He picked up the photo and smiled, he was half laid, half sat on a sun lounger on a beach in Cancun, an entomology text book in his lap as he smiled over the top of his sunglasses at the camera un aware that a twelve year old Jessie was about to dump a pink plastic bucket full of water over his head, her grin lit up her face and her blonde hair was pulled into two lopsided bunches.
He remembered that holiday like it was yesterday, a week away he'd said, a treat for her recent sat results and a break for him. They spent half the week visiting museums and touring the area looking for bugs, and the other half of the time on the beach water skiing or sun bathing.
He looked at the photo in the frame on his desk, the only one, taken last year at jim's bravery ceremony, they were stood side by side, arms linked as they smiled at the camera, he sighed, she wasn't his little girl anymore, and now she was getting married.
He would always think of her as that innocent little girl, whose bad dreams and fear of thunderstorms caused her to curl up beside him and fight to stay awake, who painted his nails pink when he was asleep just because she was bored, who he needed to protect.
He would always need to protect her, it was just instinct, no matter how old she got. He saw it sometimes, the flash of venerability in her eyes that continued to remind him that no matter how hard she tried to act it, she wasn't invincible.
And now she was engaged, Jessie Grissom who always said marriage was for losers who needed the stability just to show the world they were normal, to nick stokes. Grissom couldn't have picked a better man, and truth be told her string of one night stands had begun to worry him, nick was kind, caring and Grissom just knew he loved jessie, it reflected in both their eyes.
He sighed again, putting the photo on the desk and running a hand trough his hair, he worried about her, when she went out on a shout with jim, when she interview some of the sickest bastards on the earth, when she missed her ear nose and throat specialist appointments, when Mary rang him up to tell him she thought Jessie had anger issues from the recent attack, and could he get her to make another appointment?
"bad day?"
He looked up from the desk and stared at his niece, leaning against his doorframe she'd changed at the end of shift, into her dark blue skinny jeans and a purple tight t-shirt and battered converse, her hair loose ad her make up all but worn off, she looked younger than her thirty three years.
"something like that" he replied with a smile and she crossed the room and plunked herself down into the chair across from him.
"want to talk about it?"
He looked at her for a moment "I was just thinking Jessie, I'm really happy for you"
She smiled brightly at him "thank you, I was worried you wouldn't approve"
He raised an eyebrow at her and she continued "well your very protective of your csi's..." she joked
"seeing you this happy Jessie, I'd agree to anything"
Her eyes softened and she lost her joking stance, she stood and came to his side of the desk, standing behind him she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and chest and gave him a hug, he squeezed her forearms and she looked at the picture, she picked it up and sat on the side of the desk.
She laughed "your face when the water hit you was priceless, It was a brilliant holiday"
"I'm sorry we didn't have more Jessie, I worked too much"
"you still do" she grinned but she grew serious "when I was a kid, I was so proud of you, I used to tell everyone who would listen that my uncle was a big bad investigator who put the bad men away, that you were making Nevada safe for me, and I still am proud of you"
"but I couldn't make it safe Jessie" he shook his head bitterly and she out the photo down and squeezed his hand that lay on the desk.
"stop it! What happened was nobody's fault, no one knew what he was going to do, I'm still alive, I'm fine, so stop beating yourself up about it uncle Grissom"
He looked up into her beautiful face and managed to smile "and are you fine?"
There was no lying to her uncle, he knew her too well, she sighed and looked away "I'm getting there"
"nightmares?"
She turned back to look at him "no more than usual" she said blandly, her fingers played with the small gold bracelet on his desk, she tried to fit it back on her wrist and smiled "not quite small enough any more" she placed it back on the desk and looked up at her uncle.
He smiled gently at her "you have a different band of gold now jess" he took her hand and tickled her wrist like he used to when she was young, she giggled and batted his hand.
He stood up and swept her Into a hug, she gripped him back just as fiercely. "I love you uncle g"
"I love you to Jessie" he pulled back "now go, get some sleep, eat, soon be shift again"
She smiled "you too, I worry you work too hard"
He shooed her away and she laughed, he watched from his doorway as she strolled out of his view line, waving and out the door.
He worried, he always would, he thought of her as a daughter, not a niece, and he would always worry about her no matter what.