I was really hoping to get this out sooner, but between birthday parties and sick kids, and my computer completely crapping out on me... it's taken a lot longer than I hoped. So excuses aside, thank you for all the follows, favorites, and reviews and enjoy the chapter.

"I hate this." Rachel sighed as she dropped down on the firm mattress and attempted to get comfortable, which she was failing at. It had been a long day, in an even longer week, that was the culmination of a dreadfully long month. Her only saving grace had been having Quinn beside her through it all.

"You're going to be great tomorrow," Quinn assured her.

"Not quite what I was referring to though I do appreciate the vote of confidence. Though, quite frankly, I'm not usually this uneasy about walking into an audition."

"Are you really that nervous about tomorrow?"

Rachel huffed as she shifted the pillow under her head. "No." Even without seeing her, she could feel Quinn rolling her eyes. "Maybe. Yes." Rachel took a deep breath and held it. "Honestly, I don't really know. I have my monolog. I've had the lines memorized since I was twelve. You helped me pick out a song, which, I'm not even sure I said thank you for, so thank you."

"You know I'd help you in any way that I could." Quinn waved her appreciation off as she shifted the blankets around her shoulders and hugged the pillow next to her. More than anything she wanted to be holding Rachel, but she knew at this moment, that wasn't going to be happening.

"I do. I just… I don't even feel like I've had two seconds to breath since this all began. I wish I had more time to prepare. I usually have a list of rules that I abide by when preparing for a big performance or an audition like this one. It's tried and true and has never failed me: I make sure not to drink any milk so I don't become too phlegmy. I avoid touching all door handles and refuse to use any public facilities -they carry too many germs and risk of infection. I don't kiss for the same reasons. And aside from the milk, that I don't normally drink due to being a vegetarian, I have done every single one of those things in the last few days. Not to mention the fact that I usually try to limit using my voice in the week or two leading up to a big audition like this one and I feel like I've done nothing but answer questions and talk."

"Who would have thought that Rachel Berry would be one to complain about talking." Quinn laughed quietly. "Does this means I should stop talking to you then?"

Rachel chuckled and shook her head. "No. God, Quinn, I'm just… this is all so unusual for me and I feel like I am so far out of my comfort zone that I can no longer even see the line that I crossed." Rachel closed her eyes. "I guess I am more nervous than I first assumed I would be."

"Best friend pep talk time?" Quinn asked with a smile. It was a tradition they had gotten into when it came time for one of them to go for an audition, or out on a date, which was practically the same thing. Thankfully, as far as Quinn was concerned, the whole dating portion was done with.

"Please."

"You just have to breath, Rachel. They would be stupid not to hire you. I know I may be a bit biased now, but that wasn't always the case. And even when we were enemies, I knew you were going to be a huge star. You are one of the most amazing, talented, breathtakingly stunning women I have ever been privileged to know." Quinn's passionate words made Rachel smile as she turned her head to the other side of the bed as she listened to Quinn speak. "You've been ready for this audition since the moment it was offered to you. You've trained for this since you were three months old. You realize you have absolutely nothing to be nervous about, right?"

Rachel tried to let the words filter in, but the question made her think. Quinn was correct in that she had trained for this her entire life. It was as if everything was leading up to this moment, this role. She knew she was good in high school. Hell, she was even better when she was at NYADA and in Funny Girl. But it was her return to Broadway that made her the complete powerhouse she was today. Her voice was stronger and clearer than it had ever been. She had the experience she needed from the stage. She'd quickly learned how to conquer film, even if it was the small screen, she felt it help prepare her for what would happen on the set of a big film production. Rachel knew she was at the perfect time and place in her life for this role to come along. And she knew that if they were looking at her talent alone, the role would be hers, no questions asked. But she knew from what Tina had told her, that wasn't the only thing they'd be evaluating her on. One mistake, one beautiful, fucked up mistake, had made it into so much more than that. It wasn't even her sexuality that was causing the studio and producers to hesitate. Simply, no one really cared about things like that anymore; a person could be out, loud, and proud and be hugely successful -maybe even more so because of it. When someone was outed, it stirred up news for all of a few days, maybe a few weeks if you were lucky, or unlucky depending on how you looked at it, and then it just became a side note on your Wiki page.

