Kelly looked over at the clock, 124AM. She had been sitting on Kris' couch the last hour since Sabrina left and she still couldn't get her mind to realize everything that was going on. In less then 12 hours she would be burying her best friend and comforting her sister. She lifted the glass of wine and starred almost helplessly into the golden liquid looking for answers. Answers she knew she would probably never find.
She placed down the glass and stood up from the couch knowing she needed to get some rest. She walked into Kris' room to check on her and could see instantly she was in the through's of a nightmare as she tossed on her bed.
Laughter was heard all around her but as she turned every direction she saw no one. But the sound of a familiar voice twisted her around to see the smiling face of her big sister sitting proud and confident in the chair as she was interviewed for her big race return.
Kris looked around and realized she was right there in Italy watching everything live, yet she couldn't move.
Jill gave her a smile as she turned back to the reporter asking her questions about her return to racing after a hiatus
"Jill this race means a lot to you from what I hear."
"It does. I few months a go I didn't even think I'd be back racing after a plane crash I was involved in. but with the love of my family and friends I am here now to get my season started."
"You had a great race the other day and it seems there isn't much you need to do to keep the pole for the race this weekend."
"I did have a great race. But I have to keep racing with the mind I don't have the pole and I need to get it."
"Well, welcome back Jill and good luck today and this weekend. Anything you want to add?"
"Just one." Jill turned towards Kris. "I'll win the pole for you. I love you always and forever lil sis."
Jill set the mike on her jumper to one side as the camera crew bustled around her. Getting off the stage she stood a few feet from her sister, "You know I love you right?"
"Always and forever. Just like when we were kids."
Jill smiled as she reached out to give Kris a hug, "I love you. No matter what happens I love you. Just remember that." She pulled back and looked at her sister. "It's not your fault Kris none of this is. Just always remember that I love you." Jill turned and walked towards the garage where her car was before turning one last time to see Kris standing there with her pit crew.
Kris watched as Jill's car was pushed up to the start and her sister went through all the checks and balances to make sure everything with the car was good to go. She gave her pit crew the thumbs up and looked across to the pit directly at Kris. She held her thumb up before mouthing the words "I love you."
Kris blew a kiss towards Jill "I love you too." As she gave her a thumbs up in return as the flag for qualifying dropped and she watched as Jill emerged from the start line quickly.
Just before Jill left the start she kissed her hand and blew it towards her sister.
Kris reached out as she had when they were younger and they would blow kisses at each other. Catching it in her right hand she then placed her hand on her heart as Jill took off down the first stretch towards the pole.
Kris stood in the pits with the crew as Jill made her way around each corner. But as she approached the hairpin they all knew something was wrong as Jill's car crashed into the wall into a ball of flames.
Kris looked across the track in shock, "No. Jill! NOOOO!"
"Jill! NOOOO!" Kris cried out as she bolted up on her bed the sweat glistening off of her.
Kelly quickly sat on the bed and pulled Kris into an embrace as the young woman bolted up with tears in her eyes.
"Ok Kris I got you its ok. I'm here." She held Kris tight in her arms as she felt Kris cry into her shoulder. "Ok. Ssshhh Ok honey its ok, let it out."
Kris held onto Kelly like a life line a she cried for the loss of her sister. Finally pulling back she wiped away the tears and looked at her friend.
Kelly looked at Kris worried, "You ok?"
Kris sniffled, "It was like I was standing right there when it happened. I was watching her do her interview and then she waved to me right before she left the start line." She wiped away more tears before looking up to Kelly, "She blew me a kiss like when we were kids."
It was then Kris looked down and realized her right hand was placed on her heart; holding her sisters kiss close to her.
Kris leaned against Kelly as the tears still ran down her face, "She was right her Kel. I could reach out and touch her."
Kelly looked over and could see the pain on Kris' face, "It was just a dream honey."
"It was like I was standing right there and we blew each other a kiss like we used to as kids. And she said she would always love me. It's like she was here right now and she was telling me she would always be here for me."
