Queen's Sacrifice

Wisteria lay in bed reading after her long day. Zevran had gone somewhere, she wasn't sure where. She had just put out the lamp and heard the door open and he slipped into their room.

"Hello, sneaky pants." She greeted him.

He only chuckled and she heard him undressing in the dark. Then he slipped into bed next to her. Zevran did wish he could share his moments with Queen Anora with her, but he didn't want to spoil her illusions about the woman. It would have to remain a conspiracy of one. Perhaps one day, in many years, he could tell her the story.

In many years? Zevran wondered at the thought. This was a novel concept and one he had grown surprisingly comfortable with.

There was, however, another story he could tell Wisteria. "I have an amusing story to tell you, my dear. Something from my sordid past." He put an arm around her and snuggled up close.

"Oh? I thought I had heard them all." She cuddled up to him, prepared to listen.

"No, I had forgotten about this one. I never told you about the time I scared a man to death. Quite literally." He chuckled. "I described to him the horrible way he was going to die by the poison I had just given him and he chose to jump out the window and fall to his death instead."

"That sounds sensible," Wisteria said. "Better to end it quickly." Zevran's stories were amusing on some level but they always left her feeling a little disturbed too.

"Only, the amusing part was, I was lying, I hadn't given him any poison at all." He laughed.

"How...economical," Wisteria observed. They both chuckled and eventually fell asleep.

On the next day Fergus was summoned to see Queen Anora quite early in the morning. He waited for Eamon to get up and break his fast and join him. Together they went to see the Queen. She looked stunning today. Everything about her was perfection, except her eyes looked a little red and weary and... there was something else there too. But she was adept at disguising her emotions and Fergus couldn't quite make it out. Whatever it was she seemed more approachable and open.

"Fergus." She rose quickly before he could bow and kissed him on the cheek. She clasped Eamon's hands in her own and welcomed him warmly.

Both men were taken aback. This was a changed woman who stood before them, or one putting on a good performance.

"Please sit, Gentlemen." She indicated the chairs waiting for them.

"Queen Anora..." Fergus started to say.

"Please, just call me Anora, Fergus. There's no need for such formality between us. You too, Eamon."

They all sat and she cleared her throat. "I just wanted to express my apologies again at everything that happened with Dulan. I realize I misjudged his character terribly and trusted him too easily and he abused that trust." She swallowed hard, finding that fear made her speak eloquently. "This is another reason, I think, why I should marry you, Fergus. I have shown some lapses in judgment and I think ruling with you, we will make better decisions together than I have alone." She peered into his eyes, hoping she did not see distrust. He did look wary.

"Anora, I would like to believe that. But I need to know that you have put aside the bitterness from events in the past. Especially towards my sister. I know you perhaps have reasons to hate her, perhaps even valid reasons, but I know that she has put aside those events from the past. I don't think I can marry you until I know you have too."

She paused and drew a deep breath and looked between the two men. "I have thought long and hard recently about all that has happened and I assure you, I want to move beyond the past. With every fiber of my body I want to forget about all that." Her eyes teared up and one large tear rolled down her cheek. Fergus reached out and wiped it off. She reached for his hand and smiled tremulously at him.

The gesture was sweet and, Fergus thought, genuine. However, he thought, his sister's advice on getting her out of her corset was perhaps the best way to judge her sincerity.

"Then I suggest we have a private dinner tonight, Anora, and discuss this matter further." He took her hand that was grasping his, and kissed it, his eyes looking up into hers intently, conveying his intentions.

Eamon cleared his throat and shifted nervously in his chair.

Anora smiled and looked at Fergus with wide blue eyes. "I will look forward to that."

Fergus dressed for his private dinner with Anora and went to see his sister. Wisteria looked him over critically. "Are you taking the Dalish balm?" She asked.

He shook his head. "No, I need to keep my wits about me. I'm trying to figure out if she's telling the truth or not."

She nodded. "Good luck, Ferg. You look handsome, she leaned into him. You smell really good too."

He looked a little grim. "Thanks Wisteria. I just hope I can rise to the occasion, so to speak."

She looked at him with a sigh. "We're related so perhaps we share some of the same... characteristics. Just trust that nature will take its course. It always seems to work for me."

"I can't believe we're talking about this." He shook his head, hugged her and left.

Anora tried to calm her nerves but it wasn't working. She understood the implication of Fergus's suggestion of the private dinner and why. She hadn't... not since Cailan. She barely knew Fergus and so much was at stake here, if she couldn't convince him she was sincere she thought Zevran would finish the job of poisoning her.

She had dressed the part tonight. Her hair was down, dressed in soft blond curls. Her gown was loose, low cut, and had just a hint of sheerness to it. She thought she looked pretty, seductive even. She had tried to get her maids to give her advice but they were too shy to advise her about such things. For once she wished she and Wisteria were friends, surely she would have advice in such things.

The major-domo showed Fergus into her private sitting room where there was a fine table waiting for them. It was adorned with flowers and fine place settings. She was sitting by the fireplace and the flames gave her skin a lovely golden glow. She rose and walked over to greet him. The light from the fire illuminated the outline of her body through the sheerness of her gown.

Fergus was held immobile by the sight. Maker, she is beautiful. At that moment he thought his performance anxieties were groundless. Fergus hadn't exactly been celibate since his wife had been killed, but he hadn't been with many women since then. In fact, he could probably number the times on one hand. He was out of practice, especially when it came to courting them. Be bold.

