Fluffy Hair and Nosy Bosses

Disclaimer: Don't own.
A/N I: Thanks to HayNSW2711, Craftygirl11, ncisloverinnc, SupernaturalGeek, volvagia09, storyfan101, AgentFraniJones, leeanz, shestarsky, PurpleHipposRock, jmlane1966, loveRnB, , pheonixriv, guest m, guest (x3), Tanschana, Gemini girl 96, Mei2, and NCISRookie33 for dropping reviews!
A/N II: Originally this was supposed to be up last Wednesday, but I wasn't done/happy with it. Now I am and here it is...

April Fools: 5-0 Style

He was not crazy. No matter what some might claim, he was quite in control of his sensibilities. He may pull stunts that appear insane, but he's always, well, mostly, in control. But this, this was causing him to slightly unravel.

It was supposed to be his day off. He had a dentist appointment in the middle of the day and just took the whole day off so he could run errands, but right now it looked like the only running he'd be doing is running scared.

He was not crazy...but he was starting to get paranoid.

The day had started off the same way every other one did. He'd woken up and started his coffee maker before stretching out. It wasn't a great idea to have coffee before heading out on a run, but he liked the taste and he made sure he didn't drink too much. When the bell on the machine dinged, he was finished his stretches and he drank down the coffee while fetching his newspaper and checking his phone. Coffee finished, he set out on his run.

So far, so good. But part way into his run he started to twitch. He seemed a bit more energetic than he normally would. Couldn't seem to focus either.

He was confused by the time he made it back to his house and went in search of his coffee grounds. The label confirmed his belief that it was decaf, but he couldn't shake the suspicion that it was caffeinated. He also couldn't shake the twitchiness.

It got worse after his shower when he went to brush his teeth and something twigged in his mind as he squeezed out the toothpaste. Halfway through, he pulled the brush out of his mouth and spat out the toothpaste. It was a different colour and taste! But it was the same tube he always used. He shook his head and finished his teeth.

His pants threw him another curveball. He grabbed his favourite pair of cargo pants and yanked them on, only to find the bottom hem hanging a full six inches off the floor. His legs hadn't grown since he was a teen, but did he wash his pants wrong? Did he accidently shrink them? He kicked them off and he grabbed a pair of shorts instead. It didn't matter if they had shrunk a little bit, although it appeared that they were fine.

Unfortunately he had no time to waste as he needed to get out of the house if he was going to get all his errands done before his appointment. He grabbed his keys and ran out the door to his truck, swung in and reached for the brake pedal.

Reached?

What, now his legs were too short?

He grumbled and huffed as he shimmied his seat forward, clicking it into a closer spot. Must be because he's wearing sandals and not boots.

He made it to his first stop with no issues and found everything he was looking for. The problems started when he pulled out his wallet to pay. He dug out his debit card, only to find he had pulled out...a Victoria Secret savings card? Maybe Catherine was trying to leave a hint. The cashier stared at him as he went through every slot until he found his debit card packed in with his credit card. Clearly he wasn't paying attention the last time he put it away.

The rest of his errands went fine and he made it to his appointment on time, but he was feeling...befuddled.

3 weeks earlier

The team waved as Steve boarded the plane that would take him to the aircraft carrier for his training update. The watched as it lifted into the sky and disappeared.

Danny turned and stretched. "Well, I'm glad he's gone." Chin and Kono turned to their teammate and stared at him. "What!? I need a break from him being a SEAL-ness."

Chin squinted, "SEAL-ness? Are you referring to the fact that he is a SEAL?"

"No, sometimes he's such a princess but in an overly testosterone way. He's been so moody lately."

Kono cleared her throat "and whiney."

Chin sighed, "and snoopy."

Danny grinned, "See, we've all noticed. He's been a pain for a while. And I still can't believe he thinks Brady is a better quarterback than Manning. Please. There's no 'house that Brady built'."

"You're going to hold onto that for a while, aren't you?" Kono smirked at the scowling detective.

He crossed his arms and mumbled "It was a terrible thing to say and I am taking it personally."

"That aside," Chin held out his hands and eyed the other two. "I think we need a plan."

"For what?" Kono's face showed her confusion as she looked at her cousin.

Danny was curious as well. "Yeah, what she said."

Chin mentally rolled his eyes, leave it to Danny to second someone else's opinion in more words than the original statement. "A plan to put the pain in our collective butt in his place." Then he grinned a grin that neither one of them had ever seen before – and it worried them.

