Secrets That Kill
Summary: Bella has been living in Forks all her life. After years of bullying she turns to something that can kill. Later she is diagnosed with anorexia and she cuts daily. She's in the stage of depression. Will the new kids be able to help her out? All human.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters. I just own the plot of this story.
Ages:
Bella – 17
Edward – 17
Emmett – 18
Rosalie – 17
Jasper – 17
Alice – 16
Charlie – 43
Carlisle – 36
Esme - 35
Families:
Swans;
Bella
Charlie
Cullen's;
Carlisle
Esme
Emmett (oldest of the bunch)
Rosalie & Jasper (twins, the next in the family)
Edward (adopted in the family 3 years after the twins were born)
Alice (the youngest of the bunch)
(all of them are Carlisle and Esme's real children apart from Edward)
Bella Swan
The next few weeks passed slowly but comfortingly. Edward and I were communicating and getting on well and it seemed like we were both healing – in some ways. However, it was still so hard and we sometimes felt like giving up.
Esme and Carlisle had dragged us all out to various places since school had finished for the summer. The first week we went to the water park for Emmett's sake. Rose, Edward and I weren't up to going – especially with the cuts – but we managed quite well and no-one noticed Rose and I. Esme however did keep glancing at Edward's thighs when his shorts rose up from the force of the slides and water. He'd tried to ignore it. On the second week we went on a weekend camping trip. We went hiking and Edward and I rolled down the hill, knocking down Rose and Alice who were only halfway up. The whole family had got a few good laughs out of that. We'd also taken part in many outdoor activities – the Cullen's loved the outdoors.
It had been a busy summer.
We'd just got back from a meal with Charlie and everyone was proud of me because I didn't complain and ate half of my main course and all of desert. Yes, I have a sweet tooth. Lately I'd rather eat all the sugary, high calorie stuff than the savory. It was weird, but it felt right not to have Ana screaming at me from inside my head. I was extremely worried though, because it didn't seem possible that I'd gotten over her and was getting better.
Carlisle had been supervising my meds and giving me therapy sessions to help with the emotions I was feeling – it was obvious to him that I had Depression. And, in truth, he really was helping. I guess I owed him a lot.
I knocked on Edward's door quietly and checked the time on my phone. 8:06pm. I didn't know what we could do at this time, but I wanted to make sure he was okay after the meal.
He opened the door to reveal himself standing in his pants and baggy, blue t-shirt. His hair was a mess and he had that crooked grin on his face. It looked like he'd just woken up but he obviously hadn't – he was halfway through changing. "Well hello beautiful, you've caught me at the wrong time. I'm just in the middle of my wonderful hot bubble bath." He joked. "But please come in and my supervisor will lead you to the couch where I will be with you shortly."
I rolled my eyes and walked past him into his dark room. "Yeah, where's the supervisor then?"
"Silly, Bella." He whispered as he pulled me into his chest. "He's invisible. You of all people should know that!"
"Oh yeah!" I said, playing along. "That's right. Silly me. So, do you and he have any plans tonight?"
He pursed his lip and thought about my question. "I don't think so…do you?"
I shook my head. "We could do something…but I'm run down on ideas."
"Me too." He muttered as he ran his hand through his hair.
In the end, we ended up chilling on his bed, talking about life and having rants about what we didn't like. I always loved these times with Edward. He was the person who truly understood me and agreed on what I thought. It was easy to get on well with him and Rose because they just seemed to know how my mind worked.
I fell asleep shortly after, wrapped up in his arms, and I finally felt at home. Edward was something Charlie could never give me.
Esme Cullen
"We need to do something about Edward, Carlisle." I said gently to my husband, turning over to face him.
He stared up at me and flipped his pillow over. "What? Why? What about?"
I sighed. Carlisle could be so difficult to handle sometimes. "Don't act as if you haven't noticed…"
"Noticed what?" He sat up on the bed and looked at me. "Esme?"
I looked at his face, knowing that he really didn't see anything wrong with Edward. "He cries himself to sleep at night." I muttered. "I walk past his room to turn off Emmett's light – he always forgets to do it himself – and I can hear him crying. I want to reach out to him and talk to him but I don't know how. And even though he looks happy during the day I can see through him. He's not. Sometimes it's genuine but most times…he just doesn't seem himself. Can't you remember the old Edward?"
