"Concentrate, Granger," Snape instructed.
"I'm trying," he told him.
"I want you to think about what you had for breakfast this morning," he said. "Now, I'm going to try to find that information, you should push me out. You're looking for the feeling of the intrusion not the intrusion itself."
Alexander nodded. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate but for just a moment he was thoughtful. Instead of focusing on his breakfast, he pulled up another memory. It occurred to him that there were things he didn't want anyone to know he'd seen and was worried those could be reached by an outsider. As he drew that memory forward to examine it for a brief moment, he was unaware of the push into his subconscious. He wanted to bury the memory but it was too late, Snape had seen it.
"That wasn't your breakfast," Snape said seriously.
"No, it wasn't. You weren't supposed to see that," he told him.
"Does your mother know?"
"No, sir. I'd prefer it stay that way," he said ashamedly.
"I see," Snape said, "I will not speak further of it."
Alexander nodded.
"Now, Narcissa will be here soon. Have you been doing the exercises she left for you?"
"Yes, sir. I'm doing them twice a day like she asked me to," he reported.
"Very good. Professor Binns should be here soon to supervise your lesson," he told him.
"Professor," he inquired, "why are my lessons with Mrs. Malfoy supervised?"
"Your mother feels it best," he told him.
"Why?" he inquired.
"As you know, there isn't good history between the Malfoy family and your mother. She is being cautious," he tried to explain. It wasn't the time to discuss her torture during the war or his prior relationship with Narcissa and for the time being, Alexander accepted the rationale.
Binns' tardiness was irritating for Severus. He had expected him to arrive fifteen minutes prior to Narcissa's arrival. As he heard footsteps in the corridor, he knew the light but solid steps belonged to Narcissa, not to Binns. There was a moment when he didn't know what to do – either he left them and broke his word to Hermione about not leaving them alone or he didn't and he broke his word to Hermione about seeing Narcissa again. She rounded the corner and entered the classroom, shocked to see Snape standing there.
"Severus," she said, "I didn't expect to see you."
"I didn't expect to be here," he responded.
There was an awkward silence between the two of them, each flipping through memories, Severus focusing on his promises to Hermione, thinking about how different those two women were. One so cold and distant but strong; the other kind and warm, welcoming and powerful. There was no doubt that he was in love with Hermione. The tryst with Narcissa a faded memory, one he had no interest in bringing to the fore.
"Um, Professor," Alexander said.
"Yes, Mr. Granger," Snape responded, pulled from his own thoughts.
"I guess I'm ready if Mrs. Malfoy is," he told her.
"Right," Severus said, moving to the other end of the classroom, "I'll observe from here."
"You can sit closer, if you like Severus," the blonde witch cooed playfully.
"No, I'm fine here. Please begin," he told her distantly.
When Alexander's lesson ended, Severus rose to leave the classroom.
"Severus," she began. "How are you?"
"Well, Narcissa. You?" he inquired politely.
"Well, also," she responded. "It's been a long time."
"Indeed it has. Now, I must go, I have lessons to prepare." And with that, he left the blonde witch in the classroom, curious about his abrupt and cold departure.
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The encounter with Narcissa troubled Severus. He felt a familiarity with her that intimacy tends to bring but not the intimacy, trust or respect he had for Hermione. It occurred to him that what was troubling him was not Narcissa but that he was really, truly in love with Hermione – that every waking moment of his life was consumed by a desire to see her happy and that her happiness in turn made him happy. It was uncomfortable for him yet he realized that there was a whole part of himself that he had discovered, that he had discovered with her and that he wanted that to last for the rest of his life. There was nothing else in his life as pure and wonderful as being in her presence.
He struggled to determine whether to tell her of the encounter in the classroom but ultimately decided it best she hear it from him rather than Alexander. In the end, he was surprised at her calm acceptance of the encounter. She reasoned with him and agreed that in the end, she would rather see Alexander safe than herself. Snape couldn't convince her that she should have both.
