Changing Channels/ Abandon All Hope- S5E8 & S5E10

The man paced in front of her. "You Winchesters can't get enough of me. I thought I had finally finished with you." The Trickster sighed, looking at Lily finally. She crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not a Winchester. And I know who you are." He stopped pacing and looked at her funnily. "Do you? So you've finally realized you're messing with Loki, Norse god of trickery." He spread his arms wide. She held back a laugh and told him to look where he was standing. There was a circle of oil around him. She snapped her fingers and it caught fire. "I've been looking for you, Gabriel."
His smile fell. "How long have you known?" She shrugged and said it was a process. She snapped her fingers again and the flames died out. "I've been contemplating why you left Heaven. You were scared. A child and you ran away." She said, staring back at him. He was on her in a second, pinning her to the wall, his arm holding her throat. "You know nothing of what happened. You got your ass banished. Watch your tongue, or you won't have one anymore." His eyes were like fire. A true angel. No, she corrected herself, an archangel. "Gabriel, I didn't mean it as an insult. I...I came for help. I need you." She whispered.
His face softened and he backed away slowly. "You need my help?" She nodded. "You're my big brother, technically my uncle but those are just terms. I...I've been trying to change the future. But you can't fight fate." She said defeatedly. Gabriel's lip quirked up. "The Winchesters...they're true vessels and I've accepted that they have to go through with it. But they refuse. You have to show them the truth. Get them to accept their roles." His face hardened again. "No. Find another angel." He told her.
Her shoulders slumped. Didn't he know? "You're the only angel that will help. Every other one wants me dead and Castiel can't do the magic you can. I need you." She pleaded. His brow furrowed as his lips quivered with anger. "I left Heaven for a reason, Lillian! I was tired of seeing my brothers fighting one another! I am not going to help you so they can finally have their death match!" She shrunk back. But he was wrong. "No. Not a death match. I've seen what happens, Gabriel! Michael and Lucifer end up in the cage. Together. Neither dies. Incapacitated for eternity." She said.
He frowned. "And your Winchesters? What happens to them?" Her eyes lit up. The good part. "I save them. Like I always do." She held out her hand. And after a moment, he shook it.

Lily rushed into the warehouse. "Gabe! Gabe, I did it! I fixed the-!" She skidded to a stop. Sam. Dean. Gabriel in a ring of holy fire. Dean raised his eyebrows. "Archangel huh?" He nodded, like he approved. "What's going on?" Lily stuffed the vial into her purse. "We could ask you the same question." Sam stated. She walked towards Gabriel. "You let them know. We had a deal." She said angrily. Her green eyes were dark. Gabriel grinned. "Let off it, Sis. They don't know the whole shebang." Her frown disappeared. "But enough that you got your ass trapped in holy fire. Again." She said. He nodded. "They want me to help them stop the apocalypse." Gabriel told her.
She looked at the boys. "Where the hell have you been, Lily?" Sam demanded. She smiled sadly. "I've been with Gabe. Doing research. The apocalypse must happen. I'm sorry." She told them. She snapped her fingers and conjured Gabriel a chair to sit in. "Do you want to tell them, or should I?" He pointed at her. "Best they hear it from a friend." He said. Lily stepped inside the holy ring of fire and stood behind Gabriel. "Michael and Lucifer have true vessels. The one my father is riding now will only hold for so long. like, this body isn't not my true vessel. It was a substitute for when mine was found. The vessels have been found and are being pursued. Soon, the battle will arrive and the end will be over. This was never about fighting for Michael and Lucifer. This was about brothers who crossed each other and can't overcome it." She explained. Dean said all they had to do was find the vessels and destroy them. Two lives for seven billion. Gabriel patted Lily's hand, encouraging her.
"I've made mistakes. Big ones. But I will not let this continue. Two sons, the older so loyal to a father who was never there. The younger always running from the father's plans." She said quietly. "Sound familiar?" Gabriel piped up. Dean glared at him. "Lil, what're you saying?" She gave him the most pitiful look. "Everyone has always known how the world would end. The true vessels, the last fight. Why do you think everyone has taken such an interest in the Winchester Brothers. You are the vessels." Her voice was shaking and she wished it weren't true.
