Author's Note posted below.

Chapter 26

Crazy

A week after my mother's funeral, things have gone back to the usual. We went back to New Jersey where I continue working while I go home and nobody's there. Christian's acting very distant as I have expected from him. After my eulogy, Christian resumed to being the businessman he is. But unlike before, he's not cold. He appears to be thinking so deeply. I don't know what he's thinking about and I am too tired to know.

If he doesn't want me then let it be. I think I deserve someone to fight for me the same way I would fight for him. As hard as it may seem, but I have come to a decision.

In terms of work, everyone has been sweet including Big Boss. When Mom was still in the hospital, the news company delivered flowers and being very humble, Mom appreciates the thoughtful gesture very much. What I'm doing now is I'm doubling my work for the two weeks that I have been absent. I am blessed enough that my articles are getting recognitions. Some of them even laugh at how "savage" my comments are, leaving no remorse for the filmmakers.

I am writing the latest movie review when someone knocks on my door. It's the delivery guy with my parcel. I stand to sign for it and as soon as he hands it over, I have never felt paper weigh so many pounds in my hands.

I let out a deep sigh before opening the brown envelope and slip the paper out of its mouth. I read the letters and they sure scream that me and Christian will be separated forever as soon as this is signed.

Well, that's it. This is how the marriage ends. Love is a game and the first one to fall is the loser. In that case, I have played that part. He has won since he doesn't feel any ounce of hurt for me. He sees me more as a weapon who can hurt him and that's not my fault at all. What happens to me after the divorce? I'll be doing better in writing my response to movies. I am actually thinking of taking up arts journalism for college. I'll be going back in honor of my newly discovered dreams.

"Yo Ana!" Jose enters my office room without even knocking.

"Hello Jose," I say too formally.

There's a huge smile when he says, "I have an announcement for you!"

"What's that?"

He shows me what's in his hands which he has been hiding behind his back all this time. It's a kitten and it's surprisingly cute. She's orange and she appears to be trembling. I close the door and instantly scold Jose.

"Jose, you know that animals are not allowed in the office. Big Boss is going to freak out when he sees that cat!"

He looks like I've hurt him. He covers the cat's ears as he says, "Don't ever tell him that he's unwanted! Cats have feelings too, you know."

I roll my eyes at that. I question, "Where did you get it?"

"Remember this game I watched this morning for my article? This kitten happens to be right there in the middle of the baseball court and I actually ran in the middle so the ball won't hit her. She's very beautiful, Ana, so I decided that I am going to take her here."

"You found her in a baseball game?" That's unusual.

"Yes, and she's out of my league! See what I did there?"

I give him a little smile at that. Jose just happens to be a very positive person and it's so nice to have someone like him the office. His jokes aren't really that funny but it's with his delivery. He makes sure that he puts that funny face on. The kitten then starts to meow and it's almost like she wants me to hold her. I extend my hands for her and there she is in my hands . . . and there goes the divorce papers on the ground.

"Jose, don't—" It's too late. He has already picked it up.

"Whoa! Is this your new article and what -" He stops in the middle of his sentence as he reads the content. This is the Jose I've never encountered before. Serious, that's what he is right now. Jose's brows are knitted together and I can sense that he really doesn't like it.

"What is going on, Anastasia?"

I close my eyes and ask him, "Let's go out?"

_oOo_

We are sitting outside the office's porch. The cat's sleeping on Jose's lap as he strokes its orange fur. I sit right next to him practically having that feeling that I am about to be interrogated.

"I don't mean to pry, Ana but why?"

I shake my head and say, "You wouldn't understand." There's no way in hell that I am going to tell him that this whole marriage is fraudulent. It's an arrangement and I'm sure Jose will think differently of me as soon as he knows. Christian called me a gold digger, right? I cannot seem to get past that. Maybe he's right. I was a gold digger.

"Yeah but you guys seem so in love. The two of you are like hashtag relationship goals."

"What makes you even say that?"

"For a start, he looks at you like he's very much in love. Then, he almost beat the shit out of me when he got so jealous. Also, he just loves you. Simple as that. This whole divorce thing is making me feel tragic. I swear that if the two of you break up then I will cease to believe in love."

I can't help but snort, "Jose, come on, you won't believe in love after we break up? Don't you think that's too extreme? Aren't you my friend? You are supposed to support me!"

"What do you want me to say? Do you want me to say 'Yo Ana, go ahead and divorce Christian because you are going to be very happy'? No, Ana, there's no way I am going to say that to you."

"Why?"