Carlisle pondered on my words, rubbing soothing circles into my palm. "Yes…now that you mention it…he does seem different. A lot more closed off and dark. We need to do something…"
I nodded in agreement, listening to the silence, hoping Edward wasn't crying. It seemed as if he was asleep.
He sighed. "When did our life become so difficult…?"
"Rose…" I whispered, remembering all too clearly the battle she fought all those months ago. "Carlisle, we need to have a talk with the children, we need to show them we care."
He nodded and placed a tender kiss on my forehead. "We will. Now go to sleep. I love you."
"I love you too."
The next morning, I got out of bed and made my way down to the kitchen to find Bella and Edward sat there, staring quietly at their cereal. "Are you both alright this morning?"
"Yup." They both agreed, shoving a spoonful of the 'Froot Loops' into their mouths.
This time, I wasn't taking that for an answer. I sat down opposite them and stared them down.
Edward looked up at me first, confusion flashing in his eyes before they returned to their blank state. "Mom?"
"Are you okay, Edward?" I asked. I didn't know how to get into it. I was beyond nervous. No mother ever thinks of their child feeling low. They just want the best.
"You just asked me that…" He shot a panicked look towards Bella and I brought his attention back to me.
"I know, but I'm asking again. I don't want you to lie, Edward." I murmured softly. "Please…just tell me…"
He sighed and stared down at the counter-top. "No…I'm not okay."
My heart was breaking but I urged myself on. "Why not, Edward? I can help, I'm your mother."
He shook his head. "You can't mom. I really am happier than I was months ago but I'm still feeling hopeless and hurt. I don't even know why."
I rounded the table and pulled him into my arms. "I don't care Edward, I can help. I can. You know you can come and speak with me. We're so, so sorry. I noticed something was wrong but I just ignored it. Your father and I are both sorry, and we're going to fix this family again."
He looked up to me and smiled gently. "That would be nice…we aren't as close anymore."
"No," I agreed, feeling very guilty for that.
When they both finished their breakfast, I took them both up to Carlisle's office where we went through a plan to help both Bella and Edward.
The end of August came around quickly, and I watched my 5 children (6 including Bella) run out of the front door and onto the school bus. Edward helped Bella up, both of them giggling like little kids. Rosalie caught my eye and gave me a big smile whilst Emmett, Jasper and Alice were debating over something I was sure had something to do with the latest fashion or sport.
Carlisle had put both Bella and Edward on antidepressants and gave them therapy 2 times a week. Edward had started to open up to us a lot, even giving us the 'tools' he used to hurt himself with. As each day came, our family became even closer and both Edward and Bella seemed to be all too eager to share their thoughts and worries about the day and the future ahead of them.
Rose seemed to also come out of her shell. She'd approached me in the garden one day whilst I was doing the washing and asked if I could stop and speak to her for the moment.
She'd went on to tell me how life was like for her trying to stay healthy and not think about the Anorexia, and that she was convinced there was something deep inside her that was controlling her and making her seem different to everyone else. I assured her that everything was probably fine but to keep her content, I scheduled an appointment the next day to see a mental health team who spent a few hours of their time speaking to Rose and then carrying out a few health evaluations.
She was referred to a psychiatrist who spent a few weeks talking with her and discussing how she felt. She was then later diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (or BPD) and Moderate Depression. She took the news hard, falling into me and crying in a fit of tears, but after setting out a treatment plan she seemed to take the news a little better. She was put into Dialectical Behavior Therapy, and given mood stabilizers and antidepressants.
Our family wasn't perfect, and we may have had the odd mishaps in life, but our children were healthy and generally happy and that's all that truly mattered.
I believed that in a year or two, we would all be healed.
Sorry that this is so bad, I'm just struggling a little to get these last chapters sorted and how it's going to plan out. Bear with me. And I've decided I will make a sequel, but need your guys help on a name! I was thinking 'Secrets that heal' but I'm not too sure.
Thank you so very much for all the support, favorites, reviews, story alerts, favorite author. It all means so very much to me and helps me to continue this story – and my others – to the best that I can!
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