Chapter 26

Matthew was the true hero. He turned on the heat in the house, so it was just getting warm by the time Alfred came around. His fingers and cheeks were stiff, and he crouched before a vent in the floor and rubbed his hands together for a moment before trudging upstairs.

Alfred passed by his bedroom door, peeking at his poor bed that he missed dearly, but slowed at the sound of giggling from his brother's room. Ivan's giggling. Right after he got wrecked from an angel, he was giggling like a child.

Alfred pounded on the door. "Mattie, are you in there?"

Of course, he was, but it was a nice thing to do. Someone squeaked, "Eek!" Disgruntled whispering. Shuffling. A body fell to the floor. Matthew groaned in annoyance, "What is it, Alfred?"

"Dude," Alfred swung open the door, to his brother pulling himself from the floor, "we got to talk!" Ivan sat on the bed with a large gauze patch on the side of his face and even more tangled around one of his horns, but other than that, he didn't seem like he just got his butt kicked. "Preferably alone?"

Ivan waved, "Bye-bye!"

"Seriously?" Alfred asked.

Matthew rolled his eyes as he grabbed Alfred's shoulders, spun him around and pushed him out of his room. "Stay there, Ivan!"

"I was going to..."

Alfred started to get the heebie-jeebies and had to pace around. "Mattie, whatever happened, I'm glad you're okay, but things might get worse! What are we going to do?"

Matthew's eyes went super wide as he started to panic, "What do you mean what are we going to do? Is Arthur around? He is going to come here and...and like...kill us?"

Alfred stopped wearing holes in the floor to gawk at his brother. "Uh, hopefully not?! I mean, I did just spend a good chunk of my ear listening to him scream and bitch about your buddy being a demon and wanting to eat the whole world, but he's calmed down a bit for now."

"Oh, for now..." Matthew sighed and swung his head side-to-side, almost whining, "Al, this is so low-key. I don't know why everyone is making it into a big deal." He narrowed his eyes as Alfred started to jig. "Can't Arthur look the other way? Can't he leave us alone? We're not hurting anybody!"

That's what Alfred tried to tell Artie, but noooo. "He said that some other angel would catch on, if not for him." Antonio? Whoever the 'Big Wings' are? Angels didn't seem to like shutting their mouths. Matthew didn't hide his anguish. "I'm sorry, bro, but maybe a demon shouldn't really be here in the first place."

"Who says?!"

"He's a demon, man! If you knew this from the start, why did you keep him around instead of...I don't know, exorcising him?"

"What? How would you feel if I told you to tell Arthur to go pound salt?" Matthew exclaimed in obviously fake-adoration, "Oh, wait! You won't, because he's an angel. Beautiful, innocent, demon-punching angel."

Alfred snorted, "Beautiful and innocent? You're the one that's saying that." He shook his head, "Don't you think there's a good reason the angels work so hard to keep demons down in Hell, possibly where they belong?" He quickly raised his hands as Matthew's mouth angrily scrunched up, "I said possibly!"

Matthew eased, exclaiming, "Oh! You don't know?"

Alfred wasn't sure if that was sarcasm. "Uh...because they're known to terrorize people?" Hell, Ivan had a vendetta when he threw a sneaker at his head! Well, maybe it was a little rude, but the guy was trying to tear Arthur apart!

"As if there aren't enough people already doing that?" Matthew crossed his arms, making Alfred inwardly nervous, "The angels need humans, or at least they're in high demand." Alfred furrowed his eyebrows, and his brother lifted a finger, "I'll give you that some demons should be chased away and stay in Hell, but they put up a 'Keep Out' sign for every. Single. One of them. All because they're the only other natural competition they have."

Whoa, wait...what? Alfred had no idea where this nonsense came from to smack him in the face. He wound up grunting stupidly, "What? Huh?"

"Say...um, you have...a burger. Yeah! You have a burger sitting in front of you, and you really want that burger."

Matthew was taking about burgers now? Maybe the demon really did something to his brain. Alfred almost laughed, "Yeah, I'd want that burger, but what does-"

"Of course you would!" Matthew said really loudly, and Alfred clamped his mouth shut. Quieter, he continued, "but you can't have that burger if there's other people trying to have the burger, too."

