Author's Note: Ok, I need to take a moment and comment about how talented Hugh Laurie is. I know i'm probably totally biased, but he never ceases to amaze me. If you've never watched Jeeves & Wooster (which I'm thinking most of you have if your avid Hugh Laurie fans) then you totally have to. His range of acting skills is just so amazing! Its my go to show now if I'm having a bad day. It's like no matter what's going on, watching an episode of that has the ability to make it all better.

Anywho...enjoy :)!

You Only Live Twice

Part 26

Passing Afternoon

Everything stopped.

The moment she'd closed the door, the entire world had become a slow motion picture in his head. House had taken a few heavy breaths of air with his eyes closed, unable to absorb the oxygen to his lungs, because his world had just ended.

An ache had formed in his chest with the slamming of the door, and made House stumble back.

It felt like death. That's the best way he could explain it. It was the only way he could understand it. Cuddy had killed him. She'd stabbed him in his gut with the weapon he'd given her- that afternoon she'd gone ot his apartment asking to give them a chance.

He'd known from the very start that this would happen, that she'd dump him without a thought because she would remember who he really was. Because people couldn't change, because in the end she'd realize that he would always be the same.

Yet, though he'd foolishly known what the outcome would be- House still felt blindsided. He'd let his guard down, he'd let himself trust, and feel and he'd been broken down. Cuddy had hurt him deeper than he'd ever thought possible.

Nolan had told him time and time again about trust, about letting Cuddy in, and the fact that he needed to trust her. It was misguided advice that he should have known better than to listen to.

He took a moment to let himself find his air, before getting back on his bike and taking out his phone to call the only other person he could still count on, Wilson.

xxxoxxxo

Wilson looked at his phone for the tenth time that late friday evening. Cameron and him had gotten in late to Saint Louis and had rented a car to drive to her parents house. He looked at his phone as, while they drank coffee with Cameron's family. Every call he'd gotten was from House, it was completely annoying. He knew what his misanthropic friend was trying to do- and that was ruin a lovely evening with his soon to be in-laws.

Or, he thought- It could be an emergency. But if it was an emergency, House would have left a voicemail, or texted him with whatever crisis had erupted. Which again, only left one possible conclusion that he was attempting to play with their mini vacation.

He rolled his eyes, and breathed out deeply, turning off his phone. He would not let House ruin his weekend.

xxxoxxxo

It was Monday, and there was an array of mess laid out over Cuddy's desk, all of which she'd been too distracted to deal with. The board was awaiting a response to a suit that had been filed against the pediatric department, she needed to attend an HR hearing with Dr Stein and Hourani- both of whom couldn't stand to be in the same room with each other anymore, and the hospital's MRI machine had broken again for what was now the third time. All because Thirteen had insisted on giving a seven hundred-pound man a scan. Then there was House's patient- who's condition kept declining while House was nowhere to be found.

She imagined, when she'd broken up with him the friday before, that he'd be immature and pull some stunt. What she hadn't expected was to hear absolutely nothing from him.

The House she'd come to know, wouldn't have given up on trying to convince her to forgive him, or would have defended himself and asked her to give him another chance that he so rightfully deserved. But he hadn't, which told her that her suspicions about the Vicodin were real. He'd been using, and he'd lied about it. But none of it really made sense to her, there hadn't been any signs, he'd been happy- they'd been happy. She nearly felt guilty for doing it, and had almost called him back and apologized that same evening.

But that irrational thought had come and gone before she could act on it. Instead, she'd been distracted by Madeline- who'd shown up at her feet after she'd closed the door on his face and had put her arms up, asking to be picked up.

A knock on her glass door broke her from her thoughts, and she looked up to see Foreman standing there with a tight smile.

"Come in."

"This is for you", he placed a folded piece of paper on her desk.

She picked it up with a small frown to Foreman, reading it, "House is on vacation?"

Foreman scratched the back of his neck, "I thought it was odd. I figured you'd know- since you guys are dating-"

"We broke up."

His eyes popped wide open, "Oh. Do you want to-"

"No. I don't want to talk about it, but thank you", she said with a small scoff, before looking at her computer screen and pretending to be busy.

After a few moments, Foreman was still standing there. Cuddy looked up, "Yes?"

He looked like he'd done something and was about to get in trouble, then pulled out another piece of paper from behind and handed it to her, "I also found this on his desk."

She took it, and as she began reading, realized it was the letter Wilson had told her that House's mom had left for him. She read it, frowning a bit at first, then smiled- and then felt the need to swallow.

"I- thought, that was the reason he was on vacation. I figured you'd seen it-"

Cuddy's nose flared a bit, "I didn't know about this."

