Our Best Selves - Chapter Twenty-six
He's in the process of putting the finishing touches on the hors d'oeuvres for their get together with Lanie, Jenny, and the boys when he feels the warmth of eyes on his back.
"See something you like, Captain?" he asks, lifting his head in time to see Kate look away. His eyebrows wiggle anyway, the tease spilling out before he can stop it. "What am I saying, I know you do. But is there something I can help you with right now?"
"Nothing," she's quick to answer, despite the appreciative smile she'd been bestowing on him. "Lanie just texted; they're almost here. Is everything ready?" she asks, and not for the first time since they started prepping.
Straightening one of the platters on the counter, Rick nods. "Dinner is in the oven, finger foods are out, and three kinds of drinks are chilling. Plus, I can always break out the shaker and make cocktails if anyone wants. We are ready."
Kate nods in return, glancing around the loft like she's searching for anything else that might be out of place. Rick watches her fingers twitch, sees her inhale, and he gets it: she's nervous.
More than that, it's the first time they've had people over since she moved in and she's obviously freaking out a little bit.
"Hey," he murmurs, stepping around the counter, reaching for her, only to have her step hard into him, her arms banding around his waist. "Tonight is going to be fine. More than fine, it's going to be great."
Kate sighs, pressing her nose into his shoulder. "I know, I know. I have no idea why I'm so jittery; it's just our friends. Not like it's the mayor or your poker group."
He nods, slipping his hands along the curve of her back. "But it's the first party we've hosted together," he offers, hoping to help her work through her thoughts. "Since you insisted last year's Halloween party was just mine alone."
Kate hums in acknowledgement. "It was. I didn't do anything except show up and help clean up after it was over. But with this I just keep thinking about how long the boys and I went without even grabbing drinks after work, let alone having dinner together outside of the precinct. And I shouldn't, I know, because–"
"It's in the past," he says with her, brushing his lips across her forehead. "Tonight's about the future, Kate. We're going to have fun with our friends, we're going to find something to tease Esposito about because we can – and because we know he's the one most likely to give us a hard time at work – and it'll be great. No worrying about how long it's been, we'll just promise to do it again soon. And we will. Then when the Old Haunt reopens, we'll have a party there, too."
"Well, that much was a given," she says, bumping her forehead against his collar. "I'm being silly."
"Mmm, maybe a little," he agrees, hoping it's not the wrong move. His girlfriend laughs, though, lifting her head, pressing a kiss to his jaw.
"But it is weird," she adds, leaning back to get his eyes. "It feels kind of like I'm giving them all all-access pass to my life – our life. Which… I mean, obviously they know us, and they see us together every day, but this is where we live outside of work. And it's not like I was hosting dinner parties before I made captain," she finishes on an exasperated, maybe embarrassed, exhale.
His hands fall to her hips, pulling her into a gentle sway. "Well, if it helps get the awkwardness out of the way, I can always make sure to mention how much of a slob you are, leaving your shoes everywhere…"
Kate laughs, listing into him again. He prepares himself for the pinch of her fingers on his ear – maybe his ass – but it doesn't come. "Oh, I'm the slob? What about you, Mr. Metrosexual? With your half a dozen bottles of hair product all over the bathroom vanity?"
Rick grins. "We just make terrible roommates, don't we?" he teases, lifting a hand to cup her jaw. His thumb makes a gentle swipe over her lower lip.
"The worst," she agrees, lifting onto her toes, catching his mouth with hers. Her arms tighten around his waist, pulling him closer, rocking her hips to meet his. "Thanks," she breathes a moment later, punctuating her words with another press of her mouth.
Castle hums, flexing his fingers on her hips. "Anytime. Plus, think of this as a dry run for our future Christmas and New Year parties."
"True," Kate concedes, squeezing the back of his neck and pulling away. "You look good, by the way. Very sexy."
He squares his shoulders, puffing his chest out. "Thank you. And you look spectacular, as always."
