The Push
Chapter 26
Kate did not doubt that Dr. Pike Toner had served in the military. If the closely cropped hair and the ramrod straight bearing hadn't been a tipoff-off, the shrapnel scars on his arms and face would have been. Somehow the scars made her feel more at home in his office. At least for him, trauma was not something he had just heard about or studied, it was real.
"So, you took a bullet to the chest, and someone came to kill you while you were recovering, Detective Beckett?" Toner recapped.
"Yes," Kate confirmed.
"And you suffer from hyper alertness. Nightmares? Flashbacks.?"
"I had nightmares," Kate confessed, "but I don't when…."
"When what?" Toner pressed
"When I'm sleeping in my boyfriend's arms."
"The man in the waiting room?" Pike asked.
"That's right."
"It's a plus that he's here for you and I would never knock that kind of therapy. Human touch can have a host of beneficial effects. That's been documented. However, you may have been allowing it to mask your symptoms instead of dealing with them."
"So, what do we do?" Kate queried.
Toner pressed his lips together. "A course of treatment that has been working for my patients has involved having them relive the incidents that triggered their condition, while under the influence of a beta blocker, a type of drug that is often used to lower blood pressure and reduce the strain on the heart. Beta blockers also block the neurotransmitters involved in the laying down of new memories. In many cases, the process has been successful in desensitizing patients to those memories. The treatment is most effective when given within hours of the trauma, but it has been shown to have an effect in cases like yours as well."
"How many times would I have to go through the process?" Kate asked.
"Results appear after one treatment with the drug, but there have been relapses where treatment has had to be repeated. There is another problem in your case, however. Because your injury involved your heart, I'd want a full cardiac workup to make sure you can be treated safely."
"And how long would that take?" Kate asked.
"A day, once you can get one scheduled. Then if the results don't show an unacceptable risk, we can proceed. I can give you a referral to a cardiologist I work with."
"My heart is fine. My own doctor has all my test records," Kate protested.
"That's fine, Detective Beckett," Toner responded, "I will request them, but in this case, I would prefer that a cardiologist I have confidence in, make the determination."
"A cardiologist?" Castle echoed
"It's just for safety, Castle," Kate assured him. "Except for still having to regain some muscle strength and mobility, my doctor gave me a clean bill of health. I don't think that will change. I want to get started with Dr. Toner as soon as possible. His way sounds a whole lot better than endlessly pouring out my innermost feelings to Dr. Burke."
"We both know that kind of sharing has never been your style," Castle observed.
You're right Castle, at least since my mother was killed. But Toner might be able to get me back on the job. Get us back to on the job. Now it's just a matter of how long it will take to get in to see Toner's referral. I know with my doctor, if it wasn't an emergency, the appointments needed to be made a week or sometimes a lot more in advance. That's why he had his nurse practitioner do a lot of my routine checks."
"Give the guy a call and find out," Castle urged.
Kate smiled and batted her lashes. "Actually, it's a woman, Dr. Cherilyn Sparks."
"Let's hope Dr. Sparks will give you your chance to light a fire under the N.Y.P.D. again."
"Dad," Alexis announced to Castle, as he and Kate came through the door of the loft, "I want to go on a weekend tour of colleges with Buttons and her mother."
It took a moment for Castle to switch focus. "Are we talking about Buttons Dutton and the cruel conferrer of childhood appellations, Mrs. Dutton?" he inquired.
"Yes," Alexis confirmed.
"And which illustrious campuses were you planning to grace with your presence?
"We thought we'd do New England, visit Harvard, MIT, Brown, catch Yale on the way back if we have time. We also want to photograph what's left of the fall color to go with a poetry spread for the yearbook."
"I want to talk to Mrs. Dutton before you go, make sure you don't come back here as Tassel Castle."
Alexis rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Dad."
"Seriously, Alexis, while you're in Cambridge do not forget the cool brown ecstasy of burnt caramel ice cream. It would be a travesty to miss a visit to an historic purveyor of frozen confections that is in my estimation every bit as worthy of regard as the exalted institutions of higher learning that provide its clientele."
"I'll keep that in mind, Dad," Alexis said, bounding toward the stairs. "I'm going to go upstairs and decide what to pack."
"She barely looked at me," Kate observed after Alexis had left her alone with Rick.
"She didn't scowl at you either," Rick countered. "That's progress. I was thinking…."
"Darlings," Martha proclaimed as she swept down from her room above, "I will be spending the weekend at Plumb the Depths on the most marvelous retreat for those dedicated to the craft. Each guest is required to arrive in character and explore the very essence of the beings we inhabit, throughout our stay. It will be an exercise extraordinaire."
"Sounds, marvelous, Mother," Castle said.
"Yes," Martha agreed. "I am off to the yoga studio to infuse myself with life energy in preparation for my creative journey."
Castle waved at the dramatically retreating figure. "Enjoy, Mother."
"You were saying that you were thinking something, Castle," Kate recalled, as the door closed behind Martha,
Castle nodded his agreement. "And I'm thinking it even more now. With Alexis gone and Mother off on her acting adventure, we will be blissfully alone. What shall we do to distract you while you await admittance to the medical proving grounds of the vaunted Dr. Sparks?"
"We could watch a movie," Kate purred.
"Or read," Castle added.
"Or get something to eat," Kate offered.
Pushing back strands of hair from Kate's face, Castle leaned in for a kiss. "Or we could indulge in some energizing deep breathing of our own."
"Breathing is always good," Kate agreed.
"While Alexis is perusing her wardrobe for the perfect ensemble for campus adventures, we could indulge ourselves in a preview," Castle proposed.
"Castle, I always use previews to buy popcorn at the concession stand. Sometimes one of the huge boxes of candy, too."
"Hmm," Castle considered, "something salty and something sweet. I think we can find more intimate ways to indulge those cravings."
"I'm sure we can," Kate agreed. "I just hope Alexis takes her time packing."
"So, do I. But Detective Beckett, the bedroom door has a lock, and there is no reason we should not employ it. Alexis is preparing for college. She's decided she's an adult. Fine, she can behave like one. Barring fire, flood, or an attack by flesh eating zombies, my daughter can wait for my attention." Castle decided. He extended a hand to Kate, who entwined her slim fingers with his larger ones and gently leaned her head against his shoulder. Hand in hand they strolled toward the bedroom.