The weeks turned to months and their relationship grew in its intensity. Their routine remained unchanged – his late night return and his early morning departure from her quarters. It was a tiring endeavor, the secrecy, but for the time being, it seemed best.
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The spring sun made its appearance dramatically, unusually early but welcomed. There was sure to be more winter upon them but for the time being, it was nice to see the sun. Warmth through the windows and the dewy grass instead of the frost lifted everyone's spirits. Hermione felt such normalcy in her life that she was calm and sated for the first time in a very long while. Alexander was excelling once again in his classes, his handle on his occlumency and other training was moving along. Even Emiline seemed to find solace in the routine in her life.
One Sunday afternoon, Severus sat on Hermione's settee, reading a book with Hermione's feet propped in his lap. He heard the click of the door and in rushed Alexander.
"Mum!" he yelled. "You have to see this!"
He glanced quickly at Snape sitting on the sofa but dismissed the sight in normalcy.
"What is it, Zander?" she asked him.
He thrust the paper in her hands. She read through the parchment and smiled.
"Three weeks in Johannesburg, an advanced potions camp over the summer. Please, Mum, please can I go?" he asked her.
She was nervous. "Three weeks is a long time Zander. And Johannesburg, that's so far away."
"Albus is going," he offered meekly.
"For Potions?" she asked surprised.
Severus laughed, "hardly. I would imagine for Charms."
Alexander nodded.
"I don't know," she struggled.
"He won't be invited a third time, Hermione," Snape told her.
"This is only the first invitation," she told him.
Severus looked at Alexander who bent his head down.
"Alexander?" she asked. "This is the first time you've been invited isn't it?"
He shook his head.
"Why didn't you tell me before?" she quizzed.
He shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't want to leave you…home…for that long. I was afraid-"
She pulled him into a hug.
"Then you will go. It is a tremendous honor," she smiled at him
He beamed back at her. "Thanks, Mum. I'm going to tell Albus and Uncle Harry!"
She laughed as he quickly bounded out of the room then looked at Severus.
"How did you know that was his second invitation?" she asked him.
"Who do you think recommended him?" he responded seriously.
Hermione smiled at him and sat back on the sofa, her feet back comfortably in his lap and resumed her reading.
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That evening at dinner, Hermione put a letter on the table. "Well, it seems that since Albus and Alexander are going to Johannesburg for this camp, Ginny and Harry have decided to take a holiday in South Africa as well. They've invited Emiline along for a safari and such."
"Then that leaves you no reason why you can't take your holiday with me in Cavala," he said nonchalantly.
"Cavala?" she asked quizzically.
"Small island off the coast of France, magical and untraceable for Muggles," he informed her.
Hermione wasn't sure what to say to him and he could see the internal struggle.
"You say 'I would love to go'" he tried to coach gently.
She smiled at him. "It seems like such a big step, I guess. Taking a holiday together."
"Well, given that we spend nearly every minute together now, this just makes it easier. And it will save me from flooing so much. I have soot in everything I own," he teased.
She laughed at his light joke. "Alright, then. I'll go. Perhaps I could persuade the Potters to join us after their holiday for a few days. It might be nice to spend some time together," she mused.
"I wouldn't consider spending several days on an island with Potter 'nice' but if that's what you'd like, then certainly," he told her. Hermione knew he didn't dislike Harry as much as he said but there were some habits too hard to break.
"It's settled then. I'll owl Ginny straight away," she said happily.
As she set off to find parchment and ink, Severus watched her retreating form, finding himself still enchanted by her every move.
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Emiline sat very patiently at the kitchen table and Hermione was trying very hard not to laugh. A familiar knock was heard at the door and then Severus entered.
"We're in here," Hermione called.
Severus came in and sat down across the table.
"Ms. Granger, I received your owl," he told Emiline.
Emiline nodded, "I'm glad you came. Is important."
Severus was much better at keeping a straight face than Hermione who was struggling to keep herself together. Years playing double spy certainly gave him an advantage.
"Then, madam, I am all ears," he told her.
