Chapter 26

The wonderful aroma of arabica beans filled the air as Neal proceeded to cut up some lemon squares from the still warm pan on the kitchen counter.

'Well, that's reassuring to hear' he said, glancing at his wife. 'So the stuttering is…'

'Basically, Dr. White says it's just anxiety from the pregnancy, nothing to do with her brain injury' Sara replied, reaching around him to grab some mugs from the kitchen cupboard. 'He said her lesions have continued to heal nicely since the last scan she had three years ago.'

'That's great news' Neal said, sounding reassured.

There was silence for a moment before he spoke again. 'So, did you ask her? About her due date?'

Sara let her eyes linger on his face for a moment before replying. 'No' she admitted with regret. 'I… I wasn't sure what to say. And I kept hoping she'd bring it up and I wouldn't have to ask her.'

'We're going to have to figure that out sooner or later' Neal insisted, taking out a tray and placing the plate of squares onto it.

They could hear soft laughter floating in from the back yard and they both turned simultaneously to glance at the young couple sitting out there, chatting.

'You have to admit, they do look awfully cute together' Sara declared with a smile.

'Goodbye Ben…' Neal said in jest.

'I guess… What do you suppose they're talking about?' she asked, continuing to stare.

Neal raised his eyebrows in response. 'What any self-respecting young couple talks about in the awkward first stage of a relationship - anything to keep the conversation going.'

'I don't remember us ever going through an awkward stage' Sara commented as she reached into the refrigerator for some cream.

'That's 'cause all we did in the beginning was argue' Neal reminded her.

'We did not!' she replied without missing a beat.

'And… I rest my case' Neal teased as he leaned over and kissed the tip of her nose.

'So tell me, what was your take on Iris Hastings?' Sara asked.

Neal let out a sigh. 'Well, she's one messed up lady. That list of stolen stuff I found on her kitchen table is awfully incriminating. We're just waiting on her financial records; Jones is looking into it for us.'

'Wow… so, Rebecca Hastings might be Winston Bosch's daughter?' she asked, incredulous.

'It's looking like that might be the case' Neal replied. 'But we have to be smart about what we do next. Iris Hastings looks like a loose cannon and when she finds out one of the items from the list has been recovered, there's no telling how she'll react. Did you find out who might have delivered that letter to your boss?'

'I checked the security log and no one came up to the 38th floor before Rebecca Hastings got in that morning' Sara reported.

'So she's lying…' Neal said as Sara shrugged in response. 'If her mother is the culprit, Rebecca is likely an accomplice and she probably brought the letter in herself.'

He placed the mugs on the tray alongside the cream and sugar and turned to look at his wife. 'Maybe that's our way in' he mused. '… through the daughter. She looks to me like she'd be easier to lean on than the mother.'

Sara's attention was drawn to the backyard as another flutter of nervous giggles was heard in the distance. Neal picked up the tray and was preparing to take it out to the deck when the patio door opened and Caitlin popped her head inside.

'Will and I are going to take Raffie out for a walk' she announced, reaching for the dog's leash.

'Okay' Sara said. 'We'll save you some dessert for when you get back.'

Will Allenby appeared, peering over Caitlin's shoulder and looking from Neal to Sara apprehensively. He hadn't expected to stay for dinner but once the Caffreys had found the two of them chatting away upon their arrival, they'd insisted he stay and join them for dinner. The two of them had been making goo-goo eyes at each other ever since.

'Have a nice walk' Neal called out over his shoulder as Will and Caitlin disappeared out the front door with Raffie in tow.

Neal glanced over at his wife and wagged his eyebrows once more. 'At least they have a chaperone' he said.

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'Yeah, that would work. My last exam is early on Friday morning' Caitlin said as she and Will settled on a bench in the dog park.

They both watched with interest as Raffie began to frolic with his doggie pals - as much as a thirteen-year-old dog could frolic.

'We could leave by noon' Will said, turning to face the young woman. '… if you can be ready by noon, that is. That way, maybe we'll have time to see Liam before his game.'

Caitlin nodded enthusiastically; spending four hours confined in a car with Will Allenby might be just the thing to help untangle the web of emotions she'd been feeling lately - about him… and about Ben Hartley.

'So, who else is coming with us?' Caitlin asked, glancing at Will. How come she'd never noticed how beautiful his eyes were up until now?

'Well, Jake and Renée are going up for the weekend but they want to drive up separately so they can stay and visit Renée's aunt for a few days and Mark's going to hitch a ride with them' Will explained. 'He might drive back with us though… if that's okay.'

Caitlin giggled at what she perceived to be nerves on Will's part. 'Whatever you want… it's… it's really fine with me. Thanks for inviting me to come along, by the way. I've been wanting to make it to one of Liam's games for a while now.'