His girlfriend smiles, crossing the floor on sure feet the moment the buzzer sounds.
"Showtime," she singsongs, pulling the door open to admit their friends.
He's pleased to note that Kate's tension lasts all of forty seconds before she's laughing and shrugging off gentle quips from the boys about living the good life. Rick watches her flit around the living room, making sure their guests are happy and have everything they need, only to realize he's the one hanging back now.
How long has it been since he's done something like this? The answer comes to him quickly: too long. Book parties, other industry events, and holidays aside, it has been a long time for him, too, and it's nice to do something so… normal again. It's even better to be doing it with the love of his life.
"Rick," Kate calls, lifting an eyebrow when he shakes the cobwebs out of his brain. "Any particular reason why you're guarding the snacks?"
He chuckles, snagging his own wine glass and joining them in the other room.
"Someone has to," he says, lifting a shoulder. "I saw the way Esposito was eyeing the onion dip."
Laughter echoes around the living room, and he watches Lanie nudge the detective – soon to be sergeant as they'd just found out – but Espo just shrugs.
"It's good dip, bro."
"Kate made it," Castle says with no small amount of pride, brushing his hand over the small of Beckett's back. "She made dinner, too. From scratch," he adds, unable to keep himself from bragging on her behalf.
The boys share a glance, obviously impressed, but of course they tease instead of letting it show. "Look at you, Beckett. Captain and culinary expert," Ryan says.
Kate lifts a shoulder, offering a wry grin. "I try. Just make sure you don't fill up on dip. 'Cause if you don't eat your share of the main course, I might have to hurt you."
They snort, but it's Esposito who speaks up, "S'that how you're going to get your kids to eat their dinner? With threats?"
Beckett rolls her eyes. "I was going to say only you two are ridiculous enough to warrant a warning like that, but then I think about the fact that Castle gorged himself on cupcakes before we went out to dinner last week," she drawls, glancing sideways at him. Rick grins, lifting his shoulders when she turns back to the boys. "So I figure it's probably a wash at this point to expect different from my kids. I'll just order you around instead of sweating it."
Although the others laugh, Rick's breath catches in his throat. Does she know what she just said? Lanie obviously does, given the gleam in her eye, but Kate…
His girlfriend turns again, catching his fingers, her smile soft, promising. Dragging her teeth over her lip, she winks.
Oh, she knows. She knows.
Not for the first time in recent weeks, the ring in his sock drawer calls to him. If not tonight, he's going to ask her soon.
He wakes the following Thursday morning to the rise and fall of Kate's chest against his, her cheek pressed to his shoulder. Contentment floods his belly, and his fingers trace the ridges of Kate's spine in hopes of infusing her with the same warmth that flows through his veins.
She stirs, sliding her knee between his.
"Sleep, babe," she murmurs, slipping her hand down his side. "'Alarm's set for later."
Rick nods, dotting her hair with a sleepy pucker.
"Sorry," he breathes, pulling her closer. She hums in acceptance of the apology, shifting closer.
His eyes slip shut, his thoughts drifting, possibilities rolling through his head.
It would be so easy to ask her now, to slip out of bed and scoop the ring out of his drawer, maybe slide it onto her finger and wait. But he doesn't. He knows she wants something soft and intimate, and while it's sweet, waking up with a ring on her finger isn't going to cut it. Not for him.
He wants nothing more than to ask Kate to marry him, but he needs a way to ask that's as extraordinary as Kate Beckett herself.
He decides to start with a meal. Some place delicious, but unpretentious, somewhere they won't be on display. He won't ask at the restaurant, though; she would hate the spectacle that would inevitably follow. No, he'll wait to ask the actual question until they're alo–
"Rick?"
He blinks, forcing his eyes open to find her propped on her elbow, a sleepy smile on her lips.
"Something you want to tell me?" she asks, teasing a fingertip down his sternum.
"Hmm?" he asks, clearing his throat, feigning nonchalance. "What do you mean?"