"Bring Cas back." Dean ordered. Lily looked down at Gabriel. "What did you do with him?" She asked quietly. Gabriel smiled up at and snapped his fingers. Castiel appeared beside Dean. "I see you found Gabriel. I told you that you would." Cas said to Lily. "We're leaving. Come on Lily." Dean said. Lily stayed put as they moved to the door of the warehouse. Sam turned around. "Lily. Are you coming?" He asked her. She looked down at the floor. "I cannot follow where you go. My time is almost up. I don't want to spend the last of it with you. I don't want you to feel what I felt, go through what I went through. Forgive me if I would rather spend it with my brother."

Lily swished her drink around in the cup. "You know, life was never fair to me Fergus. All anyone ever did was tell me what to do and who to be. I'm tired of being Heaven's demon and Hell's angel. I want to be me." She sighed. He laughed at her. "Where does your brother believe you to be?" He asked, sitting beside her. She shrugged in response. "Gabriel doesn't keep tabs. And he never asks questions." She said it was a good thing. Lily took a swig of the brandy and sighed. "I'm about done with this life, Fergus. Sign me up for the next train out of here." She laughed as he poured himself another drink.
"And let you miss all the fun? I think I'll pass." He chuckled. Lily looked at the gun beside her. The Colt. Fergus raised his eyebrows as she sniffed the air. "I told you they would come." He told her. "Yeah. You said Cas was tailing you. She turned her head to the door slightly. "They're inside." She warned him. He waved it off. They wouldn't kill him. He finished his drink and poured another. "You owe me ten dollars." He told her, laughing. She rolled her eyes but tossed him a ten.
Fergus raised his head, smiling. There they were. His Hardy Boys. "Finally. I've been waiting to meet the famous Winchester Brothers. Lillian's has told me so much about you." He said, acknowledging their presence. "Lily." Sam breathed. She smiled at Dean and Sam brightly, waving her drink a tad. The rug in front of them was crumpled, she noticed. And he was about to cross over it. "The rug. I wouldn't." She pointed out to Fergus. He raised his eyebrows and with a flick of her hand, she flipped it. A Devil's Trap, on the bottom of it. He frowned. "That's an expensive rug. Lily got it for me for Christmas one year." He sighed. "I believe I rolled one of your crossroads demons up in it. And your hellhound pup. Just to get you a message." She reminded him. He nodded.
Two of Fergus' men stepped from the shadows and grabbed the boys, making them drop their weapons. "Easy." Lily warned, setting her drink down. She stood up, the Colt in her hands. "Such a fuss over a small gun." Fergus sighed. He aimed it and shot both his men, leaving Sam and Dean free. "Lillian, escort us to my private drawing room please. And call the maid to get this mess disposed of." She nodded and took Sam and Dean to the drawing room, Fergus following. She shut the door quietly. "Why are you hanging out with this guy? Crowley is crazy." Dean asked. "Crowley. Hmm. Never called him that before." She blinked slowly. "And as for hanging out with him, he's the reason I'm here. Not here here, but here breathing. He made the deal with my parents." She explained.
"So Crowley is Fergus? The guy you're buddy buddy with?" She nodded in response. Crowley sighed and sat down behind his desk. Lily leaned against the wall. "Now, boys. Take the gun to whatever hole Lucifer is hiding in and empty the barrel into his head" He instructed them, tossing the gun at Sam. He caught it nervously. "He'll be in Carthage, Missouri on Thursday. Get there Wednesday if you can. Try to be discreet." Lily told them. Sam frowned. He didn't understand. Neither did Dean. "You aren't going to help kill him? Are you on Gabriel's side?" Sam asked her. He wanted her there. Needed her there so they didn't die. So he could tell her he loved her.
She bit her lip in frustration. How to tell them...? "Aren't you going to tell them, darling? I'd think they deserved to know." Crowley clicked his tongue absentmindedly. Lily pushed off the wall but seemed so small. "I won't make it to Wednesday, Sam. I'm sorry." There. In a mere matter of seconds, four entire worlds crashed and burned. Four hearts broke into millions of pieces.
