SOOOO... I am sorry. I AM BOWING RIGHT NOW WITH FUNERAL CLOTHES IN FRONT OF YOU GUYS. I know I promised more regular chapters, but lack of inspiration and midterms got in the way. So, here's what I'll do. I'll try to do it once a month, but I make no promises. Frankly, the creativity juices are running out and this story is running a little longer than I originally intended. So, EXTRA LONG CHAPTER. ENJOY!

That night, I did cook, but considering the idea that we were going to travel the next day, I left it for the journey. You'd think I'd just eat at home, but it was a rarity for Katashi to let me pay for meals. It's a rarity in any generation since men insist on footing the bills. It was a nice change in pacing and frankly, after doing all of those side activities, a dinner could be afforded easily. Besides, traveling with an empty stomach is never going to be a pleasant thought and home cooking is always preferable on a journey.

"So what prompted you to actually let me do this? I am curious to know why you would willingly allow this?" I would think the opposite every single time since the idea of a woman paying for a man's dinner? Almost breaks every single law in any religious or societal ideals. Men are above and women are below, at least in terms of ranking. Anyone could say that, but I could say I felt more victorious than even that of a general after a victorious battle where the enemies burned underneath their feet.

"Being flexible with one's ideals is an important skill. There may be even more bizarre aspects of the European Hell that may shock me." Although I may not be one to disagree about his stubbornness, I would argue that Katashi could potentially be a great leader like Hannibal or Nobunaga. However, as a man, I would think that his life as it was and is to this day suits people like us. Living our lives, doing what we do best in the quiet, hidden ways behind the backs of the people. Besides, only the people in the backgrounds are the ones who deal with things.

"Saying that, what would you like to eat? Presuming that we are traveling for tomorrow, I would presume nothing too heavy or oily? Something simple?"

"Home cooking is not bad, but probably something more digestible. Hot pot then? There are a handful of decent places." Now, in Hell, we had hot pot, but what made Hell's version special always pointed towards the ingredients. I would love to say that they were amazingly bizarre, but it was not the appearance that deceived the eater. It was the after effect. The hot pot's broth created this amusing effect on its customers; it was a truth serum, so if I had anything perverse in my minds, I would blurt it out. Apparently, demons use this place to see if someone's cheating with someone else.

"Neh, neh. Customer-san? Is the broth to your liking?" My reply? Well, you'd normally think I'd say something rude, but ironic as it sounds, I wouldn't give a reason to hate them just over food. So literally, I said this.

"Not too bad. Would you mind giving me a glass of water though? I need to douse someone with it." Hey, I didn't lie. I just didn't say who I was splashing. It wasn't the restaurant. I pretty much knew what I was getting into when I came, but this one customers who has been touching the butts of all of the female waitresses in the restaurant was bugging me, so you could imagine what came next.

"WHAT THE HELL, BITCH?!" Well, succinct and rude. Perfect way to insult a lady. Still, plenty of ways to insult a 'gentleman'. Curious, how many of you would think I would down right murder him? Raise those hands; I know a few would think that I would do that. To your demise, I happened to not do that. Restraint tends to be necessary and besides… I happened to have one of the most terrifying demons as my dinner partner. You could imagine some of the glares, but for your sanity, I would suggest not.

"Sir, with all due respect, for which I have none for someone with your generous hostility, these sort of behaviors are what put humans in the Mortal Hell department for a reason. Should I file the paperwork to allow for a youkai to be in their ranks as well?" Seeing him flinch was, well, amusing at worst, satisfying at best. Now that I fully allowed myself some relief, I excused myself to wait outside. I didn't notice Katashi following suite, but I did pay for the meal before I left, so I suppose it would be awkward to be left there alone.

"Superb counter. If only the usual interrogators would do the same. However, I presume that was not your original intent on this evening." One way or the other, yes. The meal itself was not bad. It was fairly pleasant and businesslike. Yes, businesslike. I spent the entire time interrogating Katashi as to what he did to ensure a repeat of what happened on our last trip did not ensue and to leave the fantasies for the privacy of my own home.

