse.

He seems amused. "A moment." I already know what is coming next. "But, don't stop. Continue what you were doing. I know I was certainly enjoying it."

I roll my eyes and turn back to the mirror. "Just like a man," I mumble. I try to stay angry with him, but I turn back to him just as quickly and ask, "I really look fine?"

He nods. "Yup."

"Okay."

"Beautiful, even."

"Thank you, Cole."

"Sexy."

"Oh for heaven's—" Cole comes and kisses me and, despite knowing his intentions, I instantly return his kisses. I am almost so befuddled by his kisses that I almost fall into bed with him. "Cole!" I pull away as I land awkwardly on his lap. "I have to go out!"

"No you don't," he says with a pout. "You can stay here with me. I'll make you some hot chocolate—"

"It's ninety degrees out."

"Alright, some ice lemonade. Doesn't that sound nice?"

"Nice and tempting, but I'm still going out." He gives me his seducing face and I fight the pull of it. I kiss him one last time for good measure and stand. "Why don't you see what Sebastian is doing? Invite him over!"

"He's hardly a substitute for my lovely and unbelievably sexy—"

"I'm not moving to Siberia!" I snap. "I'm going to Demi's house and then we're going out to dinner. I'll be back by nine, my love." I kiss his forehead. "Be a dear and walk a woman to the fireplace."

Cole walks behind me and I constantly have to swat his hand away from my behind the entire way down the stairs. At first it was rather liberating the way Cole was still attracted to me despite my pregnancy, but now…

Well, before Cole could control himself. Even if he was at his horniest he could usually maintain some semblance of normalcy and calm. Now, though, he is so attracted to my breasts and so attracted to me by association, that I am constantly fighting off knee-shaking kisses and gentle touches that have me unraveling almost immediately. His sudden out of control attraction for me, coupled with my new hormones, has us going at it rather frequently. And let's face it, Cole has had power over me from day one. All he has to do is kiss me a certain way and I'm nearly as ready and horny as he is. I've basically got the sex drive of a sixteen year old boy.

When we get to the fireplace I give him one last kiss and wrap my arms around him. He smells so nice and so comforting that I do feel rather bad about parting with him. His mere presence always gives me a fuzzy feeling.

"I love you," I say to him.

"I love you," he replies. "Be safe."

"I will," I promise. "You keep yourself pleasantly occupied for the four hours I'll be gone." He pouts again. "And I'll make it up to you."

His lips give a slight quirk and he raises an eyebrow. "How?"

I sigh as though I'm seriously thinking it over. "Hmm…Oh, I don't know, maybe have your first born child in five months?"

Cole considers this and then he, too, gives a theatrical sigh. "Well…I guess that'll be alright."

I beam at him. He is so adorable and lovely sometimes. I really can't even imagine what my life would be like without him.

"I love you," I repeat.

"And I love you."

OoOoOo

"Mr. Malfoy!" McGonagall's shrill voice echoes through the hall of the classroom. Everyone turns to look at Cole and Sebastian. "Seeing as you and Mr. Zabini can not remain quiet I'll split you up."

Fuck.

I instantly glance at the seat to my right which is vacant. Of all fucking days for Demi to contract the flu, she picked today. And, of course, the other seat next to me is vacant because Frank and Demi can't keep their faces off of each other even when one of them has the flu and one of them doesn't. Three guesses to who had the flu first. Frank. Stupid Valentine's Day with its flu-filled kisses!

Please be Zabini, please be Zabini, I internally chant. I can handle him. He's gorgeous, but he doesn't literally get my knickers in a twist. He doesn't know exactly what to say that has my cheeks erupting in embarrassment. He doesn't want to date me!

"Mr. Malfoy, go and sit by Miss Potter."

My body literally slumps with defeat and I let out a soft growl of annoyance.

I don't see why I even bother.

Cole turns to me with a victorious look, as though it were his intent all along to get both Demi and Frank sick, and to talk on end for thirty minutes before McGonagall flipped out and split him and Sebastian up. Knowing him, it was his intent the entire time.

Cole slides into the seat next to me and flips his gorgeous brown hair towards me. I am instantly enveloped in the sweetest, softest smell I have ever had the pleasure of inhaling. With a tinge to my cheeks I fix all of my attention and energy on the girl in front of me.

"Hello, Potter."

"Malfoy," I reply tensly.

"I guess we'll be working together today."

"Yup. Just for today."

"Alright, everyone look to the person next to you. Meet your partner for the week."

I give McGonagall a look, but she, of course, doesn't seem to notice any. How can she do this to me? She was young once…I think. Maybe she just suddenly appeared one day ninety and old and bitter and MEAN. Who knows? All I know is that she purposely tries to get me to crack, or to break down sobbing and beg for mercy. Why else would she place my biggest, almost transparent crush right next to me and then make me work with him all week?

"I hope you know what you're doing," Cole says softly in my ear.

The hairs on the back of my arm stand up and goosebumps erupt on my skin. I pray to all the gods in the world that he takes no notice as I fix him with the nastiest look I can muster.

"Excuse me?" I snap.

"I have no idea what I'm doing with these spells, so I just hope you do."

"So I'm supposed to do all the work?" I ask.

"No, of course not. I'll help…some."

"Great. Of all the people in the entire classroom, I get placed with you," I snap.

Cole gives me an affronted look. "You're not exactly Merlin reborn," he retorts.

"Excuse me?" I snap.

"You aren't the smartest witch in this classroom. Stop acting like I'm sucking up all your talent or something, because believe me it'd be a short sip."

I glare at him. "Like you weren't pleased beyond belief when you were placed with me? Who are you kidding?" I hiss at him. I realize this is probably far below the belt, but I could not think of anything else to say. He was partly right.

Cole, for the first time ever, seemed absolutely mortified. I have never before mentioned his crush on me. I've never used it against him. I briefly wondered if I had done something unforgivable. Perhaps he'd punch me?

But then he snapped back, cheeks blushing terribly and replied, "Same to you."

"Ugh! As if!"

"You call me conceited?" he snaps. "Listen to you! I'd rather be with Zabini right now. At least he can properly wave a wand without poking himself in the eye!"

"That was one time in First Year!" I cry. "And if you recall I was trying to show you how to properly do a spell you were doing wrong!"

"Before or after you poked yourself in the eye with your wand?" he retorts.

"You know what?"

"What?"

"You know what?"

"What?"

"You know what?"

"What?" Cole cries, his voice attracting the attention of those around us.

"You're bloody stupid. That's what."

"Ah, thank you. I believe the First Year who you stole the retort from would like it back," Cole says, waving it off.

"No, I mean it," I reply.

"I bet you do."

"How am I supposed to work out these spells with you? You can barely pronounce them!"

"And you can barely act them out with stabbing something!"

"For the last time that was FIRST YEAR!" I bellow.

Everyone has now decided that they'd rather watch us fight then work on their spells. Though we were being quite loud, we hadn't managed to attract the attention of McGonagall way at the front who was writing our homework on the black board.

"I don't have to sit here and fight with you! I am far too mature for this!" I turn my attention to the blackboard.

Cole is quiet for a second before he says, "You know who is always mature?"

"Who?" I say jerkily as I try to concentrate on the spell I am working.

"Grandmothers," Cole says.

"Okay," I say and roll my eyes at his oddness.

"Speaking of grandmothers," Cole says, his voice softening ever-so-slightly.

"Yes?" I ask.

"Those were some nice granny panties you were wearing the other day."

My spell misfires and shoot from my wand directly above McGonagall's head. She lets out a cry of surprise and whirls around.

"Miss Potter! If you can not control that wand then I will!"

I do not answer, as my eyes are locked on Cole's. I stutter for a response.