Alfred was sitting outside and birds were picking at his food while it was still in his hands. "Well, I'd just shove it in my mouth!"

"It would be pretty hard to while everyone is trying to grab and eat it at the same time you are. You aren't going to get all the burger if that keeps happening."

Those metaphorical birds were now angels, clamoring over Alfred, and sticking their grabby hands everywhere. "So...you're calling us...people burgers?"

"Yes." Matthew gave a soft smile, as if pleased at the prospect. Pleased, like he was talking sense. "We're the burgers to the angels, and everyone else trying to grab the burger are the demons. That's why the angels try to keep the demons away. So they can get all the burger."

It was Arthur wreathing and jerking away from all these demons, fiercely trying to shove them away from Alfred, who was the burger now. It wasn't a pretty thought. Alfred dug around his back pocket for his phone. "You know what? I think Artie was actually right the whole time. Something definitely got scrambled in your brain."

"Wait, no!" Matthew slapped a hand over Alfred's screen so he couldn't call Arthur to zap his brains. "Haven't you ever asked Arthur why he's hanging around all the time?"

"We're working together to help people, Mattie! What do you think we're doing?"

Matthew groaned and threw his head in his hands. "Al, please, just hear me out, okay? I know it's great to finally know and to have something more to life, and maybe Arthur's a really good guy to you, but the main reason they're like this is because they feed off of us!" He scrunched his face as he slowly took his hands away, "Not all zombie-like, I mean, they like...being around and bathe in our good vibes or something."

"Artie never said anything like that." Alfred blurted, "They like worrying about the souls growing and stuff!" Matthew steadily stared, probably having no idea what he was talking about. "Uh...where'd you hear that from anyway?"

Matthew huffed and puffed, darting his gaze to the ceiling. Alfred already knew before he said, "Ivan. Wait, wait, wait, before you start freaking out!" His voice grew fast, even though Al wasn't going to freak out. He had more chill than that. "The angels have that 'no-demon' policy because they don't want them to eat that burger while they're eating, but Ivan's not eating any burgers! I'm not going to be demon chow anytime soon. It's not like that!"

"Pfft, you said demon chow." Alfred had to get that out of the way. He straightened to be all serious, "Well, even if all that feeding stuff is true, and I guess Arthur and I have even more things to discuss, I don't want Ivan eating your burger!" Strange euphemism. "Or you! Or anybody! So...make sure he doesn't!"

Matthew groaned in annoyance again, but this time, it was a little bit funny. "He's not going to, Al! I already told you he's just visiting out of curiosity! And he's over a burner. Remember? That's why he went through all...this to disguise himself. It was the only way he could hang around without anybody trying to kill him."

Alfred put in, "Hey, that was self-defense on Artie's part. Your guy literally tried to sky-dive on him. He almost dove on me!"

"Uh, because Arthur had no business snatching me out of my own home?"

"He was doing his job?"

"Let's not get into this right now."

"Yeah, fine."

Matthew took a deep breath and wiped a hand over his mouth. "Al," he grew quiet. Quieter. "All I'm asking is if you could talk to Arthur about allowing Ivan to stay here. He'll stay covered up while he's on the surface, and he definitely won't be eating any humans."

"Aw, jeez, I hope not!" Alfred tried to get serious again, "Mattie, that's not up to me to decide. I mean, I'm going to try, and trust me, I've been trying all night, but Arthur's freaking about the other angels finding out and getting involved. Or what if Ivan slips up? You know, I don't want to see any horrible crap happening to any of us, but..."

Alfred trailed off, staring at his brother blinking rapidly and making a bunch of funky faces. "Please. Al." Now, Matthew was super-duper quiet. He cleared his throat and tried a little louder, not exactly looking at him in the eyes anymore, "There has to be something. He's...he's one of the only friends I manage to make and keep. I-I don't want to lose him over this."

"Are you...are you crying?"

"No! Almost. Does it matter?!"

"Whoa, I just..." Alfred squinted at Matthew's eminent meltdown. "Are you sure you're just friends? Friends are important, too, but you're fighting tooth and claw about this!"

Matthew quickly glanced over his shoulder to the empty hallway before hissing and swishing his hands, "Yes, we're just friends! I just care about him! A lot!"