"So we have those countermeasures, but how do we prevent another excessive purchase of unnecessary torture items? Last time, he bought several wooden ponies and iron maidens, correct?" Yeah, you have any idea just how difficult it was to arrange deals? In Hell, typically, deals like these stick because we probably will have use for them in the future, but for the time being where would we keep these devices? Most of the storages did not have the durability nor the room to hold such tools and leaving them outside would suggest to the masses that we have money to spend it on these things, so more complaints about our strict policies would be put into question.

"That is true. Rest assure. I've instructed that there would be no major purchases while we were away. Anything over 10 ryou will be put on hold until we return." Reassuring, right? Nope. Who knows? Someone might just buy something around 2 ryou and buy 10 of them. True, the staff probably could conclude that such a purchase would be a little overdone, but we just had to hope, right? Well, suffice it to say, we spent the evening like that. I don't really recall that much afterwards since I pretty much spent the little time I had packing and worrying if everything would be all right, which I would presume would be a no.

The following morning, we headed out towards the European Hell. The journey itself was pleasant since we only had to take a road that connects all of the Hells together. Although we have no use for it currently, since the invention of the Hell Airlines, it was still popular during this time. To carry us all the way to the European Hell, distinct vehicles of each Hell indicated where you were going. The carriage for us… well… let's just say we had quite the escort group.

"Now then, Mr. Hozuki. Ms. Minamoto. This way please." Yes… a group of maids and an accompanying footman. Heaven forbid, Satan-sama really is one for etiquette. Odd considering the man who decided to abandon the kingdom of peace and pleasure for a realm where the souls are dragged out into their sins and punished accordingly.

The road itself reminds a person of a concealed forest since there were various types of trees, each of which were unique to the respective Hell that you were visiting. Now, we had wildlife in the area, but ironically, they're tame. They're not like the legends such as Cerberus from Hades' realm or any sort of mythological creature that you could recall from those stories. No, they were just regular animals found from the Mortal world. I guess animals were always more in sync with the natural process of life and death, so it would not be so wholely unexpected to see a few. Not all animals became spirits or demons such as Momotarou-san's companions. Some just stay on this road, acting out their deaths as if it were life.

"Hozuki-san, may I ask that you contain your excitement about the animal life here and focus on the documents here?" As in excitement, as in staring at the animals so intently that they ran away, thinking that he was glaring at them. To be honest, I pitied them. It's not like he had bad intentions, like they would have suspected, but any creature would run from that stare.

"Minamoto-san, are you insinuating that you are not capable of this menial task?" …now that's a slap in the face, both figuratively and literally since a squirrel randomly flew into my face. Sighing as one would expect, I gently laid the creature on the tatami and continued my work while listening to Hozuki-san enthuse over the adorable critters. Upon pulling up to the European pine and oak trees, we stepped out to see a stone path, leading up to the European Hell. A small hike in wooden katas, lovely. Although I am fairly fit, a long walk in katas is never comfortable.

Seeing the grounds in person, you could say it was actually rather… how to describe it? Rather quaint. Yes. You could say it was quaint. In comparison to our hell, it was more primitive in the sense of how the tortures were given out. I could give you a list of all of the tortures, but I find that to be a rather limited list. True, the iron maiden and the wooden pony supposedly originated from the European hell, but aside from that, the tortures were primarily whipping, drowning, and hanging. There were the occasional blood spatters, but nothing particularly shocking. This was basic training for interns back in the Japanese hell.

"Ms. Minamoto? My name is Elizabeth Sterling. I shall be your guide for today. This way please." At this time, we were to meet some of the top officials, but as it turns out, they were pulled away for some contest. At this time, I didn't hear why until I asked.

