Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series and am not Stephenie Meyer.
A/N – As promised, the continuation of the lovely meadow scene. See, I do keep my promises! :) Now, obviously, this chapter is shorter than the previous, but I had to find a suitable place to cut it and the end of the last chapter was where, so…yeah. :)
Enjoy the chapter!
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Exhilarating
For a long moment, there was silence and I had time for my contemplations. Then Bella began to ask, "Why…?"
Then she stopped speaking. I looked back down at her, and smiled in encouragement. "Yes?"
She lifted her chin in determination, seeming to set her mind on a goal. "Tell me why you ran from me before."
My smile instantly dropped away from my face. I didn't want to revisit that scene. I didn't want to think about what I had almost done to her. "You know why."
"No, I mean, exactly what did I do wrong?" My chest constricted at those words. How could she think that it was her fault? That she had done something wrong? "I'll have to be on my guard, you see, so I better start learning what I shouldn't do. This, for example" – she stroked the back of my hand – "seems to be all right."
What had I done to make her think that it was her fault I had lost control? Certainly, she hadn't helped my shakiness by leaning towards me – but how could she have known that my barriers were splintering? How could she possibly have known that I wasn't in full control of myself? Simply put, there was no way she could have known.
And, determined to keep her from seeing it on my face, I smiled gently as I tried to convince her not to worry and fret over what she could do to help me. The only thing that she could do would be to lose her scent, and that was impossible – so why should she worry? "You didn't do anything wrong, Bella. It was my fault." It was my responsibility.
"But I want to help, if I can, to not make this harder for you." I had to admit, that made sense – and would be helpful. Welcome. If she were being just a little bit more careful, more thoughtful of her own safety, it would help me immensely by taking away some of the appeal of her blood.
"Well…" I thought about what had caused me to finally break. "It was just how close you were. Most humans instinctively shy away from us, are repelled by our alienness…" Except when we were hunting: then, we used every advantage we had to draw them in.
But I wasn't about to tell Bella that: what would she think when she was attracted to me? That I was trying to lure her in as prey, probably, which wasn't the truth. That was why I wasn't going to tell her that part of the problem. "I wasn't expecting you to come so close." Which was also true. "And the smell of your throat."
I stopped there – not wanting to continue along that train of thought, and not wanting to scare her. After all, if she were afraid, that would make it harder to keep from attacking her. Even though I had a surprisingly high resistance up right now, I didn't want to risk it breaking again.
"Okay, then," she replied flippantly. To my surprise, she tucked her chin in, covering her neck. "No throat exposure."
I couldn't help it; I had to laugh. "No, really, it was more the surprise than anything else." The sudden proximity to her throat, the blood pounding there without warning...she had just been too close, too suddenly, for me to be able to adjust to the temptation. I had control now…
Perhaps foolishly, I tested myself. Carefully, I raised my free hand and gently set it on the side of her neck. That was fine: I was handling this. I could feel her pulse underneath my hand, of course, but I wasn't jumping on her. In fact, the monster inside of me was quieting, somehow. My instincts, fought with for so long, suddenly seemed tired and weary. They weren't struggling against my control as much, seeming contented by this simple touch.
"You see," I murmured. "Perfectly fine." I was telling both of us that this was all right. Her heartbeat steadily increased, but it was the slow addition of torture that allowed me to stay in control. If her heart rate, skin temperature and closeness had hit all at once, again, I was sure that my control would have faltered.
Instead, the gradual addition of each type of lure allowed me to build up my resistance to her. Even the visual sight of her darkening cheeks was enough to handle. "The blush on your cheeks is lovely," I told her quietly. Carefully freeing my other hand from its captivity, I raised it to her cheek and brushed the glowing warmth, much like I had those days at school after our Biology class.