"It was laundry day," I say lamely.

"Um hmm," he replies, his eyes fixed on the board.

I turn back to the board as my insides shrivel with embarrassment. It is then that I wheel on him and snap, "I may have granny panties—" I realize just how loud I said that as everyone turns to look at me. "—erm…" I trail off and my shoulders slump in defeat until everyone looks away from me again. Cole is smirking in amusement. "I may have granny panties," I hiss at him, "but you're a pervert for remembering them!"

"Believe me. As enticing as the thought of your bum may be to the many boys in the castle, the sight of them in those oversized knickers is not there by choice. It's like it's been branded into my skull."

"You are…You're such a…"

"Wait, would you like me to supply you with an insult? I know it may not be up to par with what you usually come up with, but…let's see…"

"Shut up." I fix my attention back on McGonagall.

"No, really. What were you going to say?"

"I'm not listening," I sing-song.

"It couldn't be about my dashingly good looks, which I know you've admired, could it?" My insides start to twist again. They always start to twist when he alludes to the fact that he knows I think he's bloody good looking. I pray nightly and daily that that is as far as it goes in his head. I hope he doesn't know I constantly picture him shirtless, or (in extremely rare and horny circumstances) pantless. I really hope he just thinks I am like all the other girls who think he has a pretty face.

"Hmm…" Cole says, leaning further in. I tighten my grip onto the table with such force that my knuckles turn white.

Again, he is always getting under my skin. As much as I would love to rip his clothes from his body and shag him within in inch of both our lives, I could bloody fucking kill him at the same time. He knows exactly what to say and what to do that will get me angry within seconds. He never has to try.

And it is there in those moments that I sometimes forget he has the bigger crush on me, and not the other way around. Cole's crush is somewhat rumored between the people we know. He has made it somewhat blatantly obvious from a certain point in Third Year. I personally can not see what he sees in me, but to each his own.

One reason why I think it is a bit bearable is that Michael seems to take no notice over it. Cole has never come up to me while I am with Michael, but Demi has mentioned it in front of him and Michael doesn't even seem to care. Maybe he thinks I am so happy and comfortable with him that I wouldn't stray…I wouldn't, but the temptation is so great sometimes…

"And I know for a fact that it couldn't do with my kiss, which I know you liked very, very, very, very much." With every very I felt myself breathing harder and harder until I turn to him. My cheeks have never been redder, I have never in my entire life been more embarrassed. And there was Cole, a full, I-win smirk on his face.

It is dead silent between the two of us for a minute.

"You bloody fucking imbecile!" I shout, standing and hitting him with my roll of parchment. "How dare…You stupid son of a—" Each word is punctuated with a slap of parchment against his arms, face or body.

"Miss Potter!"

In my haste to get him to shut the fuck up, I forgot exactly where I was. So, there I was, standing in the middle of my Transfiguration class beating the crap out of my crush with whom I had a passionate kiss with not two months ago behind my boyfriend's back. It was a rather twisted position.

"You do not use this classroom as your personal boxing session!" McGonagall screams. "Detention. Tonight. Eight o'clock." I was still breathing deeply when she suddenly cries, "You, too, Mr. Malfoy!"

Cole gives me a satisfied smirk as I sink back onto my chair. He leans in very close to me and says, "Well, I guess I can rest assured that it wasn't about this kiss."

"Oh, bugger off," I snap and shove his face. He tumbles off his chair onto the floor and we get another nights detention.

OoOoOo

Month Five

"I'm having a boy," Demi announces over breakfast. I whip around so fast I nearly lose an eye. Stupid fucking ornamental elastic. That's the last time I am swayed by a salesgirl!

"A boy?" I repeat.

She nods and beams happily. "We found out last month. I positively couldn't wait. Frank wanted to find out, but I wanted to wait. It's better this way, though. At least now I know what I want to buy for…Oh, Merlin, not you, too!"

"I'm sorry," I mumble, wiping a tear away from my eye. "It's just…A boy, Demi! Congratulations!" I wrap her into a hug.

"Why does everyone but me feel the need to cry over this?" she asks. "I'm becoming quite worried."

"Why?"

"I don't cry."

"I've seen you cry," I say.

"I haven't shed a real tear since the day you made me feel like shit in your bathroom."

"What?" I snap. "When did I…Oh. Okay, well, there isn't anything to worry about. You're just not a very emotional person."

Demi thinks this over. "But I am. I get happy quite a bit and I cry…sometimes. But as soon as I tell anyone I'm having a boy they get all weepy and emotional and I sit there awkwardly and stare at them."

"You'll get emotional," I say with confidence.

"I hope so. I don't want to be a cold mother. My mother wasn't cold…No mother I have ever met was cold."

"You won't be cold," I say.

"But I can be mean," she protests. I can see this will be a slight debate between the two of us.

"You're not—"

"No, Roe…I can be mean." She raises her eyebrows for emphasis. "Like I do stuff that I know will piss Frank off just for the joy of hearing him get upset."

"Well, my dear little sociopath, that doesn't mean you're going to be a cold mother," I say.

"But, what if—"

"You have never been mean to me," I tell her. "Never once in our entire friendship did I ever feel like I hated you. You have been the warmest, most considerate friend for almost nineteen years. So, do not worry about how you feel now. It will change dramatically once the baby gets here."

She seems eased by this and says, "What about you?"

"I'm going to be a great mother!" I say a bit defensively.

"No, dummy," she says, rolling her eyes. "I know that!" She rolls her eyes again. "Do you want to know the sex of the baby? It is really useful, you know. Every yellow outfit I looked at or received was just so wrong. I needed to know if I was having a boy or a girl."

"Well," I say carefully, "Cole and I decided we wanted to wait to find out. There aren't many surprises left in life—"

"Yes there are," she says dismissively.

I roll my eyes. "Be that as it may," I say, "we've decided not to know."

That isn't exactly true. Cole decided we didn't want to know. Well, Cole won the decision not to know. I swear I will never play rock paper scissor shoot with him ever again! He always wins!

Demi raises her eyes and says in a sing-song voice, "It's better if you know."

I think about this as I get home. I watch Cole going about his business, seemingly oblivious to my inner thoughts. He is slowly painting the nursery a creamy yellow color. His wand zaps this way and that before he decides to do it himself.

"These blasted wands never put enough paint in the right spots," he says over his shoulder.

"Cole…" I say timidly.

"Hmm?" he asks.

"Do you like that color for the walls?"

He bends upright and glances from it to me and then back again. Not for the first time he seems a bit cautious about how to speak and just what to say.

"Didn't we agree on this color? Do you…Do you want a different color for the walls?"

"Maybe," I say, trying to find the best way to spring this on him. "What about…blue…or pink?"

"Well, we'd need to know the sex of the baby for that and…" He narrows his eyes at me. He instantly becomes defensive. "You said I won and it was my decision not to know. You said you didn't want to know, either."

"I know I did," I say, chewing thoughtfully on my lip. "But now…"

"But now what?" he asks.

"But now I want to know," I reply. "Is it really that big of a deal?"

"Yes."

"Is it?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

Cole seems stumped for a proper answer. He glares at me as he tries to come up with a proper response. Finally he says, "Because, Roe."

"Because why?"

"Because I won!"

"That's stupid!" I snap. "Fine, let's do it again."

"No!" Cole snaps back. "I won fair and square."

"Come on, one more time." I hold out my hand. "Come on."

"No."

"Scared?"

"Are you kidding me with this right now?"
"Come on, Cole! Be a man and put your hand out."

"You need to calm down."

"Do it, Cole!" I cry.

"Fine." Cole switches the paintbrush in his hand to the other and holds out his hand. "On the count of three. One, two, three—"

I put down paper as he puts down scissors.

