Disclaimer: The characters in this story belong to Stephanie Meyers
A/N: Special thanks to EdwardsFirstKiss for making this story one hundred percent better than it would have been without her skills. The best beta in the universe!
Thank you so much Donna. You are awesome!
Bella Pov
I didn't have time to dwell on the unbearable pain that had taken residence in my chest. I attempted to think about any, and everything, other than Edward, and the suffering that I'm sure to endure without him. Somehow, on the cab ride home, everything reminded me of him, which made me realize just how lonely I really am.
As we passed a multitude of shops, and restaurants, I noticed which street we were on, and I winced from the pain that shot through my chest at the memories that this street provoked. I knew it was coming, and I should have looked away, but I guess the masochist in me felt like being sucker punched in the gut again tonight. I look right at Edwards hotel, as if he would appear out of thin air, and relieve me of my struggle to hold on to reality.
He was my savior that night… in a way, and he has done so many wonderful things for me since then. Not once did I say thank you for his rescue, or breakfast each morning, or having his driver take me where ever I needed to go. Not once did I say thank you when he's visited me at the bar with flowers while I was working, just to see me smile. His text messages were always sweet, and simple, just checking to see how my night was going, because he knew that I slept throughout the day.
Not once did I utter my appreciation for him constantly looking out for my well-being, even when I lacked the spirit to look after myself. Not even once! Yet, he never uttered a complaint. He wanted to take care of me. He wanted to be my knight in shining armor, and I had let him. I had had no problem with being blissfully ignorant, as long as I had my faithful Sex God.
Except he wasn't faithful, Bella!
I bow my head at the thought that I'd just had, and wipe away my tears. Only I know why I am unable to look out of the window. It's because it is yet another reminder of my time with Edward, and this one in particular stings like a bitch. He loves Thai food just as much as I do, and we had spent many of his lunch breaks there, eating, sharing food, and sharing stories. We slowly pass the Thai restaurant, and I try not to look, but it's futile. My eyes land on a couple through the window of the restaurant. They are laughing at something that is apparently the funniest thing in the universe, because she's wiping at her fucking eyes, as if tears are threatening to escape. Faker! It can't be that funny!
Or maybe she's not faking, Bella, and you're just bitter!
Am I talking to myself now? Is that what I have resorted to? Am I going crazy? Is this an early sign of mental illness that will lead me down a path similar to my mother's?
I close my eyes, and take a deep breath. No! I'm not crazy!
Closing my eyes was apparently an even bigger mistake than looking at the Thai restaurant, because now green eyes are all that I can see. Just for the briefest second, his piercing emerald gaze invades my space, and fills up the holes in my broken heart. His beautiful face is forever burned into my memory and seems to bring me peace of mind in the middle of chaos, and turmoil. Even if he is the one that caused these feelings, he is also the savior that pulls me out of them.
I can see that damn laugh line, and that sexy curve at the corner of his mouth that gives me insight into his wicked thoughts. And oh god, that chiseled jawline that I constantly want to kiss and lick the way it deserves, because of its utter perfection. I can just imagine how sexy he looks when he clenches his jaw, or it ticks in anger, or irritation. My god, it's the sexiest damn thing I have ever seen in my life. HE is the sexiest damn thing I have ever seen in my life.
Fuck! Why can't I stop thinking about him? We're over! I made sure of that. He's no longer mine. I have no claims, and no rights to feel the way that I do for him, yet…the feelings are still here, and they are real. They are shouting at me to listen, if only for a second. But I don't.
I close my eyes more tightly, squeezing them until all I see is black, and I have effectively shut Edward's face out of my mind. I lean back against the seat of the cab, and listen to the music, just as Rihanna begins to sing "Stay," causing all types of emotions to bubble up to the surfaces. I've tried so hard to keep my emotions in check, but the song has me swiping at my face, to relieve the unwanted tears.
Fuck you, tears! Fuck you, heart! Fuck you, Edward!
"Can you please turn that up?" I ask through my tears, my voice cracking with each word. He looks back at me through the mirror, and nods his head. "Seems I'll be listening to music like this for a while" I mumble to myself. Then I have a thought that I haven't had in a while, and I suppress it, because nothing will ever drive me to smoke cigarettes again. I push the ridiculous thought away, and try to focus on the song, but it hurts, because it brings my thoughts right back to Edward.
