Hey guys! Sorry for the wait, I've been caught up with soccer, summer reading, obsessing over the Half-Blood Prince movie, obsessing over So You Think You Can Dance, facebook, and just enjoying the last bit of summer left.

Now, I'd like to thank Soreye and the sudoku kid for reviewing! Thanks so much, it really means a lot! =)

DISCLAIMER:

Sirius: NO, THIS GIRL DOES NOT OWN HARRY POTTER! WHY WOULD SHE NOW WHEN SHE HASN'T FOR THE LAST 25 POSTS?

Me: Thank you, Sirius. You can have a cookie now *hands him a cookie*

Sirius: YAY! I GET A COOKIE AND BELLA DOESN'T! MWAHAHAHA!

Bellatrix: Why have a cookie when you could have world domination?

Sirius: Because cookies are warm and delicious and melt in your mouth. AND THAT'S THAT.

Bellatrix: But-

Sirius: No buts. COOKIES ARE BETTER THAN WORLD DOMINATION!

Bellatrix: Whatever you say, loony.

Sirius: Thank you... HEY!

Chapter Twenty One: Payback's a Bitch part QUATRO

Remus and Hermione were quickly tied up to a bedpost, their wands taken away. "This will be fun," Harry grinned, excitedly.

"Don't wet your pants over it," Sirius rolled his eyes, used to the excitement of putting a prank into action.

"NO SARCASM! I AM THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO BE SARCASTIC, SINCE I AM THE KING OF SARCASM!" Harry pulled out his wand, his right eye twitching.

"Chill out, dude!" Sirius held up his hands, alarmed by the wand.

"Hey, they're stirring!" Harry said, noticing that Remus and Hermione were, in fact, stirring.

"This will be fun," Sirius smirked, evilly.

"'Aguamenti!'" Harry said, spraying water from his wand onto Remus and Hermione to wake them up. And boy, they woke up very quickly after that.

"What's going on?" Hermione exclaimed, furiously.

"What's going on, she asks," Sirius snickered.

"Well, if you must know-," Harry began. Sirius interrupted by throwing a water balloon at Remus' head.

"OW! WHAT THE HELL, SIRIUS?" Remus shouted, spitting out water and shaking his hair.

"Continue," Sirius sniggered, motioning for Harry to go on.

"Are you INSANE?" Remus exclaimed, trying to break free of the ropes trapping him.

"It's no use. The ropes are enchanted, so there's really no point in wasting your energy," Sirius smirked, hurling another water balloon at Remus' face.

"OUCH! What was that for?"

"Shut up. Harry's trying to talk."

"Thank you, Sirius."

"Anytime, Harry."

"Now, as I was saying, we have done this BECAUSE of your actions at Cedar Point."

"Are you SERIOUS?" Hermione exclaimed, in an exasperated tone.

"Yes, in fact, I am," Sirius stuck out his tongue at her. Remus groaned. "You should've seen that one coming," he smirked.

"And as we speak, two of our accomplices are currently in the Ancient Runes classroom, failing, er, taking the test for you. Pray you won't have to retake the course," Harry smirked, reaching for another water balloon. "And, until they get back, this will be heaven for us, and the place where heaven-is-not for you."

"In other words, HELL," Sirius stuck his tongue out again. He reached for a pie, and both Remus and Hermione had the sense to be alarmed.

"And don't bother screaming, we put a Silencing Charm around the whole dorm," Harry added, smirking and tossing the water balloon up and down in his hand.

"You know they're going to get us back when this is all over, right?" Sirius whispered in Harry's ear.

"Yes, but I'd like to be far away, like in Mexico, before they do," he whispered back.

Frank Longbottom, who was unfortunate enough to share a dorm with the four boys, entered exactly at that moment with his girlfriend, Alice.

Frank was used to this, walking in on whatever strange scene the Marauders were doing. One time, in third year, he had walked in on Sirius and a girl. And in fourth year, he had walked in while Sirius was high on sugar (not a pleasant sight to see) singing a horribley off key version of 'GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER', and in fifth year, he had walked in on them while they were getting drunk (DEFINITELY not a pleasant sight to see). He had heard Sirius confess his love to Remus' teddy bear that night... naked...

Alice however, was in no way, shape, or form used to this. Her jaw dropped, and she screamed, "What the hell is going on in here?"