"Hmm? Oh. They are attending the wife carrying competition. It's tradition that Master Satan and Mr. Beelzebub attend." …wife carrying… I must admit. I thought the contests for the goldfish plants were strange. No; they're tame in comparison to some of the S&M competitions in the European Hell. Heaven forbid. If Katashi or I were to ever compete for who is most sadistic, one of us would win. Probably Katashi, but who knows, right? I sure hope the day that happens never arrives for the sake of all the undead souls in both the European and the Japanese Hell. Then the thought hit me…

"…Elizabeth-san, may I ask who is Satan-sama's wife and why would she agree to such an…unorthodox competition?" Please. Let me know who would marry a guy like him. And… marriage technically is validated by Heaven. How does that work with marriages in Hell? Well, then again, I could imagine that the marriages in our Hell raise some skepticism then in terms of their validity, but I'm not going to delve more into that. Trying to understand these concepts are what the thinkers do for their afterlife. It gives them something to do. Definitely not for us with jobs to do. Well… maybe a few exceptions such as Satan-sama.

"Hmm? Ah. Master Satan usually carries one of the maids. His wife in Heaven has technically divorced him." …right, he was Lucifer back in Heaven, right? I might have gotten my facts about that mixed up, but forgive me. Christian History isn't my forte.

"Minamoto-san, I shall leave the main tour to you. They are currently doing tortures outside, so I will observe their techniques." Although you could say that Hozuki-san was one to be efficient, I would prefer to wish that he would be a little less efficient when it came to this. Even though as demons, we have obligations to learn how to effectively torture all the souls that come our way, I still have my limitations. The S&M torture methods definitely are not my preferred styles.

"Ms. Minamoto. Would you like to join Mr. Hozuki in his observation?" Nope. Not even close… I think my complete denial made that clear.

After observing the castle grounds, I realized how different the standards of the workers were different from that of our Hell. We never specifically stayed in places that distinctly stated that we were different from the other souls in terms of status and lifestyle. Although we were distinctly different based on clothing from time to time, we workers never made ourselves live in stone castles with beautifully carved pillars such as the ones in Satan-sama's castle. The detail in all the gargoyles and the delicate touch of the all the leather furniture emphasized greatly on the amount of effort that was put into the land, but the disparity between the regular workers and the governmental workers was truly distasteful.

Now, I'm not saying that the Japanese hell was the best hell to be in. I doubt there would be a Hell like that since we need to keep up our reputations, but when it comes to the equality of the workers, somehow, I felt that the European one was more upfront with its bias. Whether or not that was better is debatable, but I didn't have to like it either. Most of the females were simply giving out drinks or sorting through papers. None were like me in the sense of authority. Furthermore, I couldn't help but feel like I was being treated like an exotic decoration. The way the men referred to me as the 'wild woman' or the 'obstinate lady' was slightly upsetting, but bearable.

"Elizabeth-san, may I ask what is your job specifically in the department?"

"Ah… I'm the main secretary for Master Satan when it pertains to his personal problems." Pardon?

"Master Satan is a rather… lacking master when it pertains to his concentration. If I am not there to assist him along with his tasks accordingly, I am afraid most of the work would not be done at all." …so she's a more modest version of me. Lovely. Well, I could at least respect Elizabeth-san. Hozuki-san was at least always applied his best effort into his work and Enma-daiou at least could be pushed with more ease. Satan-sama seemed to be a little bit more than lacking when it comes to his professional career.

"I could well imagine the pain. If there is anything to be done in this case, I would believe very well that you would do most of the paperwork only to get his signature without him even considering what he is signing." Seeing her nod and just sigh affirmed that thought. Given Satan-sama's reaction to the tour of Hell we gave him, I can only presume that he is being cautious about us. Although he came again in the future, he never saw Hozuki-san until that time, so that probably affirmed his beliefs that we were far stricter when it comes to our policies.

After taking my time to examine the nature of the office, I saw how the documents were organized as well as the format. Unlike our documents, theirs were far less details about the plan and more concise for easy reading. I presumed that was because Satan-sama would never read over any long document like Enma-daiou or any reasonable king of Hell. Upon inspection of the staff, I found that the maid fetish that Satan-sama so readily showed leaked into his secretaries. Ironically, I found out that their job primarily is to wait on the other officials, provide tea and other small time jobs. A waste, if you ask me, but such is the way of European men.

"As you can see here, these are the torture chambers for the 'witches of the generation', but as of late, this positions have been claimed by primarily female murders and prostitutes who have slept with married men."