She stopped reading, and put it down. Had he found out that Friday about his mom? He'd looked somewhat lethargic when she'd opened the door to him- but she figured that it was just the Vicodin that must have been in his system.

She cleared her throat, telling herself not to get sucked in, she could feel sorry for him, and still want him out of her life. She set it aside, and looked back up at Foreman, "Who else knows about it?"

"Well, Cameron was the one that found it. She and Wilson just got back this morning."

"I think we should respect House's privacy. That means not going off and telling Chase or anyone else about it. I assume I can count on you with that, right?"

Foreman gave her a tight smile and nodded once, walking out of her office. When he was gone, Cuddy sank back in her chair feeling her throat swell up in a knot.

xxxoxxxo

It was around noon, when Wilson walked into her office, with an expression that could only mean he knew about their breakup. He looked up at her and opened his mouth, but didn't know what to say.

Cuddy gave him an expectant look, "Spit it out, Wilson."

"What the hell happened?" he asked finally with his arms spread out, in question.

She shrugged, responding back to an email from HR, "You mean House? I broke up with him."

"Why would you do that?"

The first thing that came to her mind, was to say that it wasn't any of his business. What happened between House and her was only their business. But if he was asking her, that meant he hadn't spoken to House yet, which was in itself odd.

"Do you want the short version, or the long one?"

He scoffed, "I want the truth."

"I found a Vicodin pill on my daughter's floor. The floor that she crawls on, where she plays", Cuddy stressed, hoping Wilson would pick up on the severity of it, "He put my daughter's life at risk by relapsing."

"He told you that he relapsed?" Wilson asked with the raise of an eyebrow.

Cuddy shuffled through some papers, taking a deep breath, "No. He tried lying about it."

Wilson grabbed a fistful of hair in frustration, but didn't say anything- although it was certainly clear that he wanted to say something. He let out a big breath and collected himself, before looking back at her and asking, "Where is he?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. He had Foreman bring me an email he sent to him letting me know he was taking a week off."

"Well fantastic job Cuddy. You've really done it now", Wilson said sarcastically while actually clapping at her, "He's not home, he's not answering my calls, and Cameron checked his bank account online- he took out ten thousand dollars. He's gone."

Cuddy sat up straight, and gave wilson a frown, "He had that much in his bank account?"

"He's gone off the rails. Who knows where he is, what he's taking- or who he's with."

"He's acting childish. He knows you and yourfiancee would snoop and try to find him."

He guffawed, "You broke his heart."

She finally couldn't handle it anymore. Cuddy slammed the file she had in her hand, on her desk, and looked at Wilson through watery eyes, "He broke mine! I don't want him near me- I don't want him near Madeline."

"You can't keep his daughter from him."

Cuddy laughed, "House is not Madeline's father. He never has been, never will be, and he made that perfectly clear."

"He adores her. Maybe he hasn't said it in the most conventional of ways, but he loves her and he loves you. That's something huge for him. You can't take that away from him, it's all that he has."

"She's my daughter, not his and I have to do what's right for her."

"Keeping her from him isn't right for either of them. He was the first one to hold her, he was the only person who could console her for months. He needs her in his life- the both of you in his life."

She shook her head, "He kicked the both of us out of his life when he decided to go back on drugs."

Wilson sighed, "Those weren't his pills. I mean-" He struggled, "They belonged to a patient that he tricked. He gave him placebos, and House pocketed the real Vicodin. He just forgot that he had them in the first place."

"You expect me to believe that House had Vicodin on him that he didn't intend to take? You do realize who we're talking about here. This isn't some boy scout- we're talking about a pill popping misanthropic childish man, who only has regard for himself."

Over anything else, Wilson was House's best friend, Cuddy understood that. It just frustrated her that he didn't see how obviously guilty House was.

Wilson had his hands on his hips, and breathed out slowly, "You're right. He was those things, and he'll always be those things, but being with Madeline and you changed him. The House I've seen these past months- god Cuddy- I had no idea he even existed. You guys did that to him, and as screwed up as he is, he wouldn't have messed it up and that I do believe. So yes, I do believe that those pills weren't his, why else would he have told me about what he did to that patient?"

Cuddy scoffed, "Oh I don't know? Maybe because he's always one step ahead of us and figured if he got caught, he'd have something to pin it on?"

He nodded his head, "Ok, so maybe that does sound like something he'd do- but he didn't."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I can't", he said with a shrug of his shoulders, "But I just know he didn't relapse."

Wilson's faith in House was extraordinary and unfounded. And though Cuddy had every reason to fight him about it, and insist that she was right, a small voice began telling her that what Wilson was saying made more sense than the actual sensible thing.

xxxoxxxo

There was an essence in the air that was missing, and she knew it was House. Nearly a week had gone by since Cuddy had seen him, and she missed him. Not just because there were cases to be solved at the hospital and more than usual amounts of people dying, but at home with Madeline- they both missed him too.