"Damn it!" I cry. "Two out of three."

"No. I won. Again."

"Two out of three!"

"Fine," Cole says warily. "One, two, three—"

I put my hand out at four and still manage to lose.

"God DAMN IT!" I bellow furiously. "This game is stupid. Let's do something else. I know! We'll have a pie eating contest."

Cole gives me an incredulous look. "Seriously?"

"What?"

"You are like a black hole with food right now."

"I am not!"

"I watched you inhale an entire pizza the other night. Not a small, not a medium, but a large." He raises an eyebrow. "A pie would be no small task for you."

I stare at him in outrage before spitting, "I don't have to ask you for your permission, you know."

"Excuse me?"

"I was giving you a chance to voice your opinion. I can go to the Healer's office any time I want and find out what I'm having."

"Oh no you won't!" Cole threatens.

"Well, maybe I will. And maybe I'll just come home one day and accidentally blurt out that we're having a boy! Or maybe I'll accidentally leave out a couple of pink booties."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Wouldn't I?" I ask, arching an eyebrow and flouncing from the room.

Would I?

Now in the privacy of our bedroom I feel slightly less confident and slightly more guilty. It wouldn't be entirely fair to find out if Cole didn't also want to. I can't do that to Cole. Also, he seemed pretty miffed at me.

I can't find out the sex of the baby.

Unless he wants to, too.

Which means…

I don't even have to move before Cole comes storming into the bedroom. It seems in the forty-five seconds we've been apart he has had the time to work up a plausible argument.

"Rosemary Ginevra Malfoy—" I wince at the use of my full name. "I swear on everything holy that if you go to the doctor's appointment against what we decided and without my consent—"

"I know, Cole," I say in a small voice.

"I—What?"

"You're right," I say with a sigh. "That would be unfair of me."

"Oh. Er, right. Yes, yes it would be unfair." He seems a bit put off as though he were looking forward to yelling. "Okay, then."

"Come here." I hold out my arms and he timidly comes forward. I think he was expecting a full blown fight, and to find me relenting so quickly and easily has definitely scared him. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Cole says gruffly.

I stand up on my tip-toes and give him a kiss. Once we break apart I give him a broad smile and say, "Go sit down on the bed."

"Why?"

"Just do it," I say in a whisper. "You'll like it."

Cole sits down on the bed all the while giving me a rather nervous look. He isn't dumb, and he knows me pretty well now. I think he might have the tiniest inkling as to where this is going.

I walk over to him and then, before he has a chance to react, I sit down fully and completely in his lap. His hand immediately come to my hips to lift me up again, but I start stroking one hand against his neck…very close to that one little spot.

I trail kisses along his jaw line until I reach near his ear. By the time I get there he is protesting.

"Roe…I don't know if this is such a great idea."

At least he doesn't know my true reasoning behind it. His hands are trying to pick up my hips, though with some of the baby weight it has gotten harder, so I zero in on his spot. If I do it just right I can get him to become slightly immobile.

I kiss and kiss and kiss until his hands stop trying to pick up my hips and fall limply at our sides. I smirk against his neck and continue doing this for a bit before I experimentally rock my hips forward. His eyes fall shut and a small sound escapes his lips.

Got ya.

"You know," I whisper in his ear.

"Hmm?" he says distractedly.

"We could easily pick out baby names if we knew what we were having," I say in the same soft voice. Best not to jostle him too much from this romantic session.

When he doesn't say anything I try again. "And we wouldn't have to keep calling it 'It' or 'The baby' or 'them.'" I suck harder and he bucks against me. "You know?"

He nods against my face. I feel a delighted swoop in my stomach.

"So it's decided?" I say and begin to pull his shirt over his head. It falls behind my and I instantly trail my fingers up his sides as my mouth goes back to his neck. I continue there for a few seconds before saying, "We'll go to the Healer tomorrow and see what we're having?"

"Huh?"

"Yes or no," I say quickly.

"Roe!"

I am suddenly lifted into the air and set right on my feet. I glance up at Cole's flushed face and feel a stab of annoyance.

"I wasn't done," I snap at him.

"Oh, I know what you're doing!" he cries. His hand goes to his neck which I've been abusing for about twelve minutes and he gives me an outraged look. "I wish I never told you about this damn spot!"

"You didn't," I say. "I found it all on my own, thank you."

The day I found it all I did was kiss his neck in exactly the right place and happen to cup him through his jeans a couple of times before he started bucking around and got all shifty and embarrassed. It gave me a thrill then (and still does) to know he has a spot that makes him go absolutely bonkers.

"Stop using it against me!"

"I can't help how sensitive it is, Cole," I say. "So you don't want me to kiss your neck?" I arch an eyebrow. "You never want me to kiss you there?"

The only time Cole ever wants me to kiss him there is when we're alone in a house with no where to be in the next few hours. All of our best sex has started with fifteen minutes of just making out; he kissing my neck, me kissing his.

"I do," Cole says in an embarrassed voice. "It's just…" He throws me a filthy look. "You fight dirty."

"Why thank you," I say. "Oh, alright, I'm sorry. Come here."

"I don't think so," Cole says, holding up his hands in defense. "I'm not falling for that trick again in the near future."

"Oh, don't be stupid, Cole." When he still doesn't move I go to him and wrap him into a hug. "I'm sorry."

"Okay."

"Forgive me?"

"Forgiven."

I kiss his chest and feel him leading us back to the bed. Hmm…maybe I still can get my way. I have to play this very carefully, though. Cole is already on to me. I might have to do something else…

He does let me kiss him there again. I am just doing a slight victory dance when he pulls back from me.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"Well," Cole says. "You've voiced all of your reasons for finding out, but I haven't gotten to voice my reasons for waiting." He bunches my skirt up around my hips and slides my knickers down my legs.

"Hey, no fa—" The rest of my words expire with a puff as I inhale sharply. My head falls back against the pillows.

I lose at everything!

OoOoOo

It happened again. I can not believe it happened again. I had gone four long months without a single internal mention or remembrance of them and then, quite suddenly, they're back. All it took was one look at him and suddenly I'm dream-fucking Cole Malfoy again.

Believe me when I said that the first time it happened I was more than horrified. As it was I was barely fifteen and in my Fourth Year. The dream itself wasn't really a sex dream, but it was the one that let my inner thoughts clue me in to what I had feared all along: I was in love with Cole Malfoy.

The first dream was simple. He was standing in the Great Hall all by himself and I was on the other side of him. We stared at each other, presumably waiting for the other to make the first move. I guess my dream-self cracked first, because a moment later I was walking towards him. Butterflies went rampant in my stomach as I got close enough to reach out and touch him.

"What are you doing?" Dream-Cole asked.

"I don't know," Dream-me replied. I went forward further and wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled my face against his chest. A second later my hands trailed down his ribs and then under his plain t-shirt. When my fingertips touched his bare skin he let out a groan and I awoke with a shout.

It was the first time in my entire life that I had an orgasm. And the dream wasn't even anything that special.

It was nearly unbearable to see him after that. I was sure he must have known not only what I had dreamed, but what I had done milliseconds after the dream. I was sure he was in my head seeing me replay the dream over and over and over again and I was sure he could feel my knickers dampen with each thought of it.

I was so ashamed and so freaked out that I didn't say anything to anyone and I pretended it had never, ever happened. Though, on the rare occasions when I had the dorm all to myself, I had to be very creative in how I spent my time, lest I do not so lady like things all the while thinking of Cole Malfoy.

I only dreamt about Cole Malfoy one last time before school let out, though this one did not give me naughty feelings. This one wasn't that bad. We were simply standing together, holding hands. When I awoke the next morning, I could still feel the warmth of his hand on mine.