It was the way they'd come out that was causing such issues. Not just with the studios, but with her fans as well. Quinn's fans, for the most part, hadn't even batted an eye. Her time on Steel had prepared them for the inevitability that she would one day finally emerge from the closet. In fact, from what Rachel had seen, it seemed like her fans were thrilled by what occurred and the fact that it had happened in such a public manner. But when Rachel had first appeared on Steel she had assured her fans that there was nothing between her and Quinn other than friendship. Which, at the time, had been true, even if she had a strong indication that both of their feelings were beginning to blossom into something more. At the time, she hadn't wanted to jinx anything so she'd kept mum on the situation, sidestepping any direct answer, and now those small untruths were causing her problems. Her morality was being brought into question on a regular basis. She was accused of sleeping with multiple former co-stars, both male and female. And some of her more ardent fans had been very vocal in their dislike of Quinn and her relationship with the former cheerleader. Noise that had only gotten louder after their interview had aired, rehashing much of their early relationship for the world to see.

Rachel had quietly asked Tina if they needed to worry about investing in more security just earlier that day after Tina had shown her some hate mail she'd received threatening not only herself, but also her partner. Rachel had forced Tina to not say anything to Quinn, no matter how much the Asian woman fought her on it. Tina had thrown up her hands and told her if and when this all blew up in their faces that she was the one that was going to have to explain to Quinn why she was being kept in the dark, before she assured her that everything was being handled. Tina glared at her as she told Rachel that if extra security measures they would have no choice other than to inform Quinn of what was occurring. She knew her friend and manager didn't agree with her keeping Quinn in the dark, but she didn't want her lover to have to deal with this as well as everything else that Rachel's actions had caused. Rachel knew that they'd both been involved in what happened a few days after Christmas, but she couldn't stop feeling like it was solely her fault, like she was the one that had pushed things too far. After a thorough viewing of the plethora of videos that had been taken that night, it was the only conclusion she could logically reach. It was her fault. She'd obviously been far more intoxicated than Quinn had, as apparent by her memory loss; and she couldn't find fault in Quinn's actions on the dance floor after she had pushed her to that point with the body shots she'd forced the blonde to endure. Which is why she knew that if anything happened to Quinn, in any way, she would carry the weight of it on her shoulders. The last thing she wanted was something to happen to Quinn because of her.

"Rae?" Quinn questioned after a long pause when her girlfriend hadn't answered the question. She couldn't help but worry. Rachel hadn't been overly forthcoming about the audition but she knew that Rachel just didn't want to jinx it. That in itself was enough to tell Quinn how much the woman wanted this role, this opportunity. "Are you okay?"

Rachel shifted as Quinn's voice filled her ear. "I'm…" Rachel sighed as she toyed with the top of the blanket. "I hate this."

"You've said that already."

"Yes, but you erroneously assumed I was speaking about the audition. Do we need another lesson in assumption?"

Quinn chuckled. "No, but you could tell me what you're talking about."

"This. Laying in some stupid bed without you beside me."

"I would be there if I could, Rae. You know that."

"I know. I know we were both hoping that you wouldn't be needed in the first round of shooting but… what can we do? I have just gotten so used to you being next to me. This bed seems so big and cold and empty without you next to me."

Quinn sighed and buried her face into Rachel's empty pillow, loving how it still smelled like shampoo and perfume and a scent that was distinctly Rachel. Quinn had never been one to see herself as emotionally dependent on someone she was in a relationship with. She wasn't possessive or overly jealous. And she definitely didn't feel separation anxiety when she couldn't be next to the person she cared for. She was independent. And self-assured. And... And yet, here was was feeling every single one of those things. She felt like a walking cliche for someone in love and it sort of made her nauseous. Or at least it would if she actually let herself think about it too long. But she couldn't help it. Rachel, the same Rachel that had drove her nuts during high school, who had been the pain in her side for so many years, simply made her happy. Happier than she could remember being in a long time. And knowing that she made Rachel happy too, knowing that the small diva missed her just as much, it kind of made her melt a little.