'Well, unfortunately, this might be the last one, unless Syracuse pulls a rabbit out of a hat' Will commented, making mindless chatter about, of all things, basketball, something Caitlin had to admit she knew little about and had limited interest in.

He felt a knot in his stomach as Caitlin smiled coyly at him, her bright blue eyes full of mischief. Except for his ex-girlfriend, Will hadn't had much experience with women. Being alone with the pretty blond he considered Liam's sister had him rattled - in the best possible way, a strange combination of excitement and nervous trepidation.

Caitlin watched as Will's face began to relax and he smiled back at her tentatively. She had to admit it would be nice to see Liam again and this was a chance to figure out what those pesky butterflies in her stomach were all about before things became too serious with Ben.

'So your boyfriend won't mind if you come?' Will asked, fishing for information.

'Oh, Ben's not my boyfriend' Caitlin was quick to reply. 'He's just… we've been on a few dates, that's all…'

'Oh, okay. Well, as long as I don't come between the two of you' Will murmured awkwardly.

'There is no 'two of us' Will, don't worry about it' Caitlin said, noticing Will blushing somewhat.

Caitlin's nervous gaze moved to check on Raffie who was busy sniffing the butt of another large golden retriever; her tone of voice immediately morphed from soft and lyrical to loud and directive.

'Raffie!' she shouted. 'Get your face out of there!'

Will chuckled at the sudden outburst and shook his head; what in heavens name was he getting himself into?

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The faint hum of the television set greeted Neal as he stepped off the stairs in the dark of night. He followed the noise to the family room as it grew louder, a canned laugh track filling the air. He'd woken to the muted sounds, surprised to find Sara's side of the bed cold and empty - well not surprised, exactly, considering her obvious apprehension regarding her appointment with the cardiologist which was less than six hours away.

'Awww, honey… you didn't!' he groaned as he spotted his wife sitting on the couch, surrounded by food wrappers. She was holding a bag of Oreo cookies in one hand, a half full glass of milk in the other and there was an empty bag of chips and a half empty bottle of pop on the coffee table in front of her as well as some candy wrappers.

He took a few steps towards her and watched as she defiantly dunked a cookie in her glass of milk and stuffed the whole thing in her mouth.

Sara was hyper-disciplined when it came to food, had been most of her life. Back when her sister had disappeared and later, when things were spiralling out of control following the sudden death of her parents, she had learned that her food intake was one of the few things in her life she could control and she'd been somewhat obsessive about it since before Neal had even met her. Although she enjoyed a good meal and indulged in the occasional dessert, Sara was meticulous about maintaining control - which by all appearances, she'd totally lost in this case, sitting in the middle of their family room in the dead of night.

Neal knew that on those few occasions when she let loose and binged, she always ended up feeling terrible both physically and emotionally; it meant that her stress level had gotten so high, she'd been unable to control something as benign as how much food she'd ingested. He'd witnessed the phenomena on about a half dozen occasions over their twenty-five years of marriage and he knew he'd be picking up the pieces before it was all over.

'Babe, you know you're going to feel horrible in the morning' he said, taking the spot next to her on the couch.

She swallowed the cookie and chased it with a sip of milk. 'It's already morning…' she replied with a pout.

Neal sat back and brought his arm around her back, feeling her body tense in reaction to his gentle touch. Timing was key if he wanted to placate her and his timing was definitely off; he decided to sit back and wait for her to come around instead.

'I don't want things to change, Neal…' Sara finally grumbled defiantly as she offered him a cookie.

He took one and nibbled at it, studying her eyes - anger and fear all wrapped into one woeful, terrified look.

'Who says things are going to change?' he offered.

She gave him a death stare. 'Everything's going to change, Neal.'

'Hyperbolize much?' Neal said, in an attempt to deescalate the situation and get her to relax.

She scoffed and smiled despite herself.

Bingo, he thought; he'd found the chink in her armour.

'Babe, this is just a temporary situation. Once they fix the problem, you'll be able to do pretty well everything you're doing now' he reassured her.

Sara continued to pout, obviously not done with the pity party at which she was the lone guest. 'Except… walk through x-ray machines at the airport… and operate industrial welders… and electrical generators…'

Neal chuckled. 'Yeah, you're right… that'll put a real crimp in our lifestyle, right there' he teased as she finally cracked a genuine smile.

She seemed to relax a little and she set down the glass of milk and settled in closer to Neal, his arm instantly reaching out to caress her shoulder.

'Look, I know you're scared' he murmured softly. 'I'm scared too. I wish you didn't have to go through this but, honey, we've been through a lot worse. At least, there's a fix for this and once we get through the next little while, it'll all fade in the background of our lives. And when you and I are sitting at that little café in the Champs Élysées, this will all be forgotten.'