I wonder what he's doing right now. I wonder if he realizes how badly he fucked up his third chance.
X
There was no more crying when I got to Jasper's apartment, or anything of the sorts. I didn't have it in me to cry anymore. Jasper had left for the library shortly after I arrived, and I couldn't be happier. The gaping hole in my chest was something that I had to deal with, so there was no reason to bring Jasper down with me during my pitiful mood. I made sure to hold back my tears before he had left, because I would hate for him to see me like this. He'd probably be pissed, and take off, looking for Edward; and that would just be another issue I had to deal with.
After sitting alone for thirty minutes on the couch, I realized just how badly I need to talk to someone. All of a sudden, I feel so alone, and I hate that. I pick up my phone, and stare at it, wondering why Edward hasn't tried to call me. Usually, he would call me ten million times, but not this time. He must realize just how badly he has fucked up.
I feel the tears well up in my eyes and a heavy weight press on my chest, constricting my breathing. God, I miss him already.
I call Rose, hoping to get a chance to talk to her because I really need someone to talk to. The phone rings, and rings, then goes to voicemail.
I close my eyes, hoping to slow the tears, but it's useless. A sob is threatening to burst from my lips, but I hold on. I don't want to break down. So I just sit there, staring at the wall, as tears trickle down my face. I don't bother wiping them away this time, even when they cloud my vision. I can't stop the tears from falling. I don't even want to. They are a reminder of how hard I have fallen, and how capable I am of love. Then again, they are also a reminder of Edwards's betrayal, and that thought causes the hurt to start all over again. Each time I think, and play it over in my head, wondering if I would have done anything differently, I get the same results. Leaving was the more painful option, but staying would have been the destructive one. Staying would have led him to believe that what he'd done was okay, and that it hadn't affected me...hadn't affected us. Regretfully, I had gone against one of my dad's golden rules; I had let myself be ruled by my emotions, when they're something that I have spent a lot of my life hiding from.
My dad used to tell me to not make permanent decisions, based on temporary emotions. This is one reason why I have never dealt with my emotions, even as a kid. I remember one of Charlie's lectures clear as day, as if he'd just said it an hour ago, rather than a few years back. It was during the time when my mother really worn on his patience, and he was growing tired of her acting out more viciously than usual. Some days were normal for her, and he would let her out of the room, but never when I was home. When she would act out, he would have these moments afterward, where he'd go on and on about how he wanted to take her somewhere to get her the help she needed, but then he would cry. He would cry because he knew, he just knew that getting her help meant he would not be able to see her every day, and that would break his heart. This was one of those nights where he'd go on a long rant about how he's just letting his emotions rule him, and that he and I both needed to be stronger.
"Don't hold on to temporary emotions. They're just there for a time, to weigh on your mind, and to eat away at your peace. Keep your peace, Bells, or one day, you'll look up and find yourself in a similar situation, and wonder just how the fuck did you get here. You'll go from watching the love of your life with your baby girl swaddled up all pretty-like one second, the next second, the love of your life is threatening to choke the shit out of your baby girl because she won't stop crying. Why wouldn't she stop crying?"
Then he would start to cry, and I would just sit there wondering if his lectures came from a place of real suffering, or if these were things that he had witnessed as a cop. Later in life, when I really got to know what was behind that last door in our home, everything clicked into place for me. We had lived in a home with the love of his life, and she had blamed me for being the reason she had lost her mind. Secretly, I think my dad blamed me too, but what could he do? I was the product of love in his eyes, and I could do no wrong, just like his wife. No matter how fucking crazy she was, he still saw nothing wrong with her behavior, until it was too late.
A knock on the door startles me out of my spiraling thoughts, and I have to shake my head to clear my mind, and focus on getting to my feet. I slowly stand, feeling sluggish and weighed down by the events of the night. When I open the front door, I'm both surprised and overjoyed to see Alice standing there.
"Alice?" I'm shocked. Why is she here, and how does she know where I live?
"Shit, Bella! Look at your face" she says to me, and I roll my eyes. She walks into the apartment and closes the door behind her.
"Why are you here?" I ask her. She ignores my question and walks around the living room to the couch. She takes a seat and looks back at me as she pats the cushion with her hand, silently motioning for me to come and have a seat. I walk over and take a seat next to her, eyeing her suspiciously.