"I know. It's even worse here because I can smell you. I can vividly remember lying in our bed with you. I can picture falling asleep with you next to me and waking up to watch you sleep." Quinn chortled to herself, "I don't know what you've done to me, Rae, but you've turned me into a huge mushball."

Quinn swallowed hard as Rachel's voice lowered seductively. "Oh, darling, we both know how much you like what I do to you."

Quinn laughed away the shiver of desire that shot through her. "Rachel, don't you dare. I have to be up in six hours and I need to sleep."

"Are you trying to tell me that phone sex is out of the question?"

Quinn groaned and buried her head under her pillow. "Yes, Rae." She moaned into her pillows.

"I much prefer you moaning those words."

Quinn threw her pillow towards the other side of the room as she shrieked, "Rachel!"

Rachel's clear laughter rang out over the phone. "I'm sorry, I had to."

"You're going to be the death of me, woman. And I don't mean in a good way."

Rachel just nodded, absolutely okay with that. She loved pressing Quinn's buttons and knowing just how to make her respond in the ways she wanted. She was sure it was her understated way of returning just a small bit of the torture Quinn had put her through in high school.

"Oh, mon cher, you know you love it when I give la petit morte."

"No, no, no, no, no. No, you don't get to do that. That. That is not fair." Quinn mumbled into the pillow, hating how much Rachel speaking to her in another language turned her to complete and utter mush. "Babe, please."

Rachel smiled softly at the muffled words and let her voice drop even lower. "Are you asking me to stop? Or are you begging me to keep going?"

Quinn shot off the bed and walked into the other room. There was no way she was going to be able to stay in a bed that smelled like Rachel, with the she-devil herself whispering naughty words in her ear, and not do something about it. And right now, she didn't want her own hand bringing her relief. She wanted her girlfriend.

"You realize I legitimately hate you right now, don't you?"

"You do not." Rachel whispered on the other side of the phone.

"Fine. I don't. But I swear to God, you are evil."

"Is someone frustrated?"

"Frustrated. Horny. Extremely turned on and wet." Quinn smiled at the breathy gasp that followed that admission. "You know, turn about is only fair play." Quinn's smoky voice caressed the words.

"The only difference is, I wouldn't mind taking things into my own hands while imagining it was you. Especially if you were on the phone while I did so."

Quinn gulped at the images that assaulted her. "H-have you? I mean…. done that?"

Rachel knew that was exactly what Quinn was hinting at, but she knew explicitly stating the words would just fluster her lover even more than she already was. "Masturbated while imagining you?" Rachel started when she heard a loud clatter on the other end of the phone. "Quinn? Are you okay?"

Rachel sat up as she listened to another clatter and a muttered curse. "Seriously Quinn, are you alright?"

"Fine. Dandy. Wonderful." Quinn said, trying to catch her breath as she looked down at the mess she had made. Quinn shook her head at herself. She'd gone all through high school without ever feeling like this. If this is what Rachel meant back then about women wanting sex as much as boys, she was right. It had been so easy back then to stick to the under the shirt, over the bra mantra. But she had a feeling if she had been aware of her sexuality and her feelings for Rachel back then, those rules would have been out of the window long before she had gotten pregnant with Beth.

Rachel stifled a laugh. "Are you going to tell me what that was?"

"No."

"Quinn."

Quinn looked up at the ceiling and counted down from ten. Then she did it again. And sighed. "I broke our juice container."

Rachel bit her lip in amusement as she waited for Quinn to explain. She knew if she dared open her mouth she'd lose it. The line stayed silent as each waited for the other to say something. Rachel finally broke, chuckling as she asked what happened.

"No. No, you don't get to laugh about this. This is completely your fault."

"How, pray tell, is it my fault?" Rachel chuckled. "I do believe I am still currently stuck in a hotel room fifteen hundred miles away."

"It's your fault because you, my dear, sweet, wonderful girlfriend, are the devil incarnate." Rachel threw back her head and laughed and Quinn couldn't stop the smile that the sound produced. "It's a damn good thing I love you."

