Yeah so there's some drama before the wedding but I am trying to get to it sooner rather than later.
Monday morning came by far too soon for Olivia's liking. They'd spent Sunday at Oliver's house and Olivia had been annoyed to find Don Cragen there. She'd avoided him all afternoon, even when at the dinner table and he'd spoken directly to her she'd managed to avoid talking to him whether it was excusing herself to the bathroom (Real morning sickness at three in the afternoon made faking it easier!) or by sneezing and apologise and ask Bayard what he'd just said. It was childish and her Father had pulled her up about it but she wasn't in a forgiving mood.
"Princess you have to get up for work." Bayard said rolling to her and kissing her neck softly.
"I know." She sighed and groaned as she stretched out her muscles.
"You were excited when Hendrix cleared you, what's changed?" Bayard asked softly.
"The longer it takes for me to talk to Don again the harder it's getting to talk to him." Olivia explained sighing again.
"Why don't you just apologise and say you were being unreasonable..."
"No way!" Olivia snapped. "He's the one who needs to apologise to me!"
"Olivia..."
"No Bayard, he and Huang were out of order! He especially! Taking away my gun ... he had no reason to do that!" Olivia explained angrily.
"Ok Princess, just get ready, go to work and just talk to him when he talks to you about work." Bayard suggested.
"I need to give him the wedding invite today, I'm taking them all in." Olivia sighed. "Your pile is by the toaster."
"I know, just put it on his desk when he's not in the office or something." Bayard suggested, he didn't like that he was helping Olivia avoid her superior but he also wanted to make sure she gave his best man the invite, he'd already asked and Don had accepted.
Olivia drove herself and Elliot to the precinct in the Ferrari. Don had been watching through the bullpen window and he sighed seeing the car arrive, he knew it would be awkward but he also knew they had to get to work.
"Everyone will just be glad to see you Liv." Elliot smiled as she pulled down her sweater over her very tiny bump.
She was showing now, for those who didn't know she was pregnant she just looked severely bloated, but for those who did know, she had a very adorable bump.
"Yeah well it will be nice to just have my gun back, damn you get used to the weight." Olivia laughed thinking of how she'd carried it for eight years and being without it was quite uncomfortable.
They walked the rest of the way to the squad room in silence, neither one sure what to say to break it. She went straight to her desk, pulled off her coat and sipped at the Starbucks she'd bought on the way.
"Hey baby girl!" Fin grinned as she pulled the wedding invites out of her purse.
"Hey Fin." She smiled turning to embrace him. "I can give you this now." She smiled sifting through the pile and finding the invite for Fin and Ken.
"Wow invite to the big day, it's less than two weeks now right?" He asked grinning.
"Don't remind me!" Olivia laughed.
"Yeah well we're going to get the suits with your Bayard on Saturday before helping Elliot move to his new place." Fin smiled just as Munch wrapped his arms around Olivia's shoulders from behind making her laugh.
"Skinny arms? Has to be John Munch!" She laughed as he slowly rocked her from side to side.
"It's good to see you Liv." He laughed as he let her go.
"Good to see you too John, here... your invite to the big day." She smiled. "Now I am going to drop these off in everyone's boxes."
She walked off with the invites many for the day even more for the evening party as she was inviting everyone at the one six.
"She's looking good." Munch noted as he watched her walked off.
"She's glowing man! I can't believe she's gonna be a baby mama!" Fin laughed before walking off to his desk.
Olivia took nearly thirty minutes dropping off all the invites and as soon as her backside landed on her chair Don came out of his office.
"Benson." He called his finger beckoning her into the office.
Olivia suppressed a sigh as she pushed back her chair under Elliot's watchful eye.
She walked tall into the office, holding her head up high and she wasn't surprised to see George Huang stood here either.
"Take a seat Liv..."
"No I'll stand." She replied quickly he'd barely even finished the sentence before she answered.
"Ok well you have to have a session with Huang so he can determine whether or not Hendrix was right in allowing you to return to full active duty." Cragen said. "Then I'll hopefully be able to return you your weapon ok?"
"Yes Sir." She replied as if Don was just her superior, not the man she'd looked up to as the father figure in her life for eight years.
"Dismissed." He said and Huang nodded his head to Olivia meaning they'd take the session straight away.
Olivia literally 'fell out' the way she had been taught in the academy and not the usual relaxed self she was with her superior normally.
She followed Huang up to the lounge and sat down on the couch knowing that this wouldn't or shouldn't take too long.
"So how are you Liv?" He asked.
"Fine." She replied with a slight shrug as if it was the most useless question he could ask.
