Standard disclaimer. Not mine

Chapter 26 A Visit with Santa

Stephanie made her way to Amanda. "Are you going to tell Santa what you want for Christmas?" "No point, I do not believe it will happen. He does not want me remember."

"I think you should." She pointed at Amanda's necklace. Tears welled up in her eyes. Through it all, she had never taken the necklace with the heart pendant and his wedding ring off. She would talk to Santa. She went towards Santa and saw his eyes. Eyes she had not seen in months. This time the tears fell. She could not blink them away.

"Come tell Santa what you want for Christmas." His voice a little cold. She went to him and sat on his lap. "Santa, I would like it if you could give me what I want. I want my husband back. I do not know how he feels about me. I miss him and I love him. He is all that matters to me."

"I heard you had problems this year. I think Santa needs to talk to you more in private." His voice still sounding a little cold. She got off his lap. They went upstairs to Lester's office. He sat in his chair and pulled her into his lap.

"I have something to say and then you can talk, please do not interupt me or I will never make it. When you left I vowed to be strong and not pine. The first couple days, I was not strong and yes, I pined for you. Then I got your first letter. It meant so much to me that you had taken the time to write a few lines so I would hear from you each week. Even though they were some what general, they said what I needed to hear. The flowers were a highlight for me as well. Hal and Woody did as you had asked. I was holding my own. I was going to get through with all the support you had set up. I appreciated it then and still do. Then I talked to you that one time. I heard your voice not quite right, then you killed me when you said you needed a divorce. I had tried to be a good wife. I tried not to let you know I was scared to death that you would not come back to me. I knew you were going to have to do things you did not necessarily want to do and I accepted that. I drove home, how I made it there I do not know. I wrote a pros and cons list for staying here while I was sitting in Dom. I guess I was bleary eyed and upset enough I did not notice the garage door had not opened. I was told Hal pulled me out of the house. I was unconscious for a while. The doctors ran test to make sure there was no long term effects. There is not. I made Eric move Dom out of the basement, too painful and scary right now. Then the flowers and letters stopped. I began to think you really did not want me. I noticed things moved in the house this last week. I presume it was you. Oh uh, I guess I need to give you these." She took off the necklace that held the heart pendant and his wedding band. She handed them to him. Now it was his turn to speak.

"Amanda, I never meant to hurt you. You are the best wife a man could ever want. I did not meet anybody else. This assignment call for a married couple. They did not know we had gotten married. When I found out what was planned I informed them of the change of my status, but it was to late. Our pictures had already been distributed and background established. It required being intimate with other women. I delayed as long as possible, but eventually I had to participate or it would have drawn suspicion. I cheated on you. You deserve better than that, you deserve better than me. I always used a condom and Bobby has checked me. I am clean. But, never the less I cheated on you. It is not how it is supposed to be between us. I am sorry."

"So that is it you do not want me?" She could feel herself loosing the battle. She started to cry. 'Yes, I want you. But with what I have done, how could you want me?"

"What would have happened if you had not performed?" "My cover would have been blown and I would have probably been killed."

"So this was not a 'hey baby lets hit the sheets' type thing? It was a job requirement? Do you love another woman?"

"It was a job requirement. No, I do not nor did I ever love any other woman."

"Now we are getting somewhere. Which would hurt or piss me off more: You sleeping with someone else or not sleeping with them and you being killed. Which would mean you would not be returning to me."

Silence.

The longer she waited for a reply the more she feared he was going to go ahead and leave her. "Shame Dom did not succeed. I would not have had this pain." She cried. That got his attention. He wanted to cry at her comment. It cut him to the quick. He grabbed her wanting to hold her. She allowed him. She craved and needed the holding.

He whispered in her ear, "I am glad he didn't." As he gave her his wedding band. He held out his left hand to her. "If you want me, I believe you know where that should go. She slid it on his finger. He tipped her head and gave her the most gentle of kisses.

"Sweetheart in my arms is where I want and need for you to be. I am sorry for all I have put you through. My contracts are over, I only go if you and I agree and we know what it entails. I am all yours, if you want me. You are my life Sweetheart." She smiled at him.

"We will work this out. Right now however, Santa needs to go back to the party. Maybe he can be naughty Santa at home." He kissed her one more time just as gently as the first. They held hands as they went back to the party. After the Angel tree families left, 'Santa' went to change clothes. When Lester came back Amanda was waiting on him. They had music playing, not all of it was Christmas, during some of the songs they would dance. It felt good to be in each others arms they thought. Somebody arranged for a lot of slow songs for the reunited couple. During most of those they just held each other.

She cried. He did love her and he only wanted her. These were tears of relief. She was glad she had not left town. It had been a serious consideration of hers. She was glad she stayed and fought for her marriage.

At the end of the party, they helped with clean up even after being told they needed to go home. She wanted to stay especially after people helping her set up or clean up her place from their impromptu parties. New Years Eve was coming. She knew where several were going to be. Lester did not mind staying to help either.

They had fun at the party. They returned home. Wyatt and Doc were glad to see Lester. They got ready for bed. She was glad to have him home even though he was acting a little off. She tried to be romantic with him, but the most he would do was kiss and cuddle. He told her he was tired . She did not pressure him, maybe he was just tired. She woke in the night and he was gone. He was in one of the guest rooms.

This process repeated itself for two weeks. When she would ask him, all he would say was he was not in the mood. She finally called Bobby. "Bobby Brown" "Hi Bobby, It is Amanda. Has Lester talked to you?" He told her he had not and wanted to know what was up. She explained what was happening. He tried to calm her. He told her it was probably an adjustment back to home life.

He lied.

Lester had been to see him. He had tested positive for Chlamydia. The last night he had sex the condom broke. The girl had not been clean as the traffickers had said. His symptoms started just before he came home. Bobby checked him and told him what the problem was. He gave him a Z-pack. Bobby told him he would be better in two weeks. He was better.

They had made it through Christmas. He wanted make love to Amanda on Christmas but could not. After his diagnosis he was still feeling guilty. He confided in Bobby the day after Christmas. Bobby suggested to date her again.

Lester called Amanda at the shop. "Would you like to go to dinner with me tonight?" She agreed. They met at the house and left from there. They went to Redman's. After dinner they went for a walk in the park. Christmas lights were still up and it was cold, but she was enjoying looking at the lights. They were bundled up well for this venture. She was scared of what he might say especially since he was having problems. They came to the familiar park bench where several relationship talks had occurred. "Let's sit." She did.

"I do not know where to start. Amanda, I do not know what is wrong with me. I spoke with Bobby today about my problem. He made a suggestion of dating. For us to start from scratch. The love for you is there. I want to try from the beginning, go back to what made me fall in love with you to start with. Will you do that with me? I want to make love to you so bad, but my body is not responding."

"Lester, I am with you a hundred percent. Kiss me." He did. "Again." He did over and over. "Do you want to stay with me, move to another bedroom or leave the house? Tell me what you need Lester. We can do therapy if you want and feel it will help. Let's walk, it is too cold."

He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her to his side to help keep her warm. They finished their walk and returned to the car.

" I am going to stay in the bed with you. Best not to take a chance on something working and you not be close by." He waggled his eyebrows at her. "I would like to take you to New York for New Years Eve. Would you like to go?"

"Do you think we can get a room? It is not too late?"

"I will talk to Ranger. I will see if I can use an apartment in the New York office for the night."

"If so, then yes we can go, if not, we will probably have a house full. Everybody seems to like the basement." She replied.

Will he be able to get an apartment in New York? Maybe he could get the penthouse...We shall see.