"I couldn't be happier that you do." Quinn could hear the smile in Rachel's voice and was just happy to know that whatever Rachel had been so worked up over had at least momentarily been forgotten. She hated knowing that Rachel was so worked up and that there was very little she could do about it. She knew what this role meant to Rachel. Not only was it the role of a lifetime, that would be perfect for her, it was the first possibility of a starring role on the big screen in a role that was made for her. It was the chance at working with her lifelong idol. With a serious possibility of being in contention for numerous awards if done right. She had never wanted something for someone else so bad in her entire life, with maybe the exception of wanting her daughter to be healthy and happy.

"You make me happy. I know I spent enough years trying to make you miserable, but now, I want to make you just as happy."

"Oh, Quinn, don't you know that you do?"

Quinn grabbed the broom and dust pan and shrugged. She hated feeling insecure. It was a feeling she thought she grew out of when she graduated from Yale. Yet, here she was, talking to the woman who had inadvertently made her feel insecure in high school, reliving the emotion in a totally new way. "I try."

"Quinn," Rachel sighed. "I… There are times when I wonder if this is all just some elaborate fantasy. I know I freaked out over the holidays and said somethings, well, not so crazy for me, but somewhat over the top. It was silly and stupid to compare us to a romantic comedy but that's because for me, this is still so unbelievably perfect." Rachel paused at the snort of disbelief that came from the other side of the line. "Listen, I know, okay, I know that this hasn't been a walk in the park and that things could always be better. But I got to wake up this morning laying next to you. Do you have any idea how unbelievable that still is for me?"

"After the way I treated you for so long, I would have thought-"

"I would have thought we were passed that." Rachel huffed.

Quinn kicked herself. This was the exact reason that she didn't bring it up anymore. She still felt guilty about how she treated Rachel in high school, even if they were so far beyond that now. Quinn finished wiping up her mess and decided to head to their deck. It was late and she doubted any photographers would still be hanging around the dark house and right now, she really didn't care even if there was. She needed the sound of the ocean to help clear her mind.

"Rae-" Quinn began before her girlfriend cut her off.

"No, don't you Rae me. Every few months this comes up again and I'm tired of dealing with it. So get it out, get it out of the way, and make it good, because this is the last time I will hear anything on this subject unless it is something being addressed in my memoirs. Am I understood?"

"Are you seriously giving me an ultimatum right now?"

"If that's the way you want to view it." Rachel growled before she took a deep breath and slowly released it. Rachel could hear the distant sound of waves and it grounded her for what she wanted to say. She was surprised how quickly the lull of the crashing waves had become as synonymous with home as Quinn had. "Quinn, I'm just… I need you to listen to me and talk to me as my best friend. Not my lover, or girlfriend, or partner, or whatever label you feel like putting on us. Can you do that? Just for a moment, really listen to me and hear what I'm saying?"

"I have always listened to you." Quinn ground out.

"I think I am starting to realize that. But I need you to hear me not as someone involved in this, but someone standing on the side lines. As if I was still just your friend, calling you to gush over my latest relationship. Can you do that?"

Quinn sighed. "I don't know. I can try, Rachel. That's about as much as I can promise right now."

"Then that's what I'll take. All I ever ask is that you try." Rachel got up and walked across the room to stare out the window as she began to talk, not even sure of exactly what she was trying to say, or even why she asked Quinn to listen as a friend. She just wanted her to see things from someone else's point of view. She was honestly tired of having to come back to their past. It was bad enough to have to do it for the interview, something that she was sure would be revisited any time someone brought up their relationship over the next few years. But having to go through it with Quinn on a regular basis was just too much. Quinn couldn't ask her to keep reliving those years over and over again. It wasn't like she'd forgotten, she just knew that there was so much more to Quinn than the hateful things she had done during her misspent youth. "I met this amazing woman, Quinn. She is one of the most amazing people I have ever had the privilege to know. And she also happens to be someone that I have a long extensive, convoluted history with. Once upon a time, she was the root of a lot of my pain, but before you tell me that I'm a masochist or something along those lines, remember that it was from that pain that such a beautiful friendship bloomed. This woman now knows me better than anyone ever has and became one of my very best friends. And from that friendship came this most amazing, unexpected, wonderful relationship. She makes me laugh, god does she ever make me laugh and smile, like all the time. She does sweet things for me, like leaving me little post-it notes just to say hi. We took this crazy trip, and I introduced her to my entire family. And guess what? They loved her. Remember how much I told you they didn't like Finn? And how after that I refused to bring anyone home?"