Alfred clamped his hands over his head and his legs danced, "Dude! Dude, you totally got the feelings! The Feelings!"

Matthew looked around like something was going to come out and attack him. "Keep your voice down!" He shoved by his brother to get away from whatever he was freaking out about. "I said we're just friends!"

Alfred spun around, excitedly whispering, "Everything makes sense now! This is so much better than that possession crap Arthur was spewing out! Of course a bitter pigeon wouldn't get it!"

Matthew wasn't as excited, "It would only be worse if you told him that. Arthur wouldn't believe a demon has The Feelings, or if someone has legit feelings for a demon. If I really did!"

"Nope! No!" Alfred couldn't help but jig and groove with good ideas forming to their peaks in his head. "Maybe not a demon, but two people having Feelings for each other! It's simple science!" There was a flaw in his theory, "Darn it, if he only weren't a demon."

Ivan was still in the bedroom, recuperating from getting blasted by angelic light beams...

"Dude!"

Matthew jumped, "Dude, what?"

"Okay, okay, this is going to sound pretty stupid!"

"What else is new?"

"Come on!" Alfred flapped his hands, not really paying any mind. "What if Ivan wasn't a demon? I mean, what if we can make him into a...not-demon?"

"What, turn someone into something they aren't? I don't think you can do that."

"Ha! Ha, ha! These are angels were talking about, Mattie! Not scientists! We could like, maybe neutralize his demonic thingies! That light Artie does, what he was doing when our dudes were, you know, it can...how do I explain it? He said it temporarily weakened Ivan, and all his darkness got washed away!" Alfred reenacted with his hands throwing out, "Arthur was all like, 'Pew!' and 'Pah!' and 'Whoosh!' and Ivan was like, 'Ahh!' Maybe something with that could do something and could get Arthur off your back!"

Matthew almost smiled. "That's amazing, but would Arthur do it for a demon? For Ivan? Or...me?"

Alfred dropped his kung-fu moves. "I'm going to see what he says about it. I swear if he still is all gun-ho about this afterwards, we're going to have to like, tie him up and leave him somewhere to stew about it."

"Or throw a brick at him!"

"Yeah, you could do that, but let's try talking first."

Matthew giggled, cheeks going pink. "Yeah, sorry. You know, it would probably be easier to do the thing than to get them to do it."

"Ha, you probably got that right!"

Alfred grunted as his brother threw his arms around him. "Thank you so much, Al!"

"Aw, you're welcome, Mattie!" Alfred drummed his hands against Matthew's back. "You freaking sap! Where'd you run off to last night?"

Matthew let go with a big smile on his face. "Hell and back!"

"Hell?! You seriously-"

Matthew's bedroom door flung open and bounced off the wall as Ivan leaped into the hallway with a big growl. Because they bro-hugged? Alfred scoffed as Matthew warily approached him, "Are you seriously growling at me?"

Matthew glanced over his shoulder, and his equally bewildered look morphed into a nasty scowl. "No, not you." He held an arm from his side, in front of Ivan. "Behind you."

Alfred already knew from the tinglies against the back of his neck. A cold hand grasped his forearm and tugged away from his brother and the demon. "Oh, hey, Arthur!" He let out a short laugh, "We were just talking. You know, like I said I was going to."

"It took a while." Arthur grumbled, practically against his back. "Just...checking...in."

Matthew curled his nose as Ivan steadily glowered past Alfred, and a low growl drifted across the hall. "You made a point, Arthur. Just keep back for a little bit. Please?" The growling grew louder as the demon bared his teeth, until Mattie elbowed him in the stomach. "I need to discuss some things with Ivan before anybody does anything. Is that okay?"

Before Arthur could respond, Alfred gasped, "Yeah! I got some stuff we need to talk about, too!"

Arthur let out a dramatic groan, "Do we? Haven't you annoyed me enough tonight?"

Alfred turned around and put his hands on his waist, "Look who's talking, you nasty dove! Getting your feathers roughed up. You need to chill out and talk it out for once!"

"I tried that!"

"Once today!"