Kate tilts her head. "You were mumbling 'no, not there,' in your sleep." She quirks an eyebrow, dipping to kiss his chest.
"I–oh. That's weird. Not sure where 'there' is," he rumbles, brushing careful fingers through her hair.
She looks up, her smirk widening. "In that case, maybe we should find out. How 'bout here?"
"There is good," he breathes, urging her up, painting a kiss on her lips. "Here's even better."
"Here?" she echoes, sliding across his body. "Hmm," she hums into his mouth. "I think you should show me all the best places, just to be sure."
He's happy to oblige, both in their bed and in the shower, and once they're satiated for the time being, he leaves her to get ready for work while he prepares coffee and cuts fruit for breakfast. She emerges from their room just as he pours two mugs, looking stunning and far more relaxed than a woman on her way to work should, and makes a beeline for her coffee.
"Thanks, Rick," she says, her voice low and warm.
"It is, as always, my pleasure," he murmurs, popping a chunk of cantaloupe into his mouth. "Now, you're sure all you have today is paperwork?"
Kate nods, bumping him with her shoulder. "Uh huh. And the boys have training for the first part of the day."
He accepts that with a tiny grumble. The plan was always that he would stay home today to get stuff done before tonight, but every cell in his body crackles with excitement, the magnetic need to be at Beckett's side.
"But you'll call if the boys get anything interesting later? Or if you're just bored and want a distraction?"
"I'll call," Kate promises, leaning in to swipe her lips over his cheek. "You just be ready to go cheer your mom on tonight."
"How could I not be ready? The horror of 48-Hour First Line is finally about to end. There is mercy in this world," he adds, turning to find his mother making her way down the steps.
Kate snickers, waving. "Morning, Martha."
His mother smiles, offering her a small nod before opening her mouth and delivering her first line in lieu of a hello.
Kate grins, stepping up to kiss his mother's cheek. "You've got this," she assures.
Martha leans into the affection, cupping Kate's cheek in return. The next time she delivers her line, it's softer. The third time, more forceful, and Rick sees Kate press her lips together to avoid laughing.
Oh, so many crazy things she'd gotten herself into when she moved in with him. He's lucky she loves him.
"I better go," Beckett murmurs a few minutes later, smoothing a hand down his arm. "I'm already running behind." The 'thanks to you' goes unspoken, but Rick offers an unrepentant grin anyway.
"Just like to be thorough when I wash your back," he says, brushing his lips over the line of her cheek. "I'll make you more coffee before you go."
Kate leaves a few minutes later after blowing him a kiss and squeezing his mother's arm, offering promises to see her at her show.
Rick watches her go, turning once the door snaps shut to find his mother studying him.
"What?"
She pats his cheek, but only repeats her line.
Yeah, he should've seen that coming.
He tries writing while Kate's at work, but instead he ends up sitting in the kitchen, turning the ring box over in his hands, brainstorming his proposal.
He'd been onto something earlier as he dozed, and though the details are a little fuzzy (only partially because of the amazing morning he and Kate had), he wants to keep the momentum going. He toys with the idea of a trip to the tropics, proposing on their balcony at sunset after dinner, but Kate takes convincing to ask for time off, and he doesn't want to wait for a holiday for her built-in vacation days. So that leaves the Hamptons – but again there's the issue of time off – or a spot in the city, with a sunset proposal still on the table.
And that's where he's stuck.
Well, not stuck, but he wants it to be perfect, and the perfect idea just hasn't come to him yet. After all, he knows she'll say yes, so why not make it unforgettable?
An hour and a half later, he decides to give himself a break and take a walk to clear his head, tightening his grip on the ring and sliding from his stool. He'll get his mother some flowers for later, and maybe inspiration will strike as he walks down the block. Or maybe he'll get lucky and Kate will call and want to go out for lunch, despite her insistence that she'll eat at her desk today.
Either way, some of the pressure will be off for a little while.