Quinn smiled softly as she thought back to a conversation they'd had a few years before that she had all but forgotten about. "Thank god, I didn't remember that before. But yes, I recall you mentioning that."

"I didn't even think about bringing her home, Quinn. Because she just… she fits so well in my life. It's…" Rachel tried to find the words as she ran her fingers over the cool plane of glass, absentmindedly staring at the lights beyond her fingertips. Rachel's voice grew soft as she continued to speak, "I feel like I've finally met the love of my life."

Quinn let her head fall back on chaise that lined the edge of their deck and looked up at the stars. She picked out different constellations as her mind replayed the words Rachel had just spoken. "She sounds amazing."

"Amazing doesn't even begin to cover it."

"I guess I never really thought of it the way you put it -that the pain and suffering we went through together is what really brought us closer when we became friends. I was just… God, I was so horrible to you. I was horrible to everyone. I was so twisted and messed up and angry at the world. And you, you were this perfect, self-assured, beautiful young woman who didn't stop no matter what the world, or an idiot head cheerleader, threw at you. Literally and figuratively. And as much as I know you've let it go and that you've forgiven me plenty of times, I haven't been able to forgive myself. I'll always carry the guilt of my actions."

"Let me ask you, as my best friend, how would you feel if some random person, someone from my past who hurt me, kept coming back into my life and repeatedly brought up painful memories to assuage their own guilt?"

"I… I'd want to kick their ass." Quinn admitted with a sigh.

"Exactly. Yet, that's exactly what you're doing, Quinn. Every single time you bring it up, it's not for my benefit, but your own. I forgave you years ago. But that doesn't mean that thinking about that time doesn't bring a twinge of pain."

"I don't mean to hurt you."

Rachel bit back a sigh as she moved back to the bed and slid beneath to cold sheets. "No, sweetie, you don't. But that's what inadvertently happens. Yet, I'm not the one that it hurts on a daily basis. It's not healthy to carry around so much pain and guilt. You need to let it go, Quinn. You need to forgive yourself."

Quinn looked up at the night sky and wondered how Rachel made it sound so easy. She knew the woman was right, but that was something she had struggled to do her entire adult life. Quinn had been raised to hold on to grudges and to always guard emotions that could come back to hurt you later. Even if that emotion was guilt. "I don't know how."

Rachel's heart clenched at the broken admission. She could feel the weight of it in her bones and she rolled to her side to try to alleviate the pressure. Rachel tucked the phone between her ear and the pillow, freeing her hand to run across the empty bed beside her. A space that had quickly become "Quinn's side" and imagined the woman lying next to her. "You start by realizing that you are more than the sum of your actions. You start by acknowledging that even if you are, your actions over the last six or seven years has far surpassed everything that came before." Rachel said softly. "You have to find a way to realize that you've done everything in your power to work passed your mistakes and forgive yourself like I did years ago. You are not the same person you were yesterday, much less who you were five years ago, ten years ago. You've changed, Quinn. Your morals and values have changed. You care more about the people around you than you do for yourself. And you need to realize that the past is the past and it needs to stay there. You can't undo it, and like I said, it's made us who we are. It's brought us to this point in our relationship. And as much as a re-do would be lovely, it would completely change the here and now. And who knows if that different future would be as good as this one. And Quinn, I like this one."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, my beautiful girl."

"Me too." Quinn sighed again and ran her fingers through her hair. "Me too. I'm not saying that I'm going to completely get over this overnight, but I hear what you're saying, Rachel. And I'll try to stop bringing it up."

"I want you to talk to me about it when it's bothering you, but I don't want to hear any more self-condemnation. And I don't want to hear any more apologizing. You've done that. More than enough times and I've accepted it every single time. But I'm done with that part of this conversation. If the guilt is weighing on you, I want you to share it with me. I want you to still be able to talk to me about whatever you are thinking or feeling, but I don't want anymore of this self-depreciation bullshit."

