The Spicer Monologues

By: CrystallicSky

Disclaimer: I don't own Xiaolin Showdown or any of its characters, nor do I make any money off the writing of this.

Warnings: Language, sexual situations/implication, etc.

Notes: THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT- this story is part of a collab with Silvarbelle, in which she wrote as Chase Young and I wrote as Jack Spicer for an entire year of 'diary' entries. This project is already entirely finished on both of our ends. However, both on my deviantART account and my Fanfiction account, I am only posting this half of the story to roughly the midway point. This is because, for various reasons, Silvarbelle and I have decided to showcase the Diary Project exclusively on LiveJournal, at least in its completely finished form. See the A/N for more information.

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1/26/09-

Okay, now it's Chinese New Year; fuck if I care, it's been the new year for me since about, oh, twenty-six days earlier.

It's the Year of the Ox, I think…no, yeah, definitely the Year of the Ox, because last year was the Rat.

Speaking of rats, Finnian loved the hell out of his bath. I was almost positive it'd be a fight getting him to get into the bathroom sink, but instead, it ended up being a fight to get him out of the bathroom sink.

Who would've thought he'd like the bubbles so damn much?

But I've got a really incurable tendency of going off-topic, apparently. I've been figuring a lot of things out about myself by keeping this journal; that's good, because I think now that I'm realizing what's wrong with me and the way I do things, I can get past it and fix my issues.

I say again: fuck therapy.

Back to Chinese New Year, though; Year of the Ox and all that.

I wasn't all that big on zodiac stuff before I moved here, but I've been getting more and more into it over the past nine or ten years: it's pretty neat, actually.

I'm a Rooster (Year of the Cock), and…

I just had to stop to tell Fin to shut the hell up; he gave me a look just because I laughed and said 'cock' out loud. I can't help it: it's funny! Especially when one considers that I was born under that animal and I ended up gay.

Well, I think it's funny, at least…

Anywho, back to what I was going to say: I'm almost positive Chase is an Ox. I never said anything to him about it, though, because I can't be completely positive. That's to be expected, though; I mean, it's not like I know exactly when he was born or anything (only that his birthday was somewhere some odd 1,500 years before now), but he fits that personality profile best and I'm just sort of hoping my guess is right.

Maybe because the Ox and Rooster are compatible zodiacs.

Gah, I'm way too desperate. Okay, stopping with Chase…NOW.

So, back to Finnian, when I ran those diagnostics on him a couple of days ago, I figured out he's a year old, meaning…

He was born in the Year of the Rat! That's almost as funny to me as Year of the 'Cock'; almost, but not quite. It's more weird that his zodiac matches his species than anything, I guess, but it's still a neat coincidence.

So…what happened today again?

Oh, yeah; duh! New Wu today. How'd I forget that one?

It's another pretty useless one; I don't even know the name of it, but it's a necklace that shoots really tiny fireworks and that's all it does.

Why do I get the feeling Dashi made this one as a celebratory thing just to eff with us and make us think that if we got in a Showdown over it that it was actually useful? Like a New Year's prank or something?

I don't know, it doesn't really matter, I guess.

Nothing really happened with it, though. I ended up getting there first (and by the way, fuck the arctic tundra right up the ass, the frigid bitch) and grabbed the thing. I didn't even have to really look for it, but then again, it's hard to miss a string of red and gold beads with a really gaudy, elaborate pendant on it sitting right on top of a snowdrift.

Like I said, nothing happened because by the time I left, I only just saw the monks as a speck on the horizon; needless to say I didn't wait around for them and high-tailed it out of there.

I think I've waited for them before once I had the Wu and could have conceivably escaped with it. I don't remember it turning out well…or I don't really remember it at all. It was probably that time the very last bot standing after the losers got through with the lot of them had to drag me home because I couldn't fly on my own on account of the concussion.

If that was a fun day, I sure as hell can't remember it.

I was pretty sure the monks would've figured out that I had it eventually and try to get it back, so I prepared some security defenses and such to keep them from even getting in, which worked just fine. They didn't even break my wall this time!

Oddly enough, they didn't even try to bust in until four or five hours after the fact, so I'm going to go out on a limb and say they stopped by Chase first to see if he took it.

Dumb move by the looks of them from the window when they showed up. I'm willing to bet he pointed them in the right direction after kicking a couple manners into them about breaking into people's houses and accusing them of stealing shit without anything that remotely passes as proof.

Fuck, I wish I'd seen that; Chase is always hot as hell when he's fighting.

Aaannnddd I'm talking about him again, aren't I? Well, shit, then.

There's not much else to say. I've been messing with this Wu for a while, because the mini-fireworks are cool to watch. Finnian was very against them at first, but once he realized they were harmless and too teeny to really do any damage to anything, he warmed up to them.

I think this entry is just about at a close, anyways, so…yeah.

...

A/N: Continuing on from the above notes, this story will only be available in its entirety on LiveJournal. The Spicer Monologues (this half) can be found at tech(UNDERSCORE)lord dot livejournal dot com. Chase Young's Diary (the counterpart to this half) can be found at dragon(UNDERSCORE)lordcy dot livejournal dot com. In order to be able to read, you must have or make a LiveJournal account, which is completely free to do, and friend both journals so that I may friend you back. This was a safety filter meant to keep it so that only people who want to read (AKA, those who won't flame or report the story because they don't like it) can read. After you friend the journals and are friended back, all of the entries from both Jack and Chase's diaries will be available to you.

Other than that, I have nothing to say but I hope you enjoyed the story! :D