On Derse, the Black Queen is bored.
So very, very bored.
She hasn't felt alive in ages. Last time, it was when she blew up the moon and killed that Sylph of Doom chick. The Knight's been spotted around Derse, but never enough times for her to mount an attack. She can't send the Red Miles when the boy's non-confirmed. His dream self's been sleepwalking, shielded from her gaze by her own people.
She can find him in real life if she wants. Stupid kid thinks he's invincible and he's probably itching to prove it.
The Queen of Derse has killed three of her servants. And it's only Wednesday. Signing off parking tickets and passing laws don't seem to taste the same after murder.
So maybe she'll just...step out. For a bit. Maybe. Not too far! The closest planet is Land of Song and Pestilence. Man, that shouldn't be too hard.
A ship is chartered. The Dersite Queen is thrilled.
In a different universe, a girl and a boy have a very difficult relationship.
Tumblr kicked her feet, trying to fight against the grip on her throat.
"Go aheed. Scream for help."
Bringing a foot back, Tumblr managed to nail HSG right in the balls.
"You first, chauvinist!" she spits, adjusting her plastic glasses. The rockets on the bottoms of her Thigh-High Flying Stocking (Patent Pending) sputter to life, keeping her hovering. She zips away, high above the soft ground of her land, the Land of Stumps and Dismay.
The red wings of his jetpack flare to life, adjusting to his rage level. As a Prince of Rage, HSG had a lot of fury to go around. Respectively, he is capable of destroying everything around him with the force of his own wrath. What better mode of transport than his own mental instability?
A red haze seems to surround him as he glares up at Tumblr. His mouth is frothing, eyes bugging out of his skull.
He doesn't say anything. He doesn't need to.
The next time he gets a hold on her, HSG does not bother messing around. He throws her all the way down to the surface of her planet. Tumbling head over heels, Tumblr screams. Her Thigh High Flying Stockings (Patent Pending) can't do anything against the inertia, and they flicker uselessly.
Landing hard on the ground, Tumblr rolls into a ball. Her right thigh bends at a weird angle, and she takes deep breaths.
"Had enouh? Figures. Go back to tae kitchen, Tumblr."
His voice is grating, he is smug, and he comes closer.
She pushes her hair out of her face.
"Pig."
He snarls, but doesn't advance.
And then things get really weird.
Nobody's really sure who kissed who in that moment, but Tumblr was vaguely aware of his hands all over her and the taste of her blood on his tongue.
MS Paint Adventure Forums sits in front of his computer, twitching anxiously. He doesn't know what to do. Well, he knows what's coming. The blackout that's been plaguing his dreams and thoughts keeps inching closer. It's not that the time-traveling past it is a problem; it's the fact that when it hits, he might not be able to come back and warn himself.
Or he could die for good. That doesn't bother him so much. Death is just a thing that happens sometimes. Or maybe that's because a time player.
Youtube's wandering on the surface of LOSAP. The Black Queen of her session is on her planet, and she'll find her. Youtube will die unless he does something.
If he does nothing, she'll die, and nothing will be affected, as far as he knows.
If he does something, she'll live, and something could change.
He could lose everything at once over one girl. His hands are shaking, and he gets up to pace. He starts whining and pulling on his hair. MSPAF's chest feels tight, but his lungs feel overfilled.
Fumbling into a pocket, he pulls out a coin. It's a two-headed one that he made himself, for reasons that only he finds funny. He's also scratched the eyes out on one of the faces.
He could flip it. Like Terezi, but does he really want that on his conscience?
It's chance. It's safe.
It could kill her. He knows how he feels, but he wants to live.
Talking to himself and walking in circles, he misses the distress call from Tumblr.
DeviantArt scans the message, mint-and-pink eyes widening. She reads it again.
"Tumblr-chan!" she shrieks. Her friend needs her! With a click of rainbow-glitter sneakered heels, DeviantArt takes to the skies.
Sitting in a cave far away from where Tumblr is now, HSG's shaking, suffering from the aftereffects of such an emotional high. He's crying, but that's not from sadness or remorse. It's from emotional withdrawal. He wants to eat a thousand pounds of pancakes and crawl into this cave and sleep for a million years. God, everyone's gonna be so pissed off at him now. But it's worth it.
"I jus' ha' sex," he says, trying it out. "For realsies. With Tumblr."
Just hearing it is enough to gross him out. God, it was such a blur. Her leg might've been broken, so that explains the awkward positioning.