"Edward sent me," she says simply. I feel the blade of the dagger in my chest twist and deepen, just from hearing his name.
"He sent you here to check up on me? How thoughtful." I wrap my arms around myself and look away from her. She is also a reminder of him, and I just can't stand to look at her right now. It hurts too badly.
"He said that you were hurting, and he wanted me to let you know that you're not alone. He didn't want you to be alone. His words, not mine" Alice says, then she lets her eyes roam the apartment.
"I'm fine, Alice. I don't need a babysitter," I tell her.
"A babysitter? You think I'm here to babysit you? Do you know how far away I live? Trust me, Bella. I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be here. He didn't make me come here."
"So why did you come?"
"Because he sounded fucking pitiful on the phone, and I figured you couldn't be in any better shape. Plus, I care about you," she says and rubs my arms, and I feel my tense shoulders loosen up a bit.
"You don't know me, Alice." I eye her skeptically, trying to find the underlying motivation in her visit.
"You are all he talks about, Bella." she tells me, and my heart leaps in my chest. "My family gets attached quickly, Bella. That's why we were wary of you. If being with you was just some way to get back at Tanya for all the fucked up shit she has done to him, we didn't want to get close to you," she lifts one shoulder in a shrug. "But mom has loved you since the first day Edward mentioned you. She thinks you're good for him."
"I'm not! We bring out bad qualities in each other. It's to the point where I can't stomach the person that I've become, and most of the time Edward just annoys the living shit out of me."
Alice laughs at that, and I half-heartedly release a laugh, joining her, and it feels...good! I feel good. I feel much better already.
We sit quietly for a minute before Alice breaks the silence. "Can you tell me what happened?"
"Edward didn't tell you?"
"No. He only said that he fucked up, and he's an idiot." She shrugs. "He also told me that he's going away for a while, but he wouldn't tell me where, or when he's coming back. He only said that it's the only way he can avoid coming here every day, and begging for forgiveness. He knows that you don't want to see him."
"He's leaving?" I ask in shock, and she nods slowly.
"Tomorrow evening. He's coming to brunch at mom's, and then he's leaving shortly after to check up on a few properties that he's been neglecting."
I nod in understanding because honestly, what else can I do. We're done. I shouldn't care what he does...yet I do. Fuck!
"Now tell me what happened. You confronted him about his lie?" she asks, and I let out a long sigh, before telling her the entire story, minus the 'I love you' confession. No one needs to hear that.
When I get to the end, and I finally take a breath, she begins to laugh...and laugh...and laugh. What the heck?
"Alice," I say her name so that she can come out of her laughing fit.
"Have you ever watched the show 'Friends' with Jennifer Aniston?" I have no clue what she's talking about. "Rachel, and Ross?" she tries to ring a bell in my head, and she's failing, because none of this makes sense.
"Wow. Have you never watched TV? It's one of my favorite shows. I swear by that show."
"Is there a point to this?" I ask her.
"Yes, of course. So in the show Rachel and Ross are dating, and they were having problems, so Rachel says that they need a break, which is what you asked for with Edward, right?"
"No, I asked for time. There's a difference." And there is a major difference. A break usually means 'break up' and I didn't ask for that.
"Not really, but whatever, let me finish. Ross ends up at a bar to cheer up, and he calls Rachel at home, and she has another man there, and Ross heard him through the phone. The guy was just her friend, though, but Ross didn't see it that way. That's sort of what happened with you guys, right?"
"No" I reply and then realize that I'm full of shit. It's exactly what happened. Edward got jealous because he saw me with Jasper, and we looked more than friendly. It's because sometimes I allowed myself to see Jasper as more than just a friend, but I found myself comparing everything that he did to Edward. We could never have had anything romantic because I would never allow it to happen. I was too stuck on Edward.
"Sure" she doesn't believe me. "So Ross hangs up, and he's pissed, which is how I imagine Edward was." she pauses. "You know what happened after that?" she watches me expectantly. "Sex, Bella. They have sex" she rolls her eyes at me.
"Is this suppose to teach me a lesson, or something" I have no clue where she's going with this.
"Yes! Edward called me the day that he had found you,"
"You mean the day he stalked me," I pipe in, and she makes a face at me.
