July twenty-eighth - Three Days Before the Wedding
James woke up in morning with a stomach filled with butterflies. He knew that this was the day that Sirius and Remus were planning to take him out for his bachelor party. He got up and dressed, and then went downstairs to see if there was any breakfast made. Lily was sitting down at the table with a strange thing in front of her. It was like a book turned on its side, and it looked like a kind of Muggle machine.
"What is that?"
"Laptop," Lily muttered, and she began to click the small keys at the bottom.
"What?"
"It's a Muggle computer -" Lily started but James shook his head.
"Say no more!"
Lily smiled. "We got an owl from your father. He wants you to stay at his house for the next two days - until the wedding."
"Great!"
"And I've had a little chat with Sirius and Remus to make sure they don't do anything too wild tonight," Lily said, still pecking away at the keys.
"You're not - worried, are you Lil?" James said sarcastically.
"Don't be silly! I trust you... and Remus a little bit, but Sirius? Hell no!"
James laughed and went into the living room where he found Sirius laying on the couch with his feet on the coffee table, watching TV.
"I thought you had a house!" James said. "Get up - let's go have something to eat!"
"I can't be arsed," Sirius muttered, still staring at the TV. "Bring me something if you do."
"Well... I think I'm going to go and help my dad with that potion he's been trying... I might be there all night," James tried and it work. He sat up and pulled out his wand and conjured a large breakfast for James.
"Eat up," Sirius muttered. "You're not going anywhere!"
James sighed and sat down. "Where are we going tonight?"
"That's for me to know and for you to find out, my unfortunate friend!"
Hours later around ten o'clock...
James packed the last of his things into his trunk and settled it by the front door. He turned around and jumped - Sirius and Remus were standing in front of him. They were both sharing the same evil grin and had their hands behind their backs.
"Whatcha got there?" James asked, a definite note of panic in his voice. James had about three seconds to see that Sirius had a length of rope and Remus had a blindfold before they had tackled him and used their tools. Once he was blind and unable to use his hands, they both grabbed on of his arms and Disapparated. James felt his feet slam to the ground and the sounds around him were magnified. He could hear plenty of people around him.
"Where are we?" James muttered as Sirius and Remus led him into a building.
"Hogsmeade." Sirius and Remus led James, who was still blindfolded, into the Hog's Head. They sat him down at a table and ordered a round of mead.
"Can I take off the blindfold now?" James asked, searching the table for the handle on his tankard.
"Yeah, I guess so. But it's going back on when we leave. We just want to make sure you're good and drunk by then..." Sirius said and he pulled the blindfold off.
"Sirius..." Remus whispered. "Three hot babes at two o'clock..."
Sirius turned casually in his seat and saw the table Remus was referring to. James turned his attention to the table that Sirius and Remus were both gaping at.
There were three girls. One with long blonde hair and ice blue eyes; another with curly auburn hair and a deep tan, and the last girl had black hair and a captivating smile.
"What do you say?" Sirius asked James without lifting his stare.
"About what?"
"What - are you blind?" Remus asked.
"You guys! I'm getting married in three days! I shouldn't even be looking -" James started.
"This is what a bachelor party is about, my unfortunate friend. This'll be the last time you can even look at another women! C'mon - we'll spill the whole deal so there's no mistaking!" Sirius said.
"The answer is -" James started but was interrupted.
"Excuse me?"
It was one of the girls from the table, the blonde, and she was talking to James.
"Er - yes?"
"Hi! Umm... I was just sitting over there and my friends are both agreeing that you are the cutest thing they've ever seen. Would you three like to join us?" she asked. She caught the eye of Sirius and smiled. Remus and Sirius were both staring at James with their mouths hanging open.
"Er -" James started, but he was interrupted again.
"Actually," Sirius said, jumping up, "we'd love to. My friend is getting married in three days and tonight is his bachelor party - we'd love to endure the company of three fine ladies.
The girl smiled and led them over to the table.
"I'm Darlene," the blonde said. "This is Krystle -" she pointed to the curly auburn haired girl, "-and this is Adriana."
Krystle and Adriana both smiled.
"I'm Sirius," Sirius said boldly, "and this is Remus and James."
"James is on his bachelor party tonight," Darlene said to her friends. "You guys interested in us taking you out for the night?"
"Sure thing!" Sirius said to the girls before James could object.
"Great! What are you interested in?" Krystle asked.
"Truth be told, we were going to take James to a strip club. But - we have no idea where a good one is. You ladies know any places to interest our little buddy?" Remus asked.
The girls giggled. "I have a place in mind," Darlene said. "But it'll be a surprise for James. And another thing - it's a Muggle place, so we'll have to exchange some money. You boys up for a treat?"
