Chapter Twenty-Six: Tomoya

I groaned as I reached over to smack my alarm clock. I didn't really blame it for being so loud; it was just doing its job, after all.

I rolled out of bed and padded to the bathroom. Koumura-sensei would be showing up at exactly 10-o-clock to tutor me, just as he had for the last couple of weeks, and I wanted to be ready for him.

After splashing cold water on my face, I looked at my reflection in the mirror; I looked like I had aged ten years in the span of a few days. "Great," I grumbled. "With the way I'm going, I'll ready for retirement before I even finish high school."

As I worked on making breakfast for myself, I thought about Rie. Other than her note of apology I hadn't heard anything from her. Was she talking with Koumura-sensei? Had she given up on me? I paused in stirring the pot as that thought started to take hold. "No way; not after what happened at the picnic would she quit like that."

But did she think that I'd given up on her? "I don't think so," I mused. "We're too close, too conn-"

*knock knock knock*

I wondered who would be stopping by so early as I quickly wiped my hands before heading to the door

I opened it to find Gouda on my front porch. "Good morning, Okazaki," he greeted with his characteristic bow.

"G-Good morning," I managed to reply. "How did you know where-"

"Tomoya-kun; good morning," Kotomi greeted, stepping out from behind him. "I hope the morning finds you well."

"H-Hey," I managed to reply. "Thanks. It's good to see you two, but…what are you doing here?"

They shared a glance before Gouda spoke. "Nishina-san has been very worried about you."

"You've seen her?"

A nod. "We gathered the day after the concert with the intent to celebrate, but when she showed up by herself…" He spread his hands with an apologetic look.

That would have been before I found her note. "How…How much do you know?" I asked nervously. "What did she tell you?"

"Just that you left suddenly, and seemed to be very sad," Kotomi answered. "She wanted to blame herself, but we did not think that she was at fault."

"It would be strange for you to act like that without a good reason," Gouda said. "Besides, you two are very close; I saw that at the picnic. I think if she did something that upset you, you would have gone to her to give her the chance to make amends."

"You're not wrong," I admitted. "Have you seen her lately? Like, in the last day or two?"

"She…" Kotomi hesitated before exchanging another glance. "We told her that we would be visiting you today and she wanted to come along, but…"

"She's not sure what you think of her right now," Gouda finished. "If you have anything you'd like her to know, you can tell us and we will pass it along to her."

"Tell her it's not her fault," I told them; that part was easy enough. "As far as what really happened…I'd like to keep that to myself for now; it's kind of embarrassing."

"We understand," Kotomi replied with a slight bow. "If it helps with your investigation, she told us that she was humming while stroking your hair when you…reacted."

I could feel my face heat up before… "Wait…you said she was humming?"

A simple nod.

"What… Did she tell you what she was humming? Was it a real song or just something she made up?"

"She did not go into that level of detail," Kotomi said sadly. "I am sorry."

"Don't worry about it." I closed my eyes as I pinched the bridge of my nose. "It might explain why I saw mommy in my dreams…"

"Mommy?" I heard Gouda's voice exclaim.

I felt the blood drain from pretty much everywhere. "I…"

"Gouda-kun, please don't make fun of-"

"'Gouda-kun'?!" My eyes snapped open, wide. "That's it! That's why I've been thinking of her as 'mommy' instead of 'mom'!"

"Tomoya-kun…?"

"Yeah, that!" I nearly yelled, pointing at my childhood friend. "It's like why you keep using '-chan' and '-kun'! My mom died when I was really young, so I would remember her as 'Mommy'! Your parents died when you were…about eight, right?"

"Okazaki!" Gouda drew himself to his full height. "Please do not bring up her sad memories!"

"G-Gouda-kun!" she cried, blushing.

"You were eight, right?" I pressed.

"I-I was, yes."

"So it's like some part of you is stuck ten years in the past, when we would talk to each other using '-chan' and '-kun'!"

"O-Okazaki?"