"Did Ms. Rachel Berry just let an explicit word cross her lips?" Quinn chuckled.

"Yes, well, it has been known to happen. And if it sufficiently got my point across then it served it's purpose."

"That it did. Have I told you lately how amazing you are?"

"Not in the last hour or so."

"Well you are, Rae. So very amazing. I can't imagine you not being here in this future."

"There's no place I rather be."

Rachel wanted nothing more than to climb into her bed and cry. The audition had been nothing short of disasterous. Everything that could have gone wrong, did. She was cut off only a few bars into the song she had prepared. She had been grilled vigorously about everything from her childhood to her relationship with Quinn. Rachel was so flustered that she had flubbed her lines, lines she had known inside and out before she had even reached her teenage years. And on top of all that, she had only met the casting director and one of the executive producers. Her idol hadn't even been on the lot that day. She had been looking forward to meeting her Barbra again after they had briefly met at a charity event two years before. As she reached the door to her suite she sighed and laid her head against it, dreading walking into the empty room after the day she'd had.

"Rae?"

Rachel slowly turned her head, never lifting it from the door, at the sound of the familiar voice.

Quinn let a small grin lift the corners of her mouth as she watched the woman before her for some sort of reaction. When Rachel continued to stare at her, unmoving, and Quinn could feel her nervousness bubble over. This wasn't something she normally did. She wasn't impulsive. She didn't just show up places. She called and planned. Her nerves caused her to shift from one foot to the other as she watched Rachel watching her. Quinn watched the slow smile spread across Rachel's face and let her shoulders sag in relief. Relief that lasted two seconds before she was moving forward, concern filling her being.

"Hey, wait, no." Quinn cooed as she pulled her sobbing girlfriend into her arms. "You weren't supposed to cry."

Rachel tried to speak but all that came out was another sob. She hadn't realized just how much she needed Quinn until she was there. She wasn't sure how she was there, but she thanked everything good and holy that she was. Rachel clung to Quinn with all that she was, not even realizing they were moving until she was being sat on the edge of the bed in her hotel room. Rachel curled into Quinn, allowing strong arms to pull her closer as she buried her face into the nook of a strong neck, trying to breath in Quinn's scent and letting it soothe her aching soul. She'd never felt so utterly devastated, not even when her first horribly tv show was cancelled and she crawled back to Lima with her tail between her legs. She knew it was a little much to be this upset, but everything, everything was weighing down on her and she just couldn't breath.

Quinn waited until Rachel's sobs had quieted to silent tears before she tried to pull away. "I'm going to get you some water and a wet cloth." Quinn whispered as she started to stand, only to feel Rachel's fingers dig painfully into her neck, holding her in place.

"Don't."

"I'm not going anywhere, love, just give me a minute, okay?"

Quinn quickly gathered a few things and called down to order room service and silently prayed she'd be able to get Rachel calmed down before it arrived.

"We have to stop making this a habit." Quinn joked quietly as she entered the room and tilted Rachel's face up, smiling softly at the red-rimmed eyes, smudged mascara, and sad, questioning eyes. She answered as she began to wipe the remnants of tears from Rachel's cheeks. "Crying in doorways."

Rachel gave a watery laugh. "It's becoming a thing."

"We already have bathrooms. We don't need any more things."

Rachel smiled sadly and shrugged a shoulder. "We'll always have things."

Quinn ran the backs of her fingers over Rachel's freshly cleaned cheek. "As amusing as this conversation is, do you want to tell me want to tell me what that was about?"

"I'm happy to see you?" Rachel hedged.

"As much as I appreciate the thought that my mere presence can bring anyone to tears, I have a feeling that there is much more to it than just that."

Rachel huffed out a laugh and pulled away from Quinn's touch, needing a bit of space to breath. "I'm scared." She admitted.

Quinn tilted her head as she waited for an explanation. "Rachel, please don't make me drag this out of you. Because I will. And I can't promise it will be pleasant."

