The name of this chapter is actually 'Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning.'
The room was dark and somewhat quiet, opening one eye I glanced towards the clock on the nightstand, 2:30am... The figure that usually laid beside me wasn't there.. She had barley made it to the couch before she was out cold. There was something wrong yet she would tell no one, she wasn't her old self. She barely came down to the bullpen anymore, if she did it was when she had to leave. She wanted to leave early each day, she had lost some weight and was looking slightly pale with each passing day. I laid there for a little bit before I got up and made my way downstairs. There on the couch I could see her small figure she seemed so fragile. The strongest woman I once knew now looks like she's slowly slipping away from me. I've taken her to see Ducky but the probably is she won't even tell her father figure what's wrong. Not only was I worried about her but so was our family. Ziva, McGee, Tony, Abby, Kate and Jimmy always questioned if she was okay or not.. Paula and Anthony would stop by often especially after they found out she was pregnant. Jackson came by often with a pregnant Jessica as well. No one knew why Jen was acting the way she was it was as if she was shutting out the world once and for all.
I had gone down to the basement where I sat there starring at my newest boat I hadn't done much on it because I wasn't home much. My father had fallen quite ill and i've been visiting him often. As I sat there I thought about what I was going to say to Jen when she woke up. I needed to talk to her when she got up, I needed to know what was wrong I was afraid I was going to lose her once again. I must have drifted off because I was awoken by my phone ringing at 6:00am.
"Gibbs?" I said answering it.
"Hey boss sorry if I was interrupting something but we just got a call for you about your father, the person said he's coming to see you in person and will be here in the next half an hour." Tony said on the other side of the line.
"Thanks Tony we'll be in soon." With that I hung up and made my way upstairs where I woke Jen, I than went and made breakfast while she showered when she was finished she ate and I went to shower. Coming back down I smiled as I took the cup of coffee from her. Carefully we made our way out to the car and drove to work. Once there Jen made her way upstairs to her office while I went to the conference room to meet with this guy.
"Are you a Leroy Jethro Gibbs?" The man asked as I entered the room. With a nod I looked towards him carefully.
"Yes, is my father alright?" I asked wanting to get right to the point. When I saw the guy shake his head I knew something was up.
"I'm sorry to say sir your father Jackson Gibbs has just passed away two days ago.." I looked towards him in shock.
"How'd he die?"
"We believe it was natural causes, he went to sleep and didn't get up the next morning when someone went to check on him they found him..I'm really sorry." I just nodded as I left going to find my team. I had everyone gather in the bullpen. Jackson and Jessica came in with Ducky since I had asked them to bring him in. A few minutes Paula and Anthony came in just as Jen came down the stairs.
"Dad is everything alright?" Jackson asked as he looked towards me carefully I shook my head as I looked towards them.
"No... My father died two days ago." Everyone in the room became silent and one by one they hugged me.
"I'm so sorry Jethro.." Jen said as she hugged me tightly I held her close as we stood there I buried my face in her hair taking in her scent to try and keep me calm.
"The funerals in a few weeks you're all invited I know he loved every one of you.." With that I took Jen's hand and lead her upstairs to her office I needed to talk to her before I lost her as well. Once in her office I shut the door before I had the chance to speak she turned and looked towards me.
"You've been looking at me all week like you wanna ask me something..." She said softly as she watched me carefully. This was my chance to get the truth out of her.
"Any health issues?" There.. There was the question I've been waiting to ask her all week and she just starred at me like I was crazy, I needed to know if the cancer had come back or not because if it did than that was another challenge we would overcome together.
"I'm fine..."She didn't sound so sure and I wasn't convinced so I tired it in a different way.
"Are you sick?" She stared at me for a few minutes before her eyes narrowed as she looked towards me.
"My health is fine..." Was all she said before she turned and made her way towards her desk. With a sigh I turned and left the room not wanting to get into it with her.
Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty
Oh and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonigh
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
I stood beside Jenny who was beside Ducky talking. They became silent as soon as the ceremony began. I didn't focus on what was being said I looked around watching my team/family who were there all in black. A small smile across my face as I enjoyed their company. After the funeral we had all gathered at my place where we shared food and drinks talking with one another. I had looked around and noticed someone was missing, looking around more I realized four people were missing. Jackson, Jessica, Ducky and of course Jenny. I excused myself from the crowd as I made my way towards one of the rooms I walked past a spare room to the stairs when I stopped in my track. I heard Jenny talking it sounded like she was on the phone, I than heard Ducky as well, carefully I knocked on the bedroom door.