"Definitely!" Sirius said. He grabbed the blindfold out of his pocket and shoved it back over James's eyes.
"Alright - we'll Apparate to the alley behind it. You guys hold onto James and follow us," Darlene said. She led the boys into a corner in the bar and James felt the guys jerk him forward and go zooming to wherever they were taking him.
"Alright, James... Right this way..." James heard Adriana say. She grabbed his arm and led him through a doorway.
James heard Sirius and Remus explode with laughter behind him. There was exotic music playing, and the smell of smoke was fresh.
"Where are we?" James asked.
"Welcome to..." Adriana ripped off the blindfold, "the Kitty Club!"
James's mouth dropped. The walls of the room they had entered were leopard-print, and there were about twenty circular tables surrounding a stage lit up with neon lights. There were girls dancing on the stage dressed up as cats, all stripping, and there were also more costumed girls serving the men at the tables.
"So..." Remus said, rubbing his hands together, "Are you girls regulars here?"
Darlene laughed. "Nope. Krystle works here - only a waitress," she added, seeing the look on Sirius's face.
"We come here every now and then..." Darlene continued. "We're friends with a lot of the guys who come here a lot."
"I've got to start waitressing in an hour," Krystle said, "so we can just hang until then... unless James wants a lap dance?"
"No!" James said. He seemed to still be suffering from the shock of the place.
"Erm... Why don't we get him good and drunk first?" Sirius said, slapping James on the back.
"Krystle!" one of the girls called from the bar. "Tina called in sick. Can you start now?"
"Yeah... I guess I can. I've got my stuff in my locker. I'll be there in a minute," she called back to her.
"Okay guys... I've got to start - I'll be at the table with your drinks in a minute," Krystle said to them, and she went through a door behind the bar.
"Okay you three," Adriana said, leading them to a table, "you got any plans for after this?"
"Well, if everything goes good here - and he passes out in a couple of hours - then we won't have much point in carrying him around town..." Sirius said and James glared at him.
"Here we are, a round of beers for the gents and ladies!" came Krystle's voice. She too was dressed as a cat, and Remus and Sirius were both staring at her. "What? Haven't you two ever seen a kitty before?"
Sirius broke into a huge grin and Remus licked his lips.
"C'mon, buddy! Drink up!" Sirius said. He shoved a beer into James's hand and slapped his back.
"Why do I regret ever letting you two do this?" James asked, but he chugged down the beer.
"So... James..." Darlene said. "Who's the lucky lady?"
"The unlucky lady is his shag pal from school," Sirius broke in. "I was starting to think he knocked her up, because James is not the kind of a guy who makes a commitment."
"I can tell by the guys he hangs out with..." Adriana said with a smirk.
"Oh, well... James learns from the best!" Remus said, and he did something that surprised James very much: he slapped Krystle's butt. And to his further surprise, she smiled, leaned into Remus's ear and whispered something. He opened his mouth and nodded, and then she smacked him over the head.
"Hey!" he said, rubbing where she hit him. "What'd I do?"
"You answered yes! That was a very wrong move!" she snapped and went to wait on another table.
"What'd she ask?" Sirius muttered.
"She asked me if I thought she was a stripper or something! There is nothing wrong with answering truthfully!" Remus said, shaking his head.
After about two hours, James had had enough to drink to let him feel careless about the lap dance Sirius had ordered for him. Sirius was acting very odd. He was spending his time in a deep conversation with Darlene instead of howling at the girls on the stage. Remus was acting less like himself as well - he was making out wildly with Krystle.
The next hour, Sirius had gotten so drunk that he decided to join the girls on the stage. James had a great time watching Sirius do the 'Electric Slide' with five girls surrounding him and trying to dance with him. He had made a few new friends by the time they were about to turn home.
"Did you boys have fun?" Darlene asked them, eyeing Sirius in particular.
"Amazing," Sirius muttered, but he wasn't exactly making eye contact with Darlene. He was looking a little south of her face. "Just... just perfect... I'll owl you tomorrow. Let's head home!"
James stood up and pulled on his cloak, nearly falling over. He steadied himself by leaning on the table while Sirius got up.
"C'mon, Remus," Sirius said. Remus was still making out wildly with Krystle. It didn't look like he had heard Sirius.
"Lupin!" Sirius said a little louder. Still, Remus pulled Krystle closer to him on his lap. "MOONY!"
Remus lifted his finger to Sirius to silence him, and he broke free of Krystle's mouth. "I'll owl you tomorrow..."
Krystle giggled and got up and back to the bar. The three boys Apparated to the Potter house and landed in the entrance. Mr. Potter had two rooms made for Remus and Sirius, as he knew they wouldn't be up to traveling too much. James stumbled into his room and collapsed onto his bed. He slept straight through the day and didn't wake until about four o'clock in the afternoon.