But was it supposed to blow that badly?
No, no, wait. It's not the sex that sucked. Maybe it was remorse over killing her? Why, though? It's not like anyone would miss somebody like her. Somebody with no boobs. What a crime. Girls are supposed to have boobs. Curse Tumblr and her no-pants-wearing-hippie attitude. And her non-existent boobs.
He didn't kill her on purpose. Dildo-shaped bombs are pretty much awesome. But when trying to differentiate between a bomb dildo and an actual dildo was harder than expected. Stupid spontaneity and too much porn.
He sighs, lying down on his back. Now he has the hiccups. Great. Just great.
[Homestuck General (HSG) messaged (FFN)!]
HSG: hey tard.
FFN: Hi! Haven't heard from you in a while! :D:
HSG: I've been busy.
HSG: Promise you won't be mad, okay?
FFN: What happened? I swear I won't be mad!
HSG: Tumblr and I got in a bit of a fight.
HSG: And I am sorry but stuff happened.
HSG: one thing led to another and I killed her by accident.
FFN: Oh my God. Are you sure she's dead?
HSG: I don't know. I don't know!
HSG: I didn't exactly stick around.
HSG: But there was a lot of blood.
HSG: I'm the Prince of Rage. Destroyer through Rage.
HSG: I know I've been neglecting you too, baby.
HSG: Knight of Life. My servant.
FFN: You wish ;):
HSG: Implying I would?
HSG: You're honest to God the most stable person I've ever met.
HSG: I'm kind of weird right now.
FFN: You feeling okay, bro? You're seriously worrying me.
HSG: No. Do Not Call Me Bro.
HSG: We're not bros. Bros don't fuck.
Bros also don't let other bros die. But that's another thing he doesn't want to talk about.
FFN: I enjoy the implication there.
Now HSG's made the leap to an emotional mess, swinging back and forth between flirting and sobbing. He ends up saying things he never would in a soberer state. He doles advice on FFN's god tier status and his own emotionally-deprived childhood. He doesn't want to tell him about the whole sex thing. That whole ugly mess can be approached later with alcohol.
HSG: I never got along with my dad. he never came to parent meetings and was always gone away on business so i never saw him. dont even remember what his name was.
HSG: But i was okay when he died.
HSG: you're supposed to protect other people with life. So if you Get the Tiger then you can heal yourself and others dude like fucking wolverine
FFN: What tiger?
HSG: oh right. God Tier. Got Tiger. It's basically the game's compensation for not letting you get laid. Comes free after death upon stone slab, complete with powers.
FFN: COOL!
HSG: hey man do you hate me?
FFN: Not at all. I kind of quite like you.
HSG: hah yeah man i'm awesome.
MS Paint Adventure Forums looks up to see DeviantArt touch down in front of him.
"Did you fly all the way here from Land of Dodge and Burn?" he asks, slightly bemused.
DeviantArt, on the other hand, looks panic-stricken.
"MSPA-chan, we have a problem," she wheezes, putting her hands on her knees.
Youtube will have to wait. MSPAF sits back while DA shows him the message and rails off what she thinks happens.
He doesn't get angry. The feeling in his stomach is cold, the sort of feeling that comes with stripping wires or kicking apart imps.
"Christ. Jesus. He's ruined everything!" he snaps, standing up and equipping his Pulchritudinous armor. DA raises her hands, rainbow arm socks blurring with the quick motion. "Now hold on, MSPAF-kun! You need to think about this rationally desu!" she squeaks. He flips the visor down, and says cooly, "I've read Peacekeeping for Assholes enough times. I'm just going to talk."
Feeling crummy, HSG manages to take his first steps out of the cage. The weak light on LOSAD makes his eyes sting.
Everyone is totally going to kill him for this shit.
Lifting his arm up to block the sun, he manages to make out a shape descending from the clouds. Shafts of light glitter off silver wings. Thick forearms are braced up by the face.
Oh, Christ.
"Well well, if it ain't the fought police. Howya doon, bro?" he asks, thick Scottish accent marring his words. He even waves, despite the fact that he knows that MS Paint Adventures Forum will rip out his spine and beat him with it. His best friend and one-time boyfriend descends evenly, angelically, touching the ground lightly. Neither one says anything.
And then MSPAF grabs onto HSG's shoulders and sacks him.