"Hmph! We're leaving!" Arthur grabbed Alfred's elbow, and a bright light swathed over their heads. The feeling of falling punched his stomach and he tried to flail his arms, to shield them over his face as cold air whipped around him. He couldn't move. At the very best, he pried open his eyes. Hundreds of green eyes flickered back and forth against tens of feathered wings wrapped tightly around his body.

Alfred couldn't even freak out if he wanted to. A second later, he fell again. Thankfully, a springy mattress caught him instead of stony concrete. A dark room. Quiet.

A glowing body fell onto his.

"Whoa! Arthur!"

The angel groaned, and tried to push himself away. "S-sorry...why...why did you look?"

"No! It's all right! Don't worry about it." Alfred latched onto Arthur's arms as he wobbled and clutched his head. "Sit down! You look like you need it!"

Arthur still tried to squirm away anyway. "I'm fine. If I sit down, I won't get back up again."

Alfred uncertainly let him stumble toward the dresser, quickly getting to his feet to follow. "How about an ice pack?"

"No, I need...I need to take a shower. A hot one, before we decide to do anything."

"You sure?" Alfred weaved side-to side, unsure what to do as Arthur propped himself against his dresser and pulled open the top drawer. "You need help with anything?"

"What, like washing myself?" One side of Arthur's mouth curled in a half-hearted smirk as he pushed away for the bathroom. "No, Alfred, I can do that just fine myself, but thank you for asking."

"That's not what-"

The door shut.

Alfred stuck his hands over his eyes and groaned. He sought the bed in comfort, but if he let himself to the confines of blankets, then he wouldn't be able to get up ever again, either. Minus well raid the fridge in the meantime. Into the kitchenette, snooping around the spiffy counters, Al opened the fridge, and...

"Oh, my God." It was emptier than Matthew's brain on a Monday morning. Milk, water, a small amount of cheese slices, some apples in the lower drawer. That's it. "You have nothing to eat?! What are you!"

There was no reply. Actually, there was no sound at all. Alfred rushed to the bathroom door. The light was on, but the water wasn't going. He pressed to the wood, straining his ears for any sound.

For a moment, Alfred wondered if Arthur was even in there anymore, gone back to the Bonnefoy house and-

Something light hit the floor.

It had to be clothes.

He shouldn't have thought so lowly of his friend.

A heavy sigh. It was too easy to imagine the way Arthur rolled his head back, putting a hand to his shoulder in weary concern as his eyes slid close after a long day.

He wanted to be in there.

He wanted to be with Arthur.

Alfred ripped away from the door, pacing around the kitchenette with his hands clamped onto his face. He circled the wacky-blue cabinets, trying to entertain his eyes on the nicks and scrapes on the cheap tiles.

Tea.

Hey, Arthur loved tea! Yeah, Alfred should definitely make some tea. What a great idea! Something to do! The snippy parrot would appreciate it after everything. All good conversations happen over tea. He peeked at the door, but quickly glanced away as the shower kicked to life.

They needed to talk.

Alfred's heart took some of the pots and pans in the cabinets and started to bash them around his poor head.

What if he was a person-burger? With Arthur 'feeding' on him the whole time?

Ew.

Then, why would Arthur have been so stubborn about getting close in the first place? Alfred nodded to himself. If burgers walked around, he would have tried to beckon one closer, let it get comfortable, before commencing chow-time. Not zap its buns and call it an idiot. He found himself grinning to the floors.

No, Mattie and Ivan came first. Matthew, who was not possessed by this supposed big, bad evil cretin of Hell, whose fist was as sharp as his wit against angels that messed with him. A cretin that wore heels and ate chocolate covered potatoes. A match made in Hell. Ha-ha.

If someone had to get the sappy ending, it should be those two dummies. Alfred vowed to give it to them.

When Arthur opened the bathroom door, Alfred had a big grin and a steaming cup of tea waiting for him.

"What's..."

"It's for you. Go and sit down. There's a lot to say."

Arthur couldn't (and wouldn't) fight a smile. Seeing it made everything worth it in the end.

Alfred joined him on the bed, doing all the talking as his friend contently nursed his cup close to the bags under his eyes.

"Mattie and I talked. I mean, what else would we be doing? Ha-ha. Um, so, yeah, he isn't possessed. Like, at all. By the looks of it, it's the other way around, and we came up with something I think that can solve all our problems..."