"Come on, Alice honey. This room is obviously taken, let's go to your room," Frank whispered, urgently. He managed to drag a shocked Alice away from the door, and went upstairs to Alice's dorm. However, Lily was lying on her bed reading a book when the couple entered.

"Hey Lils!" Alice said, surprised. You could say that Lily was used to Alice and Frank's little 'adventures' in the girls' dorm. So she gathered her things and said, "I'm going to the Library to study for a bit."

"Oh hey Lily, you might want to check out the Marauder's dorm. Something weird's going on in there," Alice called over her shoulder as Lily exited her dorm. But Alice opened the door a crack and said, "Hey Lily- isn't there supposed to be a test in Ancient Runes today after class?"

"Yeah, but I took it in class, because I told him I had prefect duties to attend to," Lily replied. She heard Frank snigger at the word 'duties' behind the door and rolled her eyes. Boys.

"And he bought that?" Alice asked, incredulously.

"Hook, line, and sinker," Lily smirked.

"Wow Lily! You could've been sorted into Slytherin."

Lily rolled her eyes, and replied, "I'd better go check on whatever the Marauders are doing in the dorm before it gets too out of hand."

"Oh trust me, Lily. This is one of their crazier schemes."

"Alright- I won't hold you up any more," Lily giggled as Frank pulled a squealing Alice back into the girls' dorm. The door slammed shut behind her. Lily rolled her eyes (she seemed to be doing that a lot recently) and marched up to the dorm, mentally preparing herself for whatever sight she was about to see.

"Oh God, don't make me regret this. They always said curiosity killed the cat…" she prayed, and opened the door to the Marauders' dorm.

Now Lily, too, was used to the Marauders' shenanigans over the years. From water balloons, to exploding dungbombs, she thought she had seen it all. But boy, was Lily wrong this time… Her jaw fell to the floor as she saw Remus and Hermione tied up, soaking wet and covered in pie.

"We're sorry you had to see this, Lily. We had nothing against you except a little insanity," Sirius said, looking genuinely apologetic. Then everything went black.

"Was it really necessary to Stun her?" Harry asked, skeptically.

"Yes," Sirius replied, muttering 'Wingardium Leviosa', at Lily's unconscious body. She floated unceremoniously to where the very conscious Remus and Hermione were, and tied her up as well.

"You won't get away with this!" Hermione exclaimed. In response, Harry threw another water balloon at her.

While Sirius was locking the door to ensure no more unnecessary interruptions, Harry tossed another water balloon up and down, smirking. "Who should it be? The smart yet evil girl, or the smart yet evil boy?"

Hermione shouted, "HIM!" the same time as Remus shouted, "HER!" Then they both looked at each other apologetically. "Wrong answer," Harry smirked. He duplicated the water balloon, and threw one at Remus, and one at Hermione.

"This is a fun time. This is a very fun time," Sirius sniggered, jumping on Remus' bed just to annoy him.

"I swear when I get out of here, I'm going to kill BOTH of you. Then go down to Hell, bring you back up, and do it all over again!" Remus growled.

"WE have the power! There's nothing you can do about escaping. And when Ron and James get back, it'll get all the better for us, all the more worse for you," Sirius exclaimed, gleefully.

"Lily's wand!" Harry's eyes widened as he realized that Lily was stirring, and she still had her wand. Sirius, thinking fast, saw her wand sticking out of her jeans' pocket, and grabbed it before she realized what was going on.

"Good call," Sirius said.

"Thanks," Harry smiled.

"And now what do we do?"

"Now, we wait for Ron and D-James, to get back."

"Harry?"

"Yeah, Sirius?"

"How are they going to get into the dorm if it's locked?"

"'Alohamora', silly boy."

"I TAUGHT YOU THAT CHARM!" Hermione burst out, furious.

"And it's come in handy the few hours. Thanks for helping, Hermione," Harry smirked, sticking his tongue out at her.

"I'm not a SILLY BOY!" Sirius glared at Harry.

"It's an expression, Sirius."

"Still… no one calls Sirius Black silly!"

"Fine, Sirius. I'm sorry I called you 'silly'."

"Thank you. That was all I asked for."

"Good, because that's all you're getting."

"You're just like Prongs in that way."

"What way?" Harry asked, alarmed.

"That's just how HE would say it! I could close my eyes, and I could be talking to James!"