And then, with utmost tenderness, I cupped her face between my palms. The fiery heat that I could feel, rising from her skin into mine, was exhilarating. I knew that I had to do something – and instinctually knew what it was, even without a name or label. "Be very still," I warned Bella, wanting to make sure that she wouldn't move and upset the delicate balance that had formed between all the components of this encounter.
My movements were slow as I leaned toward her, and I was still in control by the time I had moved close enough to where I had to run away before. But now I was the one in control, not Bella: I was the one closing the distance between us at a carefully regulated pace, instead of the quick, thoughtless movement forward.
I knew I had control. I knew that I was in control. And as I gently pressed my cheek to her throat, I was still stranding strong over the instincts that demanded I turn my head to her throbbing heartbeat – and bite.
This test was unbelievably dangerous. I was a fool for doing it. And at the same time, I knew no greater pleasure than the knowledge that I was not killing her – and we were this close. I was still in control of myself, and she was alive.
Deliberately slow, I slid my hands down her throat, heading toward her shoulders. She shivered, and I caught my breath for a moment, afraid that I would break. But I didn't: I held firm and strong. My hands hadn't stopped in their motion, and soon they rested on her shoulders.
Careful not to move too fast – or in an indecent way, despite the strange intimacy of our positions – I moved my head slightly to the side. And right there, right beside my ear, came the pounding, relentless heartbeat. Her heart was strong and loud, and I could have heard it from across the meadow – indeed, from far into the forest.
But it was right there, instead. Right underneath my ear, within a ridiculously, dangerously close distance. And I was still in control…I didn't know how many times I could repeat that to myself without feeling exhilarated.
I couldn't help sighing at the sensation of warmth that crept to the skin of my face, as if I were under a heat lamp. It was infinitely better than a heat lamp, of course. And much better smelling…
Somehow, this masochistic pastime was peaceful. Through some strange reasoning, I found myself completely at peace as I held my position. I found that the struggle over my instincts was slowing down to a mere push or shove every now and then, as I detected the steady change in her heartbeat.
It was gradually decreasing in tempo. She was relaxing as well, slowly becoming accustomed to our closeness. She was no longer confused and wary, but instead, feeling calm. Knowing that she was perfectly fine with our closeness was…very nice.
I didn't know how much time passed, as I kept my ear over her heart. The shadows were lengthening and the day was dying, slowly, but I felt so at peace that I couldn't help wishing we could stay this way. This was safe, however bizarre that sounded. I was accustomed to her, so much more, now that we were sitting quietly like this.
When I finally did pull away, it was with one absolute certainty. "It won't be so hard again." If I could stand to be that close to her, touching her so fully, then surely I could handle this temptation from a distance away.
"Was that very hard for you?" she asked, her eyes glittering. There was a sense of wonder about her expression, which I couldn't help wondering about.
"Not nearly as bad as I imagined it would be. And you?" I asked. I hadn't felt – heard – any discomfort, but I wanted to be sure.
"No, it wasn't bad…for me." She sounded slightly dazed: I smiled at her inflection. A faint red sprung up on her cheeks. "You know what I mean." And she smiled, too, showing that she was okay with the slight embarrassment.
I stared at her for a long moment, before realizing that a phantom echo of her heat was still imprinted on my cheekbone. Wanting to share that with her, I grasped her hand in mine. "Here." I pressed her hand to my face. "Do you feel how warm it is?" Her heat had seeped thoroughly into my ice-cold skin.
Something flashed across her face, replacing the wonder. I didn't know what it was, but I felt inexplicably nervous when she whispered, "Don't move."
I decided to allow her whatever it was that she wanted. Closing my eyes, I tried my hardest to stay still when her hand didn't move away from my face.
Instead, it began to move on my face. Her hand caressed my cheek, fingers tracing my eyelid and underneath my eye, and then over my nose. The tingling arcs of heat that she left trailing behind in the wake of her fingers were all that I could concentrate on. And then her fingertips brushed around my lips and I could hardly hold in a silent sigh.
