Chapter Twenty Six: Discussions

As he reached the portrait of the Head Girl and her best friend's room, Severus pulled his wand from the inside pocket of his robes and removed the complex invisibility spell that he had used to ensure that no other member of the faculty saw him on his journey to this part of the castle. He paused momentarily on the threshold of the room, before muttering a universal password that staff had been provided with at the beginning of the year and watching the portrait of Sir Isaac Newton swing open, revealing a small yet cosy sitting room that played host to a dancing fire.

He stepped tentatively into the warmth of the room, fleetingly basking in the welcome flames that heated the room, before he scanned the room for any sign of life.

"Oh gods," exclaimed a familiar yet unusual voice and Severus turned to face the intruder who was stood in the doorway of what looked like a bedroom. "Professor, you're early."

Severus' lips thinned into a tight line as he inwardly scolded himself for removing the invisibility spell a little too prematurely.

"Indeed Miss Weasley," Severus responded as politely as he could when taking into consideration that he felt like a teenage boy caught with his pants down.

"Erm, Hermione's still in the bath. She said you weren't coming until seven and I was supposed to leave, but, err, I didn't know and err…" she trailed off into her own babblings and Snape looked upon her with amused eyes.

"You're babbling Miss Weasley," he stated dryly as he held up an authoritative hand for her to cease such an action. "Although the awkwardness of the situation somewhat warrants you to do so."

Ginny laughed nervously at his statement. "What I meant to say," she corrected more assuredly, "is that 'Mione is still in the bath and wasn't expecting you until seven; by which time I would have been out with Harry."

Snape nodded shortly in understanding. "Of course," he said. "It is not your fault for this discomfiture and it is fair to say that the blame falls solely on my shoulders for arriving too early."

Her lit up with surprise at his honesty.

"Would you like a cup of tea or something whilst you wait for her?" she asked nervously, not knowing what on earth one was to do or offer when in the company of a Professor outside of school hours.

Once again Severus' face portrayed amusement at her unease as he took a seat on the sofa affront of the welcoming fire.

"I will decline your offer Miss Weasley, for I am sure that Miss Granger will positively faint with alarm if she emerges from her bath to find me sat here with a mug of tea in my hands and having a cosy chat with her best friend."

Ginny smiled warmly and took up a seat beside him; as she did so he regarded her with immense curiosity.

"I trust you are aware of mine and Miss Granger's situation?" he asked after a moment of awkward silence and observation.

Ginny simply nodded in reply, not trusting herself to keep her reply concise and coherent if she were to verbalise it.

"And I also trust therefore, as a friend of Miss Granger's, that you will be able to keep your knowledge to yourself?"

"Of course," Ginny replied. "I wouldn't do or say anything that could give the game away."

"That is good to hear."

"One thing though," Ginny said bluntly. "You are going to stick by her aren't you?"

"I don't really think that's any of your business Miss Weasley," he replied with more coldness than he had shown since his arrival.

"Well it is really," she persisted, "because as you said, I am a great friend of Hermione and she means more to me than anything in the world. I don't want to see her hurt."

Severus nodded in concurrence but still, although empathising with the young girl's feelings, did not feel the need to elaborate or answer her question.

"I just want to know that you aren't going to leave her on her own with a baby and no prospects."

"What sort of a man do you think I am Miss Weasley?" Severus asked boldly.

"Well I don't know sir," she responded sincerely, "because the only knowledge of you that I have is as a result of my observations as you as a Professor, not as the man you are with my friend."

"I will not abandon Miss Granger," he stated resolutely and with no attempts to further his statement.

"Good," Ginny said as she stared thoughtfully into the fire, "because she does love you you know."

"She does?" Severus asked, once again inwardly reprimanding himself for his overly curious tones.

"Yes."

"Ginny!" called a muffled voice from behind the confines of the bathroom door before Severus could inquire about Hermione's supposed love for him even further. "Have you seen my bathrobe? I was sure I put it in here but I can't find it!"

"It's in your bedroom 'Mione," Ginny called back, her attentions averting from Snape and to the bathroom door which was closed tightly.

"Would you get it for me please?" Hermione responded. "Severus will be here soon and I don't want to give him the wrong impression by being half naked when he arrives."