"Quit interrupting!" The frustration that she feels shows through her voice and actions asl she practically stumps her feet. It seems childish, and I turn my head away, laughing at her. "I came over and found him in his office drunk. Heidi was there, which shocked me because she's supposed to be in California. She said that she needed somewhere to stay for the night and that Edward said she could stay at his place. Heidi said that he had told her that he was staying at the hotel, but he never made it. He got too drunk."
"I can't believe that he would even let her stay at his place after how she made me feel at his birthday party," I tell her, and she makes a face.
"Did you ever tell him how you felt about her? Guys are stupid, Bella. You have to be upfront. Otherwise, they'll keep doing dumb shit."
"It doesn't change what he did."
"I get it, Bella, I do. He lied to you. But don't call what he did cheating. You two were not together for an entire month. How does he know what you did in that month? Did you tell him? For all he knows, you were fucking around with a guy that you're living with. Whether you were having sex with this guy or not, is beside the point. Imagine how it looked to him" Alice says, and I actually start to see her point.
"But I-"
"No buts. How would you feel if you saw him on the streets with another woman, then found out that he was living with that woman? Wouldn't you think the relationship was over?" Alice is actually making sense, but it's upsetting to venture into that way of thinking.
"It's not just that, Alice."
"Then what is it?"
"He knew she had sent those texts, and he lied about it to protect her." That's what hurts the most. He lied to protect his mistress, whom he is still supporting, and probably fucking, and I hate it.
Alice shakes her head, frowning, before speaking again. "He isn't protecting her Bella. Nor is he still providing for her. She came back to Seattle because Jake took her back," she pauses, and looks up at me as if waiting for a reaction. She sighs when I say nothing, before continuing. "Besides, he only lied about it so that he wouldn't hurt you. He cares enough about you to try to avoid causing you pain. He's brutally honest with everyone else."
"So I should be thankful that he lied to me?" I raise my voice.
"No, I'm just saying that..." she sighs, and then her eyes widen. "You don't know what happened to Heidi. That's why you think he's protecting her."
"What are you talking about?"
"Bella, He can't really do anything about Heidi using his phone to text you because she's in the hospital. She tried to kill herself after he kicked her out the next morning. She wrote a note blaming everything on Edward."
"What?" I cover my mouth in shock.
"Heidi tried to kill herself. There was a big blow up at the hospital too. Jacob went off the deep end and tried to strangle Edward."
Oh no! "Jacob blames Edward!" My mouth is literally hanging open in shock. I want to ask if Edward is okay, but I can't do it. I can't say his name.
"Of course. Jacob wouldn't dare take responsibility for his failed marriage, and his wife's unhappiness." Alice's voice drips with sarcasm. "I don't know why he's so surprised? This wouldn't be the first time she's done something bat-shit crazy to get Edward's attention."
"Heidi left him for Edward." I've heard this story more times than I'd like too, and it's never been made clear what actually happened.
"No, Heidi left him for Tanya. They're bisexual." She shrugs like this isn't the weirdest situation known to man. "Eventually her plan worked, and she clung to Edward again."
"What do you mean, again?"
"I just mean that we all grew up together. Heidi has an unhealthy obsession with Edward, and he rejected her for Tanya obviously, because they were getting married. Heidi married Jacob to get Edward's attention, and it didn't work. Then she figured, why not get close to his wife, to get to Edward. She succeeded until you came along. Now, she's pulling this shit!"
I shake my head at the ridiculousness of it all. "Jacob thinks Edward stole Heidi from him, to get back at him," I tell Alice what I gathered from my conversation with Jacob the last time we had spoken.
"To get back at him? That's laughable. My brother doesn't give a fuck about Jacob, or Heidi. They're the ones obsessed with him." She actually laughs, and I just watch her, utterly perturbed by all of this, and not amused.
"Alice, none of this is making me feel better."
"I know, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry you're hurting."
"I feel a lot better with someone to talk to, but I really would rather not talk about your brother." I still can't say his name.
"Just one last thing, and then we can watch a movie, or do something else," she says, and I nod. "You two were on a break, Bella! Technically, you weren't together. That's something you should be able to move past. He doesn't give a fuck about her. He loves you." She blinks at me with a smile plastered on her face, as if her words solved the day. I huff loudly and avert my gaze. She's making light of this, making light of my feelings, and my situation. My heart is crushed, and I don't think his mere apologies can fix it this time.