It escaped over her fingers, probably cooling her skin with the temperature. And she drew her hand away. I hadn't wanted her to stop – if only she could understand these feelings, these emotions I had never experienced before. I certainly didn't understand them, and I wanted to know what they were. I wanted to know. But I didn't know what it was she had excited in me.
Opening my eyes, I stared into her eyes again. Was this same feeling in her eyes? I couldn't recognize it. "I wish…I wish you could feel the…complexity…" The myriad of strange emotions that I couldn't name… "The confusion…I feel. That you could understand." Maybe she had her own melting pot of unknown emotions? I didn't know.
Raising my hand, I ran it over her hair and then, was back to touching her face. I wondered if my touch felt like hers had to me. "Tell me," she breathed, a request I couldn't deny.
But also, a request that demanded something I wasn't even sure I could give her. "I don't think I can. I've told you, on the one hand, the hunger – the thirst – that, deplorable creature that I am, I feel for you." To a degree that she hadn't known beforehand… "And I think you can understand that, to an extent. Though, as you are not addicted to any illegal substances, you probably can't empathize completely." And she was definitely an 'illegal' addiction for me.
Something else was troubling me, besides that. "But…" I couldn't help brushing my fingers over her lips, lightly and carefully. Mimicking some desire I wasn't sure I knew the name of. "There are other hungers. Hungers I don't even understand, that are foreign to me."
"I may understand that better than you think." And I was sure she did. I didn't know a precise name for the things that were consuming me, with that alien 'love'. I was, however, sure that these desires were the more human ones I had.
"I'm not used to feeling so human," I admitted. That was because I wasn't human – I was a monster – but that was something we didn't need to get into right now. Knowing my luck, she would side with my family's opinion on the matter. "Is it always like this?" I had to ask her.
"For me?" she replied, pausing in thought. "No, never. Never before this."
I had to pull away at the thought that she was in the same boat that I was stranded in. At least I wasn't alone in this uncertainty. But now, the problem was that she didn't have a surefire guideline for me – for us – to follow.
Enclosing her hands in both of mine, I tried to figure out a way to indulge in one of my desires – without putting her in danger. But, try as I might, I simply couldn't and ended up admitting, "I don't know how to be close to you. I don't know if I can."
Her actions surprised me. Slowly, with her eyes locked on mine, she leaned forward. This time I was ready for her to lean towards me: I had seen the intent in her eyes. Once she was closer, she turned her head to the side and leaned against my chest, her body moving forward with her. I could feel so much of her body heat, on my chest and legs as she leaned over them.
She sighed once settled against my immobile, frozen form. "This is enough," she told me.
A different kind of instinct compelled me to release her hands from their captivity. I pulled my arms around her body, lowering my face to her hair as I held her close. Her sweet scent rose into my face, but I knew that I was completely able to handle this closeness. That helped any reservations I held.
"You're better at this than you give yourself credit for," she told me.
"I have human instincts – they may be buried deep, but they're there." Just like I had love for another, hidden inside me for so many long years. And just like I had never realized I was capable of such affection for someone outside my family. Human instinct and my feelings were somehow entwined when it came to the romantic senses I had long denied.
We stayed in place for a long time. I could see the shadows lengthening, reaching us, and that we would have to leave if Bella was going to be home tonight. I didn't want to break our embrace – a position that was warming me, simply because Bella's skin was touching mine. But we had to sometime: Bella was, indeed, going home today. I was going to keep that promise.
When she sighed, I knew that she had realized what I knew. "You have to go."
"I thought you couldn't read my mind," she answered.
I grinned. No, I couldn't. But I was getting better at reading Bella. "It's getting clearer." A thought came to mind, as I was looking at the growing shadows. There was no way we would make it back to the car in time to get Bella home if we were to hike all the way back. But if we went my way…
I placed my hands on her shoulders, and she looked up at my face. "Can I show you something?" The thought of running with Bella was, somehow, exciting. A part of me was uncertain – would she not like it? Would she be scared by the glimpse of how inhuman I was, to be able to run so fast?
