July 29th 1912
Rose's POV
You know that wonderful feeling first thing in the morning, in those first few moments before you're even fully awake, when your mind is a happy, fuzzy place in which no problems or worries lurk? Sometimes I think that's what heaven must feel like. Blissful obliviousness, just numb, blissful happiness, as if that first waking moment could last forever, when nothing in the world exists outside of the warmth of your bed, safe inside your lover's grasp.
I've never mourned that feeling any more than I did the morning after Cal's ambush. As my sleepy mind awoke from it's haze, I felt myself come crashing down from my happy dreams to a reality of worries and fears. One by one, all my troubles reawoke inside my memory. Cal's victorious grin as he walked through the front door. The sound of the gunshot ringing in my ears. The feel of Honey's blood soaking through my skirt as I attempted to spare her life.
I glanced my eyes down to the pile of clothes on the floor where that skirt now lay, the once soft lilac material coarse, torn and stained with bright red patches. Just seeing it brought the events of last night back to me as clearly as if they were happening now. Unable to look any longer, I turned around and leaned close into Jack's chest. I breathed deeply, filling myself with his comforting scent. My movements seemed to have woken him, for I felt his arms tighten around me as he leaned down to place a soft kiss on my shoulder.
"I've got you" he whispered to me. "You're safe now"
"I know" I replied, looking up to drink in the sight of the face and I thanked the heavens every day I was blessed to wake up to. But unlike every other morning, when he would smile back at me with equal happiness, today he looked sad. Sad and guilty. I could tell that he was still blaming himself for what happened last night.
"I meant what I said last night, Jack" I said. "It wasn't your fault"
"I should have been here" he replied firmly. "Even if Cal hadn't shown up, I still shouldn't have walked out on you after something so stupid"
I winced at the sound of that name.
"Please don't say that name. Not here. I don't ever want to hear that name here"
Jack looked slightly puzzled as I pushed myself up in bed to wrap my arms around his neck.
"The only name I ever want in my mind in this bed is yours"
With one hand running my fingers through the hair on the back of his head, I leaned in to kiss him, relishing the feel of his soft lips on mine. He returned my kiss hungrily, his hand stroking down my side, caressing my skin. I sighed happily at his touch, his hands on my body, his fingers now running delicately along the side of my thigh. His kiss travelled from my lips down to my neck, making me shudder with happiness as he nipped slightly at the skin there.
What felt like an eternity later, I came crashing down once more, but this time it was a fall from the stars themselves down to soft cloud, where I lay, sunken into the bedsheets, breathing heavily, in time with Jack, who had collapsed on top of me in a similar state of stunned bliss. I could feel his heart pressed against my own, our beats pushed against each other, thumping in time together.
Maybe I was wrong. Maybe this feeling is what heaven must be like.
We must have drifted off to sleep together, our bodies intertwined, because the next thing I became aware of was the sound of a hammering on the door. I gasped in fear as I jolted awake. My mind was quick to jump to the conclusion that it was Cal, back to try and take me again.
"Stay here, Rose" said Jack as he jumped to his feet and threw on the clothes he'd discarded last night. As much as I wanted to tell him to stay safe up here with me, I was too frightened to summon the words before he'd gone downstairs to investigate.
I listened hard as I heard him open the door, and was surprised to hear Jack's relieved, almost happy voice, thanking someone.
"Rose! Come down here!" I heard him call.
I shoved a dress over my head quickly and ran down the stairs to see what was going on.
From the stairs I could Jack and Dr. Grimwood carrying Honey into the living room.
"Oh my God!" I gasped, rushing down to join them. The two of them lay her down gently onto the sofa. She was consious, but obviously groggy, although her tail thumped happily against the sofa as I crouched down beside her. I threw my arms around her head as gently as I could restrain myself to; I badly wanted to squeeze her tight, I was so overjoyed to have her back alive, but at the same time, the shaven patch on her side and stitched up wound worried me that she may be in pain.