She looked up at him, still pouting. 'Promise?' she asked, like a child asking for some impossible assurance.

'I do, I promise' he replied without hesitation.

'My stomach hurts' she moaned, not surprisingly.

He scoffed. 'No kidding! I bought those cookies just two days ago… for Caitlin' he said, peering into the bag and noticing one lone Oreo left.

'Will you help me up the stairs?' she asked, rubbing her belly.

'I'll carry you upstairs if you need me to' he replied with a playful grin.

Sara forced herself to get to her feet and put out her hand for her husband, smiling at him. 'Yeah? No… I don't think you want to do that… maybe before the cookies.'

Neal stood and wrapped his arms around his wife. He held her tightly, his lips moving to murmur in her ear. 'Remember how scared we were when you got your cancer diagnosis… and how hard things got after I was shot' he recalled, his look faraway.

He seemed to snap back to the present and he brought his gaze back to Sara's face, running his hand though her hair. 'We can get through anything if we stick together. Anything at all.'

'You're right' Sara conceded with a shrug.

They watched as Raffie sniffed at the open package of cookies and snapped up the last one without even bothering to ask for permission.

Arm in arm, they headed back towards the stairs.

'Why didn't you come down before I demolished that whole bag of cookies?' Sara moaned as she held on to Neal for support.

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Cardiology was one helluva lucrative specialty if the offices of Doctor Jerold Hines were any indication. The doctor's office was located in a very fancy tower in Manhattan, not terribly far from Sterling Bosch, where leather and rich oak were on display throughout the plush waiting area. Neal and Sara settled together on an off-white leather love seat and let their eyes roam around the waiting room at the three other people waiting with them - all men over seventy years of age by all appearances.

Neal picked up a magazine - the latest copy of Vanity Fair - and began perusing it, trying to get Sara interested in an article about a new gallery opening up in the Chelsea District. She did her best to look like she gave a damn but he knew better and he finally gave up, setting the magazine aside and reaching for her hand instead. She let him but didn't bother to look at him, wanting no more than to feel her trembling hand in his strong, reassuring grasp.

At exactly 9:59, Sara's name was called and she and Neal were ushered inside, walking past what looked to be a handful of examination rooms and into an office with a large oak desk and an impressive collection of certificates and diplomas hanging on the wall. The ceiling was high enough to accommodate a small winding staircase that led to a large bookcase filled with textbooks that had probably not been opened in years.

Two dark brown leather chairs faced the desk and Neal and Sara were invited to take a seat and wait for the doctor, whose arrival, they were assured, was imminent.

It took but a moment for a skinny little man to appear from another door neither of them had even noticed - ostensibly leading to the examination rooms.

'Ms Ellis' he said, his voice booming, his personality seemingly much larger than his physique. 'I'm Jerold Hines.'

Sara smiled politely and the man reached around the desk to shake Neal's hand vigorously. 'You must be Mr. Caffrey' he said as Neal stood momentarily and nodded.

The doctor walked around his desk and took place in a huge leather chair that further dwarfed him. 'Joanne told me all about your situation and she made me promise to take extra good care of you.'

To qualify Dr. Joanne Cooper as a 'friend' was a bit of a stretch but she was certainly more than just Sara's GP and OB/GYN; she was someone in whom Sara had confided over the years, someone who'd seen the Caffrey family through a lot of hard times.

The doctor opened the file that already sat on his desk and he glanced down at what appeared to be test results, at least from Neal's vantage point.

'I got the results of your EKG and your echocardiogram from White Plains General. I'm sure the doctors there explained that you suffer from both bradycardia and tachycardia.'

Sara nodded as she recognized the two medical terms which, up until a week before, she'd never even heard of.

'There is good news, however. Your heart muscle itself is strong and in good shape, it's just that from time to time it loses its rhythm and starts to beat too fast or too slow. I understand you've been feeling light-headed lately' Dr. Hines added.

Sara stared ahead, speechless, likely trying to take in what the doctor was saying.

'Sara passed out on three separate occasions over the past few months' Neal volunteered in the absence of an answer from his better half.

'Unfortunately, that's an all too common symptom with this condition' Dr. Hines said. 'How have you been feeling since you were in the ER? Have you had any more episodes of light-headedness?'

'The other night, I was afraid I might pass out when I got out of the tub but… I didn't' she admitted as Neal gaped in surprise; although he'd been doting on her, she'd been circumspect and he hadn't been aware of the episode she'd just described.

'Well, a pacemaker will stabilize your heart rhythm and fix you right up' the doctor said, reaching for some papers off to the side. 'You are an excellent candidate for the procedure and you'll see, you'll have a lot more energy after we're done implanting the device.'

Sara had always been a very energetic person and although she had slowed the pace somewhat over the years, Neal couldn't fathom her with even more energy.