But I reminded myself that she already knew how fast I could move. I'd proven it to her time and time again. The only new part of this was that I would have her with me while I ran, which was certainly a new experience. And I found such joy in running…I wanted to share that with her.
"Show me what?" she asked, all curiosity.
"I'll show you how I travel in the forest." Wariness erupted across her expression. "Don't worry, you'll be very safe, and we'll get to your truck much faster." I smiled at her, attempting to persuade her that it was perfectly fine.
Her face was completely serious, and uncertain, as she asked, "Will you turn into a bat?"
Some kind of emotional high was already in place before she asked me such a ridiculous question. But upon hearing her words, I couldn't help crowing in laughter. "Like I haven't heard that one before!" I choked out. Because humans asked me all the time if I could turn into a bat in order to get out of the forest!
"Right, I'm sure you get that all the time." Her sarcasm was refreshing.
Calming the laughter that was still threatening to bubble up, I told her, "Come on, little coward, climb on my back."
She blinked at me. I could see her hesitating, wondering whether I was being serious or not. Smiling, I decided not to wait for her – I was excited and my head was clearer than it had been in days, despite the continuous murky haze of Bella's scent that permeated my entire being. Reaching for Bella, I soon had her situated on my back.
"I'm a bit heavier than your average backpack," she said.
I snorted. "Hah!" She wasn't a statuesque young woman, like Rosalie, and neither was she a tiny pixie like Alice. She was average height, average weight – even if I had been human, her size wouldn't have been too much to carry. But since I had near super-strength, it was absurdly easy to carry her.
Her arms were wound around my neck, and I could smell her scent, just a little. But I wanted more than that: it was a torture, but it was also like drinking in her scent. Without really thinking about it, I seized her hand and muzzled my nose to her palm.
The scent was oddly sharp there, in her hand. I could smell it so easily, and it made me feel…thirst, yes, but also calm. Almost like we were back there, on the grass in the meadow, and I was listening to her heartbeat. There were happy memories connected to the scent engrained in my memory, instead of just the memories of how absurdly weak my control was.
Softly, so that she probably couldn't hear, I muttered, "Easier all the time," while releasing her hand from my grasp. Her arm immediately went back to its tight grip around my neck, holding her to my back. I could feel her intensely warm body along every line of my back.
I didn't wait a second longer to spring into the forest, my legs working quickly to carry me – us – through the trees at an incredibly fast speed.
The first time I had run, I had found the experience as strange and alien as everything else about me that had changed. And yet, I had also found solace and peace in the act: I had found running to be my escape.
It really was as symbolic as it sounded. I had never realized that I was running from what I felt until now: I had never realized that not admitting loneliness was another way for me to 'run' from what I felt, not until I had met Bella. My feelings had been denied for so long that I wasn't even entirely certain what I wanted now.
What was it that I desired so badly? What was it that I couldn't name, but felt so strongly that it was already irresistible? I was sure that if I had the time and opportunity to ask, Jasper would be able to tell me what it was without even thinking about it.
Maybe I could figure it out. I pondered it as I leapt over logs and darted around trees. Relationships, I knew a little bit about through observation and common sense. My family members all had very deep relationships, in the romantic sense as well as others.
I knew, also, that people defined the relationship. That what was right and commonly enjoyed by one couple wasn't necessarily what another couple found acceptable. People were all different – and so were vampires.
All this led me to knowing was that I wasn't completely sure what would be normal or fine between Bella and I. I wasn't sure we were on the same page, even now. Whatever the case may be, it all boiled down to many questions I couldn't voice aloud nor answer alone.
My concern was what I was feeling since that was the only thing I could really do something about on my own. Or, not on my own if that was the case: I suddenly realized what one of the desires I had long been suppressing was, my mind flew back to the closeness I had shared with Bella in the meadow.
