This is officially 10 chapters till the end! Enjoy the introduction to the final arc. =3

Warnings: Suicidal ideation, cult material, abuse aftermath, flashbacks

Chapter 26

—T—

I was beginning to acclimate to the barely-conscious haze that passed for sleep in the days since our return from the compound. It had the same feeling as accidentally falling into a light doze—a kind of half-weightless, half-soundless landscape of pastel gray and black. Only, in this case, I could faintly make out distant phantom voices murmuring in the background.

Then, after who-knew-how-long since I'd laid down to sleep, the grating, metallic twist of a doorknob intruded on the background hum. Suspended on the edge of wakefulness, I hardly registered Dawn's now-familiar restless squirming. Sleep called me back to the shadow world, cradling me in the soft arms of darkness…

Until another eerie wooden creak and the sense of something standing over me shattered the illusion.

My body instinctively rocketed awake. A small gasp of terror caught in my throat as I levered myself up on my arms, bleary eyes locking on the tall shadow filling the equally-dark doorway of my room.

Michael.

In the space of a blink and another strangled inhalation—I couldn't have made an actual sound if I'd tried—the shadow disappeared. Instantly awake, now, I gulped down air and trembled like a quaking aspen. My heart galloped at triple time and threatened to leap from my chest like a horse over the jumps at a four-star event.

There hadn't been enough light to know for sure what that—that thing had been. Michael had simply been the first possibility that came to mind. Was it even human? Had he sent some youja after me, and it had finally caught up? What if it still lurked just outside my door? What if it was simply waiting for me to turn my back so it could finish me off?

I had been totally vulnerable in my sleep. A sitting duck. The others would have heard me scream—if I even could have—but been too late to do anything about it.

Dawn's nagging finally caught up with my foggy brain. She sensed no youja; only the other Ronin armors lingered nearby.

I was still safe.

I shook away the frantic thoughts and swallowed, letting my trembling arms lower my torso back to the mattress. In an attempt to force my body from its lingering terror-paralysis, I buried my face in my pillow and took deep, slow breaths.

'He's not coming back for me. I'm safe. He'll never touch you again.'

As much as I tried to convince myself of that, however, deep down I didn't dare let myself believe it.

The floor in the hall creaked—that one plank between my door and my brother's I knew to skip over on late-night trips to the bathroom. The panic I had almost managed to tamp down resurfaced, but only for a few seconds. A quick check of the area with Dawn revealed Strata apparently awake, its bearer standing in the hall.

I sat up carefully; seconds passed in silence, suggesting he hadn't moved. Hesitantly, I reached out to him. "Rowen?"

The armor withdrew a fraction. When he moved back into the guys' room without responding, I slipped out from under the covers to follow.

I paused and frowned when I realized how flatly the comforter fell to the mattress. I glanced back.

Alexa was gone. Dusk's light illuminated the slight curl of paper nestled beneath its flat face.

A different kind of horror caused my heart to leap into my throat, immediately recognizing the letter for what it was.

Strata's powers unwound that knot before it could do more than jolt me with a shot of adrenaline. "It's okay, she's fine. I'm watching her."

"Where is she?" I asked too quickly.

"Not far," he soothed. "Just the barn. She wanted to watch the fireflies."

Stretching Dawn in that direction confirmed his statement. The moment I did, Alexa's remorse washed over me, with a faint nudge to check the note she'd left. Doing so reinforced what Rowen had already told me—she simply wanted to go for a walk.

I exhaled softly. Even with that worry put to rest, though, there was still no way I'd be able to fall back asleep. Visions of Michael's leering visage lingered ghostlike in the back of my mind. Rubbing my face in some attempt at smearing the images into oblivion, I got to my feet and scooped Dawn off the bedside table.

Forgoing shoes, I tiptoed out into the gentle blanket of a moonless summer night. Spring peepers croaked from the pastures in cadence to the silent fireflies' twinkling. Dozens of miles away, a midnight thunderstorm rumbled; but where I stood, the air was smooth and quiet like the mirror surface of a placid lake.

Until a tiny breeze tickled the back of my neck—an oddly familiar breath of air. I had chalked it up to the oncoming storm, but then it twisted through my hair enough to lift a thick strand away from my forehead almost…playfully.

"What…?"

