Thank you again for the reviews! Always always awesome to recieve them.

The next few weeks go by well, I was finally able to start sports again. Sore yes, but the the cuts didn't open or anything so that was ok. The large ones healed ok, but will scare badly. I only seem to cut every other day now. My emotions seem to be more stable these days. Yes I'm up and down but the downs at the moment are not extreme, they're just about bearable.

Things with Emily have been magnificent. She's so funny and caring. Never pushes me to talk, but gives me opportunity to do so, but I don't. No one has bothered me at school which is good. If anyone even looks at me, I swear Spencer growls at them. I've spent more time with Emily's friends and they've been really nice, plus they're pretty hilarious. However Spencer doesn't talk to me much, but she's not horrible or anything. Which is a bit weird since how she was acting before. Anyway, we're all going to a party this Friday and Emily is going to be staying at mine that night. Plus my parents are going to be visiting Scar an having a holiday in New York from the weekend for a week.

I think I want to make this night the night. I really want to make love to her. She is beautiful just inside and out and I want to give myself to her. But I'm going to have to explain my stomach. We plan on drinking at the party so it might give me some liquid courage to do so when we get back home.

Friday comes and I've finished school, I'm back home and facetiming Scar to get advice on what to wear.

"Chick, stop worrying, Emily will love it even if you wore a sack! Just go with something that will make you feel comfortable." Scar tells me.

"I don't want to just be comfortable, I want to be sexy."

Oops, now Scar will never let me live this down.

"haha, oh aye? So you want to look and feel sexy, plus Emily will be staying the night? I know what you are planning you horn dog!" she laughs and smirks at me. Im trying my best not to blush hard.

"Shut up you, I have no idea what you're talking about." I try to deny, but scar can see right through me all the time.

"Just remember to use a condom!"

"Piss off!"

"Haha, but on a serious note, are you sure you're ready?"

"Yes and no, I mean we've done like you know stuff already..."

"T.M.I!"

"Shut up, anyway, I've just not told her about my past or especially about you know, my cuts... I mean scars."

All mirth goes from her face and she looks concerned.

"Have you done it since the lakehouse?"

I just look down, even though she is just a picture on a phone I can't look at her.

"Paige hunnie, I'm not mad just concerned. Have you spoken to Dr Liz?"

"I saw her a few weeks ago, she reminded me of coping techniques and how far ive come. But I cut it short because I really don't want to talk about it you know? I want to forget about that time in my life you know?"

"I do Hun, but don't bottle it up ok. Even if you just write it down or talk to me in code or something. Keep open ok. Anyways I love you loads and the parents will be here any minute. Look in the clothes I left and you'll find a teal coloured top, it's skin tight and your boobs will pop! Emily will love it and wont know where to look haha! Plus black skinny jeans. Remember the push up bra for extra back up!"

"You're such a weirdo but I love you too, tell them hey for me. Byeeee."

I have a shower, and dress in what she suggested.

Ok, I'll admit it, if Em doesn't keep her hands off me in this then I'm screwed.

I walk to Arias party, as it's only a 5 minute walk. I go in and the music is pumping loud and pretty busy. Quite an eclectic mix of people here and lucky no knob heads I can see.

I go through to the kitchen and grab a beer after putting some beers away that I brought.

"Well hello there Paige."

It's Spencer, who I can tell already is kind of intoxicated.

"Hi Spencer, how are you doing?"

"Mmm I'm very good thanks, all the better for seeing you." I swear she is checking me out. She slowly looks at my body up and down and smirks at me. "You are looking really hot tonight Paige, Emily is one lucky girl." She steps forward a bit and leans closer to me. Don't get me wrong, Spencer is stunning, I do have eyes. But I'm gettin kinda uncomfortable with the attention.

"Ha...Erm... Ummm, thanks but I'm the lucky one. Shes amazing."

She slightly shakes her head and her smirk falls.

"Yeah she is... Um, if you excuse me I need the bathroom." She then leaves.

Ok now that was weird, was she just hitting on me? Pah, don't be silly shes just kinda tipsy and being a bit over friendly. I take a mooch around the lower level of the house and I settle with going outside the back to cool down a bit.

I feel a tap on my shoulder so I spin round. It's Emily and she is wearing a dress that is so short it should be illegal to wear in public.

"Wow, Em, damn... I mean just wow you look gorgeous." I just about get out a coherent sentence.

"Babe, nothing compared to you," she leans in while wrapping her arms around my waist to whisper in my ear,"Are you are actually trying to make me rip your clothes off right now. Because that top is telling me to do that." I slap her arm and actually giggle. Yet she doesn't let go.

"You really are stunning Emily." I smile at her, hoping she really understands how I'm feeling. She smiles back and kisses me gently but with fire.

"Seriously Paige, can we go back to your place now?" She winks at me and licks her lips.

Shit, she is trying to kill me.

"Not yet angel, but you don't have long to wait. But we need to have a chat when we get back sweetie."

"Ok angel. Come on let's grab some drinks and dance."

"Eurgh, Emily, I don't dance."

"Oh you will, trust me." And with that she winks at me then grabs my hand to lead me to the kitchen.

She makes me a cocktail of god knows what. We meet up with Hanna and Caleb there and we just chat away while consuming random drinks.

I'm getting quite tipsy now, but I'm in a great mood. Emily pulls me to the living room where the music is playing. She wraps her arms over my shoulders and neck and starts dancing. I try my best to keep in beat with her, while pressing close to her.

Fuck, she smells so good and feels perfect against me. It's a slow but sensual beat and we somehow get closer, our eyes never leaving each others. She spins me around and wraps her arms around my stomach, and grinds her hips into mine. Damn, I feel like I could explode with how sexy this feels. The way she can move her hips is immense. I lift an arm up and thread it through her hair and gave it a slight tug, to which she moans in my ear at. She whispers in my ear,"Take me home Paige, please."

Shit, she's just put her hand under my top. Fuck fuck fuck.

Fuck, she's felt them, shit, I can't handle this. I need air.

"Sorry, I need air sorry." I blurt out and nearly run out to the back garden. I try and get away from all these people and go to the bottom of the garden.

I find a bench and I sit down. I try and steady my breathing. I'm feeling really wound up.. Shit, the urge to cut is so bad now. If I don't I'm going to explode. I can't calm down any other way. I put my head in my hands and lean forward, trying to regulate my breathing.

I feel someone sit next to me but I just can't look up. I feel a hand start rubbing soothing circles on my back.

"What happened Paige?"