"I don't want to talk about this anymore," I tell her, and she nods. Seconds later, we're flipping through channels on TV, looking for a good movie to watch. We settle on Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and we spend the night laughing our asses off. After hours of laughing like an idiot, I finally pass out on the couch. My last thought is of Edward, before falling into restless slumber.
X
The next morning, I wake to smacking noises, and giggling, and instantly know what's going on. When I stand up, and glance around the room, I realize that it's empty, but the kitchen light is on. I rub my eyes, in an attempt to wake up, and round the wall to where the kitchen is. That's when I see Alice sitting on the counter being kissed out of her mind by Jasper.
She's the first to notice that I've entered the room, and her eyes widen, as she pushes at his chest. He turns, and gives me an apologetic look.
"Look." Alice points to the stove where there's a rather fucked up looking pancake. I laugh, staring at it.
"Shit" Jasper rushes over and attempts to remove the pancake.
"Can't cook breakfast, and make-out at the same time?" I laugh again.
"Did we wake you?" Alice asks, her eyes worried, as she chews her bottom lip.
I shake my head no, but give her a look, and start walking back towards the living room. She realizes what I'm saying, and quickly follows me out of the kitchen.
"What's going on?" I ask, looking at her, then back towards the kitchen.
Her smile is bright and infectious. She looks heavenward, sighing happily in thought.
"Do you believe in fate?" she asks, and I raise an eyebrow. "I was supposed to be here, Bella. I was meant to meet that man in there."
"Jasper?" I ask incredulously. She nods, still smiling.
"He's amazing. We stayed up all night talking," she tells me, and I shake my head at her. I thought that she had fallen asleep when I had.
"Wow, well, I'm glad my misfortune brought you guys together."
"Well, now I feel bad! Geez, Bella! Your misfortune is your own doing. You can easily forgive and forget." Alice pats my knee.
"I'm tired of doing that." I've been doing it my entire life.
"You have to learn to let go. You also need to learn to set boundaries." She softly stresses the final word, and I roll my eyes.
"We're never together long enough to do that. He keeps fucking up."
"When he fucks up, punish him, but don't leave him. Not if you love him," she pokes me, and I sigh.
"It's hard, Alice! I'm hurt that he cheated."
"He didn't cheat," she shakes her head. I don't know why I'm even listening to her. She's on his side, always. She is Edwards's sister after all. Of course, she's going to stick up for him.
"Technicality."
"I'm going to make you watch that episode of Friends," she laughs, and I roll my eyes. "You two were on a break, and even if he tried to hurt you, think about the fact that he was hurting too. Did you think about that?"
"No, I didn't." I take a deep breath. "I want him to stop lying to me, and I want him to let Heidi fend for herself."
"Then tell him that! This is so fucking annoying," she tells me, and stands up, hovering over me.
"What is?" I ask her.
"People and their willingness to just give up on a relationship because of a few fuck ups. You would rather hurt being away from him than try to work it out with him, and be happy. How stupid is that?"
"Don't hold back, Alice! Tell me how you really feel."
"I did, and I'm serious! You two need to work this shit out for my niece, or nephew," she smiles, and I blink at her.
"He told you?"
"No, Jasper thought I knew, and he mentioned it. Congratulations!" she bends down to hug me, and I hug her back tightly.
"Thanks." I reply, and at that moment all I can think about is Edward's reaction to my news. All I can think about is how great of a father he is going to be, and how cute he'll look holding our baby in his arms.
At that moment, there's a knock on the door, and both Alice, and I look over towards the door. Jasper walks out of the kitchen to the front door and opens it.
"Delivery for Miss Isabella Swan." I try to peek out around Jasper, but I can't see around his body.
"The cart?" Jasper asks.
"There is food here for Miss Isabella." I recognize that voice. It's Edward's housekeeper. She lifts something, and then I hear the metal clanking throughout the empty hallway.
"Come in. You can put it next to the dining room table," Jasper says, and then he steps back to let the woman in.
"I have strict instructions to serve all of Miss Isabella's favorites, and to make sure that she eats." Mrs. Pierce says as she begins to set the table.
I fold my arms across my chest and roll my eyes. "Edward," I practically growl his name. Does he not think I'm capable of feeding myself?
