Chapter 26
She was trembling when they apparated into their bedroom. A combination of nerves and adrenaline and something she refused to believe she was feeling at the moment. Because there was no way she was turned on after what she'd just been through.
She pulled out her wand to distract herself. No matter what he said about the degree of the injury, Draco needed healing.
He stopped her.
"No offense love, I trust you with my life, but please don't point that at me while you're shaking like that," Draco said, gently taking her wrist and pulling the hand holding her wand down and away from his chest.
He leaned down and placed his forehead against hers, pulling her in to rest against his chest. He breathed deeply and she began to match his breaths and then as she felt his emotions begin to settle, hers did as well. Except for one. And he must have sensed it too because all of a sudden he froze.
He cleared his throat. "Hermione, you know earlier how you thought that what you felt coming from me was pain, but it was actually anger. Is there any chance I'm misinterpreting what you're feeling right now?"
She closed her eyes in mortification. "I don't know what's wrong with me."
"I don't see a single thing wrong with you," he responded immediately.
She huffed. "I shouldn't want you right now after what you've been through! We haven't even talked about it yet! I should be asking how you are, not lusting after you like some pathetic schoolgirl. But, there was just something incredibly sexy about the way you looked when I arrived at Grimmauld Place, and I can't stop thinking about it." He began to chuckle, she felt it more than she heard it. "Thanks a lot," she pouted.
He just continued to laugh but he held her more tightly. "I adore you," he said eventually, swooping in for a kiss and then he gently he began to brush his lips all over her face: her cheeks, her temples, the bridge of her nose. "You know," he continued conversationally, "I've just been through a trauma, and I think the best place for me to recover from that is inside of you. What do you say?"
She shuddered violently in response.
"I'll take that as a yes," he said, picking her up and making his way over to the bed.
He laid her out like she was a gift to be unwrapped. She looked into his adoring eyes and reached for him. He slowly peeled her clothes off of her body and then revelled at the expression on his face as her body was revealed to him.
Making love to Draco was always wonderful. And while she didn't actually have anything to compare it to, she'd heard enough to know that he was a far more considerate and generous lover than most. Her pleasure was quite literally his own and she had certainly never left their bed feeling anything other than satisfied- except of course for the fact that she never completely stopped wanting him.
But that night was different. He seemed intent on prolonging their pleasure, their time in the place that only the two of them would ever be able to inhabit, and she followed his lead. Hermione was reminded that sex was one of the most elemental forms of magic, a beautifully perfect joining, not just of body, but when done correctly, of soul because that night she felt it.
And when Effie tentatively knocked on their door the next morning to inform them that Ginny was on the floo waiting for permission to come through, it was with the greatest reluctance that she pulled herself away from him. It felt a terrible loss.
She hurriedly dressed, piled her hair on top of her head and rushed downstairs to meet her friend. Ginny arrived looking disheveled and like she hadn't slept a wink, but Teddy was oblivious; happy and chatting away in her arms. She gave Hermione a wane smile and set the little boy on his feet. He immediately ran over to hug Hermione's legs and then scampered off to find some toys.
Hermione put her arm around Ginny companionably and the two witches followed at a more sedate pace.
"Are you alright?" Hermione asked.
Ginny shrugged. "I guess. I was hoping to stay here for a few days if the offer is still open. I can't be around Harry right now after how he behaved and I just need some time to decide what to do next. I could go to the Burrow, of course, but you know how Mum is, and I just don't think I could listen to her say 'I told you so' about moving in with Harry before the wedding."
"Of course, you're always welcome here. We certainly have plenty of room," she said wryly.
"Draco's okay isn't he? I'm sure he told you but he didn't hesitate to put himself between me and those spells."
They settled into armchairs and Hermione looked away uncomfortably as she felt herself start to color. "Actually he hasn't told me what happened, we haven't exactly gotten the opportunity to talk."
There was a beat of silence and Hermione squirmed in her chair. She was not ashamed of anything she did with Draco, but the night before, especially, felt very private.
"Oh Merlin," she heard Ginny say to herself, she looked at the younger witch out of the corner of her eye; her mouth was hanging open. "Are you telling me you've been in bed this whole time. You left Grimmauld Place like twelve hours ago! I mean I know veela sex is supposed to be incredible. But wow, I can't even imagine!"
She looked to where Teddy was playing on the floor. "Ginny," she hissed, "keep your voice down, little ears are listening."
Ginny laughed. "He has no idea what we're talking about, just look at him."
He was in fact play fighting his hippogriff figurine with a dragon figurine, making battle sounds, totally absorbed in the game. And just then Hermione heard Draco approaching the room; his feet slapping against the stone floor. He was obviously intentionally alerting them to his presence, he could easily move in total silence but his with enhanced hearing he had certainly overheard their conversation and was giving her the opportunity to change the subject.
