I walked away from my group, out the door and down the hall to the ladies' room. I felt significantly cooler in here not that the hot spotlight was off of me. I went over to the sinks and leaned heavily on one. I glanced up at my reflection in the mirror above the sink but looked away quickly. I couldn't stand what I saw, what I could feel everyone else saw.
My outside shell was pretty and practically perfect but it felt wafer thin. Inside of me there was this terrified little girl who wanted nothing more than to hide from the world and wait for the storm to blow over. I tried to be strong, but I knew that it would only be a matter of time before someone or something cracked my shell. I felt like everyone around me saw how frail I was, and pitied me because of it. And that really got to me. I could take anger, and I could handle empathy, but I could not stand the pity of anyone.
But before I could get much further in my self-loathing, I heard the door behind me open and close. I looked up and saw Bellatrix and Narcissa standing there. I whipped around to face them, my face a calm mask. They couldn't touch me here.
"Strife." Bellatrix said, taking a slow step toward me.
"Black." I said, matching the contempt and loathing in her tone perfectly.
"It's Lestrange now." She said as if I had mortally offended her.
"Bellatrix Lestrange. Perfect match considering they don't come much stranger than you." I said in a mock thoughtful tone.
"You think you're so strong. But we've seen what you are without you little friends." Narcissa said.
They were slowly advancing toward me. I felt the need to wipe the venom from her words off of my face. But I didn't. I kept staring at them, calm and collected. This was why I came: to show them I wasn't afraid.
"I'm not that girl anymore. You've given me a whole new layer of skin that's much thicker. If anything, it'll take so much more to break me now than it ever would have before." I said.
They were arm's length away now. I never realized it before, but we were all around the same height. Bellatrix looked me up and down with a look of pure disgust.
"We'll just see about that." She said.
We stared at each other for another moment.
"I never said this, but that is a lovely dress." Narcissa said with a sticky sweet smile.
I felt my guard slam up. Narcissa was her most dangerous when she wore that smile. I looked at her curiously and was about to retort. But then she dumped the glass of red wine she had been carrying down the front of my dress, leaving a nasty blood colored stain. I glared at her but she just smiled. Then she and Bellatrix swept out of the room in a fit of giggles.
When the door shut behind them, I sighed and turned back to the mirror. The stain only was visible on the white parts of my dress, but I knew that the dress was ruined regardless. I figured that magic was out of the question because, if they had intentionally dumped the wine down my dress, they probably would have done something to it to make getting it out hard and complicated. I grabbed one of the towels and ran some cold water over it. I was starting to dab at the stain when I heard the door open again.
I looked up, fully expecting to see Lily. But instead I saw a girl I didn't recognize at all. When she saw me, she jumped rather violently. I turned around and she started laughing slightly.
"Sorry. I expected to be alone. The party seemed to have everyone so engaged." She said, still chuckling.
"No, not really. I found it to be rather boring." I replied curtly, not really in the mood to deal with this. I just wanted to go back to my bed and hide from the world.
"It's what one makes of it I guess. Oh dear, did you have an accident?" she asked, suddenly very concerned.
I looked down at my dress again. "I guess you could say that." I said with an ironic chuckle.
"My mum taught me the perfect spell for getting stains out. Mind if I have a go?" she said excited, pulling her want out of her purse.
I looked this stranger, who looked to be only a fifth year at best. I looked at my dress again; it was already ruined so I figured she couldn't do much more damage. I shrugged and she rushed over. She screwed up her face in concentration and muttered the spell under her breath. Right before my eyes, I saw the harsh red stain disappear and within seconds, it was gone.
"Good as new." She announced with a triumphant smile.
I ran my hand down the spot where the wine had been and felt the dry silk. "Thanks." I said. I smiled my first real smile all day.
"I don't think we've met. I'm Rebecca, Rebecca Burke." The girl said, sticking out her hand.
"Sky Strife." I said, taking her hand.
We shook and a strange expression came over her face. "Are you Sirius Black's girlfriend?" she asked hesitantly.
I nodded with a proud smile. She smiled back.
"You two are so adorable. How long have you been together?" she asked with that same excited smile.
"Two years." I said casually.
She made a face and a sound that one usually makes when looking at baby animals.
"Are you two engaged?" she asked.
"No." I replied, my face now confused.
She mirrored my expression. "Have you guys ever talked about marriage? Kids?" Rebecca asked quickly.
"No." I said hesitantly. I didn't understand where she was going with this line of questioning.
"Have you talked about what you're going to do when you are done here?" Rebecca asked, suspicious now.
I shook my head slowly. Sirius and I, let alone anyone in our group, had yet to talk about any kind of plans for the future. I was pretty positive that we, collectively, were just trying to take things day by day. Personally, I was just trying to maintain some sort of vaguely normal sleeping and eating schedule. I really wasn't thinking about what I was going to do months from now because frankly, I wasn't sure if I was going to be alive for that long with the way things were going. If Moody didn't kill me in his ridiculous trainings, then those damn Slytherins would.
Rebecca huffed and rocked her weight back away from me. I hadn't realized that she was leaning in toward me until that moment. I looked at her, confused again.
"I really thought you'd be The One. All the signs were there, but I guess I was wrong." She said, almost as if she were talking to herself.
"What do you mean?" I asked, my confusion now in my voice as well as on my face.
"The one that would get THE Sirius Black to settle down. But I guess you're just like all the others." Rebecca continued in that same tone.
I was about to question her further, but she walked away before I could. The door closed behind her and I stared at it.
My gut reaction to her assumptions was fury. I wanted to storm after her and tell her that I was in no way, shape, or form like any of Sirius's previous girlfriends. I was his best friend long before I was his girlfriend, and he even admitted that he only dated those other girls to make me jealous. But some tiny, completely irrational part of my mind stopped me. I turned to look at myself in the mirror again.
Am I REALLY that different from them? That small voice thought.
Yes, I was different. He treats me different. He respects me. He trusts me. He loves me. He never really loved any of them. I scolded myself.
Did they all think that too? That voice thought.
I had to admit that Sirius always treated his "girlfriends", if you wanted to call them that, with respect. As far as I knew, he never cheated on them.
But he came from one of the most notorious pureblood families of all time. He must have picked up something.
This was also true. Sirius told once that the women in his family never expected fidelity out of their husbands, just discretion. He told me that he knew for a fact that his father had at least two mistresses. But they were never brought to the house and were probably of "impure blood" so his mother would never run into them.
But Sirius is different. He doesn't believe in any of that bullshit. He hates it.
I was NOT like any of his other girlfriends. Hell, the mere fact of how long we'd been together showed that. Sirius's longest relationship before ours lasted all of six weeks. Most averaged around two or three weeks. So us being together for two years proved that I was not like them.
Two years without sex is a long time.
This was also, unfortunately, true. I wanted to wait until I was ready and Sirius has been, if not happy with, but supportive of that. He didn't push me and seemed happy enough to wait for the green light from me. But he would never cheat on me. I was the love of his life; he's told me that on several occasions. I looked at my reflection again. I squared my shoulders; that Rebecca didn't know anything about my relationship with Sirius. I smiled at my reflection and turned to walk out to the party.