Ginny turned back to Snape who was playing with the cuff of his shirt and trying to stifle the blush that was rising in his cheeks.

"Actually Professor," Ginny said mischievously in quiet tones so that they wouldn't reach the bathroom, "Harry will be waiting for me and I'm already late."

Severus looked towards her with an impassive expression. "And?"

"So I don't suppose you'll be able to pass her bathrobe into her? After all," Ginny added as she slipped on her scarf and gloves, "we don't want her catching a cold now do we?"

Severus snarled her fiercely for her meddling.

"I'll see you tomorrow in Potions sir," she finished with a broad smile as she opened the portrait to leave. "Be good."

"Ten points from Gryffindor for your effrontery Miss Weasley!" he called, but the young witch was already too far out of earshot to care.

"Ginny!" Hermione shrieked once more from the bathroom. "Did you hear me?"

Severus grinned at her impatience as he stepped to retrieve her robe from her bedroom and returned shortly to the closed bathroom door. It took him a moment or two to gather his strength and composure before he pushed the door gently open.

As he stepped quietly inside with the sleuth and slink that only a spy such as he could entertain, his eyes fell upon her in the far corner of the room, wrapping a towel around her sopping hair and bending over the bathtub to pull the plug and drain the water. He crept up slowly behind her and wrapped two strong arms around her waist, pulling her close to him and caring not for her dampness contaminating his attire.

"Severus?" she said, finally turning to face him.

In answer to her exclamation he lowered his lips to her neck and began kissing the soft, damp skin just below her ear. She cocked her head to one side, allowing him further access and brought her hand to the nape of his neck so that she could entwine her fingers in his hair.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into her ear as he finally ceased his ministrations (much to her dismay.)

She turned fully on the spot so that she was facing him and relaxed into his embrace. "I think that I should probably apologise also," she admitted with a soft sigh. "I shouldn't have pressured you into talking about it."

"No," he said softly, "you have very right to know what happened."

"If you don't want to tell me-"

She was cut short as he placed a long finger on her lips to cease their movement and therefore her sentence.

"Come on," he said, "if we're going to discuss this then I don't want to do it in a bathroom." He gestured to their surroundings with a gentle smile and a quirking of eyebrows.

She led him by the hand out of the bathroom and through the door next to it, into a lightly decorated bedroom. The door shut behind her and she guided him to the linen clad bed where they were soon laying, her head rested atop of his slowly rising chest.

"I missed doing this when you left," he stated, as he ran his finger methodically through her naturally drying hair. "We used to spend hours upon hours just lying in bed talking about everything and anything."

"I used to think you got bored of doing that," Hermione replied, her eyes cast upwards towards the ceiling in thought.

"Not at all," he corrected forcefully, "those days were the best I can remember spending with you."

She smiled heartily at his admission and her thoughts drifted to the times she had spent with the younger Severus in their combined Head Boy and Girl rooms.

"I never meant to hurt you Hermione," Severus said, breaking her pleasant ruminations of what was.

Her stomach dropped by what seemed a few feet and she swallowed nervously as the subject tentatively moved onto his relationship with Lily, and all sots of terrible conjectures danced around her mind.

Still, despite her saddening emotions and the lump forming in her throat, she managed to inquire: "I know that, I just don't understand why it happened?"

"Because I was lonely and I just wanted to feel some of the care that you had shown me. When you left, she became as much as a friend as you been in the beginning and things developed into something that even we didn't understand at the time."

"But Lily," Hermione furthered, "she loved James, why would she do that do him?"

"After you left and we graduated, Hermione," he informed with regret, "James began his training for the Magical Research and Curse Breaking department of the ministry and was often away in Egypt for several months at a time. Lily and I were both extremely lonely and we compensated for our heartbreak in each other."

Despite her inner protests to the sympathy she was feeling for both Lily and Severus, the pieces of the puzzle of why their relationship had developed, fell into place.

"It went on for a couple of years," he continued, feeling a weight lift gradually off his shoulders, "and I will not lie to you by saying that I never began to fall for her. It was not love Hermione," he added quickly but still convincingly, "I felt nothing compared to how I felt about you, but I will admit that we shared something more than lust."

Hermione nodded in acceptance, her head still rested on his chest and her fingers nervously fiddling with the buttons of his outer robe as the story continued.