"Maybe this is his way of saying that he is sorry and that he cares about you," Alice says.
"Look at it this way. At least now we don't have to eat Jasper's cooking." She snickers, and I shake my head at her teasing.
"I heard that," Jasper calls out from the kitchen.
"I didn't whisper it," Alice laughs louder, and I join in.
"Miss Swan," Mrs. Pierce calls, motioning to the plate, and I huff.
"Thank you for this, but you can leave. I promise to eat," I tell her, and she nods her head but doesn't quite move from her post.
"I must first call Mr. Cullen," she says before reaching out for the tray to retrieve what I can only assume is her phone. I sigh heavily, and dramatically.
"I promise Mrs. Pierce, I will eat. You trust me, right?" I squeeze her shoulders giving her a reassuring look. I know that she doesn't want to get into trouble, but I really don't need her lingering around watching as I eat. That's just a little weird.
She gives me a smile, and gently pats my cheek. "Sweet girl! He really cares for you. Do us all a favor, and do as he says," she tells me. I smile back at her, because she must know first-hand as his housekeeper, just how demanding he can be.
"He shouldn't have made you do all of this." I look around at all of the food, and there is a fuck-load of it. My eyes widen, and I shake my head.
"It was no problem, Miss Isabella. He's not at home much, so there is not much for me to do these days. I was just happy to be made useful," she smiles brighter, and I return it.
"Thank you, Mrs. Pierce." I say, and both Jasper and Alice follow suit with genuine words of gratitude. "And please, call me Bella," I tell her.
She smiles, and waves as she starts towards the door, but she stops and then turns abruptly.
"Ah, I almost forgot. This is for you" She hands me a piece of paper.
"What's that?" Alice asks, coming over close to me to get a better look.
"I don't know yet, Alice."
I open the folded paper and read:
Bella,
I need you to eat, take your vitamins, and I instructed Mrs. Pierce to pack ginger for your nausea. I hope it helps. Take care of yourself. If not for me, do it for EJ.
Love
Woody.
I smile down at his note, shaking my head at the fact that he managed to sound bossy in a letter.
I skim the note again, and my smile grows when I think of our note passing experience in the past. I have half a mind to send a note back with Mrs. Pierce… actually, I think I will.
"Wait, Mrs. Pierce!" I call after her, right as her feet are reaching the threshold. I grab a pen off of the bar and turn his paper over to write out my own note.
Woody,
Thanks for breakfast, but it would definitely take a lot more than eggs, toast, and bacon to get me back into your bed. By the way, this baby could quite possibly be a girl, I hope it is, and I hope she gives you hell.
Bella
I quickly pass it on to Mrs. Pierce, before I lose my nerve.
"Awe, you guys are adorable." Alice says, and I sigh.
His note is thoughtful, so is breakfast, and it's causing a mixture of emotions to rise up in me. I don't even know which one to focus on, so I begin to cry.
"Oh, Bella! Sweetie, I do not do well with tears. Jasper!" I hear Alice call. Seconds later, I feel his arms surround me, and he holds me while I cry, with Alice rubbing circles on my back.
I look up to Jasper, with tears still streaming down my face.
"What should I do?" I ask him, knowing he's not fond of Edward, so he'll give me the kick I need to not forgive Edward so easily.
"Talk it out, Sweets. Let him fully explain, without letting your emotions cloud your judgment. Then if you still can't see yourself with him, tell him to kiss your ass, because he can be in the baby's life, without being in yours," Jasper says, and I nod.
"I want to talk to him, but not today. It's still too fresh. I'm still hurting."
"I understand that," Jasper says, and then pulls back. "I was going to kick his ass for making you cry, but Alice said that you guys were on a break-"
"We were not!" I shout and turn to Alice. "How does that make it any better?"
"For one, he was drunk, and two, you guys weren't together at the time, therefore-"
"Therefore my feelings don't matter, right? Therefore I'm being dramatic and overreacting, right?"
"No, that's not what I'm saying at all, Bella! I just want you to think about your relationship with Edward, okay? Think about how he makes you feel, and you tell me if you can imagine living your life without him?" She says, and, of course, I already know the answer.
Instead of saying the words, I shake my head no, letting a single tear fall down my face.
"Then you should find it in your heart to forgive him," she says, and I ponder her words and take a deep breath.
"I will try."