"AhhhHAH! Didnae deserve that! I did not!"
"You monster! You! You! God! God! Damn! It!" shouts MSPAF, running his fingers through his shaggy brown hair. HSG takes a knee, hand on his crotch.
DeviantArt touches down close behind them. "That's not just talking, MSPAF-chan!" she shrills, pulling at his shoulder. He just shakes her off and keeps his eyes on HSG.
"What were you thinking? I'm curious. Genuinely. Because you knew, it's not like you didn't, I told you she was really important!" he shouts.
HSG groans. "Don't do this noe, brah. Ken't you see I'm hurtin' for certain?" he asks, then grimaces. "I think you broke somethin there."
He can tell MS Paint Adventures Forum wants to hit him. Hell, if the situation was the other way around...well, he wouldn't care. Not the point.
"It wasn't my fault," he says quietly, getting to his feet.
DeviantArt's put her hands on both their shoulders, babbling about communication and trying to not kill each other.
HSG wants to give the classic out-of-control Prince Rage-player excuse, but it tastes like antibacterial soap in his mouth so he keeps quiet. "Sorry, dude," he says, eyes on the ground.
MSPAF gets out his little snazzy portable fedoramunicator and gets into a conversation, blithely ignoring him. Curiosity's pulling at the edge of HSG's thoughts, so he asks, "Who ya talkin' to?"
MS Paint Adventures Forum doesn't miss a beat, eyes focussed on the small holographic screen.
"My girl...patron player. Since the whole plan's shot to shit might as well gain her a few echeladder steps."
On LOSAP, Youtube gets a message from her patron player.
MSPF: I need you to find a ravine.
YTB: lik da 11 i jut pst?
MSPF: Sort of. And then go really really deep down.
YTB: killin me with agjectives here shawty
MSPF: Just go right now. Please.
Youtube rolls her eyes. Boys are dumb. But she turns around, jogging back to the ravine and wandering down the abyss, sliding over the stones and moving until the sickly sunlight is a thin strip in the middle of the ravine.
Half buried in the darkness, there's a stone slab, almost the same size as her cabin is. The slab is a dark green, with a light green insignia in the middle. She runs her gloved fingers over the insignia, feeling the rough outline of a circle with stray waves branching off it.
YTB: hly shit u relay kno wht u on bout
MSPF: fall asleep on the rock thing. Trust me.
YTB: what the fuck is this
MSPF: i can't explain it. But you just need to know that what I'm doing is for a reason.
YTB: bitch dont make me regret dis
Youtube relaxes out on the stone slab, but quickly starts to fidget.
He notices her typing out a message to him, but at that moment, the Black Queen's airship swoops overhead, throwing the ravine into shadow.
YTB: wtf!
YTB: tf is dis shawty
MSPAF: I know it looks bad, but please stay there! I need you to fall asleep!
YTB: tl me whts gon on pls im scared
MSPAF: Please just go to sleep. Please. Please.
Youtube listens to him, although uneasily. She curls on her side, arms braced over her head.
Watching the entire scene unfold, MSPAF watches the Black Queen stalk through the green smog, adverse to the ill effects. She eventually finds the ravine.
He doesn't want to keep watching. But he does. He knows how all of this will end, but he still doesn't want to see this.
The Queen finds Youtube, who is curled on her side, shaking. "Too easy!" the Queen snarks, unsheathing her claws. Her clawed fist punctures Youtube's heart, twisting it from strong fibers into mush.
Youtube spasms, eyes still closed. She dies with her arms outstretched, curled like a comma in a puddle of her own blood.
MSPAF feels something stir in his chest. Remorse? Guilt? It's been so long since he's seen somebody other than himself die like this that he's out of touch with his own emotions. But it stings, it's not cold at all. His throat works, and he sputters. Mostly, he wants it to not be true. His fedoramunicator monitor blacks out, with a GAME OVER scrolling through the middle.
In the semi-darkness of LOSAD, MSPAF pushes his hand over his face. He can hear DeviantArt speaking softly to HSG, and he can feel HSG's hand on his shoulder.
In a universe not close by but not far away either, The Author looks up quizzically.
What is that? A steady, monotonous beat. A ticking clock? Maybe?
Trying to ignore Youtube's dead body plastered on the fourth wall, she presses her ear to it. The sound's definitely coming through there. Stepping backwards, she presses her palms flat to the fourth wall, and pushes. She knows she cannot keep doing this.