Sitting in a cell without your head attached to your shoulders can be quite boring. You can't move at all, you can't even change the view. I'd been staring at the same patch of wall for so long that I could tell you how many cracks marked the wall. 1638. There were 1638 cracks marking the small patch of wall I could see. It's a wonder the building hasn't collapsed.

Footsteps alerted me to the presence of shinobi.

"You look really pathetic like that you know."

I stayed quiet, unwilling to dignify the comment with a response.

"Did you want a change of view?"

Still I stayed silent, though I longed for a change of view almost as much as I longed to gnaw Kakashi's legs off, the dick.

"Alright then, your choice. I just thought you should know that the medic shinobi are looking over your body, trying to find its secret. I must say, it's been very interesting."

If I could have shuddered, I would have. As I was, I couldn't even bite the bastard. He walked closer, the vibrations from his footsteps causing my teeth to chatter slightly. Lifting me by my hair, he stared down at me, grinning. I spat in his face. Scowling, he swung my head against the wall.

"You little bitch. I'm going to make you regret ever seeing this village!"

"Oh I doubt that very much."

"What-" The shinobi dropped to the floor, body writhing in a pool of his own blood.

"Fuck Kanna, you look fucking pathetic."

"Shut up you dick. Just get me to my body."

"Alright, fine. Just one thing." He picked me up and kissed me. Pulling away, he grinned at me. "It's been way too quiet without you."

"You fucker! You just took advantage of me! When I get my body back I'm gonna fucking kill you!"

"Nice to see you too. Now where is your body?"

"That dead prick over there said the medics were studying it. So I guess the hospital would be a starting point."

Hidan raced through the doorway, my head in his arms. He cackled maniacally, and I joined him, ready to take on the village again. I just needed to get my body back first. We managed to find the hospital fairly quickly, and raced through the building. But my body wasn't there.

"Maybe it's in the headquarters of the village, the Hokage is a medical shinobi. Plus, the intelligence department would want to look into this too."

"Great idea fucker. You didn't mention this earlier because…?"

"How was I supposed to know you're such a fucking idiot?"

Hidan sprinted towards the Leaf shinobi headquarters, grinning madly. I couldn't help myself, I laughed ecstatically. We were heading into what would be certain doom for any mortal shinobi.

"Hey! Stop-" The Jōnin guarding the entrance collapsed, writhing in agony.

"Damn, I wanted to do that. Hey, what happened to Ibiki?"

"He ran through the village screaming like a little girl while Usagichiku chased him. Once she disappeared, I'm assuming that's about when you lost your head, he vanished. They found him a few hours later curled up in a dark corner, muttering and crying. I think you broke him."

"Fuck, I didn't get to see it. Still, at least we achieved something."

"Fuck yeah! It's too bad you missed it, it was fucking awesome."

Running through the halls of the village headquarters, we flashed past a door.

"Stop! I think that was my body you just ran past!"

Hidan skidded to a halt and backtracked. Walking into a room, I saw my body on a table, with shinobi surrounding it in white coats and masks.

"Wow, déjà vu much."

The shinobi looked up when they heard this, and panicked. Hidan strolled in, swinging his scythe from side to side. Blood splashed across the walls and painted the floor. Even the ceiling got splattered, and blood dripped down from the ceiling in small droplets. The picture was quite pretty, really.

"Here." Hidan shoved my head onto my neck and began to sew. His stitches were ugly and jagged, and he clearly didn't know how to sew.

"It's a good thing this will heal itself. You fucking suck."

"Shut up. I always had Kakuzu to do this for me. Well, after I joined the Akatsuki anyway. Before that I just fucking managed. All you have to do is fucking deal with it."

Head sewed back on and healed, I stood and stretched.

"It's so good to be able to move again. How about a killing spree on the way out?"

"Fuck yeah!"

Hidan and I left, a bright scarlet trail of death and destruction marking our passage.

AN- Woo! More death and destruction! I'm thinking of finishing this story soon, but I have no idea how. I'd kill them off, but they're immortal. Hmm, what to do... Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Jashin knows I loved writing it. Thanks to everyone who's reviewed this story so far! Please keep doing so! REVEIW! Or Hidan will turn you into art! Those poor medics.