"Seems rather simplistic to hang them by their arms and simply whip them every day. Isn't the S&M business thriving on that sort of torture? It would be much easier to use them as test subjects for various new concoctions and other new inventions. Let them taste their own medicine and handiwork." Ironically, instead of being disgusted by my comment, Sterling-san became curious as indicated by the rather amused look on her face. I guess female secretaries in Hell all think alike in some manner.

"So I presume that the light punishment was actually due to Satan-sama?"

"After glimpsing into what your country did for punishment, he somehow felt the need to increase punishment diversity. Before, he just left these women to burn." Talk about simplistic; this guy is universally with his easy going punishment. It's actually rather weird to think that one of the largest and well discussed underworlds is the most simplistic and lenient. That's quite a thought, isn't it?

"Kanna-chan! Long time no see!" Ah. At that time, Lilith-san was actually coming by to say hello. Skipping out on work, but considering that her job is to seduce every single male possible, I think we could afford for her to leave her post for a few hours, if not forever.

"Lilith-san, nice to see you. Just tell me, why is it that you are not attending the wife carrying competition?" Lilith-san IS married, after all. If you imagine the idea that she would be carried up on a hike with Beelzebub-san carrying her with his lizard tail trailing behind him, it would actually be funny since neither were ones to enjoy sports of that sort.

"Would you expect for me to be an obedient wife and accept such humiliation? Hardly. Besides, prideful members of the elite do not want to be found soaked in sweat." True, true.

"Ahem, Ms. Lilith, should I beg the question as to why you are here? I believe that I also assigned you to the competition as well." Seeing that Lilith-san simply whistled and looked away, it wasn't hard to imagine that she skipped out. Not that I blame her. Imagining her getting carried by one guy over the shoulder is not a pleasant sight. Then something occurred to me: the concept of marriage.

Flicking myself in the forehead, I thought it foolish to consider the idea since that I would be working for probably the remaining of my afterlife. Besides, if you take it from my perspective, marriage was considered a deal. The ideal marriage my parents had? I was almost tempted to believe I made majority of it up from imagination because it seems almost too unreal. I have proof though every single time that they were real, so I couldn't refute it. Besides, what is marriage: living together with a man whom you love and spending every other moment together that you can find, drowning in bliss? I don't know. I doubt it would be much more different, but who knows? I think at this point, I would have actually thought a date to be more of an impossible endeavor.

"Minamoto-san?" Yeah, I got caught off guard. Luckily, neither of ladies took it to heart. They just presumed that I was simply thinking about my surroundings. Far from it.

"Anyways, Lilith-san, I would suggest that you run away. I believe I see Beelzebub-san approaching from the south hall. I'll see you later, I presume." Seeing how she winked at me and then jumped out of the window, she planned just that. Yes, she jumped out the window and no, it was only the first story floor, so she didn't get hurt at all. After the long tour with Sterling-san, Lilith-san did take me out to proper English tea since I showed her a proper Japanese teahouse back during her visit, so you could say it was not so unexpected that she pestered me about every single detail between me and Hozuki-san.

"Not even a kiss? Exactly what sort of unromantic lifestyle are you having, Kanna?" Well… Hozuki-san and I are workaholics. That would be an understatement, so romance is not our forte.

"Lilith-san, unlike in the extremes of European romances, our culture takes a much more subtle route and you could hardly say that I was expecting anything particularly that romantic." Flicking at my tea cup, I watched the ripples in the tea distort the image of my face. I would lying to myself if I didn't want some romance, but the teasing that we establish is more than enough for right now. Frankly… the idea of me losing complete control of myself is frightening. Good intentions or not, I'm afraid I will never be able to stop.

"Still, you never know if another woman takes his interest. If you two are so busy, then wouldn't another woman be able to capture his attention?" I'd love to see them try, but for that very reason, it's unlikely. Hozuki-san and I focus on the tasks at hand for the most part. We might make small talk or random comments, but how often are we able to flirt? And for that matter, when we're actually able to chit-chat, we're typically together. If he was capable of flirting with other women on top of all the work we do, I'd actually compliment him.

"That's still unlikely. Still, it's fine. I think this balance right now is about right what I should expect." Any more, I would consider myself greedy.

"Kanna… you really are blind, aren't you?" Hmm?