"I've given her a shot of morphine, so I doubt she's in pain, although probably just pretty disorientated" the vet explained. "Cost me a night's sleep but I got her patched up in the end"
He did indeed look tired. I could see the circles under his eyes as he instructed us on making sure Honey didn't overdo herself for the next few days while her body healed. He would be back at the end of the week to take out the stitches. I hated the way the ugly black thread stuck out against her golden fur, it was like a constant obvious reminder of how she had nearly sacrificed herself for me. But as long as she would heal, I could put up with it.
"I usually sort out the bills at the end of the start of each month, so just drop by the surgery in a few days and we can sort it out then" he said when Jack brought up the subject of payment before he went on his way.
"Thank you so much for saving her" I thanked him as he left.
"Just doing my job" he tipped his hat to me and left, saying he had a cow to see to at one of the farms.
For the rest of the morning, I scarcely left Honey's side. She was rather disorientated, but she seemed to appreciate my being there.
"You sure you're not getting leg cramps down there?"
Jack joined me on the floor in front of the sofa after about an hour with a plate of toast for me. I only then realised that I hadn't eaten any breakfast yet.
"I don't want to leave her" I said as I nibbled a slice of bread.
I glanced over to the kitchen, where a lot of the mess from yesterday still lingered. Jack noticed my unease as I saw it.
"Hey, why don't you go down to the village for a bit? We could use a couple of things from the grocery store anyway. I'll get rid of all that while you're gone"
I glanced aprehensively at Honey, who had fallen asleep. Part of me was desperate to get some fresh air, but otherwise...
"Don't worry, she'll be fine" Jack reassured me. "I'll keep an eye on her. Go on"
It did feel good to get out of the house for a bit after all that had happened the night before. The walk down to the village was surprisingly relaxing, for all it could sometimes feel a bit long. However, when I made it into the village centre, I soon wished I'd stayed at home.
It's unbelievable how fast news can travel in a small town like Chippewa Falls. Before I'd even made it to the grocery store I was surrounded by people wanting to know what had happened last night. The rumour mill had already been working overtime, and I was told several different stories of what had happened to me. One version had me being the one who had been shot. Another version told of how I had shot Cal myself with his own gun. The worst versions were those that said me and/or Honey had died. For all the townspeople were somewhat excited by the events of last night (such dramatic events were rather rare in such a quiet place), mostly everyone was just relieved to see I was okay.
Thankfully I managed to slip into the grocery store descretely, since Elizabeth was busy serving someone else at the counter. I quickly gathered what I needed and joined the queue to pay, bracing myself for the questions I would have to answer again. But to my surprise, all I recieved was an awkward smile and a good morning, which I quietly returned. Only once she'd handed over my bag of items did Elizabeth gently asked if I was alright. I told her I was fine and thanked her for her concern, our exchanged looks assuring her that I was thankful for her descretion.
As I began to head back towards the road home, I sighed as I heard a familiar voice calling my name.
"Rose, is that you? Come over here, dear!"
It was Mrs Ryan, calling from the doorway of her boarding house.
I sighed and began to walk over. A lovely woman but notorious gossip, no doubt she wanted the full story of last night's events as well.
However, I was in for a surprise.
"Oh Rose I'm so glad I caught you!" she said excitedly as I entered, barely giving me time to speak. "How are you dear? Oh there are such stories going round about last night... Well never mind that now. Come, there's someone here I'm sure you'll want to see!"
She ushered me through the hallway to the kitchen. When I saw who was sitting at the table, bolt upright, gripping her teacup with the daintiest hold possible as though it were filthy, I dropped my bag of groceries to the floor in shock.
It was my mother.
"Oh, Rose!" she exclaimed in shock. Whether it was from seeing me again, or from the embarrassment of my having clumsily dropped my things, I'll never know, though I strongly suspected the latter.
"Mother" I replied icily as I calmly bent down to gather my things.
"Oh isn't this lovely!" said Mrs Ryan, clearly under the impression that she had orchestrated a happy reunion.
"I'm sure it must have been a while since you've seen each other?" she continued, more uncertain now that the expected loving hugs and happy greetings had not materialised"
"Indeed it has" my mother replied, her voice as cold as always.