"Come in.." It was Jackson's voice who rang out. As I entered they all looked towards me, Jenny looked towards me than went back to speaking on the phone. As I walked in I realized what was going on Jessica was in labor. I quickly ran and helped as best I could. When the ambulance came I helped her out to it before going back to the rest of the group they all looked from the ambulance out front to me.
"Jessica is in labor.." I said looking towards them they all nodded and smiled.
"You're gonna be a grandpa Gibbs." Tony said as he walked over with Ziva "You should really go with them. We will clean up here and meet you up there." I nodded before turning and leaving with Jen.
We were sitting at the hospital in silence when the rest of our family walked in I smiled and greeted them. I than looked towards Jen who hadn't moved from her spot, she didn't look so good but I wasn't worried about that at the moment because just than Jackson came out smiling. We all stood looking towards him.
"Mom, dad, you've got a beautiful little granddaughter. " I smiled as I hugged him
"Congrats Jack.." I than looked towards Jen who was having trouble getting up so I helped her she went and hugged him. Going into the room where Jessica was we smiled as we looked towards her.
"So who do we have here Jessie?" Jen asked as she smiled.
"I'd like you all to meet Shannon Holly Gibbs." She said with a smile.
"She's named after our friend Shannon than we gave her mom's middle name and of course our last name." Jackson said with a smile. I saw Jen, Ducky, Tony, Ziva and Abby look towards me. We hadn't told the kids about my first wife and I planned to keep it that was so I just nodded. We soon left the new family home to rest as I took Jen home.
So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It doesn't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
It had been two weeks since Shannon was born, Jackson and Jessica spent a lot of time by us, they would stop by the office as well. There had been changes within everyone over the past few weeks. Ducky who use to visit often even though he was retired visited less and less, Jen had become distant and wouldn't talk to anyone. Tony and Ziva had been fighting about something and we still in the make up stage. The only ones who seemed to act normal were Abby and McGee. One day I had gone out in the field with Ziva, Tony and McGee, we had been out there for a few hours. When I came back Abby was sitting in McGee's desk.
"Abby? Everything alright?" She shakes her head "What's wrong"
"Jimmy had taken Jen home because something is wrong.. She's really pale Gibbs, she was barely registered what we said and she was mumbling to herself a lot. Oh and I can't forget how she swayed slightly when she walked."
"I'll go check on her Abs.." With that I was gone. I headed back to the house to find Naomi in the kitchen she turned around with a bowl of soup in her hands.
"Ah Señor Gibbs, welcome home. I sent Señora Gibbs to bed she didn't look to well. Here would you give this to her?" She asked handing me the soup I nodded as I took it. Carefully I made my way upstairs. Setting the soup down on the night stand I walked over and sat beside Jenny. I carefully reached over to touch her arm when I realized it was cold. I moved some of the covers aside to see her barely breathing, carefully I pulled out my phone calling an ambulance. I felt for a pulse finding a small one. Quickly I picked up Jenny and took off towards the door as I handed her to one of the paramedics and followed after them.
Once in the ambulance I decided I needed to call the rest of the team so I dialed Ziva's number.
"Gibbs is everything alright?"
"we're losing her!" One of the paramedics shouted as I moved out of his way.
"Ziva we are headed to the hospital I need you to gather everyone and meet me up there." With that I hung up and watched them.
Sitting at the hospital seemed like forever before the team finally arrived. Tony and Ziva walked in with Ducky and Lisa, behind them came Abby and McGee with Heather and Leroy, behind them Jackson and Jessica with little Shannon, Palmer and Breena came in with Victoria next and Paula and Anthony came in right before Kate did. They all looked towards me.
"Haven't heard anything yet..." I said as I put my head in my hands. Just than the doctor came out and looked towards us.
"I take it Mrs. Gibbs didn't tell any of you this.." He started but I cut him off.
"Tell us any of what?"