Rachel looked up to see the determination in Quinn's eyes and shivered. That tone, with that stance, was just too much. She was equal parts terrified and turned on but the no nonsense look Quinn gave her as she sat down at the foot of the bed. Rachel took a breath. "I am pretty sure I bl-" She hesitated as she realized that the answer she was going to give, the explanation about her blowing her audition, was just a way to circumnavigate the real reason she'd lost it at the sight of Quinn standing before her. Rachel took a fortifying breath. "I had all these plans when I came out here. And I realized today that I may not get a chance to reach a lot of them." She admitted softly as she played with her fingers on her lap. "But more than that, I realized that none of that scared me as much as losing you."

Quinn shook her head, her blonde hair whipping back and forth with the move. "But I'm not going anywhere."

"But you could. Don't you see? Every time something good in my life happens, something equally horrible happens. It always has. I don't know if I'm just not good enough, if I haven't done enough good in this life to deserve it, but I just wish for once that the thing I want the most doesn't get snatched away from me like everything else has."

Quinn scooted closer and slid her fingers between Rachel's. "Love, I swear," Quinn brought their fingers to her lips. "You said last night that you felt like you had found the love of your life. I'm starting to believe that you are mine. And if you think for one second I'm going to let anyone take that from me, you've got another thing coming." Quinn dunked her head until she caught Rachel's eyes with her own. "I did not go through four years of watching you fawn over the oaf of a boy, and another five years of trying to become friends with you, just to let you get away from me when you've finally given me a chance. So, are you actually going tell me where this is all coming from. Or are you just going to keep pretending this is you being afraid of losing me?"

Rachel huffed and pulled her hand away, crossing her arms over her chest. "That is what this is about."

"Okay, let's say that I believe that. You're telling me that there was nothing else that led up to this feeling?" Rachel pursed her lips and looked away. Quinn bit back a smile, forgetting that sometimes you had to handle Rachel a little differently than you would anyone else. Once a diva, always a diva. She might have matured a lot since high school, but there were still parts of her younger self that would appear at the oddest time. "Rachel, what happened today?"

"Why are you here?"

"Would you like me to leave?" Quinn snapped back.

"No, but I would like an answer."

Quinn crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm pretty sure I asked you one first."

"Why do you have to make everything a fight?"

Quinn shook her head and leaned back on her arms. "I'm not doing this, Rachel. I'm not letting you start a fight because you don't want to talk. If you don't want to tell me, then don't. But don't try to goad me."

Rachel huffed again and screwed her face up. She was being a brat. She knew she was being a brat. Her emotions were running high and she knew part of it was what was going on, and part of it was her being on her period, and part of it was plain just being upset at life. She was being honest when she told Quinn she was afraid of her, but she was also afraid of Quinn seeing her as a failure.

"Rachel, whatever it is, whatever happened in the last twenty-four hours that caused... this," Quinn waved her hands between them, "is just more than just you being afraid of losing what we have together."

"Why can't you believe that that thought scares me?"

Quinn slid up the bed next to Rachel. "I do believe it. But I also believe it was you that told me that sometimes we have to take risk in order to experience something great. Or was that just a speech to get me to see my mother?"

"It wasn't. I truly believe everything in our lives has the potential to either make us happy or to ruin us. And Quinn, you could completely ruin me." Rachel admitted softly.

"I want to ruin you, Rachel. I want to completely and utterly destroy you." Quinn grabbed Rachel's wrist before the brunette could even think to move away. "I want to ruin you for anyone else. I want you to be destroyed by a simple kiss, because you know you'll never feel something as beautiful. I want no one ever to compare. I want to know that no one else will ever do. And yes, I realize that that's horrible and selfish, but I can't help but…"

Quinn's words were cut off by Rachel's lips. "I'm sorry. I am glad you're here." Rachel whispered against her lips.

"I was starting to wonder." Quinn said before lightly kissing the crazy woman next to her. She put all her love and devotion into the simple press of lips that she could. She smiled at Rachel's glazed eyes as she pulled back and lifted her eyebrow. "I'm still waiting for an answer."

"You first."

"Mine is simple. There was a huge leak on set last night and my scenes have been pushed back at least two days." Quinn leaned against the headboard. "Your turn."

Rachel took a deep breath and lowered her head onto Quinn's lap. "I had a bad day."

"Rachel." Quinn sighed as she ran her fingers through soft, brown locks. "Did the audition not go well?"