Then in October of my Fifth Year they started again. And, seeing as I happened to have matured slightly in my knowledge of sex, thanks to Demi and Frank, my dreams had been more vivid. And bloody fucking naughty. Well, sometimes they weren't, and those were the worst. The absolutely normal dreams freaked me out more than the sex dreams. I had made a believable, hypothetical situation and presented it to Demi: Is it weird for a girl to think sexually of a man who makes fun of her sometimes? She told me that no, it wasn't. She said lots of people did it. However, when I asked her if it was okay to have an orgasm after having a dream where said person simply ran his hands through my hair, she gave me a rather odd look. I was so freaked out and embarrassed that I blurted out, "That's the same look I gave Bree Harris!" I have never been sure if Demi believed me or not.

Speaking of the dream with the hair…Well, let me just tell you that I had been so afraid to fall asleep that I was up very, very late. It drove Demi bonkers because I wouldn't say why I won't fall asleep, yet I try and keep her up with me nightly.

"No, you crazy bastard!" she finally yelled and promptly fell back asleep.

So I was forced to stay up until three in the morning, petrified of what would play out from behind my closed eyes. It wasn't even the dreams themselves that freaked me out, just how I reacted to them. It shouldn't be normal for a fifteen year old girl to get excited over some hair…is it?

The dream I had the other month was by far one of the best…well, then that would be the worst…wouldn't it? Oh, bugger it. In this dream I had my knickers around my ankles and was kissing Cole's neck furiously as his hand was buried in between my legs.

When I woke up that morning I had to…well, take care of myself and then I, as always, dashed into the bathroom for a cold shower. When I got out I padded over to the mirrors to look at myself clearly. As I stood there and took in the sight of my still flushed cheeks I said out loud, "You're in love with Cole Malfoy."

And I haven't had a dream since.

OoOoOo

Month Six

Cole shuffled the deck and pulled out a card. He glanced down at it. "This is for a boy. Adam."

"No."

"No as well."

I picked a card. "This is also for a boy. Hank."

"No."

"Nope."

"Girl. Delilah."

"No."

"Fine." Cole always gets moody when I reject one of his names.

"Boy. Liam."

"Um…no."

"Same."

"Girl again. Charlotte."

"Yes."

Cole looks up at me surprised. "Really?"

"I like that name."

"Ok. You pick."

I take a card out from my deck. "Reb…ecca." I look up at him with an incredulous glare. "Why is this name in here?"

"I don't know."

"You wrote it. This is your handwriting!"

"I just like the name, Roe!"

"Do you know what this name means to me?" I ask.

"What?"

"Swallows."

"You think of birds when you think of the name Rebecca?"

"No, you prat! I think of Rebecca Swallows!"

"Well, I wasn't! I just like the name!"

"Fine. I want Michael put in."

"That is entirely different." Cole's face hardens.

"How so?" I ask.

"Because Rebecca didn't torment you all through Hogwarts."

"Michael didn't torment you!"

"He was with you, wasn't he?"

"Fine. No to Rebecca."

"Ok." Cole glances down at a card in his hand. "Linus."

"Erm…maybe."

"Ok."

"Girl. Sophie."

"Yes."

"Yes."

We do this for another hour before we run out of cards. Cole surveys his neat little piles and my haphazard mess with wary eyes.

"Well," he says. "We have at least a hundred nos, eight yeses and twenty…eight maybes."

"Ok. Let's narrow it down with the yeses and maybes," I suggest. "What are the maybes?"

"Linus, Chloe, Zoe, Iris—"

"Wait! Put Iris in the yes pile," I say. "I like that name. Put Sophie in the maybe pile."

"Ok…" I hand it to Cole and he does so.

"What are the yeses again?"

"Charlotte, Iris, August—" He glances up. "That was a yes?"

"Yes." I see his surprised look. "It's a lovely name, Cole."

"I know. It's my middle name."

"I know that," I say. "I might want to name the baby after you, you know if you don't make such a big deal about it…" He beams at me. "Continue."

"Eden, Wyatt, Aidan, Connor and Atticus."

"Right…Tell me why that last one is in there?"

"It is after my mother's father who I was very, very close to."

"OK." I sigh. "This was tiring. I like all the yeses and almost all of the maybes. Get Lola out of there."

"A please is not out of the question," Cole snaps.

"You know please is implied," I return. I glance down at my stomach. "Why can't this baby be of any help? I was at least hoping it would start moving if I mentioned a certain name we liked."

"Did it?"

"Nope. I thought maybe around Charlotte, but that was just gas."

"Lovely."

"Ok. So for girls we like…" I ignore his comment.

"Charlotte, Iris and Eden."

"Ok." I say the names in my head over and over. "I do like those. And for boys…"

"Wyatt, Aidan, Connor and Atticus."

"And August! Don't be bashful."

"I forgot that one." Cole waves his wand and mumbles a spell and all my cards suddenly jump into neat little piles. "Here. I'll throw out all the nos."

"Thanks."

I sit back and stare at the cards that are flipped upright with names on them. Again, this would all be so simple if Cole wasn't such a prat and would just let us find out what exactly we were having. Then we could throw out some of the boy names or some of the girl names.

"Are you sure you don't want to know?" I call to him.

"Yes." He returns and sits down across from me. "Are you sure about August?"

"Yes, Cole! It has special meaning to me."

"What is that?"

"Besides being your middle name, it also pays tribute to the first time we were…together."

"We did that in June."

"Right. But think back. The August Ball was canceled for August because of some bullshit in the Ministry. So, instead they pushed it up to June and included the opening of the new wing in the hospital. And they called it…"

"The June/August Ball," Cole finishes for me.

"If they hadn't of canceled the August Ball and decided to merge it with the hospital opening then we never would have gotten together."

Cole sighs. "Well…I guess…It's just…"

"What?"

"I was named after my great-uncle August."

"Uh-huh."

"He was kind of a tyrant. Banned from eighteen countries. Bounties on his head, that kind of thing."

"Oh." I glance down at the name doubtfully. "Well…"

"But if you really want to name our child that…"

I glance up at Cole. "We can raise him to be gentle. And we won't travel with him."

"Ok." Cole places the card back in the yes pile.

I wince.

"What?" Cole asks, concerned.

"Baby on the move." I hold out my hand and place Cole's large hand on the spot where the baby is now kicking somewhat violently. It usually lets me know when it is hungry. As always Cole's face erupts into a wide grin. I grip his hand tightly and he kisses my forehead.

"I like August," he says.

"With our luck we'll have all girls," I say. I, personally, would not mind all boys. In fact, I'd much rather have all boys than all girls.

"I don't think I'd mind that much," Cole says and kisses me again. "I bet they'd be as pretty as you are. And they'd be popular and all the boys would love them…"

"Boys. Definitely boys."

"Oh yeah."

OoOoOo

"Who is she, anyways?"

"Who?"

"Her." I didn't realize how viciously I spit out the word until I heard Demi speak again.

"Whoa. Who? Calm down!" Demi followed my eyes towards a girl Cole was kissing. "Um…I think her name is Becca…Rebecca."

"Rebecca," I say slowly.

"Yeah. Get this, Rebecca Swallows."

"She does what?" I cry.

"Huh?" Demi asks and then rolls her eyes. "No, you prat. It's her last name!"

"Her last name is Swallows?" I ask.

"Yup."

I internally fumed to myself. What a stupid fucking girl with a stupid fucking last name. Why did she have to be all over Cole?

Fucking arse, again with the blushing? Why can't my cheeks control themselves? They were able to survive embarrassing sex dreams with Cole, but they can hardly survive the mere sight or mention of him?

"Why do you care, anyways?"

"Huh?" I ask.