Lily didn't want to die. She liked living. More than she thought she did, anyways. She was tired of hunting and people dying, but she loved being able to feel fresh air in her lungs and helping people. And she loved Dean. Dean was the big brother she needed when the others skipped out. Dean, although he didn't know it, was her first everything, besides love. Dean was her best friend and leaving him was going to suck. Leaving Sam would be harder. Sam was her first love. Dean had been her first time having sex, but Sam was her first time making love. He had hurt her yes, but he had loved her more. The boys had accepted her for a monster and she didn't want to let them go.
Crowley didn't want Lily to die either. He felt she was like his daughter. He had brought her into this world and he would be the one to see her out of it. But if things went his way, and the Winchesters complied, which he was sure they would, she would not be gone long.
Dean would miss her. Lily was the most smart ass, bitch of a woman he had ever dealt with. But he supposed that came with being a cambion or whatever. He assumed not many people had gone through what she had been through. Dealing with Sam after she died wasn't something he wanted to do. His baby brother would be broken, unfixable and probably a sob story in the making. Lily had been the first girl he connected with. She had been the first girl who understood him completely because she knew what it was like.
Sam longed for her and she was not yet gone. Why, he wondered, did all his girlfriends die? Lily was not a girlfriend. She was a soulmate and the woman he had wanted to marry for over four years. He had known it was her from the moment he first saw her. He had messed up, broken her heart too many times and let her down too many times. And as a result, had gotten their child murdered. He did not want her to go. He hadn't been able to make up for anything yet.
"Tell Cas I said I'm sorry." She said softly. "Oh no. No way. You are not staying here and wallowing away in your misery. You're coming and saying good-bye to everyone in person. Then you can come back." Dean ordered her. Lily and Crowley looked at each other. She grinned at him. "I'll be back soon. Leave me some brandy. It takes the edge off." She kissed his cheek quickly.

Lily thought about what her father had shown her. She would live. Have a baby. No. That was wrong. A lie. A trick. She would not fall for it. "You know," Ellen called to her attention, "when they said you were the Anti-Christ, I was going to come and shoot you myself. But Bobby reminded me you're a good kid who's done nothing but help us." She talked while Cas downed five shots of vodka. Lily was grateful and she said so. "I've never seen Cas drink. Ever." She laughed.
"Lily, we will miss you." Cas raised his empty glass. She told him she would miss them too. "Are you going somewhere?" Bobby asked her. The room went deathly quiet. No one had told him that his god-daughter was about to die. "I'm not going to Carthage, Bobby." She told him quietly. Her god-father frowned. "Where are you going then?" He wanted to know. Sam had told him she had been crashing with Gabriel and then Crowley. "Back to Hell, more than likely. Maybe oblivion. I've never experienced death first hand. But I'll try to come back and let you know what it's like. Maybe I'll send you a post card." Her tone was light, but there was a dark undertone. He realized she wasn't kidding.
"You're...dying?" He asked. Slowly, she nodded. "I'm not supposed to make it to Wednesday. I have to go back to Crowley's tomorrow night." She bent down and hugged him immediately. "I'm gonna miss you kid." He grumbled. Her laugh came out as a choked sob. "Yeah. I'm gonna miss you too, big guy." She whispered. He pulled away from her and clapped her hand. "Alright you idjits. I want a family photo before we get gone." Bobby decided.
He led them to the library and rolled back behind his desk in his chair, a camera in his hands. "Get together." He ordered. Lily stood behind Bobby. "Get in that photo. You're family." Bobby told her. Sam held his hand on. "Come on. Over here." He smiled. She hugged his side, Dean taking her other side. Jo and Ellen were on Sam's other side, with Cas beside Dean. "Tomorrow, we kill the Devil and we may not come back." Cas reminded them. Their smiles fell as the camera flashed.
"Alright kids." Dean spoke up. No one else had noticed Sam staring down at Lily. "Let's go down a few more beers." He ushered them all out of the room, leaving Lily alone with Sam. "I never meant to hurt you Sam. I just wanted you to know that." She told him. "It's fine. I deserved it." He assured her. "I love you. So much. And I wish I didn't have to go. But I have to find Gabriel. He doesn't know." In a blink, she was gone. Sam's hands fell to his sides. So much for romantic declarations of love.