Given that it's the middle of the day, he's not surprised to find that the streets are crowded with locals on their lunch hour as well as tourists on the prowl for something new and exciting. He watches the large groups cause a few slowdowns, but as one guy keeping to himself, he's able to make it down the sidewalk without any trouble, stopping only when something catches his eye. A few times he digs his phone out of his pocket to take a picture – Kate's going to enjoy the photo of a pack of cats on leashes – but for the most part, he just walks, taking in the amazing, strange city of New York.
He comes home with an armload of flowers – some for his mother, some for Kate – a scene in his head, and a spring in his step. He hasn't made much headway on his proposal plan, but he's relaxed, which is what he thinks Kate would like most; not a performance, just him. If he's relaxed, the right moment will come. He'll ask, she'll say yes, and everything will be great.
Except for the part where, in the span of a couple hours, he's managed to misplace the damn ring.
Okay, that is definitely not great.
He searches high and low, trying to keep the building panic from taking over, but the damn thing is just gone. It's not in his pockets, it's not on the counter, it's not in any of the drawers he's kept it in for the last month and a half.
An offhand thought has him tearing out of the loft and running down the streets of SoHo, retracing his steps in case the box fell out of his pocket at any point while he was walking. It's a bust, too. The owner of the flower stand practically scoffs and tells him he's shit out of luck; hundreds of people have walked by in the time since he was there, so even if he had dropped it, the chances of recovery are slim.
Despair tugs at his throat. How could he have been so stupid? For over a month he's kept it safe, and in one morning he's lost it?
Kate's waiting for him with an amused smile on her face when he trudges back into the loft. Early. She's much earlier than he had expected to see her, and any other time he would be overjoyed, but right now he wouldn't have minded the extra time to wallow over his mistake.
"Hey you," she calls, lowering her book to her lap. "Told you working through my lunch would get me home earlier."
He dips his head, trying not to let his frustration show. He might not succeed, but if Kate notices, she lets it go.
"I admit, you were right. But I bet it wasn't nearly as much fun as having me there to bother you with my boyish charm."
Her lips lift. "It was certainly more productive," she teases, tugging on his shirt to bring him down for a kiss. "Mmm," she tilts her head, "what's wrong?" she asks, thumbing his side.
Ah, so maybe she's not letting it go after all. Rick shakes his head, coming back to taste her lips again. Like he's going to tell her he's in the middle of a manhunt for an engagement ring he'd previously been in the process of trying to figure out how to put on her finger.
"Nothing. I had planned to write, but I got sidetracked instead. That said, I would love to forget all about that and entice you to put that book down instead." He wiggles his eyebrows, finding it easy to summon a cheesy leer.
His girlfriend laughs, shaking her head. "Tell you what? Write fast, and if we have time before we need to leave for your mom's show, the book will be but a distant memory."
"Deal," he agrees, trotting into the office for his laptop as Kate's laughter carries throughout the house. He's still on edge, still kicking himself for being so stupid, but maybe just maybe all is not lost. Maybe the ring is somewhere in the loft. Maybe he's found a new hiding place so good it has – momentarily – stumped even him.
He'll look again while Kate's getting ready for the show.
The ring is still AWOL by the time they have to leave, but Rick does everything he can to put it out of his mind. It's his mother's night, and he won't let his screw up get in the way of being there to support her.
The show is amazing. His mother puts her heart and soul into the role, nailing that sweet opening line of hers and shining from beginning to end. Pride warms his chest watching the crowd stand for a well-deserved ovation; his mother has earned every ounce of that adoration. Working herself to the point of exhaustion so many times, never backing down when things got tough, and coming out stronger for it.
And she's totally going to win another Tony for her efforts. No one will be robbing Martha Rodgers of her third one this time.
He tells her so when he meets her at the stage door with flowers in his hands and Alexis and Kate beaming at his side.
"Thank you, Kiddo," Martha breathes, holding him tightly, leftover adrenaline causing her fingers to tremble against his shoulders. "Thank you all," she adds after a moment, pulling back to beckon Kate and Alexis into the embrace. "My family."