"Why do you care who he's kissing? Isn't it better that he isn't trailing after you every fifteen seconds?" Demi raised an eyebrow. "Well? Isn't it?"

"For the love of Merlin, Demi!" I reply. "Let a girl swallow."

"Here here," Frank pipes in and we both glare at him.

"Yes, congratulations, Frank, you've made a sexual innuendo," Demi snaps. "Now shut up." He does so willingly, his only thought on our conversation stated.

"I was just wondering," I start, my voice shaking slightly, "because I wanted to know who the poor girl was who was having his mouth all over her." And why she wasn't me.

"Oh." Demi glances back over at them. "Well. Her name is Rebecca and she's in Fourth Year."

FOURTH YEAR?

I internally fume. How dare he date someone so young, so childish! She couldn't be more than fourteen years old and he was basically having his way with her right there in front of all of us. Doesn't he have any decency? What kind of a sick person is he? Where are his morals?

The person to my left nudges me. "Pass the salt."

I do so and turn to Michael with a fleeting look before concentrating on Cole again. It is so easy to concentrate on Cole because Michael and I hardly talk anymore. If anything he has gotten so down right weird that I can barely stand to be near him. He's hot and cold with me way too much.

For example, one moment he's actually quite gentle and rather sweet with me and then the next minute he doesn't want to talk to me. And really, I know I can be a hypocrite at times, but…

If I were to break up with Michael just for the off chance that Cole would still want me there is always that chance that I did something wrong. Maybe Michael is just going through a phase? Maybe he'll get his head out of his arse and realize that I'm a catch, okay? I may not be the prettiest girl in the entire world and my boobs aren't that great and Demi's told me I don't have much of an ass, but I'm sweet. And I have a hell of a lot of patience with Michael.

Michael was sweet when we first got together. And then it all suddenly went to piss! Almost instantly he became slightly distant. We started dating October of my Fourth Year. And even those first months I don't think you could call it dating.

We never had an official first date, now that I think about it. He just talked to me a lot. A part of me liked it because at first I was able to hang out more with my siblings, until we all realized we didn't like each other very much and Elizabeth stopped sitting with us.

Then one summer break before my Fifth Year it was like BAM! Michael was no longer as sweet and gentle as he once was. He would look at me with these big, awful, mournful eyes and I'd say, "What?" and he'd say, "Nothing." And I'd say, "What, Michael?" and again he'd say, "Nothing."

I've always thought he wanted to tell me something, but it was probably something stupid. I turn to him now to see he is scribbling away on a letter. I want to lean over and see what it says, but last time I did it he pushed me and I fell over backwards onto the floor. Like I really give a rat's ass what he's writing. I don't know why he has to be so secretive! He never really speaks to me anymore. If he's so unhappy than he should just break up with me!

Though, the same could be said for me.

But I'm in a different position. I know that now. I want Cole, but Cole only wants me because he can't have me. Demi described the inner workings of Cole's brain over Christmas break, right after our little kiss, which I DID NOT mention to Demi.

"You see," she had said, "Malfoy only bugs you and goes after you because he knows you've got a boyfriend. He enjoys the buildup of what may be, but doesn't want the actual you. In the unlikely event that he were to get you I'm almost sure he'd not want you anymore."

I trust Demi and so I believe her. It actually makes sense.

So, as I have nothing better to look forward to, I stay with Michael. At least I've been with Michael long enough to know him…kind of. Even though we've been going through a weird patch for…hmm…well, about a year or so, I know things will even out. They have to even out…don't they?

It isn't even as though we're dating anymore, not really. We've stopped kissing. Quite abruptly, actually. I got a good night's kiss one night and then when I went for my morning one he pushed me away. That was about…seven or eight months ago.

And let me tell you…I'm a woman with needs! I can't help it or myself!

The other day Michael and I were sitting in the Common Room all by ourselves. He was doing homework and I was just looking at him. Before I could really understand what I was doing I reached across, picked up his hand and placed it on my chest.

He turned to look at me and said, "What are you doing?"

"That is my boob."

"I know that. Why am I touching it?"

"Because you can," I said.

This seemed to upset him and he dropped his hand immediately as though he were ashamed. I burned red with embarrassment.

"Why won't you kiss me?" I asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why don't you kiss me?"

"I kiss you."

"No you don't!" I accused.

"Yes, I do, Rose—" He broke off when I leaned across my arm rest to kiss him. His lips were stiff against mine. "Stop it!" he broke away and gently pushed me back onto my seat. "Merlin, it's like kissing my sis—" he broke off in his mumbling and went back to his work.

"If you aren't going to kiss me or touch my boob then I think we should break up," I said into his silence.

Slowly, he turned to look at me and something had flashed into his eyes.

"You want to break up? You really want to break up with me?"

When he laid it out in front of me like that I was unsure.

"No, Michael, I don't, but—" But I did…

"Oh." He turned back to his work.

As I gaze at him now I once again begin to wonder if he is gay. Don't teenage boys generally want to touch their girlfriend's boobs? Some of the Muggle boys don't want to on a more religious note, but Michael isn't religious! And he doesn't mind me touching him occasionally and only if he is in a drunken oblivion. I wish he'd just say he was gay already!

"Ew, look at them go!" Demi says next to me. I turn to look at her.

"Who?"

"Malfoy and that slutty little Fourth Year."

I whip around to see that they are, indeed, going at it.

"Why are you looking at them?" I ask desperately, a sinking sensation in my stomach.

"Hey, you started it!" Demi pauses. "Look at her! She totally just licked his face!"

"Stop—"

"That reminds me…I'm craving ice cream…" Her eyes search the table for it.

OoOoOo

Month Seven

Demi is in labor!

Cole and I were woken at about six this morning with the news. It is now very late in the evening, almost near the next day.

"I feel bad for the baby," Cole says, taking a sip of his tea.

"What? Why?" I ask, perplexed.

"You've met Demi, correct?"

"Yes," I say, having no clue where this is going.

"She doesn't have a compassionate bone in her entire body!" he says, fixing me with a look. "It's going to cry once and she's going to send it away."

"That isn't true," I say, fighting hard not to smile. "Demi will be a wonderful mother."

"Would you like to wager on it?" Cole asks.

"How in the world do we do that?" I ask.

"Easy. When it turns seventeen if it seems like a happy, well adjusted child, then you win. If it doesn't then I win."

"Win what?" I cry.

"Anything you want."

"Seventeen years from now? Gee. What are my choices?" I turn away from his smile to think about it. It takes a minute for me to choose something plausible. "Okay. If I win I want foot massages every night for a month."

"And if I win?" he asks.

"I have no idea. You pick."

"Easy. Sex."

"Wow. Didn't see that one coming," I say, rolling my eyes and smiling at him. "Fine. Sex."

"Everyday for a month, too," Cole says.

I turn to him in surprise. "You can't be serious!"

"Why not? You get foot massages!"

"We'll have children!" I say. "There is no way I am having sex with you every single day!"

"You never know. You might not know how you feel," Cole replies.

"I guess I'll have to wait," I reply.

"So you think there's a chance I might win," Cole says, smirking at me.

I turn my head and sniff at him. "I have said no such thing. Oh, by the way, we should probably write this down. You know how forgetful I am lately."

"There you are! We've been looking all over for you!"

Cole and I turn to see Frank hurrying towards us and I feel an awful swoop in my stomach at the panicked look on his face. His face is completely white, his eyes wide with shock and I've never seen a more startled or dreading face.

"What's the matter? Is something the matter?" I ask quickly, attempting to stand.

"She's…it's coming!" he says. "He's coming."

"He is?" I cry. "Now?"

"Yes. A Healer just went to fetch another Healer for the delivery. She's going to start pushing now. Come upstairs with us."