Present times

Chin calmly walked away from where Steve's truck sat in the dentist parking lot. He grabbed a seat at a nearby outdoor cafe and pulled out his list. Danny had taken much pleasure in breaking into Steve's house last night while he was out with Catherine to plant the pants Kono had stolen and shortened, to switch out the coffee grounds, and squeeze different toothpaste into Steve's tube. Kono had swung by after her late surveillance shift she had done for HPD and moved Steve's truck seat as well as messed with his wallet. She was stealthy and able to sneak in and out without Steve noticing.

He smiled to himself as he thought back to when they were working out the plan while eating Kamekona's newest shrimp concoction. Danny was surprised by the complexity of Chin's plan, but Kono had just stared at him and stated that she wasn't shocked that he had these kinds of tricks up his sleeve. He had laid out his ideas and they all picked their parts. It wasn't a coincidence that Steve's dentist appointment was today. Chin had 'rescheduled' it for him when they had finalized the plan. Speaking of rescheduling, Chin had an email to send.

Steve was laid back in his chair, waiting for his mouth to freeze enough for the dentist to start his work. They had left him alone while he waited and he was playing with his phone until an email popped up. He opened it, read it, and then panicked. He speed-dialed Chin, figuring that he would be the most honest with him.

"Hey Steve, how's your day off?"

"Schiiiin, I thouwch zeh buuggit meeeetigh wazz necht weech."

"What was that? Are you at the dentist?"

Steve scowled, well, he wanted to scowl but the freezing caused only his forehead to participate in the facial expression. "Yesh, I em acht zeh dentish. Emaaal ahboght zeh buggit meeeetigh."

"Hmm, are you talking about a meeting?"

"Yesh! Buggit!"

"A buggy meeting? Are there insects in the office? Or is there a virus in our computer system?"

"Noooh." Steve tried to swallow but still felt some spit dribbling out. Not wanting to be caught drooling, he wiped it away while trying to figure out how to explain what he was saying. "Buggit, wistch moneee and pahy chechks."

Chin hummed into the phone and mumbled Steve's words. "Ah! Money and pay checks. Are you talking about the budget meeting?"

"Yesh! Ezts tumoorrough?"

"It's in two weeks. What did the dentist give you?"

"Buh I guot en emaaal."

"An email? It must have been a mistake. Don't worry about it."

"'Kay. Bye." Steve hung up the phone in relief. It was perfect timing as the dentist walked back in while snapping on his gloves.

Steve stumbled back into his house, his mouth still slightly frozen. He was tired as all the events of the day had taken a toll on him. He could have sworn he'd grown taller during his dentist appointment because when he tried to climb into his truck, he found it lower than normal. Somewhere in the back of his mind a thought bubbled out that his tires looked a little soft, but he was too exhausted to acknowledge it. He kicked his sandals off and collapsed face first onto the couch. He was lying there half-asleep when Catherine came running in the door, full of energy. She shook his shoulder and he groaned into the couch cushion.

"What's with you? It was your day off and you're tired?" Catherine smiled behind Steve's back.

"It was awful." The cushion muffled his words, but his whimpering tone came through.

"Oh, what happened?" Catherine tugged him into a seated position.

"The coffee was...toothpaste colour...too tall and then too short...lingerie...changed date...tooth...tall again...face hurts." His head fell back against the couch and his eyes closed.

Catherine tapped her chin with her finger. "Huh, that sounds eventful. It's time for dinner, do you want some soup to get the last of the freezing out?"

Steve gently shook his head no.

"How about we get you up to bed; you can sleep off whatever's still in your system."

A gentle nodding yes prompted Catherine to pull him up off the couch and together they worked the way up the stairs where he flopped onto his bed. His last thought before he fell asleep was that this was the worst first day of the month ever.

"So?" Kono grinned as Catherine pulled her chair up to the table.

She grabbed a pretzel and smiled. "Bewildered."

"Confused." Chin added.

"Baffled." Catherine supplied.

"Totally disorientated." Chin said while holding in laughter.

Danny waved his hands, "In summary, a successful prank on our fearless leader."

"Completely." Catherine giggled.

Danny raised his glass, "A toast to our own scheming, plotting, conspiring, and never-to-be-fully-trusted-again, Chin Ho Kelly!"

A chorus of 'here-here's' sounded along with clinking glasses and laughter.