Kate smiles, relaxing into the affection. "You were amazing. We're so proud of you, Martha."
A soft smile lights his mother's face. "Darling, a woman is only as good as the people she allows in her life, and I have surrounded myself with the best of the best–you three." Her eyes find his, radiating love and an urgency he's surprised to find he understands. "I'm privileged to have you. So when we part for the night, I want you to give the world your best."
Knocking her head against his, she murmurs, "And I want you to just do it, kiddo. Whatever's stopping you – just do it."
Throat tight, he nods. "You stole that from Nike, Mother."
She laughs, patting his back and stepping away. She comes back to hug Kate first, then her granddaughter.
"Now, don't wait up for me," she announces, swaying with Alexis. "Because I will be home in the morning."
"We will have the aspirin and a don't ask attitude at the ready," Rick quips, chuckling when Kate smacks his chest with the back of her hand.
His girlfriend leans into the arm he slips around her shoulders, curling her own arm underneath his jacket and around his waist.
"Ignore him. We'll see you tomorrow, Martha," she says. "Have fun."
His mother winks, gives him a knowing look before turning to kiss Alexis goodbye. And with that she's gone, off to join her fellow actors to meet the rest of their adoring public.
"Well," he says, looking to his daughter, then meeting Kate's eyes. "Shall we head home?"
They nod, falling into step beside him, their steps unhurried even as they fight their way through the crowd.
Alexis splits off from them a few blocks later, kissing his cheek and squeezing Kate warmly.
"It's girls' night at Paige's," she explains in response to his quizzical look. "Taylor and Kelsey will be there too. They called me earlier and asked if we could do something since it's been so long. Kelsey's bringing cupcakes."
He nods, rubbing her arm. "I think that sounds great. Have fun, sweetheart. And bring home the leftovers if there are any."
Laughing, her dark head bobs in agreement. "I will. I'll see you both tomorrow."
They watch her dart away, disappearing down the steps of the nearest subway entrance.
"And then there were two," Kate teases, slotting her fingers through his, giving him a gentle tug. "Guess we'll have to entertain ourselves."
Rick chuckles, squeezing her hand. "I wonder how we'll ever manage."
Kate shakes her head, offering a cheeky, sideways smile. "I have some ideas."
His heart tumbles. He does, too. Ring or no ring, tonight's the night. It's gorgeous out. She's breathtaking, wearing a soft purple dress and lace wrap, her smile rarely fading from her lips. She's happy, he's happy (missing ring notwithstanding), and he's going to forget worrying about a plan and take his mother's pilfered advice.
"Why don't we grab some food from the Thai place on the corner and take it up to the roof," he suggests, thumbing her knuckles.
Kate rocks into him, fitting her curves to his, pressing a hard kiss on his lips. He gasps into her mouth, spanning her waist with a hand, both to keep her there and keep himself upright.
"I think," she says against his lips, her voice husky with wanting, "that is a great idea. But we need to stop at home before we go up to the roof. I want to grab a blanket and some wine."
"Whatever you want," he agrees, punctuating the promise with another kiss.
Her lips curve into a mysterious smile, but he doesn't think to ask what it's about before she tucks herself into his side and nudges him to move forward.
"Do you want to change?" Kate asks when they step into the loft with takeout bags in their hands. "I'm not going to, but… up to you."
Rick shakes his head, contemplating whether he should hang up his jacket. It's mild out tonight, but that doesn't mean it won't be chilly on the roof.
"I'm okay. Wine, you said?"
Kate smiles, drawing her lower lip between her teeth. Interesting; that enigmatic smile is back on her face. "Uh huh."
"Coming right up." He deposits the bags on the counter, moving to their wine collection. "Any preference?"
"Mmm, no. But maybe grab some water, too?"
"Sure." He glances over his shoulder to find her watching him, eyes wide, her face expectant. "You okay?"