He answers ordinarily, "Because that won't make you happy."

I shake my head and say, "This is unbelievable! Jose, I am the new Ana, okay? Old Ana is very shallow and materialistic while New Ana is unworldly and deep."

Jose proves to be smarter than he acts when tells me, "Hypothetically speaking, maybe Old Ana loved Christian for being Rich Christian. This New Ana? She loves Christian for being who he is. Ana, my friend and also my future sister-in-law, I just want you to be happy and I don't think being away from Christian is going to make that."

I let a tear escape from my eyes. "You surprise me, Jose, do you know that?"

"Of course, I know that. There is nothing Jose Rodriguez can't do," he says all too cockily.

I tease and laugh out loud, "Future sister-in-law, huh? You're gonna marry Elliott?"

"I am not gay, Ana. No offense to gay people because there's nothing wrong with being gay but I am not gay. I am actually going to marry Elizabeth!"

That makes me laugh louder, "Jose, Elizabeth's still in high school, okay? How old are you? You're twenty two? You're going to have to wait." I don't tell him that he's not Elizabeth's type.

"Why do you have that look?"

"What look?"

"You're thinking that it won't happen, huh? Give me some advice please. Tell me how to win Elizabeth's heart."

I simply tell him, "Be a member of One Direction."

His lips form a thin line and it's pretty obvious that he's growing impatient with me. He just lets it go and says, "I am Jose and I can do anything and I will wait for your sister."

"Yeah, whatever," It's pretty crazy how much he likes her.

"So uhm . . . you're really going to push this divorce through?"

Just like that we are back to our original topic. "Jose, I will. I am going to divorce Christian."

"That makes me sad, you know. I was raised by a single father because Mom divorced him. He cannot afford those clothes Mom wanted. She went off with an old dude and I haven't heard from her since. Well, Dad became a successful basketball coach and he always told me that no matter how hard the game is, you have to play it well. I smile all the time because that's how you should deal with life. You have to make it your own and do it happily.

It's different from your story, of course, but divorce just makes me sad."

I bump his shoulders with mine and say, "Getting emotional, huh?"

"Let's go back inside?"

"Great idea," I say.

_oOo_

After eating with Jaclyn and Leila, I went back to Sofia and she's playing with the piano now. She plays really well especially in her state. Talent can never be taken away so that's why I linger longer. The song she plays is very beautiful and I could tell that it's so familiar. I am not a fan of vintage music so I cannot point it.

Except for the attending nurse, we're the only ones in this room. I don't know what this room is called but I guess that this is mostly for leisure. Looking at the nurse's face, I can tell that she's touched by the music too.

"Nurse, what's the name of the song?" It would be pointless to ask Sofia because she never talks. She acts as if I am invisible.

"What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong," she says with such reverence.

Then, I remember why it's familiar. These are one of the songs Mia would sing! I almost jump up and down like a child who has figured how to put the puzzle pieces together. Right next to the piano, Sofia presses her fingers tenderly and I cannot help but sing the lyrics.

I see trees of green, red roses too.

I see them bloom for me and you.

And I think to myself,

"What a wonderful world!"

That gets Sofia attention. She recognizes my presence for the very first time and that got me so excited. I continue singing the tender song even though my voice box is not that pretty. Sofia even gives me a smile and I return it.

As I sing the lyrics of the song, I realize how beautiful the world is even without the brand new phones and shining cars and big houses. I think of my family and I think of my husband.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky

Are also on the faces of people going by

I see friends shaking hands saying, "how do you do?"

They're really saying, "I love you."

As soon as the song finishes, Sofia claps her hands so fast like a kid in a birthday party. I give her a pat on the shoulder for being a great pianist. I tell her, "That's for my family, Sofia. And that's for Christian too."

Her eyes go wide and my heart starts banging out of my chest. Oh no, I shouldn't have done that! She shouldn't hear Christian's name! I brace myself for her to act like a tornado in this room but she proves me wrong in the very best way.

"Christian? That boy?"

"Yes? I am sorry for mention—"

"Good heart," she mumbles and that just melts me. "Good heart," she tells me again.

I am speechless. I am about to reply but reality bites.

Sofia scowls, "You're sitting on Jack!"

Oh! I immediately stand and say, "Sorry Jack" to the thin air.

She resumes playing the piano.

_oOo_

This is it. This is the moment when I finally leave this marriage. It breaks my heart but I just need to do this one. I deserve so much more than Christian can give. I already informed him that I'll be waiting in our living room so he has to go home.