James woke up in morning with a stomach filled with butterflies. He knew that this was the day that Sirius and Remus were planning to take him out for his bachelor party. He got up and dressed, and then went downstairs to see if there was any breakfast made. Lily was sitting down at the table with a strange thing in front of her. It was like a book turned on its side, and it looked like a kind of Muggle machine.
"What is that?"
"Laptop," Lily muttered, and she began to click the small keys at the bottom.
"What?"
"It's a Muggle computer -" Lily started but James shook his head.
"Say no more!"
Lily smiled. "We got an owl from your father. He wants you to stay at his house for the next two days - until the wedding."
"Great!"
"And I've had a little chat with Sirius and Remus to make sure they don't do anything too wild tonight," Lily said, still pecking away at the keys.
"You're not - worried, are you Lil?" James said sarcastically.
"Don't be silly! I trust you... and Remus a little bit, but Sirius? Hell no!"
James laughed and went into the living room where he found Sirius laying on the couch with his feet on the coffee table, watching TV.
"I thought you had a house!" James said. "Get up - let's go have something to eat!"
"I can't be arsed," Sirius muttered, still staring at the TV. "Bring me something if you do."
"Well... I think I'm going to go and help my dad with that potion he's been trying... I might be there all night," James tried and it work. He sat up and pulled out his wand and conjured a large breakfast for James.
"Eat up," Sirius muttered. "You're not going anywhere!"
James sighed and sat down. "Where are we going tonight?"
"That's for me to know and for you to find out, my unfortunate friend!"
Hours later around ten o'clock...
James packed the last of his things into his trunk and settled it by the front door. He turned around and jumped - Sirius and Remus were standing in front of him. They were both sharing the same evil grin and had their hands behind their backs.
"Whatcha got there?" James asked, a definite note of panic in his voice. James had about three seconds to see that Sirius had a length of rope and Remus had a blindfold before they had tackled him and used their tools. Once he was blind and unable to use his hands, they both grabbed on of his arms and Disapparated. James felt his feet slam to the ground and the sounds around him were magnified. He could hear plenty of people around him.
"Where are we?" James muttered as Sirius and Remus led him into a building.
"Hogsmeade." Sirius and Remus led James, who was still blindfolded, into the Hog's Head. They sat him down at a table and ordered a round of mead.
"Can I take off the blindfold now?" James asked, searching the table for the handle on his tankard.
"Yeah, I guess so. But it's going back on when we leave. We just want to make sure you're good and drunk by then..." Sirius said and he pulled the blindfold off.
"Sirius..." Remus whispered. "Three hot babes at two o'clock..."
Sirius turned casually in his seat and saw the table Remus was referring to. James turned his attention to the table that Sirius and Remus were both gaping at.
There were three girls. One with long blonde hair and ice blue eyes; another with curly auburn hair and a deep tan, and the last girl had black hair and a captivating smile.
"What do you say?" Sirius asked James without lifting his stare.
"About what?"
"What - are you blind?" Remus asked.
"You guys! I'm getting married in three days! I shouldn't even be looking -" James started.
"This is what a bachelor party is about, my unfortunate friend. This'll be the last time you can even look at another women! C'mon - we'll spill the whole deal so there's no mistaking!" Sirius said.
"The answer is -" James started but was interrupted.
"Excuse me?"
It was one of the girls from the table, the blonde, and she was talking to James.
"Er - yes?"
"Hi! Umm... I was just sitting over there and my friends are both agreeing that you are the cutest thing they've ever seen. Would you three like to join us?" she asked. She caught the eye of Sirius and smiled. Remus and Sirius were both staring at James with their mouths hanging open.
"Er -" James started, but he was interrupted again.
"Actually," Sirius said, jumping up, "we'd love to. My friend is getting married in three days and tonight is his bachelor party - we'd love to endure the company of three fine ladies.
The girl smiled and led them over to the table.
"I'm Darlene," the blonde said. "This is Krystle -" she pointed to the curly auburn haired girl, "-and this is Adriana."
Krystle and Adriana both smiled.
"I'm Sirius," Sirius said boldly, "and this is Remus and James."
"James is on his bachelor party tonight," Darlene said to her friends. "You guys interested in us taking you out for the night?"
"Sure thing!" Sirius said to the girls before James could object.
"Great! What are you interested in?" Krystle asked.
"Truth be told, we were going to take James to a strip club. But - we have no idea where a good one is. You ladies know any places to interest our little buddy?" Remus asked.
The girls giggled. "I have a place in mind," Darlene said. "But it'll be a surprise for James. And another thing - it's a Muggle place, so we'll have to exchange some money. You boys up for a treat?"
"Definitely!" Sirius said. He grabbed the blindfold out of his pocket and shoved it back over James's eyes.
