When In Mystic Falls

Chapter 25- Already Lost

Bella's P.O.V

I sighed as I knocked on the door of Edward's room. I felt a little nervous because this time I knew it would be different than before. It would be final. There would be no going back after I broke it off with Edward for the last time. I felt, in my heart, that things would never be the same between us again. We'd never be the Bella, who was obsessed with Edward and couldn't live without him, and the Edward, who was overly protective and Bella put up with that, ever again. Maybe it was for the best. I think that we hadn't been the same since I'd met Damon Salvatore.

Damon Salvatore. His name brought a painful ache to my heart. I didn't know what to say or do concerning him. I was blinded by his love but I wasn't powerless like I used to be with Edward. My relationship with Damon was different than that of mine and Edward used to be. My relationship with Damon was healthy. I loved him, but I could survive without him. I was stronger than I had been before I came to Mystic Falls. Damon had made me become stronger.

I paused a little as the door swung open on its own. I pushed it gingerly with my hand, trying to wonder why Edward didn't stand by the door when he pushed it open. I'd seen Alice and Jasper and Rosalie and Emmett in the lobby hanging out and Edward wasn't with them so I knew he was here alone.

"Edward?" I called once, my voice breaking a little because I knew he wouldn't forgive me after what I was going to say.

When there was no reply, I pushed the door open so it was wide open and stepped into the room. I decided to close the door so that nobody outside could overhear and so that we weren't interrupted. Any of the Cullens would hear our conversation and back away, thinking we were reconciling or something. They always wanted the best for their brother.

I bit my lip, whilst walking slowly forward. I was going to get what I wanted to say across to Edward if it was the last thing I did. I precariously leaned into the bedroom, tilting my head and letting my eyes quickly scan the area. An inhumanely pale and beautiful guy was sitting on the bed, a mop of copper waves on the top of his head. He glanced out of the window, silent and totally unmoving as he peered out of the window. It was Twilight now.

I tiptoed gently to his side and perched down cautiously on the bed beside him, pushing some hair out of my eyes.

"Remember when it was Twilight and I told you it was the safest time for us?" Edward whispered, a few seconds later. His voice was so tinged with nostalgia it broke my heart a million times over.

"Yes," I replied, crisply, breaking the silence that had ensued. I remembered that night. I had been so in love with Edward it was unhealthy. He'd made me weak.

"I was the luckiest person in the world then because I had you," Edward murmured, whirling around quickly and stroking my cheek a couple of times with his thumb. The touch was soothing but I couldn't allow myself to fall back under his spell. Not when there was so much to lose.

I grabbed his hand, gently bringing it down so that it rested on his lap. "I… I can't do this anymore," I informed him in my most confident voice. I felt a single tear make its way out of my eye and pondered its reason until I knew. I had finally come to my senses and was going to follow the true course of my heart.

Edward sighed, a broken resigned sound. "You love him, don't you? You love… Damon?" He said the name with such revulsion you'd think he took his life away from him. Knowing Edward though, he probably thought he did. He took me away from him.

"Yes," I spoke slowly, closing my eyes for a second before opening them and letting them linger on Edward's perfect face. Still the face of an angel. "I am in love with Damon,"

I pushed a strand of hair away from my eyes and watched his reaction.

He scowled but then scoffed. "He isn't good enough for you," He snapped, suddenly in front of me. He pulled me swiftly to my feet and stared straight into my eyes. His eyes were desperate and darting as he stroked my cheek another time. I noticed they were a dark topaz, with specks of black in them, meaning he hadn't hunted for a while.

"Bella, you need someone who will love you irrevocably. You need someone who will cherish your heart and your soul," Edward started slowly, in a manner than made me feel that he was reciting some sort of speech.

"Damon will. But I don't want him to cherish my 'soul'. I want to be a vampire. I want to be one of you. I've wanted it since you told me you were one, and even before that. I'd read Anne Rice books and think to myself; wouldn't it be amazing to be immortal? I never fit into the human world. I was never one of them. How many times do I have to tell you that I want to be turned before it gets engraved in your thick skull?" I shouted, pushing Edward away. I was being overly emotional but this was how I felt and I couldn't hold it inside me any longer.

His eyes flashed with something along the lines of hurt and concern at the same time. "I want to protect you. I care about you," He insisted slowly in the manner that suggested he was talking to a five year old and explaining to her why she couldn't have that extra piece of candy. It infuriated me even more.

"Screw protecting me! It's made me weak, Edward. God, even my ditzy mother could see that there was something unnatural about our relationship, something unwholesome. It was demeaning to me; I was the inferior one. I was always so diminutive. You always talked to me like I was a baby. We are over, Edward and there's absolutely no going back," I said, feeling the trueness of every single word as I sent them flying across the room to Edward who was receiving every blow with annoyance. He needed to hear those things though; he needed to know how I truly felt after I'd kept these feelings bottled in for so long.