George smirked, he knew that she would hate every second of this but it had to be done.
"So how do you feel your sessions with Rebecca changed your outlook on everything that happened?" George moved on not wanting to question how she was feeling, she looked great but wasn't one to say when she felt great.
"Changed me outlook on what happened?" She asked frowning. "It didn't, the sessions didn't change my outlook on what happened it just help me deal with all the feelings I had regarding what happened, ok in true enough fashion I'm not blaming myself anymore, she helped me understand that it wasn't my fault but she hasn't stopped me feeling like there might have been something I could have done differently the only difference is now I don't dwell on it, I've accepted that she died and I have also accepted that I lived to talk about it and see another day and I have no regrets about that, I never did have." She added the last four words in a serious matter knowing that George would carry it back to Don.
"Good, so other than what happened to Jasmine Hook what else did you and Doctor Hendrix discuss?" George pushed.
"Lots of things ..." Olivia shrugged. "Most of them that didn't concern this place and has nothing to do with you or Don Cragen."
"Olivia..."
"Most of it I wouldn't have talked about unless she explained how it fell under privileged information, she can't tell you because it didn't concern what happened on the roof but you know for me to have been off for nearly two weeks we talked through a lot more than just what happened on the roof, that bothers you because that means you don't know what was going through my head at the time I was on the roof." Olivia replied.
"Are you psychoanalysing me?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I don't need to George it's written all over your face." She replied sarcastically.
George didn't know whether to smirk or frown at this point, she was right, it did bother him that he didn't know her state of mind when she was on the roof because he and Don had spent the past two weeks trying to prove that Olivia was completely sane when she went up there, mainly for themselves though because Don had been blaming himself, saying that he shouldn't have called Olivia in and that it was too much for her even though he didn't know Jasmine Hook was a product of rape, he couldn't have known to stop it.
"Ok why don't you tell me some of the feelings you worked through without telling me what you talked about?" Huang suggested and Olivia laughed in reply.
"Not gonna work George so either tell Cragen to give me my gun back or I go to one p p and put in an official complaint and I'll remind you that both my fiancé an father are very good lawyers." He could see her eyes darkening as her temper began to get the better of her but he wasn't going to let her get away with everything that easy.
"So you think you have a basis for a complaint against someone?" Huang asked calmly.
"Think?" She snapped. "More like I know, I have spent the past week bored out of my brains George and when there's a study half filled with law books in the house it's pretty easy to find one on work ethics too, finding out about psych evals and police work, believe me when I say I should have gone to law school." Olivia laughed. "I've actually agreed to take a foundation open university law course while I'm off on maternity because of Bayard's badgering.
"So you're going to change careers?" Huang changed the subject quickly.
"No I'm taking a foundation degree George, you know where it takes about a year to complete depending on the hours I spend on it and because I already know a lot of the stuff it should come easily and I have no ambition to go and take the further course and then try for the bar." Olivia laughed. "I love being a cop but having a backup plan isn't a bad idea, plus I know my Dad would love it."
"So you're going to do it to please your Dad?"
"God you read too much into everything!" Olivia snapped. "No I am not doing it to please my Dad! He doesn't even know, and he won't know until after I get the foundation degree either, I just think it would make him proud you know, he missed all my academic achievements including me graduating out of the academy and it would be nice for both of us if we could have a moment like that to celebrate so why not do a foundation Law degree with the option to take it further if I so wish?" Olivia was visibly angry with the psychiatrist.
"I think that's a great idea Olivia and I think he would be very proud of you." George smiled softly and she gave him a half smile in return.
"Good now is that everything because I'd really like to get back to work, I have been waiting for this day for two weeks already." Olivia replied.
"Sure." George nodded.
ILB
Olivia sat at her desk staring at Cragen's office door with one hand stroking down the tiny bump just visible under her sweater.
"Olivia just because you're staring at the door it doesn't mean it's going to open." Elliot joked trying to get her to smile.
"It's been over an hour!" She agonized. "I just want my damn glock back before I nick yours and shoot him in the head with it."
Elliot burst out laughing which in turn got a smile out of Olivia.
"What?" She asked.
"Seriously? If George Huang heard that you'd never get your gun back." He teased.
"Yeah well saying it and doing it are two complete different things Stabler, I'm mad... furious with Don Cragen but I wouldn't sink so low as to murder him, but maybe holding the gun towards him might get him to change his mind." She smirked as she talked.
"I'm sure it would!" Elliot laughed as did Olivia which made her too distracted to see the office door opening.
