The Uncanny Titans

Chapter 26: Starfire's Party of Bachelorettes

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- 'To survive a war, you gotta become war.'- John Rambo (Rambo: First Blood Part 2)

Titans Tower-

Dick Grayson stood beside a window and peered outside at the small group of people stood on a raft that was taking them to nearby Jump City.

'Well, the girls have gone.' The former Boy Wonder told Beast Boy, who was standing beside him. 'We might as well get this bachelor party over and done with.'

'Dude, you worry too much.' The green-skinned shape shifter grinned at his friend. 'You made the right choice in letting me organize this little shindig.'

'Just try not to do any that'll make me regret my choice, okay?' Dick sighed heavily. 'I don't think Kory would appreciate it if you ended up doing something silly like covering me in tar and feathers and leaving me tied to a lamppost.'

'Yeah, good thing we decided against that.' Beast Boy nodded thoughtfully. 'Even I know not to make Kory angry.'

'Yeah, you wouldn't like her when she's angry.' Cyborg chipped in as he passed by wheeling in several kegs of beer.

'Tell me that the beer people got our order right.' Beast Boy said. 'They didn't give us a keg of mineral water, did they? You can't have a bachelor party without beer. Do you know what the guests'll do if they find out that we haven't got beer? They'll trash the place!'

'Sure, if they're British soccer hooligans.' Cyborg rolled his eyes. 'Chill out, BB. They got our order right.'

'But how do you know?' Beast Boy countered.

'I just know.' Cyborg responded.

'But... how?' Beast Boy continued.

Dick decided that it would have been a better idea if he made a hasty retreat and went to go get ready for his last night of freedom.

Downtown Jump City, a little later-

Starfire and her lady friends strolled down the street of Jump City's nightclub district. She was joined by Raven, who had organised the night out, former Titans Jinx, Argent, and Bumblebee, Donna Troy and Dolphin of Titans East, and Shayera Hol, who Starfire had befriended during her brief stint with the Justice League.

The group of young women were clad in identical white t-shirts with a list of establishments that they planned to visit. Several of them were also wearing bunny ears or bright pink cowboy hats. Starfire, however, had a L-Plate from somebody's car dangling from her neck like a makeshift necklace.

'Raven, I never knew you had it in you.' Jinx grinned as she watched the people that they passed by stop and look at the entourage of heroines. 'I always thought you were boring.'

'Well, you know what people say.' Argent added her two cents. 'It's always the boring ones you have to be careful of.'

'Thanks girls.' Raven responded evenly. 'There's no need to hide your real feelings or anything.'

'Oh, don't be so glum, luv.' A grinning Argent patted the half-demon empath on the shoulder. 'We're just happy that you're finally letting your hair down a bit.'

'Everybody needs to let their hair down once in a while.' Dolphin agreed. 'Even if it's only for a little while.'

'I think we're all forgetting one of the most important things about this night out…' Shayera chipped in. 'Namely the naked men and amounts of alcohol that would kill a herd of elephants.'

'Unless somebody ends up starting another bar brawl.' Bumblebee reminded the group.

'Well, excuse me.' Shayera gasped dramatically. 'That's just how Thanagarians celebrate.'

'I heard that Thanagarians celebrate everything with brawling.' Jinx chuckled.

'It's what we're good at.' Shayera shrugged. 'And drinking. We like drinking.'

'It is a pity that I will not be able to imbibe the copious amounts of alcohol with you.' Starfire apologised. 'Perhaps we should do this again once I have given birth to the baby.' The alien princess smiled and gently patted her swollen midsection.

'You're not the only one who isn't drinking, Kory.' Donna pointed out. 'Everybody knows what happens when Raven has too much to drink. Grr! Argh! Rage shall consume you!'

'Thank you so much, Donna.' Raven rolled her eyes. 'Let's keep the banter to a minimum when we enter the first club, okay?'

'Say, if Raven gets like that when she's drunk, then how does she get when she's with Beast Boy?' Argent thought out loud.

'Why do you think Titans Tower has been rebuilt so many times?' Jinx snickered.

'Please shut up.'

Back in Titans Tower-

Dick Grayson's bachelor party had gotten off to a swinging start. Well, not really. The guys were just sitting around while Beast Boy yelled at somebody on the phone.

'What do you mean she's sick?' The chartreuse-hued hero yelled angrily. 'You can't seriously be telling me that all five of the dancers I requested got sick at the same time! No, we do NOT want a clown as a replacement! What sort of agency employs dancing girls and clowns? You, sir, are sick! Good day to you!'

'So, no female entertainment, then?' A rather disappointed Speedy sighed. 'Some great bachelor party this has turned out to be.'

'Hey, I like it.' Aqualad responded as he shovelled a handful of corn chips into his mouth, to which Speedy countered with a shrimp puff tossed in the young Atlantean's direction

'Eee! Take it away!' Aqualad squeaked as he jumped up from his seat.

'We've got to do something about this, guys.' Speedy told the other male heroes. 'We can't have a bachelor party without female entertainment, it's the law!'

'And what do you think would happen if your girlfriend found out that you were in a strip club ogling women that weren't her?' Cyborg warned. 'I'm no expert on Amazon law, but I think it might end up with you having something cut off and having it fed to dogs.'

'I'll sit down now…' A suitably admonished Speedy mumbled meekly as he took his seat.

Back with the girls-

Fortunately, Starfire and the rest of the girls were having much more fun. They were sitting in a booth with a perfect view of the scantily-clad men gyrating on stage.

'Yeah! Get it all off!' Argent hooted drunkenly. 'Show me the money, baby! Whooo!'

'Argent, sit down!' Bumblebee hissed at the inebriated plasma-wielder. 'You'll get us thrown out!'

'Aww, yer no fun…' Argent pouted before letting rip with a rather unladylike burp. 'BRAAAP!!'

'Real classy, Argent.' Jinx rolled her eyes. 'You always know how to make a celebration just that little more sophisticated.'

'Well, Kory, do you like your special night out so far?' Donna enquired. 'Raven's really pulled out all the stops to celebrate your last night of freedom.'

'Why do you keep saying things like that?' Starfire asked. 'Is marriage not a good thing? What you are saying is that marriage is like being imprisoned.'

'Hey, you won't ever get me tying myself down to a man.' Donna shrugged.

'That isn't what we've heard.' Jinx snickered. 'Everybody knows about all the shenanigans you get up to with that golden lasso of yours.'

'What shenanigans?' Dolphin asked innocently. 'I don't get it.'

'Perhaps it's best that you don't.' Raven advised the silver-haired young woman. 'Just let them carry on like this and they'll soon get bored.'

Thankfully, Shayera soon turned up with a tray of brightly-coloured drinks in shot glasses and a pitcher of something blue.

'Ladies, your liquid refreshment has arrived!' The red-haired Thanagarian grinned. 'I told the barman that we were here having a bachelorette party, so he gave me free shots. The best thing is, they're going to be free all night!'

'I don't think Argent should have any more.' Bumblebee suggested as she pushed the drunken heroine who had fallen leaning on her shoulder. The unconscious Argent simply flopped to the side to come to rest on Jinx's shoulder.

'Mmm, this is my kind of party.' Donna grinned as she took a shot glass in her hand. 'Semi-naked men and free shots!'

'Are you ready, girls?' Raven asked as the others held their shot glasses in preparation. 'After three: One… Two… Three!'

TBC…

Next: Kory's Big Day

The big day has finally arrived. It's Nightwing and Starfire's wedding! But with a guest list full of superheroes, will everything go off without a hitch? Tune in next time to find out…