The image that had come to mind when I was concentrating on one particular feeling was Bella's face, cradled between my palms. She was so breakable, I had been afraid I would hurt her at that moment. But instead of hurting her, she had seemed…if not pleased, at least content.
But it was her face between my hands that was drawing me. It was the sight of her, like that, which made me wish I could do it over again – and this time, instead of listening to her heartbeat with self-torturous gratification…I would be able to lean forward with a different intent in mind.
I was thankful that we had reached the truck by then, as I would have stopped in my tracks had I been running. That was what I desired so strongly? Well, it wasn't exactly a terrifying concept – if, of course, Bella wasn't going to protest against it. I could do that: I had the control for it. By now, if I didn't, Bella would have long since been dead.
"Exhilarating, isn't it?" My mind was half on the anticipation of what I wanted to try, and half on what we had just done.
It took me a moment to realize that she wasn't answering me. Suddenly frightened, I said, "Bella?" Had a branch hit her by mistake? Had I not been paying enough attention? Was she hurt?
The answer came rather quickly now. "I think I need t lie down," she gasped.
I realized what was wrong. The speed – it was far faster than anything she ever could have experienced. And I already knew that she didn't like speeds. I felt a flash of guilt. "Oh, sorry." Again, I waited for her to loosen her tight grip on me.
Instead, we waited for another few minutes before she grudgingly admitted, "I think I need help."
I couldn't help but laugh a little, even as I felt the immense guilt weight down on my shoulders for putting her through that. Why hadn't I thought of her fear of speed before I ran? She hated when I drove over the speed limit, and even that was up to interpretation.
I gently loosened her hold on me, swinging her around and into my arms. For a moment, I considered holding her, just for a minute. But she was rigid and eerily pale, looking slightly sicker than I was expecting. So instead of holding her, in an attempt to comfort, I carefully set her down on the ground. "How do you feel?" I asked.
"Dizzy, I think." She was definitely dazed. I could see that her eyes were unfocused, and she was wobbling even though she was seated.
"Put your head between your knees," I instructed. For a long minute, we sat together and I watched as her breathing calmed, and her heart rate became steadier.
"I guess that wasn't the best idea." My guilt was slowly dissipating, although it was sure to come back at a time when it would be more appropriate for me to dwell. At the moment, however, I was still too full of the excitement that always accompanied my running. I truly enjoyed it, and even while I felt for Bella, I couldn't help being happy – and not just because of the running.
"No, it was very interesting," she protested. Her voice was weak.
"Hah! You're as white as a ghost – no, you're as white as me!" I told her, grimacing to myself at the comparison. I didn't want to think of her being as pale as me: that could only lead to contemplation about the vampire-Bella issue that Alice was certain would come to pass.
"I think I should have closed my eyes."
"Remember that next time," I told her. There would be a next time, I was sure of it. It was impossible to stay away from her, so I would have to see her again. And I was sure that she hadn't just gone on her last run with me.
The thought didn't make her happy. "Next time!"
I laughed again, my hands twitching nervously as I situated myself in front of her, leaning in slightly. I was a bit nervous about this attempt at something…more with Bella. She grumbled, "Show-off."
And I answered quietly, "Open your eyes, Bella." I didn't want to wait any longer than necessary. A different kind of fire was burning in me, and not in my throat.
She obeyed, of course, lifting her head and blinking wide brown eyes. She seemed startled by how close I was, but didn't say anything. Encouraged, I began to try and say something. "I was thinking, while I was running…" Then I stopped. Should I just tell her like that? Plain and straight-out? It didn't feel…right, to say it like that.
"About not hitting the trees, I hope," she interrupted when my pause presented itself.
"Silly Bella," I chuckled. "Running is second nature to me, it's not something I have to think about." It was something I enjoyed, and I used the time while I was doing it to think. What else could I do while I ran?