"Yeah," she breathes, her cheeks turning pink. She shifts her weight, glancing around the room. "Just… good night."
Warmth works its way down his spine. "It has been a good night."
And it's about to get better. He selects her favorite Châteauneuf-du-Pape, lifting two glasses from the rack before turning to the refrigerator for the water.
The black velvet box on the middle shelf beside the small selection of glass water bottles stops him short. Holy–has it been in here the entire time? Dimly, he remembers holding the ring in his hand as he meandered around the kitchen preparing for his walk, but he'd–why had he put it in the fridge, of all places?
The tap of Kate's heels gives him warning that she's approaching, but in his astonishment, he doesn't even try to hide the box. She steps beside him, plucking the wine bottle and the glasses from his fingers and placing them on the counter. When she returns, her lips brush his cheek as her body fits against his side.
"I noticed it by the OJ when I got home," she explains into his ear, rubbing her hand down the tense line of his back. "Interesting hiding spot," she adds, her voice light.
He chokes on a laugh, closing his fingers around the box. "Not really where I was planning to hide it. Honestly, I thought I'd lost it. I–that's what earlier was about."
She hums, resting her cheek on his shoulder. "Freaked you out, huh?"
"God, yes."
Her fingers trip along his back, calming the rapid-fire thud of his heart. "Rick, just ask me," she says, sounding so very calm, so ready, he almost forgets to breathe. God, he should've done this weeks ago.
The fridge door clatters shut and Kate steps back to give him room to fumble with the box and lift the ring from the miniature pillow inside.
"Oh, that's kinda cold," he laughs.
She laughs, taking a shaky breath. "I bet."
"Kate," he breathes, trying to center himself, to find the words for everything that's in his heart. In the end, they come easily, so easily. "When we met I was drifting, aimless. And then you knocked me on my ass, didn't put up with any of my shit, and made my life extraordinary. You taught me to be my best self. You are the joy in my heart, and the last person I want to see every night before I close my eyes. I love you, Katherine Beckett, will you marry me?"
She sniffs, lifting a hand to swipe at her eyes. Her mouth opens and closes half a dozen times before she responds, "You did all of that for me too, you know. The moment I met you, it made my life extraordinary. You taught me to be my best self, and now I look forward to tomorrow's adventures. I love you, Richard Castle, and yes, I will marry you."
His hand draws her in for a frantic, watery kiss before she even manages to finish her sentence.
She said yes!
"Just to make sure I heard you right, you said yes," he murmurs when they part. "Correct?"
Kate laughs, lifting her hands to take his face between her palms. "Yes, Rick. Now will you give me my ring already? Or are you gonna stick it in the freezer for a little while?"
He snorts, stealing another soft kiss before slipping the ring onto her finger, giving it a gentle push past her knuckle. It's a little too large, he notes as it twists toward the space between her fingers, but nothing that can't be resized.
"Oh, that is chilly," she breathes, grinning. "And it's big."
Laughter spills from his lips, but he just lifts her knuckles to his mouth. "I am so not touching that one."
Her fingers curl around his, tugging him in. "Then touch something else."
Joy blooms in his chest, spilling over as her mouth finds his again, her arms winding their way around him tightly.
"You still want to go to the roof?" he asks once he catches his breath, resting his forehead on hers.
His fiancée – and oh, that sounds so good to say – grins, rubbing noses with him. "Yes, but only for a little while; I have plans for the rest of the night."
She pulls away, snags their wine glasses by the stems and wraps her hand around the neck of the bottle, heading toward the door, trusting him to follow with their food. "I'm skipping the blanket after all," she adds, looking over her shoulder. "You'll just have to keep me warm up there."
"Best. Night. Ever," he exhales, practically racing across the apartment to join his fiancée for the first meal of the rest of their lives.
A/N: I know I say this every time, but thank you all for your amazing support for this story. There's just the epilogue left now, and I hope you'll join me again in just a few days. Thank you all so much.