"Here cancer had indeed come back, except this time there was no was to get rid of it. She's had it for about a year now.. I'm surprised she didn't tell any of you. I'm sorry to say but we lost her on the way over here. We did everything we could but we were just too late i'm sorry.. " With that he turned and left, they all looked towards me, I didn't notice everyone starring as I put my head in my hands crying. One by one they hugged me we stood there in a large group hug for the longest time before I got up and excused myself.
The day before the funeral I sat going through our old photos, I smiled as I looked back at them. I had some from every undercover mission we went on, than our time in the US as a couple, I had some from our wedding day. After our wedding photos I had photos of everything. I had some from when Jen was pregnant with the twins, she hated when I took those. I had some from when the twins grew. I than had some from when she was pregnant with Paula, than some with Paula growing up. I had tons of pictures I had taken them back than because I didn't wanna forget out memories. One of my favorite photos was one from Paris, I had just gotten Jen a camera for her birthday, she had been laying in bed wrapped in a sheet and I insisted on taking a picture of her after much talking I finally did I had also taken some with the sheet off. Those were always my favorite memories to look back on.
Finally that day came, we were in a church wearing all black, I looked around at all the people there, she had touched so many lives some I hadn't even realized. As the ceremony started one by one my team went up there and talked.
Ducky: Jennifer was like a daughter to me. She had always come to me when she needed advice, I helped her through a lot just like she helped me through a lot. There was this one time me and her partner who is also her husband, we were both on the run from police she had taken a boat and got us both out of there safely, thanks to her we both aren't still stuck in jail in Europe. She was the best daughter I ever had even if she wasn't truly mine and I will always love her. May she live on in the spirits of the ones she loved, I truly am sorry she had to go before me but her life was spent well lived.
Tony: Jenny was a great person. I was told that I was the one who had taken her spot on the team after she left our boss in Paris. When she came back into his life we could clearly see something had happened between them. Me and the rest of the team had spent so long trying to get them together, when she 'died' after working as director for three years we had all grown to like her she was the mother of the group we were clearly devastated. But when she came back to us we were as happy as can be and she will forever be missed.
Ziva: Jenny had been my partner in Europe. Without her I wouldn't be here.. She helped me gain this opportunity in life and I'm glad for it. Without her I would have probably been one of the terrorist you guys would have been after. Jenny was a great friend and I am thankful for that. Like tony said she was the mother of the group she indeed was a mother to me. I will dearly miss her.
McGee: I didn't know Jenny as well as everyone else but just like them I did consider her like a mother to me. Without both her and Gibbs I wouldn't be here I probably would have been stuck in some dark basement working with computers, I almost was but thanks to Jenny I was saved from that and was able to keep my part on the team. We all miss you Jenny and wish you well.
Abby: Where do I start... Jenny was my role model, she was the one I looked up to everyday I told myself I was going to be like her some day. She wasn't only that she was also my motherly figure, she loved my hugs and I loved giving them to her, she'd always bring me gifts and she always knew how to cheer me up. I could cheer her up just as easily as well. She was one of the best things that happened in my life and I really really am going to miss her. We all love you Jenny.
Jimmy: I personally didn't know Jenny that well since I was stuck in autopsy all the time but i'll be honest she seemed like a great person. At first I wasn't so sure about her as director but as time went on I realized no one made a better director than she did. She will forever be missed but she will live on in all of us.
Kate: Jenny wasnot only a boss to me, she was like a mother, she was more than a mother she was a role model. Everyone looked up to her. At first when she came we were afraid she was the female version of Gibbs and we weren't sure if we wanted another one of him around. But as time went on we became close with her and realized she wasn't so bad. It had all surprised us that she ended up with our boss but looking back on it we should have realized there was a relationship between them. Abby was smart she figured it out with Tony but the rest we refused to believe because we were scared of what the two could do to us if we were wrong. Jenny was a great role model and her name will live on through generations.
Jackson: Jenny... She indeed was my mother. Growing up as her oldest, I was honored to call her my mom she was a great person. Some of you may not know this but I had a twin brother. His name was Jasper and was named after my grandfather just like I was. She loved us both equally. He looked so much like my mom and he was my best friend. When I lost him she was always there for me not giving up. Than she became pregnant with Paula and I was happy I'd get another sibling and this time I made it my task to protect this child and now with my own child I just wanna do the same thing she did and be a great parent. I miss you mom and will always love you.