"Good, well, mom moved brunch to next Sunday, because she wants you there, so do it by then," Alice tells me, and I nod.
"I'll think about it," I tell Alice.
"What are your plans for tonight?" she inquires happily. I can tell that she's thinking up things that we can do tonight.
"I have to work. I took a few nights off, but I really need to work tonight," I tell her, and she rolls her eyes, and pouts at me. "Alice, I had a life before Edward, and it's time that I get back to it."
"Why, oh why, do you work, Bella? Edward has money practically coming out of his ass." Alice looks up and sighs, silently asking God for patience. If I weren't so pissed by her statement, I would laugh.
"It's not my money, so I need-" I begin, but, of course, I'm interrupted by an annoyed Alice. She is a bit much for me, and I can tell that just like her brother, she is used to getting her way.
"You are ridiculous! You know that?" She makes this face that is similar to Edwards, and I have to look away. It's this low eyebrow thing that he does that drives me crazy. It's his way of expressing his disbelief, and annoyance at the same time.
Stop thinking about him, Swan!
"Ladies! We have a perfectly good breakfast to eat this morning. "Jasper intervenes while I glare daggers at an unaffected Alice.
Just then there is another knock at the door. Jasper walks over to answer it.
"Wow. You two are popular this morning," Alice jokes.
It's Mrs. Pierce. I stare at her quizzically. "Did you forget something?" I ask her, as I walk closer to where she stands across from Jasper.
She holds a piece of paper out and smiles sweetly. "This is for you."
I look down at the folded up piece of paper, and then back at her, before reaching out for it. This means he's downstairs. He's here! And he didn't come up. He didn't come up. My chest actually aches from the knowledge of knowing that he is so close, yet so far.
"Thank you," I tell her, but I don't look back up at her. I stand there with shaky hands and open the note.
I hadn't expected a response, but getting one actually causes me to feel giddy, and nervous at the same time.
Bella
I have a feeling the baby is a girl, and that scares the shit out of me. Secretly, I do want the baby to be a girl because I know that she will have her mother's beauty, and spirit. She will have the biggest heart, just like you. One that is loving, selfless and forgiving. She will be daddy's little girl, and I'll be complete with both my queen, and my princess to look after, and to love and cherish forever.
Love
Woody
And I'm a blubbering mess again after reading his note. I clutch the note to my chest and try hard to hold back more tears when I see the look on Alice's face. Apparently tears make her uncomfortable. I sniffle a few times, and then open his letter, and re-read it.
X
Thirty minuttes of listening to Jasper, and Alice flirt, and I have had my limit with them. They are disgustingly open as if they've known each other for years, instead of hours. It's also a little weird for me to watch someone else get all the attention that I used to get from him. It made me appreciate Edward a little more, watching how Jasper caters to Alice almost without her having to say what it is that she wants or needs. Edward has a way of doing that for me, and I miss it.
"Let's go shopping." Alice tugs my arm, and I frown at her.
"I'm tired. Can we do it tomorrow?" I ask her, and she pouts.
"Fine! Go take your little nap," she waves me off and turns a happy smile in Jasper's direction. "Would you like to go shopping with me?"
I laugh and turn to walk away, just as I hear him say, "Only if it's lingerie that we're shopping for."
I roll my eyes and continue out of sight, and out of ear-shot.
X
Teaser:
"Good morning." Doctor Banner stood as I entered the room, and extended a hand towards the couch opposite him.
A heavy sigh escaped my lips, as the reason for my being here today begins to weigh heavily on my shoulders. I take a seat and try my hardest to appear calm. "Good morning."
"Rough night?" He asks with his lips turned up.
"Always! I can't seem to have a good night."
"We should discuss it," he flips his pad over, and then he waits, as always. He's waiting for me to speak. I don't want to talk about my night or my week. I came here for a reason. I need to say something, but it's hard. It's so hard, and I fear that even this will not release me from my past. Nothing will.
"I actually have something that I need to talk about"
"Oh?" He tilts his head to the side, and regards me with curiosity. Usually it's like pulling teeth to get me to open up. "What would you like to discuss?"
I sigh again, and chew the inside of my lip, contemplating the best way to bring this up. Closing my eyes, I release a heavy breath, and blow it out slowly, before the words begin to flow from my lips.
"I killed him."
X
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