"If you can't be selfish with your own lover and do something more romantic, when are you ever going to relax? For that matter, will you guys actually feel like you're in love?" … that was actually something I couldn't answer at the time. Like I said, I didn't know what love was. I couldn't answer her even if I tried. I couldn't logically analyze what it was to me. I could define it by the terms given by society, but the actual feeling, I still was uncertain about.

"… you know even less than I do." …now that couldn't be good, coming from a seductress.

"Oh… so you know?"

"Kanna, it's great and all for you to take the steps slowly, but you two were perfectly comfortable with seeing each other in ways most beginning couples would ever imagine and yet you two haven't even hold hands as lovers. That is a little concerning." True in a way. I was affected by that sweat cleaning time, but I just didn't show it. There's a difference. Still, Lilith-san had a point which I couldn't combat against.

"I guess you could say we're so cautious that we don't show our emotions that much. We leave that for the privacy of our own rooms, I suppose." Well, that wasn't a lie. It just wasn't the whole truth.

"Still, you two should talk more about what it is that you two lovebirds want out of each other. You're not playing the games that I play. Temptations with the basic emotions is my job, so caution is always suggested, but if you two are sincere, just talk it out. It's not like you have an egotistical husband." … well, I could argue that he does have an ego, but that's another time.

"I guess."

"You guess? Now there's something wrong there."

"Oh? And meaning that we're not that much of a couple or I am lacking in control over my lover?" The former, I would concerned about, but the latter is not that much of a problem for me. I couldn't control him even if I tried. Imagine Hozuki-san on a leash? Not happening.

"I suggest both, but the former more so."

"Your suggestion then?" At this time, I looked at her directly with half closed eyes. I wasn't bored, but if I looked directly at her, you could say that I thought she would see right through me.

"Be aggressive and talk it out more. You're somehow always taking the back seat, despite how aggressive you are elsewhere." I would lying if I wasn't being passive a lot.

I do concede a lot, partially by choice and partially because the alternatives are much worse, but you could argue that it was all my choice. Besides, I was more than comfortable with most of his decisions. That and… I'm already able to stand level ground with Hozuki-san. Isn't that more than I should have asked for? I find that relationships where either side is more forceful than the other never ends well. The feeling of never being able to stand next to your partner in some way is something I never wish to experience.

"And pray tell how you would know this." Especially since you are one of the first in historical reference to have a divorce. Matter of fact, why am I asking for advice here? Oh, right, because she's the only one I could really talk to about this stuff since most of the women who are in the department are single or already married and those who are married, I don't get along with.

"Hey, just because I'm not one to stick to one guy doesn't mean that I'm no expert when it comes to steady relationships. I've seen it enough times to know what clicks and what doesn't." …I questioned that, but apparently, her advice is sound enough. Lending an ear probably wasn't going to kill me.

"Well? What do you suggest to accomplish such a task?"

"How about you two take a real vacation together for once? As in no working whatsoever?" …is that demonly possible?

"…Lilith-san, you realize that both of us are perfectionistic work zealots, right?"

"Exactly. You two need to be less like superior and subordinates and actually be a couple." … define what a couple is because we've already gotten really far as it is with our relationship minus the sex. I really would like to say that we're not too far, but it is true that we kind of skipped a lot of steps. I guess a date is in order, but… could we actually pull that off without making the entire department go nuts? Every single time we left, something happened.

"… I'll take it into consideration." That I did. That I did.

"Still, if that's the case, we need to change your attire." Excuse me?

"Kanna dear. I love you and all, but you're too plain." Why am I not surprised? Oh, right. Because I was dealing with a woman who is more up to date with fashion than most and has the money to afford it.

"You never do anything with your long hair, despite how silky it is. You never use makeup that could accent all of your best features, even though you're off-duty. You wear single color kimonos, even when you go out for socializing." Well, I do admit that I'm rather plain with my fashion, but I prefer simplicity. I don't like having to send secondary messages with the clothing designs, so I often avoided them whenever possible. There are some nice organic patterns to the kimonos I have, but I doubted that at that time, I've shown them to her and I didn't want to deal with a fashion guru categorizing my clothes any more than I could afford to. Ah, did I mention that her sense of fashion as shown later is actually because I convinced her to dress more practically? Yes, she wore sexy lacy or puffy dresses that were to the point where 'slut' was commonly used against her.