Jessica: I didn't know Jenny real well till I met Jackson. She was so opening to me, she allowed me into this family. I was proud to call her my mother-in-law. Without her I probably wouldn't be where I am today. I was hoping my children would have the privilege to group up with such an amazing grandmother, she would have made such an impact on her life, while she was alive we all noticed the chance but did oohing about it. Instead we watched her slowly slip away, while she was here she had spoiled my daughter as if she were her own, I was thankful for that. The last thing I wanna say is thank you Jenny, thank you for everything and we'll miss you.
Paula: Jenny may have been my mother but she was also one of the closest friends I had. She helped me through everything growing up, I hadn't known about my brother Jasper till a few years ago and when my mom finally told me I was by her side supporting her. My dad was a lucky man to have her. I wish she would have been able to be here for my children especially the birth of my first one but hey things work in different ways. I love you mom and I hope you're with Jasper and your family right now smiling down on us. We really do miss you.
Anthony: Jenny was my second mother. With me being so close to Paula since birth we had gained a very close bond. Jenny had taken care of me when my parents couldn't she helped them both keep their jobs. Without her my mom would never had met my dad and I wouldn't be here right now. I owe my life to her and I just wanted to say thank you. You should be very proud of everything you've accomplished, you made history Jenny. The world will forever remember you.
Heather: Jenny was more than an aunt to me, she was my role model. When i'd asked my parents about her they continue to go on and on about her and it makes me smile. I was glad she was able to be part of my life, I'm sad that my brother Leroy won't get to grow up with her but that's a part of life and we all will learn that sooner or later. Thank you for everything you've down aunt Jenny. I miss you.
Lisa: I owe everything to Jenny. If it weren't for her my parents would have never adopted me and I wouldn't be here now. She helped me out of my horrible life and into a new family, the family of Ziva and Tony DiNozzo. Just like my mom she had given me a chance and I owe that too her. We will miss you aunt Jenny all of us.
Gibbs: Where do I start... The first day she walked into the squad room she reminded me of Shannon... I was hesitant about working with a female agent especially as my partner. As time went on she learned quickly, she was one of the best agents beside myself. She was called probie up until her third month with us. Decker and I quickly learned that she was no probie she was one of us guys, she'd do anything we'd ask without a second thought. My senior agent now I slap in the back of the head often and he till hadn't learn. I did that to her and after two months she almost flipped me and that's when I realized I knew better than to slap her. Decker had been transferred to LA and we trained Paula Cassidy together. We headed off to Paris leaving Cassidy behind. Our time in Paris was amazing best year of my life. When she left it tore me apart. Before we had left for Paris I told her the truth I was hiding from everyone. Some of you still don't know it and now i'll tell you. My first wife's name is Shannon together we had a little girl named Kelly. I had lost them both when Kelly was eight that was the reason I joined NIS well that's what it was called at the time. After I took over from my boss Decker become my senior agent and Jenny was brought onto the team. When I lost her I lost myself. She than came back to me and I was never more happier in my life. When I almost lost her again I knew this time I had to protect her no matter what. We got married and started a family together and I could never have been happier. I know now that if it weren't for her none of you would be here. If Jen hadn't taken Morrow's spot the new director was planning to spilt my team up... I realize now standing here it's time I do this.. Do it for Jen. I'm going to retire and help my kids with their family. Tony will take my place as leader, McGee and Ziva will move up in rank. Also i'm proud to introduce you guys to your new probie who is also my son Jackson. I read you application and you've been accepted. Paula I'm happy to announce after you have the baby, your application as director has been accepted and Anthony you also gained a spot on this team. You all know where to find me but just remember I did this for Jenny. Her name was Jennifer Holly Shepard, she lost her mom and sister at age 8, she lost her dad at 15. She was always shy but she was a damn good agent. She was also a great mother, wife, partner and friend. I love you Jen and I always will...
With that I stepped down and made my way over to the coffin, I had handmade it carefully I ran my head over the edge I gently picked up Jen's hand and kissed it.
"Goodbye my love.." I said before turning tears streamed down my face as I left. More and more people had gone up and told their stories of how Jen had helped them, they had done it on their own no one was told to but yet they did. Each person who she had helped had said something. I didn't stick around to see I was gone tears stained my cheek as I went home I made my way up to the empty bedroom as I looked around. It had been how we left it and that's how it would stay. Jen may have been gone but her memory lived on forever.
In the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here