"I'll tell you my life's story, but on one condition. What I tell you today will never leave this room. You will not interrupt, and you will keep your judgments to yourself, when I am done, I will keep my end of the bargain regarding the case, and you will probably leave and not speak to me again."
"The last part is not likely, but okay, start from the beginning."
"I grew up in New York…"
"Seriously?"
"Yes, didn't you promise not to interrupt?"
"Sorry."
"Anyway, my adoptive parents, Aunt Viv's brother, was a wealthy man, but stingy, even though his wife, Marie doted on me as a little boy, he wasn't going to share his fortune with an adopted brat. I associated money with power since I was very small, by the time I was 12, I was what today can be called a petty thief. I was ashamed of never having money, when the whole world new that my father was affluent, a third generation rich business man, coming from what the upper east side liked to call "old money." Oh, yes, I went to a private boarding school, but that was to keep me out of his way. That was the way it was done."
"Oh please, I had parents who loved me and I was still carted off to a private boarding school…"
"Yes, but you had an allowance, I did not. In fact, I had to wear a second-hand uniform. You know…" he stares off in the distance, leaving his story as he voices his thoughts, "criminals are people too, even your biggest crime boss had a reason for getting into the biz. So you grow up without a moral filter and you end up losing your conscience along the way. It can happen to anyone…"
He grows quiet, lost in thought.
"That doesn't seem so bad." Hope offers.
John comes back to reality, and looks at Hope.
"Do you know why me and Gina were so perfect?"
Hope looks surprised at the change of topic…
"You loved each other…" she offers, he cuts her off, shaking his head.
"We were each other. It was easy to fall in love, and perhaps the excitement of the heists fueled our desires even more, brought an element of danger as an aphrodisiac, but before lust and passion and love could follow, there was acceptance. She had no conscience and she couldn't judge my lack of one."
Hope is silent, she doesn't know what to say. She had an idea what their relationship was like from what he told her back in 2001, and she had a couple of Gina's lingering memories, but he put it into perspective. She always thought that his relationship with Gina was orchestrated by Stefano, that John was being controlled by him, that all the bad things he did was because he was brainwashed, and that that is the reason he could be with a woman like that.
"How did you end up working for Stefano?"
"Hmmm, old Steffi, you know I trusted him with my life. He was a couple of years older than me, I knew him by reputation, the crime lord, Santo dimera's son, revered in the underground of crime in New York city back then. Yes, he was in New York for quite a long time, although as I understand, Stefano was born to his Italian father, in Ireland… If I knew back then that Santo's was my father… I would probably have been very keen to take up my rightful place in the business… Anyway, by the time I orchestrated a chance meeting with Stefano, I had a pretty good reputation in my own right. You want something stolen, get hold of old Forrest, he'll make it disappear and reappear in your hands before the owner even knew it was missing. That was what they used to say. Off course when me and Stefano met, we hit it off right away, he saw potential in me, and I saw my way to fame in him. I convinced him to take me on as a trainee assassin, I was tired with burglary, I had mastered it, it was time to graduate and move on."
"My God, John."
"He never controlled me. I wasn't joking when I said that."
"How many people did you kill?"
"I lost count, probably a couple of thousand… There was this one time, at the Duke of Arlington's ball while Gina was stealing the first Renet, that the Duke's son walked in on the safe as she was busy. I snapped his neck before he could make a sound, and dumped him into the well at the back of the house. Two years ago, it was all over the papers that the Duke's missing son's body was found in the family well, and that his father was being investigated for the murder. At the time, I didn't follow the story well, as I had no idea of my involvement, so what had happened to the old man, I don't know."
Hope feel a chill going down her spine as she listens to John, wondering why he is telling her in such detail. Is it a warning not to cross him? Not to tell anyone? Or does he really need to get it off his chest, out of his conscience. She looks closer at him ,but see no guilt or remorse. At that moment John remembers her presence and he turns his head to her. Their eyes lock. Hope feels another chill as she doesn't recognize her John in his eyes.
"Are you cold? Do you want some coffee? I can call room service?" he asks, seeing her shiver, and at the last minute deciding not to put his hand on her upper arm.
"Um…" Hope feels as if she is sitting with a stranger in a hotel room, where no-one even knows she is, and suddenly she feel a little fearful. Peering over at John, she decides to just forge ahead, he needs her. Without her, he'll go down right along with Stefano, although that doesn't sound like such a bad idea right about now. "Do you have some sherry?"
"Always."
He hands her, her glass after pouring, then asks.
"Would you mind if I smoked?"
She surprises herself by replying.
"I think I need a drag myself."
John lifts an eyebrow, but doesn't comment, as she pulls her bag closer, and starts scratching through it. After the third time of catching herself having a midnight smoke, she fetched the packet from Gina's hiding spot and dumped it in her bag, meaning to throw it out, somewhere far away from home. She never did, she forgot. Now, she feels grateful, as she lights up, appreciating the burning in her throat, that isn't use to the feel of it. She gives a cough from the scratching, then takes another drag with no cough…
John takes a surprised drag from his cigar.
Hope takes another sip from her sherry, and remarks.
"I underestimated the calming power of nicotine." Then turning to face him, sitting on his new favorite spot in the window sill, she asks: "Why are you telling me all this? Why so much detail? Why… What are you trying to tell me?" She takes another drag, then asks the question she really wants to ask. "Are you threatening to kill me if I tell anyone?"
John chuckles.
"Do you really think that?" then the humor leaves his face, and it becomes haunted. "No Hope, I am telling you because I need a friend, a friend who will accept me as I am, a friend who could live with what I am… and even though I can't imagine you being remotely fine with all this, I impulsively thought that you could…." He shakes his head not finishing his sentence… Then hardening his heart at the inevitable rejection, he tells her what he wants her to know. "I am not Roman, Hope, and all that crap that he believes that was brainwashed into me, is gone, it's replaced with me. I am finally the man I was born, and that will not change, my little dallying with morality because of Stefano, is not going to turn me into a good guy. I am not the good guy type, and I don't want to be. It's not in my blood…"
As Hope stubs out a cigarette, she remembers something John said years ago on the submarine…
"I'm tired of playing good guys, it's hard enough pretending to be father John… I wanna be bad, I wanna be bad with you…" she blinks away the passion that followed. Then she looks at him, and realizes, that if she felt nervous around roboJohn, this is even worse. In front of her is the man that made love to her on the submarine.