Frank and Cole hurry only a few feet off when I cry out Cole's name. "I can't…stand," I grunt, trying to hoist myself from my slightly reclined position. I try and push my massive stomach out of the way in vain. It's quite stuck to me.

"Here, let me help," Cole says. He pulls my chair back from the table and holds firmly onto my arms. Keeping my back straight, he pulls me into the air and onto my feet. "That's getting harder everytime. You keep getting heavier…I mean, lovelier."

"Did you say heavier?" I ask crossly. "There's a baby inside of here. It isn't as though I've put on all this weight for my own benefit!"

"I know you haven't," Cole says quickly. "Don't take it the wrong way, either. I just meant that with the baby getting bigger you've been getting heavier."

"You didn't want some scrawny, limp baby did you?" I ask. He shakes his head no.

"Then don't complain about how heavy I am!"

"Roe, I never complain about how heavy you are. It doesn't bother me."

"I should bloody hope not!" I say. "I'd like to see you get pregnant and carry this baby to full term. It hasn't been easy, you know."

"I know, Roe. I sleep right next to you, remember?"

"Yeah. That's all we do lately. Sleep."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Hey, guys?" Frank's head comes around the corner. "I've asked the baby and he said he'd rather not wait for you two to keep fighting. So you can finish up now and miss his birth, or finish up later and come watch the miracle of life."

"He called me fat," I say, poking a thumb at Cole.

"You are fat," Frank says.

"That isn't polite!" I accuse. "Coming from a new father—" I start suddenly. "Demi's pushing right now! Cole, help my heavy arse up the stairs!"

We get to the top of the stairs to see an exhausted Demi, with sweat plastering her hair against her forehead. She gives me a look as I come in.

"Never again," she insists. "I can't do this ever again." She shakes her head for emphasis and says, through clenched teeth, "This actually hurts a million times worse than you prepare yourself for."

I feel a nervous rippling in my stomach. "Oh?" I ask thickly.

"It's almost over. The worst is over. We've seen the worse." She snaps her head to glare at the Healer's back. "Right?"

"Pardon, dear?" The kind looking Healer turns around, eyebrows raised.

"The bad part's over, right?"

"Once the baby is out, yes, dear."

"How much longer?"

There is a pop and a new Healer arrives, bright eyed.

"How are we all today?" she asks excitedly. "You must be the one having the baby," she says to Demi, who in turn glares at her. "Let's just see what we've got her—"
"I've got to push!" Demi cries. "I've got the feeling to push. I want to PUSH!"

"Alright, darling. Just give me one second over here and then I think maybe it might be time."

"Maybe? Oh, no, you don't understand! I have to push. I have to push. I HAVE TO PUSH."

"Doctor," I say timidly. "Maybe you should let her push."

But as soon as she does start pushing, I really wish she would stop.

I stare at it hanging out of Demi and feel myself get rather sick to my stomach. I can not believe that my best friend since birth has a baby, her baby, hanging half out of her vagina. It is, quite simply, the grossest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. In fact, I think I am quite confident to say that I am scarred.

"How does it look?" Demi grunts.

I plaster on a fake smile. "Beautiful! You can see the head!"

"You can?" she says. "What does it look like?"

"Erm…well, rather bald. And red."

"The baby has red hair?"

"No. There's a lot of blood."

"Oh, gross!"

"You're not the one staring at it," I reply.

"Mrs. Longbottom! I'm going to need you to focus on what's happening here," the Healer snaps.

Demi continues to push. Her face is red and sweaty and nasty. She hasn't looked more strained or lovely in her entire life. There is something so glowy about her that I become quite jealous, despite the shouts of pain she's in.

"I. Am. Never. Doing. This. Again."

"One last push."

"No. Just ya—AH!"

With a slight pop, Demi and Frank's beautiful baby slides out and into the waiting hands of the Healer. There is an immediate onslaught of noise, none louder than the baby crying. His little face is scrunched up, his fists balled up in fury.

"It's a boy!"

"Oh my God, Demi! Demi you had a baby! Demi! Demi?" I turn to look at her, but she is staring at the baby, eyes wide and silent.

And then, to my surprise, Demi, who had always been so strong and the epitome of power and strength, burst into tears. Not small tears that can be wiped away with the brush of a hand. No, Demi burst into sobs. Huge, loud sobs that echoed in the small room.

It got even worse when the baby was placed on her chest. She cried even harder. Harder than I've ever seen her cry. I'm crying, too, but I blame it on the hormones. Of course, I blame it on the little baby that is currently screaming at the top of his lungs.

Demi strokes his hair, despite the awful gunk all over him. She turns to Frank, her eyes wide as though she can't quite believe this is what came out of her. And then they kiss and I immediately feel as though Cole and I are intruding on something quite special.

"What are you going to name him?" I ask as I kiss Demi's forehead.

Demi turns to Frank and before he can open his mouth she says, "Francis."

Frank seems generally surprised by this. "Really?" he asks.

Demi nods emphatically. She hastily wipes her eyes. "Yes, Frank. I love you."

"Demi, I'm going to go get your parents," I say. Remus couldn't stomach more than five minutes of the birth before he had to excuse himself. Tonks said he was exactly the same way during Demi's birth, but she made him stay in there for that one.

As I close the door over to the bedroom I take a rather queasy and ill looking Cole downstairs for some cool air. I meet Tonks and Remus in the kitchen and tell them what happen. They hug each other and kiss tenderly before hurrying up the stairs.

Once alone I turn to Cole with raised eyebrows.

"Well," I say.

"Well."

"Maybe they can knock me out for the birth."

"Me too."

"Let's let the Lupin/Longbottom family have their rest," I suggest.

"Okay."

As Cole goes forward I grab his hand and squeeze it encouragingly.

OoOoOo

I finally convinced Demi to come with me to the library to study for finals with me. It was no easy effort, let me tell you that. She was more than content to study in the stuffy Common Room.

So, on a rather warm Saturday morning, we entered the library and were horridly surprised to see it filled to the brim with people.

"What in the…" I curse. "What are all these people doing?" I ask crossly. "And so early? It's nine in the morning!"

"Yup, and I'm awake," Demi snaps. She glances around for a table. "Look, there's one over there."

We begin to walk over to it and then both of us freeze.

"Nope."

"This is just great."

Demi deliberates and then says, "Listen, I'm up at nine on a Saturday. We'll just go sit with them and we'll study for a little and then we'll go and—"

"Wait, we can't study. There aren't enough seats. Where is Frank going to sit?" I ask.

"He's on the Quidditch pitch with his friends."

"Oh, alright…Wait! What friends? We're his friends."

"He has other friends," Demi says.

"He has other friends?" I nearly cry.

Demi shrugs. "I guess so. So, let's go…" She begins to tug me over there when I dig my heels into the carpet.

"No, Demi! Let's just…"

"What is the matter with you?" Demi asks.

I can't tell her. "Nothing."

So, we head over to the only table with two open seats. As we get directly in front of it Demi clears her throat.

"Do you mind if we sit here?" She spits the words out with great difficulty.

Sebastian Zabini and Cole Malfoy both snap their heads up at the same time. They are sitting next to each other, shoulders touching. Cole's eyes lock on mine.

"Oh, erm…Yes! Of course!" Cole instantly swipes his things off the table leaving an empty spot. He turns to Zabini and then nudges him with a glare. With a roll of his eyes, Zabini, too, clears a spot for us.

Demi and I both sit down to awkward silence. I instantly look down at my notes so I don't have the distraction of Cole's stare on my mind. I can feel his eyes on the top of my head, which already make it hard to concentrate.

After a half an hour, Demi stands and announces she's running to the loo. I give her a desperate look and she says she'll be back in just a moment. As soon as she's gone the tension seems to multiply.