"Uh-," Before Harry could reply, the door burst open. To no one's surprise, the Polyjuice Potion had worn off. There stood Ron and James, who looked like they had sprinted the whole way here.

"Did we miss anything?" Ron asked, breathlessly.

"Why is LILY tied up?" James growled at Sirius and Harry. She was just now beginning to stir.

"She wasn't supposed to be a part of it, but Lily was a witness. She could've told someone, and that would put plan in ruins," Sirius said, backing away slowly.

"Besides, we didn't hit her with water balloons or pie," Harry added, hiding behind his future godfather.

"Okay, fine. Now that SHE'S tied up…" James said, thoughtfully stroking his imaginary beard.

"Prongs, there are other people in the room," Sirius warned.

"Oh, right! Of course..." James looked disappointed.

"WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?" all of the seventh years jumped (Hermione and Lily screamed).

"Oh… hi Professor McG!" Harry said brightly. He was the first to recover.

"This isn't what it looks like, Professor!" James said, trying to cover up Remus, Hermione, and Lily by pulling off some bedcovers and throwing it over them.

"Potter, Black, what are you THINKING?" McGonagall exclaimed. She hadn't missed the three unfortunate students tied up. Two-thirds of them were covered in water and pie… oh, they would get it this time!

"POTTER, BLACK! DETENTION! AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO ISN'T TIED UP!" McGonagall screeched, furiously. Panicking, Sirius shot a stunner at McGonagall. She was in no way whatsoever expecting it, so she fell to the floor, unconscious.

"SIRIUS! WHAT DID YOU DO?" James exclaimed. "You weren't supposed to ATTACK her!"

"Run for it!" Sirius hollered, racing out the door with James, Harry, and Ron close on his heels. James came back and untied Lily, (she grabbed her wand) and raced out the door with her. That left Remus and Hermione all alone with an unconscious Professor McGonagall.

"COWARDS!" Remus shouted after them. Sirius came back, and hit Remus with another water balloon, and ran out again.

"This is not good, we have to get out of here!" Hermione said, alarmed.

"Here, McGonagall's wand! It's right by your feet, can you try getting it?" Remus asked, spotting her wand.

"Okay, I'll try," Hermione reached out with her foot, and tried to reach the wand McGonagall dropped when Sirius was stupid enough to Stun her. "It's no use, I can't reach it!" she hissed. "Have you tried using wandless magic?" she asked Remus, as inspiration struck her.

"No, but I've heard about it. Can't Dumbledore do it?"

"Yeah, he can. Can you try to get your wand to untie us?" Hermione asked. "It's our only hope if we want to get out of here before Professor McGonagall wakes up,"

"Okay, I'll try," Remus agreed, and focused really hard on the spell 'Accio' and put his right hand out toward his wand. Nothing happened. "Can you try it?" he asked.

"Alright, I'll give it a go," Hermione nodded. The next thing she knew, her wand was in her hand!

"Wow! How did you do that?" Remus said, in wonder.

"I have no idea."

"Because I did it," McGonagall said, making them both jump. She was standing up, and with a flick of her own wand, undid the bonds trapping them.

"Thanks," Hermione said, giving herself a shake.

"Now it's time to kill them!" Remus said, grabbing his wand.

"You might want to take a shower first," McGonagall said. "They'll have detention for a month- OH..."

"What is it?" Hermione asked, curiously.

"Oh, nothing important," McGonagall replied, indifferently. Remus thought she looked pissed, though. Extremely.

"So how are we going to get back at them?" Hermione whispered, once McGonagall was gone.

"We aren't," Remus smirked.

"What? Have you lost it?"

"It's the perfect plan- they'll be so afraid of what they think we're going to do to them that they'll be so paranoid, and it will DRIVE THEM INSANE!" Remus laughed.

Hermione took a step away from him and grinned, "That's a brilliant idea! They won't know what hit them- because nothing will!" He leaned in to kiss her, but she stopped him. "Shower first."

"Er- right. Do you want to - ?"

"Yes!"

"Great! Let's go!"

MEANWHILE…

"We've got to get out of here!" Sirius exclaimed.

"And where do you suppose we go, hmmm?" James asked, sarcastically.

"Well, I always wanted to go to Mexico!" Sirius grinned.

"Mexico it is, then!"

"Wait a second… McGonagall can't give us detention! Remember?" Sirius realized.

"Sirius, you're a genius!" James laughed.