I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and I gave Kotomi a hug before clapping my junior on the shoulder. "That's gotta be it! Now it all makes sense!"

"I-I'm glad, senpai?"

"Good for you, Tomoya-kun!" Kotomi exclaimed while clapping. Then her expression turned serious. "It would seem that I have some thinking to do as well."

"K-Kotomi-chan?" Gouda looked to her with a worried expression.

"Please excuse me, Tomoya-kun," she said with a…heaviness? …to her tone. "I feel…strange. Hanzo-kun; would you please walk me home?"

'Hanzo-kun'?

"O-Of course. Please excuse us, Okazaki." He bowed deeply to me. "We are gladdened to see you well, and look forward to your recovery." He straightened and extended an arm toward my old friend. "D-Do you need my support? I will carry you if needed."

"It is not necessary, but thank you," she said softly as she took his arm. "I will speak with you later, Tomoya-kun; I think we will have things to discuss."

"Y-Yeah," I replied, nodding dumbly; it was the only thing I could think to do. "Take care, you two."

As I watched them head away, arm-in-arm, there was only one thought that came to mind: I really missed Rie.

I was trying to review my work from my last lesson when there was another knock at the door, and a glance at the clock told me that it was probably my old homeroom teacher, back to tutor me again. "Coming…"

I opened the door and, sure enough, Koumura-sensei stood on the front porch, textbooks in hand. "Good morning, Tomoya-san. Forgive me if I am late."

"You're right on time, by my clock," I said as I stepped aside to let him in. "Can I make you some tea?"

He paused in his entry, and a gentle smile crossed his wizened face. "Yes please, and thank you for offering."

I helped him settle in, then made my way to the kitchen. "I've got some questions about yesterday's stuff," I told him as the kettle heated. "Can I ask them before we get to today's stuff?"

"Certainly," he replied. "You could ask them now, if you want."

"I'll need to show you the problems I'm having problems with," I explained.

"Understood."

I finished making tea for both of us, and set them on the kotatsu. We then went over the questions I had about the math and science he had taught me yesterday.

"All right, that makes sense," I said as we finished up with my last question, and I leaned back, propping myself up with one hand while pinching the bridge of my nose with the other. "I guess I was just making it harder than it was."

"That is not unusual," Koumura-sensei said, but I sensed that he meant more to it than just about math. "It's very easy to make things too difficult."

"Easy to make things difficult…" I chuckled. "It makes sense, but it sounds kinda funny."

"At least it is easier to remember," he noted. "You have found it humorous, so you are not as likely to forget, right?"

"True," I replied, still amused.

"Now, are you ready for today's lesson?"

"Nope," I replied. "Let's do it."

For some reason, I felt a warmth when my old teacher chuckled. "Very well, Tomoya-san," he said as he opened one of the books he'd brought with him. "Today is history and English…but I suppose you've had some practice with the latter, haven't you?" he finished, a smile creeping across his face.

"What do you mean?"

He gestured to me. "Well, you've been doing all that research into songs for the Chorus Club, haven't you? Are you going to tell me that you learned nothing from all that?"

I straightened up with a blink. "I hadn't thought of that. I guess…maybe I did pick up a word here and there."

His smile broadened as he turned the book toward me. "Well, young man, let's see how much you picked up."

The next hour was pretty hard, but not as brutal as I thought it would be. The way sentences were put together in English was very different from the way we did it in Japan, but I got the sense that Koumura-sensei had dealt with students like me before, because he made learning really easy.

"So, the chicken is the subject of the sentence, and the road is the object?" I asked, glancing over at my tutor, who nodded.

"Yes. Despite the dissimilar sentence structure, you can see that the chicken is the one doing the crossing, while the road is what is being crossed," he explained.

I briefly fought back a feeling of despair at how much I had missed due to being a delinquent. "All right, I think I get it. I'll need some time to sort all this out, but I think I get it."

"You have actually understood more than I expected this early in our lessons," he remarked as he closed the English book and reached for what I assumed was the history book. "Well done, young man."