I'm almost a hundred percent positive that Zabini has at least some idea of how Cole feels about me. Most of our year does, but…I also wonder if maybe Cole is more open with his friend than I am with mine.

And then I am suddenly gripped with fear and embarrassment. My palms start to sweat. What if Cole told Zabini about the kiss in December? What if Zabini knows about it? It's already bad enough Zabini might know every little thing Cole has ever thought about me.

I start tapping my quill against my parchment nervously. I would have gone with Demi, but I needed to insure our seats were saved. Cole would probably have saved them for us, but then it also would have seemed like I couldn't stand to be with him without Demi. I can't, but he doesn't need to know that. At least we have Zabini as a bumper.

"Well…if you don't mind, I'm going to also use the bathroom," Zabini announces, standing. "I'll be back in a moment. You two kids play nice."

I blush in embarrassment and, with a quick look at Cole's face, see he has done the exact same thing. Our eyes meet for only a second before I drop them back to my notes. My entire body has erupted in heat and I know it is no longer any use looking at my notes.

I turn my head to the side and let my hair spread over my arm and the table. I chance a glance at Cole and see that he is staring at it. As soon as he sees me looking, though, he drops his gaze. I can tell he's embarrassed.

And suddenly, I want to talk to him, to actually have a normal conversation that doesn't involve us antagonizing each other. I want to talk to him like normal teenagers.

"Erm…what are you studying?" I ask.

Cole glances up at me in surprise. He fumbles for a response, caught so off guard at my polite conversation starter. "Um…Transfiguration."

"Oh." I chew on my bottom lip. "Potions." I gesture at my notes.

"Ah."

We sit in silence for a minute. I glance down at my watch and see that Demi has been gone fifteen minutes.

"I'm sorry about you and Michael."

I suddenly snap back to attention.

"Are you?" I ask.

I didn't intend for it to be mean, but I think perhaps Cole thinks so, for he drops his gaze and instantly starts twirling his quill around nervously.

"Well, thank you," I say hurriedly. "I appreciate that. I, er…I also liked the roses." Oh, for the love of Merlin. Why did I have to mention those roses? Because. The smile on Cole's face is absolutely worth it.

"Oh. You're welcome." He gives me a timid smile and I shyly return it. "You know…" he begins, but abruptly stops.

"What?" I ask after a second.

"Nothing."

"What?" I ask again.

"Forget about it."

"No. Really, what?"

"I don't want to say."

My heart begins to beat wildly. "Why?" I ask him.

"Because, you're just going to make fun of me…" He looks absolutely mortified this time.

"I won't," I insist.

Cole mumbles something I don't catch.

"I didn't hear you," I say in a soft, encouraging voice.

Cole sucks in a deep breath, glances quickly up at me before dropping his gaze again and says, "I'd never cheat on you." He glances up at me.

I open and close my mouth a few times and Cole drops his gaze again. I think he takes my silence as yet another refusal.

Sucking in a deep breath, I ever-so-slowly slide my hand across the table to where his is sitting. I slide my small hand over his large hand.

"I know you wouldn't, Cole," I say softly. It is the first time I have ever called him by his first name. I gave his hand a squeeze. "I'm just…"

"I understand," he says.

We are silent for a second before I say, "You're not doing that spell right."

"Yes I am."

"No you're not."

"Yes I am!"

"No you're not!

"Right, like I'd listen to you! You can barely wield a wand properly!"

"I swear to Merlin if you bring up that incident one more fucking time!" I threaten in a near yell.

So, when our best friends found us again, it was to our usual bickering. Though, they didn't know how half hearted it was at best. I know I was actually thinking Cole's words over in my head seriously.

OoOoOo

Month Nine.

At first Cole didn't seem to mind, liked it even. I think what he liked the most was my new cleavage. He would give any excuse to grab at them. I didn't mind much, it was a relief that he didn't think it was disgusting.

Then the shit hit the pan, or whatever that Muggle phrase is.

As soon as my stomach completely exploded and popped out, Cole backed off completely. He made all types of excuses for not wanting to do it.

Tonight as I got into bed I made sure to snuggle close to him and stroke his chest, trying to get a proper reaction from him. Instead of him coming at me like usual he simply kissed my cheek and rolled over.

I watched the back of his head for over a minute before snapping.

"Cole," I purr, sliding close to him, my giant stomach pressing into his back. "What are you doing?"

"Sleeping," he answers.

"How about we do something different tonight?" I ask, my hand attempting to slide under the waistband of his trousers.

He catches it and gently pushes it away before saying, "Not tonight…Er, I have a headache." The uncomfortable and embarrassed tone in his voice in turn causes me to blush. I repulse him!

"Cole!" I cry.

"Hmm?" He peers at me over his shoulder. "Something the matter?"

"Why won't you touch me?"

He turns to look at me bashfully. "I have touched you."

"Not in over three months!" I fume. "Do you think I'm disgusting or something?"

"Of course not!" He sits up. "Never!"

"Well then why won't you even kiss me?"

"I ki—"

"Not properly," I snap. "You peck at most if I'm lucky."

He frowns and then says softly, "That's our baby in there." He places his hand on my stomach. "We made that baby."

"Yes, and unless you forget, the same thing I am suggesting we do now is how the baby got in there."

"Doesn't it make you feel uncomfortable?" he asks.

"Huh?"

"Having sex when the baby is right there!" He swallows thickly.

"But…the baby doesn't know," I reply.

"I do," he says uncomfortably. "And you're so big…it's just…"

"I'm nine months pregnant," I tell him. "Of course I'm huge!"

"That's another thing!" he says suddenly. "The baby must be coming down from wherever it's been these nine months…What if we jostle it too much? Or give it shaking baby whats-it?" He licks his lips. "Or, and do not laugh, what if we poke it in the head?"

I immediately bite the inside of my cheek to stop a smile from spreading across my lips.

"We won't," I insist.

"Roe…"

"Cole." I say his name firmly and coldly. "I am forty-five pounds over my fat weight. I have what feels like a ten pound baby sitting on my bladder and every other organ down there. I'm always hot. I always have to pee. I'm starving. My ankles and feet are swollen and they ache like nothing else. I have tremendous heartburn and for some reason I am always thirsty. Sex is the one thing that will get our baby out of my body before I reach in and rip it out myself. If you love me at all, even a tiny smidge, you will shag my properly and jumpstart this labor before I go absolutely insane." I grab his shoulders. "I am no longer asking and pleading with you. You, as my husband, have to do this. I am telling you to do this. We took vows and you promised to love me in sickness and in health."

"That doesn't really apply—"

"Cole!"

"Fine! Come here."

Within seconds I have him out of his pants and inching into me so slowly and perfectly that I feel as though I could cry. The stomach does cause some problems, but not any extreme problems. Well, at least for me.

We are at a wonderful pace when I feel the familiar feeling growing inside of me that I missed so dearly. I chant Cole's name over and over, so loud that, with a smirk on his face, he says, "Shh! Neighboring countries can hear you!"

"Shut up! You're ruining…" I mumble distractedly as I arch into him.

"Woah! See?" Cole backs away so quickly that for a moment I do not even realize he is gone.

"What the hell—"

"It punched me! It was clearly telling me to cut it out."

"No, no, no!" I say furiously. "You've felt the baby kick all the time, Cole! Trust me, the baby doesn't care!"

"Can we do it another way…?"

"Like?" I ask.

"Any other way?"

"Fine."

But even as we do it another way I can tell Cole isn't all that comfortable, or enthusiastic. He picked a spot on the ceiling and stared at it.

"Roe…I can't do it this way, either," he says after a few minutes.