"Alright - we'll Apparate to the alley behind it. You guys hold onto James and follow us," Darlene said. She led the boys into a corner in the bar and James felt the guys jerk him forward and go zooming to wherever they were taking him.
"Alright, James... Right this way..." James heard Adriana say. She grabbed his arm and led him through a doorway.
James heard Sirius and Remus explode with laughter behind him. There was exotic music playing, and the smell of smoke was fresh.
"Where are we?" James asked.
"Welcome to..." Adriana ripped off the blindfold, "the Kitty Club!"
James's mouth dropped. The walls of the room they had entered were leopard-print, and there were about twenty circular tables surrounding a stage lit up with neon lights. There were girls dancing on the stage dressed up as cats, all stripping, and there were also more costumed girls serving the men at the tables.
"So..." Remus said, rubbing his hands together, "Are you girls regulars here?"
Darlene laughed. "Nope. Krystle works here - only a waitress," she added, seeing the look on Sirius's face.
"We come here every now and then..." Darlene continued. "We're friends with a lot of the guys who come here a lot."
"I've got to start waitressing in an hour," Krystle said, "so we can just hang until then... unless James wants a lap dance?"
"No!" James said. He seemed to still be suffering from the shock of the place.
"Erm... Why don't we get him good and drunk first?" Sirius said, slapping James on the back.
"Krystle!" one of the girls called from the bar. "Tina called in sick. Can you start now?"
"Yeah... I guess I can. I've got my stuff in my locker. I'll be there in a minute," she called back to her.
"Okay guys... I've got to start - I'll be at the table with your drinks in a minute," Krystle said to them, and she went through a door behind the bar.
"Okay you three," Adriana said, leading them to a table, "you got any plans for after this?"
"Well, if everything goes good here - and he passes out in a couple of hours - then we won't have much point in carrying him around town..." Sirius said and James glared at him.
"Here we are, a round of beers for the gents and ladies!" came Krystle's voice. She too was dressed as a cat, and Remus and Sirius were both staring at her. "What? Haven't you two ever seen a kitty before?"
Sirius broke into a huge grin and Remus licked his lips.
"C'mon, buddy! Drink up!" Sirius said. He shoved a beer into James's hand and slapped his back.
"Why do I regret ever letting you two do this?" James asked, but he chugged down the beer.
"So... James..." Darlene said. "Who's the lucky lady?"
"The unlucky lady is his shag pal from school," Sirius broke in. "I was starting to think he knocked her up, because James is not the kind of a guy who makes a commitment."
"I can tell by the guys he hangs out with..." Adriana said with a smirk.
"Oh, well... James learns from the best!" Remus said, and he did something that surprised James very much: he slapped Krystle's butt. And to his further surprise, she smiled, leaned into Remus's ear and whispered something. He opened his mouth and nodded, and then she smacked him over the head.
"Hey!" he said, rubbing where she hit him. "What'd I do?"
"You answered yes! That was a very wrong move!" she snapped and went to wait on another table.
"What'd she ask?" Sirius muttered.
"She asked me if I thought she was a stripper or something! There is nothing wrong with answering truthfully!" Remus said, shaking his head.
After about two hours, James had had enough to drink to let him feel careless about the lap dance Sirius had ordered for him. Sirius was acting very odd. He was spending his time in a deep conversation with Darlene instead of howling at the girls on the stage. Remus was acting less like himself as well - he was making out wildly with Krystle.
The next hour, Sirius had gotten so drunk that he decided to join the girls on the stage. James had a great time watching Sirius do the 'Electric Slide' with five girls surrounding him and trying to dance with him. He had made a few new friends by the time they were about to turn home.
"Did you boys have fun?" Darlene asked them, eyeing Sirius in particular.
"Amazing," Sirius muttered, but he wasn't exactly making eye contact with Darlene. He was looking a little south of her face. "Just... just perfect... I'll owl you tomorrow. Let's head home!"
James stood up and pulled on his cloak, nearly falling over. He steadied himself by leaning on the table while Sirius got up.
"C'mon, Remus," Sirius said. Remus was still making out wildly with Krystle. It didn't look like he had heard Sirius.
"Lupin!" Sirius said a little louder. Still, Remus pulled Krystle closer to him on his lap. "MOONY!"
Remus lifted his finger to Sirius to silence him, and he broke free of Krystle's mouth. "I'll owl you tomorrow..."
Krystle giggled and got up and back to the bar. The three boys Apparated to the Potter house and landed in the entrance. Mr. Potter had two rooms made for Remus and Sirius, as he knew they wouldn't be up to traveling too much. James stumbled into his room and collapsed onto his bed. He slept straight through the day and didn't wake until about four o'clock in the afternoon.