But before she could think of anything to say he entered the room wearing only a pair of pajama bottoms. As a veela he ran hot, so this was not unusual attire at home, but given Ginny's presence and especially considering what they'd just been discussing it suddenly seemed inappropriate.
"Draco, put on a shirt, Ginny doesn't want to see that!" she squealed.
"Actually, Ginny very much wants to see that. Ginny thinks you should dress like that all the time," the other witch deadpanned.
Hermione sent her friend a faux glare, slightly surprised to find she didn't feel one iota of insecurity. Her connection with Draco was too strong and too pure to be threatened by Ginny's innocent teasing.
Ginny just shrugged in response, obviously unconcerned. "Share the wealth. You get the whole meal, I'm just asking for a few crumbs. And anyway, it's not like I'm going to be getting any anytime soon, so I have to live vicariously through you."
"Ginny!" She hissed, working to keep from laughing and instead sound scandalized, "please stop talks about eating my-" she cut herself off when she realized what she was about to say and clapped her hand over her eyes. "Oh Godric help me, this discussion is over!" She peaked through her fingers to see Draco leering at her and Ginny shaking with silent laughter.
"I feel so objectified," Draco responded with a dramatic pout, bending to give her a kiss and then flopping onto the floor with Teddy. The little boy immediately scrambled onto his lap and offered him the hippogriff toy he'd been playing with. Hermione sighed at the sight.
Ginny laughed again which got her attention. She tore her eyes away from Draco and met Ginny's who was giving her a very knowing look. "Apparently all I needed to cheer me up was a morning in with the Malfoys."
Hermione just shook her head.
"We're happy to oblige," Draco called.
"Well," Ginny began again after a few moments of silence. "Since you two haven't have the opportunity to talk, should I just tell you what happened yesterday from the beginning?"
Hermione sighed, she had been dreading is conversation. "Go ahead."
Even knowing Harry and Ron's tempers as intimately as she did, she was still surprised by the extent of their reckless behavior. But she was shocked that Ginny had been considering calling off her wedding. Ginny's hopes and dreams had changed somewhat over the years, but something that had never faltered was her desire to one day be Mrs. Harry Potter. That had been a cause of concern for Hermione when they were younger because it had once been more like an obsession for Ginny than any real interest in the person Harry was. But then-amidst a war- she'd watched her friends slowly fall deeply in love and now she had a hard time picturing them apart.
She could only compare it to her own situation and the idea of willfully walking away from Draco felt akin to ripping out her own heart. Simply put: inconceivable. But she could also sympathize with Ginny. There were apparently cracks in the foundation of that relationship that she hadn't seen. They weren't her and Draco. But that didn't keep it from breaking her heart.
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It was five days before Harry called her, not on the floo but on her phone. She knew he must have been feeling pretty desperate because he avoided using his mobile at all costs- the Dursleys had all but ruined muggle technology for him. She answered out of a combination of sheer curiosity and because- if she was being really honest- ten years of always being there whenever this particular wizard needed her was a hard habit to break.
They agreed to meet but she was adamant they do it on her terms. And so, two days later Harry stepped out of the floo and into her new home for the first time. He looked around curiously. "I'm surprised Malfoy even allowed you to meet with me by yourself," he said snidely.
"If that's how this is going to go, just show yourself out," she answered coldly.
He slumped in on himself at the reprimand which made him look rather pathetic. And, frankly, he'd already looked terrible when he'd arrived. Dark bags under his eyes, hair even messier than usual, glasses askew. Hermione found herself feeling torn: protecting him, shielding him from harm was an inclination that felt almost imbedded into her very soul. But he'd hurt people she loved, hurt Draco. So, she didn't rush to comfort his as she usually would have. And, on top of that, the other part of her was- not happy- but relieved to see that he finally seemed to be realizing that there were consequences to his actions as well, even if that meant he had to suffer a bit
"If you think you can be civil then lets sit, I've arranged for us to have tea," she said turning away from him without giving him her usual hug in greeting, and sat herself primly at the table set out in front of a window. He followed her without comment.
Effie popped in then, clearly having been waiting for the opening, and presented them with a rather spectacular spread. Hermione looked away, hiding her smirk. Effie was such a Malfoy elf. She couldn't resist showing off, and she was most certainly not going to miss out on an opportunity to do so in front of a wizard she knew had done her master harm. Hermione thought it might be the closest to a vindictive streak that the compassionate creature possessed and wondered if she'd ever heard the expression, 'kill them with kindness.'
"It's so weird that you have an elf," Harry commented, but he at least had the tact to wait and make the comment until after Effie had left.