"Why? It's my quadruple chin, isn't it?" I moan sadly. "I can't hel—"

"No…you're just…crushing me. Slightly," he says. "You're amazingly gorgeous…but when you rest all your weight on me…"

"Not for anything, Cole, but I was kind of in the middle of something when you stopped me before, and now you're doing it again. As of this point I don't care if I have to stand on my head while you do it from behind. I just want you to shag me properly, like I've shagged you all this time without complaint."

"Huh," he says.

"What? What's that 'huh' supposed to mean?" I ask.

"You complain loads of times," he says. "That's all."

"This isn't the time to be fighting!" I say quickly, hurrying to avoid a fight. "I'm asking you to do me a favor as your wife."

"Okay. Roll back over. Maybe the baby fell asleep."

When I was finished, and I took my damn time, let me tell you, I rolled off the bed and slammed into our itty bitty bathroom. I washed up as much I could without physically getting into the tub, because then I would need Cole's help getting out.

When I open the door it is only to see Cole sitting on the bed, looking directly at me as though waiting for me to come out. I sniff and raise my head before stomping across the room to the vanity.

I, channeling my mother from so far away, grab my wand and begin zapping things clean.

"Are you mad?" Cole asks.

I turn slightly to see him standing against the wall looking at me nervously.

"No. Do I look mad?" I spit.

"Er…yeah," he replies after a seconds pause.

I wheel around. "You better hope this baby is a boy, Cole," I bark. "Because if you're never going to touch me again then you're sure as hell gonna need it to carry on the family name."

"I do want to touch you!" he complains. "You're just…"

"Fat?"

"What if it remembers that I was sticking my thing into your thing? What if it hates us because of it?"

I place a hand on my hip and wait for his stupidity to reveal itself to him. When he raises an eyebrow as though to repeat the question, I say, "You idiot, it can't remember what we were doing. It won't remember anything until at least two years!"

Cole sighs. "Sex induces labor."

"Exactly, which you obviously don't want to do." I wait for him to complain, but he doesn't. "You don't want the baby yet?"

"Are we ready?"

"Yes."

"Are we?"

"Yes."

"Really ready?"

"As ready as any of us can be."

"But how do you know?" He looks desperate.

"I don't know," I say carefully. "My instincts are telling me that the baby is going to be alright. I have to believe that everything is going to be okay. We're going to be great parents."

"We're too young."

"Well, we should have discussed this nine months ago when you said, 'Okay, all set' but seeing as we didn't, we just have to go with the flow. If we weren't meant to have the baby then we wouldn't."

"And you're not scared?"

"I'm petrified! I think what if it hates us or something?"

"Exactly!"

"But then I remember that we're going to be great. The baby won't hate us. It will love us because we will be here for them when they really need us, and so, one day when we're old and senile, it will take care of us in our time of need. I'm not fearless or stupid. I know it is going to be hard and awful for a while, but…I can't wait to meet the baby I've been toting around for nine months. I'm more excited."

I take a deep sigh. "But you're right. Let's wait for me to be induced."

"We don't want to rush the baby…"

"Right." I shrug and give him a small smile.

Cole eyes me for a moment before saying, "If you really want to…then when we can do it again."

My eyes well up with tears. "My ankles are so swollen!"

"I know…I'm sorry. Come on."

We are settling back into bed when Cole asks, "Does this really work?"

"Huh?" I ask, too busy yanking my shirt over my head.

"Sex," he repeats. "Does it make the baby come?"

"Yes," I reply.

"Ok…here goes nothing."

But the baby doesn't come that night, or the next night, or the next night.

The baby doesn't come for an entire week afterwards.

"It's official," I say to Cole as he washes a dish and places it in the drying rack. Cole likes to do things the Muggle way now. Well, some things. Other things he likes to do the magic way.

"What's official?" he asks me.

"The baby hates me."

"Already? Nice job."

"I'm serious."

"Well our child hating you is a serious thing," Cole replies.

"Are you going to listen?"

"Yes."

"He or she won't come out because he or she hates me and wants me to suffer." I nod. "There is no other reason why this baby is literally clinging onto the walls of my uterus."

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe the baby loves you so much that it wants to stay inside of you for as long as possible?"

"That isn't why."

"Right, because obviously our baby already hates you. That's the more plausible explanation."

"It's more plausible than our baby being so in love with me that it wants to stay in there forever." I am suddenly gripped by a sudden, blinding fear. "Oh no! What if you're right? What if it stays inside of me for years? What if when I finally do give birth it's to a six year old? What if it kills me?"

"They take the baby out of you before it becomes a child, Roe. They won't even let you go past ten months."

"What if they can't get it out of me?" I ask, beginning to sweat. "Then what?"

Cole seems generally stumped. "They will get it out of you."

"If they can't?"

"They will."

"But what if they can't?" I repeat.

"Roe, there is no question of whether they can or can't. They can. They always can."

"What if I'm that rare case that they can't?"

"Well, then, I imagine you'll explode."

I burst into tears, the absolute horror of exploding overwhelming me.

"I don't want to ex-ex-explode!" I sob.

"It was a joke, Roe! No one wants to explode!"

"I hate you! Don't make jokes!"

"Come here," he says holding out his hands.

"No," I sob, shaking my head. "You're me-mean!" I back away from him. "You're supposed to comfort me and all you're doing is making j-j-j-jokes!" The word 'joke' stuck in the back of my throat as another sob came out. "I'd like to see you do this!"

"Oh, Roe, I'm sorry! I'm just trying to get you to lighten up!"

"I have an eight pound baby inside of me! I can't be light," I snarl. I angrily wipe tears from my eyes. "This isn't fair! Demi got her baby two weeks early! Here I am, two weeks late."

"Roe, you can't compare yourself to Demi. Everyone is different."

"I know that, Dr. Cole," I snap. I'm still involuntarily sniffling. "I'm just so uncomfortable and you think I'm gross and I just want the baby out of me!"

"I don't think you're gross! I think you're gorgeous!"

"You wouldn't even shag me up until a week ago! I practically had to tie your hands to the headboard to get you to do it."

Cole gives me a look. "Listen, let me draw you a bath."

"No," I say grumpily.

"Please?"

"Oh, alright."

"It'll help relax you."

I give a sniff. "I highly doubt that. I haven't felt relaxed in three months!"

In the past month everything has just gotten so much worse. The baby has dropped, which everyone says is a good sign. It would have been a better sign if it dropped right out into my waiting hands, but whatever.

Plus, my back has been cramping for the past two days and I haven't properly slept in two months.

"Come sit in the bath." Cole is suddenly behind me. He gently leads me up the stairs and helps me into the bath. "I'll be in the office. Call me when you're ready to come out."

"Ok."

I settle into the warm water.

"Roe?"

My eyes snap open and I look around the bathroom blearily. Standing in front of me is Cole. He seems relieved that I've woken up.

"I knew you'd be relaxed," he says.

"How long have I been in here?" I ask. I notice the water has cooled.

"About an hour."

I yawn. "The water is cold."

"Let me help you out."

He helps me stand and then helps me step out of the tub. I instantly begin to shiver and he quickly places a warm, fluffy bath towel around my body.

We are half way back to the bedroom when I feel an awful need to pee. A second later, warm fluid runs down my legs and onto the floor. Cole and I both stop, me from the sensation and he from the sound. We both glance down at it and then back up at each other at the same time.

"I guess I should get back in the tub," I say stupidly.

"No! Roe…Your water broke!"

"Oh. Ok." I think about this. "Let me get dressed."

It isn't until the first contraction hits me that I finally realize that I'm in labor. And, no matter how much I wanted it just two hours ago, I am suddenly gripped with brand new fear.

A/N There you have it. More coming soon. Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, I do know what they're having. :)