"Anora." He lifted her hand to his lips. After his lips brushed the back of her hand, she used it to caress his cheek. He looked into her eyes, trying to find deceit or lies, but all he saw was... Could it be a hint of fear? She isn't a virgin but perhaps it has been a long time for her too. That thought humanized her to him. This wasn't going to be easy for either of them. He caught her hand and this time kissed it on the inside of the wrist. "You look stunning." He told her.

She smiled shyly at him. "And you look dashing, Fergus." She stepped a little closer to him and looked up at him and smiled. She took his hand and pulled him over to the table. They sat close together and she poured him a glass of wine. He raised it, "To you, Anora," and they clinked their glasses together and sipped the wine. Fergus recognized it, it was one from Highever a very nice vintage. She raised her glass and said, "To us."

Fergus put his glass down. "I can't drink to that just yet." He felt a cruel saying it, but it was true. His reasons for marrying her had changed. He no longer felt she was a threat he had to contain. Perhaps in the future, she might be again. But now she seemed to need him more than he really needed her. The balance of power had shifted for some reason and he wasn't quite sure why. "I need to know you're a woman I can love, Anora. One that doesn't harbor grudges for years. One that doesn't seek revenge on her enemies. I don't know if I can determine that tonight, but I'm willing to try. While we eat why don't you tell me how Josef Dulan came to be such a trusted adviser to you."

Anora got up to open the door and tell her major-domo to begin serving them their supper. She sat back down and cleared her throat. She met Fergus's eyes. "You are right. I was bitter after the blight ended. I tried to be the Queen Ferelden needed me to be and put my bitterness aside. I had lost so much. Cailan, my father, and nearly my crown and my head." Her eyes filled as she remembered. "I betrayed your sister, and then she betrayed me. I suppose I can't really blame her. I hadn't given her much reason to trust me." She looked down at her hands.

"That first year was so difficult. I wished I had had my father to advise me. I didn't really have anyone I could trust. Then Dulan came forward and was a sympathetic ear. He seemed to know his way around politically and he could get things done. I turned over more and more responsibilities to him. I never questioned him about those especially well paid guards. He spent funds on things I didn't really scrutinize closely."

Fergus stopped her. "Just tell me one thing, Anora. Answer me truthfully. Did you try to have Wisteria killed?"

She looked directly into his eyes. "I won't lie. Yes, I told Dulan I wanted her to die. I know he tried twice."

The major-domo brought in their first course and neither spoke while it was served. Fergus wasn't sure he had any appetite now. When the butler had left he nodded. "Thank you for being honest, Anora."

She nodded sadly. "I'm sorry, Fergus. I was so filled with hatred for her. Dulan had fed my desire for revenge for so many years." She felt certain she was signing her own death warrant with the admission.

Fergus sipped a few spoonfuls of soup. "Did you have anything to do with those children disappearing?"

"No! I would never have allowed that." She looked up at him tearfully. She wasn't eating.

"What has changed, Anora?" He asked. "You seem very different from even a few days ago."

She sighed. "I have seen what I had become and it frightens me. When I heard about what Dulan had done, I realized that my weaknesses had enabled that to happen, even if I wasn't directly responsible."

Fergus smiled slightly. Maybe there is hope for her. "And you want us to marry why?"

"Other than the reasons I gave before, I don't think I could err like this again with you beside me. I could have a family and a husband to love, and a sister too. People who will not kowtow and tell me what they think I want to hear, but would be honest with me and tell me when I'm wrong."

The major-domo came and served the next course, roast duck with currant sauce.

Fergus nodded at Anora. "I think those are valid reasons."

Anora looked relieved. "Do you think Wisteria would forgive me?"

"I don't think she realizes you made two attempts on her life. Dulan did a good job of making them look like they come from someone else. As far as she is concerned, she thinks you have forgiven her, or at least she hopes so."

"Will you tell her?" Anora asked.

"No, not if you're genuine in your regrets. I don't see a need to stir the pot."

Anora sighed with relief. "Thank you, Fergus. I truly do regret everything." She picked at her duck, barely eating.

"Fergus, I know you've seen me at my worst now. I've told you terrible things about myself. Do you think you could marry me still, knowing this."

He ate another bite of duck, it was delicious. He was finally starting to notice his meal. "I think, Anora, for the first time I've seen who you really are. I think you have shown me that you're a real woman, one that makes mistakes and admits to her mistakes. This Anora is not the proud, arrogant Queen I first agreed to marry, simply because she was a threat to people I care for and I thought I might be able to keep in check."

Tears flooded to her eyes again. "Thank you, Fergus, for your compassion and understanding."

He smiled at her. "There's just one thing..."

She looked up at him, her eyes questioning.

"I like a girl with a healthy appetite. Eat! This duck is delicious." He gave her hand a squeeze.

The rest of the dinner passed pleasantly. Fergus felt like the pretenses between them had been dispelled and this was a woman, not a queen, that he could properly woo.

After dessert they sat together by the fire and drank brandy. He enjoyed watching the fire reflecting off her hair and skin. She had relaxed considerably and that fear in her eyes was gone and he thought he saw desire. He finally kissed her and he felt his own desire rising and hers too. She took his hand and lead him to her bedroom and he knew for sure this was a woman he could marry and eventually love.