As soon as he enters the door, my heart roars. Seeing him makes me want to run to him and hug him and make love to him all night. I really love him but there's no hope for us.

My eyes spot the white paper he's holding and I can only see the back of it. As soon as he flips it, then it would be divorce papers too. I cannot help but laugh at how messy the two of us are. So we get married and say, "Let's go ahead and divorce because it's game over".

"Ana," he says my name softly as soon as he's standing for me.

"Christian."

"I need to tell you something."

"Me too and can I please go first?"

He nods and that's when I realize that it's becoming so real.

"I love you, Christian. I am sure that you're aware of that but I cannot spend the rest of my life letting you ignore that fact. I lost, Christian. I told myself that I won't feel anything for you but here I am feeling so weak and vulnerable because you have all of me. You will always have all of me. I know that deep inside you feel the same way but what can we do, huh? You don't want what you feel and I cannot do anything about that."

He looks hard as a statue now and that pisses me off even more. He's standing tall and beautiful with his black Armani suit and he looks perfectly fine. I want to scream at him and yell that he would regret this and he would want me back. I want to tell him that he can stop me and I will change my mind.

That will never happen.

I hand the divorce papers and he reads it meticulously before grabbing a fountain pen from his pocket. Just like that, he scribbles his signature and I have never felt so small. He would let me go that easily. I cannot believe it. Tears keep on coming and no matter how many times I wipe them away, they just keep on coming.

He throws the paper to the side and this time he becomes very emotional. His voice cracks, "May I speak now?"

I slowly nod.

"Anastasia, you are not a gold digger. You are not shallow. You are so much more than that. I was an asshole and that wasn't so kind of me. I am really sorry. You are not that. If you are a gold digger then you would've made your advancements to rich guys even before I met you again but that's not it, Ana. You've shown me the epitome of hard work. You chase your dreams and you kept pushing forward no matter how difficult life could get. You're headstrong and I admire you for that."

Then he gives me the paper that he's been holding and I don't see any point now. I mean he signed it already? Why would he want another set of divorce papers? Or maybe it's about the riches something?

I take it and when I turn to look at the content, my jaw hits the floor along with the paper. Christian bends to get it and put it back to my hands. It's a sketch of me in a beach and the wind's blowing my hair so wildly but I look so pretty.

He gives me a small smile when he admits, "Ana, you've had me the moment I opened the door for you. I told myself that it's not possible because you're my sister's friend and I couldn't be able to feel because of all the sins of my past. I deprive my attention but everything keeps on coming back to you. That was the first summer you spent with us. We went to the beach and all I can ever do is keep my eyes on you. You are so beautiful. It's not just with your face but it's with your strength. Yes, you weren't perfect and there was the jealousy with Mia but you just put me in awe, Ana. Nine years, Ana, nine years since Jack died and I have lost everything I ever wanted because I lived his dream.

You, beautiful girl, just brought out the artist in me that has been hiding for nine months."

No, he's making me expect again. He just divorced me, for heaven's sake and now this is happening?

"Christian, don't do this. We just got divorced and it's going to be finalized and—"

This time he pulls me close and wraps his arms around my torso. His grey eyes glimmer and his lips stretch in the biggest smile that he ever gave me. I hate to be hopeful but he looks like . . . he's almost free.

"We're divorced because we're starting over. This time it's going to be real. If you allow it, Ana. Please date me."

This is . . . CRAZY! It really is.

"Christian, if you want us to start over then let's stay married and—"

"Ana, that Christian you married, that's not what you deserve. The Christian right now wants to be a better man for you and he'll start with his first steps. Okay, I will stop speaking in third person now, and seriously, Ana, I want to be the best man for you. I want to give you my all. What I mean by all is not like before. My all is not those private jets and mansions and gardens and travels but my all that I can give you is my trust, my respect, and most of all, my love."

It's like the whole world starts now.

He finally says it.

"I love you, Ana. Please date me."

I cannot think of anything right now.

I just can't! My mind is all over the place.

First, we're friends that kiss that got married.

Then, we're married friends who sleep together.

And we're about to be . . . divorced couple who starts to date again but this time it's real?

"Ana?" He asks almost too anxiously.

I give him my answer by giving him my kiss.

This man just takes me to a crazy ride and this new chapter? I don't know what it will bring but I hope that he'll never let go of me.

Author's Note: Yes, it is really crazy.

What's crazier is you guys! You just make my day with your responses. Thank you for reading my story. Your reactions are very overwhelming.

I cannot thank you enough.

What do you think?

Margo.