"Show-off," she muttered again. I had to smile at her childish comments. There was something endearing about them.
It helped ease my nervousness, to smile. But I had to do it now, or risk losing the moment – and my foolhardy determination. "No. I was thinking there was something I wanted to try." And, reaching forward, I took her face between my hands again.
I heard her breathing slow and falter, but I wasn't quite concentrating on that. I was listening to her heart, beating faster at the close proximity, our contact and what she knew I was doing. I was watching her face, seeing her eyes widen with surprise – and seeing not a flicker of anything other than anticipation and excitement.
And I was seeing if I was in control enough to try this. If I had enough strength to keep myself from hurting her as I did something that I was certain could be dangerous – or could be pleasant, if I could just keep a handle on my thirst. I could do this: it was touch, no different than in the meadow. No different than my hands, holding her face securely in place.
Yet, it was so much more different when our lips touched.
Of course, there was the feeling of the rising monster within me that hissed and snarled, as I did nothing more than lightly touch her lips. The monster wanted her blood, wanted me to shift my lips from their current position down to her throat, where I could bite her artery and feel the blood pump into my mouth, my throat. Her heart, feeding me her blood…
I pushed that thought away. It wasn't helping me stop the monster; it was just making my control weaker. Making it harder to stay perfectly stationary. This was only a test, a trial run to see if I could pull this type of headier contact off without causing a fatal accident.
And then, for an instant, there was nothing but the kiss and the sensation of her fiery, heated lips against mine. There was nothing but the knowledge that she hadn't tried to pull away – which I would have felt through my sensitive fingers – and there was nothing but the realization that she had wanted this, too.
Which was only exemplified when, suddenly, Bella was no longer motionless.
Her arms wildly flew around my shoulders, her hands knotting in my hair at a speed that was ridiculous for a human. Suddenly, she was pressing herself to me in a way that was far too tempting in too many ways. And her lips abruptly parted, breathing in but releasing her breath directly into my face: directly under my nose.
It was that scent that pushed too hard and too strongly against the instinct that compelled me to attack her. I had no other choice but to freeze, lock down on my body and try to get a tighter hold on that slippery desire.
At least I had left my hands on her face, which allowed me to push her back. It took much of my control to make sure I didn't use all of my strength. And all I needed was a little space: darting away from her again wouldn't help my control any. It hadn't the first time, and it wouldn't the second.
She opened her eyes as soon as there was a safe distance between us. "Oops," she breathed, her eyes locked with mine.
It took me a moment to respond. "That's an understatement." I felt like I had to say something, apologize however little, for losing control again. At least this time she wasn't frightened – which, in a way, was more worrying. How could she not be scared? At least I was still in control over myself, instead of my instincts manipulating my thoughts.
Bella spoke again. "Should I…?" Her actions belied the end of that sentence, as she began to try and back up. Her hands slipped from my hair.
I didn't move an inch, not even letting her go. We couldn't keep running – and besides, if she pulled away, that would inflame it more. Vampires were designed to enjoy chasing down our prey: we were hunters. Bella, running from me – however little – would only add to my inner battle. "No, it's tolerable. Wait for a moment, please."
I could do this. I had done it before and I would do it again. I grit my teeth and attempted to calm myself. This was Bella, I reminded myself, Bella. I loved her. I wouldn't hurt her, not for a brief moment of respite from a thirst that would exist as long as I did.
And slowly, I was able to collect myself again. It was getting easier each time I did it – which was almost as terrifying as being so addicted to Bella in the first place. But it was part of this complex relationship with her, and that I simply had to accept.
Finally in complete control of myself, again, I found myself grinning in happiness at my success. "There."
"Tolerable?" she asked.
I couldn't help laughing slightly as I told her, "I'm stronger than I thought. It's nice to know." My family had been right: Bella had been right. She was going home alive. We were even by her car, ready to leave. That was something that I had been terrified wouldn't come to pass.