"But we still need to hide from Remus and Hermione! They'll be free by now, hunting the halls looking for us…" Harry whimpered.

"Why can't McGonagall give you detention?" Lily demanded, putting her hands on her hips and looking slightly intimidating (Ron and Harry were reminded of an angry Mrs. Weasley).

"It's a long story, Lily. We need to focus on our next plan of action," James replied.

"Which is...?" Sirius prompted.

"...Mexico," James answered, firmly.

"We can't run away! We were put in Gryffindor for a reason, weren't we?" Ron said.

"He would make a good 'don't jump' speaker," Sirius whispered to James.

"Oh, I can see that very easily," James whispered back, snickering.

"We knew that Remus and Hermione were going to kill us when it was over. Now it's time to grow up and face the consequences," Ron added.

"Did someone use the Imperious Curse on you? You're acting very... smart... all of a sudden," James asked, tentatively.

"NO! Why does everyone keep asking me that? Just cause I start acting 'smart' doesn't mean something's wrong with me!" Ron exclaimed, indignantly.

"No, I think this is a trick from Remus and Hermione! They probably put him under the Imperious Curse to get to us!" Sirius burst out.

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Paranoid much?"

"It's good to be paranoid! It keeps you on your toes," Sirius defended himself.

"Whatever. I'm going to get dinner. Any of you coming?" Lily asked, getting up.

"I will, Lilyflower," James jumped up, taking Lily's arm.

"Are you insane, James?"

"They aren't going to strike while I'm with Lily. She wasn't in on it," James said, more confidently than he felt.

"Well I'M going to Mexico!" Sirius stated. "Who's with me?" Harry and Ron cheered.

"...But after dinner, I'm STARVED!" Sirius said, as James and Lily headed off to the Great Hall.

"How bad do you think Remus and Hermione will get us back?" Harry asked as he, Sirius, and Ron followed Lily and James.

"I don't know, but whatever it is, I'm sure it will be horrible!" Ron said, his eyes wide with panic.

"Good God, Ron. Do you need another Calming Charm?"

"Yes, please Harry?" Ron tried to imitate Sirius' infamous 'puppy dog pout' face, but failed. Harry tried not to laugh, and acquiesced to his request.

"You two crack me up," Sirius laughed, throwing his arms around Harry and Ron.

"Get offa me, you big clown!" Harry grinned, throwing off Sirius' arm.

"I'M NO CLOWN!" Sirius shrieked.

"Ow, that was my ear!"

"Oh, grow up, Harry."

"STOP BICKERING!" Lily and James shouted, turning around and glaring at them.

"We're not sorry," Sirius and Harry chorused.

"You know, Lily. Mexico is a very romantic place. It's actually famous for being romantic," James tried.

"No, James. I will NOT go to Mexico with you just because you want to hide from Remus and Hermione. I WILL go with you during the summer, though," Lily replied, smiling.

"Well… that can be arranged, Lilyflower," James said, surprised because he thought Lily would completely reject the idea. Their conversation was interrupted when there were loud noises coming behind them.

"I WANT PIE!" Harry yelled.

"NO, I WANT PIE MORE!" Sirius shouted.

"WELL I WANT PIE MORE THAN YOU!"

"HA, YOU WISH!"

"NO, YOU WISH!"

"Good Lord, what's with our friends?" Lily asked, laughing.

"I don't know. Probably the crazy things going on today," James responded. "Hey… you said that they were OUR friends!"

"Well, I figured I might as well get used to them if I'm going to be your girlfriend," Lily smiled, shyly.

"Hmm, I like the sound of that!" James grinned, and put his arm around Lily's waist as they entered the Great Hall.

As they approached their usual seats, James muttered "Oh, no!" and paled considerably, stopping in his tracks. This made Sirius, Harry, and Ron (who were still arguing about who wanted pie more) bump into them and fall on the ground.

"Hey, what was that for?" Harry said, indignantly.

"That was uncalled for!" Sirius glared.

"How hard is it just to get some food around here?" Ron pouted.

Then, they all stared in horror at the sight in front of them. It was what they were fearing most in the world as of right now. In their eyes, it meant the End. There, less than five feet in front of them, was the most horrifying thing(s) to ever exist in all their lives. Remus Lupin and Hermione Granger.

So how'd you like the conclusion to 'Payback's a Bitch'? I hope there was enough funniness and randomness in there for you guys! And, thank for reading. :D