I glanced back over my shoulder and up at the roof. With a start, I realized the smooth shingles' silhouette sported an extra shape to the far slope.

"Rowen…?" I called cautiously—both wary from my unpleasant awakening and conscious of my slumbering parents through the window directly below.

The dark gray blob shifted, peering out over the edge. "You're still up?"

I sighed and felt my body relax just a little more. Folding my arms over my chest and looking out toward the barn again, I admitted. "Not sure I could fall asleep if I tried…" I frowned at how morose that sounded, and turned the question back at him. "What are you doing up there, anyway? I thought you were watching Alexa."

"I am," he retorted, laying back flat on the shingles again. "From up here. It's…"

He didn't finish the partial thought, trailing off into silence like he couldn't decide how to word it. Something in his tone had changed, sounding haunted and uncertain. I was reminded of the car ride back from Pennsylvania only a few days ago. Concerned, I figured it couldn't hurt to try and join him on his lofty perch.

If I could figure out how, anyway…

A few seconds concentrating on Dawn's energies successfully brought up the shimmering green barrier that served as her subarmor. Deciding that should be enough for what I was about to attempt, I coiled my legs in preparation.

Rowen peered over the edge of the roof warily. "What are you doing?"

To answer that, I simply pushed off against the porch and jumped as high as I could…which was far, far higher than I had expected, even knowing the armor would augment it. I'd definitely overestimated that boost, though. While I'd hoped to land on my feet, at this rate I wasn't even gonna clear the gutter. My fingers stretched out for a hold—

A firm hand locked around my wrist, arresting my downward motion before I could fall back to the porch.

Rowen hauled me onto the roof beside him, not releasing my hand until I had settled myself securely and Dawn faded back to her half-orb. "What were you thinking? You could have broken your neck!" he hissed.

"What?" I shot back. "I was tired of whisper-yelling at you from two stories down. Had to get up here somehow; just figured I'd do what you did."

"I did not use Strata. I—" He paused abruptly, snapped his mouth shut for a long moment, then finally admitted, "I…climbed through the window."

I stared. And blinked.

"What? Sage didn't tell you about my climbing and parkour addiction?"

Setting my hands on my hips, I retorted, "It's not like he gave me a whole primer about each and every one of you. What does he look like, an FBI profiler?"

Rowen snorted, looking away from me. "He sure acts like it, some days."

I sighed at the bitterness in his tone, reining in my irritation. He had only been looking out for my well-being—the same way he'd done in the cult compound. In light of that, he definitely didn't deserve my anger.

"Look…I didn't nearly break my neck getting up here to talk about Sage," I said slowly. I tucked my knees closer to my chest against a chill breeze, wrapping my arms around them. "You seemed like you could use a listening ear. So…here I am."

He remained silent, watching the trees that screened my parents' property from our closest neighbors. I gave him time to think and stared out across the largest pasture. One of the horses punctuated the amphibious symphony with a sleepy snort. Somewhere in the woods behind them a few minutes later, a fox screamed.

A shudder ran down my spine at the eerie sound. A sound like the scream of a young child.

"I'm so sorry," Rowen murmured, looking down at his hands. "For…what happened in the cult."

I smiled thinly. "None of it was your fault, Rowen." I rested my chin on my knees, eyes settling on the hulking shadow of the barn and the tiny human shape sitting under its overhang. "None of it would have happened if I'd just listened to Alexa and the rest of you…"

He shrugged. "It was an honest mistake. We all think we're so smart we can ignore our base instincts. But in so many ways, those are the only thing that keep us alive in the end. Unless we had listened to those, and paid closer attention to the armors, we couldn't have known what Michael really was."

I hid my face in the crook of my arm guiltily. "Alexa seemed to know. She warned me, so many times… Not. About him being in the cult, obviously, but…all the red flags…"

In hindsight, it all seemed so clear.

'How could I have been so stupid?'

The vision of his imagined silhouette looming in the doorway filled my mind's eye. I inhaled shakily, trying to control the terror and horror that threatened to return with overwhelming force if I wasn't careful. Dawn's half-sphere glowed softly, reassuringly.

A hand on my shoulder grounded me in reality. I peeked over my arm and met Rowen's eyes, dark as the night around me without any moonlight to reflect. "We will do whatever we can to stop him, and your mom. This is our fight as much as it is yours."