He stormed from the room and grabbed Dean by the collar, pulling him into the salvage yard. "Dude. Dude, chill out." Dean yanked away from his baby brother. "We gotta save her man." Sam said, half breathless from anxiety and excitement. Dean's brow furrowed. "We can't. You heard her. There ain't nothing we can do, Sam." Sam shook his head. "There are a lot of people who care about her. So let's get them all together before we go gank the Devil and we can all come up with something." Sam grinned madly. Dean sighed. Sam wouldn't let this go. He had to humor him. "Fine. I'll get Cas to go grab Gabriel and you can call up Crowley. But hurry." Dean said. Sam hugged his brother. there was no way they were letting her get away again.

"We're trying to save her. Unless that wasn't made clear." Sam said threateningly. Gabriel stared back at him, bored. "Yes. I know. But in case you haven't noticed, she doesn't want to be saved. She would have found a way if she wanted to." Gabriel sounded unamused. It sounded almost as if he didn't want to help her. "She did. Or rather, I did." Crowley spoke up. Everyone looked at him. "You found a way to save her?" Sam asked. The demon nodded. "She won't like it. Death will have to grab her first, knock her out. She has to be unconscious. So it will obviously have to wait until you get back from Carthage." He explained. "What do we have to do?" Chuck, the prophet, asked.
Crowley smiled. "She will need her true vessel. And I'm sure that with the help of the angels, and your prophet, we'll find it." He placed his hands together. "This sounds dangerous." Bobby grumbled. Crowley sighed. "Difficult yes, possibly dangerous. You see, she's stuck in that body. You'll have to cut her out. And put her in her true vessel. It will be messy and very difficult, but we can do it." He told them. Dean looked at his brother. "You sure you want to do this?" Sam nodded. Anything for her. But...wait. He glanced at the demon. "What's in it for you? How much time do we get with her?" He asked. Crowley, clearly amused, shook his head.
"This isn't a deal, boy. I love her as much as the rest of you do. I raised her from Hell the second time around and watched over her. I feel as if she's my child. I want her alive more than anything. This is me being selfish." He explained. It was, they realized, true. "Then let's get started." Sam decided.

She had never tried meditating before. It was oddly peaceful. "Can you see anything?" Crowley asked her. She didn't open her eyes. "Death. I see my uncle rising. I see...Jo and Ellen...they won't make it home." She whispered. He was helping her. Building her power. She would have to be stronger to survive the transfusion. "What else do you see, Lily?" There was an audible sigh of frustration. "Letting Sam go was a mistake." Was all she said. Crowley groaned.
"Look closer." He urged her. Images flashed. Visions. "Sam...he's talking to him. My father. His vessel is damaged. I should be there." She said softly. She sounded like a child. "He was shot. But the Colt didn't work. Why didn't it work?" She paused before speaking again. "He threw Dean into a tree. He asked Sam why he didn't go ahead and say yes. It's because of me, yes. That's it. He doesn't want to let me down again. Lucifer says I'm a prize, but a disgrace to all kinds of beings." There was no emotion in her voice. It was almost time. Let Lucifer finish the ritual.
"What is he doing? Is he raising the Horsemen? Doesn't he know they are dangerous?" She asked, eyes still closed. "Yes darling. He does." She was sweating. Death sweat, he had always called it. Her time was coming. Those boys better hurry. He pushed hair from her face. "Meg has Castiel. Ellen and Jo are dead." She reported. Crowley sighed. "Oh. Castiel has bested the demon. He's taking Sam and Dean somewhere. Death...Death is here. On Earth. We're all doomed." She said quietly. Her eyes flew open. Crowley did not expect to see pale grey instead of black. They had been black when she first closed her eyes. "I don't want to die." She whispered. Crowley kissed her forehead. "You'll be fine, my princess." He assured her.
"We don't have much time." Someone that sounded like Gabriel said tightly. "Gabe...?" Lily whispered. Her vision was blurring. Death. He was coming for her. His first real victim in years. He wouldn't be happy about taking her, but the power would supply him for eons. "Hey baby sis. We got you." Gabriel laid something on the couch across from her own. What was that...? "Hurry it up." Bobby ordered the angel. Lily was overcome with cold chills. "Sam...Is Sam okay?" She asked Crowley. Someone took her hand and placed her head in their lap. "I'm fine Lil. And so are you Just...just go to sleep okay baby?" Her eyes closed, tucking away that startling pale grey that was turning white. "He's here." Was all she said before she went limp.