"You never relax, which is only making your life more difficult. You're so afraid of enjoying yourself that you'll burn out. Frankly, the way you look makes the vampires look healthier than you." … well, the latter part was not wrong since long before I died, I looked paler than the moon, quite literally. Put a paper scroll next to me; I'll be paler than the scroll. However, that was the definition of beauty back then, so no one really complained until Lilith-san. Relaxation, everything has been said thoroughly enough to explain why, so I hope sincerely that I don't have to repeat it.

Sipping my tea until the very last drop, I simply smirked and looked at Lilith-san after composing my own thoughts. It was really obvious and I knew she was right, for once, but I still needed to say something that would clarify one thing: it's not that we haven't gone on dates; it's just that they turn into work halfway through. Yup, a bunch of workaholics.

"All right. I'll take a stab in the dark for this assignment, but I do believe then that you have a job to do now. I see that Beelzebub-san is coming this way, looking for you, I believe." Oh, she sped away at the speed of light. Literally. I could see the blur of her dress heading out the window.

Watching Beelzebub-san peer in and around the shop, I rested my head on my hand, thinking about an outfit that I had which would be considered too flashy for my usual tastes. The only one I really considered as 'appropriate' date material would be a yukata I had. I made it myself using cloth I won from a raffle. A nice simple aquamarine morning glory dye painting on pale lime green fabric. It looked nice on me, or so the kimono shop said. Taking a moment to rub between my eyes, I then realized something rather obvious. Where would Hozuki-san take me for a date? Hell isn't exactly a well-suggested place for dates.

"Ms. Kinomoto?" Ah. Sterling-san.

"Waiting for Mr. Hozuki to arrive?"

"Not at all. I was merely chatting with Lilith-san. That is all." To be honest, I wasn't up for more chatter, but bad diplomacy never ends well. We've had too many wars to support that fact.

"I would have presumed that you would be waiting for your husband." I spewed all of my tea out my mouth as soon as I heard that. Yeah, I wasn't really expecting that sort of reply.

"….. lover, not husband…" Her surprised and amused look started rubbing badly at me for many reasons that I am more than sure that you can figure out. I'm not saying that I was particularly angry at her; I simply grew to be annoyed.

"Is that so? Well, then. The way Japanese couples certainly spend much more time than European engagements do. With the manner of which you two have been, I would have presumed marriage at the least, if not children." …okay. That would have been normal provided that A.) Katashi and I were a normal couple and B.) we were even married, both which are not true.

After studying European relationships, I've come to realize that the pace of which a relationship goes is relatively fast in comparison to those we Japanese experience. Within a month, two strangers could be engaged, married and already onto having their child. Rather frightening if you ask me. Within half an hour, I became painfully aware of the fact that Hozuki-san and I were more or less "wallflower lovers" than actual lovers, at least in the eyes of European demons.

"So, in essence, your relationship is more alike to a title rather than a real relationship." As I have been told several times. At this point, I was ready to leave. Give me Hozuki-san's torture any day over being drained of my energy bit by bit.

"As I am well aware at this point. Lilith-san made that exceptionally clear. Am I truly so pitiful that I require advice about every move I make as a lover?" Seeing how she pondered over my relationship, I came to question why she would even care. Was this a test of Japanese culture or something far more simple such as idle gossip? I never asked her.

Stirring around with her tea cup, I noticed a hint of hesitation in her movements. Although elegant and refined, the slight hints of jolts were signs that even I could see, signs that told me that she was remembering something rather grotesque. Perhaps I overstepped my boundaries. I wasn't too sure what to say at that point. Flicking at my tea cup, I slowly drank my tea and left the bill. Tapping her shoulder as I left, I noticed that a black robed character coming my direction. Always on time, right? Bowing my head in apology, I left her there, allowing her to watch me get picked up by the one I would call 'dear' in the some future.