I blinked, then gave a watery chuckle and rubbed at one eye. "Here I came up to comfort you, and instead it's the other way around."

He looked toward the barn. "You two have been through a lot in only a week."

Taking a breath to steel myself, I straightened and laid my hand over his on my shoulder. "So have you," I murmured.

His posture stiffened a fraction; though he didn't face me, he also didn't remove his hand from mine. After a long moment, he replied, "It's…nothing, after what we went through in the War."

I wasn't sure I could buy that. Sage and the others had mentioned hints of what that had meant, but the way Rowen's armor had reacted to everything… And then his silence on the ride home…

"Rowen…please. Talk to me."

Only the toads' croaking met my plea. His hand slid carefully from my shoulder, returning to his lap; a moment later, his other hand produced a sphere dimly glowing with emerald light.

…Halo's armor orb?

Though dying to ask why he had Halo and not Strata, I recalled Sage loaning it to me once and kept respectfully silent. For all I knew, maybe Strata was in one of his pockets like Halo had been.

Instead, I watched Rowen. The downward curve of his brow; the sweep of the forelock constantly falling into his eyes; those eyes, which I had seen sparkle with constellations, now like a black hole even with Halo's glow; his…bare chest…

'Damn.'

I swallowed self-consciously and looked away, closing my eyes.

"I… I can't ask you to…forgive me, for what happened," Rowen finally said.

A wash of empathy swept over my heart, so much that I ached to comfort him. Twisting to face him directly, I replied, "Of course you can. Just like none of it was my fault, none of it was yours, either. The cult—"

"We're responsible for your safety," he snapped, voice strained with desperation and other emotions I couldn't place. His hand tightened around Halo. "If I hadn't lost control, they wouldn't have been able to shoot you. I… T-They got in my head, they overwhelmed Tenku with youja and stole my strength. I—I couldn't, I… I was helpless to stop any of it." His breath shuddered, when he inhaled. "I don't even remember what Tenku did, just…all the youja, and then…you…"

I worried my lower lip between my teeth, gears in my mind turning over his words. I thought of the little black book Kayura had given us, how it described the relationship between Balance and the other nine armors. The fear Kaos had had of this exact problem happening. Our role as protectors of the others.

So far, everyone else had had to do the protecting.

Except when Rowen had needed it the most. When the armor could have caused him to kill…somehow, I'd been able to stop the unthinkable from happening. For once, I'd been able to fulfill a purpose; that purpose. As responsible as they might feel for Alexa's and my safety, that was what we were meant to do.

Despite the guilt for putting him—putting all of them—through that sort of scare…I was proud of that. We had learned so much from such awful experiences. And we'd been able to contribute to the fight, instead of playing the mere Damsels in Distress.

Maybe…maybe we could do this, terrified as we all were of the potential outcomes.

Rowen continued again, taking my silence as…well, something. "I know there's…nothing I could ever do to make this failure up to you. All I can do is say sorry, but…"

I shook my head and scooted closer to properly lay my arm across his broad shoulders. "I'm not asking you to. If it helps you to hear me say it, even though I don't feel there's anything you did that needs forgiveness, I'll gladly give it." I offered him a tiny smile despite not knowing if he could see it. "You came after me when no one else could. That's nothing like a failure at all, in my book." The smile fell away. "If…you hadn't followed… I'm not sure we'd be here talking about this right now."

A strong gust blew past the roof, ruffling our hair and throwing loose strands into my eyes that I clawed away irritably.

Rowen's breathing grew shallow, voice hardly above a whisper. "When… W-When he took you, I—I just couldn't do nothing. And when they hurt you… When I heard you scream…"

I didn't get the chance to respond to that; he paused only briefly, then rested his forehead on his knees and laughed darkly. "Kento…said the cult seals would make everything feel so much more intense, for a while. But I never thought…"

"It'd be this bad?" I finished quietly. "Yeah… Me neither."

I wasn't quite sure I was over the effects of the one that had sealed my wound, either. Even now, it still ached faintly, if I paid attention to it. And Rowen was dealing with the effects of three.

Another thought crossed my mind, then. I slowly pulled my hand away, laying it on my opposite bicep sheepishly. "I…don't think I've actually, properly thanked you, yet. For coming after me." When curious midnight-blue eyes turned on me, I looked away. "If it weren't for you, I'm not sure I could have even hoped to escape."