Kelly didn't know what to say as Kris leaned against her, "She will always be with you Kris. With all of us." She wrapped her arms around Kris, "Let's get some sleep honey. Knowing your sister, she will never forgive us if we have circles under our eyes for her services."
Kris made no effort to move so Kelly guided her down towards the bed and pulled the covers over the two of them.
Kelly woke several hours later to the smell of bacon wafting through the beach house. She looked down and saw Kris still deep in sleep as she got off the bed gently before pulling her robe around her and she quietly exited the bedroom.
Walking in the kitchen she watched as Bosley twisted the bacon in the frying pan before cracking another egg into the other pan.
"Bos. What are you doing?"
John Bosley spun around and looked at Kelly, "Breakfast what does it look like?"
Kelly couldn't help but laugh as her friend and somewhat boss made them breakfast. She turned to the sound of the glass door opening and watched as Sabrina walked in the beach house. "Hey."
Sabrina took one look at her friend, "Rough night?"
"Nightmares." Kelly answered as she took one of the coffee cups and filled it up. She saw the bag of clothes on the couch, "Thanx for that."
"No problem." Sabrina looked at Kelly, "Nightmares?"
Kelly looked at Sabrina and then over to Bosley, and then proceeded to tell them what happened the night before.
Kelly showered and changed into the clothes Sabrina brought her from home and sat down to the breakfast Bosley had made them. Kris had joined them while Kelly was in the shower and slowly ate her eggs.
Excusing herself from the table she went into her room and sat on the bed starring at the clothes she should be putting on.
After 20 minutes Kelly stuck her head through the door way and walked in the room sitting on the bed beside Kris.
"You plan on going to Jill's service in your robe Kris?"
"Save me from changing." She said
Kelly smiled, "Reminds me of Jill at the academy graduation." Kelly recalled and laughed, "It started at 8AM and there was no way your sister was getting up for it. With less then five minutes to get ready Bri and I were starting to wonder if she was going in her robe."
Kelly looked at Kris, "She finally got up with like two minutes to spare and was in her uniform and out the door before Bri or I could say anything."
Kris looked at her dress hanging on the hangar at the back of her door, "It just seems to make it so final."
Kelly put her arm over Kris' shoulder and drew her close. 'It is in its own way. But we both know she isn't far as long as you keep her in your heart. Keep her memories inside you." Kelly reached up and brushed a tear off Kris' face, "You're sister loved you so much Kris its that love that will help you get through today tomorrow and every day after that."
Kris leaned her head on Kelly's shoulder, "I just miss her so much."
"I know you do honey we all do." Kelly looked once again and wiped the tear off Kris' face, "Come get ready. You don't want to be late." Kelly gave her a quick hug before getting up and leaving the room.
Bosley and Sabrina watched as Kelly went in to see Kris and waited patiently till she came back out a few minutes later. Kelly just gave them a weak smile before going back to the kitchen and finishing her coffee.
Kris fastened the clasp on the bracelet around her wrist and held it for just a moment as she took in a memory. The bracelet had been her mothers and Jill had insisted Kris have it. She took each tangling gold heart in her fingers and ran another finger over the engraving on each one. Each one barring a name, Mother, Jill and Kristine.
She didn't even look up when she felt the hand on her shoulder.
"Its time to go Kris." Sabrina said quietly as she waited for her young friend to move towards the door.
Kris went through the motions as she left the house and the four of them stepped into the limousine Charlie had sent for them.
The limo pulled against the curb and the black door slowly opened. Bill reached in and took the hand of the first person to exit the car, Sabrina. He wrapped his arms around her speaking to her quietly has each occupant stepped from the car.
Kris stood and looked up to the steeple before her and closing her eyes took in a deep breath. She felt two set of arms snake around her from either side and knew who it was. Then taking in another breath she walked up the steps together with Kelly and Sabrina on either side of her.