"Thanks."

"Are you ready for history?"

"Could we break for lunch?" I asked, pointing at the clock. "It's getting pretty close to noon."

"Very well."

"Would you like to stay for lunch?" I offered with an impish grin.

He snorted with a shake of his head; offering him lunch had become something of an inside joke. "Thank you Tomoya-san, yes I would."

I headed into the kitchen and took a box of leftovers from the refrigerator.

"You seem to be in good spirits today," he observed.

I paused in my stirring. Was I in a good mood? "I guess I am," I admitted. "I think I figured something gout this morning."

"What happened?"

I went back to stirring normally. "Ko…Er, a couple of my friends stopped by earlier to check up on me."

"Friends?"

I paused again; I had spoken without thinking, but was it really true? I knew that I already considered Kotomi a friend, but Gouda? I hadn't really thought about it, but… "Yeah. Friends."

"It was thoughtful of them to check up on you."

"Yeah, it was," I mused as I poured the soup into our bowls. "It seems like it's been forever since I last saw them."

"In any case, what did you figure out?"

This was going to be embarrassing. "I've been thinking of my mom as, um, 'mommy' for some reason, but I think I figured out that reason."

"And that is?"

I set our bowls down on the kotatsu before taking my spot across from him again. "Because that's how I remember her."

"How you remember-Ahhhhh! I think I understand!" he exclaimed as we brought our hands together.

I nodded, feeling my face heat up. "I was really young when she died, so what I've been seeing in my dreams must've been memories from when I was really little."

"Hmmm," he intoned, stroking his chin. "That stands to reason."

"I think that's also why Kotomi-chan uses childish honorifics. In fact, she made me think of it when she called me 'Tomoya-kun' earlier."

"So she was one of your visitors?"

My spoon paused on its way to my mouth; crap, I was hoping to keep who they were secret. Oh, well… "Yeah, she was one of them."

"Then Gouda-san must have been the other one…unless there were more."

I blinked at him in amazement. "How…How did you know?"

He smiled softly. "I came across them out and about; at the time, I did not realize that they were coming to visit you."

I sighed with a smile and a shake of my head. "Yeah, they stopped by, but they left a little bit before you got here."

He nodded with a grunt. "It is good to have friends who care, is it not?"

"Yeah…" I stirred my soup as his words sunk in. I'd never really thought about friends. I'd hang out with Sunohara, sure, but that was more because we were both delinquents than due to us having anything in common…other than being delinquents. "Hey old man; why did you put Sunohara and I together, anyway?"

"Hmmm?" His eyebrows raised, and I realized that my question had kinda come out-of-the-blue. "You needed a reason to stay in school."

"Huh?"

He put his spoon in his bowl and crossed his arms to fix me with his gaze. "I was concerned that, had I not introduced you to each other, you both would likely have dropped out of school, and that would have been no good."

So, he was taking care of us. "Thanks," I said, then snorted. "I don't think our 'friendship' will last past high-school, though; being delinquents together seems like it'd be a pretty weak reason to be friends."

"Perhaps." He picked up his spoon to slowly stir his soup. "Then again, you both would be interested in how the other does, if for no other reason than for bragging rights."

I laughed out loud at his remark; he was the last person I'd expect to hear talking about 'bragging rights'. "Heh…you might be right." I sobered as I remembered the blond idiot's 'myself' comments. "Though…I really hope he does well later on."

"There's that possibility as well," he said before raising his spoon to his mouth.

I blinked and shook my head, deciding to file the thoughts away for later. "Sorry for talking so much; let's finish lunch so we can get to…history, right?"

"History, yes," he confirmed. "But don't worry about your talking; I have enjoyed learning about you."

I felt my face heat up but said nothing more as we finished our meal.

"Thanks again, old man," I said as Koumura-sensei put his shoes on. "So… 10 AM tomorrow morning?"

"As 'AM' indicates the morning hours, then yes," he said with an impish smile.

