"My heart is in the right place, Namie."
Izaya's mood soared.
"We are going to come up with a step by step plan for eradicating Seiji's obsession and we are starting now."
"Eh…? Right now…? How about the chocolate syrup-"
"Not going to happen so might as well give up."
The therapist too was dragged into a car that sped away to some unknown destination. Somehow Izaya did not seem particularly phased.
"I got a special cake mold with Seiji-kun's face, I was thinking that you could gather in the kitchen on weekend mornings and have a wholesome family baking event. Not that I think you are into baking, you probably have no such interests but-"
"Baking is a form of chemistry. It is science and I obviously am skilled in that area."
Izaya gasped comically.
"Namie, you know how to bake? What a surprise! To think that are things about you that I do not know despite all my research! It is amazing, it goes to show that no matter how much information you may have there is still more to be obtained. Ah, normally I don't like sweet things but I'd totally eat a cake baked by you! I can see it now, Namie whipping cream until it gets all frothy, wearing nothing but a naked apron, then specks of vanilla falling on her pretty nose-"
"Fasten your seatbelt and stop thinking out loud, it's disturbing."
The therapist had a feeling that Namie would spice up the cake with cyanide.
"By the way, where are we going?"
The therapist wanted to know as well.
"Into a special compound for a lockdown session."
"My, that sounds so kinky."
Izaya was still beaming but it was cut short as Namie abruptly fastened his seatbelt for him in such a way so as to nearly choke him.
"Our purpose is to find a way of curing Seiji. If there are any distractions around I know that your mind will wander. This way you will stay focused whether you like it or not."
"Namie- can't- breathe-"
"And you're going to help. Got it?"
This was aimed at the therapist who could only nod. This was not at all his area of expertise but clearly it would not do to mention it.
When they reached their destination Izaya had to crawl out of the car and huddle on the pavement taking deep breaths. But it was typical of Izaya to spin any and all difficult situations into something positive. As Namie was making preparations (for what exactly the therapist did not even know and was too afraid to ask) Izaya dragged the therapist to the bathroom and locked the stall behind them.
"No cameras here, good."
"Orihara-san, what are you doing?"
"This is a brilliant opportunity. You know all my possible scenarios regarding the Seiji-kun issue?"
It was not as if the therapist could ever forget it.
"What does that have to do with-"
"This is the best possible outcome! With your help I will devise a way of curing Seiji-kun or at least show how committed I am to the project. Between you and I, it's a lost battle as that kid is too far gone and was never too sane to start with. But this will show my good will like nothing else could! Namie is bound to be impressed. After that things will go back to the schedule."
"Schedule?"
"You know what I mean, doc. Marriage and all that. Because Namie in a wedding dress is a must! Don't forget that you're my right hand man, I'm counting on you."
"Orihara-san, I am your therapist. Not your right hand man as you put it-"
"I always wanted to have a right hand man to accentuate my coolness but people tend to bail on me. I wonder why. It's either that or they are far too unreliable like Kida-kun. Namie is right, it is so difficult to find decent lackeys in this day and age. That's why you're such a great find!"
Despite Izaya's antics the therapist did not expect anyone to even ask for his opinion. Even if Namie had stated otherwise he thought that things would pan out as usual and spin into another crazy argument in which he was a spectator. But he was mistaken.
"What do you think we should do? You're the only one with the professional credentials so I will hear you out first."
Izaya mumbled something about such an approach being unfair, he wanted the therapist to simply make him come across as ever so amazing, not to take the spotlight.
"Yagiri-san, I don't think I am qualified to-"
"You better make yourself useful."