"I can change. I can be whoever you want," Edward replied, his face creasing with pain and making a pain cut me through the stomach. It killed me to hurt him, but I had to continue. I had to end this once and for all.

"That's the problem Edward," I gulped, "Only Damon can be the one I want," I muttered, as another tear made its way out of my eye and down the valley of my cheek.

I walked gradually towards Edward, kissing his forehead softly before I started walking out of the room. He screamed my name, at first with hope then with heart-wrenching pain that made me feel sick and flipped my insides over with guilt. I kept on walking, the tears gushing down my face. I knew if I stopped and turned back I'd ruin all that I'd said. I was finally free.

I opened the door to my and Alice's room and collapsed on my bed, crying my heart out. I didn't want to think about the reason of my tears; the fact that this scene happened more or less exactly a while ago before Edward had left me, except this time, I was telling the truth.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I woke up to the sound of light chatter. I sat up carefully, realizing that someone had covered me with a blanket and had changed me into my pajamas, even. I looked across the room and saw that Rosalie and Alice were fighting over something in their angelic soprano voices.

"No, she should wear this on the plane," Alice complained, holding up a pink sweatshirt. Rosalie had a dark blue one in her pale hands.

"No, I think the blue one looks better on her. Besides, you know Edward likes blue on her," Rosalie winked at her sister, who giggled a little.

"Uh, hello? She is here," I announced, as I jumped out of bed and walked towards them. They had suitcases loaded with my stuff and Alice's stuffed inside of them. They were packing for something. Why? We still had a couple of days left in Mystic Falls, didn't we?

"Good morning, Bella," Alice exclaimed, rushing over to hug me.

Rosalie sufficed for a mere nod in my direction as she slipped Alice's pink sweater choice carefully into the suitcase and zipped it up. I hugged Alice stiffly and nodded back at Rosalie.

"What the heck is going on?" I demanded, looking around the room and realizing that anything and everything that belonged to us had been packed into our suitcases.

"We're packing, birdbrain," Rosalie said indifferently as she started gathering some of Alice's make-up from the bottom drawer of her wardrobe and slipping it into the open suitcase.

"And why is that? We still have like a few days left," I reminded them, folding my arms across my chest and perching at the foot of the bed.

"What? No, you see Edward rescheduled our flight a few days earlier. He said you absolutely had to get back today," Alice explained, topaz eyes darting to me before they turned back to the packing.

I felt anger flare up inside of me. "Oh my god, seriously? I don't want to leave. I want to stay," I yelled, my voice rising a few octaves.

"Don't yell at me," Alice said, calmly, as Rosalie excused herself from the room to go to Emmett.

"I can yell all I want. It's a free country! Why is he doing this? It's because of Damon and me isn't it?" I growled, putting my hands on my hips and glaring at her. I knew it wasn't her fault but I needed to take out my anger on someone or I'd go insane. I couldn't keep it all pent-up or else I'd become a maniac and maniac Bella wasn't pretty. Catatonic Bella was way better.

"Edward feels that he's losing his soul-mate," Alice replied simply, unaffected by my sudden outburst. She folded the dark blue sweatshirt and handed it to me.

I threw it back at her. "Well, he's already lost her!" I exclaimed, angrily. "And I'm freaking sick of you picking out all my clothes."

Alice's eyes widened. "What's wrong with you, Bella?" She asked me, sounding hurt but I was too angry to care.

I marched over to my suitcase, unzipped it and pulled out a gray sweater, black miniskirt and some gray tights. "What time's the flight?" I asked, coldly, without even looking in her direction.

"In a few hours," Alice said, and I could see her out of the corner of my eye watching me warily.

"Fine, but I have to go do something first," I spoke, starting towards the bathroom so that I could change in peace.

Alice came towards me, "You're going to see Damon?" She accused, but I just merely ignored her.

"Oh and Alice, in case you didn't notice this in your visions, Edward and I are never getting back together even if he's the last person on this planet." I spoke coolly as I closed the door and started to get ready to go out. I was planning to head to the boarding house to tell Damon about our departure. Even though he'd told me that he didn't want to hang out anymore, I had to let him know that we were leaving early. Frankly, I just wanted to know what his reaction to this surprise news would be.

A/N: Thanks to all those who reviewed on the last chapter and I hope y'all enjoyed that!

Oh and about Jake/ Bonnie and what they're going to do. In chapter 18 (about midway) there's a little bit about their plans so if you've forgotten go check that out...

And about their story, I still want to know if you guys want an indepth story about Bonnie and Jacob and what's gonna happen or not…

Thanks and please leave a REVIEW!

Lily xx

Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or Twilight.