His absence was everywhere.

The lack of him was evident in his lonely guitar he'd left in Madeline's room, that he'd use some nights when she'd get fussy, to lull her to sleep while playing Yellow Ledbetter. It was in the mess of books by his side of the bed, and it was in his infamous leather jacket he'd forgotten in her office.

Even Madeline could sense the void of his presence. Cuddy could tell in the way that she had become less exuberant, and wasn't shrieking or playful as much. In fact, the only time when she saw Madline's normal self was a few times when they both heard a motorcycle passing by, Madeline's head would shoot up with eyes wide open and look over at Cuddy, asking her with her eyes if it was him.

Then on a friday night, after struggling to have Madeline keep food down, that she had thrown up a couple times, Cuddy had gone to pick up her up from her highchair, to put her to bed- she'd seen just how much she missed him.

They saw a light pass by the house, and for a moment it almost seemed like it was him, because it slowed down as it approached their home, the engine of the bike even sounded like his- but a second later it had driven off, and Madeline burst into uncontrollable wails. She hiccuped a couple times in between tears, and mumbled something in her baby language.

It wasn't much longer after that, when Cuddy began crying too, and rubbed her daughter's small back,"Sh- it's ok baby, mommy's here."

That night, Madeline slept with Cuddy, and they both fell asleep crying and wishing House was there.

xxxoxxxo

She felt like a lifeless zombie, and had been like that the entire day. It had taken everything in her to put on a smile for Madeline, because it wasn't her daughter's fault she felt so miserable. She was the one that had pushed the love of her life away, for possibly unfounded reasons too.

Cuddy opened the medicine cabinet to grab her toothpaste, but became distracted by something else instead- and frowned. There was a brand new box of unopened tampons that Marina had bought for her.

She counted back, realizing she should've had her period three weeks ago, and panicked. The idea that she could be pregnant again ran rapidly through her mind, and she held her breath trying to think. Cuddy was on the pill, and House- ever so cautious had insisted on using condoms regardless, having said countless times that he didn't want to take any chances.

It was possible though, she told herself- that her body was still out of whack after having Madeline.

Her baby cried behind her, and Cuddy turned to pick her up. Madeline's eczema had gotten worse, and was on the back of her elbows. She could tell that she'd tried scratching it away, because there was a tiny bit of blood coming from one of the abrasions.

Actually, the closer she looked the more it looked like she'd rubbed her elbow on something hard and it had caused it to bleed. Cuddy panicked, wondering what it could have been from. House was always the one that knew right away what Madeline was up to, it's like he had a ticket into the way she thought. Cuddy didn't have that, and so she tried rocking her as she searched the room for some telltale sign of what had hurt her.

Only, as her cries intensified she began getting nervous. Madeline's wails always made her tense, and she froze not knowing what to do. That was always the point where House would take her and reprimand the infant until she stopped crying.

Cuddy closed her eyes for a moment to breath reminding herself not to get worked up. She told herself that Madeline was only a baby, she could handle it. But as she opened her eyes again, she saw her put a hand up to her ear, as if it was in pain. After that, Cuddy didn't waste time in grabbing her car keys, and heading to the hospital.

xxxoxxxo

After they'd given her something for the pain, Taub looked into Madeline's ear, and nodded, "Yep, she has an ear infection."

"I know that you idiot, she also has eczema. Don't you think that's too coincidental?" Cuddy asked impatiently.

"Both things are really common in infants, and so is your worrying. Believe me, there's no zebra here", he laughed, giving Madeline a smile. She looked at him blankly.

Cuddy was trembling and swallowed putting some fingers to her lips, "Don't you think she could have an autoimmune disease? She could have neuroblastoma-"

"Or it could be a food allergy. Before we start drawing out ridiculous ideas, I think we should test her to see if she has a gluten allergy. That's more likely than cancer or lupus." He scoffed, writing something down on her chart.

He could see that she was still unconvinced. If working with House had taught her anything over the years, it was that the most unlikely thing was usually the culprit.

Taub sighed, placing a hand on her shoulder,"Would it make you feel better to have me ask Dr House for a consult?"

Cuddy sadly shook her head and swallowed, "No.…He's on vacation. Let's run the allergy tests. You're right, I'm probably overreacting."

xxxoxxxo

"I'm concerned about House", Nolan said, sitting across from her.

Cuddy swallowed. She wasn't sure why, but Nolan intimidated her, sort of like a professor she'd had while at Michigan. She'd always been really cautious about what to say to him, or careful not to mess up, in fear that she'd disappoint him.