"I wish I could say the same. I'm sorry," she apologized.
I didn't want her to have to apologize, but there was no denying that this time, her actions had made it harder. Instead of allowing her guilt, I teased her to show that it was fine. "You are only human, after all."
"Thanks so much," she grumbled.
Smiling, I finally rose to my feet. The sun was even lower in the sky, now, and we should get on the road so Bella could arrive safely home. Holding out my hand to her where she sat on the ground, I waited for her to take it and pulled her up.
My heart felt so ridiculously light: from running, from being with Bella, from the first kiss – at least, for me it was a first kiss. Wasn't that some kind of milestone? I was too lighthearted to care. "Are you still faint from the run? Or was it my kissing expertise?" I joked, knowing what she didn't know: that was all the 'expertise' I had, unless you counted accidental voyeurism by walking in on my family members far too many times to count.
"I can't be sure, I'm still woozy," she smiled vaguely. "I think it's some of both, though."
"Maybe you should let me drive," I said slyly, hoping that she would agree. I liked being in control of things much more than sitting and letting someone else take charge.
"Are you insane?" was her reply.
"I can drive better than you on your best day," I bragged, too buoyant on good humor to care. "You have much slower reflexes." She couldn't possibly deny that.
She raised an eyebrow, unwilling to admit that I was right on that count. She didn't seem to like being left as a bystander, either, but I could also tell that it was more a matter of pride that she drive, than a longing to be in control. "I'm sure that's true, but I don't think my nerves, or my truck, could take it."
That was her reasoning and denial? I grinned widely at the claim. "Some trust, please, Bella." Knowing that I was cheating, I attempted to lock eyes with her – hoping that the 'dazzling', as she put it, would kick in.
Her lips pursed and her hand drifted to her pocket. I saw her fingers twisted around an object – the key – and she seemed to be debating it. Then, she shook her head. "Nope. Not a chance." My eyebrows shot up. It hadn't worked.
And then she attempted to step around me, heading toward the driver's side of the car. Unfortunately for her, her legs wobbled underneath her, and I saw that she wasn't steady on her feet. She had only stood up in the same spot, after all, and not stepped forward yet.
I slipped my arm around her waist, holding her closely to me. Even if she hadn't wobbled on her feet, I wouldn't have let her get to the car without sabotaging her attempt to start driving. She was still paler than I liked, and I didn't want her to get dizzy while driving.
Leaning towards her, I let my breath drift over her head as I spoke. "Bella, I've already expended a great deal of personal effort at this point to keep you alive. I'm not about to let you behind the wheel of a vehicle when you can't even walk straight." Then, teasingly, I added, "Besides, friends don't let friends drive drunk."
"Drunk?" she questioned skeptically.
"You're intoxicated by my very presence," I smirked. In a way, of course, it was true: I'd noticed her inhale again, drinking in that venom scent that she probably found as irresistible as I found her blood.
"I can't argue with that," she sighed, pouting slightly. She held up the key and dropped it, making me catch it reflexively before it could fall to the forest floor. "Take it easy – my truck is a senior citizen."
"Very sensible," I commented, just about to release my grip on her waist so that she could drag herself to the passenger seat.
Then, seeming miffed, she grumbled, "And are you not affected at all? By my presence?"
There were several answers to that question that came to mind instantly. Of course I was affected: I was still rigidly ignoring the instinct that demanded I drink her blood. But from her question, from the context of our conversation, I knew what answer I wanted to give as soon as the words had left her lips.
Leaning down, I carefully ran my lips along the side of her jaw. I wasn't about to kiss her on the lips again, considering her previous reaction. But this was safe. This, I could handle. And this made Bella tremble at my side, her reaction obviously enjoyment.
And instead of backing away immediately, I moved my lips all the way to her ear in order to murmur, "Regardless, I have better reflexes."