The three angels and Bosley sat in the front pew with all their friends and family around them. Kelly spotted Mike and Little Jake sitting in the front in the other pew. Kelly knew Kris wanted Mike at the front as she knew how much both he and his son had meant to her sister.
Resting on a small table at the front of the church was a picture of Jill with a single red rose resting along beside it. The flowers adorning the altar ranged from small to large stand up bouquets. White and pink lilies spilled out of the vases with their fragrance reaching out to the congregation.
Kris sat and barely heard a word of what the minister was saying. She caught a few words regarding family and what it meant to Jill. She heard Bosley talk about the first time he meet Jill and she came to work for them. How her smile always brightened up a room. She listened how both Kelly and Sabrina had first meet Jill at the academy and how after a food fight Jill started in the mess hall the three were inseparable. She listened as they spoke of her passion for sports and the love she had for her younger sister Kris.
As the two sat back down beside her the three of them shared a hug as the minister closed the service with one last prayer and one last hymn.
You can shed tears that she is gone You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back Your heart can be empty because you can't see her You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday You can remember her and only that she's gone You can cry and close your mind, or you can do what she would want:
or you can smile because she has lived.
or you can open your eyes and see all she has left.
or you can be full of the love you shared.
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
be empty and turn your back
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
By David Harkins
Kris stood up and went towards the picture of her sister. She ran her hand along the top of the frame before placing a gentle kiss on her fingers and touching the photo of Jill. "I'll miss you Jill. More then words will ever say. And I know eventually the pain in my heart will leave but it will always have a hole where you lived." She placed her red rose on top of the one sitting there already, "I love you."
They filled from the church and out to the church foyer. Kris stood between Kelly and Sabrina as mourners passed by her each giving her a hug and their love.
~~ ~~ CA ~~ ~~ CA
He stood at the top of the stairs and watched as she got in the limo with her friends. He smiled to himself when he saw the pain on her face the sadness in her eyes.
~~ ~~ CA ~~ ~~ CA
Kris sat out on the sad watching as the waves crashed in against the shore. She could hear the faint sound of voices behind her coming from the house she knew people had come by to pay their last respects to Jill; to share in tales of her life. Kris has stayed and listened for as long as she could before she had to get away.
When's he first came down to the beach she reached for her surf board wanting to get lost in the waves. But she stopped herself and instead grabbed Jill's board. Now as she sat on the warm sand her sister's board lay resting beside her. She looked down at the puck of wax in her hand and gently ran her hand along the edges. "Still buying the cheap wax Jill. No wonder I always beat you." She said to no one as she stood up and walked towards the waters edge. .
Kelly and Sabrina took off their shoes and wandered out to where Kris was..
"You talking to yourself?" Sabrina asked as they came up beside her.
Kris looked at the wax in her hand, "No." she held the wax up for them to see, "She always bought this cheap stuff. Then she would wonder why she was always wiping out."
Kelly held out two pieces of paper, "These fell from your jacket when I went to hang it up."
Kris took the two pieces and unfolding the first one she read it out loud, "If you need anything Angel you know where to reach me. Your sister was a very special person to all of us and we will miss her. Charlie." She looked at her two friends, "He was there." it wasn't a question but they all know their boss had stood before them. Hugged each of them and slipped the note into Kris' jacket knowing she would find it later.
Sabrina Smiled, "Somehow I'm not surprised."
Kris unfolded the second paper and once again read it aloud, "I stand here within reach of revenge. I stand here and watch as you mourn your sister much as I did several months ago mourning my father. I have given you the time to grieve but know that the final act will be mine. You killed my father that night in the house and I have in turn killed your sister. Now it's your turn. FD"
Kris looked between her friends. Her sister's killer was at the funeral. He had stood in front of her and paid his last respect to her. "Not if we get you first." She looked one last time to the wax in her hand before she pulled her arm back and threw the wax out to sea as far as she could toss it. Watching as the ripples of the water faded away.