Hermione sent him a sharp look. "Effie has been with Draco since he was a baby. They adore each other and I would no more dream of dismissing her than I would disown a member of my family, because that's what she is. You know that I've changed my opinions about elves, now stop acting like a snide arsehole or you can just leave."
He took a deep breath and stirred his tea. He used far too much sugar. He had that in common with Draco.
"I talked to Fleur," he confessed.
Hermione fought the urge to roll her eyes. "And?" she questioned.
Harry seemed to think that this was some grand confession and was visibly taken aback by her casual response. "She explained about a veela and his mate."
"You could have talked to her weeks ago, Harry."
"I was processing."
She snorted. "You processed by storming Malfoy Manor and attempting to assault the man I had just told you was the love of my life. And then you didn't speak to me for weeks."
He ignored her. "Fleur said that Malfoy must be utterly devoted to you." He looked at her, doubt painted all over his face.
"He is. I tried to tell you that, I would have told you that. Why didn't you ask me?"
"I just- really Hermione, Malfoy?"
"Yes, Draco. I chose Draco. And if you listened to Fleur at all then you know that he's my perfect match. He's a gift. He's- God, Harry, I'm so happy and I just wish I could share it with my best friend. I wish you had let me tell you all of this. I wish you had even tried to see my side! He's not the petulant little boy he was, he's grown up. Maybe it's time for you to do the same."
He set his jaw. "Ginny likes him. She actually staying here. She's left me and she's staying here!"
Hermione's heart sank as she realized the true reason for this visit. "That's what this is really about, isn't it? You've got your wand in a knot because Draco got to play the hero, jumping in front of your spell to protect her. And then she ran here. I bet it really sticks in your craw that she'd rather live with Draco right now than with you. Well I'm not going to convince her to go back to you. This is between the two of you."
"Are you telling me that Malfoy's not whispering in her ear to break up with me?"
"That's exactly what I'm telling you. We talked about it and agreed that we would hate for anybody to attempt to interfere in our relationship like that. We're just giving her a place to stay and a listening ear if she wants it, but we won't tell her what we think she should do. I don't even have an opinion on that at this point. And honestly, Harry, Draco's not that petty and he has better things to do than try to sabotage your life."
"But how can she feel comfortable here, with him, after what his father did to her?" He asked bitterly.
Hermione sighed, this discussion was going nowhere. "Because Draco is not Lucius and Ginny knows that because she bothered to get to know him. She made an effort just like the rest of my friends have. Merlin, Harry, when is our society going to learn not to judge people for things they have absolutely no control over? Shouldn't you know better than just about anybody how dangerous that is? What if your grandparents and your father had judged Sirius for his dark family, or Remus for being a werewolf?"
"He tried to use the cruciatus curse on me. He let Death Eaters into the castle. Merlin, he was a Death Eater himself! You know this!"
Hey we're just going in circles, and the last of her hope died, they were not going to resolve this today. "It was war, we all made mistakes and bad choices. Were his worse than most? Maybe. I've chosen to forgive him. I suppose it's your prerogative not to."
He managed to look reasonably guilty at that pronouncement. "I just wish things could go back to the way they were."
"The way they were when Harry?"
"When it was just me, you, and Ron."
"When it was just the three of us on the run? When we were alone and terrified and absolutely desperate. When Ron left us in that state? Those were not good times Harry," she corrected. When had he put on these rose colored glasses?
"There were other times," he defended, but his eyes had started to look haunted and it took everything she had to stop from comforting him.
"That's true," she said gently, but she did not reach out to touch him as she usually would have, "There were other times, important times, I'm not trying to discount that. Nor am I trying to discount either of your roles in the war. I love you both immensely, but you are not my end all and be all. That belongs to somebody else."
"So this is it then?" he asked.
"I hope not. Like I said, I love you very much. That will never stop. But if you can't at least respect my relationship with Draco then I'm going to have to put our friendship on pause, because I refuse to face this inquisition and feel like I have to defend my life choices every time I see you."
"I don't want that."
"Then learn to be respectful of Draco. I won't have it any other way. Take all the time you need, but I think that it's time for you to go," she said dismissively, flicking her eyes toward the floo. She couldn't dwell on this any longer.
He stood up and took a couple of steps in the direction of the floo and then visibly slumped again. "What about Ron?"
"What about him?"
"Are you just never going to speak to him again?"
"If Ronald wants my forgiveness for the terrible things he said to me, then he's going to have to ask for it. But that's between me and him. I'm serious, Harry, stay out of it."
"I just want things to be okay again," he said, running his hand through his perpetually messy hair.
"Oh Harry," she said shaking her head sadly, "I'm not sure you even know what that means."