I couldn't help but chuckle at the side of him I'd never seen before. "Okay, I guess it was kinda 'Captain Obvious'." I handed him his jacket before waving as he shuffled down the short walkway to the road. "Thanks again, sensei."

He nodded with a grunt as he turned to make his way down the road, presumably toward home, and I smiled to myself as I closed the door. "What a day…already."

I cleared the bowls from the kotatsu and took them over to the sink to wash them. I had just picked up the sponge when there was another knock at the door. "Jeez, I'm popular today," I half-complained as I put the sponge down. After rinsing and drying my hands I headed over to the door. "Good after…noon…"

"Hey, nii-san." On my front porch stood Amane in a white blouse and light-blue skirt, and it took me a moment to be surprised that Rie and Harada weren't with her. "You busy right now?"

"Not really. Just cleaning up after lunch. What's up?"

Her posture shifted just a little, enough for me to recognize her discomfort. "A-Are you going anywhere tonight?"

"Wh-What?" Was she going to ask me on a date or something? And did Rie know? And- "N-No, I'm gonna be here, working on my schoolwork."

Her expression brightened. "Hey, that's really cool! Good job!"

"Thanks?" I said, rubbing the back of my head.

She said nothing but stood there, fidgeting as she appeared to study me.

"So…" I said, feeling a little awkward at her intensity, "…was there anything else?"

"Huh?" she squeaked, something unusual for her. "N-No! That was it! See you later-er, have a good day!" With that she turned and headed back toward the road, giving me a very mechanical-looking wave as she left.

I puzzled over her question as well as her behavior as I headed back to the sink. Fifteen minutes later, my nose was buried in studies.

I covered my yawn with my hand as I stretched my right arm in front of me as best I could. Because of my shoulder injury, I couldn't stretch my right arm over my head the way most guys would, so I made do. It worked, in any case. "I'm exhausted…"

I wasn't really tired in the normal sense; I'd been on my butt for several hours, working on the problems that Koumura-sensei had given me, and those were draining. I checked the clock and realized that I had missed dinnertime by about half an hour. "Well, let's see what we have…"

I headed downstairs to the kitchen area and started looking for vegetables. I found them, along with some beef, so I started cooking them together as I looked for the rice. We didn't have a rice cooker, so Dad usually picked up some of the 'instant' rice. While I searched I thought about what alternatives I could use if I couldn't find-

My hand froze in its movement through the pantry; what had gotten into me? When did I start worrying about making something? Couldn't I just go to the convenience store and buy something? I snorted with a humorless smile as I remembered my old teacher's words: "…if you are going to function in the adult world, it is past time you learned how to fend for yourself…" My smile turned thoughtful as I found the rice and started to prepare it; maybe I was afraid of growing up? Maybe the loss of my mobility also made me lose my motivation? After all, what else did I have to offer? I tried to not think about this too much as I put my meal together and settled down by the kotatsu.

I finished up my meal and took my plate to the kitchen and washed it. As I headed to the stairs I realized that, in a sense, I was already getting a taste of what living on my own would be like; I made my own meals and set my own hours. I was sure there was more to it than that, but I was starting to take Koumura-sensei's words to heart. "Well, back to work."

I headed up the stairs and had just settled into my seat at the desk when…I heard music. I took me a moment, but I felt a smile spread across my face as I recognized the style as… "That's doo-wop…"

It seemed to be coming from outside, so I crawled onto my bed and looked out the window to see… "Rie…?"

My girlfriend stood just inside the short wall in front of my house. She wasn't alone, though; Amane, Harada, Reiko and Uematsu were with her.

I opened my window and leaned out enough so she could see me. "Rie? What are you doing here?"

She waved up at me but didn't answer otherwise, and she turned and pressed a button on a box by her feet. The music stopped, then a new song started, one that I hadn't heard before. I was a little concerned about them disturbing the neighbors, but decided to keep quiet and see what would happen.