"Saying it didn't go well would be a colossal understatement."

"Colossal? You couldn't just say big or huge like a normal person?"

"Normal is overrated and neither of those words come close to how horribly awful it went."

"Are you going to tell me why it was 'horribly awful' or do I have to guess?"

"You'll think I'm a failure." Rachel muttered into her thighs. "You know, when I was in high school and I had all these big Broadway dreams, I just got used to everyone laughing at me and I figured one day I would make it and I would show them that I'm not a joke anymore. And now I would love for someone to laugh. I would love not to feel like I'm losing everything again."

"Rae, you're not losing everything. Maybe it just isn't the right time for this role. It's not like it's the only one on the table."

"But I wanted this role." Rachel whined as she hugged Quinn's legs and breathed in Quinn's comforting scent.

"I know you did. And who knows, maybe you'll still get it."

"Doubtful. I was interrogated like a common criminal."

"I doubt it was that bad."

"You weren't there. They didn't give me a chance to even sing. Not really anyway. And then they questioned me for two hours. About my background. My resume. Our relationship. And they had done their homework, far passed what we revealed to Diane. They knew about Shelby."

"You've never hid your relationship with her, love."

"No, I mean, they knew about your relationship with Shelby." Quinn's hands stilled in her hair and Rachel bit her lip Maybe that wasn't the best way to spring that on her.

"They know about Beth?"

"They know she adopted your child. I don't know if they know her name, it wasn't brought up."

"Jesus."

"Exactly. Which is why I was completely flustered by the time that I got to the part where I was required to read copy. I completely forgot the lines and even when I was reading them off the page… I wasn't completely there. I was worried about what they knew, how it would affect you, what Beth's life would be like if someone were to publicly acknowledge that my sister is your biological daughter. All these worst case scenarios kept flying through my head."

"Rae, you can't let yourself worry about all of that. If it happens, it happens, and we'll deal with it if and when it does."

Rachel rolled over and looked up at Quinn. "I'd like to at least have some sort of contention plan in place."

"Of course you would, but we're not discussing that right now, Rachel. Right now, you are telling me about your horrible audition."

Rachel huffed and rolled back over. "It wasn't an audition. I've been to auditions. Hundreds by this point. It was a firing squad."

"You've had bad auditions before." They both heard the underlying question. Why was she taking this one so hard?

"It was just... I... it wasn't just this. It was everything. And this was just the icing on the cake."

Quinn's fingers fell into Rachel's hair again, raking her nails across her scalp, playing with her long hair, knowing it seemed to sooth the small diva. "Talk to me, Rachel."

"I don't know if I've ever been this stressed out before in my entire life, and that in itself is saying a lot. I mean, I'm dating you, which while being amazing, is a bit nerve-wracking because you're you and completely out of my league." Rachel powered on knowing if she hesitated for even a second Quinn would disagree with her and right now she just needed to get everything out. "There was all the stuff with sleeping together, I mean the many failed attempts that lead to the first successful attempt that was of course done where anyone and everyone could see. And that lead to the interview, which while not being horrible, wasn't all that great to go through either. And then there was this stupid audition, for this stupid role that I stupidly would kill for. And if all that wasn't enough, my period started today which means I am even more of an emotional basket case than normal. I have cramps and I feel like my uterus is trying to claw through my stomach. And I'm hungry and craving chocolate."

"You're cute when you're upset." Quinn chuckled right as there was a knock on the door. "I may not be able to fix all of that, but I can at least help with the last two."

Rachel sighed as Quinn slid from beneath her. She wasn't sure what she was going to do, or what was in store for them, but she was so beyond glad that she didn't have to face it alone. The smile that Quinn sent over her shoulder as she headed to the door to retrieve their supper seemed to help soothe the ache that had plagued her all day. Maybe Quinn was right. Maybe this role wasn't meant for her. But there were others out there that were.

Yes, yes, I know, I'm evil and haven't mentioned the semi-cliffhanger from the previous chapter. There are plenty of context clues in both this chapter and the last line of the previous one. Let me know if you figure it out! I'd love to hear your theories, opinions, and thoughts.