'More energy?' Neal said with a smile, hoping to bring down the tension.

'Yes' the doctor said, sensing an opening for one of his old standby jokes. 'Your wife will be chasing you around the bedroom again in no time.'

The attempt at humour seemed to go right over Sara's head as questions kept buzzing around in her head. 'What… how large is this… thing?' she asked tentatively.

There was instantly a diagram in front of her eyes as the doctor proceeded to describe the size of the pacemaker and the area in her chest where it would ultimately be implanted. Neal could see the colour draining from Sara's face as she stared back in silence.

'It's so… big' she whispered breathlessly.

'It might seem big but once it's implanted you'll all but forget it's even there' the doctor argued.

'Where exactly do you… implant it?' Neal asked.

Dr. Hines stood and walked around the desk once more, bringing his finger to rest above Sara's left breastbone. 'We'll make an incision right about here.'

'How… long of an incision?' she asked breathlessly.

'Approximately two inches' he replied.

'Two inches!?' Sara repeated, looking horrified.

Neal whipped out the piece of paper with the list of questions from his pants pocket and proceeded to take advantage of having the specialist at their disposal.

'How long will Sara have to wait for… the procedure?' he asked.

'Considering the fact that she's had some fainting spells and that Joanne is calling in a favour…' the man said with a smile. '…we could probably do it as early as next week.'

'Next week!' Sara said, her mouth dropping open. 'But…'

'I'm sorry, I was under the impression there was some urgency. Joanne mentioned something about you having a special occasion and she said you were eager to get this over and done with' Dr. Hines said, looking at both Neal and Sara.

'We… we're getting married in a few weeks' Neal began, noticing a look of surprise on the other man's face. 'We're renewing our wedding vows and we're having a big party and we were hoping Sara would be… back on her feet by then.'

'Well, there's no reason to think she won't be' the doctor asserted with authority.

'And we've planned a trip to Europe for the following week. Will Sara be able to fly by then?'

Neal was totally unprepared for the answer. Dr. Hines leaned in and winked at the two of them before answering. 'I don't know…' he said with a twinkle in his eye. 'Was she able to fly before?'

Neal relaxed and chuckled at the bad joke; the guy was just trying to help them relax, after all.

'Flying is absolutely all right' Dr. Hines said, more seriously this time. 'There are some precautions to take with airline security but in the absence of unforeseen side effects, there shouldn't be a problem.'

Neal smiled and relaxed for the first time since they'd entered the doctor's office. 'See, honey' he said, squeezing her hand. 'That's great news.'

Sara was looking shell-shocked as the questions and answers flew right over her head; she was glad Neal was there to take it all in.

'If all goes well, you should be back to your usual activities within a week after surgery' the man explained.

'How long will Sara have to stay in hospital?' Neal asked.

'Patients usually spend one night in hospital so we can monitor them but otherwise' he said, addressing Sara 'you can pretty well carry on with your life with very few restrictions.

'Are there things I won't be able to do?' Sara asked cryptically.

Again, the doctor couldn't resist. 'Probably most of the things you couldn't do before the operation' he ventured with a chuckle.

Seeing Sara's unblinking eyes, he continued. 'Ms Ellis, any kind of surgery is worrisome but I want to reassure you that this type of procedure is carried out dozens of times a day and you'll feel much better when it's done. You'll resume most of the activities from before without any problems.'

Neal and Sara exchanged knowing looks; Neal knew Sara was wondering about sex in particular and one of them was going to have to bring it up if they wanted reassurances. Neal opened his mouth to speak just as Dr. Hines spoke.

'One of the things couples often worry about is sex' he said as Neal relaxed. 'I want to reassure you, having sex is fine. You might not want to swing from the chandeliers on your first week, but you can resume your regular sex life within a couple of weeks, once your incision has healed.'

Sara swallowed hard; fear gripping her as she thought ahead to the coming days and weeks.

'What do you say? Shall we book a date for the procedure?' the doctor asked.

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'Are you sure you want to make the detour to Brooklyn. We can go straight home if you're too tired' Neal said, reaching out for Sara's hand and caressing her knuckles gently.

'No, I'm fine' she mumbled. 'I want to find out what's going on with Iris Hastings and besides, El said she made lunch for us.'

'Okay' Neal murmured, pointing the car towards Casa Burke. 'Maybe if you're up to it, we can drop in on Hope after lunch… better yet, we can pick her up and bring her home for dinner. I hear Cameron's working late at the gallery tonight.'

'Yeah…' Sara replied with a forced smile. 'That sounds good, honey.'

Neal could tell by the curt answers that Sara was still processing all the information they'd heard back in the doctor's office. They'd walked out of his clinic with even more literature to read and a firm date for her surgery and until that time, Neal was determined, more than ever, to keep a close eye on his wife.

TBC