"Benson!" Cragen called.
"You want the gun?" Elliot teased his hand on his weapon as she walked past his desk.
"If only it was that easy." She replied with a roll of her eyes.
Once she arrived the office all traces of enjoyment from her conversation with Elliot left her features and she stood up straight with an unreadable emotionless face.
"Wanna sit?" Cragen tried knowing it was hopeless.
"No thank you." Olivia replied dryly.
George Huang was watching her every movement and she knew it and felt even mildly intimidated by his watchful eye.
"Ok so uh you're probably wondering why it's taken us so long to call you in here..." Don said shifting nervously from toe to toe behind his desk.
"Not really." Olivia replied lying through her teeth.
"Ok well we obviously discussed your first evaluation in comparison to this evaluation and what Rebecca Hendrix could give us..."
"Get to the point Don." She snapped crossing her arms over her chest, she knew he was babbling for a reason.
"We don't think you're ready to go back in the field."
"What!" She snapped angrily.
"It's too soon..."
"Excuse me?" She yelled angrily. "I did everything I was told to! Everything! Which included an hour a week in the company of Rebecca fucking Hendrix who quite frankly gets on my nerves when she's working!" Olivia felt like she was fire, she was furious.
"But you're still hiding things Olivia, from me and from Don and when you won't let us help you ..."
"Help me? Hiding things? I let Hendrix in! I did as I was told and I held nothing back, Jesus." She ran her hand through her hair in frustration. "What is your problem?"
"I don't have the problem here Olivia." Don replied firmly.
"There's a reason you don't want me out in the field and don't you dare tell me it's something to do with the fact I have Daddy issues." She hissed leaning on the chairs in front of the desk.
"You're already opening up..."
"Don't you speak, I'm talking to him, not you." Olivia told Huang who immediately retreated back.
"So you have Daddy issues?" Don asked.
"Never you mind, it doesn't concern my job and I'm still seeing Becca once a week on my own so I don't need you telling me that I can't do my job!"
"You're still seeing Hendrix?"
Olivia turned around and took a deep breath, she knew she was either going to burst into tears or hit someone and she knew that neither would help her case.
"It's none of your business." Olivia replied. "The clock stopped on it being on the record the moment she signed off on me being able to return to work."
"Off the record here Olivia I'd like nothing more than to give you your gun back and send you out there..."
"Don't lie! I've been cleared for active duty which means that you have other reasons for keeping me behind a desk!" Olivia was getting worked up again, as she gripped the chair in front of her the skin on her knuckles turned white.
"I might have Olivia but you've got to trust me..."
"I stopped trusting you the moment you took that gun off me Don!" She yelled. "You had no reason to take it from me, I've been off sick because of psych evals before but this was the first time you felt the need to take away my weapon, why?" She was struggling to hide the tears that were steadily building behind her eyes.
"What does it matter?" Don asked.
"It matters to me!" She yelled frantically. "For you to do that it shows you don't trust me and trust works both ways, why do you think I haven't spoken to you in two weeks! How can you expect me to trust you when you don't trust me?"
Don sighed , he was getting nowhere with her and he knew that she wasn't going to drop the subject so he had to, without giving her the gun back.
"You have two choices Olivia, sit behind a desk or go home." Don said firmly.
"I'm going home." She replied hoarsely. "And off the record... I hate you." She turned on her heels and quickly left before the tears felt stopping at her desk only to grab her purse coat and keys.
Don sighed and slumped into his chair that had not gone according to plan.
"What are you reasons for not giving her back her gun?" George asked sitting down opposite him.
"What does it matter?" Don asked in a defeated manner.
"It matters because I told you that she was cleared for active duty, I told you I agreed with Hendrix but you still want her behind a desk, what's you reasoning?"
"I promised her father and her soon to be husband that I would make sure no harm came to her while she carried her baby." Don explained heavily.
"And to do that you need to make sure you can keep an eye on her, having her behind a desk instead of on the streets is just one way of looking out for her." George gave his viewpoint and Don nodded in agreement.
"And the cost is the girl I've loved as my own daughter hates me." He sighed.
"Go to her Don, talk to her and tell her what her Dad and Bayard said, she'll still argue against your decision and you know then that you will have to give her the gun back or she'll go to one PP but you'll at least salvage your relationship with her." George persuaded and Don nodded again.
"You're right, I have no right to stop her doing her job." He rolled his chair back and grabbed his keys. "Now I have to make sure there's a relationship left to salvage."
George nodded and just watched as the aging Captain left the office with slumped shoulders and a obvious heavy heart.