"A year into our affair," he furthered with a sigh, "Lily fell pregnant."

"And how did you know that Harry wasn't yours and not James'?" Hermione asked boldly, interrupting for the first time since the conversation's beginning.

"I didn't," he admitted. "That notion was perhaps not completely out of the realm of possibility, but it was not very likely."

"How so? Severus you were sleeping with her as much as James was."

"I know that Hermione," he said flatly, his patience wearying a little as her questions intensified along with the accusation in her voice. "And for nine months both I and Lily entertained the idea that he was my child."

"But?"

"But," he repeated, "from the moment the child was born he looked nothing like I and was instead a doppelganger of James and Lily. He was the perfect cross of his parents."

"Still," Hermione persisted, "that does not mean that he is definitely not yours."

"Be honest Hermione," Severus asked sternly, "even you can't deny the relation between James and the boy."

"No," she concurred, "I can't."

"After he was born," Severus maintained, in a tone that was not dissimilar to that when he was lecturing in class, "Lily and I decided that it was best for both us and them if we ceased of affiliation."

"But James caught you on the night Lily was killed!"

Hermione heard him swallow deeply at her mention of her death.

"Indeed," he said after a moment of composure. "Lily and I failed to comply with the agreement that had been set into place after the birth of Potter."

"So if James left her because he knew about your affair, why is it that you are now the best of friends? If there's anything I do know it is that James Potter is not so fickle."

"James and I became very close after you left Hermione; just as close as you and Lily were or you and Miss Weasley now are."

Hermione snorted in disbelief. "If I caught you and Miss Weasley in such a precarious position," she informed incredulously, "I would most definitely not forgive her no matter how close we are now."

"Until something like that actually occurs you cannot say that is so."

Hermione thought about this for a moment, but still couldn't fathom being able to remain friends with somebody who could deceive her in such a way.

"It took years for James to forgive me fully, but after her death," he stumbled a little on this word and Hermione could almost sense the pain that was surging through his body, "James and I reconciled to accept the fact that we were friends and needed one another in such a painful time."

"Well he's a braver person that I," Hermione expressed earnestly. "I am not so easily forgiving."

"And maybe that is his downfall," Severus pondered, "but that is just he way he is and such a decision has led to the current state of affairs."

"Current state of affairs?" she mimicked incredulously.

"Well yes," he returned, "you and I, and also my position as spy."

"You still haven't told me about your position Severus," Hermione informed accusatorily.

"I know that and I will in time."

"Can't you just tell me," she asked, lifting herself up onto her elbow and looking intensely down to him as he rested his head more firmly against the pillow. She did not attempt to keep the scorn out of her voice; her affiliation with him had taught her that some well placed irony could be a useful tool when attempting to draw information out of someone.

"When Harry was born, James made me make an unbreakable vow to prove my loyalty to both him and the Order. As an extended result, my position within the Dark Lord's ranks is not as precarious as you are used to believing, and infact without me the he cannot win this war."

Hermione raised an inquiring eyebrow. Had things really changed that much since her departure?

"Hermione, I have seen Dumbledore's pensive and therefore how life was before you changed it. Before you left I was a double spy working on both sides but with no real loyalties to either. As the Headmaster has already told you, he did not trust me enough to let my work for the Order continue, and to ensure himself of my fidelity he laid a plan to send you back in time."

"I will not go into monotonous details about what you changed and why such alterations differed to Albus' expectations, but I will tell you what they changed."

Hermione nodded for him to continue.

"In the world you knew, both Lily and James gave their lives to protect their son, therefore binding their love to him and providing him with a shield against The Dark Lord. But, as you altered the past and the future changed as a result, James did not lose his life on that night and Harry was not provided with the same shield."

"But Harry lived. The only reason he did was because Lily and James gave their lives." Not for the first time in his explanations, Hermione found herself relatively confused.

"I was still in the house when he came Hermione," Severus said, his voice faltering as he recalled these events. "I saw it all and it was me who provided that final piece of shield for Potter."

"You?" she asked in alarm as she stared into his watery eyes.

"Yes."

"Then without you Harry wouldn't be here."

"No he wouldn't. As long as I am alive, Hermione," he informed as he wiped his eyes subtly, "Harry Potter cannot die."