"Well," she started, folding her hands together on the table, "my birfday is comin' up and I want you to come to my party."
"I see," he said seriously, "and when is this party. I'll have to check my diary you know."
"Mmhmm," she said, "Saturday. At Granma's house. We have cake."
"Saturday, Saturday," he teased, stroking his chin as if to think, "I think…no, wait, yes. I'm free on Saturday. I do believe I can make it."
"Oh good!" she squealed. "I jus' knew it." She hopped down and ran over to him. He scooped her onto his lap and she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek. She placed her head on his shoulder. "Mummy will tell you what time."
"And what would you like for your birthday?" he asked her.
She looked at him confused.
"Well, isn't it customary that the birthday girl or boy receive gifts at their party?"
"Oh," she said, "Eat cake with me. Tha's all." She slid easily off his lap and went into her room.
"She's a funny little thing, isn't she?" he asked smiling.
"Yes," Hermione agreed, "I think she may have misunderstood about invitations."
"What should I bring her?" he asked.
"I think she really just wants you to be there," she told him.
"Well, I suppose I can come up with something," he mused.
"You're a good man, Severus Snape," she smiled at him.
"Only because I have a wonderful woman," he returned, causing her to blush furiously.
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Truthfully, Snape was nervous about the party. It would be the first time he would appear with Hermione in front of all of the Weasleys and though Ginny had reassured Hermione that Molly didn't see him as a perverted old man trying to take advantage of her, he wasn't so convinced. Of all the Weasleys, she was the one he was afraid of. Women were funny like that.
Hermione tried to convince him to come with them to the Burrow but he insisted on arriving separately. He was anxious enough and felt that arriving with them would make it even more awkward. Somehow he had convinced himself that if he just showed up as a guest it would be easier.
He arrived at the Burrow and could hear laughter and chatting inside. He rang the bell, and a young red-haired girl opened the door.
"Hello," she smiled.
He looked down at her, recognizing Lily Potter, looking so much like Lily Evans.
"Good afternoon," he returned "May I come in?"
"I dunno. I have to ask my Daddy," she told him and then closed the door in his face.
Severus smiled as he waited patiently for the door to reopen. Ginny opened the door with Lily in her arms.
"Sorry about that, Professor," she apologized.
"No need. Very thoughtful to ask your father, Ms. Potter," he told the small redhead.
The scene before him was a bit of sensory overload. There were children and balloons strewn about in a chaos that made him anxious. He thought quickly about excusing himself but heard an excited voice call for him.
"'Fessor Snay!" the voice rang out and the small girl rushed across the room to him. Instinctively, he bent down and scooped her up. "You're here."
"Of course," he told her, kissing her head before putting her down. The din in the room quieted slightly at the sight. The little girl took his hand and guided him into the party. Slowly the conversation returned to normal and he was guided to sit next to Hermione.
"Here," Emiline told him, "you stay with Mummy. I'll get you some cake."
"Welcome," Hermione whispered, leaning in to him.
"Thank you, it's… a lot," he admitted.
"You'll get used to it," she smiled, "I hope."
The little girl returned to the room, slowly balancing a piece of cake on a plate, guided by Molly Weasley.
"Here, 'Fessor Snay," she told him proudly. "My Granma make the best cakes in the world," she told him seriously.
"I have no doubt of that," he said, accepting the plate. He looked up at Molly who watched him seriously, without a trace of a smile. If that was Ginny's idea of not bothered, he'd hate to see her upset with him.
"I save my cake too so we can eat together," she told him. "I may have licked the icing though," she admitted, "but just a lil bit."
He laughed. "Well, now we can have our cake."
She nodded and climbed up to sit in his lap, the two of them talking and eating their cake together. Hermione watched them as she sipped her tea. Her daughter was so happy. Even Alexander had stopped for a few minutes to watch the interaction. Satisfied at the scene, he returned to his game with his cousins.
When people began to clear out, Severus stood to take the plates to the kitchen and found himself suddenly alone with Molly Weasley.
"Sit," she ordered, pointing at a chair at the kitchen table.