"Mrs Ryan, do you think we might have a moment alone please?" I asked stiffly but politely. The old Irishwoman nodded, clearly puzzled as to what was going on, but resisted the urge to ask and left us alone in the kitchen.
"What on Earth do you think you're playing at, you silly girl?!" my mother seethed under her breath once we were alone. Getting to her feet, she approached me, arms open, only to grasp me by the shoulders and look at me up and down. Not exactly the loving hug most daughters could expect from their mothers after months apart. "My goodness, you do look a fright!"
"How lovely to see you too, Mother. You do look well" I replied sarcastically.
In fact, here in Mrs Ryan's modest kitchen in this little country village, she looked drastically out of place in her prim dress and feathered hat, both clearly having cost more than the average weekly wage for most of the townspeople.
"Enough of your silly games, now, Rose" Mother continued. "This has gone on long enough, I say. All that to-do on the Titanic was bad enough. But the tragedy of it all must have been a shock, I'm sure. Nevertheless it's time you came to your senses and ended this whole saga right now. All being well, I'm sure Cal will have sorted out this misunderstanding with the authorities up here by the end of today, and we can make our way back to Philadelphia tonight. Heaven help me if I'm to spend another night in this place. Now, I've brought you a few things from home to change into. I'm not bringing you back to civilisation in that hideous cheap dress, of all things. Now, if you can just see reason and patch things up with Cal-"
"Excuse me?" I could scarcely believe my ears. "It's bad enough that you attempted to sell me to that son of a bitch in the first place, but now he has broken into my house, attempted to kidnap me at gunpoint, shot and nearly murdered my dog, and you want me to just patch things up with him and carry on?!"
I shouted my words at her, not caring at all whether or not Mrs Ryan or anyone else in the world could hear me. I was far too furious with my mother to care who heard our business. My mother's eyes grew wide with shock as I shouted at her, occasionally darting them across the room as though she was sure someone were listening.
"Really, Rose, do calm down" she hissed, still keeping her voice down for God knows what reason. Habit, I suppose. "All that goings on last night was really your own fault. Running off into the middle of nowhere like that, after the Titanic. It was ridiculously childish of you. It's damned lucky of Cal to even want to keep this engagement going! You should be grateful!"
"Grateful?! Do you honestly even hear yourself, woman?!"
She almost grimaced in horror as I roared at her. She had likely never been spoken to so crudely in her life. But it was high time someone did.
"That man is a downright dangerous criminal, and still you expect me to marry him! You truly are a pathetic excuse for a mother!"
She opened her mouth to reply, but I halted her. I wasn't done yet. It was time she heard some home truths.
"You are a vile, selfish, self-obsessed woman, Mother. You don't even deserve that title, since you clearly know nothing about your own daughter if you think I would ever say another civil word to Cal for as long as I live. Oh, and by the way. I never did tell you the truth about how I met Jack, did I? He pulled me back over the railing of the ship after I slipped, after convincing me not to throw myself into the ocean. You claim to have my best interests at heart? Well those best interests drove me to wanting to kill myself, before Jack saved me. As far as I'm concerned, he and our unborn child are the only family I have now, and quite frankly I couldn't care less if I never set eyes on you again. Good day, Mrs. DeWitt Buckator"
I turned and made my way to the door, before I decided to add one last message.
"Oh, and just to let you know, I am almost three months pregnant with your first grandchild"
Her face was an image of deeper horror than it had been when I last saw her, staring after me as I ran away from the lifeboat. I photographed the image to frame in my mind as a little victory prize before I picked up my bag and marched from the room.
In the hallway stood a very shocked Mrs Ryan. She had clearly heard the whole argument. But then it was almost impossible not to.
"Thank you for your kind intentions, Mrs Ryan, but I would rather prefer if my mother and I did not meet again" I said politely, my tone as gentle as though I hadn't just unleashed a storm of eighteen years' worth of penned up emotions inside her house. She stared open-mouthed as I left her house, closing the door gently behind me.
I breathed deeply as I walked home, somehow feeling as though a great load had been lifted from my conscience.
Oh I do love a good family bust up xD