Sam bit his lip. "Do it!" He screamed at Crowley. Gabriel made an incision on the other body; the vessel was hard to find, tucked away in a small town in New York. Castiel took out a knife and flipped Lily's body over. He pushed her hair over her head and stared down at the Devil's Trap on her neck. Crowley held a hot towel in his hands. "Now." Sam said darkly. Castiel sliced the skin away and shoved his hand into her neck. "Ah, I'm not finding it." He growled. Sam tensed. He couldn't have taken already, could he? Gabriel shoved Cas over. "You have to go through the chest, idiot." He muttered, putting Lily in Cas' arms. Without cutting or anything, he plunged his hand into her chest. He winced. "Damn, that's fiery." He groaned as he pulled his hand out. In his hand was a golden orb of light.
"Is that...her?" Dean whispered. Gabriel nodded as gold liquid ran down his arm. He moved to the other couch. "Yep. This little bugger is my baby sister." He cleaned the wound on the other body's chest. "Beautiful." Sam murmured. Gabriel put the soul into the body and sealed the wound, leaving a tiny pink scar in the white flesh. "Give her a few hours. She'll wake up. And she'll have your heads." Crowley told them. Bobby sighed in relief. Dean clapped his shoulder. "She's okay Bobby. We got her." Relief flooded all their bodies. "Should I dispose of the body?" Castiel asked. Sam shook his head. "No. We'll let her do it when she wakes." Cas nodded. "I'll prep the body for burial." Crowley picked the body up and carried it out of the room. Dean looked over at Sam. "Hey kid, it's okay. She's safe. Alive." He said.
Sam nodded. Alive. With years to come and go. The world at her feet. And he would not let her down again.

Her eyes fluttered open. Where was she? It smelled like...lavender and peppermints. The bed was soft, feathers. Egyptian cotton. Crowley. But if she was in his house, was she alive? Or was something waiting outside that door, something dangerous? Hell had ways of tricking people. But, she was Hell's princess. She got the best of the best, right? No. Wait. It was too surreal. Too...ideal. Heaven. Yes. God would make sure she was in Heaven. She had to thank him. She rolled out of the bed. Wait. These weren't her legs. They were too short, too pale. And those were not her feet. She did not paint her toenails!
"Oh God." She breathed. Not Hell and not Heaven. Earth. "CROWLEY!" She shrieked as she ran down the spiral stairs. They were sitting at the table, eating who knows what. "Hey sunshine. Good morning." Dean smiled, mouth full of eggs and bacon. "What have you done?" She screamed. "You said you didn't want to die." Crowley reminded her. Her face turned red. "Gabriel and Chuck found your true vessel. You're safe, Lily. Alive and well." Sam told her. Alive. Living and breathing. she grinned, a mad grin and pulled Sam from the table. "Then let's get to know my body." She smirked, a glint in her eyes he hadn't seen in a long time. He let her take him upstairs and to the room they had left her in.
His hands roamed every inch of her new body, wanting to learn every crevice and curve, to know it by memory. She was glad to be able to touch him again, to explore every part of him. Fire burned as their lips met the other's skin. "I love you." She whispered as her fingernails left marks down his back. He smiled against the flesh of her neck. "Not nearly as much as I love you." She smirked as he kissed her. "You'd be surprised."

Once Sam was asleep, she slipped out of the bed, throwing his shirt over her naked body. She stepped into the bathroom and locked the door. She looked at herself in the full body mirror. This body was...so different. Short, for one. Her other body had been tall, five eight, but nothing compared to Sam and Dean's towering heights. This one had to be five five at most. Her skin was a pale white, contrasted to the dark tan it had been. Weird. Painted fingers and toes, obviously a girly girl. Long, mid back length strawberry blond hair. Dear lord. Bright blue eyes, not a freckle in sight. Small, straight nose, not even a bit curved. Small lips. Not as curvaceous as her other body either. But she liked this one. Her true vessel. She would do better to care for it.
But if...she had lived, and she had a future then...the vision. The one that Lucifer had shown her those weeks ago. The hospital with Dean. She touched her stomach carefully. "No." She whispered. Not again. Then and there, she vowed to make no mistakes. Do nothing careless. This baby would live. And it would have a mother and father and entire family to love and spoil it. She smiled to herself. "I'm back." And her eyes went black.