He sat quickly where she pointed. Even Voldemort couldn't make him obey as quickly as he did under Molly's instruction.
She sat across from him and looked at him hard.
"I promised Ginny that I wouldn't hex you, for Hermione's sake," she told him.
He sat quietly in front of her, a little nervous to reply.
"I have watched her grow up and I stood by as… as my son… I stood by when I knew there was something wrong. I will not make that mistake again. She is as much my daughter as Ginny is and I will never see her hurt again. I will not see my grandchildren hurt. Is that clear?"
He didn't have a chance to respond. "I admit that I was skeptical about all of this but Ginny and Harry have assured me that you have been noble and kind to her. I haven't seen Hermione this happy, this content in…well…ever. Can you sit here and swear to me that you are going to take care of her, take care of my grandchildren, to love her? To be faithful?"
Finally it was his turn to speak. "Molly, I understand your reservation. The truth is, I hadn't expected any of this myself, it just happened. I do love her, very much and I have vowed to keep her safe and make her happy. I will take care of Alexander and Emiline, protect them as if they were my own. I'll never give Hermione or you cause to worry about my fidelity or her safety. I would take a wizard's oath to prove it to you."
She sat back. "I don't think that's necessary. Families don't need oaths. And if you are going to continue to be a part of Hermione's life, of Alexander and Emiline's lives then you are family. You will be held to a very high standard of behavior."
He nodded.
"Don't think that if I hear one murmur that you've made her unhappy in any way, ANY way, that I will not hex you into next week. I hope you understand," she said sternly.
"I understand. I promise you have no reason to worry," he tried to reassure her.
She reached over and patted his hand and threw him her signature smile. "Good then." She rose quickly and began to bustle around the kitchen.
He was sure then that he was more scared of Molly Weasley than any Death Eater he ever faced.
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When they returned to the castle, Emiline was starting to fade from the excitement.
"Emiline," he began, "do you think you have the energy for a present?"
"A present for me?" she asked with wide eyes.
"Yes, a birthday present," he told her.
"But you already come to my party and eat cake with me," she explained.
"I did. But I wanted to get you something else. It's not every day that you turn four," he reasoned.
She nodded at his explanation.
"Good. Wait here then and close your eyes," he told her.
Hermione looked at Alexander and they both shrugged. His gift to Emiline had been a well-kept secret.
He came in with a box with a lid barely covering the top. He placed it on her lap and she opened her eyes.
"Very pretty," she told him, taking the lid off. When she looked inside, her eyes grew wide as saucers. "'Fessor Snay!" she exclaimed, pulling a small calico kitten out of the box.
Hermione looked at Severus with a look that said 'really? A kitten?' He smiled and ignored her.
"She needed a home, someone to love her and take care of her. I thought you might be able to help her out," he explained.
"Oh yes," she said, gently stroking the kitten, its small back raising up to meet her hand with each stroke.
"What will you call it Emmy?" Alexander asked.
"'Fessor Snay!" she smiled.
They all laughed.
"Don't you think that would be confusing?" Alexander asked her. "Besides, your kitty is a girl kitty and Professor Snape is a boy," he reasoned.
"Oh," she said pensively, "Maybe I call her Potion."
"That is a fine name," Hermione told her. "Now, take Potion to your room and show her where everything is."
She delicately carried her kitten over to Snape and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "You are the bes' friend ever," she told him seriously.
"Speaking of potions," Alexander said, "I have a rather lengthy essay to complete. I think I'll leave now."
"Enjoy the rest of your weekend, Zander," Hermione said, hugging him.
"I love you Mum," he told her.
"I love you too," she returned.
He looked at Snape for a minute. "Professor Snape…thank you."
Snape nodded at him as he made his leave.
"A kitten?" Hermione asked with a half smile.
He shrugged.
"It would have served you right if she had named that kitten Fessor Snay," she teased.
"I thought there for a minute she was going to," he admitted.
They both laughed and he pulled her into his chest, sitting on the sofa together and watching the sun start to set outside.