In the drawn-out silence that followed, I wondered if I had said something wrong.

Then his cool palm—calloused, I noticed, probably from archery practice and parkour—cradled my cheek.

Was it just me, or had the night's temperature risen five degrees without my notice? Despite wearing only a tanktop and some old middle school gym shorts, my skin felt sticky and warm.

"Honestly, I should be the one thanking you," he murmured. "If…you hadn't stopped Tenku when you did, I…" He breathed deeply. "I…might've lost myself in the armor."

I swallowed, trying not to meet his eyes. This close beside him, I felt utterly tiny. My heart drummed loud in my ears. "Y—You mentioned that. In Toronto."

There was a surprised pause. "You remembered."

I didn't know how he hadn't pulled his hand back yet, considering my burning face. Even Ryo probably would have felt the heat. "W-Well, it took awhile, but…yeah. And, seeing it…actually happening…" I tucked a stray lock of hair behind an ear. "I couldn't leave you in that state… Not with…him blaming you for our break up."

His hand finally fell away. "He…what?"

Lacing my fingers together and fiddling with them, I explained, "You…talking to me, at the barbeque, made him jealous. And angry. He thought…I…was cheating on him."

I watched Rowen's reaction anxiously, bracing for an outburst or a rant of some kind. His brows pinched together, a frown twisting his lips—but what I expected never came. "Some people simply cannot be reasoned with, no matter how much evidence there is otherwise."

I chuckled nervously. "Don't have to tell me twice…"

It only reminded me that this wasn't over.

My nightmarish experience from earlier wrapped a ghostly hand around my throat. I rubbed my neck and hugged my legs to my chest again in an attempt to stave off the feeling.

I stiffened briefly when a bare arm looped lightly around my shoulders.

'It's only Rowen,' I reminded myself. I consciously forced my muscles to unwind, hoping he hadn't noticed the involuntary reaction.

"I…don't think I can promise he won't show up again," he murmured. "And I…know I can't promise he absolutely won't do something to hurt you. But I can promise that I will do everything in my power to prevent it."

His sincerity drew my gaze up to his face, pausing on the gentle curve of his upturned lips and then settling on the starlight and armor-light reflected in his eyes. My ribs ached from my heart pressing against it, but…it wasn't fluttering like a bird in a cage the same way it had with Michael.

I…didn't mind Rowen's arm around me. Since I had relaxed, I even found myself leaning into him just the littlest bit. And now that I thought about it, I couldn't remember the last time Michael had—if ever—held me like this.

I hesitantly allowed my head to rest against the curve of his shoulder. "Arigato, Ro-niichan."

His cheek rested against my head, and I felt him smile.

Yeah. This was…nice.

A wide, loud yawn caught me off-guard. Rowen's chest rumbled with a quiet laugh as I rubbed my eyes and ducked my head sheepishly. "Maybe you should go back to sleep, now."

Recalling why I had stepped out in the first place, I curled my fingers around Dawn and stubbornly shook my head. "Not 'til Alexa comes in."

He raised an eyebrow at that. "Are you sure? It might be a while…"

I nodded emphatically—then poked the hand holding Halo. "And no using Strata as an excuse to send me inside, Mr. Sandman."

He lifted it appeasingly. "Hey, I'm not quite one hundred percent in control of that particular power yet. It's more of an area of effect type deal."

"Mmhm… Sure," I replied, narrowing my eyes and raising a brow at him.

He rolled the little orb between his fingers, watching the twisting crystal cast rainbow fractals. "I promise neither of us will go inside before Alexa." He looked down at me. "Is that acceptable?"

I nodded, eyelids sliding shut and open again in a slow blink.

He smiled, his hand squeezing my arm comfortably.

With my watch and phone both left inside, the night—early morning, really, that period known as zero-dark-thirty—dragged on infinitesimally slow. My head sagged a couple times, eyelashes grazing my cheek for brief seconds before my hair or ear brushing Rowen's chest would startle me back into at least partial wakefulness. Somewhere in there, I recognized the rough asphalt-like texture of shingling under my back and side. My brain had stopped thinking about the implications of such things long before, however.

The last sensations I could recall were Halo's faint glow, warm skin under my cheek, and a slow, steady heartbeat in my ear.