It was the same now, only she knew that she was partly to blame.

"We broke up", she blurted, deciding just to tell him, as if it were a bandaid that she was ripping off.

"That would certainly explain why he's missed both his sessions this week, and why I got this email from him earlier today", Nolan said calmly, placing a piece of paper on her desk, and pushing it towards her.

Cuddy picked it up with a trembling hand and read the one line.

You're fired.

She felt the corners of her mouth instinctively pull down in a frown, but cleared her throat and handed the paper back to Nolan, at least attempting not to look disturbed by it.

"He's just licking his wounds. He'll be back", She squeaked mostly trying to convince herself.

"From what I've gotten to know about House. I don't think he will on his own. I only came down to share this with you, because from what we've discussed during his sessions, your opinion is of the upmost importance to him. If there's anyone that can get him to come back, its going to be you."

xxxoxxxo

Cuddy's day had been filled with returning visits from Nurse Brenda, Wilson, Foreman, and even the intimidating Nolan. But the last person she expected to see walk through the door at the end of the day was a clean shaven House.

He made his way in rather quietly and completely un-abrasive, making it to a chair across from her. He even had a faint smile on his face. Cuddy studied him, looking at telltale signs of drug use or any other indicator that he was suffering, but there was none. Either that, or he was holding himself together very well.

It was kind of perfect, since she sort of felt the need to apologize for her completely cold behavior to him before. Maybe, she thought- their conversation wouldn't go so bad after all.

But she pretended to be bewildered by his great mood anyway, and frowned, "You look happy?"

"Oh, sorry. Is this better?" he pretended to pout, and she noticed a tiny hint of bitterness laced in his voice.

Cuddy gave him a look, and rolled her eyes, "Your patient is fine by the way. Foreman was able to figure out he had epilepsy in the end- saved the man's life."

"Good. He'll be a great replacement then."

She'd been in the middle of putting her outgoing papers in the outbox when she froze, and turned back to look at him, "What do you mean?"

"Foreman- He'll be a great replacement for me."

Her heart raced. "What are you talking about? Why would he need to replace you?"

"Because…because I quit", he said simply.

Cuddy waited a moment before responding, and licked her lips, "House…I know I overreacted. I shouldn't have just thrown you out like that. I didn't give you a chance to explain yourself."

"I know narcissism is a great quality of yours and everything- but this isn't about you."

"You can't just quit because we broke up-"

He looked stung by her words and scoffed, "We didn't break up, you dumped me. And I can, and I am. I had another job offer weeks ago, I just hadn't taken it because I had a reason to stay. I don't now, so-"

"House-"

He swallowed and shrugged his shoulders- looking around the office, "You were right. Everything you said was right."

"Wilson told me about what you did with the clinic patient, and how you forgot about the Vicodin in your pocket-"

House scoffed, "And you believed what I told Wilson? No, you were right. I relapsed- and it'll probably happen again and again. Actually- you did us both a favor. I can't believe I was suggesting that I should move in with you."

He noticed how taken off guard she was, but didn't give her a chance to speak up, "The truth is, its really perfect timing since the job offer is in another state. That's what I needed the week off for- to visit the new place I'll be working at."

Cuddy could hear her heart, and her chest began to rise and fall rapidly, "House-"

"I've already given up my apartment by the way. I'm going to be running the Infectious Disease Department at the Mayo Clinic. It's weird how it all worked out, isn't it?" he laughed, as if it were all amusing. When Cuddy didn't say anything, he stood up, "Anyway- I just thought you should know."

He was at the door of her office, when she stood up,"House. You can't leave-"

What she said, was what finally broke his cool facade, and he turned with his true emotions exposed for her to see, "Why not? What's holding me back?…Nothing. I have nothing here."

He stood there waiting, for her to give him a reason. To say he had her, that he had Madeline, and she needed to say it- she needed to tell him about not being able to function without him- but another thought popped into her head.

"The Mayo Clinic? That's…that's where Dominika Petrova works, isn't it?"

He stood up a little straighter and glared at her,"Nicely deduced. Yes."

"You're going to be working with her?"

"No, more like- for her. She got promoted to assistant Chief of Staff or something. I'm taking over her old role. Funny isn't it? I just keep getting girl-bosses. I wonder what her ass is like from behind?"He said with his face in thought.

Cuddy clenched her jaw, and swallowed- bringing her arms up and crossing them, "Well..I hope you'll be happy."

He looked at her then, almost sorry at what he'd said- struggling with his words, "Yeah, you too."

Before he could give her another chance to say anything else, House walked out of her office making sure to close her door slowly. And Cuddy was left, falling on to her desk chair, feeling the like the life had just been sucked out of her.