The song started with all five of them harmonizing with 'Ah's, but then Rie stepped forward and started to sing:

*"Maybe, if I pray every night
You'll come back to me. And
Maybe, if I cry everyday
You'll come back to stay.
Ohhhh, maybe..."*

I felt the blood draining from my face; was I being serenaded by my own girlfriend? And why was she singing about 'maybe'? Was she doubting us? I had given her reason to worry, I supposed, since I had run away the way that I did and never talked to her directly.

*"I've cried and prayed to the Lord
To send you back, my love
But instead you came to me
But only in my dreams…"*

Was that really how she felt, or was that just the song's lyrics? I stayed at my window transfixed as, even as far away as I was, I saw her eyes glistening in the dimming light. "Rie…I'm sorry…"

The song eventually ended, but Rie kept her gaze on me, and I couldn't take it anymore; I leaped from my bed and hurried down the stairs, nearly losing my footing, and quickly slid on my outdoor shoes before slamming my way out the front door.

I found her exactly where she had been during her song; I noticed that the other girls weren't with her. "H-Hey," I greeted somewhat lamely as I stopped in front of her.

"Hey," she replied quietly, her face downturned.

"How…How've things been going?" I asked, not sure what else to say.

"Tomoya…" She looked up, and my heart hurt at the sight of tears in her eyes. "I've missed you so much. I know it's only been a couple of weeks, but…"

"I'm sorry," I said. "It all happened so quickly, that-"

"What happened, Tomoya?" she demanded, grabbing my hands and fixing me with her gaze. "Even thought nee-san and Gouda-san have told me that you said it's not my fault, I can't help but think that it is!"

I sighed, allowing an awkward smile to creep across my face. "Rie? What were you humming just before I…ran away?"

"Huh?" She blinked. "I was…singing a lullaby. I thought it'd be cute and you'd find it funny. I didn't think it would hurt you."

"It didn't," I replied, the last few pieces finally falling into place. "Rie…the truth is…I think it reminded me of my mom."

Another blink. "R-Really?"

"Yeah," I grunted, releasing one of her hands to rub the back of my neck. "See, I've been having dreams or visions or something of a young woman with wavy blue hair. After looking in my dad's photo album, I realized it was her. You humming me to sleep might have reminded me of her."

"You really miss her, don't you?" she asked with compassion in her voice.

I blew air noisily though my lips as I took her hands again. "You know, if you asked me that a few weeks ago, I probably would have said 'I don't know'. But now that I've had these dreams…or memories…" My chest tightened as I felt the pain of loss again. "…yeah. Yeah, I miss her a lot."

She let go of one of my hands to rest her hand on my cheek. "I'm sorry that I caused you pain, but I'm glad that some good came from it."

"Yeah. Yeah, it did," I grunted, feeling the pressure behind my eyes again. "I feel like a wreck, but I also feel…more whole? Complete?"

"You got part of your life back," she observed.

I had to nod to that. "Yeah…I think you're right."

"Tomoya…?"

"Yeah, Rie?"

The next thing I knew, my girlfriend had pressed herself into me, wrapping her arms around me; I could feel her trembling against me. "I…I've missed you so much."

I looked down at her for a moment, then smiled. "I've missed you, too. I'm sorry for running away like that."

"I u-understand," she sniffed, rubbing her nose against me as she shook her head. "Can…Can we go back to the way things were?"

I placed my hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her away. "No. Our relationship will never be the same again."

A shuddering breath. "Wh-What do you mean?"

I smiled again as I leaned down toward her, stopping just millimeters from her lips. "It'll be better from now on; I promise."

I had planned to kiss her after that but she beat me to it, throwing her arms around my neck to nearly mash her lips against mine.

I waved as she headed for home, stopping only when she rounded the corner and disappeared from sight. As I turned to go back into the house I saw what looked like a snowflake falling from the sky. It was weird seeing a snowflake in the summer, but what was weirder was that it seemed to be falling toward me. I reached out to catch it, but instead of landing on my hand and melting like part of me expected it to, it…disappeared…into my hand, and a warmth spread though my whole body.