"Enjoying yourself, Minamoto-san?" Nodding my way past him, I walked defiantly in front of him with my chin up. Whether or not it was curiosity that made Hozuki-san follow me or something as simple as going in the same direction, Hozuki-san followed suit for once. Unlike in our Hell, the streets were far more bland and lacked the distinct order that a Hell should have. Chaos can only go so far. The bland rocks and dark shops seemed more cliché than even stories would tell. It was then when I recalled that this was the tourist area. During this walk, Hozuki-san occasionally asked me something only for me to say a word or two in response. It wasn't until we reached the inn room for which we would stay in that I was forced to speak. Yes. Forced.

"Am I to expect a silent lover at this point or is there far more going on through your mind that I will have to pry out of your thoughts, Kanna? Although an agreeable companion is acceptable, I did not fall for such a discomposed woman. Should I presume that you have lost your nerves?" Lovely, right? Pinned against the wall with Katashi's arms to my sides and only a centimeter of distance between our faces. I imagine some girls fangirling over this.

"Katashi, rather than that, I've been through the tour enough times to stop caring about the scenery. Although I do apologize for my lack of reply."

"…by chance, did Lilith-san say anything to you?" … did I get hitched with a mind reading youkai or what? At times like this, I could debate about the benefits and costs of my relationship, but I think I already knew the answer.

"What would make you say that?"

"Whenever you and Lilith-san talk, you always tense up around me, especially when she mentions something rather advanced for our relationship. Although you never once tried to show yourself behind your defenses, I would think that you would try to trust me a little." That…was a harder request to oblige by. Because even I didn't know what I was without the mask on. If you ask me, I would think it'd be best to keep it on. At least then I could tell you what I was thinking. I never lied; I just never knew the truth.

"…then what should I do?" At that moment, I thought I saw him flinch. What should I do… to show you that side of me?"

"How about being selfish?" …what would that look like? Asking him for a kiss? Something more intimate?... No, my heart was not ready for such treatment.

"What would think would be selfish of me? I always thought that my life as a youkai was already beyond my own expectations and what I deserved. What could I possibly ask?" That was when I got a good slap in the face. More like punch, but for me, it's equivalent to a slap.

"Kanna, look at yourself. When have you smiled sincerely since that day when you received that pin? Every day, you concede to my demand and never request anything selfish in return. Your smile is drawn on your face as if Hakutaku-san drew on you." Right…. I… um… never really smiled. I was always kind of a strict person, so a business smile was typical of me, but a genuine smile was as rare as coral jewelry. Difficult to attain and polish. Seeing anything more than that would have taken a lot.

Thinking of myself, I looked into our relationship. That was when it occurred to me. In the entire time we've been together, which would have been 4 month by this time, I never once received a hug from him. Yes, a simple hug. I didn't need the kisses or anything beyond that… Rather than the fleeting feeling of his body entwined with mine to that level of intimacy… I just wanted a hug. You could argue that I was simply being foolish and should request something weird like making Katashi do jumping jacks, though I doubt he'd do them. No, I just... wanted to reassure myself that I wasn't dreaming. That he was really here, in front of me.

"…then, could I possibly trouble you for a hug?" I probably did the most cliché thing I've ever done. It wasn't too much to ask, I guess, but I really didn't know what to do.

"Rather a mundane request, but all right." When I felt him hold me, it was almost like he was holding glass. Gently and very lightly. I guessed he never knew what it meant to hug a lover, not that I would expect him to, but, it felt nice… I kind of gave way to his hold and rested my head on his shoulder. I wasn't expecting like a pat on the head or ever a hint of anything more than a casual hug, but that was all I needed. A simple hug. You'd think after wiping Katashi's sweat off of his half naked body would have affected me more, but this simple hug made me want to collapse.

"... this feels rather awkward."

"I imagine this is the issue that newly wedded couple feel when they stare at the futon together on their wedding night." ...TMI, Katashi. TMI.

"...I-I g-guess..."

"Should I expect to see more tonight?" …I downright blushed after hearing that. I don't know even to this point if he meant it, but I assure you one thing, I never let him go any further than that that night. Don't get me wrong; I fell asleep in his arms, but that's beside the point.